#what i mean by THAT is that josh seems pretty much ''fine'' before he. yknow. faked his own death GDHSHG BUT LIKE

[joshstambourine]

A Seconds Glance

"Hi I have a request for either Josh or Jake 💛 can I get a story where they see a girl, either at school or they can already be famous in this, and is instantly enamored. I don't know if you've seen The Virgin Suicides, but if you have then something similar to when Trip sees Lux for the first time. I'm interested in how those two would go about getting a girl's attention when they have a crush.💕💕💕" - Anonymous

//Hi Doll! I can’t say I have seen that--- but I will try my best to write something that I feel matches the idea you had. 

I’m gonna be repeating this forever--- but again, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this request out for you! I decided to go with Josh being in school for this one.//

Warnings: Cursing, awkward beans

Word Count: 1969

Synopsis: Josh had never really believed in love at first sight... but yet....

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader

The first day of sophomore year. For most this was just the start of another school year; a sudden reminder that a new binder or fun pencil case is exciting for all of 10 minutes when it comes to actual classes and work. But for Josh… this year felt like it was filled with possibilities. It sounds like some sort of stupid thing you'd see on a motivational calendar, but it really truly did.

Josh hadn't imagined for a second that he actually would have a chance in making music his career; and yet, he had spent all summer with his band mates playing for different occasions and pubs. All the while they were working, working hard on writing songs that they could be proud to play for others.

All of that said, Josh was returning to high-school this year with a new found amount of confidence and excitement; it showed in every step Josh took. His one hand held loosely on to the arm of his backpack, walking in time with Jake.

"But what do you think? Would it look good on me?" Jake inquired, fingers lightly playing with the mid-length pieces of hair on his head.

"I mean… I don't know…" Josh lightly starts, glancing at his twin and begins to take a good long look at him.

Jake's eyes widened just a touch, his expression becoming one that said, 'Well…?'

"Uh… honestly I don't really know Jake. I've never seen you with anything else than this." Josh admits, then snickers a little, "Except for that one time when we decided it'd be fun to take those scissors and---"

"No, that's fine, I didn't need to think about that." Jake immediately stopped him, his hand going to take a full dive into his mess of dark brown hair. 

"Cmon, it was really funny though. Ma really lost her shit when she saw your head like that." Josh continued to muse, hands folding into his pockets with the utmost of ease. 

Jake shook his head in a mournful way, "I can say I will never go back to a buzz-cut again… not without a fight."

Josh's smile never faltered, it was his laughter that changed, softening into a bit of a sigh as they reached the double doors at the front of the school. With a swing of the doors they both were making their way down the hallway to their lockers.

"Meet by Mr.Shapiro's class before lunch?" Jake questioned, to which Josh nodded. No matter which school the twins went to the teachers seemed to know that the best course of action was to keep them separated. That said Josh and Jake always had separate homerooms at least, through most of their time in school.

"See ya in a bit." Josh waved, taking a few steps back before turning on his heels and heading to his own locker.

Josh's excitement to be back in class showed on his face more than he probably would have wanted. A few pencils in his hand along with a binder filled with blank paper and tucked away dividers.  

As soon as Josh stepped into the class room his eyes were met with many familiar faces. Some of these people he had been in school with since kindergarten; like Meg, a rather tall blunt faced girl with long kinky black hair. She simply threw a peace sign Josh's way as he stepped through the doors; he eagerly returned it, bringing a small smile to Meg's lips. 

With some brisk steps Josh moved to place himself at the back of the classroom, just behind Meg. He threw his things on his desk without much thought. Despite there being a good number of kids he knew... there seemed to be equally just as many new kids. 

Leaning on his desk Josh moved closer to Meg, "Where the hell did these guys come from?" 

Meg's brow lifted as she leaned back a little, "Know the high-school on the east side?" 

"The one where you can get crack for super cheap?" Josh inquired, 

Meg's head bobbed, "They closed it down, so now we get half the kids that went there." She explains with her head resting on her hand in a bored way. 

"Oh shit really? That's a lot of kids---" Josh was quick to respond, glancing around the room. 

"Oh yeah... way too many in my personal opinion --- not that anyone cares." Meg mutters, beginning to click her mechanical pencil. 

Josh's eyes were still taking in all the new faces as he started to respond, "Wow aren't we positive today." 

Meg sighed, "Eh.... I'm just not excited, Justin and I broke up over the summer and I'll have to see him in history." She began to explain, "Things are just really tense, yknow?" 

She waited a moment for him to give some comforting... but still idiotic response, however none came. It finally got Meg to turn and look at him, as she did she immediately noticed that Josh's eyes had widened just a touch, cheeks dusted a light pink. 

Meg followed the line of his eyes to a beautiful young woman. The expression he wore was more than enough to tell Meg that she should move. 

Josh was so busy just... taking the new girl in that he didn't even notice Meg slip to the free desk to the side of the one she was previously sat in. Josh just couldn't put his finger on it, there was something... something so breathtaking about her. Was it her eyes? Or maybe how her hair fell around her face? He couldn't be sure. What he was absolutely sure of was that he had never had a moment in his life where he could hear music just by looking at someone. 

"Hey... do you know if this desk is free?" A new voice shook Josh. It was her. She was standing at a desk to his left with a bit of an awkward air. 

He was just so shaken. What did she say again? Something about a desk? Josh's lips parted, "Uh--- I uh, what did you--?" 

"No that one isn't open, but the one just in front of my dude Josh is, right Josh?" Meg interrupted, pointing to the desk ahead of him. 

"Oh y-yeah, that one's open! Definitely 100% open! It couldn't be more open even if it tried!" Josh started spouting, he really wasn't even aware that his mouth had moved, and that was clear in the fact that it just kept moving when she had come to sit down. "Do you need any pencils at all?? I have like 20!" He continued, though his hand held one full sized pencil and one shorter than the average person's pinkie... both chewed on. "I mean not on me but--- who needs a pencil right?" 

The girl laughed a little awkwardly, her gaze moving from Josh to Meg and then to the desk. "No, no I'm okay thank you though." She slipped into the chair, keeping her gaze frontwards. 

Meg looks to Josh with a shocked look, 'What was that??' She mouthed, 

Josh responded with an absolutely mortified expression. He would never say he was the smoothest guy on the planet, but he had never been that awkward in his life. 

Meg shook her head before reaching out to tap the girl's shoulder, "I'm Meg!" She introduces, "And that goober is Josh." 

The girl lightly moved to glance over her shoulder at Josh in a shy way. "It's nice to meet you both. I'm (Y/N)." She hummed with a sweet smile. 

"That's a pretty name, isn't it Josh??" Meg quickly said, trying to get him to continue the conversation in a less awkward way.

Josh nodded very enthusiastically, "The prettiest name I've heard in a long time!" He said with a smile, 

(Y/N)'s cheeks began to hold a flush of their own. "Oh! Uh... th-thank you!" She sputtered out. 

'OH FUCK. She's so cute.' Josh thought to himself, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat with a shaky swallow. 

Little did Josh know that (Y/N) was thinking something very similar. She might not make it as obvious as he was, but being so much closer now... being able to see the warmth in his brown eyes, seeing how his wavy brown hair came to cup his cheeks --- she couldn't help but continue to stare back at him. 

The only thing that could pull them both out of the little trance they had fallen into was the bell. Both of them quickly looked toward it, followed by a man's voice at the front of the class. 

"Alright everyone, take your seats!" 

(Y/N) was reluctant but she turned herself to look toward the front of the class. A little bit nervous, but mustering an ounce of courage she tore a piece of paper from her notebook quietly and began to scribble something down. 

Josh hardly got anything out of that language arts class, he was way too busy trying to figure out what excuse he could make to talk with (Y/N) again. He was just rattling through every little conversation starter he had ever heard in his life... but none of them felt like they would work. 

Before long the bell had rung overhead once more and everyone was shuffling to grab their things and head to all of their next classes. 

Biting his lip, Josh was determined to catch (Y/N) before she could head off to her own next class. Luckily for him she had a similar idea. Both turning to each other as they stepped out of the classroom, it was painfully quiet at first. It seemed as if they were trying to get their thoughts together really. 

Finally they spoke, 

"Hey would you---" "I was wondering if you'd---" 

At once. 

A small awkward laugh left their lips, "Please, go ahead I was going to say something dumb---" Josh quickly said moving to rub the back of his neck. 

(Y/N)'s lips parted as she let out and unsure chuckle, eyes moving downwards for a moment. "I was just going to ask if you would mind if I joined you for lunch? I just am new and don't really have any---" 

"Yes!" Josh quickly said, "Yes absolutely. You didn't even have to ask, you could have just showed up if you wanted to!" He quickly says to her. 

The speed he seemed to talk at entertained (Y/N) a heck of a lot. A smile creeping across her face, "Okay! Thank you!" She responded. 

"Do you know where the cafeteria is? I can show ya if you want??" Josh quickly continued, "I mean I'm sure you could find it on you're own, you seem very smart and capable. Most women are to be honest; I remember reading an article about how men need to---" 

"That would be really great actually." (Y/N) smiled in a gentle way. 'He's even more nervous than I am.' She thought to herself. 

"Oh-oh! Okay cool! Uh, do you know where Mr.Shapiro's class is?" He asks, 

(Y/N) seemed to think for a minute, "113... right? I have him for chemistry this afternoon I think." She mutters. 

Josh swiftly nods his head, "That's the one!! Meet me there okay?" He says. 

(Y/N) nodded back, understanding the little plan they now had. "I'll see you in a little bit then?" She lightly asks. 

"Yeah absolutely." Josh began to grin, suddenly beyond excited. Even as she began to walk off to her class all he could think about was how sure he was now that this year was going to be fantastic. 

That was until a warning bell played overhead, "Oh shit--" Josh jumped in shock, immediately beginning to run to his next class.

//That's all for now lovely! I do actually have an idea on how to continue this one if anyone would like! Pretty please let me know in the comments if that's something you guys would like 💜//

#greta van fleet #josh kiszka #josh gvf #greta van fleet fan fiction #jake gvf #jake kiszka #awkward beans #greta van fic #greta van fleet imagines #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fluff

[meltwonu]

〚 💜 𝕕𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕕𝕚𝕡 💜 〛| [Chapter 1] 

this chapter pairing; idol!Taehyung x makeupartist!reader x idol!Joshua

genre&warnings; softdom!joshua, dom!taehyung, threesome, blowjobs, reverse cowgirl baybeee, dirty talk, quickies, cum eating/sharing, hair pulling, mentions of sexting/pictures, a little praise kink, there is like one joshua x tae moment 🥰💕 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABES!! 😭 Y’all know I had to male the first chapter of Double Dip for the birthday twins!! Here’s hoping they had a great day 💕💕 Hehe~ and also looking forward to the next chapter~! If it’s NYE for you, have a safe night! See yall on Friday for Cherry Bomb~! 💜

word count; ~3000

chapters; 1 - ?

“Taehyung, will you just sit still? Ten more minutes and you’ll be done, I promise!”

You try to get the pouting male to stand still as you apply more lip balm; eyes rolling when he only whines harder. “I wanna go see Joshua and give him our gift already though…”

“I know you do, but we have time and he can’t do anything with it right now anyway.”

Taehyung’s lips fall into a knowing frown as he nods back softly. “I guess so… It just sucks, y’know? We always spend our birthday like this and I wanna do something fun!” You laugh airily as you put your brush and lip balm away before pushing Taehyung back into the chair in front of the vanity.

“I know, I know. And we’ll get to that after you get your hair fixed.”

“But you said ten minutes!”

“If you sit still it’ll be ten minutes but if you keep moving around it’ll be twenty so you better behave!”

“‘Shua-hyung, have you seen my belt?”

Chan lets out a frustrated noise as he trips over another pair of shoes; lips pursed at how small the room was for all of the members and staff combined. “I can’t find it and I’ve been looking for the last 15 minutes and there’s just so much stuff in here!”

Joshua shoots the younger male a small smile as he gets up from his seat to help him search for the item. “I’ll check one of the other rooms. Maybe it got misplaced or put into a luggage by accident by someone.”

“Thanks hyung, you’re the best!”

He leaves the loud and bustling room, a sigh of contentment on his lips when he finally has even just a little peace and quiet in the hallway. He leans up against the wall for a moment before he pushes off and starts walking to the other changing room where they kept all of the luggages with their clothes and accessories.

“Joshua!”

Taehyung comes barreling into his back quicker than a blink of an eye and the wind gets knocked out of him as he lets out a sound of surprise as you laugh in the background. “I told him not to do it but…” Shrugging, you catch up to the two males that laugh and walk down the hallway in each other's arms.

Taehyung makes it a point to not mess up Joshua’s hair or clothes when he swings an arm around the male’s neck. “Where are you headed? Aren’t you guys supposed to be getting ready?” Joshua nods, sighing softly in return. “Chan can’t find his belt so I offered to go help. It’s crazy in there, nobody can find anything!”

“We’ll help you!” You add; smirking as you skip in front of the two. “We should check in here!”

Opening the door to the otherwise empty room, you and Taehyung share a knowing look before he’s turning on Joshua and tugging him in by his necktie.

“Hey--whoa--”

“You can take Taehyung’s belt, I can just find him another one later~ We just wanted a little time with you, is all!” Joshua blushes a bright red, eyes focused on you as you shut and lock the door.

That could mean anything, he thinks.

“But I--I have to be ready soon, our stage is almost up…” He watches as Taehyung already strips himself of the Gucci belt around his waist; handing the leather to Joshua before he makes his way towards you.

“Oh, fuck–”

Joshua’s eyes go wide, watching as you and Taehyung get comfortable in the empty changing room. The male helps you up onto the table; soft giggles spilling from his lips and yours when he starts to pepper soft kisses on your exposed neck.

‘Seventeen, you’re on in 30 minutes, please prepare for your allotted time!’

The speaker backstage booms throughout the halls and Joshua panics momentarily. “You guys, I don’t think we have enough time for this…” Joshua mumbles, cheeks burning red hot when he sees Taehyung’s hand disappear up your skirt.

“30 minutes? That’s plenty of time. We just have to move fast, is all.” Taehyung’s words are muffled against your skin but it’s just audible enough for Joshua to hear.

“C’mon, Josh~ This is one of the few times we’re all together… and it’s your birthday today. Tae, too!”

“Fine, fine, fine. Make room for me!”

“Yknow, this wasn’t really what we were gonna bring you in here for.” Taehyung comments.

Joshua throws his head back when you sink your lips down onto his cock, already too worked up when he threads a hand through your hair. “Yeah? What exactly was the original plan then? ‘Cause it doesn’t seem like cake and balloons were on the original timetable.” You moan around his cock; using your tongue to tease the head as you dig it into the leaking slit.

“Mmh, well, we were just gonna give you your gift, which really, seems so lackluster now, right, doll?” Taehyung grins at your back, hands on your waist as you sit on his cock. The three of you had moved to the vacant sofa inside of the changing room; two pairs of hands roaming your body when they’d sandwiched you in between them. 

“But she got a little too handsy in the changing room. Got her pussy all soaking before we even stumbled out into the hallway, didn’t you?” Taehyung slaps the side of your thigh just as you pull off of Joshua’s cock; a thread of spit and precum connecting your lips to the head as you whine and pout up at Joshua.

“It wasn’t my fault… I saw Tae going through the nudes you sent him of us from last week…”

Joshua smirks, tugging on your hair a little harder as you mewl and clench around Taehyung’s cock. “Ah, yeah, those… Wasn’t she so pretty in them? Sat nice and still while I took them too.” He guides you back, using his other hand to wrap around his cock as he taps your lips with the head and smears precum all over your swollen lips. “Which one was your favorite, Tae?”

The other male hums, eyes meeting Joshua’s right before he cants his hips up into you and makes you yelp and brace your hands on his thighs in return.

“Mmm… probably the one where she had her legs spread, fingertips holding her tight ‘lil hole open while your cum dripped out. She looked so pretty fucked out, lips swollen and eyes teary too. I came twice that night just looking at that picture, doll. And I know you were well behaved for Joshua, right?”

Your body feels warm and tingly at their words of praise and all you can do is open your mouth wide for Joshua again as he smiles down at you. “Such a fuckin’ good girl, aren’t you, sweetheart? Take both of our cocks at the same time even though we’re in a rush. Always so good for us.” You sink your mouth back down onto him as you swallow around his cock while simultaneously swiveling your hips atop Taehyung’s lap.

“Oh, by the way, your birthday gift from me and her was a roomkey. Not a huge gift but… Round two is gonna be at the hotel across the venue and I even got a suite with a view so we can fuck her in front of the windows.” Taehyung pauses, licking his lips as you start to bounce in his lap. “Got us some nice wine too. Think we deserve a little relaxation before the year ends.”

“Who says anything about relaxing? We have a lot to catch up on, don’t we, sweetheart? Those pictures Tae sent me of you taking his cock and the pretty ‘lil plug in your cute ‘lil ass had me up all night when he sent them.” Taehyung guides your hips, groaning softly when you raise your hips, only to slam back down onto his lap.

“Fuck she’d look so fucking good with both our cocks in her tight ‘lil cunt.”

You whine around Joshua’s cock; taking more and more of him as you start to gag when he hits the back of your throat.

You really missed being with them both at the same time. Even when they were rare moments.

Both Joshua and Taehyung were always busy at this time of the year and while you mostly worked with Taehyung, you had more opportunities with them when the stylists and makeup artists were switched around for different events; even though you had to sneak around to see them.

Most often than not, it was you seeing one of them and never all three of you together due to lack of time and similar events, which was why they shared photos whenever they could. The three of you shared one chat where you made plans to meet up and also where you all shared various pictures and videos of them both fucking you. 

And on a lot of occasions, pictures and videos of them jerking off, abdomens covered in cum when you sent them videos of you with your pussy stuffed full of toys and their names rolling off of your tongue when you’d cum.

“Ngh, sweetheart, you gonna let me cum in your pretty mouth? I wanna cum in your fuckin’ pussy but we’ll save that for later when we have more time. For now, I want you to be good for me though. I’ll reward you later, I promise.”

You hum back in response, eyelashes wet with tears when he starts fucking your throat. Joshua’s grip in your hair tightens almost painfully as he chases his high and starts thrusting into your mouth; curses and praises spilling from his lips when he feels his cock throbbing.

“Cum in her pretty mouth.” Taehyung sits up, his chest almost at your back as he brings a hand between your legs and starts playing with your clit as you whine around Joshua’s cock and squirm on Taehyung’s lap at the sensations. “And don’t swallow it, doll.”

The vibrations of your whines and moans around his cock are enough to push Joshua over the edge as he cums and fills your mouth with the salty substance. He continues to thrust shallowly into your mouth as you tease the head of his cock with your tongue and swallow around him to work him through his orgasm.

“Bet her mouth feels so good around your cock, huh, Joshua? Almost as tight as her ‘lil cunt.” Taehyung pinches your clit between his fingertips and all you can do is clench around his cock as Joshua tugs on your hair when you can’t stop moaning around him.

“F--fuck, sweetheart, you’re so fuckin’ good to us. So obedient.” Joshua’s entire body tingles with warmth when he starts to pull out of your mouth; his eyes darting down to your chapped lips when you purse them to keep all the cum inside.

Taehyung uses his free hand to tilt your head to the side, leaning over as he kisses you hard; moaning into it when he tastes Joshua’s cum on your lips.

Joshua watches as you part your lips, tongue covered in cum when it meets Taehyung’s own. “Fuck…” He bites his bottom lip before he’s leaning in too, darting his tongue out as he laps at his own cum that you push out of your mouth and into theirs. The action has you mewling loudly while your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of both of their tongues clashing against yours as they both clean the salty substance off.

Taehyung pulls away first, chuckling under his breath as he licks his lips. “Hmm, we should do that more often. Oh, maybe we should eat her out at the same time later. Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, doll? Two tongues eating your cunt out while you beg us to let you cum.”

“Y-yeah…”

Joshua sits on the table across from the sofa; cheeks hot as he watches you and Taehyung.

‘Seventeen, seven minutes to call!’

Joshua shoots you and Taehyung a look of panic, already moving to stand when Taehyung growls. “Ah, ah, ah, Joshua is gonna see your pretty face when you fuckin’ cum on my cock. Over the table. Now.” He barks, not waiting a second before he’s pushing you off his lap gently.

You scramble to get into position, looking sideways up to Joshua who holds your stare when Taehyung all but drapes his body over yours from behind. He wastes no time before he’s bottoming out in a single thrust and fucking you hard and fast against the table Joshua sits on.

“C’mon, get my cock wet, doll. Your pussy is getting so fuckin’ tight around me, I know you wanna cum. Sucking off Joshua and letting him use your throat was enough for you, huh?” Taehyung reaches a hand around to play with your clit again, fingertips rubbing harsh, quick circles on the nub as you cry out their names.

“Ah, might wanna be a ‘lil quieter, doll. Do you want them to know you had both our cocks filling you up in here?” Joshua shoots you an angelic smile, hands smoothing down your messy hair.  “Mm, he’s right, sweetheart. You wouldn’t wanna get in trouble, would you?”

“Ngh, n-no… I’ll b-be, ah, g-good…”

Taehyung slams his hips into you, cock tapping your cervix and making you whine as you thrust your hips back to meet his quick movements.

“Please, mmh, wanna---wanna c-cum…”

“Go ahead, sweetheart. I want you to look at me when you cum. Let me see your pretty face while Taehyung fucks you good.” You nod feverishly, teary eyes looking up at Joshua when you feel the tension in your body snapping.

“Fuh--fuck! J--Joshua! T--Taehyung!” You scream-whisper; body tensing up just as Taehyung starts fucking you harder as he feels his own orgasm spurred on by yours. His cock twitches inside of your fluttering walls and you can’t help the mental images in your head of both of them fucking your pussy at the same time and filling you up with their cum until it’s spilling  out of you.

Tiny cries of their names fall from your lips as you continue to cum and you reach out a shaky hand towards Joshua’s as he pouts and leans down; kissing you on the forehead and squeezing your hand once before he starts to stand from the table to readjust his clothes. 

“Shit, I’m really sorry but I have to go, they’d probably already pissed I’m missing for so long.”

Taehyung nods tiredly, already feeling his orgasm ebbing off just as you start to squirm underneath him from the overstimulation of his fingers still playing with your clit.

“S’fine. I’ll get her cleaned up and have her fix my makeup and we’ll leave the roomkey in your changing room. Get going before you get hell and don’t forget the belt!”

Joshua nods, checking himself in the mirror before grabbing the leather material left forgotten by the door. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees not a single hair out of place before turns to face the two of you; chuckling under his breath at the way Taehyung squishes you underneath his tired body.

“Sweetheart?”

You lift your head from the table, eyes slightly unfocused as you peer up at Joshua tiredly. “Mm?”

“Thank you for making our birthday less boring. I’ll see you two later!”

Joshua makes it back to the changing room with 2 minutes to spare; already sweating when he all but throws the door open.

“I found it!”

Several pairs of eyes are on him in an instant as he blushes a bright cherry red, awkwardly standing in the doorframe with a belt in hand.

Uh oh.

Chan trapezes over the mess of shoes as he makes his way towards his hyung; nervous laughter spilling from his lips as he shoots the older male a panicked look.

“Thanks, hyung!”

The younger male pushes him out of the room gently as he shuts the door behind them and all but shakes Joshua once they’re alone. “Hyung, are you insane?!” Joshua looks at him flabbergasted, head shaking furiously as he grips the strip of leather tightly.

“What the fuck are you on about? I got you your belt! See!?”

Chan lets out an exasperated noise, taking the leather belt from Joshua’s hold as he shakes it about in front of the older male’s line of vision. “The coordis have us wearing Saint Laurent tonight and this is Gucci! What are you doing with a BTS members’ belt!? That’s what they’re wearing! Did you steal this?!”

“Wh---no! I--I didn’t steal it!” If Joshua could blush harder, he would; lips suddenly feeling tingly at the way he doesn’t have an explanation for this one and the way he can’t seem to formulate one either. “J--just don’t wear it then! We’ll… leave it in the room and return it later, say we found it on the floor!”

“But how did you get it?”

Chan can’t help but raise a concerned brow at Joshua’s odd silence and crimson cheeks; nodding slowly as the older male continues to fidget and open and close his mouth like a fish out of water.

“We have to get going... But I hope you know you’re gonna have to explain this eventually.”

#Joshua smut #taehyung smut #seventeen smut #bts smut #svt smut #v smut #Joshua scenarios #Joshua imagines #taehyung imagines #taehyung scenarios #v scenarios #v imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bangtan smut #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagines #Joshua hong #Kim taehyung #doubledip_meltwonu

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

[survivorhephaestus]

EPISODE 02: Hmm, Okay, Sounds Weird But Okay

For the castaways’ second immunity challenge, a glitch in the system took down their Deep Space Survival Procedures and Protocol Manual, also known as the Rules page. Their task was to reconstruct it as best they could, which shouldn’t have been hard since they all definitely read those rules thoroughly before beginning the game, right? 

Hmm, perhaps not. They both did a decent job reconstructing, though. Within the first two hours of the challenge, Lovelace found a loophole and used the Rules from one of Ari’s other games as a template to work from. Even with that, Minkowski was a fierce contender - maybe they actually did read the rules - and the teams tied. Ultimately it was Lovelace’s early submission time that secured them a second win.

At Minkowski’s second Space Council, Jay was voted out 6 - 1 and went to join Karen inside the star. The DSSPPM was restored, and the anarchy of this round was laid to rest.

RICHIE

i got my way and karen just left :) noah fence karen you just were the only person on the team i wasnt aligned with bc i needed someone to vote out if we lost im sure youre great!!!!!! i'm not aligned with everyone left which isn't good bc if we lose then i'm fucked lmao... the person i'm least aligned with is probably Pat??? which is interesting bc stevie and jay didn't vote with me.... i really wanted to vote with them but they wanted to vote for jakey and he's one of my closest allies at this point.... i should have just straight up told stevie and jay that i had the votes to get out karen that way there would be more team unity and if we lose again jakey wouldnt be so for voting one of them out and i could point the finger to Pat for the least amount of blood on my hands but I know stevie and karen are friends and i didn't want to be so obvious about the fact that i know the votes were there for karen bc im the one who got them all lmao we really need to win this and then hopefully a team swap happens bc if we go back to space council with this group i'm fucked i have too many allies this is wild

JAKEY

hello!! so basically today was SPACE COUNCIL DAY!!!! so we have some content ladies, saddle up! 

so coming into council i've only spoken with richie and pat one on one lol which is clearly NOT GREAT so i had to get to #werk. richie informs me at 7:10 that miss karen wanted either me or richie to leave. 

now clearly since i'm me and richie is one of the two people that have built a relationship with me im like hell no!!!! so at this point it's clear karen is the person i was gonna target since she came for me yknow 

so RENEE messages me today and we get to talking a little bit and we immediately have a GREAT bond. i get good vibes from her and i was so happy to find someone i could potentially work with closely in this game! 

so she rly wants to keep me and she hasn't talked to karen, so i knew i could get her vote from there. so then it was mostly talking to pat and what i've gathered from pat is he's very secretive and sketchy... like this vote he wasn't saying much which i know he was busy and everything but he was telling richie like he wont be around so he might not be able to vote or something and it was ????? also he's apparently close with JOSH because i havent spoken once to josh and pat was like "ok josh will vote with us" and i was like hmmm okay sounds weird but okay. 

so yeah it ended up being me/richie/renee/pat/josh for karena n karen/stevie/jay  voting for me. im all fine for this outcome especially since i got to have my sandra-esque "AND THE QUEEN STAYS QUEEN" moment... i was LIVING... but im so worried pat/josh will turn on me in the next vote!!! i don't trust them at all and maybe it's time to start trying to built relationships with stevie and jay since maybe they feel on the outs after this vote. 

at this point i know im going to be an ONGOING target on this team so the quicker we swap, the BETTER (i also want to reunite w some cuties on the other team) 

LOGAN

i just realized there were confessionals but honestly i've been sleeping this whole game and don't really talk to anyone lol #socialgame

PATRICK

Welp, that was a shit show.

A bit of context: I hated both options that came up. I tried subtly dropping Renee once or twice, but it was clear that wasn't gaining traction. My next preference would have been Jay, probably. That wasn't happening, either. People seemed locked on Jakey and Karen, which irked me and still kinda does. But since I was out I didn't really have much ability to make anything happen.

So, why take out Karen over Jakey? It gets complex. At the core of it, in a vacuum, I feel Karen would have been more loyal to me than Jakey likely will be down the road. But the issue comes in who I would have been throwing my hat in with if I'd gone with Karen. Those three votes were Jay, Stevie and Karen herself. I'd have made it four, and I presume Josh and I were always voting in lockstep. Either that, or rocks on the first vote which yikes.

Plain and simple, I don't like that group as a means to reach the end. I think me/Josh/Jakey/Renee/Richie will be a much more effective group. I wish Karen had talked to more people, because adding her to this group would've been great.

Also, Josh stated a preference to voting out Karen over Jakey. I really want to keep Josh feeling like he can trust me 100%. I always do better in these games when I have an unquestioned #1 ally. So I let him feel – rightfully – that if his preference was Karen, we'd do Karen. It helped that I was leaning that way, myself, for the reasons above.

Also, Jakey's pretty fun. A bit abrasive sometimes for my taste, but I'm not mad at all about working with him. He'll be a good ally, I think.

Ah well, onward and upward. RIP, Moose Alliance.

RICHIE

so we lost and now i'm fucked bc no matter who i vote for tonight i'm going to be backstabbing someone since i'm a dumbass lmao

me stevie and jay aren't an official alliance but we have talked about working together jakey has told me i'm his #1 and we have gotten close josh and renee are 2 of my favorite people who i just won't vote out rn

and pat and i really connected at the beginning of the game but i've kinda stopped the breaks on that relationship bc i needed someone with no connection with in case we went to council but it looks like it's impossible for me to put the vote on pat tonight which sucks for my game bc im going to be pissing off someone just who's it going to be??? idk bc we're less than 2 hours from council and no one is around!!!!!!

i love jay and i wanted to work with him but the last vote really fractured the team and choosing to go with the minority with a possible team swap coming just isn't the best idea???? i'm trying to do damage control with stevie 15 minutes before the vote so that if this all goes down as planned then i still have room to work with him hopefully

KARTER

I can't trust anyone? Or can I? I can't tell! I just want us all to be friends.

#survivorhephaestus

[jess-oh]

Reflection

hey,

i feel mixed things. i went to the good friday service and a part of me is happy that it wasnt awkward and i wasnt the only one that decided to go but another part of me is sad that i didnt get to spend that one-on-one time with jason. but i am glad that eunice and angela were there too. during the service, i took notes diligently and after the practical time, i did my best to distance myself from everyone else so as to not feel judged or pressured. and it did go well for a while and i was good at not speaking until we got into the small chapel and started writing our new commitments. my heart did break when i saw the whip and crown of thorns and touched it and i cant even imagine the physical, mental, and emotional torment that Jesus went through leading up to His death. And I kind of wish I had spent more time there instead of moving faster so that other people wouldn’t have to wait. But after writing my commitments, I decided to pray on my knees and I was aware when people started leaving and I knew that the room was either totally or nearly empty by the time that I was done but I just felt like I really needed that time to be with God and confess what was on my heart. I know that I’ve been struggling with what it means to rest in Christ and that’s something that I’ve never been very good at and really trying to understand my value in God’s eyes. I think I am still struggling with my identity in God but I did carry out my commitment. I am a lot more proud and bold in my faith. I’ve been able to more openly talk about my faith in my dorm, on the first floor, at work, at the train station, anywhere. And I am really proud of myself and how far I’ve grown since last year. And initially, I wasn’t really in the mood to have fun and games and laugh and fellowship but i pushed myself to learn to receive and relax so i laughed alongside them. and i did actually have a good time. i got a lot closer with chelsea and angela, jason, chelsea, and i decided to eat kbbq together afterwards and it was really fun! joyce and jiham later joined us and we all talked in between conversations. and i accidentally slipped and said, “i dont drink anymore” when jason jokingly offered me some and everyone immediately exclaimed, “WHAT?” to me in disbelief. And to my surprise, Jason asked if I had a problem with it before but stopped and I confirmed his suspicions. But looking back on it, I’m kinda surprised he got that from what I said? It could just be that I drank a bit but decided not to anymore? But anyway, I was half expecting them to press further into it but they didn’t and I’m partly sad that I couldn’t share and relieved that I didn’t have to share. I think I could have but it did make me feel kind of bad when they reacted so strongly. But throughout the day, honestly, I was forcing myself to put on a smile and pretend that I was okay. And it didn’t seem like the mood or the moment to share my struggles and I really do thin I define myself by how much I serve and give bc it is such a huge part of my identity. And I think my intentions are usually pure but there is always a part me that needs to give in order to feel like I’m worth something. And that’s definitely something that I need to seriously pray about. I think a lot of the times, I wait until I’m at church to pray instead of just doing it when I need to and because of that, it feels fake sometimes at church. It feels like I don’t really mean what I’m saying. And I definitely do think I need to spend more time with God to get over it. I do want an honest and pure relationship with Him and I know a lot of the times, my feeling like I need to be a leader gets in the way of that. And I pretended like I was fine and kept saying that I was okay but I also couldn’t stop thinking about how I literally didn’t want to live anymore on Saturday. That was less than a week ago and I just felt like I was in so much pain and suffering and misery that I couldn’t take it anymore and I just wanted to die and kill myself so that I could be happy and with God and just be in pure joy and bliss. But I’m afraid if I say anything, P. Josh will think I’m not yet ready to serve and take MAST away from me and I would honestly be so upset because of that. It would feel like EIC and yearbook all over again. But, not becoming EIC gave me the opportunity to build a much more intimate relationship with God and come back to Him and maybe this is a sign that I shouldn’t be serving in MAST bc it’ll just stand in the way of me being able to rest and receive and learn who God is through that. 

Oh, I also saw Chaeweon earlier and we sat together and it was gr9. BUT, she left early and I didn’t have time to say bye! :( But we are still going to hangout tomorrow so I’m excited for that! 

And my suspicions were confirmed, Jason and Angela are going out! And I want to ask more about it but I think I am a little more understanding of their relationship now. On the one hand, I’m a bit upset just bc I don’t want it to be like my freshman year where everyone in leadership was dating each other and that just made a lot of people feel left out and uncomfortable. But I am happy for them and I hope they grow strong in their faith together. I think they both have their own issues and I think Angela could easily take advantage of Jason on accident just bc she’s so strong and he’s so kind. But they’re both my friends and I do really hope things work out.

My day today—

it was pretty good. honestly. i started my day by getting my dishes done and out of the way, chatted with Emily for a bit in the morning, and headed to school. I revised the pamphlet for A^2 with the updated fonts and printed my leaflet for graphic design. There, I ran into Andrew Shike and helped him out with cutting and checked items out for the both of us. And then I hurriedly tried to take pictures on the 10th floor but it was a STRUGGLE. And my pictures came out okay but I didn’t have enough time to take better pictures and upload them before work and the media lab closed when I got off my shift, soooo. I just decided to take my time to get good pictures for class and my portfolio tomorrow. i think i’ll try to do it after hanging out with chaeweon for lunch! hopefully we dont take too long. well, idk. i would love to chat for hours with her and it not be awkward but i also do have some work to do. i guess she can accompany me and then we can just spend the day together from there? but, we’ll just have to see how things turn out tomorrow.

and honestly, im in a constant state of being on the verge of tears. true joy is something that i have not felt in a while and i can feel myself getting numb and afraid and anxiety-ridden and im just upset bc i worked so hard to get away from that but i feel like im just reverting back into my old habits.

i drank at the beginning of the school year bc i wasn’t in a mentally good stable. im still not in a mentally good place, lol. but i am better. kind of. i just felt very alone and like i couldnt trust anyone last semester and i was the most concerned with my grandma’s health at the time bc it didnt look like she would be making it by the time i returned for winter break. and i sought refuge and mulan and dana. and bc they were there for me, i was desperate to be accepted and so, i started casually drinking with them. marlena too. she respected my choice to not drink before but the temptation was there and i went for it. and granted, i didnt drink a ton but i was definitely on my way to becoming an alcoholic. i drank nearly daily for two weeks and since then, there have been moments when i was tempted to just drink to avoid my problems and ease the pain. and thank goodness im not 21 yet or else i would’ve bought so many bottles already. it’s bc i dont have easy access that im still sober and not an alcoholic but looking at everything that im going through, sometimes i just want to give up and solve my problems by not thinking at all. 

i dont know if i feel alone bc i know that i have people around me that care about me. but i do feel like theres this wall thats dividing us and keeping me from really being raw and vulnerable and just facing my fears and anxieties and worries head on. and im wondering if the only way to get over this is to confess it to God. And while I think that will help in part, I do think I also just need to be okay with trusting others with my life and weaknesses and vulnerabilities and thriving in where I fail. Because none of us are perfect. I feel like before, people were jealous of me bc of how perfect I seemed. But now that I’ve let people see my weaknesses, I feel like they judge me and deem me unfit to lead and serve. But if this is how I can better develop my relationship with God, then why not do it, yknow? Idk. I’m just. conflicted. struggling. theres a lot on my plate and i just want to throw myself at my work so that i dont have to think about it.

#reflection

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

5/12/17, 11:11pm - gettin cucked up

me and a particular group of my melee friends have been using the word cuck a lot still and I never really thought about where it came from. Like 4chan probably repopularized the use of the word because I saw that cuckold porn became a really big trend on there, but the way we use it isn’t like cuckoldry exactly, it’s more like getting fucked over, or stood up, or most specifically teased with a promise of a good time and then having someone back out at the last minute.

More on that later I guess. This week’s been so hectic. Wtf it’s only been like 5 days it feels like it’s been weeks already. I’ve restrategized my Get Your Shit Together (4.0) list, and the big three things are 1. pass the RPSGT, 2. get moved out of my apartment, 3. get some surgeries. 

Tony actually wrote my letter for real, so I put in my application to take the test this week! My cpr aed certification is outdated so I got an online one and I’m not allowed, so I have to do a course this weekend and fix that, but otherwise I’m all set. Gotta study hard, I’m pretty fucking pumped to get a raise. Glad I’m not dying for the money rn though, the $500 to take the test and get a new cpr cert would have me stresssssed the fuck out, dude.  No progress on getting someone to take my room just yet, my room’s a fucking mess, I need to do laundry, I’m kinda putting all this shit off for now tbh. We’ll wait until I’ve taken the exam I’ve got vacation this week anyway. And I talked to my dad, who gave me his blessing so to speak to get a vasectomy. I fudged a number that I told him, said that it’s 90% reversible (most numbers say 95% or greater w/in 3 years, about 50% at 10), but with the potential for in vitro fertilization even if the reversal fails I’m sure that’s about right. He told me that my mom had told him that she wasn’t trying to get pregnant for a year or so and then ‘was practically pregnant the next day.’ coupled with how mom was talking about being pregnant at their wedding I can see that lol. He basically told me that he loves all of us a lot, but yeah I would’ve definitely done that because it’s worth it to not have that kind of surprise when you can’t make money for a kid. I definitely can’t make money for a kid right now lol that would kill me. So I’ve already called the doc to get a referral and I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Gotta figure out how much my septum surgery will be too, but that’ll be a lot more -_- Me and dad were catching up for a bit and I helped him get in touch with Dr. Bruce to fix a hernia so he’s gonna be giving me some more money so that’ll help with that too though. Plus I’ll FINALLY be making sleep tech money. I’m so fucking pumped.

Plus basically the past 3 days I’ve Actually just been working. 3 patients a night for the first time this week was stressful as fuck. I mean not exactly. Just time consuming and pretty frustrating. As jimmy said “if you were still trying to get through Zelda you probably would be dying right now.” Made it through fine and that should sweeten up my paycheck just a smidgen.

Still haven’t eaten french fries, but definitely gave up on cigs. Practically like two days later. I was out drinking for Josh’s birthday and smoked a bunch. That shit was so fucking cash omg. I got blackout drunk for the first time in forevvver. Was hanging out with Jimmy, Josh, Ian, Jack, ran around with one of josh’s friends trying to pick up chicks at a bar after smashing beers into our head and shotgunning them. I have a video lol I’ll try to upload it once I have internet. Was trying to ‘flirt with all the ASA bitties’ but got too drunk and ended up boxing someone in Josh’s friend’s basement (w/ boxing gloves) lmfao. Reminded me of middle school boxing Cory Winters and having our little fight club ring lol. Drunk snapped a bunch of people, ian drove me home, it was a great fucking night. Oh and at Josh’s friend’s I ran into one of my asian friends who I could not remember for the life of me. I wasn’t sure if he was a league friend or one of brosciouss friends or a smash friend I was just so lost, but played it off really well (as always) and did jager shots with him. Fuck. Ing. Lit. First time I felt so happy and natural to be drinking in forever, too. Even got to see brett3 for a bit. Nice to be back in chapel hill. Especially when they’re good old drinking buddies like Jack. It’s so strange that I don’t really talk to anybody else from chapel hill, but then again it really isn’t. 

The date with Brianna went pretty meh. We met up and joked around a bunch and thrift shopped and I bought a whole fuckton of new pants to ease the process of spring cleaning and two new sweatshirts so I’m not wearing fuzzy shit all the time now that it’s getting warmer. Ate at Ms. Winner’s and it was some delicious ass cheap fried chicken, might be my new go to in gboro now. But she like barely wanted to kiss me at the end of the date idk what’s up with her, I’ve kinda bailed out since she’s all preoccupied with her family anyway.

Instead ive gone back to what I call my “harem strats” You see, by chatting up as many girls as possible (right now juggling 4-5) I divert my attention and stay aloof enough that I don’t seem like a crazy fuck. Instead I’m just an asshole who’s two timing girls, but yknow fuck you stop judging me.  This girl hit me up on snapchat saying I looked cute in my story and that we should smoke sometime. With the snapchat name Smokeahontas I could’ve sworn it was Kat, so I just go along with the convo. But then I see kat has a diff username and I was like wtfff who is this lol. I didn’t ask her though, just played along and eventually remembered when she asked for my insta that it was this girl I matched with on tinder months ago that I never followed up with (like most of them), probably because I got lazy lol.  Had a sort of date with Jamie, we got some food because she was getting off work, we smoked a bit, but she was like texting the whole time and fuckin bailed out after just an episode of south park to ‘go to the beach with her roommate.’ I still have been talking to her a bunch, but Idk what the fuck is up with that, kinda whack. Super cucked by how that went. Especially because when I walked her out to her car I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight it was this weird lasting embrace like she pressed her cheek into mine to make sure I didn’t try to kiss her I guess, but still held me tight for a really long time, I was like rubbing her lower back hoping she’d like loosen up and kiss me but hooooly shit it all felt super fucking awkward. I’m hoping she’s just really conservative about dudes since she’s such a cutie, but idk. it makes me actually not give a fuck about her. I have a date tomorrow night with the other textiles girl idr if I wrote about her, but she’s cute, going to ncsu. “allergic to smoke” lol I told her I quit. (I mean I had that day before but I lied and said I did two weeks ago hahah goddamn I’m kind of a twat maybe.) Also actually got cucked by smokeahontas. It was like a situation that was too good to be true though, to be fair. She didn’t have anything to do yesterday night and wanted to hang out; when I told her I was stuck at work and said she should just smoke with me in the morning she said she actually wanted to and would stay up all night to meet up with me when I got off. Ofc she fell asleep, and when she woke up she said she wanted to go back to bed, so I flippantly said “well you could always sleep over here.” and surprisingly enough she said she was actually game for that, so our smoke and horror movie date turned into a naptime date. But an hour passed while I was eating breakfast and in the shower so I was like ‘wtf is up’ and she said she got sick and threw up. Figured I was super cucked once more by another flaker, kind of a bummed out, but not as bummed as after the dates with Jaime and Bri both went so poorly lol. Just happily told her we can try again another time, and now she’s saying she wants to do the same plan for tomorrow morning. 

So There. Is. The potential for me to get laid twice tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I haven’t told anyone that I remade plans with her though. RIGHT after I told some friends about how the nap date got planned out she said she was sick. I FUCKING swear that every time I brag about one of my dates I have lined up it falls the fuck through the floor. So I’m gonna try to never do it again. 

Then there’s this other theatre major girl I started talking to yesterday. Talked about horoscopes and transitioned from talking feminism to her (woke as fuck teens smh) into asking if she ate ass (jokingly) into asking if she wanted to hang. Turns out she’s actually a really cool super geeky chick and I’m really excited to spend time with her since she wants to show me jurassic park for the first time and learn how to play melee. Kinda weird that she’s only 18 still though O.o oh you, tyler. 

SO yeah. That’s the sitch with that. Went from supppper fucking bummed a couple days ago about my dating situation into thinking that I’m the shit again. I think I want to establish that “i’m the best” mentality once again. Because I really am. I’m fucking amazing lmao. 

Ultimately though, I’m still getting cucked left and right and I have little to no faith that I’ll find anybody I actually care about ever again but we’ll see yknow. I think that’s the strats to how I fell in love last time anyway.

hmmm. what else is there... Work in burlington is still super shitty, my commute went from an hour to like an hour and forty minutes today bc people in NC can’t drive through a little bit of fucking drizzling. 

Idk that’s about all I’ve got. Next week’s lake week so gonna have to work again in a few days after some date shenanigans and hopefully I’ve got some more good stories and shit.