#welp. it's been an honor everyone o7

[hopepetal]

Well... here it is. The epilogue of my boatem knights au fic! I have a few things to say/thanks to give before we move on to the actual fic.

This is my most popular series ever. Over the course of writing this I have learned so much, gained so many new friends, and had some of the best experiences of my life. I have been treated with such kindness and enthusiasm from the community that I have never gotten in any other community I have been in before, and it's blown me away. You all are the reason I continued writing, even as my life became hectic and my schedule became packed.

I'd like to give thanks to @applestruda for creating this au and letting me write this fic. Bee, you are amazing. I always get so excited whenever I see you around, and your ideas are so, so cool. You are so amazing and kind and you deserve all the kindness in the world. Love you Bee <3

Next, @stiffyck. Where would I be without you? I have been yelling at you in dms for the longest time, and you always match my enthusiasm, yelling right back at twice the volume. You are so fun to bounce ideas off of, and it's always great to meet people you mesh well with. Thank you for being such an avid supporter <3

And @beeboppo, because seeing your little phone drawings in my inbox always make my day. You are so funny and kind and I'm so happy I get to know you. Creating things with you is always so fun, and you always have so many ideas and thoughts. Much love <3 I appreciate you

Alright!! Now onto the fic!!

Masterlist

Scar woke slowly from a deep darkness that weighed him down, slowing his movements and his thoughts. Yawning, he brought his hands up to rub his face with his eyes still closed, stretching his arms above his head before finally opening his eyes. The first thing he noticed was Grian, sitting in a chair next to his bed. It seemed like the avian had fallen asleep on the side of Scar’s bed, resting his head on his arms as he snored softly. 

As Scar blinked away the last tendrils of sleep, trying to reorient himself, he began to feel all the aches and pains that he associated with the day after an extreme workout. He felt like he had run five miles in a full on sprint, exhaustion weighing his limbs down along with the painful soreness that pulsed in his entire body. Gazing around the room, he noticed the large window next to his bed that allowed sunlight to stream in. Judging by the light level, it was almost sundown.

Glancing down, Scar noticed that he had bandages wrapped around his arms and judging by the feel, around his neck as well. He recalled how one of their captors- gosh, he had already forgotten their names- had held a sword to his throat in order to threaten him. That had led to Scar going feral and-

He inhaled sharply, hands clenching into fists as memories came crashing into him like a tidal wave. He recalled the taste of blood, the endless rage that had pushed him to brutally slaughter those who had dared to hurt him and his friend. He remembered the screams, the sounds of death all around him, and then the faint sound of Grian’s voice calling out to him through the rage that had consumed him.

A soft mumble pulled Scar out of his thoughts, and he glanced down to see Grian shift before slowly blinking his eyes open. Light brown curls fell in front of his dark eyes as the avian slowly sat up, yawning. Scar noticed how he had changed into a comfortable red shirt and grey pants, an improvement from those scratchy green robes they had been forced to wear by that stupid mercenary. “You pull that off a lot better than you do the half naked and dying look, I think,” he joked, his voice quiet and rasping from disuse. 

A sleepy smile broke out on Grian’s face, though his eyes were filled with a sad kind of gentleness. “Hi, Scar.” He reached out to take Scar’s hand in his own, a hurt expression briefly flashing across his face when the other jerked away before he carefully put up a front of unbothered neutrality. “How are you feeling?”

Scar immediately began mentally cursing himself upon seeing Grian’s hurt expression. He hadn’t meant to reject the other knight so harshly, but he had been worried that he’d hurt Grian by accident, again. Nevertheless, he gave Grian a bright smile, trying to cover up those pesky emotions. “You know, my good man, I could be better! But hey, I'm here, I'm awake, it's a beautiful day, so there's that!” Oh, he was so trying to dodge the question. And Grian absolutely knew this, Scar could tell by the slight furrow in his brow. 

Grian stood, and for a moment Scar was afraid that he had really goofed it now, that Grian was going to leave and never return, but all the avian said was, “I’m going to go tell the others you’re awake.” He began to walk to the door before turning back briefly, hand on the doorframe. “Are you okay with that?”

Scar nodded, and watched as Grian slipped out of the room. He barely had any time to get lost in thought before Grian walked back in, followed by Mumbo, Impulse, and Pearl. Immediately, Mumbo and Impulse began to scold him with all the air of two worried fathers, while Grian and Pearl watched from a little behind the two. It was pretty obvious that Mumbo was crying, despite the man arguing that he was not, there was just something in his eyes, he was absolutely not full on sobbing. Scar kept insisting that he was alright, sending glances toward Pearl and Grian every so often in a cry for help, only getting smirks in return. Traitors…

Once Impulse and Mumbo were finished going full-on dad mode, Pearl stepped forward and took the seat Grian had previously been sitting in. “You alright to give us a moment alone, boys?” she asked, and with a soft murmur of agreement the other three knights left the room, Grian hesitating for a moment before following and closing the door behind him. Once they had all left the room, Pearl sighed. The smile on her face dropped as she leaned forward, hands clasped in her lap. “Scar,” she began, “you are one of the strongest people I know.”

Scar chuckled slightly, trying to ward off the tension that had grown in the room from the sudden mood shift. “Thanks. Still haven’t beaten you at arm wrestling, though.” The attempt at humor was mostly to relieve that pressure in his chest brought on by anxiety.

Pearl cracked a smile. “That’s not what I meant, you goof.” Back to the more serious tone. “You are strong, Scar. You let yourself get captured.” She sat back, sighing quietly. “Why?”

Scar felt his heart sink, feeling as though there was a pit in his stomach. He turned his head away, trying to avoid eye contact. “I…” his voice cracked, and with it, his constitution crumbled. He couldn’t lie to Pearl. No one could. With a trembling voice and hands, he continued. “I hurt Grian. I hurt him really badly because of my- because of my stupid vex form and those stupid vex instincts and then if that wasn’t bad enough I went and got us both kidnapped-”

“Hey.” Pearl cut him off, placing a hand on his arm. “Do you wanna know something about me that I haven’t told anyone else here?” She gave Scar a tight smile, something akin to regret in her eyes. “I’ve hurt Grian before.”

Scar couldn’t help it. His eyes widened in shock. Pearl clearly noticed, because she let out a soft laugh. “Yeah. Stabbed him with a sword. We were young and sparring, and, well, I underestimated my own strength. He has a scar on his leg from the incident.” She sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I felt terrible when it happened. Swore to never pick up a sword again, can you imagine?” She gave Scar a wry smile, and Scar found that he couldn't imagine that. Pearl as anything but a knight was just... not possible. “Right? You see what I’m talking about. Eventually, Grian beat some sense into me. Not literally,” she clarified, seeing the look on Scar’s face, “I mean that he talked to me. We spoke about everything and worked it out. And now here we are.”

“Here we are,” Scar echoed faintly, his voice sounding far away. He wondered if things could really be the same for him and Grian. After all, not only had he almost killed the avian, but he had also gotten them both kidnapped, sick, and humiliated. Surely there was a difference. He really doubted his mistakes could be fixed with a little chit-chat.

“Hey.” Pearl interrupted, shaking Scar out of his spiraling thoughts, “I know what's going on in there.” She tapped her head with a finger, smiling gently. “I’ve been there before. Tell you what- how about I go get Grian back in here and we talk. Does that sound good?”

Scar nodded wordlessly, worried that if he answered the tears he was holding back would spill over. He didn’t deserve to cry or feel bad for himself. He was the one at fault here, he was the one holding everyone back. Noticing Pearl had left the room, Scar began to really panic. Oh gosh, what if Grian hated him? What if, what if-

Pearl reentered the room, pulling Grian along with her. Scar snapped out of his thoughts once more as Grian pulled up a second chair and sat down in it, Pearl sitting next to him. Grian was smiling at him, Scar noted, and bitterly wondered what he had done to deserve it. 

Pearl clapped her hands together, startling Scar. He laughed and put his hands over his heart as though he had been actually terrified. “Right- sorry Scar- time to talk!”

And before he knew it, Scar was rambling, avoiding eye contact with Grian at all costs. “I know it's all my fault and I'm so incredibly sorry, I know you must be furious at me because I didn't only hurt you but I got us kidnapped too and they almost took your wings and it was so humiliating and then-”

“Scar.”

“And I understand if you want to kick me out from the knights I don't deserve it anyway and I'm so sorry that I was a burden and-”

“Scar.”

“-I'm sorry you've had to put up with me for so long and-”

“SCAR!”

Scar shut up.

Grian reached out and carefully took one of Scar’s hands in his own, as though he were afraid Scar was going to pull away again. Tenderly, he stroked the back of Scar’s hand with his thumb, smiling softly. “You made a mistake, Scar,” he admitted gently, eyes sorrowful. 

Scar’s heart dropped into his stomach, and he looked away. This was it then. The moment where he got kicked out of the knights, out of the only family he had known for the longest time. It had been amazing while it had lasted, at least…

Grian continued. “That mistake was pushing us away when you needed us the most.”

Scar froze, looking up at Grian. Green eyes met dark ones, both shining with held back tears. “What?” he whispered, afraid of being too loud.

“Scar…” Grian gazed at him, and his eyes were every part compassion and love. “I forgive you.”

The dam broke. 

Scar let out a heartbreaking wail, the tears beginning to flow as he sobbed. He felt himself pull Grian close, hugging him tightly and gasping out ‘thank you’s in between sobs. Grian’s arms wrapped around him, offering a comfort he had so desperately longed for during the past few days. 

Later, Scar would follow Pearl and Grian out of the small room, eyes red and puffy but with a small smile on his face. They would all talk and laugh, before heading outside to spend the night under the stars, swapping tales and singing songs. Scar would be surrounded by his friends and their love for him, and would fall asleep long after the sound of crickets became the loudest thing around.

But for now, Scar would cry, and that was okay.

#my writing #boatem knights au #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft au #boatem fanfic #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #scar #grian #pearlescentmoon #pearl #mumbo jumbo #impulse #angst #hurt/comfort #welp. it's been an honor everyone o7 #i'm so sad it's over gjfgh #this series is my baby

[bookwyrminspiration]

I have a rant about my spanish class and you are the linguistics person I follow so. thought you'd be interested to hear!

I hate my spanish class! and it sucks because I love language learning and I love spanish itself, but I can't enjoy the way it's taught. I'm in high school, and in my grade it's required to take a language class unless you have a special exception. I specifically chose to take honors spanish because I thought my classmates would also love spanish. and they don't at all.

half the class still pronounces the silent h, and this is our 3rd year taking spanish. we had to devote so much class time to learning not to say "yo gusta" that could have been spent on other stuff.

the spanish teachers in my school never communicate and it's so frustrating because everyone has been taught different things. I didn't even know the conditional verb tense existed. aughhhghhghhghh. had to say it to someone. hope you enjoyed the rant

Moment of silence for you, Nonsie, it always sucks when you're passionate about something and surrounded by people who don't care. And their not caring impacts what you're able to do. So much of learning is the environment and people around you, and you have! Like zero control over that! and it's worse (in my experience) in middle-high school because everyone's required to be there. so people who don't care for school (i understand traditional schooling and academics aren't for everyone, this isn't anything against that) can make it miserable for others

and especially with language learning, there's so much variety in the level of knowledge people have and retain. people have different vocabularies, use different syntax and diction--often more specific to their life, so that's another hurdle at times. I remember watching each others' videos in my ASL classes and a classmate would repeatedly use a sign and I'd just be like. I have no clue what that means. turns out it was hiking, which she remembered because she was a hiker. meanwhile I was using signs for different languages (spanish, french, etc) that no one else knew because those were languages relevant to me specifically, so I'd paid attention to remember them.

"yo gusta" is especially painful, though. that's like spanish 101. and good luck with the conditional tense. god it frustrates me. you reach a certain stage in language learning where it becomes like. so much harder to learn because it gets so specific, and it also gets so much harder to find study materials so you're like. welp guess I'll die. and classes aren't always a guarantee to help because of situations like yours where you get caught up in other things. not to mention the stress of grades when you're in a class vs studying on your own for fun.

wishing you the best of luck and heaps of success in your spanish class, soldier o7 amar (por la lengua) sin padecer no puede ser and all that

#language learning #quil's queries #nonsie #also you're right I'm always interested in hearing and talking about language and language learning :) #another semester of nahuatI coming up! i am. nervous #it'll be fine but also. woof. language