#we spent so much money on getting paperwork printed out and he literally only needed one thing?? white american privilege is so real
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the ethics of being a sugar baby (stevetony, rated T, 1.8k)
At first, Steve doesn’t even notice.
In his defense, he’s had much more important things on his mind. Namely, Tony’s chest and immediate access to it.
Later, he’ll look back on all of these nights and call himself stupid, clumsy, too caught up in the scrape of Tony’s beard against his chin and Tony’s hands in his hair to care about anything else. The catalyst for his realization is, admittedly, quite small. It’s something Tony says to him, after they’ve worn themselves out and collapsed onto sweat-damp sheets.
“God, you’re gonna make me replace my whole wardrobe at this rate. Not that I mind, of course…” Tony trails off as he turns to him and runs his fingers lovingly down Steve’s bare chest, which is covered in rapidly-fading bitemarks.
That pulls Steve out of the hazy, post-coital space he’d been floating in. He wraps his arm around Tony’s waist, pulls him ever-so-slightly closer.
“What do you mean, replace your whole wardrobe?”
Tony huffs out a laugh as he turns back around, once again becoming the little spoon. “Come on, you’ve seen what you do to all of my shirts. Look at the one on the floor! Completely shredded, you animal,” he says, kicking the blanket off the bed and making himself comfortable against Steve’s body.
Steve tenses up, then, blood running cold. Logically, he knows that Tony has money. He knows that Tony can get more shirts. He knows that this is the future, and Tony doesn’t have to stitch up his shirts with a thread and needle anymore. He knows, he knows, he knows…
Tony elbows him in the abdomen.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“We have been over this, Steven, I am not--”
“--you are not a stress ball, stop squeezing you, yes dear, whatever you say sweetheart.” Steve rolls his eyes at Tony’s theatrics, mouth turning up at the corners despite himself.
Tony exhales in a pattern that could be construed as a laugh. “Go to bed or I’ll sell all of my lingerie.”
Steve, knowing from experience to just drop the argument, lets his eyes fall shut as he tries not to think about how much he’s cost Tony.
***
Steve is nothing if not an expert at shoving down his feelings until they boil over like a lidded pot. As such, the next time he really pays much attention to this thing of his is when Tony drags him to go clothes shopping a few days later.
He doesn’t enjoy the errand much, but Tony had been extra persuasive, with kisses along the back of Steve’s neck, that evil little man, he knows that’s where Steve is ticklish, promises of “it’ll be fun! We never go out anymore, baby, we’re so busy, spend some time with me,” and wide, pleading brown eyes, and Steve didn’t have the heart to say no.
Tony takes him to the corner of 30th street and 10th avenue, into a store he actually recognizes. It’s bigger, brighter, and like everything in the future, very “Tony,” but he remembers his mother’s Neiman Marcus Company catalogs with their pages and pages of factory-made clothes, that year’s new hooverette [x] circled in red.
Of course, the two of them aren’t going to look at house dresses. They probably don’t even make house dresses or corselets [x] anymore, thinks Steve, and even if they did, Tony wouldn’t want to wear them and-- Steve stops himself before he can think about Tony in garters anymore. They’re in public, for God’s sake.
Tony pulls him aside to the shirt racks, hands him a few dozen button ups, and ushers him into the dressing rooms. The silk feels so smooth, catching in places against the calluses on his hands, almost too perfect to be held by him.
A small, guilty feeling in his gut tells him to check the price, but the selfish part of him, the one that wants to enjoy every aspect of being Tony Stark’s latest project, ignores it.
No, instead Steve lets Tony dress him up like his own personal fashion model, and laughs when he puts together the most atrocious eyesore of an outfit in the world [x]. The bright red fedora clashes horribly with the crystal-covered shoes, and Tony had pulled on zebra-print boxers to go with the cheetah-print shirt, telling him “it’s not like anyone who wears these boxers is gonna be concerned with pants.”
Tony drags him out of the store after a couple of hours, after wheedling him into getting another few suits and some shoes, with promises that they’ll go get them tailored for Steve’s shoulders and legs. He thinks about how his old Captain America costume always left him chafed red around his pecs and on the inside of his thighs, and tries to not blush at how off-handedly considerate Tony can be sometimes.
After they get back to the tower, Steve collapses into bed, exhausted from their day out. As he drifts off, the guilt comes back, this time with a vengeance.
Neiman Marcus is obviously a pricey store. Tony must have spent thousands on you today, and you don’t even have the decency to do something in return for him? To even offer to pay him back? You’re so selfish. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Steve lies awake and focuses heavily on his breathing, wills his heart rate to go down, and promises himself he’ll be brave about his emotions tomorrow.
***
That morning, he wakes up like he’s going into a warzone. In a way, he is; entering Tony Stark’s bedroom, uninvited, to snoop around? Terrifying.
Tony is already long gone by the time Steve gets to his floor and creeps his way into the suite. The guilt makes a reappearance even as he asks JARVIS to unlock Tony’s bedroom door, his thoughts all converging on Tony’s even paying for you now. He took a day off yesterday to spend time with you, time he could have used to work on his SI projects, or the mountain of SHIELD paperwork that’s piled up lately, or anything except waste a day at a goddamn department store--
He shakes his head, tries to reassure himself with the knowledge that Tony wanted to go out with him, he wanted to spend time with him, that’s why he asked, but his heart won’t stop beating, oh God, he’s going to die at the doorway of Tony’s walk-in closet--
“Steve? What are you doing?”
He turns his head towards Tony’s voice, and now, of course, is when the second wave of panic and self-loathing hits, taking a nosedive into now Tony knows exactly how weak you are, he had to leave his job to check on you, and he tries to open his mouth, to explain himself, but all that comes out is a strangled noise as his knees threaten to give out.
Tony looks-- he looks worried, not angry. That’s not good. Steve can deal with anger, he knows how anger works. He’s not prepared for pity or concern. And that’s why he does the worst thing he could possibly do when literally backed into a corner: he lies to Tony’s face.
“Nothing. I’m fine. I just… I missed you, this morning.”
Tony’s smarter than that, he’s always been able to see through Steve, so of course he calls him on it. “Uh huh, I missed you too, now tell me what’s going on.” He punctuates this with an eye-roll and an outstretched hand to pull Steve towards his bed.
They sit on the edge of the bed in silence for a few minutes, Steve too stubborn to talk, until Tony can’t stand it anymore.
“You know, I really don’t appreciate having my intelligence questioned, Steven Grant. It’s very unattractive. Here I was thinking that nothing you did could be unattractive and yet, you managed to prove me wrong.” Tony gives him a slight smile, obviously trying to lighten the mood.
Well, Steve might as well get it over with. Rip off the proverbial band-aid.
“How much do I cost you?”
That makes Tony stop smiling.
“How much do you cost me? What’s gotten into you?”
“I just- you said that I’m making you replace your wardrobe because I keep destroying your shirts, and they’re so expensive, and you buy me so many nice things and I’ve never offered to pay you back, and I don’t even know if I could pay you back because I don’t even have a real job, I’m useless and you deserve someone better than me--” Steve realizes, vaguely, that he’s getting more and more choked up, and that there are tears threatening to spill.
Tony pulls Steve close, lets him rest his head against his shoulder, which feels safer than it should.
“Is this all because of what I said in bed a few nights ago?”
Steve means to say yes, but it comes out as a wounded-sounding whimper.
“Oh, honey, you know you don’t need to worry about that. What’s the point of sleeping with a billionaire if you don’t get to be a sugar baby?” Tony’s running a hand through his hair now, and it does a lot in the way of calming Steve down.
“But I shouldn’t be a… a sunk cost for you! That’s wrong, I’m taking advantage.”
Tony sighs at him, then, and pulls Steve’s head up to face him. “Look at me, you’re not taking advantage. I know what that feels like.”
Steve makes an indignant noise at that, because how dare someone try to take advantage of Tony, which makes Tony poke his nose and say, “Hey, do not interrupt me when I’m trying to have a heartfelt discussion with you! We can talk about my tragic love life later, but let it be said that I, of all people, would know what it feels like to know that someone is only with you for the money.”
When Steve doesn’t respond, just stares at Tony with bright eyes, Tony continues. “I love spoiling you. I love taking you out around town like you’re Vivian Ward and I’m Edward Lewis.”
“I don’t understand that reference.” Steve feels his eyebrows knitting together in confusion, a familiar feeling when he’s around Tony.
“Have I not shown you Pretty Woman? You’ll love it.”
“Do you really mean it? You don’t, you know, think I’m selfish? For being like this? For not, uh, contributing?” Steve is just fishing for additional reassurance at this point; he’s done being brave about his emotions for the
Tony smiles in full force, then, and moves to sit on Steve’s lap. “Oh, I’ll show you one way you can contribute. Take off your shirt.”
Steve does.
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The Dutch Room - Chapter 4
Find all chapters here!
“Did you solve your problem yet?” Johnny asked and fell into the armchair.
His boss sat on the other side of the office, hunched over a remarkable stack of paperwork. “Problem?” He asked without looking up.
“The … uh … thing that came up a few weeks ago.” Johnny said carefully, not sure if he really forgot about the incident.
“Oh, so you’re not talking about yourself.” One could hear Jaehyun’s smile even if it wasn’t visible. Especially if one’s name was Johnny.
“Why would I refer to myself as a problem?”
“Because you always show up when I'm busy and steal my time.”
“By doing what?”
“By talking to me and not working like everyone else.” He said and finally looked up from his paperwork, smiling.
Johnny sighed. “You suck real bad. Did you know that?”
“I’ve been told, yeah. Honestly tho, what problem are you talking about? There are so many lately.”
Jaehyun leaned back in his chair, crossed his fingers behind his head and put his feet up, looking at his oldest friend.
“The one that dropped dead on your floor.” Johnny scoffed and yawned. Once again it was one of those days they were working late, which basically described every other day in their field of work.
Every single one of them had spent at least a few nights in their office, which is why they all kept travel kits at their desks somewhere.
“Oh.” Jaehyun said and his relatively good mood faded within seconds. “That one.”
“I assume it is as always more serious than you’re telling us right?”
“I don’t need to tell you how serious it is. Everyone working here is qualified enough to know that for themselves. And if they don’t I should consider replacing them. But yes, it is gravely serious. It could ruin the entire project.”
“And I assume you found a solution?”
Jaehyun nodded and took down his hands, resting them on his core.
“I did. And I will schedule a meeting as soon as it is set in stone.”
“As always. I’m here now so why don’t you walk me through it?” Johnny offered casually while playing around with the end of his tie.
“I’m really busy …”
Johnny snorted. “Dude, I don’t care. I haven’t talked to you in ages about work let alone anything non-work related. And if business talk is the only talk I get these days I will take whatever you got.”
“Fine. The solution we came up with involves Taeil.”
Johnny suddenly sat up straight in the armchair and looked at his friend in a very confused way.
“Taeil? I thought you decided against using the hostesses.”
“True. We won’t use BARbara. But Taeil is the one who came up with the back-up plan.”
Jaehyun paused to lean forward, leafing through his calendar looking for a specific event.
“On the uh … 4th he’s meeting with the owner of a few high class restaurants. Something japanese. To be honest I neither met the guy yet nor have I heard about his restaurants but Taeil apparently knows him for quite some time and I trust him. After they meet up and where he introduces him to the idea, we will schedule another meeting in which we discuss the specifics.”
“I thought you don’t want to involve more people than necessary? Why are you suddenly considering working with someone you don’t know? This seems chancy.”
“Because”, he began and groaned. “the original plan was the most irresponsible imbecile I’ve met in my career so far and whoever Taeil is talking to in two weeks can’t be worse. I don’t know if you noticed but we don’t have that much time left. And I told all of you before that we’re only doing it if we find a way to clean the money.”
“You did tell us that. Several times. But we always reassured you that we would do it even if you don’t know how to launder the money beforehand. Because we trust you.”
Jaehyun sighed and rested his head in the palms of his hands. “You shouldn’t tho.”
The other shrugged and got up. “We know. But we do against your better judgement.”
“You’re going home?” Jaehyun looked at him in surprise.
“What? No.” He chuckled. “I’m working late, boss. As always.”
***
“Someone home?” Johnny stuck the head through the door as he opened it carefully.
“Come on in!” Song shouted from the back of the studio, her voice weirdly muffled.
So he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, looking around for her but couldn’t find her.
The studio didn’t change much since the last time he visited. The dishes were clean and put up to dry, right next to it was a small stash of toiletries.
Everything looked fine and even more in order than Haechan’s cubicle so why did Jaehyun want him to come up here and check on her? And besides, why didn’t he just do it himself?
He shuffled across the room to take a closer look at the easel and the prints that were spread out on the huge wobbly table alongside with a variety of … ingredients and colors. The canvas was smudged with a mix of brown and green tones.
By this point of progress Johnny wasn’t able to see any resemblance or how the hell this would turn into what was on the prints.
“Oh. It’f you.”
Hearing her voice behind him he turned around to see Song in sweatpants and some threadborne sweatshirt. Just now he realized how late it must have been once again, since Song was brushing her teeth and didn’t bother to take out the toothbrush while talking to him.
“If I knew y’all would take the ‘come by anytime’ fo literally I wouldn’t have faid it.”
“Did someone else come by?”
She nodded and walked over to spit out toothpaste and put away the toothbrush. “Yeah. Haechan came to see me the day before yesterday. And Doyoung yesterday.”
“What did he want?” Johnny asked a little bit too hastily which made her turn around.
“Who?”
“Doyoung.”
The conversation forming between them was clipped and terse but not at all in an uncomfortable way.
“He brought the prints.” She said pointing at the table. “It’s a really good quality and very clean. You can literally see every little detail on it. Did you have a look?”
“Yeah, I did just now. Why was Haechan here?”
Since they were still standing around all dressed up and with nowhere to go, Song just walked over to the sofa and dropped down on it, grabbing a pillow to hold in her arms.
“Nothing too important. He just wanted to know how I am doing. Speaking for what reasons people are showing up here all the time: Why did you come?”
He pulled up the stool she was using to sit on while painting and sat across from her, one arm resting on the table and shrugged.
“Same reason. Just wanted to say ‘hi’.”
“Well, you did that. Something else?”
Johnny chuckled more to himself than to Song. Why wasn’t he able to figure her out? Since she was employed he caught himself wondering what the hell she was doing here and how she ended up being their coworker.
“Have you ever sat one foot on our floor?” He asked trying to change the topic but Song was quick.
She thought for a moment leaning her head to one side, then shaking it. “Why would I? Everyone is coming upstairs anyways. I don’t really have to leave this place.”
“Touche.”
Silence settled between them during which Song scanned the man carefully and Johnny tried to not curse himself for coming here. Nice gestures never were a thing at this company so why did he thought it would be a good idea to start being nice?
Right. He though. It was about what Doyoung said and how right he turned out to be. The girl … woman sitting across from him didn’t really fit in with all of them. And even though he corrected his thoughts from girl to woman he couldn’t deny that there certainly was something fairly young about her. She definitely looked her age and she probably had both whit and sass but … something didn’t add up.
“Do you want to drink? Something?” Song suddenly asked and got up.
Johnny jumped to his feet as well and gladly said: “Yes, please!”
***
Song chucked the last sip of wine and lowered her glass. Johnny reached for it to replenish her drink for the fourth time but she quickly covered with both hands.
“No no no, I’m good.” She laughed.
They both sat in front of the sofa, legs crossed and leaning against it. He had no idea of how long they had been sitting together like this but two hours probably already had passed since he got here.
“Are you sure?” He asked sliding the bottle of white wine back into the cooler.
“Yes. Absolutely. This is actually way more than I usually have. If you have questions you only want honest answers to: Ask them now.” She stated jokingly and waved away her sobriety.
Johnny laughed. “Okay, let me think.”
When he wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds she turned her head to look at him and found him actually thinking about what he wanted to ask her.
Song curiously and patiently waited for him to ask:
“What do you think of Panoma?”
Their eyes met and she could see how serious his question was. He really wanted her honest opinion about the company and/or the people working here.
“Well”, Song began but hesitated. “about the people or more about the entire thing?”
“Whatever you want.”
She sighed. “To be honest: I don’t think this is for me.”
Johnny’s eyes widened at an answer he didn’t expect at all. “What does that mean?”
“See, I feel like you all know each other so well. Yeah, sure I am the new one and y’all don’t know me and we don’t have a history but I am not sure if we will get along well eventually. And this is just the case for getting along well. Not exceptionally well or being a great team. Whatever that involves.”
He put down his wine glass ready to give her his unshared attention. This seemed to have bothered her for a while. “What exactly makes you think that?��
“This might sound weird but … to me you all seem like criminals.”
“You aren’t exactly whitecollar either. I chose your file out of 20 others because I like to think of you as someone who screws people over twice. First time by forging art and replacing it and the second time when you keep the original to yourself.”
“But compared to you that’s nothing.” She said, using one the one hand that wasn’t still holding the empty glass to empathize the arguments. “You are professional criminals. Working in a company devoted to launder money and steal shit. This is organized crime. What I do … every art-school graduate could do it. It all comes down to very basic things.”
Johnny sighed. “What makes you think you don’t fit in?”
She sat on her knees, putting aside the glass she was holding up until this moment and looked him directly into the eyes.
“I don’t know? Jaehyun is super scary and June is so … flawless? Doyoung seems a bit odd and I don’t know what to think of you but you are professionals. You work in an office, wear ties and suits, do paperwork, crunch numbers, have desks with files on them.”
“Is that how you define professionalism? That we appear to be harmless office employees but aren’t?”
Song nodded quietly.
“Under the pretext of commonplace?”
“Yes.”
There she was again. The girl Song that seemed so innocent and harmless as if she couldn’t hurt nobody and has no criminal record. As if they were two different personalities sharing one shell.
Johnny chuckled and suddenly the dramatic tension that had built up in the studio imploded and disappeared.
“I don’t mean to offend you personally but that’s very naive of you to think. Romanticizing our field of work is what writers do. And I have to ask you to neither put June nor Jaehyun on a pedestal because those two ain’t perfect. Also they’re not the cold and calculating professionals you think they are. “
He saw her face and immediately backtracked. “Don’t get me wrong: Both are evil masterminds and exceptionally at their jobs. But they have their flaws.” He leaned back. “Did you hear about Lucas?”
“Who’s that?”
“He used to work here before we hired you.”
“Why past tense?”
“He … quit. That aside: Lucas and June had an affair that was going on for quite a while if I remember correctly.”
Song gasped and choked. All Johnny did was laughing at her gasping which made things worse.
“Does everyone know?” She asked after catching her breath and being pat on the back by Johnny.
“I’m not sure but I assume at least Haechan does know. Nothing really goes past him. If you want to know things in the future I suggest you ask him.”
He returned to the semi serious attitude he had about himself for the entire evening as he said: “But my point is: Even though I don’t know if there were feelings involved or what exactly their arrangement was, it is what it is. An affair between two coworkers. And if that’s not the epitome of non-professionalism - I don’t know what is.“
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Oops. I just spent like. Literal hours making a powerpoint and am not starting my post until almost 10pm.But I got it in my head I should make this sort of document about art. And its not even nearly done at almost 100 slides. It feels nice to be able to focus on something. I am glad that feels like it is changing a little.
I had a pretty chill day though. I didnt sleep great. I just couldnt turn my brain off last night. But I felt okay this morning. I got dress, and got ready to go. James helped me carry the big of scrap fabric to the car. I was a little nervous because we needed air in our tires. But it was fine and I had a good drive in.
I finally got over my stupid fear of parking at the office and was glad I did. I went to talk to the nurse and let her know I had coughed a few times last night but then I didnt cough at all at work all day, just upset myself with worry that my chest hurt. We both think its from the air conditioner so I am glad it is getting a little cooler out.
I am in charge of theme projects this week. So I had Heather print out the example pictures I came up with and had everyone today do the project that they didnt need any supplies for, which was using nature to create pictures. And then spent a lot of the morning getting boxes ready for each group for the other projects. I hope it works out for them all.
I only have one class a day though now. I have other tasks but it does make my life a little quieter. My group was awesome though and I am so super pleased.
This week I planned for weaving but then at the lat minute I was like. Sewing. Let's get the kids on this sewing machine since I fixed it and understand how to get it going. I got all the scrap fabrics that seemed like good sizes and put them on the one table, while I set up bracelet making on the others.
When Rachel's group came it was excellent because they got to see what each part of the sewing machine was and I talked them through that. Then they went and cut fabric to fit on a square. Well Rachel and me cut the fabrics but then they would come inside and I would sit with them individually and they would sew them together. I pushed the foot pedal and they fed the machine. And they all did so good!! Which is a pun!!! I had some issues with the machine but then the kid who I was with just got to see how I fix it and that was a good conversation. And when they were all done I laid their pieces out to be a little quilt and I was just so pleased.
I cleaned up and had lunch. Sat at the office for a little. And then I went to go run trading post. Kristan helped me because I didnt know how we normally do it. But it went well and smoothly. I liked being able to say hi to all the kids.
But then I had to close up and had one of the guys help me because I couldnt reach the latch, had some laughs with the girls, and then headed back to the art building.
I laid in the hammock and enjoyed the little rain that was coming down. It was light mostly, but it would pick up and I would put away the hammocks. I left my one out and put up the blanket tarp. But I was really cold and so I was wrapped in my fleece blanket thing. Listened to a podcast. It was nice. Calm.
I went up to the office to offer some help though. Since I had so much time. I was tasked with some paperwork for trading post. Sorting money and making a better log. It took a while actually but I was done before 3 and went to go hang out and just enjoy my time.
I laid around for a while but by 4 I was in the art shed cutting string for tomorrow and making sure I was all set up. And then it was basically time to go.
I went back to the office. Hung out on the porch. Helped with pick up. And then Heather told me I could head out.
I left and was very pleased to be on my way home. I was chilly. I wish I hadnt worn shorts today but I couldnt have known how chilly it was going to get. Watch Im going to wear long pants tomorrow and be miserably hot.
I got home and was happy to see James. He was making pizza. And green beans. A fancy Taney dinner. I also asked for watermelon and stuffing. Because I was cold and stuffing makes me warm.
We hung out in the living room. And once dinner was done he headed out to put air in our tires and get gas. While I got it in my head I needed to start this powerpoint.
And that is what I did. I am mostly in outline phase. But I have some images and some words. I am excited to have put this together and I hope to show you all sometime soon.
Now though I am tired and I am going to wash my face and I hope you all have a great night tonight. Take care of yourselves and have a good day tomorrow!!
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HAPPY SEPTEMPTER!
Hi guys! Just wanted to share an update, a bit of the work I’ve been doing for the past couple of days, and what I have planned to do for the upcoming holiday on Monday!
So first semester started, and I have officially completed my second week of Sophomore year! My classes are nice, but I’ve been having a bit of trouble with my online classes, which I can talk about later! Even though I only have two on-campus classes, I am taking 14 credits, so I’m very busy with schoolwork most of the time. Below I’ll start with a summary of my classes and how they’re going! I’ll then talk about my past and future work. Keep in mind this post is gonna be kinda lengthy so if that’s not your thing, probably don’t click below lol.
So, starting from my first class of the week every week! Human Relations.
To start off - my Human Relations class has a lot of notes. We take notes every class - which I like - but we haven’t really done any actual assignments. We did have a quiz over our book’s second chapter (that I missed because I mixed up a holiday and didn’t go to class - I’m dumb lmao) and we watch video clips, but there hasn’t been a big assignment or anything yet which I’m grateful for.
We do this thing in the class called a reading where we talk about a certain celebrity in a given book and what they have to say about surviving college / advice they have altogether, and I really like the vibe it brings to the class. We are going through each student and doing one every class, and it’s a really nice way to start class every day. We all discuss the advice and give our input, which I think is a good way to get everyone involved.
Over all the class is a bit slow as of late, but discussions make it worth it for sure. I’m excited to see what’s to come with this class!
Next is my Digital Communications class!
This class is entirely online, so we do weekly modules and have until Friday of that week to finish all the work, and it’s all very in-depth assignments. Videos, discussion boards, and quizzes are all major parts of our grades for this class. I love all the feedback and discussions we have over certain topics in this class, because it really opens you up and makes you see other’s POV on things!
It’s a very modern class, and I feel like I’m learning about things happening now in real time (just last week I learned about AI Cars and computers that mimic brain activity to work more efficiently) and it’s something I feel is really important when it comes to digital themed classes! Technology is moving fast, so it’s important we keep up.
Just this last week we learned about viral video trends and the era of “The YouTubers / Online Influencers” and it was so interesting! If anyone is interested in the video (which also talks about YouTube’s history and is a really educational video at its core) I will link it here: Viral Video : YouTube Marketing.
If I’m not using an online website to complete an assignment (just last week I had to look up my name and relatives names to see just how easy it is to find people’s information online), I’m usually writing a long reply to a video for a grade, or responding to other student’s replies for a grade as well. Even though it’s a grade it’s all very open and doesn’t feel too grade-ish. We all have great discussions.
The next class I’m not too fond of, just because I slept my way through high school Algebra, is of course: Algebra. Paired with the sleeping and my state just not caring about our education at all in the past, Algebra is really difficult for me this year. I have to re-teach myself everything from scratch and get the help of some of my friends who are good at Alg (u know who you are). It’s been really difficult, but I’ll get there. On the other hand, also been very rewarding when I understand it!
My book for this class was expensive ($103) and I’m trying to take really good care of it. I bought as apposed to rent because I was told to on the syllabus (it came with an online code which we ended up not even needing so hey! waste of money!) but now I’ll probably sell it back to the school library after this term ends to get some of that money back.
The number one thing that has helped me, funnily enough, is memes! My friends and I have made memes relating to rules for certain problems, and it’s really helped. I even went as far as printing off one of the memes and stapling it into my math notebook, just so I can see it when I’m studying! I’ll show it to you just because it makes me laugh:
( Any ARMY’s out there - HMU )
As you can see I rewrote my notes for Math just last night (which I plan on doing from now on) just to refresh my memory and study a bit more on the topics I knew I needed to. Figuring out how least common anything works has been literal hell for me, but I’m slowly starting to learn. It’s a work in progress, for sure.
Apart from that, my teacher never gives us set due dates, and we can take all our tests at home, which is a complete life saver for me. I’m about a week ahead in the class because of all the extra work I’ve been putting in trying to re-learn everything, and I plan to keep it that way. This class is challenging but rewarding. In class my professor lectures for about an hour and a half - two hours depending on how long the chapter is (which is usually maybe like 15 pages?) and we take notes the whole time.
The class is pretty silent so I’ve been trying to ask a lot of questions and talk to the people next to me to help the awkward atmosphere as well. I’m a shy person in general but I can be friendly and this class really needs that sort of attitude from the students. The professor is old and he’s really nice, but he’s not too keen on involving students, so I try and help.
Over all, I like the class. It’s challenging for sure, but that was expected. I’m excited to see where this class goes in the future though!
So to finish this off, I’ll talk about my last class, which has proved to be the most difficult regardless of me doing no work at all for it yet. Geology.
The reason I’ve had so many struggles with this class already is because the way it’s set up is just a big mess if I’m being totally honest.
To make things short (because I wrote this once and it literally deleted on me) I have to use three different websites for this one class, a giant textbook (that should have come with an access code to one of the websites, but didn’t), and the way my teacher creates assignments is Messy. It’s all stuff I’ll have to get used to I guess, so we’ll see how things play out. I really hope I like the material though because if I don’t I won’t hesitate to take a fat W on my manuscript (I’m kidding, but it’d be nice to be able to drop fml).
So, moving on from that, let’s talk about my weekend!
THURSDAY:
So my weekend started early because my HR class was cancelled for Friday, so I went ahead and did all of my Digital Comm. work on Thursday. It was all due that next day on Friday so it was a good thing that I finished it all (it took about four hours) but it was interesting so it wasn’t too bad to do. Apart from that I did a lot of misc. stuff like filled out paperwork for my college and tried writing a little bit. I didn’t do a lot of my homework on Thursday because I knew I had all weekend, so that was pretty much all I did academic wise that day.
FRIDAY:
God himself couldn’t tell you where I was or what I did on Friday. I had a really bad day I think so I kind of just slept the day away. I truly can’t remember. Oh well though, we’re all human, we have bad days!
SATURDAY:
So Saturday (last night) was when I actually got shit done. I finally found motivation to rewrite my Math and HR notes (coffee. coffee was the motivation), and I got them looking really pretty as well as put those memes in, haha. Here’s a picture of a couple pages I rewrote!
So on top of consuming two whole cups of coffee, and binging on MNM’s, I rewrote my notes and then wrote out some emails I needed to send to a couple of my professors. I got a lot done last night which means I’ll have more time to finish what I need to this week!
FUTURE ASSIGNMENTS:
SUNDAY:
So, today is going to be busy. I’m going to spend today doing all of my Geology work, which means catching up on Chapters 1-2, and then starting the work for this week (that is due on Thursday). I’m already a little behind because of getting my book late, so the work is piling slowly. I’ll have to work hard to finish it all by Thursday.
MONDAY:
Monday will be spent finishing any Geology work I didn’t finish today (Sunday), and then doing my Math test (due Wednesday), and all of my Digital Comm. work (due Friday). I want to finish all my work for this week in a big clump by Tuesday at least so I can finally just relax and spend a few days relaxing and then picking up my study routine again on Friday.
So it’s clear these last two weeks have been a mess, but I’m slowly starting to get into a routine. I want to plan a few trips to the library this week to get some work done, and then maybe to the gym on campus! Just so I can see if it’d be somewhere I wanna go in the future. I also want to make it a goal to make a few more friends, and possibly join a club.
I will for sure keep you guys updated, and if you’ve read this far, thank you! I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings, haha.
Happy September and happy studying!
-Lana.
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Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Modern Angels AU
Most people forgot that the apocalypse is actually not so much a thing of the past when a gigantic wave or earthquake or downpour of frogs and fires came to sweep over the lands to punish some non-believers for not praying hard enough. It actually is a topic that would deserve more think pieces on the internet or some magical hashtag.
But no.
The Four Horsemen can come riding in their fancy cars or flying in with their pricey helicopters, and people would still only ever bother about what they read in the tabloids, perfectly unaware that what is happening to them is worse than frogs raining from the godforsaken sky.
Though perhaps apocalypse is not the almost bad, if you think about it and discover that both glasses are almost empty. At least that means it’s over. The world ends. Finishing line. Goodbye. See you never. As of now, it is just this strange sense of foreboding that the world is fucked up and beyond fixable, but the final blow did not yet come. And still you have to pay bills, afford an apartment, and work on your tax returns.
And that even though the literal hell keeps breaking loose.
The issue is that people just don’t see it coming. Hell just blended into the landscape far too easy for people to notice that this is what it is.
The prophets went into hiding, or rather, focus their efforts on running those TV networks featuring fortune tellers 24/7. Demons run brothels, drug rings, and deal around with fallen angels, if they don’t get into a gang fight over who went into whose territory without permit. Gun stores owned by Euron Greyjoy shoot out of the earth faster than anything grows on this vast planet of growing wasteland. Industries in Westeros all fear the takeover by business tycoon Daenerys Targaryen and try their best to get their money off-shore before the woman can conquer them. Fastfood chains run by Stannis Baratheon bring out new burgers all of which taste like seagull and mashed books, and if that was not crime enough, it is his monopoly in the food market that only adds to the wasteland because only corn and beef and tastes-like-nothing salad has to be grown on fields, thereby polluting the earth even more than it is thanks to whatever we can pump into the ground to believe that it’s gone for good, then. And once you realize that your entire life is a gigantic shit show, you may find yourself in an even tougher spot if you dared to deal around with the Faceless Men for matters of your life insurance. Because those guys long since discovered the one plain truth: There is just one guarantee in life, and that is death. No refund included in the fine print.
So yes, this world is dying.
And God seems kind of fine with that.
And Jaime? He is just here to watch this shit show go down, once and for all. Because last time he tried to help the world, he burned himself pretty badly.
And fell very, very deep.
Brienne, guardian angel, is sent by her superiors to the Earth to find and bring back the magical sword Lightbringer in a last effort to save the planet from being destroyed by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse who have been reborn into this time and age to cause havoc anew. Since their Lord has not answered their calls for orders in a long time, the angels had to find their own solutions, which is why Brienne hopes that this will help the situation and prevent the worse from happening.
As a guardian angel, Brienne knows that she is not of the highest ranking, standing below the archangels and seraphims by far. Thus, when she gets the order to obtain Lightbringer, she hopes that her chance finally arose to actually guard the Earth instead of remaining hidden away in Heaven. This may be her time to prove her worth and get to know the world she was never granted to visit ever since Heaven was cut off from the earth since it was decided that the “fallen ones” had to be kept outside of the gates of Heaven.
Even though that meant that those not fallen were locked inside for many, many years.
When Brienne prepares for her mission, her superiors warn her that she may come into contact with the fallen angels, but that she must not trust them because they long since sided with the likes of the demons and will only ever tell her lies. Instead, she is only supposed to focus on her mission, on the magical sword, and returning back to Heaven once she succeeded. And so, Brienne steps to the edge of the world she has known for all her life and allows herself to fall to the earth below.
However, landing on Earth is very different from what she envisioned it to be. After crashing into the blue waters of the sea, she has to swim to shore, careful not to be drowned by garbage dumped into the ocean. And once Brienne sees the capitol closer up, the fallen guardian angel is shocked at the conditions there. There is crime, poverty, misery, and a sense of long since having given up flitting through every empty street, hangs high in the air like the smog that crowns the city. Brienne won’t let that wear her down, however. After all, she came here for a purpose, to fix just this, to help, the guard and protect. And so, Brienne continues and enters the deeper parts of King’s Landing, hiding her wings from the view of the people as she was told.
It doesn’t take long until she runs into a gang of thugs who want her to give them her money. When Brienne truthfully tells them that she only has what she wears, the men want to beat her up, if not worse. Brienne knocks them into the dust, having spent eons training to become an archangel to protect the Earth and the Heaven, though she has to realize that her powers are diminished and the pain she suffers from every blow she hands out is far greater than it used to be from whence she came. Brienne eventually turns out victor, tough she comes to realize that she will take some time to accustom to her lack of strength, since so much is dedicated to hiding her wings from the people. And so, Brienne carries on in the hope to find a first clue, but the harder she looks around, the more misery she finds, the more scorn and mistrust she finds reflected in the eyes looking upon that “ugly beast of a woman” whenever she so much as dares to ask for directions.
Brienne can’t seem to find a place to stay, which is why she grows more and more frantic. This is not at all what she imagined this to be. Freezing and without money, Brienne is on the verge of losing hope already, but that is when she is approached by a man who introduces himself to her as Petyr Baelish, who knows her to be an angel at once.
“How do you know that?” she demands to know.
“I am one of the fallen. We recognize our own kin, didn’t you know? And from one fallen to the other, I think it is my obligation to help you out. So why don’t you join me?” he says, offering her a hand.
While Brienne remains suspicious, she goes with him. After all, she needs someplace to spend a few hours of rest, something that she did not have to do in the Heavens, but has to do here, and who knows? Maybe that man has some vital information on the sword she is meant to find. Baelish seems to know his way around the city, after all.
Littlefinger, as he is also called, is surprisingly nice to her for a fallen angel, who were depicted as mischievous, treacherous enemies by her superiors, takes her with him to his “club,” though it turns out to be a brothel. Brienne remains somewhat hopeful when the man even delivers some information that may help her find Lightbringer. However, she is really tired after such a strenuous day and wants nothing much but get some sleep. When Baelish offers her to use one of the rooms in the back of the brothel, Brienne feels very tempted to agree.
Being human is much harder than she ever imagined it to be.
And maybe I can dream away here, too, if only for a while…
Just as Baelish is about to lead her away, the door opens and a handsome man in worn leather jacket strides inside. Brienne can do nothing much but stare as he instantly seizes Littlefinger and tells him to leave “the mannish girl alone.” It is only then that she sees that the stranger bears wings, dark wings. Brienne’s eyes widen when she sees none on Baelish, still.
“You are no fallen angel, are you?” Brienne blurts out asking Littlefinger, feeling utterly betrayed in her trust.
“I am a fallen. Just no angel. So you see, this may have been a bit of a misunderstanding,” Baelish jokes.
“That bastard is a demon who travelled to Earth for better business ties. He wanted to steal your angelic grace. Makes big money in the underground market. I bet he gave you the angel roofie version by putting a spell on you to disguise his horns, which would normally give them away to our kind at once,” the man with dark wings tells her, but then turns to Baelish, “And you will let her go now and not make any further trouble.”
“Or else?”
“Or else I am going to rip out your guts and hang you with them,” the stranger tells him simply.
Baelish scoffs at that. “Please, then I only ever go to hell, just to come back.”
“But until you filed the paperwork, I will have wrecked your entire shithole of a strip club, and may or may not have told your buddies about what is up for grabs. So now, be a smart businessman and let the mannish chick there go. She obviously is a tourist, and you suck as a tour guide,” the stranger tells him.
Brienne can do nothing much but stare when she is being dragged out of the club by the snarky fallen angel, only to have the man right in her face once they are outside and the door shut behind them: “Now, consider this an act of my goodwill for stupid tourists like you, but I won’t come to rescue you a second time, is that understood? I terminated my contract with the assholes up here. So I don't see it as my responsibility to play kindergartener for their babies.”
“I didn’t ask for your help,” Brienne retorts. While she is grateful for the help, she will not be talked to by this man for his own choices. After all, the archangels warned her to be weary of the fallen.
“He would have cut you open to take your grace,” the fallen tells her. “And he would have happily seen whether he could sell some other angelic body parts, however ugly, to buy a new couch for his whores to have it nicer on the backs while they fuck those nasty, fat, old businessmen until they cream in their pants.”
“Doesn’t matter. You don’t get to yell at me for coming to my help out of your own free will,” Brienne insists.
The man rolls his eyes at her. “Ugh, angels. You are one honorable breed, I tend to forget.”
“You are one yourself,” Brienne argues.
“Former angel, fallen archangel to be exact. That means I no longer have to stick to the fine print in the contract. I gave up on all honorable intentions and started drinking instead. It’s great. You should try it while you are here,” the man tells him. “Maybe you would even enjoy yourself for once, because I know as a matter of fact that our kind has a stick right up its ass.”
“How did you find me?” Brienne wants to know.
“The likes of us can see other angel’s graces from miles away,” the man answers.
“But I can’t see yours,” Brienne argues.
He shrugs. “Because I no longer have my grace.”
“Who are you?” she asks.
“Oh, please, you really don’t know who I am? And here I thought I left a lasting impression up in the club,” he scoffs. “The name is Jaime.”
Brienne’s mouth falls open. “Jaime… you are… the Kingslayer.”
“Shocking, I know, but don’t ask for autographs, alright? I forgot to bring them along because some tourist got lost in Baelish’s brothel house… though judging by your looks, he really may have found you not worth the effort of taking apart,” he snorts. “Anyway, what are you doing here? Did you fall off a cloud or what?”
“I was sent here to stop the apocalypse,” Brienne announces, though the man only ever laughs at her in amusement. “Yeah right.”
“No, I am sincere. I was given the task to obtain the sword Lightbringer, which will be vital in the fight against the Four Horsemen,” Brienne insists, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. How dare he mock her efforts? She tries to save the planet he apparently lives on, too. And while Brienne expects no gratitude, at the very least, he could show her some respect for the mere fact that they are almost one of a kind, or rather, that he used to be.
“Bullshit,” he huffs.
“I was sent here for that reason,” Brienne argues. “This task was entrusted into my care. The archangels gave me the task, they trusted me to find Lightbringer.”
They had faith in me, for the first time ever…
“I don’t even doubt it. I am just telling you that they are bullshitting you with this. Just take it from someone who knows how all of this works here, at least to a certain degree, having stood on both sides by now: This is not a last ditch effort to save the Earth. This is just… occupational therapy for the higher ranks of your kind, and so that they don’t have to confess to the big boss that they actually didn’t give a damn, staying up there, unwilling to even take a look at what is going on here. They sent someone as unimportant as you just to make sure that nothing can be done. And that’s it. You are their crash test dummy with wings, woman.”
“I am a guardian angel!” Brienne shouts.
“Which makes you… what income class again? You are not much higher in the ranking than the cherubs, and those fuckers are very much operating at the bottom of our angelic society,” Jaime snorts. “They only ever get extra points for being cute in their diapers.”
“You can laugh at my efforts all you want, Kingslayer, but I will not rest until I found Lightbringer. And I will carry it back to the Heavens so that the Earth can be saved.”
“Why do you even care about the Earth that much? Last time I checked, the guys up there were eager to close the gates and never bother again with what goes on below,” Jaime scoffs.
“I care because I am a guardian angel. And it is my duty and privilege to protect those who cannot protect themselves. And those are the people here on Earth,” Brienne tells him. She blinks when he sees something momentarily shift in his features, but it soon fades away to leave a snarky grin on his lips.
“Well, good luck with that,” he snorts. “Don’t say I didn’t tell you that this is all for nothing.”
“I thank you for your help,” Brienne tells him genuinely.
Jaime frowns. “And where do you intend to go next?”
“I will find Lightbringer.”
“Yes, I gathered that much, but to where are you headed? Did they at least give you a map?”
“I have to find my way, but I will,” Brienne announces with absolute determination, which Jaime almost finds comedic, considering that the woman evidently knows little to nothing about the planet she is currently on.
Because the bosses saw to that. To keep them blind.
“It’s about to get dark outside,” he warns her, “and I reckon they didn’t open a bank account for you before they sent you off. You should see about finding a place to spend the night and go from there.”
“That is none of your concern, as you made clear,” Brienne huffs.
“I am just offering some advice to the tourists.”
“As I said, I appreciate your help, but now I must go,” Brienne argues. With that, the tall woman walks off, and Jaime shakes his head as he sees her step away. He really should go back. After all, the news are coming on and he has to see what other part of the planet is now fucked up so that he can make a better estimation on when the world is going to fuck itself one last time to fall into apocalypse, but when he sees the mannish angel stagger around, he grunts to himself.
Damn those honorable intentions. I thought I drank those away long time ago.
He walks after her and suggests to spend the night over at his place. Brienne proves to be the reluctant, stubborn wench Jaime takes her to be, but he eventually manages to convince her that his plan is the smarter one. Thus, he takes her to the outskirt of town to where he took residence, an abandoned, shabby villa.
While Brienne is grateful to have a place to stay, she is ever the more irritated when the man almost flies in front of the TV in order to see the news and laugh at every catastrophe on display, only ever recounting how that is the failing of their kind and how it “serves them right” to see the world crumble and fall that they once swore to protect. She is fast asleep after the newscast is over, however, the strain of the day finally taking its toll on her. And for the first time in her life, Brienne witnesses a nightmare.
So much to dreams becoming true.
On the next day, Brienne has her determination unwavering to continue her quest to obtain Lightbringer, though Jaime tells her that she should just leave it alone: “Simply call it as it is, a lost cause, and get yourself back to the Heavens. Go back home while you still can. You don’t seem to be made out of the stuff that it takes to make it long here on Earth. The world is too corrupted for the likes of you. So go back, accept defeat, but go back.”
“I will not give up,” Brienne announces. “I have not even started.”
And so, she prepares to go to the underground Jaime mentioned in relation to Baelish last day, because those people will likely have more information on such a magical item. Jaime warns her not to go because it is dangerous and someone as honorable, good, and angelic as her is likely going to be screwed over by the demons and whatever else is roaming around there. Brienne is having none of it, however, and departs.
Jaime grumbles as he sits down in his favorite arm chair to watch “the daily shit show,” but his thoughts keeps circling around the mannish woman who is truly too much of an innocent to handle herself in such an environment.
But what do I care? It’s none of my business anymore, after all. It’s none of my business. I don’t care. I don’t have to care. Why would I care? Why… do I care?
“Fuck,” Jaime grunts as he gets up and decides to follow Brienne, reckoning that the “maiden not so fair” will likely need more rescuing. However, when he goes to the usual places where the underground meets, it is him who gets into trouble with a bunch of demons he may or may not have screwed over some time back. And while Jaime still is stronger than any man, he left a lot of his strength with the loss of his grace and his true wings, which is why the demons stand a chance against him. Just as he is about to get the beating of his life, the demons get theirs, as suddenly, Brienne emerges and kicks their asses.
Impressive, Jaime has to admit.
“What are you doing here?” she asks as she helps him up.
“I actually thought you would need to be rescued,” he grunts.
“I am a guardian angel,” she argues. “I protect, I don’t need protection.”
“Well, on this account you may be right, but generally speaking, you will need protection,” he points out to her as he straightens back up.
“What’s it to you?”
“Nothing,” he answers with a grin, “but I am also… incredibly bored. Apocalypse is taking forever. So I said to myself that I might just as well spend the time with a bit of an adventure, if only to prove to you that it is no more than a game the archangels play.”
She frowns. “You want to help me?”
“I want to prove you wrong.”
“By helping me.”
He rolls his eyes at her. “Yes, wench.”
“Then fine, lead the way,” Brienne replies. “And don’t call me ‘wench.’”
“That was easier than I thought,” he comments.
“I don’t know where to go to find them. You know who to speak to. That is all I need to know,” Brienne explains.
He laughs. “So does that mean you trust me?”
“I don’t trust you.”
“And I don’t trust you either. So it is a truce.”
“Only just a truce, yes.”
And so, the two team up to continue Brienne’s quest of finding the sword of prophecy. Jaime deals around with demons the likes of Ramsay who always know what is going on in the underworld, whereas Brienne ends up kicking ass more often than Jaime would care to admit. Even less so he would like to admit that he enjoys the quest, the idea of having a purpose again other than watching the world go down.
May the Old Man above beware, I may come to care about something again. Yuck.
And Jaime must say, there is something strangely comforting of having someone in the house with him, someone who may not know the full story behind his fall, because no one other than him does, but someone who knows what it’s like to be an angel and who knows of struggles that happen even up in the Heavens, where everything is supposed to be sugarcoated according to the superiors, when clearly, it is not.
Brienne, for her part, finds it harder and harder to mistrust the fallen angel, since he proves to be honorable despite his badmouthing and calling her “wench.” And that even though the archangels warned her that the fallen cannot be trusted, ever. Yet, Jaime has no reason to lie to her about the matters he addresses. He helps her out, he gives her a place to stay, and rather sooner than later is her one vantage point on Earth.
Maybe they were wrong about the fallen after all.
The two continue to grow closer as they carry on with Brienne’s mission of obtaining Lightbringer, which may not be an actual sword, as they learn throughout their research. And as it turns out, the guardian angel and the fallen angel may have more in common than meets the eye. And Jaime has to discover that not all angels are the holier-than-thou assholes he took them to be ever since his fall. Because Brienne is genuinely a good person, she believes in the mission, not the authorities but the mission itself.
Thus, he eventually tells her about the secret the “big guys” want to keep from the rest of the angels, the exact reason for his fall.
“You killed Aerys, the chosen seraphim, the King of the Angels, who received the vision that let us go to Earth and aid the people. He was the first to hear God’s voice again. He opened up the world to us… and then you killed him, and for that you fell,” Brienne recounts. It is a story she has been told ever since she can remember.
“And nothing is wrong about that, other than the part where Aerys meant to aid the people. He came to the Earth to conquer it. Aerys surrounded himself with his archangels, with Arthur or Gerold and myself. We were supposed to guard him and him alone… and keep his secrets.”
“What secrets?”
“That he was more than just one of the flaming ones, but had a fancy for fire. He burned people, condemned them to Hell, dealt with demons just to know the innocent would suffer in the fires of Hell. When I told Arthur and Gerold, they didn’t care though… because they knew. So I had to stop it myself. I killed him, well aware what was on the line for me. It didn’t matter. He could not continue exploiting the Earth for his own mad pleasure. I was ready to die for this. But when I was brought before the other archangels to await judgment, they didn’t kill me. They took my grace instead and banished me to the world I was so ‘eager to defend’ that I dared to kill one of my own kind. And that was when I knew that it was good that they banished me, or else I would have left. I had faith in the mission, in my superiors. I even had it in Aerys, in the idea of going out into the world that we only ever watched from afar. I lost faith, in them, and in the Old Man up there.”
“Why did you lose faith in Him?”
“Because I had my eyes forced open to the reality that he doesn’t give a damn. I prayed to him, right after my fall. I begged him for help, for mercy. I prayed to him to make me understand how he sent this vision to Aerys and let him cause havoc like that, because he is God, after all. And I prayed again when the apocalypse began, and the Almighty One did nothing to stop it, though he certainly has the means. In a way, it’s not that I lost faith in him, it’s the fact that he seemingly lost faith in the rest of us.”
Brienne is quite shaken by those revelations, after all, her reality was another up there, but then again, she found her ideals and morals tested ever since she fell. And she trusts Jaime, she trusts his words, which means that this is the ugly if inevitable truth.
“I am sorry that you had to do that, but I think you did right,” she tells him in a comforting kind of voice Jaime did not at all expect. In fact, it catches him quite off-guard to get approval from what he believes to be the epitome of honor and even more honorable intentions.
“Do you? Most of your colleagues would tend to disagree,” he scoffs woefully.
“I am not like the other angels most of my time,” Brienne argues.
“Me neither.”
“But why did you give up then?” she wants to know.
“I told you. God gave up first. And I just gave up trying to pray to him, only not to have my voice being heard. If he gave up, why should I go on fighting? I did once and see where it got me. I was an archangel. My name used to mean something other than Kingslayer. I served what I thought was the one true purpose. Why should I keep fighting when it’s all meant to go to literal Hell anyway? Then I rather sit back and watch it happen from the comfort of my armchair, taking solace in the fact that I will be proven right on Judgment Day, that this whole travesty which is the Heaven has to fall for it to see that they are not infallible, that they have been wrong, that they would have to live here for a while in order to see, truly see what those sinners are made of. Because they may discover that they are not that much different from the likes of us after all.”
She shakes her head, suddenly looking very disapproving of him. “It must be comforting, I suppose.”
“What?” He grimaces.
“To be that craven.”
“Craven? I don’t run away. I wait for it to happen,” Jaime corrects her.
“You run away from your duties,” she insists.
“They ended when I fell.”
“Falling does not release you from a vow.”
“I am helping you. That is more than anyone can ask of me. The world is damned, I know that, I am just here to show it to you. And after that, you can get yourself to the Heavens to see all of us going to Hell. And truly, what is here to be saved, Brienne? The world is a wasteland. There is drugs, there is forced prostitution, plight, famine, murder, crime. People rummage through the dumpsters for dinner. The ocean is just about to turn green from all the waste pumped into it. The demons dance on the tables for some early celebration. The Four Horsemen continue to eat away from the world for their business profits. And it is only a matter of time until they will hear the ancient call to make them come forth in their true form and thus end the shit show of a world we know. It is all for nothing. And on that one thing your colleagues are right: There is not much worth saving. So why bother?”
“Why don’t you?” Brienne argues. “What does it give you to look at the world in that way? What does it give you to only see the bad?”
“Because there is no good. I have seen it, felt it, suffered through it. This world is damned for a reason. And I think I have done my fair share to protect it already, and see where it got me,” Jaime retorts.
“It truly must be comforting for you, to wallow in all of that self-pity, in all of that cynicism. It always gives you the higher ground in an argument. Because you think you are always right. But you are wrong, simple as that. Because where you see nothing but wasteland, all the bad in the word... I see hope. I see a single mother working three jobs to provide for her child. I see people protesting against Euron's war and fight to have his shops closed down. I see journalists uncovering the illegal practices behind Daenerys Targaryen's and Stannis Baratheon’s schemes to gain power. I see children playing in the streets, in the dumpsters, and I see them smile. I see their joy, even in this hardship they face. I see people fighting, fighting for a better world, the potential of this world to become such. And so long they haven't given up, who are we to give up on them? I am a guardian angel. I am here to guard, to protect. And so long there is might in my body, I will. Because I see hope where you just avert your eyes because you are too afraid to face the truth.”
“Afraid? Of what truth exactly?” he asks.
“That there is a light in this world, however small, in all of that darkness. And that it is worth protection, that it is worth fighting for, dying for,” Brienne answers.
He shakes his head. “Well, some people rather die smart than as a fool.”
“I rather die a fool than as someone who long since gave up on himself. Because someone who has no faith in himself, in his own worthiness of being saved, of living, finds no value in his own life, finds no worth in it being saved. And who would I be to save it in turn?” Brienne questions.
“So you wouldn't save me, is that what you are saying?” he scoffs.
“I won't die defending the likes of you. That much is for sure,” Brienne tells him. “And what is even more for certain is that the world will continue so that it can regain its worth. It doesn't matter that I am just a guardian angel. It doesn't matter that the angels only sent me here to confirm that there is no chance for this world anymore. Because so long I don't give up, it’s not over yet.”
Strangely so, Jaime finds himself more and more inspired by Brienne’s undying will to keep fighting what he still tends to regard as a lost cause, just like he can no longer deny that he cares about this guardian angel more than deeply. And so, as they continue their quest to find Lightbringer, Jaime finds that he may just as well make the time left count for the both of them, showing Brienne the beautiful things that are hidden in the ugliness of the world, abandoned theaters and hidden treasures in those parts of the city no one goes to anymore.
And it isn’t until long that he discovers the treasure that lies in the time he spends with her, because it reminds him of what life can be worth fighting for, and how much he is afraid of losing it again when their feelings for one another are past the point of being deniable.
However, all of that is on the line when news reach them from one of the underground sources that the Four Horsemen plan to meet in King’s Landing. And of that Jaime and Brienne are sure, this will mean that they will awaken to their old form and thus begin to annihilate the world they know and came to love despite its many imperfections.
Thus, the two angels rush to find Lightbringer and stop the apocalypse before it can unfold. However, many revelations are ahead of them, some of which may demand ultimate sacrifices from them so that the world does not fall.
Because it may mean that one of them has to fall again, even deeper.
Without a way to return.
#jaime x brienne#jaime lannister#brienne of tarth#game of thrones#got moodboard#got aesthetic#moodboard#aesthetic#wacky tries gimp#wacky writes fanfic#in smol#ficlet#modern day angels au#braime
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Square R3: A Cinderella Story
Rating: M
Warnings: None
Relationship: Tony/Bucky
Tags: Modern Cinderella story; based on the tween movie; not the fairy tale
Summary: Tony Stark comes home from his parents' funeral to find out that both he and Stark Industries were on the brink of bankruptcy. After months of slaving away trying to save his family's company, he decides to let himself have one night of fun at a masked ball to benefit military veterans.
Bucky Barnes doesn't know much about the sexy stranger from the masked ball, except that his name is Tony and he has an ass that makes him want to get on his knees and give thanks. When he ends up with the man's cell phone at the end of the night, he hopes that this will give him a chance to learn more.
Link to AO3
@tonystarkbingo I finally have BINGOOOOOOO! All of the R column, whoo!
Chapter 1: Clock Strikes Midnight
Tony groaned and rubbed his eyes, leaning back against the couch which, like the floor and the coffee table and almost every other available source, was covered with papers from his parents’ estate. This particular stack was Howard’s R&D pipeline, a bunch of designs that were fascinating, brilliant, and entirely impractical.
“This is just like those goddamn flying cars,” Tony said aloud to the room. “Flashy but ultimately a waste of money. Goddammit, Dad, what in the hell were you thinking?” He stared at one of the missile designs that would have been groundbreaking if the necessary propulsion, you know, existed. Flipping through the paperwork, he saw that somehow Stark Industries had spent 25 million dollars developing a missile that couldn’t fly. He put that in the “what the fuck” pile, which was already way higher than it should be, and dug out the next folder. This one, excitingly, turned out to be pages and pages of coordinates that had been crossed through; when Tony looked them up on his laptop, they were all locations in the Arctic Circle. Stuffed in with them were yellowing receipts from a charter boat company in Newfoundland, Canada, spaced out over years. Tony sighed and set that one in the trash pile. “You and your stupid quests,” he muttered, and picked up the next file. Tax receipts from 1976, it looked like.
Joy.
“Hello?” Tony jerked awake, dislodging a stack of papers from his lap, as a voice called out from the front door. “I knocked, but…”
Tony scrubbed a hand over his face and went to the door. “Can I help you?” He asked when he saw the intruder, a tall, willowy woman in a stylish but off the rack suit, red hair up in a chignon.
“Mr. Stark?” She asked, and when Tony nodded she held out her hand. “I’m Virginia Potts, from Stark Industries. I was sent here to help you sort out your parent’s estate.” When Tony shook her hand, she squeezed it lightly with a soft look in her eyes before letting it go. “I’m sorry for your loss,” and when she said it Tony’s throat got tight from the sincerity and sympathy in her tone.
He just nodded and avoided her eyes as he gestured for her to come inside. “So what, are you the CFO?” he asked, clearing his throat.
“Um, no,” she said, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. She came to a sudden stop when she saw the chaos in Tony’s living room. “But I do work for him.”
“So, a vice president or something?” Tony started gathering up papers from the arm chair to make a place for her to sit.
“No.”
He stilled and glanced up at her. “Then what in the hell was your job?”
“I’m an auditor. Was an auditor,” she amended. “Now I’m your personal assistant.” She forced a bright smile as she glanced around the room. “Where should we start?”
“Well, aren’t you peppy,” Tony said sourly as he headed to the well-stocked liquor cabinet, which had been the only saving grace of the whole situation. “You know you got sent here as a punishment, right? This isn’t a promotion. You’re going to die here with me, buried under decades of paperwork.”
“I’m sure that’s an exaggeration,” she said. “This doesn’t look so bad. Now that there’s two of us…” she faltered in the face of Tony’s flat stare.
“Follow me,” he said, grabbing his glass of whiskey. Ms. Potts followed him through the echoing halls of the mansion to the garage, and when he turned on the lights she gasped. There were boxes stacked as high as her head all along the wall of the garage and between the flashy, expensive cars. There was no way to get to the far end of the room without literally crawling on top of the cars. “Research notes, correspondence, tax documents and other financial instruments…all from the past three decades of my parents’ life. Stark Industries is drowning in debt,” he said honestly, “and so am I. I need to go through this and find out where all of our money went and if there’s anything left so that I don’t have to declare bankruptcy.”
“Oh my God,” she said faintly.
“Yeah.”
They contemplated the overwhelming pile of boxes in silence for a while before Ms. Potts raised her chin and said, “Then I guess we better get started.”
***
Three months later, Tony made the mistake of telling Obie that they were almost done going through the boxes in the garage. He smiled and congratulated them, and then a week later a box truck was beeping loudly as it backed up into the garage.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Pepper said as she watched the delivery men carrying more boxes of paperwork, stacking them chest high in the garage.
“I hate my life,” Tony said, already heading for the liquor cabinet.
***
Tony rubbed his eyes, which felt like they were going cross-eyed from reading so many bullshit financial projections. “I gotta get out of this goddamn house,” Tony said, tossing the file on the stack for the burn pile, which was already big enough to probably require a permit from the fire marshal.
“Are you sure?” Pepper said doubtfully. She lowered the lid of her laptop so she could see Tony. “It doesn’t really seem like this is the time for partying. The investors need –“
“The investors need to mind their own goddamn business for just one night.” Tony rolled his shoulders and massaged the back of his neck, trying to get his headache to ease off. “I haven’t had a day – or night – off since Mom and Dad died. I think I’ve earned at least a few hours with people who aren’t associated with Stark Industries.”
“Sure, I guess so.” Pepper put down her pen and stretched. “So where are you going to go?”
Tony got up and dug through the junk drawer in the kitchen, where he’d put all the invitations to parties and fundraisers and galas that kept streaming in even though he’d yet to attend any of them. He had no money to spend on new clothes and too much pride to go out and listen to people gossip about why he was wearing something from last year’s designer. He tossed out all of the ones that were expired but lingered over one of three invitations for this evening. “How about this?” he suggested, handing her a glossy stock card.
“Fundraiser costume ball,” Pepper read. “Proceeds to benefit disabled military veterans.”
“I could wear a mask,” Tony pointed out. “The gossip rags and therefore the investors would never know I was there.”
“That’s true. But tickets are $500 a person,” she said, showing him the fine print at the bottom of the invite, “and you need a costume.”
“But they take donations for the charity auction in lieu of cash,” Tony called out over his shoulder, already heading for his parents’ rooms, which he still hadn’t gotten around to boxing up yet. “I can give them one of Dad’s watches or Mom’s antiques or something. As for a costume, let me introduce you to my attic…”
“I may have made a terrible mistake,” Tony said faintly when they walked into the main hall where everyone was gathered, mingling and eating the hors d’oeuvres. Pepper coughed trying to cover her laugh, because she knew exactly what he meant. Half of the people were wearing a variety of cute or sexy or revealing clothing, but the other half were wearing uniforms, a dignified smattering of dress blues and whites.
Tony had always had a weakness for a person in a uniform.
“You can have your fun tonight, Tony – I mean, not too much fun,” she said. “I think the last thing you need right now is to try to juggle a relationship along with everything else.”
“I know, I know.” Tony adjusted his Venetian mask, one of many from his mother’s collection, and took a deep breath. “I’ll behave. Just a few drinks, a little chit chat with a handsome military guy, and I’ll go home and get back to the grindstone in the morning.”
“Good plan.” Pepper was also wearing a mask, along with a beaded and embroidered gown, both stolen from his Mom’s closet. Tony was wearing the deep burgundy and black tuxedo he’d worn to his prom, which Pepper had assured him still looked great, especially with the simple black-and-white mask he’d found. “You have until midnight, remember? That’s what we agreed.”
“Yes, Mom. I mean, ma’am,” Tony said, smiling at the glare he got from Pepper. He gestured with his phone. “I set an alarm to remind me in case I start having too much fun.”
“And if you have a hangover in the morning, I’m not going to have any mercy on you,” she warned.
Tony turned to face her, taking her hands and kissing the back of them. “Don’t worry about me. You’re supposed to be having a good time too, you know.”
Pepper took a deep breath and smoothed the look of worry from her face, replacing it with a smile. “You’re right. I will.”
“Too many handsome men and beautiful ladies here to be so stressed.”
“Exactly.” Pepper’s eyes flickered over his shoulder and when she looked back at Tony, her smile widened. “One of them already noticed you.”
“Yeah?” Tony smothered the urge to look over his shoulder. “Who?”
“Dark hair, blue eyes, lips that look like sin and one of those dimples in his chin but in a cute way. Army uniform with one sleeve pinned, has been staring at your butt since we came in.” She straightened his tie and picked a piece of lint off his lapel. “By the bar. Go get ‘em, tiger.”
“You’re the best.” He grinned and kissed her on her cheek. As he turned towards the bar he saw the man Pepper had been talking about, leaning against the bar and watching him with unabashed interest.
Pepper was right. The man’s mouth really did look like sin, especially as he bit his lip and looked away when he realized he’d been caught staring. So Tony did a little staring of his own, taking in the shoulders that filled out the blue dress jacket and the long, long legs, made longer by the stripe on the side of his pants. As Pepper mentioned, the left sleeve was pinned up close to the shoulder, but the man’s right hand was cradling a glass of champagne, looking strong and capable against the delicate glass stem.
He only had a few hours until midnight, so he was going to be damned if he was going to waste time being coy. He made his way to the bar, not even being shy as he pushed his way close to the guy, who was still trying to pretend that he hadn’t been staring. “Hello, Sergeant Sexy,” Tony said, praying he read the man’s rank correctly. “Is this spot taken?”
The man’s eyes lit up when he saw Tony. This close, Tony could tell that Pepper had been wrong about his eyes, which were a beautiful gray instead of blue. “Hello, Mysterious and Handsome,” the man returned, moving over to give Tony a little more room. “Sergeant James Barnes, at your service. Can I buy you a drink?”
Tony struggled not to smile. “Isn’t it an open bar?” He pointed out.
“Yeah, but I’ll pay the tip,” Sergeant Sexy said generously.
Tony couldn’t help himself. “Just the tip?”
“No, I’ll put in however much you want,” he promised, lips twitching as he set his glass down to reach for his wallet. “I’ll give you everything I’ve got.”
“And how much is that?”
“More than enough,” he said as he gave Tony a broad wink. “At least, I’ve never had any complaints.”
“Good to know.” Tony stuck out his hand. “I’m Tony, and I’ll take a glass of champagne, if it’s any good.”
“Well, it’s no Dom Perignon but it didn’t come out of a box,” the man said, shaking his hand. His palms were warm and slightly rough, grip firm. It felt good enough in Tony’s own hand that he was reluctant to let go. “And my friends call me Bucky.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Bucky.” Tony accepted his drink from the bartender, thanking her with a smile, and watched as Bucky tucked a five into the tip box. “So what do you do?” Tony asked, moving out of the way of the next person in line.
“I’m a professional baseball player,” Bucky said with a straight face. Tony stared at him blankly, trying to imagine how one would swing a bat one handed, before he noticed the glint in Bucky’s eye.
“Interesting,” Tony said, taking a sip of champagne. “So are you a pitcher or catcher?”
That made Bucky choke on his drink and it was a few moments before he could laugh without coughing. “Smooth,” he finally managed.
“I’m surprised you don’t get that all the time.”
“Well last time I said massage therapist-”
“Because you don’t have any problems getting people to get naked and lay down for you?” Tony said without missing a beat.
“-and before that it was HVAC technician.”
Tony nodded wisely. “I can believe that you would like helping people out once you get them all hot and bothered.”
“That’s a good one,” Bucky said in admiration. “I didn’t think anyone could make air conditioning sexy, but you managed.”
“Are you kidding? Air conditioning is sexy all by itself. What’s better than getting all hot and sweaty and the stretching out across the bed naked to cool off?”
“Hot showers,” Bucky returned immediately. “Swimming pools.”
“When you’re right, you’re right,” Tony allowed. “Next time your job could be pool boy.”
Bucky gestured to his mostly missing left arm. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I’d look good enough in a swimsuit to qualify for that.”
Tony raised his eyebrow and his gaze raked Bucky from head to toe. Then, keeping his eyes steady on Bucky’s, he threw his napkin over Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky rolled his eyes but obediently bent over to pick it up, letting Tony get a good look of his ass in his dress pants. “Oh I doubt that,” Tony said in a low voice when Bucky straightened and handed him back his napkin, “but if you’d feel self-conscious about it, I would build a pool in my back yard and keep you all to myself.”
“A kept man, huh,” Bucky said, and was he blushing? “Flattering. I’ll keep it in mind. So what do you do?”
Tony grimaced, playful mood deflating a little, and took a sip of his drink. “I work too much for a bunch of ungrateful assholes. I mean, I own my own company, but the shareholders are real bastards.”
"I know what you mean. Well, not about shareholders, but working for assholes." Bucky held out his hand and said, "Wanna complain all about it while we dance?"
"Oh, boy, would I." Tony set his drink down on a small table tucked between a pillar and a ficus tree so he could put his hand in Bucky's. To his surprise, Bucky paused for a moment, listening to the beat of the music, and then whisked Tony onto the dance floor, seamlessly stepping into the slow waltz that the orchestra was playing. "Oh, is this how it is?" Tony asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yep," Bucky said with a smile. It took Tony a moment to kick his instinct to lead and instead follow Bucky's guidance as he wove them around the other dancers. As they danced, Tony was level with Bucky's mouth and could see the slight darkening of Bucky's five o'clock shadow along his jaw; he wanted to press his lips to it, feel the slight stubble against his skin, but instead he dragged his gaze up to look over Bucky's shoulder when he realized he'd been staring. He swallowed thickly, suddenly aware of how long it'd been since he'd been this close to someone.
"I hope this doesn't come out insulting, but you seem really young to have shareholders," Bucky commented, breaking Tony's thoughts. He raised his hand to guide Tony into a spin before bring him back in close. "Are you one of those young prodigy types?"
"It's my Dad's company," Tony said, lengthening his stride to match Bucky's as he maneuvered them around another couple. "He died recently, and I, uh, found out he wasn't as good a businessman as I'd always thought, so." He shrugged, trying to choke down the bitterness that welled up at the thought. After his parents’ funeral, when the hammer had dropped that Stark Industries was struggling on the brink of bankruptcy, Tony’s own plans - his whole life really - had gone up in smoke. "I spend almost all of my time these days trying to clean up his mess."
“Sorry to hear that,” Bucky said sympathetically. The waltz ended and turned into something slower, so Bucky moved them to the edge of the dance floor and put his hand on Tony's waist, letting their waltz turn into more of a sway. Tony went with it, looping his hands around the back of Bucky's neck, fingers brushing the short hairs there. Bucky's woodsy cologne made him want to lean in closer. “So you’re, what, a princess locked away in a tower, slaving away under your cruel stepmother? And tonight you ran away to the ball?”
“I think you’re mixing your fairy tales up a bit, but pretty much,” Tony said ruefully. Bucky's fingers were moving in small circles on his waist, and it was incredibly distracting in the best way. Tony retaliated by raking his fingernails down the nape of Bucky's neck, relishing Bucky's sharp inhale and the way his eyes grew darker as they met Tony's.
“Well, obviously I’m no expert, but in most fairy tales I think there’s a curse that can only be lifted by a kiss from a handsome prince,” Bucky said, voice rough.
“Oh yeah?” Tony had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. “I have been feeling rather cursed lately.”
Bucky's eyes fell to Tony's mouth and he licked his lips. “I’d be glad to offer my services, if you think it will help.”
“Very generous of you. It can’t hurt to try, right?”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Tony glanced around the room, which had, if possible, gotten even more crowded. “So are you going to invite me somewhere a little more private?”
Bucky pulled away and laced his fingers in Tony’s. “I know just the place.”
“I hope it’s a coat closet,” Tony said as he followed Bucky through the crowd. “I’ve always wanted to make out in a coat closet.”
“Yeah, but people always get walked in on. Where I have in mind is better.” It only took two turns before the muted rumbled of the crowded ballroom faded away, but the hallways weren’t quite deserted. They walked for a few more minutes before Bucky finally stopped.
“A bathroom?” Tony said incredulously, seeing the discrete sign on the door.
“You have to check out this bathroom,” Bucky promised as he opened the door. Sure enough, as he hustled Tony inside Tony had to admit that it was a good spot. This was one of those restrooms that for some reason had a sitting room attached, with a fancy oriental carpet on the marble tile floor and couches that looked more fancy than comfortable. The stalls and sinks could barely be seen through a curtain on the other side of the room.
Tony turned around and laughed when he saw Bucky moving one of the couches in front of the door. “I like the way you think,” he said as he helped pull it into place so they couldn’t be interrupted.
“I like you,” Bucky said simply, sitting down and patting the space beside him. “Join me?”
Tony smiled. “I’ve got a better seat in mind,” he murmured, and climbed into Bucky’s lap, kneeling over him. “Is this okay?”
“More than,” he murmured, making a noise deep in his chest as Tony settled his weight on Bucky’s thighs. “Am I going to get to see your face?” He asked, cupping Tony’s jaw with his hand and tracing Tony’s cheek at the edge of the mask with his thumb.
Tony hmmmed thoughtfully and started to loosen his tie. “You know, I’m really enjoying this mysterious stranger vibe I’ve got going on,” he said, when what he really meant was I like not being Tony Stark for a while and I don’t want to ruin it. He held up his tie and said, “Do you mind?”
Bucky shrugged. “If it would make you feel more comfortable,” he said, fingers moving to trace the outline of Tony’s lips. “But, um, I gotta ask – this isn’t because you’re married or anything, right?”
“No, nothing like that, I promise,” Tony said, turning his head slightly to kiss Bucky’s fingers. “I’m just not ready to have the fairy tale be over yet.” At Bucky’s slight nod he draped the tie over Bucky’s eyes, tying it behind his head. When he was sure that Bucky couldn’t see, he untied his mask and set it on the couch. Bucky’s hand had drifted down to Tony’s chest, palm flat over his sternum; Tony wanted to lean into the warm weight of it, greedy for more.
He framed Bucky’s face in his hands and leaned down to brush his lips over Bucky’s, feeling Bucky’s soft sigh wash over his skin at the light contact. Bucky let his head fall back against the couch, seemingly content to let Tony set the pace. His hand smoothed over Tony’s ribs to his back, stroking up and down Tony’s spine as he pressed light kisses to Bucky’s mouth.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had something like this,” Bucky said softly, breath feathering against Tony's cheek.
“Me, too.” Tony suddenly wished he could see Bucky’s eyes, tempted to take the risk that Bucky would recognize him just for the chance to feel the sense of connection. “It’s like I’ve been drowning for months and this is my first breath of air.”
“I haven’t been with anyone since I lost my arm,” Bucky confessed. “Guys on the dating scene don’t seem to be thrilled about going out with a disabled veteran. And the ones that are…” Bucky shrugged. “They’re all weird about it.”
Tony snorted and kissed the corner of Bucky’s mouth. “The world is full of idiots and cowards. They must not have ever spoken to you.”
“No, that part was all you.” Bucky turned his head, chasing Tony’s mouth. “You’re easy to talk to, you make me feel charming.”
“Well, you’re my Prince Charming,” Tony said, and slanted his lips over Bucky’s. When Tony’s tongue came out to trace over the softness of Bucky’s lower lip, Bucky groaned and opened his mouth, chasing Tony’s tongue with his own. His hand tightened on Tony’s back, pulling him closer, making Tony moan when he realized Bucky was hard. He rocked against him, chasing the intoxicating pressure as Bucky’s tongue curled against his own, tasting faintly of champagne.
“Jesus,” Bucky said with a gasp, fingers curling to rake down Tony’s back. He huffed out a laugh. “I want to touch you all over but I only have one goddamn hand,” he complained.
Tony put his hand over Bucky’s and moved it down to cup his ass. “You can start here, if you want,” he said with a smile. “Since you were staring at it earlier.”
“I couldn’t help myself.” Bucky squeezed the rounded muscle under his hand. “Rarely have I seen a more perfect ass. These thighs, too.”
Tony’s laugh at that was a little breathless, because Bucky had moved his hand around to Tony’s hip, thumb stroking the inside of his thigh and making his blood sing. “Not fair,” he said, acutely aware of the place where Bucky kept idly stroking, teasingly close to where Tony’s erection was pressing against the front of his pants. He tugged at the thick fabric of Bucky’s dress jacket. “You might as well be wearing body armor.”
“Not everywhere,” Bucky said with a sly grin, pulling Tony down as he thrust his hips up. Tony bit back a gasp as the sensation of Bucky’s hardness against his own made his head spin. He felt his eyelids slide lower, getting drunk on the sensation as he rocked against Bucky. He pressed kisses to Bucky’s cheek, along the edge of the makeshift blindfold, before he found Bucky’s lips again. Bucky made a sound deep in his chest and his hand came up to cradle Tony’s head, fingers burying themselves in his thick hair, and held him still while he ravaged his mouth. For long minutes Tony's world narrowed to the warm glide of their lips and tongues, Bucky's hand on his body and the feel of his short, silky hair against his fingers, the tempting muscles and hardness between Tony's thighs.
Then a shrill beeping split the soft silence, making both of them jump.
“Goddammit,” Tony cursed against Bucky’s mouth, pulling away to find his phone.
“What’s that for?” Bucky said as soon as the alarm was silenced. Tony fumbled for his mask, sliding it on so that he could uncover Bucky’s eyes.
“I gotta go,” Tony said regretfully as he stood, trying to fix his clothes so he didn’t look too disheveled from Bucky's wandering hand. “I promised a friend we would leave at midnight.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Bucky got to his feet as well and tilted Tony’s chin up one more time to press a lingering kiss on his lips. “Am I going to see you again? So to speak?”
Tony paused, torn. Pepper had been absolutely right when she said he didn’t have the time or resources for a relationship right now, but Bucky was hot and sweet and funny and looking at him with so much hope in those beautiful gray eyes.
“I can’t make any promises,” he said finally. “But I do want to, so I’ll try, ok?”
“I understand,” Bucky said with a sad smile. He dug out a from his pocket, jotted down his cell phone number, and tucked it into Tony’s jacket. “My number is on there if you want it.”
Bucky watched Tony hustle out the door, tie still askew, and went to the mirrors to make sure his uniform was still regulation and his medals were straight. As he pushed the couch back to where it belonged, he felt his foot hit something on the floor.
“Uh oh,” he said, picking up Tony’s phone. Guess I’ll be seeing you again after all, he thought, feeling a bit guilty about how happy the prospect made him.
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Try to make me look bad? Hope you didn't enjoy your job.
Very long story. TL:DR at the end.
September 6th, 2017 will be an ordinary day for most people, but that day, today, marks the end of my quest to right a grievous wrong committed against me by a co-worker who was worried that I might usurp his easy job in the company.
Let me take you back roughly five years. The engineer of our company called me into the office. I had spoken to him before, primarily whenever we needed a tolerance adjusted for an order that began production over or under a limit, in order to avoid completely throwing away anything that we had already spent time and money producing. I figured that $engineer simply had a question about one of the machines, or about an order that had been ran the night before, but instead he had a proposition. I was to be offered a spot in our in-house testing lab, and to start training the next week. Obviously interested, I took the offer on the spot, and that Monday I began coming in earlier in order to do training with our only lab technician at the time.
Enter, $labtech.
Now, $labtech had been with the company for close to the entire time the company had been open. I had only been with the company about five years at this point, and I didn't know much about him prior to when I started. I had always heard the random comment from another department, $otherdept, that worked with him on a more direct basis, and although the stories weren't exactly flattering, they fell into the same bickering that you'd expect from two departments when one is at fault but it's not clear which one.
After a month of training and having all of my work reviewed after completing it, $engineer and I sat down, completed my paperwork, and like that, I was an official lab technician. $engineer became a direct supervisor, and $labtech was a senior co-worker, technically the same position as I was. At the time I worked as more of an extra arm in the lab, working my normal production position unless the lab had an excessive amount of work, which typically occurred when purchased parts came in. We would inspect all of these parts, testing them physically and mechanically before submitting the results to $engineer, who would then either approve them for use or reject them. All in all, an easy job so far.
It was during one of these routine times that the initial offense happened. I was working in the lab at night, and inspecting some parts that had just come in. One of the tools we used was a simple set of min/max gauges. Basically, the parts had to fit inside the max gauge, but not inside the min gauge. However, these were unusual parts, and the gauges weren't kept in the lab due to how rare we ordered these parts, maybe once or twice a year. I knew where the gauges were kept since I was on good terms with the person responsible for these calibrations, $jrengineer, so I grabbed them, checked the parts, and returned the gauges.
The next day, I check with $labtech about how much more there is to do, and he tells me that the day floor manager, $floorsup, wanted to talk to me when I came into work. I found him, and he started questioning me about those very parts I had checked the night before. After a little debate, it came out that $labtech had told them that I was lying about checking those parts, and that we didn't have gauges for them. Only after showing him that not only did we have gauges, but that I knew where they were, did $floorsup even act like he was starting to believe me. Even then, he only stated that $labtech had told him that this wasn't the first time I had lied about what results I was getting, and that $floorsup would be keeping a close eye on me.
I wasn't sure what to do at this point, so I just continued doing my work as usual. However, I was intensely curious at this point. What results had I been lying about? While only a few of our results are printed out by a computer, most of them are us testing either with a machine or measuring instrument, and then recording the results we get. This did mean that any measurements were basically on your honor that you actually completed them, and at times I had known that people had made up numbers previously. However, I knew that I hadn't done anything like that, and became a little paranoid that maybe I wasn't doing my testing correctly, and that my mistakes were then getting results that didn't correspond with results from testing properly.
I started reading our procedures at this point, making copies at times and reading them on break and at lunch, memorizing them as well as I could. Once I had done that, I made notes of what was referenced in these procedures, and talked with $engineer, who showed me the actual standards that the procedures were based on. I dove into these, comparing the two and learning some of the reasoning behind why we did things the way we did. When I had a question or comment, I would bring it up to $engineer, who typically had an explanation that made sense. Why did I do all of this? Because at the time, I didn't think that $labtech was a problem employee, but rather that I had made a mistake in how I did things, and wanted to make sure that I knew what I was doing. After going through everything, checking my sample preparation, taking some of our monthly test samples and testing them myself to confirm they were the same as what we had been getting historically, one point came to light.
I had been doing everything correct the entire time.
Now, I know, there's always going to be some variance between how two different people perform a test, and that every part isn't perfectly uniform, so there's going to be slight differences. However, I was being accused of flat-out lying in my paperwork, and I wasn't happy at this point.
As luck would have it, a break would come my way. Rather, more specifically, $labtech would get hurt walking between buildings.
Coming into work, $engineer called me over and asked if I could start working the day shift. Apparently, $labtech had been walking between buildings with his hands in his pockets, in the middle of winter, and had slipped and torn something in his shoulder. He was still being evaluated, but it was already obvious he wasn't coming back to work immediately. I was a little concerned about taking on the entire lab, but I agreed.
What I quickly found out about the lab is that as much work as $labtech makes it out to be, it's not all that hard. Typically I would be scheduled for a ten hour shift, and have all of my work done within five to six hours. Some days were busy, but overall I had a pretty easy time. This also gave me a lot more direct contact with $otherdept, who before had a disagreement with the lab at least every other day. Suddenly, I found, those disagreements seemed to stop.
Now, just to understand the workflow a little, $otherdept would submit completed work to the lab after some preliminary testing, and the lab would finish whatever testing was necessary. If the results didn't agree, or if $otherdept didn't do their paperwork correctly, they had to fix it. I honestly thought that $otherdept was constantly screwing up, but as I started working directly with them, I was never able to figure out why, as there was maybe one or two issues every other week while $labtech was gone, and most of these were just paperwork that needed finished up or initialed. Instead, after a few weeks I found that they were apprehensive about working with me, and had been told by $labtech that I was constantly going back and auditing their work after they left, and then leaving $labtech a big list of problems that he would then check, and that half of what I left him was nonsense.
Once some time had passed and things had gotten less chaotic with $labtech out on leave, $otherdept became more and more open with me. $labtech would spend hours every day going back and checking everything I had done, from dimensional measurements to even re-doing mechanical testing.
I didn't believe it at first, but $otherdept's supervisor, $odsup, pulled out a folder full of copies of legal pad paper, with $labtech's writing all over it. Notes of what jobs, batches, and samples he had checked, with my measurements and his measurements written down. Now, at first it might look bad that he and I were getting different numbers, but nearly every instance, the numbers were different by less than 1%, well within the difference two people are going to have checking the same part. I thought about taking this into $engineer right away, but ultimately didn't. He didn't have anything against me, and if he did show this, I knew that $engineer wouldn't do anything since it wasn't a concern. However, I made it clear to $odsup and $otherdept that if anything else came up, to let me know immediately. I also shared with them everything I had heard about them, most of which I hadn't even really acknowledged since a lot of it was the same sort of pettiness $labtech was showing to me.
However, between all of this information, the bad-mouthing he was doing about me to $otherdept, and I'm sure elsewhere, and the blatant lying to $floorsup, I was fully ready to do.....something. I just didn't know what yet.
Eventually, $labtech returned to work, earlier than was expected for his injury, but he chalked it up to working hard on getting his flexibility in his shoulder back to where it was. After some time, things went back to normal, and while I stewed about what I had found out, I wasn't sure how to address it yet.
Then, my next break hit, this time a literal break, as $jrengineer would slip in the ice the following year and break his hip, at home.
How does this help me, you ask? $engineer came to me shortly afterwards, and asked if I'd consider covering some of the duties that $jrengineer covered while he was out. $engineer even told me at this point that there was some consideration about bringing in an IT support role for the company as it was growing, and he and I had already had conversations about computers, not to mention some of the lab documentation I had updated previously. I told him that I'd be interested in the job, but that I didn't have any formal training, just the fact that I had been around computers my whole life and grew up with them. The next week, I had a user account in our domain as well as our ERP software, and had completed the paperwork to become a signatory, which just gave me the authorization to approve any testing that we completed. I was shown how we create certifications for customers, how we enter and store test results (We said they're good and put them in a filing cabinet), and started to understand how the company worked from the management side. I saw opportunities, but that nagging voice in the back of my head kept reminding me that there was someone perpetually talking smack about me, that I still needed to do something about.
Fast forward another two years, and I've been working in an IT support role for over a year now, as well as whatever other tasks that $engineer needed taken care of. I had gotten $ticketingSystem installed on our network, managed an e-mail host migration, helped re-wire the entire network, pulling out thousands of feet of old coax and phone wire, and even helped us set up new camera systems. Most of this time, I had been on the night shift, but now the offer comes to come to the day shift. After his injury, $jrengineer was using some, ahem, $naturalremedies to alleviate his pain, and this showed up on a random UA. He was offered to be put on a three-month unpaid leave and have a chance to get cleaned up, but instead just decided to retire. Technically he was fired, but he left on well-enough terms, and I was offered the chance to fill that spot. Again, I accepted the offer, and with it came a realization. In this role, I was $labtech's supervisor. Now, the person who was worried about me being a threat to his job, had to report to me. My revenge complete, I enjoyed the rest of my at the company until a ripe old age.
Oh come on!
Now in a role as a manager over the lab, I had oversight and input into how the lab should be ran. I still didn't know what I wanted to do with this power yet, but I also still coldly remembered being called a liar and having to defend myself.
As luck would have it, my first big clue would come when we purchased a new testing machine. This one was a larger capacity, and would allow us to test some parts that we previously had to use a representative sample in order to validate. Also important, is that this machine was outfitted with a shiny new controller, linked to software in a computer that recorded the testing results. This was an important change, as our older machine (Which we kept and continued using until just recently) could only store the last test completed, and once you cleared the memory to prepare for the next test, if you hadn't printed your report, there was nothing to validate what you did. This hadn't been a huge problem, but it always had the potential to be an issue, and there were times were reports were submitted with passing results, but $labtech "forgot to print the report". It wasn't frequent, so it was never looked into.
This new machine gave me my first big insight though, because it showed me that $labtech wasn't good with technology. I already had cringed inside whenever I watched him operate the old testing equipment, since he would meticulously punch in every number, then go back and read it over and over, and if a single thing was wrong, he would simply start over from the beginning instead of fixing that one mistake. I thought this was just him being thorough, but with the new machine, it was clear that if he didn't have a procedure outlined to the letter, he would have issues. Most of the procedures would have little notes written in, and at first I thought these were quick refreshers, but no, this was him making sure he knew he had to push the "1" button in order to open the operations menu, and only after hitting ESC a few times to make sure he was on the main screen.
Suddenly, pieces started falling into place.
First, I made sure that the new system was keeping historical records, and that it was saving them in a format that I could easily read into. Each file was saved as raw data in CSV, which meant that I had a file that I could read in using PowerShell and pull the exact testing results from. While this was a good start, it would only be the start of not only automating a large portion of my job, but also beginning the push to get $labtech out of his job.
After some time researching and trying things, I learned enough PowerShell in order to automate the certifications I was creating for customers. Instead of having to dig through our ERP software for all the information, it handled all the queries on the database itself, pulling the exact information I needed. It then took it all and dumped it into a nice formatted word document, before grabbing the appropriate certifications from our suppliers for the materials we used in making our parts. I only had to review it, turn it all into a PDF, and digitally sign it before sending it to our shipping department to print and attach to the documentation that was sent to our customers. After putting all of this together, I showed it to $engineer, as well as showing him an example of what I wanted to eventually get done, based on a certification sent to us by one of our vendors. He said it would be a great idea, but would require someone to enter in a lot of data manually.
Enter my pitch.
I laid out the groundwork for a completely new system for our lab. All of the paperwork we currently filled out for the lab, from the beginning paperwork by $otherdept, all the way through the lab, would be converted into a digital format. It would have a login page, record who entered what information when, and create a clear audit trail. More importantly, all of this information would be in a database that could be queried against. I knew it would be a lot of work, and it wouldn't be anything that could be implemented quickly, but ultimately I got approval to start devoting a large portion of my time to this project.
Over the next year and a half, I would learn how to encrypt passwords, work with SQL, learn quite a bit of .NET, and overall make myself a combination of proud and miserable. I learned to hate a lot of different tech troubleshooting sites, and got a better handling on how to use Google. Over all, I learned a lot, and that in and of itself felt great. However, at no point did I ever forget the ultimate reason that I was implementing this system. Yes, it would make things easier for me, since I would have all the testing information at my fingertips, and could have it automatically added to every report.
During this time period, the last piece of the puzzle I needed fell into place on it's own. Obviously I could push as hard as I wanted to get $labtech out, but if he wasn't in the lab, who would be? Well as luck would have it, they wanted to expand some of the testing we were doing, and so in order to cover the potential extra load (Which didn't end up being all that drastic), they brought in a new worker, $newlabtech, who was trained and certified. It quickly became clear that there wasn't enough work for two people, as even when large orders would come in, there would be enough work for both of them for maybe two days at most, and then it would go back to both having little to nothing to do, and instead helping in different parts of the plant.
Both $newlabtech and $labtech were required to learn this new system we had in place, and it quickly became obvious that $labtech was in over his head. At first $engineer was a little hesitant about having such a system, but the more I showed it to him, the more he liked it and agreed that we should push towards using it. Eventually $engineer and I had a long discussion about how $labtech wasn't really catching onto the system, and that he would likely need to be moved into another department.
Believe it or not, $labtech actually does catch onto this system, at least enough that he's able to maintain his position for the time being, although $newlabtech ends up being in there quite frequently in order to assist, since the process of recording data is taking significantly longer than it was before for $labtech. I check up with $otherdept, who is having no issues and in fact is enjoying the new system, especially since they're able to look up any historical information. The only person with any issues is $labtech.
So what, you say. You developed a new system, and he ended up being able to adjust. Well, not quite. As I stated, this gave us historical retention. Another requirement we already had was to hold onto test samples for a period of time, typically a few weeks, so that if there were any discrepancies we could go back and verify the previous information. Eventually, some suspicious results prompt me to go back and re-check the samples, and I find that not only are they out of our specifications, but that the data that was submitted by $labtech was nowhere even close to what I was getting. I brought the samples to $engineer, who checked them and verified that $labtech's numbers weren't even close. This prompted me to randomly pick a few different batches from the previous week. Not only did we end up finding more samples that weren't matching the data that was submitted, but some didn't even have marks on them that indicated they were tested in the first place, and checking them showed that they weren't close to what was recorded. Even though all of this, $engineer was hesitant to say that $labtech was actually falsifying information. I then offered an impartial solution. We had one channel that was not used in our new DVR system. The following week, $labtech was on vacation for a week, and a camera was installed up in a corner, behind the hanging lights, so that it got a clear view of anything going in the lab, while not being obvious.
After $labtech is back, I wait a week, and then pull up the DVR records and start skimming through it. Sure enough, I find where $labtech cuts and preps some samples for testing, goes to the computer and enters results, which I verify against the time stamps in the system, and then goes and tests the parts. After about a good hour of this happening, I download and save the clip, provide the time stamps from the system for when the data was recorded, and hand it over to $engineer. He looks it over, comes back, and simply tells me that it will be taken care of.
The next day, which is today, I come in to find out that $labtech has been released from the company, and will be coming in some time later to do his exit interview. I admit, I'm curious. As offenses go, while he was lying about testing, I thought it was unusual that he was fired. So, I risked it and asked $engineer why they fired him.
After making sure that nobody was anywhere near that could listen in, he let me in on the fact that $labtech had sued the company several times, each time after he had gotten injured at work and wasn't satisfied with whatever compensation he had received. That last incident the company had informed him that his frequent serious accidents that were partly due to his own carelessness, showed that he was a liability to the company and that another accident would probably see him without a job. He responded by saying that no matter what they fired him for, he would sue the company for wrongful termination and take everything he could. Oh, and how he came back early from that last injury? It was about a month after they had settled the case and he received his payout for "unsafe working conditions", even though anyone walking around outside would know better than to have their hands in their pockets in obviously slippery conditions. What convenient timing.
They had a folder already of things that normally would get someone fired, but most of them were minor by themselves, and considering that he had sued the company more than once. However, having a video showing his blatant disregard for our testing systems, which literally means he's putting people's lives in danger, was a fully justifiable reason to fire him. It was also why $engineer was hesitant to do anything about his measurements being off, as while they were wrong measurements, they didn't change the outcome of the parts. Having a video of him recording data without even measuring it to begin with though, gave management ample reason to fire him without hesitation.
TL;DR:
$labtech was a jerk who conspired,
His plan to get me in trouble backfired,
A new system I did make,
To show that he's a fake,
And now he has found himself fired.
(source) (story by CrazyUltraViolence)
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The Action
So, once you get be visa, do you just hop in the plane? Your telling me I don’t need anything else? 🤔 No extra paperwork, no “approval letter”, nothing else? Are you sure….
I’m pretty sure thats how the conversation went with Lamp or something very similar. The only comeback he has is “cuz trust me, I know what I’m talking about” but it’s hard to trust someone when you literally have no clue of anything. You can’t even research shit because no one knows or has any answers. So, I was stuck with trusting his word. But anyways, back to the visa….
I took a trip to the Embassy on Thursday June 15th, and man it was crazy. I took the train at 7 am after having a whole week off of just partying and spending time with people I would miss most. That was the earliest 7 am ever lol. But, I couldn't sleep on the train. I was sick, coughing, blowing my nose, stressing. A horrible morning. Anyway, I got to the Consulate and I'm in line outside waiting. The security officer comes up to me (Black dude who had helped me out numerous times there before) and asks to see my paperwork. Now, if you know me, I don't plan. At all, but stuff like this, I'm always extra prepared. So, I pull out my folder of paperwork, and show him my application. He looks at it and immediately shows me the top of the application where it says, "All answered must be typed." I swear at that point, my whole heart dropped. I spent hours and days making sure I had everything right. The worst part was, I tried to type on the sheet. But there was no program that would let me do that, so I printed it and wrote all my answers. That feeling, it was the worst. I felt like someone had a voodoo doll and was putting the worst JuJu on me. Luckily, this dude really was on my side. First black man I've ever heard speak mandarin, and everytime I came he was there to help me. Once again, he came through in the clutch. Told me to go down two blocks to a restaurant called Happy Place, walk in, show my paper work and they would take care of me. First thought in my mind, Wth is happy place? And how can a restaurant helped me. Nonetheless tho, he had never steered me wrong so, I put it in my Google Maps and took the walk. I arrived at the restaurant, and it was some weird shit. To me, it was just a regular ass Chinese restaurant serving some bullshit Chinese food because literally, no one was in there lol. So, I walked in and showed my paperwork to the lady at the hostess desk. She pointed to the back of the restaurant where there was some old rickety looking door that led to Narnia or the human trafficking market. I was super hesitant to even walk through but, shut what could I do? My paperwork was wrong and I didn't have many choices. So, I walked through the door. I seen some Chinese man standing there and about 4 laptops just chilling on a table with a printer. The application was tight on the screen and I knew what to do. 10 minutes and $12 later, I had a typed printed application. Back to the consulate I went. Took me about 5 minutes in the outside line and 10 minutes to drop the application off. They looked it over, gave me a receipt, and sent me on my merry way. At that moment, I walked out the office and immediately called my sister. I told her it was real. I expressed my visa and it would be here Tuesday. She was so hyped just like me. We talked about it for a little then I hung up. So, what's next? For months I watched flight prices. Downloaded an app called Hopper, which tracked prices and told me the best times to buy. Google flights was my best friend. I wold be at work looking up flights, best days to fly, best times, best airports, all that. (basically, if you need flight information, hmu lol). I had a couple flights saved but the prices were a little high. But at this point, I needed to book something. Lamp told me to get there before next Friday. He was leaving China The following Tuesday for good. So, I had no choices left. Hopper it was. I looked at my bank account, transferred some money, and booked a one way flight to PEK airport in Beijing China. It was probably the hardest computer click I've ever done. I knew if I clicked this button, there was no turning back. I was either going to chicken out and loose $700 or take the flight and be in the unknown. At his point, I put in too much money and effort to turn back. So, I booked it. Thursday June 22nd, 2017. I'll never forget that feeling I had that day. Nor, will I ever forget that day. Seemed like the day that liberated me, and changed my life.
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Well, I can't really give today an overall grade because it was kind of all over the place, good and bad in just different ways. Woke up, 10:50, and didn't want to get out of bed, and may have drifted back to sleep for just a few minutes but I opened my eyes again and it was 10:50 so I said okay I better get up so I did. Got to the DV courthouse and waiting till around 2 o clock to get a case, and while I was waiting I was just you know staring at my appellate brief and trying to fix minor things. My plan right now is to finish my final final sweep through tomorrow then send it to kinkos to get it print and bound because they're making us do that for some reason (because all law students just have all that extra money lying around, you know 🙄) but anyway my spring break friend and I get put on the case together again because of the timing and we didn't know if we'd get another, but if we did he'd pull one of us off (nobody else came in so we did the whole thing). Pretty typical case, asshole abusive boyfriend doing typical abusive asshole things, no kids in common, no real physical abuse up until this morning when he was kind of grabbing and shoving her and physically blocking her from leaving her apartment like back and forth between different doors for a fairly significant amount of time. It was the strongest case because the prior incidents were kind of weak, mostly just him yelling in her face and that kind of thing, but I thought we had a decent chance at least depending on what judge we'd get. We were super quick with the paperwork and were up in court by like 3:15, so I was like oh sweet we're gonna get out so early!! WELL. Little did I know I was entering the most frustrating courtroom I've ever been in. I've been before this judge only once before I think and it was while she was training, and I remember her striking me as a little awkward with litigants but she was still getting used to it and plus she's gotta be like, 30 max, because she looks sooooooo young (I mean, she's probably more like 35, because nobody ascends to the bench in 5 years, but you would never guess that as her age looking at her). So that tends to play into the whole insecurity thing which leads to overposturing, and she was just so fucking infuriating because she was incredibly condescending to every single person on such an unnecessary level and wanted to control everything, and would only let people answer yes or no and cut them off whenever they tried to expound on something and be condescending to them and I'm like.....what the heck, lady??? These are like, the simplest legal proceedings ever, you ask them who the person is to them, when the last incident happened, and what happened. That's literally all you have to do. But it was so fucking infuriating to watch I wanted to bang my head against the wall repeatedly. But OH, we're just getting to the good part now. So a solid hour later our petition finally gets called, and within 30 seconds of her being up there the judge is saying some shit about an address being in the wrong place on the petition for where the guy had last lived because he hadn't "lived" there he was just "staying over" so she's like yeah you have to go back down to the clerk's office and amend your petition. So both me and my friend are like 😡😡😡😡😡 ready to like kill someone. So we run back downstairs, it's like 4:30 at this point which is when our shift is supposed to end so there's barely anyone left, but we found our supervisor and the other lawyer he works with and they took one look at our faces and were just like "okay what happened" and when we told them they were like "are you fucking serious" (like I mean those exact words exited both of their mouths). So we had to go drag a clerk over and fucking scratch off the address with a pen and write unknown to satisfy this damn judge then go back up. We were debating asking out supervisor to go back up with us since he's an attorney and can actually step up, but he said he felt like the situation was handled from there but we could come get him if we had any more issues. He also said we could swap out at that point if we wanted since our shifts were supposed to be over and he knows we had class, but we decided we wanted to see it through (and emailed our prof that we might be a bit late). So we went back up, and I was like praying that because it was a recalled case they would just stick it on top of the like to be called next like I've seen done before, but NOPE we got sent back to the bottom of the stack, and spent another entire hour being fucking infuriated with this judge acting like a complete asshole to everyone. There was this whole big thing, and I feel weird saying this because the guy was like 6'2" and significantly bigger than me but like that poor guy haha I felt so bad for him, the judge was like fixated on whether his roommate kicked his door all the way in and off the hinges and then he went into the living room or if she partially kicked it in and then he opened it and went into the living room and I was like......WHAT THE HELL COULD IT POSSIBLY MATTER like that holds zero legal significance whatsoever??? The guy ended up storming out in what I thought was completely justifiable frustration but I think he was gonna be able to get his case recalled sometime after us. So finally they get around to us, she asks her basic questions, takes one look at the affidavit I wrote and granted the order immediately, because it was THAT EASY. Like, look how overcomplicated you made this and you just wasted like 2 and 1/2 hours of my life. So I was at least glad we got it granted because if it didn't get granted I probably would've gone ballistic on that courtroom, lol. So we end up leaving the courthouse at like 5:50 which is right when class starts, so we jump on the train and then make a quick stop at the jimmy johns that's right by school because we were both starving and it's literally the fasted option, lol. I think we made it to class by 6:10, so not bad at all. Our prof was understanding, my email said something like "we're stuck in an ongoing situation with a judge and we don't know how much longer it's gonna take" so then on break he was like "so judges, huh?" and we were just like "oh you don't even want to know" lol. The class was fine, as usual I somewhat paid attention and did other things. The big take away from the class was that instead of having to make my presentation for the class that I haven't started at all next week, I get to do it the week after because of how the scheduling worked out (he said he was doing it by last name and it wouldn't take up two class periods, and my last name starts with M which is right in the middle so I thought I'd be on the first day, but apparently the roster is early in the alphabet heavy so I majorly lucked out there, and that actually makes everything so much better, because this week into weekend (and it's Easter weekend ffs) was gonna be hell working on the presentation and the trial on back to back days. So now I can just focus on the trial for the next week which makes me feel soooooo much better. I messaged my trial ad partner and asked what he needed me to get done for our Pretrial conference tomorrow and he was like "oh you're good I got it all covered" and I was like dude you're actually the best haha because that helps so much. In addition to a few other things I accomplished during class, I reviewed the trial brief of one of my mentees that she asked me to take a look out since we had the same LARC prof. It was interesting, looking at how she was like structuring things and I'm thinking "did I used to write like that?" And I find myself leaving comments that kind of sound like what the prof would say to me last year and I'm just like shit man, maybe I did actually get better at this stuff over the years, even if I still get incredibly frustrated with it. She had a lot of good stuff in there, it just needed to be reorganized and such and built into a more cohesive argument (which like, continues to be one of my biggest issues because I think the way they want me to organize it makes no sense and I much prefer my way, as does my REAL boss in REAL court, but I digress) so hopefully I was able to give her some good feedback. We ended a little after 8 which was nice, and I made it home a little after 9. No shows recorded, so I watched crazy ex-girlfriend for a bit and relaxed and laughed over the whole starbursts thing that came to fruition today which I have to say put me in a significantly better mood than my just being done with the day. I did realize though I had to get some forms and shit done for trial ad and field placement, so I had to run around and fill those out then like, extract multiple pages from several pdf documents and then combine those into own pdf document because whoever wanted us to submit these online clearly had no idea what they were doing. But yeah, that was my crazy day. Overall the good probably outweighed the bad, but I was just like, so absolutely done with everything about that hell in court. Big girl job tomorrow and doing a big girl permanency hearing, so that should be good, I'll get to meet the client beforehand and talk to her about anything she wants to be brought up so I'm looking forward to that. And yeah, damn it's late and I now have somewhat less than 6 hours of sleep I can potentially get, so I think that's strong enough incentive to end here. Goodnight my loves. Stay strong.
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EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT STUFF
Also turn off every other filter, particularly Could this be a big company? I think there are people who could, if necessary, make it through a PhD program in physics. There's plenty of time to start companies after you graduate. Don't sit here making up a priori theories about what users want, and that anyone else who did was a crank. It's not so much that this is the main cause of what Jonathan Erickson calls the programming language renaissance. I do before x? But his work led to more work till that sliver had expanded into something bigger than the whole economy of which it had initially been a part. It just seems like the right thing to compare Lisp to is not 1950s hardware, but, say, the Quicksort algorithm, which was dictated largely by the hardware available in the late 1950s. But while learning to hack is not necessary, it is short of anything you'd be likely to call an application. Selling There have always been occasional cases, particularly in their work? We overcame this one to work on Viaweb. A Public Service Message I'd like to conclude with a joint message from me and your parents.
And yet, I wonder. ITunes makes money by taxing people, not selling them stuff. People who like orange are tolerated but viewed with suspicion. The next best thing to an unmet need that isn't your own, it may actually be good for them. So you have two choices: give it away and make money from the written word probably require different words written by different people. People still pay for those. By the time you get to social questions, many changes are just fashion. You can go anywhere.1 So it is pretty well established now that grad students can do it, even print journalists.2 And you shouldn't have trouble hiring programmers. College is an incomparable opportunity to do that is to visit them.
What counts as pornography and violence?3 The person who needs something may not know exactly what the future will look like, but I'm not too worried about it. And yet, I wonder. So we shouldn't assume the way startups work now is the way the news and music businesses have. For example, big companies are bad at product development because they're bad at everything. But this is probably not an option for most magazines. Because you think it's better to follow the opposite policy. They have a literal representation, can be stored in variables, can be passed as arguments, and so on. Moral fashions don't seem to be created deliberately. Actually college is where the line ends.
If another map has the same mistake, that's very convincing evidence. The math is brutal. When you feel that about an idea you've had while trying to come up with good startup ideas is to look at users—forget about hacking, and just look at users—forget about hacking, and just build things. Mapmakers deliberately put slight mistakes in their maps so they can tell when someone copies them. VC funding has, in the same way a textile manufacturer treats the patterns printed on its fabrics. He'd have told me to get lost. So, who's right? Java was designed to fix some problems with C. I'm doing stuff that seems, superficially, like real work.4 Writing eval required inventing a notation representing Lisp functions as Lisp data, and such a notation was devised for the purposes of the paper with no thought that it would be five years before you had it too.
Darwin himself was careful to tiptoe around the implications of his theory. It's not considered improper to make disparaging remarks about Americans, or the weather, or anything like that. Live in the future and build what's missing into something even better: Live in the future and build what seems interesting. If Bill Gates and Paul Allen hear about the Altair and think I bet we could write a Basic interpreter for the Altair.5 A symbol type. Doesn't that show people will pay for content? And yet, I wonder.6 The conventional wisdom among VCs is that hackers shouldn't be allowed to run their own companies. When I talk to undergrads, what surprises me most about them is how conservative they are. If you define a language that has car, cdr, cons, quote, cond, atom, eq, and a pretty striking example it is. Everything happens slower in big companies unless they happen to be the mistaken one. If we turn off our self-censorship temporarily, those will be the most progressive.
The advice about going to work for Apple. They'd prefer not to deal with payments. Have you ever noticed that when animals are let out of cages, they don't always realize at first that the door's open? This should be the m. You couldn't get from your bed to the front door if you stopped to question everything. Now I would guess that practically every Stanford or Berkeley undergrad who knows how to program. Ideas 8 and 9 together mean that you can almost discount the possibility.
A sales force is worth something, I'll admit. He wanted to spend his time thinking about biology, not arguing with people who can help you. That seems unlikely, because you'd also have to make the region a center of scholarship and industry which have been closely tied for longer than most people realize. You need to be able to question assumptions. But when you import this criterion into decisions about technology, and b though in form merely information, software is eating the world, and I'd spent a lot of people will be doing in the future and build what seems interesting. It's not fun. We know that Java must be pretty good, because it means both that there's demand and that none of the existing solutions are good enough. If you're really productive, why not make employers pay market rate for you? Because he's a better writer? That seems unlikely, because you'd also have to make your language look as strange as Lisp. They say Yeah, maybe I could see using something like that.
Notes
Only a fraction of VCs even have positive returns. A Spam Classification Organization Program. 001 negative effect on social conventions about executive salaries were low partly because it has about the paperwork there, and credit card debt is a significant effect on college admissions there would be easy to write an essay that will sign up quickest and those are probably not do this are companies smart enough to convince at one remove: it favors small companies. This is not writing the agreement, but it seems.
Turn on rice cooker and forget about it. A good programming language ought to be clear and concise, because they suit investors' interests. You're not seeing fragmentation unless you want to keep the next three years, but we do the opposite way from the conventional wisdom on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the ordering system, which was more rebellion which can make better chairs or knives, crucibles or church organs, than anybody else, you can't avoid doing sales by hiring sufficiently qualified designers.
Ditto for case: I wouldn't want the first thing they'd do is adjust the weights till the top stories were de facto consulting firm. The problem with most of his first acts as president, and domino effects among investors. Hodges, Richard Florida told me they do on the group's accumulated knowledge.
And yet there is nothing you can tell that everything you say is being compensated for risks he took another year off and went to school.
Instead of making a good plan for the desperate and the editor written in C, and mostly in Perl, and B doesn't, that's not true. Acquisitions fall into two categories: those where the second phase is less than a tenth as many per capita income. Donald J.
Turn on rice cooker, if you seem like a conversation reaches a certain field, it's because of the most common recipe but not the distinction between money and may pressure you to remain in denial about your conversations with potential acquirers. But that turned out to be when I was surprised to find a broad range of topics, comparable in scope to our scholarship though without the methodological implications.
#automatically generated text#Markov chains#Paul Graham#Python#Patrick Mooney#Quicksort#people#economy#solutions#something#filter#hacking#interpreter#money#look#companies#Donald#ordering#ideas#interests#Paul#renaissance#distinction#till#paper#Writing#effect#need#years
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affordable individual health insurance in california
"affordable individual health insurance in california
affordable individual health insurance in california
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affordable individual health insurance in california
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affordable individual health insurance in california
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Is it cheaper to buy a BMW and/ Mercedes in Europe taking into account all costs including shipping, insurance""
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affordable individual health insurance in california
affordable individual health insurance in california
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What is the average auto insurance rate for a 17 year old female added to her parent's insurance?
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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-i-cancel-my-motorcycle-insurance-terry-gray/"
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I was doing you a favor by playing the long game...
I too was playing yet another long game by holding on to this for so long.
SO I had read earlier today the owner of a previous job of mine passed away. This was a place that tried to screw me pretty hard and I took some pro revenge on. It drug up some angry old feelings, so why not take an equal dose of catharsis?
WARNING: This is a doozy so strap in if you dare, no TL;DR it wouldn't do justice.
So this takes place almost a decade ago. I was working as a department manager for a fairly large privately owned pest control company. Their color scheme was black and yellow, much like the taxi's the owner's dad used to drive. Since the taxi industry would be around for ever(hello Uber/Lyft) so would this pest control company, (this is important later) or so the owner used to parrot constantly. My job was to over see the techs doing treatments and set their stops and generally manage assorted insect control services, inventory, payroll for that dept, etc etc. I had taken the job from the owners son who took it from the previous manager who they demoted and yet stayed in the dept...this is important later. The owners son was a late 30's early 40's man child. I mean if he had dialed it back a few degrees he would have been an awesome guy, but anytime booze was involved he was a mess. If it was weed, he turned into the stereo typical obnoxious stoner making nothing but bad Jamaican accented jokes. He also hit on anything younger than him that moved...while being married w a pregnant wife. But I digress, the owner was a piece of work too, old Jewish guy who was as racist as he was old, not with any kind of seething hatred. Just a "this is the way it is" type attitude. My fave line of his, "The sky is blue, Ch#@ks know math, N@&ers are lazy, Jews know gold. What else is new" Like it was the most clever thing of all time. Finally now on to the revenge and need for such.
I had been at said job for about two and a half years, while there I had gotten engaged about 6 month earlier. Due to the awesomeness of my staff I invited about 10 employees to my wedding(it was going to be big due to the wife's family and mine's tiny so..) including the owner his son and the previous manager. I should have felt the ripples in the water when I had planned the trip to propose. The day before I go the owner comes in to do something with a big job and I tell him of my vacation plans as he is looking at the schedule. After I tell him of the somewhat expensive accommodations (I was proposing to my then gf), he literally says, "that's a great idea I haven't been there in years, I think I'll go tomorrow too!" I think he is joking, but he immediately tells his son who was taking over my work that he needs to take over for him and be a presence at the job site. Then tries to demand I clear a day out of my booked vacation schedule for us to meet up with him so he can take us out to some expensive place or some crap. On that one day during the trip he ended up no call no show-ing after we invited him to meet and hang with our family. We spent about an hour trying to call/message/email the guy and he never responded the entire trip. I get back he starts cracking lame jokes about how I ditched him to get engaged...that really pissed me off.
It gets better. Over the course of the next few months strange shit starts happening. I am forced to let go of a few of my techs for BS reasons like the 3 strike rule of attendance randomly being enforced without writ-ups or even verbal warnings. One guy had a 3 month old kid with his GF and I had to let the guy go because of a 3rd lateness of over 5 min from almost 90 days earlier and the previous two being almost 2 years old with the notes of in-climate weather and no routes that day (they also denied him unemployment and tried to enforce a 90 day no compete clause that would have stopped him form getting a job w the competition). Then I get a high priority job of going through back logs of unpaid services and start trying to preform collections with me receiving a % of what I collect(that I was never paid). Over the next month or two I keep getting odd things thrown at me to make money which don't have much to do with my regular job. Till one week where the entire office gets the flu. The owners son, previous manager(now just an officer worker), my assistant and about half the techs call out over the course of the week. I still come in with a 102 fever and goddamn doctors note in case I need to bail, just to get everyone set up and do as much as I can before almost passing out 3 days in a row. I get the entire day's work done by 1pm and leave all with the boss's son's approval. He was thrilled things were still working while the plague rampaged on. But not the owner apparently. I got pulled into the office and yelled at about not taking initiative and calling out all these days...he sounds like he is about to fire me before he asks me if I have anything to say for my self. So I correct him and he looks really shaken and then tells me some BS about the EPA stepping in and making us reduce the number of services we are allowed to do from quarterly (4x a yr) to a trimester schedule (3x) all while paying the same price. Guess who got to call almost every paying customer and try to get them to swallow that? ::raises hand::. So I take care of that over another two weeks and once again get called in to the office. Saying we cannot have this anymore and the EPA is crashing down hard on us and I just keep giving out too many services because the EPA really said we are not allowed to treat more than 2x a year and they lied to me throwing me under the bus(turns out that was a lie too they were trying to get up to stop treatments all together). Knowing I never had the power to authorize a single extra service without consent from the owners. So they had to let me go...only 4 month before I was going to get married. It got a bit intense as emotions ran high, the asshole of a son tells, "My dad told me to fire you a while ago for attendance but I knew you were getting married and I didn't want to mess that up so I played the long game for you man...." In an office with no strict punch schedule for the office workers as we were salary and constantly did things like get food for the office or have to run errands for the business and get stock from another location. Along w/ the EPA bullshit he tells me he just couldn't have a dept with two other managers in it who made less than I do doing the same job. They also tried to block my unemployment with falsified paperwork, claiming unsatisfactory attendance. Tons of bullshit and I never got a strait answer as to why I was let go till I did some investigating. Turns out the old manager who was just an office hand was being put back in the spot she was fired form because she offered to take a 33% pay cut form her old salary and the son just didn't want the extra work.....So they tried to scapegoat me for EPA violations and tried to tell the rest of the office my fuckups were the reason people were let go and the department was going to close.
So now that you've read all that you may have a bit of a feel for why I took my revenge so far and for so long. Luckily I had snapped a few pics of the paperwork I signed upon leaving stating it was due to the EPA infractions. That gets printed out and sent to the department of labor with the rest of their awesome tactics(shorting over time and flat out not paying for paid vacations, time card edits). That lead to tens of thousands of dollars lost in pack pay and fines being levied. The guy w/ the 3 month kid I had to let go told me he eventually settled for almost 35k in back pay... My next stop was the EPA, who much to their surprise didn't even know the company had kept doing the treatments at all as it was supposed to be stopped altogether. Luckily they knew the deal and that it wasn't just me making treatments all willy nilly like. More fines, for each and every treatment performed by them from about 3 months before they fired me. That had to be in the 6 figure range as there was well over 1.5k treatments done in the time and the fine was supposed to be over 1k each. The problem with the treatments were they were too effective, and were wiping out the type of insect that has beneficial and necessary environmental roles. So the mfers were actually hurting the ecology of our goddamn state for their own profit. I created a few fake FB profiles to still be able to follow the owner and his son on FB and find out not 30 days after their EPA issues my department closed down.
Okay so that was 2006ish, two years pass and I keep seeing my POS old boss, speeding around the area (I lived near the place) in his old ass little red Mercedes. Guess who called the cops worrying about the safety of those on the road around this dangerous car? Guess who eventually got caught for DUI at 2pm in the afternoon?
Fast forward a few years to 2011. Mr Whiz Kahlifa drops the song Black and yellow. Decent track. But remember how my old boss was a super racist fellow? Remember the business' color scheme? So I spent about a month sending him different youtube links to that song, from random email accounts. And finally one of a commercial for the company with Whiz's song over it vs the lame jingle they used. Not two weeks after I stop they change the goddamn color scheme of the place to a horrible red white and blue one. But not exactly red white and blue like the American flag more like the Blue white red of the French one. I wait about a month after the Black and Yellow attack and send him a vid of the French national anthem while a the flag is waving in the background. The next goddamn day the place is covered in that cheesy car dealer red white and blue American bunting and American flags everywhere.
Fast forward again to about 2014 and fuck me if I am not out for a walk, and see that company's sign in a lawn advertising that same old treatment on the same old signs from 06'...guess who got sent yet another email to the EPA w pictures? That one got them in major and local news as being "no friend to the environment".
Last time I went by their place they seemingly had half fleet of what are now used blue white and red covered mini trucks. Plus their call center building was emptied of furniture. Unfortunately they are still in business but are sitting at about a 3 star rating on Yelp and that was after they did the damage control to get it back from 1.5 stars.
Sorry(not sorry) guys, I was just playing the long game for you....
(source) (story by StendhalSyndrome)
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alright, so. today was fine. I woke up to my alarm at 11:45 am (I know, I know...) and got ready to go to PT at the new place. It was actually kinda warm today, in the 80s, so I opted to take the bus a few stops down to it rather then walking, though I’ll probably try to walk in the future. Got there, filled out some paperwork, and got called back. talked about the pain for a bit, then went through some exercises to see what works and what doesn't. I’m always amused when they’re like “okay bend down and try to touch your toes” and I just go down and touch them like it’s nothing, and they’re always like “wow, your flexible” and then as the eval went on and he’s like bending my leg around with no reaction from me and he’s like “wow, you’re really flexible....” I just always find it so amusing that that’s always the reaction from people. So we did some muscle work and went over some exercises, and I have another appointment for Thursday. he seemed optimistic about us being able to make progress, so that’s encouraging. Once I got out of there I needed to run to Target to pick up a prescription, so I had to figure out the best way to get there. Target is directly southeast from my apartment, so I generally either take the bus down the road near me south and then walk the rest of the way east because it’s difficult to find a bus that goes that route, or I walk the way east and then catch the bus south on the further road. Since I was already a bit south, I just walked east and then took the bus the rest of the way south. Pretty quick target trip, got some Starbucks and got the prescription, then I was looking at the baking aisle (because it’s finals and I stress bake) where I picked up some mini m&ms made for cooking and a bag of toffee bits, because I’ve seen recipes calling for them but never actually seen them, so I figured it’d be a good thing to have. Grabbed granola bars and pretzels, then went through the clothes section, and I was tempted to buy soooo many things, and I couldn’t resist a wonder woman tank top that was only $9, I mean, how am I supposed to say no to that? I checked out and tried to see if I could get on a bus west so I wouldn’t have to walk, which is then just tricky coordinating with the bus going north. but I got on the west bus and right as we pulled up to the stop there were legit 3 buses on the north route stopped there, and when I got off the bus I signaled one of the bus drivers that I was coming over as soon as the light changed and I could walk across the street, and he was kind enough to wait. While I was standing there waiting for the light to change there’s a tap on my shoulder, so I turn around and I’m just kinda looking at this guy being like “....yes?” and he was like “what you don't remember me?” and then I was like “OHHHHH,” he was the guy from the train platform I met a few weeks back. We only got to say like two words to each other because the light changed and I had to run, but he was like “we should chat on facebook” so I was like yeah sure and got on the bus lol. So that was interesting, lol. Took the bus the rest of the way to my apartment, my roommate was home which was interesting because she usually works 9-5 during the week but she had a dentist appointment and then the afternoon off, so it was nice to see her for a bit. we both tend to have busy schedules so we don’t always see that much of each other. mmmm, something also happened regarding the situation at my undergrad going on with Title IX that I mentioned, I don’t want to give away too much information right now in case it somehow gets in the wrong hands, but I will definitely spill everything once it happens, and oh, is it going to be great. The reckoning they hav coming is long overdue. so I was happy about that. I went to the outline depot website and the ones I uploaded still hadn’t been accepted, so I sucked it up and paid the $20 for the outline, and upon opening I was like well if I had this I wouldn’t have bothered to print off my case briefs, because it’s an incredibly detailed version of literally all of them lol, clocking in at 90 pages, so I at least feel good about having that at least. I tried to print it, but my printer soon stopped working and of course, I was out of ink, because it can’t be finals without my printer running out of ink. I was momentarily frustrated, but then I realized I can print it at school tomorrow because I still have a ton of money left in my printer account at school, so this would be a perfect way to use that, so I was pleased with that. Afterwards I watched the first lecture video on secured transactions from the bar prep company, it was like 48 minutes, it was the intro so it was pretty basic but it was good stuff. They have 6 of them, so I’ll probably try to watch those over the next week. When it got close to 7 I moved over to the couch to watch The Flash. I had mixed feelings about the episode. I feel like it didn’t really advance the plot all that much, but I was very happy to see Marlize standing up to Clifford and walking out on that douche. I’m not sure how to feeling about the Cisco and Cynthia break up, we got barely anything from them this season so it didn’t feel like a very committed relationship anyway. I loved the stuff with Harry and Cecile, that was hilarious and brilliant. When the episode was over I watched Rise, which was a pretty good episode. They’re doing a much better job than Glee did in actually fleshing out their characters, though they don’t have nearly as many musical numbers as Glee did. I keep cracking up that the show they wanted to replace Spring Awakening with was Grease because that’s considered “unproblematic” which is fucking hilarious because Grease is dirty AF and contains half the stuff in Spring Awakening anyway, lol. But yeah, I liked the episode. After that was over I didn’t really have anything else I wanted to watch, so I turned the tv off and spent a few minutes on my computer before deciding I’d start getting ready for bed a bit earlier since I have to wake up earlier than normal tomorrow. I have my “exit interview” with the school at 9:45 am, then my civil rights final at 1:30. I’m not very concerned about the final, I know I aced the midterm and I feel like I have all the notes necessary to help me through, so I’m okay with that. And yeah, thats about right. It’s not that late but since I already took my melatonin like an hour ago I’m starting to feel sleepy, so I’m going to stop here. Goodnight my dears. Have a lovely Wednesday.
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