#we made a starfish and fucked up dog. there was a pool. a guy tried to kill gus. OH

[marsbotz]

i had a dream i had a beautiful loving friendship with gus fring to match the one where i was besties with mike. im so broken take me BACK!!!!!

#i could FIX him #alsooooo jesse was there i think he like. helped save gus at some point idk #i was like god damn best episode EVARRRR. heartbroken #i dont rlly remember the details i kinda slept like shit so im a bit scrambled #but ik we were fucking around w like.. game code? to make a pet shop? #so fucking random #we made a starfish and fucked up dog. there was a pool. a guy tried to kill gus. OH #he got shot and i had to stop him from bleeding out until the ambulance arrived #also he called. and cus they were super busy he was like ‘i can provide information aboyt felonies. also i have been shot in the chest’ LOL #wtf mike got shot in my dream abt him too. why thats so random #there was also a separate dream abt ummm. idk some sort of puzzle thing we had to do as a team…? saul was there. he set a fire as a scheme #but the fire ppl wouldnt come until he said there were ppl inside 😭 #idk if i ever talked abt the mike dream here actually. #we were just friends…. besties… and he got SNIPED…….. and i tried to save him but he died #it was so sad the next day i was sad like all morning #feels similar now. miss u gus #^^^ EFFECTS OF ZERO FRIENDS #ummm anyway. more updates #i bought a meta quest like on impulse cus i saw they were cheaper now. the thing fucking sucks but vr is so awesome #ive been mostly playing beat saber cus my room is teeny tiny so i cant rlly safely turn #i started making my own map w a patricia taxxon song. SUPER fun i can see this becoming a new hobby #ive also been fucking around in vrchat a little. that shit is mindblowing #so immersive. its like unbelievable #ive only been playing that solo rn bc im shy and also testinb how well my laptop csn hsndle it LOL…. #but its so awesome. i feel like a little kid #i had to get a better headstrap and face pad bc the stock pne is So bad. like i camt wear it for more thsn like 20 mins at a time #so maybe when that comes i will muster up the courage to go into public worlds #best world i have visted so far. udons bird sanctuary. i think irs called #U CAN FEED DUCKSSSSS. WAAAAGHHHH #one day i want to make my own avatar too. im feeling the inspiration

[kiriluvbot]

just the two of us

outside, hanta stands with his phone in hand, other hand raised to knock again. he drops it, and all shouto can do is stare.

“i’m so sorry,” hanta whispers, and his voice is ragged.

or; a rushed confession in shouto todoroki’s bathroom.

—

shouto is sprawled across his floor like a starfish, glaring at the ceiling. white and red pools around his head, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

where is he?

he checks his phone, quiet at his side, and finds no new messages.

the house is empty. he spent a solid hour and a half after school cleaning his room to prepare for him. he made sure his parents would be out, made sure none of his siblings wanted to make a surprise visit for dinner. he even made sure he didn’t have any homework for the night.

because it’d been a minute since they hung out, and shouto misses him.

him.

hanta sero.

shouto sighs, wistful and irritated. hanta looked so—so pretty at school today (well, every day). breathtaking. dazzling. shouto doesn’t really have the words to describe hanta or the way he makes him feel or how much shouto just wants him to push him against a wall and kiss him until neither of them can see straight. shouto’s face heats up at that.

he thinks of the last time he went over to hanta’s house, just a few weeks ago. when hanta tried to teach him to skateboard, holding his hand when he got nervous, smiling at him like maybe hanta was having just as much fun as shouto. shouto collapsed in hanta’s hammock and they read manga together until dinner.

staying for dinner at hanta’s house had been a first for shouto, even despite being friends for several years now. eating the table with hanta’s enormous and loud family had felt so… perfect. comfortable. like shouto belonged there and blended in, even despite having two toned hair and being much quieter than the others.

afterward, when shouto got ready to leave, he summoned the courage to kiss hanta’s cheek. that was truly the cherry on top.

it was one of the best days of shouto’s entire life. he’d gone home flushed and elated, and absolutely nothing about his own home could crush the high he was riding.

every single day since then, shouto relives the memory of hanta’s skin beneath his lips.

but right now, hanta is late, nearly an hour late, and they’ve had this planned for over a week. if shouto were the glare any harder at the ceiling above him, it might catch fire.

what could hanta possibly be doing? it’s a friday afternoon, it’s six o’clock, and have i mentioned this has been planned for a while. surely hanta hasn’t ditched him? he’s never ditched him before, and if he has something come up he always lets shouto know. he’s thoughtful like that.

anxiety pools in shouto’s gut. maybe he’s finally gotten tired of shouto. maybe hanta has finally decided shouto isn’t worth his time anymore. maybe, worst of all, hanta has caught on to shouto’s crush and is so creeped out he doesn’t ever wanna talk to shouto again.

shouto sits up, frowning. that can’t be it. right? hanta is a good person, a great person, the nicest and most pure shouto’s ever met. hanta wouldn’t do that to him.

his phone reads 6:07 pm and shouto considers calling hanta, but he really doesn’t want to be pushy. he gets ready to stand, pulling a hand through his hair and trying to gather his thoughts. aside from the anxiety, he’s almost hurt. mad, even. and shouto has never been angry with hanta before. he’s never had a reason to be, but right now—

shouto calls him.

one ring, he’s on his feet.

two rings, he’s pacing his room.

three rings, his blood starts to boil. hanta wouldn’t ditch him. hanta wouldn’t do that. if he’s late, maybe it’s because—

the call goes to voicemail after five rings. hanta declined his call.

oh.

oh.

shouto stares at his phone screen in disbelief, two toned brows pinching together. an ugly feeling bleeds through him and he’s not at all sure what he’s supposed to do about it.

sit here and continue to wait? lock his doors and pretend there was never a plan to hang out at all? go to fuyumi’s, tell her about this strange feeling in his chest and hope she understands? god knows he’d never tell his parents.

shouto steps out of his room, trying to storm into the kitchen but not really sure how to storm. he wants to be angry, but guilt weighs him down even more. maybe he should text hanta. maybe he should just ask what’s wrong. maybe he could call again.

he pours himself a glass of water, hanta’s text conversation pulled up on his phone. there’s not a single new message.

should he say where are you? should he say are you avoiding me? should he ask if something’s wrong, if something’s come up? should he text him at all if hanta went through the moves of declining his call?

fuck it.

shouto: where are you?

he takes a drink.

seen by hanta at 6:12 pm.

another drink.

no response. shouto takes a deep breath, quickly coming to realize this ugly feeling unfurling in his chest is something close to dread.

there’s a knock at the door.

his parents don’t knock. neither fuyumi nor natsu are supposed to come by today.

shouto takes his sweet time going to answer it, trying to calm his heart rate. he doesn’t check the peephole. he pulls open the door, fully expecting one of his siblings, so he tries to look at peace and not at all ready to bury himself in his room and never come back out again.

outside, hanta stands with his phone in hand, other hand raised to knock again. he drops it, and all shouto can do is stare.

hanta has been taller than him for as long as they’ve known each other. but now he’s hunched over, like a dog trying to cower away from punishment. his glittering dark hair is tucked behind his ears, curling around his neck, earrings on full display. he’s beautiful.

“i’m so sorry,” hanta whispers, and his voice is ragged.

it’s then that shouto really gets a look at him, and he’s really not sure how he missed it at all.

it draws shouto’s attention to his lips, where the bottom one is busted and bleeding. his left cheek is blooming purple and green and blue, dark spots of black and red like the blood didn't quite make it to the surface. it sort of looks like he face planted while skateboarding, maybe ran face first into a really hard wall.

but shouto knows better.

“shouto—“

“don’t apologize,” shouto says, already reaching for hanta’s sleeve. “get your ass in here.”

he pulls a battered hanta through the doorway and hardly waits for him to toe his shoes off. shouto keeps pulling, through the living room, the kitchen. down the hall. closer to his room. he files away the weird anger and hurt he felt just a few minutes ago and focuses on what’s important: hanta.

they reach shouto’s bedroom. once they’re inside, shouto releases hanta and goes to shut the door, leaning against it after he hears the click. he doesn’t have time to be angry anymore because hanta is bleeding.

then hanta says, “please don’t be angry.” his eyes shine with guilt and secrets, and shouto can hardly stand to keep looking, can hardly stand to look away.

“why would i be angry?” shouto asks, knowing damn well he’d been ready to scream out all his rage prior to opening the front door.

“i—well, i’m late,” hanta starts explaining, voice painfully quiet. “i told you i’d be here—“

“hanta, who did this to you?” shouto interrupts. his heterochromic eyes scan the rest of hanta, looking for more blood, for more signs of what the hell happened.

hanta’s shirt is crumpled with blood on the collar, likely from wiping his lip. he’s dusty, too, and the knees of his jeans are ripped and torn. maybe he really did fall, but his body language says otherwise.

hanta seems to curl into himself, almost flinching at the question. he takes too long to answer. shouto glares at him like he glared at the ceiling. “...shou, can we please not—“

his eyes narrow. hanta didn’t fall.

“tell me who did it.”

had shouto ever fought anyone in his life? absolutely not. was he ready to start now, to get revenge for hanta? you bet your sweet ass he is. his fists clench at his sides, skin crawling with fiery rage and icy guilt. he can’t be angry at hanta; it wasn’t his fault he was late.

“it’s nothing serious,” hanta deflects, rubbing the back of his neck. a nervous tick. “really, um—“

“hanta.”

hanta looks him in the eye, and shouto can feel shame radiating off of him now. after a few seconds, hanta finally melts. gives in.

he sighs. “these guys from class 3C, they—they needed money, i guess, and—“

“tell me their names.” shouto’s mind starts swiping through their classmates, looking for anyone who could be at fault here. they had plenty of ruffians in their class, plenty of thieves and liars, but to go to these lengths? like middle schoolers? they were seventeen years old, dammit. who does this?

shouto has to know.

hanta starts to stand up a little straighter. “shou, no. please. i really don’t want to talk about it, alright?” there’s an edge to his tone that indicates he really is ashamed, maybe even embarrassed.

shouto’s frown deepens. he wonders if hanta had even seen them coming, whoever they were, and if he was able to put up a fight. shouto doesn’t think hanta has ever used his hands for violence a day in his life. it’s likely they shoved him down, took what they wanted, and left a few marks just so hanta wouldn’t be able to forget how badly they humiliated him.

after a moment of heated eye contact, shouto finally gives in. it happened, it’s over, hanta is here now. late, but here and whole.

“fine,” he says. “come on. i can clean you up.”

does he have any experience cleaning people up? not really but he’s helped hanta with many scraped knees and hands from skateboarding incidents as well as general incidents. hanta can be clumsy.

shouto pushes away from the door, ignoring the way hanta’s dark eyes follow him as he steps forward and takes hanta’s arm again. he ignores the heat crawling up his neck as hanta quietly falls in behind him, following shouto to the bathroom with his eyes still boring into the back of his two toned head.

hanta is the main character, shouto decides as the taller boy sits at the edge of the tub, twisting his hands in his lap. hanta is too good, too pure, too wonderful to be anything less than the main character.

shouto pulls out a first aid kit gifted to him by natsu, most likely something natsu was just trying to get rid of, and a wet washcloth. he kneels in front of hanta, and gets to work.

if shouto is anything, he’s meticulous. hanta calls it gentleness. shouto always replies with only for you.

his fingers are searing on hanta’s skin, light and careful as he cleans up blood and dust from his wounds. hanta had been high on adrenaline up until reaching shouto’s front door that he really hadn’t felt any pain. now that he’s more relaxed, he can feel everything all the way down to the bits of dirt and rocks sticking in his knees through the tiny rips of his jeans.

the process is slow and hanta takes it as an opportunity to admire shouto from up close. he doesn’t even try being sly as his eyes follow shouto’s multicolored ones, watching the flutter of his lashes, the way he chews his cheek when he’s focused.

he blows red and white hair out of his eyes and hanta almost smiles, dreamy and dazed even despite the situation they’re in.

“when did you learn how to clean wounds?” hanta teases, breaking the silence.

shouto doesn’t look at him. “practice from knowing someone very clumsy with hardly any regard for personal safety.” his lip quirks when he hears hanta chuckle. “also, instinct.”

hanta seems to like this answer, shouto can feel him smile beneath his working hands. “i trust your instinct.”

there’s a pause, and hanta wonders if he should’ve kept his mouth shut.

“why didn’t you answer my call?”

ah.

hanta swallows, smile fading. “i was running to get here and just—“ he cuts himself off. “that’s not an excuse. i apologize for that. i should've let you know where i was.”

shouto hums and hanta doesn’t miss the furrow of his brows, brief as the movement is. “i thought you were avoiding me.”

“wh-what? no. no, oh my god,” hanta sputters out. “i’m—this is really—just—no. definitely not avoiding you.” the definitely is accented by nervous laughter. shouto catches it.

hanta had never even dreamed of avoided shouto, never thought about it and never ever wanted to. even if he had wanted to, shouto was a magnet, and hanta was forever in his orbit. they would always come back to each other, one way or the other. that’s how the universe created them, that’s how the universe would keep them. hanta wouldn’t have it any other way.

then shouto sits back on his heels, pushing the first aid kit to the side. something about hanta’s tone doesn’t sit right with him, and anxiety crawls up his throat again. shouto chokes it down, lifts a hand to hanta’s face. he grabs his chin and makes the raven haired boy look him in the eye.

hanta goes willingly, in orbit and in love. he even leans into the touch like shouto hadn't spent the last half hour touching him. it’s never enough.

“have i done anything to—“ shouto frowns, suddenly unable to spit the words out. he drops his hand. “would you tell me if i ever do anything wrong? cross any lines?”

question marks full hanta’s mind, and he tilts his head, hair coming untucked from behind his ear.

“of course,” he replies, true and instant. of course. when shouto doesn’t seem satisfied with that, hanta reaches for the hand that fell, despite the nerves dancing in his veins. “shouto—“

shouto shuts his eyes tight, and says, “i thought you didn’t want to hang out with me because of what happened last time.”

hanta stares, the hand in his own warm and grounding. he tilts his head even further.

last time?

hanta thinks of the last time in question, about a week and a half ago, and the kiss shouto had placed on his cheek. hanta couldn't, would never, forget. hell, he thinks about it when wakes up in the morning, while he’s brushing his teeth, during class when he’s supposed to be paying attention. he thinks about it before he goes to sleep, and he’s pretty sure he’s dreamt of it a number of times.

he thought of it when he knocked on the door. he’s thinking of it now.

hanta smiles at him, a shaky smile that shouto doesn’t see because of his squeezed shut eyes. “why would i avoid you for that?”

gray and blue eyes open wide, unblinking and focused on hanta’s shirt. he squeezes hanta’s hand. “because—because i thought—“ he bites his lip, gives himself a second to think of a proper response. “i thought i crossed a line and freaked you out. that you were trying to get rid of me without—“ he hangs his head, red and white locks acting like a curtain. “without hurting my feelings.”

there is no i guess at the end of that sentence, because shouto never guesses, but it hangs in the air nonetheless.

“shouto.”

“hanta.”

with his free arm, hanta summons every ounce of courage and bravery he has within him, and dips his fingers under shouto’s chin. it’s his turn to lift the boy’s head, gently and slowly, giving him time to pull away if he wants to. shouto is hardly ever upset, and even when he is, it’s never written all over his face like it is right here in this moment.

“you didn’t cross a line. you didn’t freak me out.”

shouto goes where hanta’s fingers lead, closer and closer to eye level. hanta leans down, dark eyes meeting a storm of gray and blue. he smiles again, so shouto can see it this time, sympathetic and calming.

shouto opens his mouth, head spinning a mile a minute. this closeness is much closer than before, closer than ever, and he wishes for a pause button to catch his breath. “but—“

hanta tilts his head again and shouto blinks the stars out of his eyes. “those things never even crossed my mind. in fact, it’s kind of all i’ve thought about since you went home that day.”

shouto’s mental processor starts to malfunction. hanta is so close, so warm, so inviting, shouto’s drawn like a moth to a flame. this is dangerous, unexplored territory. he forgets about his anger, his worry, he forgets why hanta was late to begin with.

all he can think of is hanta.

“really?”

“really, shou. so don’t worry—“

all he can think of is how much hanta means to him, how he might drown if he doesn’t tell hanta exactly how he feels, right here and right now.

“hanta, i need to tell you something.”

hanta blinks, pulls back a little. “what is it?”

the closeness. the magnetism. the comfort. the feeling of coming home.

shouto looks at the bruise, at his busted lip, at the way hanta’s chest rises and falls.

shouto’s never really been one to openly admit how he feels if someone doesn’t ask him first, but this feels important.

“i like you,” he says, the words coming out as fast as his head spins. “i really, really like you.”

what he doesn’t say is this: i hope this doesn’t push you away from me.

in a panic, shouto leans forward to press his forehead against hanta’s own, eyes shut tight as his heartbeat runs out of control.

cool, calloused hands plant themselves on shouto’s burning cheeks after a moment. hanta pushes him back, just enough to catch his eye again. it’s quiet in this bathroom, in this house, but hanta’s head is screaming, in panic and victory.

“i like you,” hanta says, voice wavering just a bit. “shouto. i like you a lot.”

it’s enough.

—

at the end of the day, shouto led hanta to his front door. he got on his tippy toes and kissed the edge of hanta’s mouth, the uninjured side.

hanta had gone home feeling giddy and ridiculous and high on whatever was in that kiss shouto had given him.

—

gonna be honest not really feeling this one but that’s okay have it anyway!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010554

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #seroroki #boku no hero academia #hanta sero #todoroki shouto #seroroki brainrot #rarepairship #ao3 seroroki #exasperated shouto #confessions #i wrote this very quickly then realized it’s exactly like the krbk i wrote and decided i hated it before i even finished #but take it anyway lol