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ihatemyselfandwanttodiexxx · 1 year

Text

Death Note boys if you gave them a bracelet

Light

(for him I'd imagine matching black bracelets and they'd light up when you're near eachother)

He'd be like "what's this?"

And you'd explain it

Then he'd be all for the idea

Y'know to show L you're his

He'd show it to light

"look what Y/N made me"

And L just wouldn't care but in Lights mind he's like

'yea I showed that fucker!'

Ryuk would tease him

But before that stupid notebook he'd put it around his wrist and wear it casually

Id imagine giving him something with a nickname you gave him (think babe, or lover, or myspace emo)

And he'd just stare at you for a minute

"thank you"

And put it around his wrist

Would show it to Watari and say

"what's this mean?"

Watari would explain it

"it just means Y/N likes you"

Man's would get you something fancy in return

I can't write for L AHHHH

Mello

Id imagine making him something with his name and your name with a heart in between them awe

He'd go all tsundere

And after a while you say

"do you not want it?"

And he'd say

"no sweets, I love it"

And he'd give his cute little smile

And you'd give him a little kiss on the lips

He'd say

"aw does Y/N like when I'm nice?"

And you'd blush

OKAY I NEED TO WRITE ANOTHER FIC ABOUT THIS MAN IM SO THIRSTY

Matt

I feel like you could make him anything and he'd be happy

When you give it to him he'd say

"you made this for me?"

"I gave it to you didn't I?"

And he'd be so excited and wear it everyday and give you all the affection in the world in return

(I'm working on some Matt fluff >:D)

He'd give you a hug

(why am I so obsessed with this man rn I'm supposed to like light ugh)

I'm not writing near for now I need to figure out how to write him

-Kaden<3

#death note #anime boy #l x reader #x reader #light yagami x you #light yagami #l lawliet #mello x you #matt x you #fan fiction #netflix #bracelets #cute #fluff #gay #lgbtq

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panda-noosh · 7 years

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Are you still taking requests for L? Well if you're doing so, I have this idea where his female s/o has suicidal tendencies and a suicide attempt like violet from ahs because, well not any apparent reason, 🤔 if you are not comfortable with it it's okay. Love ur writing

Enjoy!

WARNING:THEMES OF MENTAL HEALTH, SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS,SELF-HATRED. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!

Lalways believed he had no weaknesses.

Youalways believed you were his one weakness.

Lalways saw you as a light for him at the end of tunnels, the giftgiven to him by God, a thank you for all the good he had done for theworld.

Youalways saw yourself as the thing he tripped over, getting in the wayduring his cases. That was why he sent you home sometimes, right?That was why he often spent days without talking to you, his eyesglued onto the computer screen. That was why he could go days withoutseeing you, and still be okay, even when you missed him more than hecould ever know.

Youand L had been together for a year and a half now – a year and ahalf of bliss for him, a year and a half of anxiety for you. Youloved L with everything in you, but the anxiety that you had beensuffering with for years always found ways to ruin your happiness. Itnever just let you live.Ithad to come up with some excuse to show it's sour face in times wheneverything seemed good.

Andyou knew that dating somebody like L was making its job easier – ithad so many excuses to choose from now.

Sometimes,things did gettoo much. You often found yourself crying in your and L's sharedbedroom – if 'shared' was even a word you could use to describe itany more – sobbing into your hands because the idea of L not caringabout you was enough to drive you to the edge. There had beenmultiple times where the medicine cabinet just seemed to taunting.

Notwelcoming. It would never look welcoming – but it was there. It wasan option. And the moment it became an option, a reasonable thing inyour head, was the moment you knew you had gone too far. The momentyou knew you needed help.

Itwas just a matter of getting said help, because it was a lot easiersaid than done. Actually telling someone that you're depressed ispossibly the hardest task you've ever had to do, the fear of beingseen differently bubbling in your stomach.

Whatif it looked like you were doing it for attention? What if it was nobig deal and you were just being a brat?

Youhad to protect your ego over everything else. If you happened to bepushed to the edge at the end of the day, then so be it. It wouldhappen, and you wouldn't be around to see the repercussions, so whatwas the issue?

Itall happened on the Sunday night following Light's lock-up. You wereon guard duty again, assigned to look over the security footage of ascreaming Light, who was constantly claiming that he was not Kira,begging L for his freedom. It was such a weird change of mood that itstartled you beyond anything. Looking at him with your knees bunchedinto your chest, forcing the thoughts of him only being 17 out ofyour head. You had to forget about that kind of thing – he offeredtobe locked up.

Andbesides – you had a lot more severe things on your mind than LightYagami.

Nothinghad happened. No big disaster, no insult was given to you. You hadgone to work, just like any normal day, and had done your job andeverything was fine. You had laughed whilst you sipped tea withMadsuda. You had discussed plans with your boyfriend, pretended youhad an interest in anything he was saying about anything any more.

Youdidn't. You used to have an interest in it, but it was difficult tocare about anything whenever all you can think about is death.

Thatwas what did it for you, though. The realisation that you neededhelp. The fear of getting that help. Ending it just seemed like themost obvious option, a simple solution to a problem which had beenhaunting you forever.

Soyou did it. You caved. Snapped. You left the computer running, thesound of Light screaming being the last thing you heard before thepills were being lodged in your throat and everything was spinningand your head was slapping off of the tiled bathroom floor before itwas like the galaxy had swallowed you up, leaving you to just beanother failed attempt at happiness.

Ldidn't want to visit you at first.

Hewas finallygettinga rest from sitting and staring at a screaming 17 year old all day.He was finally being able to catch up on every other aspect of thecase, focus on some more people, perhaps get an even larger suspectlist.

Butthe thought of you being in his office on your own was daunting tohim, and so he persuaded Watari to let him go and see you, if onlyfor a moment.

Ofcourse he had noticed your change in mood as of recently. He wasn't astupid man. He saw how your smiles lasted shorter and shorter, howyour eyes no longer lit up whenever you laughed, the way your handswere constantly shaking.

Youwere always anxious, and always needed that little bit morereassurance than everybody else, but it was getting to the pointwhere he was beginning to worry.

Onlyyou could make L worry in the way he currently was.

Andit wasn't a simple 'anxiety' feeling. It wasn't just nerves. It wasgenuine worry – a worry to leave you alone. It wasn't normal toworry for somebodies life just because they had nobody to occupythem.

Sothe moment he walked into his office to see the computer screen stillblaring but you nowhere in sight, his entire being crumbled aroundhim. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, a small light being seenfrom beneath it.

“Ohno, Y/N,” he whispers, before launching himself towards thebathroom door. It was like somebody had shaken the monotone,slow-moving personality out of him, leaving only the worried state hewas currently in as he pushed open the bathroom door.

Henearly stepped on your hand – yourhand. Sprawledacross the bathroom floor, foam bubbling at the corners of yourmouth, your eyes shut.

Lhad seen multiple dead bodies in his time. He had seen overdosevictims, heart attack victims, murder victims that were so brutallykilled that you couldn't even make out their features. But seeingyou, not even dead, laying on the bathroom floor in this state wasworse than any of those put together.

Awail escapes him before he can even catch it. He crumbles to hisknees, immediately getting to work on checking your pulse. Relieffloods him as the soft thump of your pulse grabs at his fingertips,but it isn't enough. You aren't awake, and if he were to wait anylonger, he would no longer be able to feel your pulse.

Hewatches you get carried into the hospital room. He stays in thewaiting room for days, refusing to leave. Criminals are being killedon the daily, and the suspect list is still short, and Light is stilllocked up, and his co-workers are still panicked because of the fateof the world.

Ldidn't care. He wasn't leaving.

Theday you finally woke up, L made it a priority for him to be the firstperson you saw when you were stable enough.

Hesat in the corner of your hospital room, watching you pull yourselfawake after your final surgery was successful. The pills had beenpumped from your stomach, but that still left the long-lasting damageof the failed organs you had suffered through. The doctor hadinformed L that only her liver had failed due to the time it took forhim to get there – he meant it in a good way. A way to say “Itcould have been much worse had you not showed up,” but L stilldidn't feel like it was enough.

Youshouldn't have felt the need to take that amount of pills in thefirst place. He should have paid more attention.

“Don'tfrown like that, Ryuzaki,” you croak out before your eyes are evenopen. “You look like a slapped bulldog.”

Lcontinued to frown, looking at you with sad eyes. Your eyes peelthemselves open, finally making note of the oddly-sitting man in thefar corner of your hospital room. A sigh escapes your lips – one ofembarrassment, one of shame, one of guilt. You were almost positiveyou had taken enough pills so this meeting wouldn't have had to havehappened.

“I'msorry,” you say. “I'm so sorry. You look so tired. I didn't – Iwasn't thinking.”

“You were thinking,” L interrupts, thesound of your cracking voice too much to bare after everything he hadseen you go through in the last two days. Surgeries, mental healthspecialists coming in and out of your room as if you were about totell them everything whilst you were in a damn coma. “You were justthinking about the wrong things, and that's okay.”

Youclose your eyes and tilt your head back. “How do you always dothat?”

“Dowhat?”

“Justforgive andforget. Iput you through hell, didn't I? I was being selfish, and you just sitthere and tell me it's okay.”

“Because it isokay,”he insists. You look at him now, full and front. His beautiful ravenhair which always manages to be completely out of shape, his crispwhite shirt which hangs off of his body loosely, his pale skin. “It'sokay to feel bad sometimes, Y/N. It's okay to be depressed.It'sokay to have mental health issues. But it's not okay to think it'sthat much of an issue that you have to try and end it completely.”

“I'msorry.”

“There's no need to be,” he mumbles, ducking hishead down. “I just – I need you to know that there's easier waysto handle your bad thoughts. They may take longer, and they may seemcompletely helpless at first, but I'll get you help, Y/N. The bestkind of help, because I cannotgothrough what I just went through again. I can't.”

Yourlip wobbles, emotions grabbing at your chest. “God, I love you somuch, Ryuzaki.”

Hesmiles, and it's faint, barely there. Filled with exhaustion, thoughthat's nothing different from what you're used to seeing. “I loveyou too, Y/N.”

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