#wasting his money and also I can’t waste his money I must get this degrrr

[asexualjedi]

Just spiraling being like 🤪🤪🤪 what am I doing with my life I miss art I miss making videos I miss making coming and animation do I really want to do law. And logically I don’t really think I would want to move away from everyone I know to move to where I would need to be to do film or tv and animation. So like. 🔫🔫 accept it. And like I think helping people is something I’m very passionate about and will make me happy and I think if I just did art and comics I would feel bad about like big things like prison abolition and how terrible people are treated in our justice system is would bother and upset me and at least I can feel productive. But idk idk what to do. I just don’t know what is my anti drepressants or what. But truly working for the knife by Mitski whenever I watch tv or see cool art I get really depressed and yearn to be doing that stuff and idk what to do??? Like did/do I define my identity to much to being an artist but idk. I want to make things I misss working with people to make things and I know as a lawyer I will collaborate a lot. A lot of what u do seems so not fun and miserable and idk idk. But I’ve spent so much money and also i going to law school allowed my friend to have housing for foreseeably 3 years. Do I just get the JD and end up completely turning around and doing fucking. Like?? Entertainment law but in my head that’s always just disneys evil lawyers idk.

#I don’t know how much of this is my depression and how much is like a real genuine I #thing bc I’ve always had problems with like since I was like 8 or even younger as long as I can remember I’ve had issues with regret being l #like after making a choice freaking out like I’ll never be able to do the other choice was this the right one like even for shit like I took #this summer camp instead of another and I’ve been able to manage as good as ai can but with this such a big decision #idk #like it was easier when I decided not to bc o to like a big art school bc that was saving money right and I could still take art classes #and major in it #here I’m loosing moneh spending so much money and i technically could do art but I don’t have time and law school mental illness I have no #inspiration motivation #and like I know I have been trouble with motivation creation like was my most depressed and mentally I’ll in high school and freshman of #college but I also created my most art then I was drawing all the time and happy and also very depressed it’s hard to explain #and now I. like. I haven’t done art in so long since last summer #and people’s housing is on me know. and ive already spent so much #money specifically im so lucky my dad is paying for my school BUT my dad is paying for my school I both want to drop out incase im #wasting his money and also I can’t waste his money I must get this degrrr #but will I be happy #idk I accidentally didn’t take my anti depressants mayeb yesterday and this morning #I took them this afternoon but I’ve also been depressed lately that’s. ahhh #I’m haha #girl help #Kelly talks