#wanted. everyone was like super shocked during auditions though bc we all thought he was a shoe-in for dimitry esp since seniors get | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shinjaeha · 3 years

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ipytm ep 2 (thoughts + spoilers)

i’ve been trying my hardest to forget about iptym during the week so the countdown to each new ep won’t feel as long, but i don’t think i’ve succeeded. with each new ep i feel more and more nervous and excited bc i know the conflict and angst is only going to keep ramping up as the series goes on (and this ep was a good indication of that...not FULL BLOWN angst yet, but the undercurrent of angst is slowly starting to come to the surface). i’m def more prepared for it than i was during itsay, but that doesn’t make it easy ;;;

the standard ‘this is not a proper analysis’ here...i’m completely aware that this post in particular is really messy, but i just had a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts with this ep. one day i will learn how to condense my thoughts better, but today is not that day so i’m doing this under a read more for once bc it’s embarrassingly long 😂

we start off with teh in acting class where his teacher is explaining how you need to be able to understand yourself before you’re able to understand other people (and therefore put yourself in the shoes of the character you’re playing)...which even before i knew where this ep was going to go felt a lot like foreshadowing for the events that were going to unfold in this ep.

the acting exercises are basically a lot like the ones that we see bkpp (and the rest of the cast) having to do as part of their workshops in the documentary eps, so it’s kind of cool to see them incorporate parts of that into the actual show itself. feels more authentic since, if you’ve watched the documentary eps, you know that this is actually what the actors have to go through when they’re learning to let themselves go and get into character.

so through this montage of all of teh’s classes, we get to see how much he’s enjoying learning more and more about his major. it’s truly his passion, and he’s finally in his element. and it’s great that he’s surrounded by so many seniors that are also as driven and passionate about performing as he is...i find it interesting how teh, even from the start, has always been most attracted to people that have the same sense of ambitiousness as he does. in itsay, his best friend (aside from oh-aew obv) was tarn, who had a very similar mindset as him. so here, it’s not really that much of a surprise that all his uni friends are basically the drama club seniors that he sees as role models. oh-aew is kind of that one outlier bc he doesn’t fit that same mould/personality type that teh tends to surround himself with, which is where you can already start to see the discord between them arising. in itsay, bc oh-aew was working towards the same end goal as teh at the time, it wasn’t as much of a conflict. but in ipytm we can see that their paths are starting to diverge more and more. that being said, oh-aew’s someone that teh truly needs in his life bc he offers a different perspective to most of teh’s other friends, and as we can see later on, teh REALLY needs that.

now THIS was one of the interactions i was really interested in. we already knew from the ep 2 teaser that teh isn’t exactly happy with oh-aew’s new friend group, so i’ve been waiting to see how teh acts when he’s around them. everyone’s at q’s house celebrating plug’s birthday, and honestly?? they’re all really sweet and accommodating of teh (they get him sweet drinks bc teh tells them that he doesn’t drink bc it’s too bitter, and they don’t pressure him when he says he can’t drink bc he’s got morning classes). but then the conversation turns to teh and oh-aew becoming actors and earning lots of money (and how convenient that is), and teh starts to get a little riled up. i don’t think they mean anything by what they’re saying (they’re just playing around), but we know that teh's sensitive to this sort of thing, and i think to him, it’s almost like they’re saying it’s ‘easy’ to become an actor and start making bank. teh, who already knows how hard it is (esp since he’s been watching how difficult it’s been for khim in particular), starts getting defensive about it. the focus being on money hits a nerve with him too bc teh is very clearly majoring in comm arts bc it’s his dream, not bc of the money he could make from it. teh and oh-aew’s gang are just on different wavelengths, and you can really start to see how teh’s having trouble bonding with oh-aew’s gang bc of their differing mindsets.

it makes me slightly sad that you can see how worried oh-aew is about teh and his friends not meshing. it’s like we, the audience, are all feeling what oh-aew is feeling...his nervous glances at teh bc he’s afraid that teh might not like them. and the discomfort on teh’s part too. all of oh-aew friends tend to be a lot more like him, relaxed and happy to go with the flow, but we know that teh can be pretty rigid and intense about the things that he’s passionate about. oh-aew recognises this, which is why he’s as anxious as he is in the first place.

oh-aew’s tea tattoo in honour of teh is actually so sweet 😭 it shows how much teh means to him. he really got a permanent mark on his body to symbolise his love for his boyfriend ;;; but from teh’s perspective, it’s literally that first mark of change. it IS a pretty big decision, so i don’t blame teh for being shocked about it, but teh likely sees this as oh-aew’s friends being a ‘bad’ influence on him (which we know gets brought up again later). not bc of the tattoo itself, but bc of what it represents. it’s like he’s watching oh-aew start to change before his very eyes and he doesn’t know how to deal with that so he brushes it away for now.

the framing of that shot where teh and oh-aew are facing each other and then q comes to walk in between them is A LOT like how they used to frame the both of them in itsay and having bas walk in between them. interesting.

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THE FACT THAT OH-AEW SPEAKS CHINESE WHEN HE’S DRUNK...that’s just plain adorable :’) it’s like he’s reverting back to when teh was teaching him chinese and they were first falling in love again. teh’s method of getting close to him was always tutoring oh-aew in chinese, so it’s as though oh-aew is trying to feel closer to teh again by speaking chinese to him. sort of like he’s trying to recreate that feeling all over again. i also love that this is basically the opposite of that oppo short film ad bkpp did haha.

we got the “ke yi ma” “ke yi” again ;;;;;;;; i love their little domestic moments. they’re so soft when they’re like this (i know we’re gonna have to weather the angst, but i hope we still have a lot more fluffy moments like this too pls). side note, i really love the lighting in these scenes!!

when oh-aew reads teh’s note about the kimchi jjigae and smiles but then reads the “do not skip class” and his smile fades away...oh, oh-aew, i feel u.

so now we get to see oh-aew in acting class, and the difference between oh-aew’s feelings towards class and teh’s feelings are like night and day. teh’s classes make him feel so fulfilled...this is genuinely something that he wants to do. but oh-aew is struggling. he doesn’t have that same sense of purpose as teh bc he’s starting to realise that this might not be what he really wants...he’s trying but just not enjoying it at all. when teh tells him about the casting call, i feel so much dread for him bc he’s clearly not looking forward to it whatsoever, but he knows how much this means to teh...so he’s willing to ignore his feelings for now if teh’s happy :(

is it just me or was this when oh-aew stopped carrying his ‘heart attack’ bag too??

idk this struggle in particular just feels so personal to me. i really identify with oh-aew when it comes to this bc when i was at uni i changed my major like 3-4 times (and changed unis a bunch of times on top of that) bc i had NO IDEA what i wanted to do. even now, i still have no clue what i’m doing a lot of the time. i’m glad that oh-aew at least managed to find some sort of clarity when he dropped in on his friends’ advertising class and realised that this was something that he enjoyed and was good at :’)

teh’s so excited and focussed on this audition that he can’t even see how worried and reluctant that oh-aew is about this. he wants them to have the same dream so bad that he can’t see that this might not be oh-aew’s dream anymore. but anyway, oh-aew is the sweetest, best boy as always. he’s so, so encouraging with teh. so patient. he really such a great balance to teh’s more volatile nature...but that contrast is also what makes you feel so bad for him when teh lashes out at him without thinking (as he’s prone to doing).

i LOVE khim. i just have so much respect for her. she’s always trying her hardest, and it’s painful to see her give so much of herself yet constantly be knocked down. the resilience that takes. i know that that’s part of the industry she’s in, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. there’s a lot to be said about how harsh the entertainment industry can be (and the inherent ageism/sexism/homophobia within it), which i don’t have the time to go into here, but having to hear criticism like that...purely based on your looks (you don’t look smart enough, young enough, manly enough, etc.) is so incredibly disheartening. teh commenting on how harsh it is, and khim saying that it’s super common and telling the both of them how they’re gonna have to go through all of that the more casting calls they go to...OF COURSE oh-aew is only going to feel even more dispirited about this when he’s already realising that this might not be his thing anymore.

being able to take rejection and criticism is really fucking difficult (i know i could never do it)...and seeing oh-aew being told that he’s not ‘manly’ enough/too ‘girly’ in acting class and again at the casting call is yet another knock at his confidence. the way you physically see oh-aew get more flustered and anxious as the audition goes on, when he sees the crew shaking their heads at him :((( i feel all the nervousness, anxiety and embarrassment that he’s feeling right down to my very bones. then to walk out from that audition to khim talking about how damn hard it is to keep doing this time and time again only to be continually rejected?? my poor boy :( what’s fascinating to me is how differently the both of them interpret khim’s speech. teh latches on to her words and sees them as motivation to keep going...to keep trying and persevering. like a challenge. but to oh-aew, he just sees the difficulty and rejection. the instability of this career path, and how hard this could potentially be on his family as well. they’re both hearing completely different things.

teh being so happy about his audition even though he didn’t get the part and the way he turns around to face oh-aew directly when oh-aew tells him they said he was “too girly” and how he couldn’t change his personality to be what they wanted :((( pls. i just want to hug him so bad. teh’s “i like you the way you are now” and reassurance that so many other people do too 😭i know he kind of makes a mess of himself later on, but i’m still so glad that oh-aew got to hear that from him at least.

this show is the best at making you feel all that nervousness and anxiety when any of the characters are about to drop some big news. i was waiting with bated breath when oh-aew told teh he wanted to transfer majors. it makes me sad though that oh-aew has to constantly feel like he’s walking on eggshells when it comes to teh...he’s always most worried about teh’s reaction, and that’s prob the main reason why he didn’t opt out of comm arts even earlier. but oh-aew has all these mounting doubts about his major, and there’s only so long he can stick it out for teh’s sake, and the casting call (and khim’s words) really solidified that for him.

teh’s "you haven’t given it your all”/”you haven’t done your best” rubs me the wrong way bc it’s easy to think that way when you’re set on something and know that that’s what you want to do...but when you’re doubting/not sure about something, it just isn’t the same thing. we all have different thresholds when it comes to what we can endure and how much we can put into something. teh’s a hard worker, we’ve seen how dedicated he can be when he really wants something, but not everyone works like this. not everyone can be a teh or a khim. and esp not when they’re having to give their all to something that doesn’t feel right for them. and oh-aew’s right...sometimes once is enough to know that something’s not a fit for you.

when oh-aew mentions that he sat in on advertising class and thinks he might be into it, it’s like a parallel of that scene when they’re kids and oh-aew told teh that he wanted to become an actor like him. only now it’s the opposite. teh’s had this plan in his head that he and oh-aew are going to reach their dream of becoming actors and the lead protagonists in a movie/series together for so long now that it’s hard for him to reconcile that oh-aew might no longer want this as much as he does anymore. it’s like he can see this ultimate goal of his crumbling. so just hearing that it’s bc of q and the rest of the gang’s ‘influence’ that oh-aew sat in on their advertising class in the first place (and this triggered his interest in advertising) is like strike two for teh vs. oh-aew’s friends.

i’ve def mentioned this before, but oh-aew has always been the more pragmatic of the two, whilst teh is more idealistic, so i understand why he would gravitate towards something that was more stable of a career for him. more of a guarantee. he knows that advertising/marketing suits him better (not to mention that he’s always had the resort as his safety to fall back on too), and it’s something that he’s discovering he actually enjoys more in general too.

when i first watched this, i was like “oh wow teh’s matured so much!!” bc he didn’t blow up at oh-aew during this scene...that kind of ended up backfiring on me towards the end, but at the same time, i do think there’s a certain level of growth there since he does end up trying to reassure oh-aew (even if the blow up still occurs later on). it’s a process though...and even baby steps are progress.

8 months later and teh’s walking past that same place he and oh-aew walked by during his first night in bangkok...only now the poster is no longer the same red one. it’s blue... as though it’s signifying that this is just teh’s dream alone now, and teh clearly still hasn’t come to terms with that yet.

i’m really happy seeing oh-aew in a much better place now!! it’s so good to see him happy and actually involved in uni with his friends. but watching teh struggle going through casting calls and rejections makes my heart ache. hearing khim’s experience with auditions, and actually having to experience it irl, are two entirely different things. it’s like the reality of the situation is starting to hit in for teh. and that, on top of oh-aew not being there to support him in the same way bc their goals in life aren’t similarly aligned anymore, is starting to take its toll.

god, when teh lined oh-aew and was waiting for his response i was like nooooo don’t do it DON’T DO IT only for him to open ig to check oh-aew’s story 😭(though it IS cute that they have couple pfps). but we’re regressing. and now that they have different social circles it’s even harder to connect than before. teh feels like oh-aew’s being pulled away from him, into another friend group that doesn’t include him...and his insecurities are bubbling to the surface again. teh’s always needed that reassurance that he’s ‘special’ to oh-aew. clearly, we know that he is...but even now that they’re dating, it’s still something that he questions. and esp now that oh-aew is starting to feel like he’s fading further and further away out of reach.

i love seeing all of teh’s friends encourage him. they all understand how tough it is, and to see them all pull together to lift his spirits again is so lovely. but then his mood completely changes again when oh-aew comes to join them for dinner :( teh’s doing that thing again where he says everything’s fine when everything’s not fine (cue that “they ask you how you are and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine” meme). the flash to teh’s face when top says that he didn’t pass the exam to get into anantasart, and you know he’s just thinking about how he gave up his spot for oh-aew initially, and now that oh-aew’s transferred, it’s kind of like he’s turned it down twice. oof.

when teh tells them all that oh-aew’s transferred to advertising, it’s as though this is his way of trying to separate both his worlds. like oh-aew doesn’t belong here with his drama club friends, and it’s that pettiness that we got from teh in itsay is back in full force all over again. it reminds me so much of that time oh-aew told the itsay gang that he was a virgin, and so teh told his friends at school that he was a virgin too. or when oh-aew sent him that picture of his and bas’ legs touching, so teh retaliated by putting that pic of tarn on his story and leaning in to kiss her. it’s like he always needs to one up oh-aew. he doesn’t want oh-aew to feel the same bond with his drama club friends that teh has (esp when he sees that oh-aew is so close to his uni friends). where oh-aew was anxious about teh and his uni friends not getting on, teh is anxious that oh-aew and his drama club friends will get on too well so he has to create this distinction between them. kind of like his petty attempt to be all “i have my own friends too!!”, but it’s also combined with that feeling of inadequacy that he might not fit into oh-aew’s life anymore. he might not be ‘special’. idk if that makes sense but basically i think that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things during this scene.

when he starts attacking oh-aew at dinner...that was really hard to watch. you ever feel like you want to reach through the screen and just put your hand over someone’s mouth so they stop talking?? it was rough :/ it’s one thing to fight when it’s just the two of you alone, but it’s another thing to tear your partner down right in front of your friends. i understand teh’s feelings (and i know that they’ve been building up over this time), but my frustration was through the ROOF during this. it’s on brand for him, but still. and then poor khim :( i know oh-aew didn’t mean it in that way but the awkwardness of this entire dinner was just overwhelming.

another thing that’s sad about what teh said about oh-aew is that this is a huge sore spot for oh-aew, and it’s always been one of his biggest insecurities. the reason they stopped being friends when they were kids was bc teh said that he was going to quit eventually, so for teh to talk about how “shilly shally and indecisive” he is/how easily he ‘quits’ at things is a low blow when he already knows how much those words hurt oh-aew.

teh has a habit of jumping to conclusions based on oh-aew’s social media posts instead of actually talking things out with oh-aew so naturally it would make an appearance again here as well. and calling oh-aew’s friends “shitty” bc they’re different to him (aren’t as driven as teh and his drama club gang...therefore a bad influence on oh-aew) makes it really evident that teh still has a lot to learn. he really needs to start taking those acting class lessons to heart so he can see that not everyone is the same, and that other peoples’ experiences and perspectives are valid too.

teh’s long pause and “maybe” to oh-aew’s “and if this is what i really am, you’re not gonna like me anymore, are you?” BIG SIGH. it’s so typical of teh. i know he’s honest to a fault, but he REALLY needs to learn to think before he speaks sometimes bc he always ends up regretting it. i love that impulsivity of his, but it’s also one of the most frustrating things about him.

one thing that i find kind of annoying with the time skip is that we miss so much of teh’s festering feelings that it’s a bit harder to empathise with him when he has his eventual blow up?? i think if we were seeing this more consistently, it would be much easier for us to understand things from his pov better. like if we could slowly see this building up more and more as time went on, rather than just time skipping the 8 months until the blow up.

anyway, now khim and top are graduating ;;; i really hope that we’ll still get to see more of them in the next eps. i also love how the people in teh’s life are always so concerned for him (and how oh-aew’s doing). the message behind the book teh gets for khim’s graduation present is really sweet.

when khim first tells them that she’s going to be a flight attendant and teh blows up, i felt really angry at him initially. but upon reflection and rewatching this ep again...i think i understand where he’s coming from a lot better now. obv i still think he was out of line bc of course what khim’s saying makes sense...she can’t keep going to casting calls and scraping by with minor roles when she has to support herself and her family. in the end, we all need money to survive, and sometimes we have to be realistic about it. i really loved what she said about how we can have multiple dreams at once. but yeah, my heart really went out for her so much here :( it might be difficult for teh to see (or accept) rn, but he’s a lot more privileged than he realises. he still has hoon and his mother to support him financially, but not everyone is in the same position. not everyone gets to be as lucky.

regardless, i still understand why teh gets as torn up about it as he does. khim is someone that he’s looked up to and respected SO much...and his own doubts and insecurities have been steadily increasing. first, oh-aew changes majors, then, he keeps getting rejected at auditions, and now, the senior that he respects the most bc of her hard work and determination, is giving up her dream (at least in his eyes) to become a flight attendant. it’s like the world keeps telling him to give up bc it’s not going to work out for him. and he’s invested EVERYTHING into this dream. it’s all or nothing for him. but it’s like everyone else is slipping away, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold onto.

when teh looks at the tie and is reminded of oh-aew always being there to put it on for him :(((((((( ngl i was hoping that teh would be the first one to approach oh-aew (since their fight was bc of him), but i’m glad he apologised at least. and that they had a good talk about their feelings. but then again, this reflection after their fights is what they’ve always been fairly good at. teh just has to learn to stop internalising things so much that he ends up exploding so they don’t get to this point in the first place. so much has flipped from the first ep where oh-aew was the one feeling lonely and out of place. now it’s teh’s turn to feel all alone as he sees everyone’s dreams and goals (but his) start to change. like everyone is moving on and learning to adjust while he’s being left behind.

when they’re promising each other that their love for one another will never change, it just makes me feel so SAD. seeing them in the moonlight like this compared to the first ep when they were on the beach in phuket and teh was so hopeful and oh-aew was so worried :( everything’s already changed so much. making this promise under the moon like this reminds me of how bkpp kept talking about how the ‘ipytm’ title itself means an impossible promise...the two of them hugging in the moonlight as the score plays just feels so painfully bittersweet somehow ;;; my heart is aching, and i want the next ep, but i can’t deny that my anxiety is slowly building.

anyway, i know the end of this sounds so negative but i’m still banking on our teh/oh-aew endgame!!!!!!! it just needs to get worse to get better, and there’s still so much space for them to grow and learn. so many more experiences in store for them.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #text #i'm sorry this is so long and that it took so long #if you read this whole thing you deserve some type of medal bc idk HOW it got to this point #if only i was able to be this dedicated to my assessments back when i was studying #i was mad with teh during the first watch but that simmered down a whole lot during the second watch #i think it's just hurts me to see him keep shooting himself in the foot #but i know that you mature through your experiences and the way he acts in this is still so consistent with his character #just...can he not hurt oh-aew like this. i just don't want to see him sad anymore pls stop making him sad #ok i'm going to sleep now peace out and until next week where hopefully there'll be some structure to my thoughts for once

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yanyan-chen · 6 years

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COLLEGE AUーDING ZEREN pt.1

•have you seen this boy dance??

•because WOW

•did i fall for him the second he started dancing???? yes

•ok on with the story

•zeren has been dancing for as long as he could remember,,

•boy was probably dancing in his mother’s womb lol

•whenever he heard music, his body couldn’t help but move along to the beats no matter where he was. like he’d tap his feet,, or bop his head,, or do little arm movements,,,sometimes he forgets about his surroundings,,,,like once,,, he was at a cafe w his friends right

•and he started grooving to the song,,,and as the song went on, his movements got wider,,,and then his elbow hit quanzhe’s drink

•let’s just say that zeren spent almost the entire day trying to remove the stain from the poor kid’s shirt

•only to have to spend $30 buying a new shirt

•and have quanzhe swear that he’ll never sit next to zeren again

•anyways,,

•he’s been in various dance competitions and either won first or second place, never anything less

•dancing was something that meant a lot to him. whenever he was stressed or overwhelmed, he would dance to relax his mind

•so when he got to college, he obviously chose to be a dance major

•he even became one of the leaders of the university’s dance team and always performed at festivals

•dance team also consisted of zhengting, jieqiong, and chengxiao

•so speaking of the dance team

•they were holding auditions soon to recruit two more members to fill in for the members that just graduated

•guess who decided to try out!!!

•if you guessed that it was you

•ding ding ding zeren you’re correct

•dancing was also something that you loved ever since you were a kid

•you loved how dancing allowed you to freely express yourself through all sorts of movements and there were no restrictions on what you had to do

•contrary to your life

•your parents expected you to become a doctor or just anything in the medical field. nothing else was allowed. they always disregarded your dreams and forced you to live the way they wanted you to. they’re always comparing you to their friends’ children too. like “so-and-so got accepted to one of the top universities. why aren’t you putting in more effort to be like him?” “so-and-so got all 100s on her report card, why aren’t you putting in more effort to be like her?”

•”why aren’t you putting in more effort to” was a phrase that you constantly heard throughout your life. they were never satisfied with your accomplishments. whenever you get high 90s on anything, they ask why didn’t you get 100s. they always say you don’t put in enough effort or you’re doing things half-heartedly when you really work as hard, if not harder, than the highest achievers. even when you get academic awards, they say “that’s how it should be”

•all you want is for them to acknowledge your achievements even if it’s just ONCE

•so when you got to college, you decided to go to one that was far from your home

•it also so happened to be the one your best friend, chengcheng, was going to, so you were more than content. you chose to be a pharmaceutical sciences major to satisfy your parents’ wish, but chose to try out for the dance team so you had something you were interested in in college. you wanted to join in your first year of college, but it was full ///:

•but not anymore !!

•so! onto auditions

•it was set to be in the afternoon exactly a week after the first semester began, and chengcheng went with you for support, but also because another good friend of his would be there

•you sat in one of the seats as you waited for your turn, and everyone was really talented so you were lowkey Shook™ and wanted to run away bc there’s no way that you can win against them?? but chengcheng wouldn’t let you

•when it was finally your turn, you were like !!!! the whole time you walked onto the stage. it’s not like you lacked confidence or anything, you were just nervous........cause y’kno......one of the judges was none other than THE ding zeren

•you’ve always watched him dance at festivals and you admired him a lot. not only did he have good as hECK looks, but he was such a skilled dancer

•but hey, you weren’t the only one admiring him. bc at one of the festivals, he was walking around w the dance team when he noticed you at your group’s stand selling snacks and his heart skipped a beat bc ?? you’re so beautiful ??? who are you ??? and before he could go to you, zzt pulled him away saying that they needed to prepare to perform soon. so today, he was determined to find out who you are and talk to you. but then he looked at your application form and was surprised bc ?? a pharmaceutical major?? joining the dance team???? everyone that auditioned so far were dance majors or fine arts majors. so as cute as you were, he was ready to complain to ting about how they’re gonna waste their time by watching your performance bc he really wasn’t expecting you to know how to dance, but no he froze the second you started moving. you were so graceful ??? and you controlled all of your movements so well. you hit every beat of the song and you gained more confidence as you danced

•soon, it was over and zeren over here was like :O

•so were all the other dance team members tbh

•cause, as yixing would’ve said, you had the balance

•they all unanimously agreed to recruit you

•after a couple more people performed, the dance members got together to choose the last person to join. then, zhengting came up on the stage. “thank you to all of you for showing your interest in joining our dance team!! you all are very talented, but sadly, we can only choose two members” he proceeded to give a little speech about how they shouldn’t give up even if they aren’t selected and that they should try again next time. when he finally announced the names, you were on the edge of your seat with your hand tightly holding chengcheng’s. “the first member we are accepting is.......zhou yanchen!” the auditorium erupted in applauds, and it took a few minutes for it to die down. “and the last member is....” you could only vaguely hear your name bc chengcheng immediately started screaming and jumped out of his seat. “I TOLD YOU THAT YOU’D MAKE IT I’M SO PROUD OF YOU” he’s such a precious kid i love him. lots of people were applauding for you too. you were still in shock when chengcheng shook you and nodded his head towards the stage, indicating you were supposed to be going up. you quickly stood up and nearly tripped as you made your way to the stage. you and yanchen bowed to the audience and judges before thanking them. the whole time, zeren couldn’t take his eyes off of you. he was awestruck by your talent and on top of that, you were gorgeous bro

•after auditions, chengcheng ran up onto the stage where you still stood, talking to yanchen. you saw him running up and expected him to go to you,, but nope he turned the opposite way and went up to zeren

•was he the friend that chengcheng was talking about??? THE ding zeren is friends with your idiot chengcheng?????? you were frozen as you stood there, staring at chengcheng and zeren speaking

•you only snapped out of it when zhengting came and started to tell you and yanchen more details about practice

•fast forward to a week later

•spring was coming !!! meaning that the spring festival was coming soon!! fun activities !!! cool performances !!!! gOoD fOoD !!!!!!!!

•so it’s been a decent amount of time since you were accepted, so you became fairly close with all of the members, especially yanchen and chengxiao. you and zeren only had small talk every now and then about the choreography, when practices were, or something stupid that chengcheng did recently

•anw back to the festival! the committee in charge of getting the festival ready decided bring back the romance concept. cause y’kno like flowers, love blossoms during the spring. i’m so poetic

•for the acts, you guys decided to send three groups to perform a medley of couple dances

•the pairings were chengxiao and zhengting, jieqiong and yanchen, and............you and zeren

•you were surprised when zhengting announced the pairings.........bc omg you were gonna dance with ding zeren..........to a couple song !!!!!!!!

•zhengting said the names were randomly chosen but he’s a liar he lowkey thought you two would look cute together but he totally wasn’t planning on telling anyone that. zeren was hoping you’d be his partner too tbh so the boy was thrilled to hear his name being called with yours. he’d been wanting to get to know you more but he never knew what to say or was too shy. but he managed to muster up the courage to ask if you were free that weekend to come up with a choreography

•you were super excited bro

•but had to come off chill so you were like oh,,,, yeah sure

•but on the inside you were screaming with joy

•when the weekend came, zeren knocked on your door. taking a deep breath, you checked your reflection in the mirror quickly before opening the door. you smiled and greeted him as he greeted you back, flashing a grin that exposed his dimples. your heart almost jumped out of your chest because wow he’s so adorable and good-looking??? he was dressed in sweatpants and a normal t-shirt.......but still....how can someone look so good???? you probably looked like a bum

•that’s not what zeren thought though. he thought you looked pretty with your hair tied up, a couple of loose strands framing your face. his gaze went down to your lips and noticed the shade of lipstick you applied was slightly lighter than what you usually had on before they quickly went back up to your eyes. neither of you realized you were just staring at each other until your roommate coughed, making you both flustered before zeren spoke up

•”oh, uh, ready to go?”

•“yeah! let’s go”

•so you both headed over to the practice room. it was kind of an awkward walk bc neither of you knew what to say nor have you been alone together. but halfway there, zeren decided to ask you something he’s been curious about

•“so...how come you’re not a dance major?”

•”ah...my parents didn’t want me to choose that. they wanted me to have a medical profession. it’s fine though, as long as they’re happy.”

•he noticed the hint of sadness in your voice as you said the last sentence, so he chose not to question you further. upon arriving at the practice room, you guys jumped right into it. first, you needed to choose a song. you and zeren looked through a list of songs prepared by ting and didn’t take long to settle with say you won’t let go by james arthur. as you listened to the song, your bodies flowed with the melody. but since this is a love song...........you had to be fairly intimate......and the thing is....... you were both flustered messes. you were either tripping over your own feet or you stepped onto each other’s feet. but overall, you guys were doing well, like you got most of what you needed down. so, you decided to call it a day and head back to your dorm rooms. as you were going back, you debated whether you should ask zeren to join you for dinner since it was already 7pm, but before you opened your mouth, zeren invited you to go to a restaurant with him. the restaurant that he took you to was relatively small and close to campus. as soon as you walked in, you were greeted by a warm aroma of freshly cooked noodles. an elderly woman, whom you assumed was the owner, cheerfully welcomed you in and led you to a table. she took your orders and before she left, she commented that this was the first time zeren came in with a girl and not his rowdy friends, causing zeren to groan and usher her to go away. she only smiled innocently before disappearing into the kitchen. shortly after, she came out with two bowls of noodles

•and it was love at first sight because they looked SO GOOD and after you finished drooling over the food, you tasted it and the taste was even better than its appearance like omg where has this restaurant been all my life. and as you ate your food, zeren started to ask you questions like “when did you start to dance?” and “why do you like to dance?” and once you gave your answers, he’d share his own answers before you asked him some questions

•and this went back and forth until both your bowls were empty. you could feel yourself opening up more with each question and the same thing goes for zeren. zeren hasn’t been able to feel this comfortable around someone that he wasn’t close to before. he really enjoyed being in your company and wished he had talked to you sooner afterwards, he walked you to your dorm before going to his own

•during the next couple of days, you and zeren spent more time together in the practice room (and quickly finished the choreo) and inevitably grew closer. as that happened, you started to notice that you’d see him around campus more often. one morning, you walked by his lecture room and saw him standing outside. you asked him why he didn’t go in and he answered that his teacher was late so he just waited outside. this continued every morning though like you’d see him just standing there on his phone or looking through a notebook, and when you walked by he’d always greet you with a smile and ask if you slept well or make some kind of small talk

•and you’d be lying if you said that wasn’t your favorite way to start your mornings

•he gave you coffee once saying that they messed up his order so he got another coffee for free but for some reason the “messed up” coffee was exactly how you liked your coffee so you were like ???

•other times, you’d pass by him on campus and he’d always wave enthusiastically with both hands no matter how far he was from you and honestly that’s just the cutest thing ever. or he would end the conversation with whoever he was talking to and then run over to you and ask where you were going next and he’d walk with you to your next class

•one morning, you walked by zeren’s class and didn’t see him. you thought that he must’ve just overslept, so you continued to your class. but afterwards, you still didn’t see him at the usual spots that he’d be hanging around, so you decided to call him, but he didn’t pick up. when you saw one of his friends walk by, you asked if he’s seen zeren but he said he hasn’t seen him since yesterday afternoon. worried, you decided to head over to his dorm to see if he was there. as you were walking to his dorm, it started to rain. you cursed under your breath as you began to run to the dormitory, but you still ended up getting soaked. upon arriving, you walked down the hallway, unsure which room was his. probably should’ve thought of that before coming but anw. as you continued down the hall, chengcheng came out of one of the rooms and saw you. “HEY, IT’S Y/N! wait, are you okay? you might catch a cold like that”

•”i’m fine! don’t worry. have you seen zeren? i haven’t seen him all morning and he wasn’t picking up my calls so i wanted to check if he was okay”

•”have you checked the library? he was having trouble sleeping last night so he went there”

•”oh, i’ll go there now. thanks” and you turned to leave but then started sneezing continuously. chengcheng took off his hoodie and threw it over your head

•”put that on. you’re already getting sick” and you thanked him again before pulling it over your head and going to the library. chengcheng just watched you leave and sighed. “they obviously like each other but they’re too dumb to realize it”

•when you got to the library, you went all around it but couldn’t find him. as you were leaving, you bumped into zhengting. you asked if he’s seen zeren, and he replied that zeren just woke up and is heading over to his class now. you were relieved to hear that he was okay, but now you were concerned about yourself because you were shivering and constantly sneezing. zhengting offered to take you to the infirmary or get some medicine for you bc he’s an angel but you declined and said that you should head to class now. anyways after all your classes were over, you went over to the practice room to rehearse. zeren came slightly later than the planned time, and you noticed that he wasn’t his usual upbeat self. like he greeted you half-heartedly and there was just a negative aura surrounding him. and you would’ve tried to cheer him up but you honestly had no stamina left like you really should’ve taken some medicine before coming

•and because of your lack of stamina, you began getting frustrated because you were constantly half a beat off. you could tell zeren was feeling frustrated too but he was trying to hold it in. but as soon as you stepped on his foot for the third time that day, he couldn’t control it anymore. “what’s wrong with you? why aren’t you putting any effort into this? is it because it’s not your major so you don’t care?” you would’ve been fine if he had only said the last sentence. but no his first sentences hit you hard, because memories of all the times that your parents said that to you came rushing back. you immediately grabbed your things and rushed out of the practice room, leaving zeren there alone. his frustration dissipated when he saw the upset expression on your face as you left. he let out a sigh as he went to the back of the room and sat down, leaning against the wall. not too long after you left, chengcheng came running in looking for you

•”where’s y/n??”

•“oh...she just left. why?”

•“i have some medicine for her cold. she was running all over the place looking for you even though it was pouring outside”

•and that’s when it hit him. you got sick while you were worrying about him, and yet you were trying your best to practice

•and he even yelled at you. feeling guilty, he grabbed the medicine from chengcheng and ran out of the practice room

•chengcheng just froze there and stared at his hand

•like bro what just happened

•zeren ran out of the performing arts building but then stopped. where could you have gone?? he contemplated calling you but he doubted you’d pick up. then, he remembered about the place you’d always go to when something upset you

•the rooftop

•the boy nearly flew up the stairs at the speed that he was running at. when he opened the door, he found you sitting with your back against the wall, one earbud in your ear, and your eyes closed. he took in a deep breath as he slowly approached you. you were slightly startled when you felt something nudge you, but relaxed when you saw it was zeren. “uh...hey. here’s your medicine”

•“oh, thanks”

•you were quiet as he explained, slowly starting to feel bad for storming out on him after how badly his day was going. you forgave him, saying that you understood why he acted that way after all that he went through before explaining exactly why you were upset by what he said. he listened attentively as you talked about your parents and all the expectations they had for you, and how they always dismissed it when you met those expectations, and how they were never supportive of you. he apologized again before pulling you into a hug, mumbling how he never meant to hurt you like that, or at all for that matter. you were surprised at first, but quickly returned the hug. zeren decided that there was no way that you could practice in this condition, so he took you back to your dorm. he came back not too long after leaving and brought you a bowl of noodle soup. you expected him to leave afterwards because you were more than thankful that he was that thoughtful, but no he invited himself in saying “my mom said that you should never leave a sick person alone so here i am. let’s watch a movie”

•and that’s how your roommate walked in to a sleeping you and zeren wrapped in a blanket and snuggling on the couch with hercules still playing and an empty bowl on the table

•she def took pictures for future references, and you were both embarrassed messes when she woke you up

•a couple days before the festival, you were completely well again and the three groups practiced together. everything went smoothly and you were all satisfied with how it went. on d-day, you were slightly nervous because this was the first time that you would be performing in front of such a hUGE crowd. but everyone in the dance team especially zeren reassured you that you would do great. after watching a couple of the performances, it was finally your group’s turn. the performance went so much better than you expected. like as soon as you stepped onto the stage, your nervousness melted away. the crowd loved the performance too like they were cheering louder than they did for the other ones

•so yeah!! spring fest performance was a big success, and zeren decided to ask you to go to disney to celebrate with him

•and of course you agreed

•and yanchen overheard him inviting you and he was like wow we used to be best buddies how could u leave me out

•unofficial date at disney!

part two

#ding zeren scenario #ding zeren au #ding zeren imagine #zeren scenario #zeren au #zeren imagine #idol producer scenario #idol producer au #nex7 #yuehua nex7 #idol producer #nex7 au #nex7 scenario

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seonnho · 7 years

Note

Your thoughts on the official members of Wanna One?

first off their group name makes me sknfdjksknjds but what can we do !!

daniel - i’m quite neutral towards him, i think he’s a great dude and talented but i’m not gonna scream over him or anything. was a bit miffed at emoji gate and how after open up won some of his fans were like…. super happy over the fact that he still won in the end…lowkey glorifying cheating…uh ok….also got kinda tired of mnet milking the lil woojin/daniel relationship when they kept showing daniel’s reactions to everything single thing woojin did but that’s not his fault at all and CONGRATS ON FIRST PLACE FOR HIM !! …..just very neutral i’m not over the moon or anything

jihoon - also very neutral…i watched the nayana performance when it first came out and i had a very adverse reaction to his wink oOPS so i was kinda like wut. @ his popularity. he can dance !!! not too sure about his singing/rapping since all that comes to mind is that blasted high note in boy in luv. he’s reeeeally cute but again i’m not gonna scream over him i’m so jealous of his eye shape? it’s so pretty and his jeojang makes me laugh and he’s a smart kid!! like wearing neon shoelaces so ppl can spot him better and all that stuff

daehwi - i rlly liked daehwi’s energy in his intro vids (THE BOX AHHH) cause he seemed so confident and stuff but i have to admit i got pretty pissed at the whole avengers thing, i know he got evil edited and it’s a competition so of course you’d want to win but i just didn’t like how everyone targeted the team with F’s and D’s :/ that was everyone’s mentality tho so not his fault !! i’m over that though and i’m glad he made it !!! he’s a rlly fast learner and his dancing is so good!! and singing too and that english pronunciation !!! his friendship with somi is so wonderful too

jaehwan - vocal god kim jaehwan !!! i like him a lot and i’m shocked he ranked 4th but he deserves it !!!! i’m really happy that he got to debut with minhyun but i’m sad about sewoon :^(( their relationship is so nice and he’s rlly quirky and i his psychopathic laughter skjfkndknjsd. i think he’s a much needed addition to the group vocally…he works rlly hard at dance too and he pulled off sorry sorry and never rlly well….OFFICIAL GOAT OF THE SHOW THAT LETTUCE GIF I’M CRYING

seongwoo - ong deserves it !!!!! what else can i say LOL i’m rlly happy he gets to debut !! he dances well and doesn’t he like….rank real high with male fans WHICH IS !!!!! also super funny sdfgnkds pLS i look forward to seeing more of him and i rlly like his stage presence !!

woojin - my dude……he went from like 75th place to 6th i’m banging pots n pans outside my house rn i thought he was rlly good looking (wHEW) during the audition and i liked his rapping? SO HE WAS ON MY RADAR SINCE THEN and that center performance !!!!! sealed the deal i rlly like his rapping voice and dancing and he’s so cute fdnkjskdnfjs also his dark past i’m screaming i hope that side of him comes out more !!! he performed never with shingles i’m just……..u deserve everything woojin….aLSO SNAGGLETOOTH….ALL I’M GONNA SAY..

guanlin - i love swaggy rapper guanlin a lot and when his gummy smile comes out i’m just like awWWW !!! tbh cube trainees were so precious and endearing? u can make the argument that he’s not talented, only 6 months of training but i just really enjoyed seeing his growth throughout the show. i was scared bc he seemed to have given up during practice for nayana when he was in D class but i think everything turned out ok! he surprised me when he made so many suggestions for the fear performance with the rest of the team i was like !!! yeah! go guanlin!!! and i think he could use some work on enunciation during rapping, esp english (when boa pointed that out i was like :O me too) he’s a curious kid and willing to learn i think that’s one of his really good qualities and also his drop to 20th sdknkfjskndjs i was like hey…..if ur gonna keep him in the top 11 for the majority of the show LET HIM STAY THERE TF…i love guanlin i’m glad he made it :’)

jisung - i’m glad jisung made it !!! when i heard the ranking announcement i was like hey!! u made it !!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!! and when his dad did the circle clap thing i drowned in my tears but i’m looking forward to seeing him on variety shows!! his singing is also rlly nice and maybe he has the best chance of being leader? i’m glad he made it.

minhyun - uM THE ENTIRE REASON I WATCHED THIS SHITFEST WAS FOR NU’EST AND MINHYUN IS MY BIAS AND WHEN HE MADE IT I STARTED BAWLING IT WAS NOT OK my mentality was i’d be happy if minhyun and jonghyun made it but that….did not….happen fuckgnfjdsfdks he looked so sad when everything ended idek what to think but !!! i’ll be supporting him wholeheartedly during his time with wanna one. he has a rlly good eye? he formed the iconic justice league and basically predicted the exact order of the never team n his voice is so soft n nice and i think god blessed him with long legs and good physique anyways i love minhyun a lot i hope i get to see him happy again

jinyoung - uh…………….being very honest here not one of my choices for top 11 so i wasn’t cheering when 10th place was announced :’(( i don’t hate him and every trainee has worked hard but….ok he gained confidence throughout the show!!! that’s real good to hear but i do not like his singing? sounds more like screaming to me idk why the vocal trainers were praising him sjkdkfnds it’s not like i’m qualified to analyze singing but i’m not a big fan of it…..at this point u can prob tell i have something against previous avenger team members…can’t exactly pinpoint what…i guess i don’t get the hype around them/their looks but i will try to warm up to him!! he also bit jihoon tf and his friendship with daehwi is so pure

sungwoon - i like sungwoon!! i had this dream about him n it was horror related and very gruesome and just ???? why tf but after that i was like ok….ha sungwoon…..ok……i see u…..i felt bad for him getting kicked out of never when he did the dance perfectly PLUS HE CAN SING and pure cinnamon roll !!! i don’t have much to say LOL i’m not mad over him being 11th it’s just at that point i was devastated over jonghyun’s rank so i basically tuned out most of top 2 and 11th place reveals :///

THIS IS SO LONG LOL i’m still sad about jonghyun and samuel and i was rlly hoping seonho and hyungseob could make it but THIS IS REALITY AND I’M GOING TO ACCEPT IT AND SUPPORT THEM

#i hope i was respectful to an extent....#not putting this under a read more bc i want ppl to actually read it #sorry if i came off as a jinyoung anti I'M NOT I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO WARM UP TO THE MEMBERS I'M NEUTRAL ABOUT #and i'm honestly very happy about the majority of the line up

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