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julies-butterflies · 3 years

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first lines :: a writing game

rules : list the first lines of your last 20 stories ( if you have less than 20, just list them all! ) see if there are any patterns. choose your favorite opening line. then tag 10 of your favorite authors!! --- i’m going to be ranking mine x / 10, with comments, just for the heck of it.

1. with friends like these ( 2100, gen, phantoms friendship )

“Dude,” says Reggie, after the third — or maybe fourth — time it happens. “You... doin’ okay?”

verdict : starting off with a line of dialogue is always an effective way to throw the audience right into the story, without a lot of build - up exposition. and i... get carried away with the exposition sometimes. this was my first ever JATP fic, so i was just trying to get a feel for the characters voices --- starting off with dialogue felt like a good place to begin! 7 / 10, vague but it works, and i can hear reggie’s voice clearly!

2. even if we hit the ground ( 3200, pre-canon, shameless reggie whump )

It all explodes in an instant, so fast that no one gets the chance to react.

verdict : this line punches!! it’s supposed to punch, it’s supposed to feel like the audience just got caught up in an explosion, because reggie literally does! ( this is the story in which i establish the precedent of Hurting Reggie in my fics, just because he’s there. ) 9 / 10, super effective line

3. if i didn’t know better ( 3500, grief fic, julie centric )

Doctor Turner always said the special days would be the hardest.

verdict : it’s... okay. i mean, it accomplishes what it needs to, but it’s nothing special. this story holds a very dear place in my heart, and might be my favorite --- i wrote it to help cope with my sister’s very recent death, and frankly, it was just what i needed at the time. i love the story as a whole more than this opening line. 5 / 10

4. 21st century (dead) teen rebellion ( 2100, willex, ghoul bois antics )

If Alex knew exactly how he gets talked into half the things he does, he’d know how to avoid them, and his life would be so much easier.

verdict : bahahaha, it’s sad because it’s true!! i love this story, and this line --- while a bit cluttered --- makes me giggle. 7 / 10

5. how to be a heartbreaker ( 7500, luke character study, light jukebox )

Luke learns the danger of a crying woman early.

verdict : this story was a constant surprise. i didn’t expect it to get as long as it did ; i never expected it to take off the way it did, oh my gosh ; and there are parts of it i really like, and parts i’m more ‘meh’ about. this opening line is good, it absolutely works in the scope of the story... i just feel i could have done it better somehow. but... it leads into a whole segment with baby luke, so no regrets. 5 / 10

6. nothing quite like living on the edge ( 6200, missing scene after ‘nothing to lose’ ; the boys trapped at caleb’s club )

By the time Caleb’s song reaches its grand finale, self-control is trickling back to them… slowly, slowly, like the reverberation of the final notes.

verdict : heehee... like the entirety of ‘nothing to lose’, this line is delightfully unnerving. caleb’s weird not-quite-mind-control was a topic i just had to explore in greater detail, so i really took it and ran with it. this isn’t exactly a whump fic, but none of the boys are having a good time... and i get to explore a much darker tone, which works really well with my writing style. overall, one of my favorite stories, and an excellent line. 9 / 10

7. every empty space ( 2900, emily patterson study, growing up luke )

Raising Luke was never easy, even for a moment… but in the beginning, it was a dream come true.

verdict : the first half of this line was the main thesis for the entire story... and i love how it sets up emily’s entire pov, and her arc over the course of 17 years, in a really effective way. ilove writing emily because i relate to her --- i also look at luke and think “my beautiful, stupid son” daily. fun story, great opener. 8 / 10

8. revelations (3200, gen, boys coming back to life, ray finds out )

The night of the Orpheum performance is definitely the start of something… and things never go back to normal after that.

verdict : this is a very sexy leading line! it’s informative, it’s ominous, and sets up a fun story / series. i can get behind this!! 8 / 10

9. sugar, how'd you get so fly? ( 3000, gen, alex learns to fly, help him )

Her mom used to call it the “Mama Spidey Sense”; a very loud, very accurate superpower that only parents have, to let them know when something is Going Down.

verdict : ... meh. i like the idea, it’s a very rose vibe, but. i don’t love it. doesn’t have a lot to do with the rest of the story. i think i just honestly didn’t know how to kick things off. 3 / 10

10. know that it's probably magic ( 4600, gen, soul bonding w/ spirits )

It takes a while for the boys to figure out all the weirdness that comes with being a ghost — and for Julie, on her end, to sort out living with a haunted band.

verdict : opening lines work best when they’re short and pithy. this... feels a bit cluttered, not going to lie. while it definitely sets up the rest of the story, i feel like there was a more concise way to do it, if i just dug around a bit more. i love this story as a whole more than this actual line. ( also, ‘haunted band’?? does that even make sense?? girl... ) 4 / 10

11. still alive but i’m bearly breathing ( 4100, possessed teddy bear )

Honestly, if she hadn’t been zoning out on her history essay long enough for her eyes to wander, Julie might’ve never noticed anything was wrong at all.

verdict : uhhhh.... i don’t know how to talk about this one, actually. midterm season is one hell of a drug. ( another theme in my stories? really putting alex through it. not in a whumpy way, just in a ‘fml’ way. ) fine opening line, 6 / 10

12. regenesis ( 28000, multichapter, reggie whump / backstory )

Carlos is the first one to bring it up.

verdict : this story!! i love this story so much!! while this opening line is the definition of ‘meh’, the story itself is such a favorite, and was so much fun to write. i’d rank the story itself 10/10... this line, though, will have to get 4 / 10

13. paint a picture of it ( 1800, gen, julie + reggie become art buddies )

“These are amazing! You’re really playing with color composition here, I like how you blend it all together.”

verdict : can you tell i’m bullshitting my way through art terminology? oof. i started off this story with an entire conversation, through literally just dialogue ; i don’t love it, but it works well enough. 5 / 10

14. interwoven ( 2500, emily adopts sunset curve via knitting )

They break her heart sometimes, just a bit — her eager boy and his habit of bringing home strays.

verdict : luke and emily patterson, out here once again, breaking my heart. this was a more sympathetic view on emily, yes --- i didn’t want to excuse her canon behavior, and she still has flaws in this story... but she also cares, and tries to be a good mom, in her own way. she loves luke, and she loves his friends too. this line sets that up wonderfully. 9 / 10

15. if i was you (i'd wanna be me too) ( 11000, multichapter, carrie redemption arc-ish?? ; exploring carrie / julie relationship )

Because her dad always has impeccable timing, he picks the night Julie plays at the Orpheum to completely lose his mind.

verdict : oooh, i love this line. poor trevor, but also... this line slaps. it’s just the right amount of carrie-pov bitchiness. while this story is still very much a work in progress, but i love how it’s coming along so far ; it already has so many moments i love ( ‘this band is home’!! ) and writing carrie is an exercise in characters i’m not used to writing. excellent line, 8 / 10

16. kill your heroes (and then kill them again) ( 9500, vampire reggie )

Reggie gets bitten on a Monday. On Tuesday, he goes to band practice.

verdict : EXCELLENT opening line!! it’s short, it’s pithy, it gets right to the point, and you’re sure not going to forget it. i love this line. i love this story. this really set up the story and i’m super happy with it. 10 / 10

17. feast or famine ( 7200, demon goose fic )

In their absolute defense, the boys do not, as they’re later accused of, murder a goose.

verdict : ... listen. this is the best opening line i’ve ever written. it literally doesn’t get better than this, you can’t top this one. the pinnacle has been reached. i will literally never write a line, or a story, more engaging than this one. 200 / 10

18. fall out boy knockoff ( work in progress ; 5 times luke falls while climbing things he really shouldn’t be climbing )

The first thing Luke says when he sets foot in the garage for the first time is, “Whoa! You’re kidding me, you got a loft!”

verdict : starting off with action --- another great way to toss readers right into the story!! this is a fun line that really encapsulates luke’s sheer... chaos gremlin energy. this entire fic radiates chaos gremlin energy, and i can’t wait to post it. 7 / 10

19. i can’t even hear them scream ( work in progress ; all the women in julie’s maternal line have the ability to see ghosts, the boys ain’t special )

Julie is eight months old when she sees her first ghost.

verdict : straightforward! to-the-point!! tosses you right into the plot!! not the most engaging... but i like it, especially as this section of the fic is being told from rose’s point of view, so it comes from a perspective we wouldn’t otherwise get. 6 / 10

20. remembering ( work in progress ; part of the ‘side effects of coming back from the dead’ series, basically an excuse to write sleepy bois )

Even after the spell is broken and Caleb’s stamps are gone, Julie can’t bear to leave the boys alone; the idea that they will vanish when out of her sight, flickering out of existence like candles dying in the rain, is too real, and too awful to endure.

verdict : this... might work better broken up into two sentences. i’m probably gonna do that. technically it works better as two lines, but as an opening sentiment, i love this?? the entire fic has a... very slow, soft, thoughtful vibe, and i like how this line establishes that with a metaphor. excited for this one!! 8 / 10

tagged by : the absolute superstar that is @sunsetcurvecuddles tagging : uhhhhh i don’t know a lot of writers in the fandom i don’t socialize hEL P

#my fics #ur right this literally turned into a fic masterlist

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