incorrect quotes, outlast edition
Y/N: This is such a bad idea.
Miles: Then why are you coming along?
Y/N: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
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Miles: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Trager: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
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Y/N: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Waylon: Mind your language!
Y/N: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Waylon:
Y/N: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
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Y/N: You saved me. I owe you my life.
Blake: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.
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Y/N: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Trager: You mean literally or figuratively?
Y/N: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
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Trager: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
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Chris: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.
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Eddie: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
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Eddie: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Y/N: I think you mean cards.
Eddie, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.
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Walrider: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
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Trager: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Jeremy: Isn't that just killing people?
Trager: Ah, technicality.
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Blake: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Lynn: You would eat yourself?
Blake: I wouldn’t even question it.
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Knoth: What did you do with Marta's body?
Val: What didn’t I do with the body?
Knoth:
Val: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.
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Knoth: You're right.
Val: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
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Marta: God, give me patience.
Val: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Marta: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
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Y/N: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Val: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Y/N: Absolutely not.
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Y/N: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Val:
Marta:
Knoth:
Everyone Else At Y/N’s Surprise Birthday Party:
Val: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
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Lynn, trying to ask Blake out: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Val: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
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Y/N: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.
Val, amazed: Wow...
Eddie, to Val: Well what does that mean?
Val: I don't know.
Val, to Y/N: What does that mean?
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Jessica: We need to get through this locked door. Lynn, give me your credit card.
Lynn: Here.
Jessica, pocketing it: Thanks. Blake, kick down the door.
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Jeremy: If you had to choose between Y/N and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Trager: That depends, how much money are we talking about?
Y/N: Trager!
Jeremy: 63 cents.
Trager: I'll take the money.
Y/N: TRAGER!!!
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Frank: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
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Marta: Favorite horror movie?
Val: It
Knoth: Saw
Nick: Annabelle
Laird: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
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Heretic: So what’s for dinner?
Val, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
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Miles: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Waylon: Put spaghetti in it.
Miles: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Jeremy: Put spaghetti in it.
Miles: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Trager: Put spaghetti in it.
Miles: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
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Eddie: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen!
Waylon: Really? Name one law
Eddie: Don't kill people?
Waylon: That's on me. I set the bar too low.
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Knoth: *Walking into a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Val: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.
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Blake: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Val: It means I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Blake: but what’s the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Val: Blake, they...they weren’t always orphans.
Blake:
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Lynn: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Val: I do have a sense of humor you know
Lynn: I’ve never heard you laugh before
Val: I’ve never heard you say anything funny
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