#v: i know my value

[dontrequireyourhelp]

a random starter that was promised forever ago for @bokketo | clint

      Peggy walked along the hallways of SHIELD HQ looking for one agent in particular. Since she was given most of the command over the Avengers Initiative, she made it her personal mission to get to know each of her team members, well, personally. seeing how she practically raised one, trained with another, and was given the title of Cap’s best girl, she had a few more to get to know. Except well, one was from Asgard and the other was in hiding. So that only left the one and only: Clint Barton, code name Hawkeye. She knew what it said in his file. She knew what it said in all of the files but that didn’t stop her from actually connecting with her fellow Avengers. She knew as well as any of them there that files could only tell so much about a person.

      She had been informed for his affinity to heights so she also kept her eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary up in the rafters as she made her way through HQ. Finally spotting a pair of legs, up she went, scaling her way to the catwalk. “So are we avoiding people down below or just getting a bird’s eye view of who’s coming in and out of the building today?” She asked with a small smirk as she lowered herself down to sit next to him.

#bokketo #v: i know my value #m: clint

[bruhstation]

checking out theodore tugboat right now and all I can say is that foduck would really benefit from reading the dsm v

#zin.txt #my beautiful princess with various personality disorders. please talk to me. #I don't think I'm joking like atp he's DEFINITELY an undiagnosed autism and ocd haver. maybe bpd too.... many such cases #which is why he's always like ''I don't know why I feel like this''or ''I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that'' #him get upset over his coworkers stopping in the middle of work #going back and forth between valuing himself and feeling incredibly lesser than his peers because he is told to guard the docks #and cannot go out to the ocean #thus making his V title ''not worth anything'' according to him #''Im so important and nobody will get their job done without me'' #[5 minutes later] #''I am not a part of the team because I cannot go out to the ocean and my Vigilant title has no meaning'' #also the way he views his friends always changes like #one minute he's doting on them and cheering them on #next minute he's angry and agitated and dislikes them #next minute he's alll sorry and worried and anxious. curious indeed #living rent free inside my head and his neighbors are gordon and boomer

[theartinmyheart]

✨Enchanting✨

#absolutely obsessed w myself today #I’ve come so far and I refuse to go back. last night was a reflection of that #my soul is beautiful and I’m not going to allow you to dim my light my love I know you tried it #I know my worth. I know my value. I know my heart. and I know how I look #I’m irreplaceable but I love hard and you can keep that w you for the rest of your life #anyways. #I bought myself some books bc I’m v proud of myself rn #me

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Mel for the unhinged character bingo!

yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS

#ask me #so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support #BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that #I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times #-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die- #-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa- #enough! enough I say! #what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country #and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity #what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech #and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor #what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet #there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1 #and that she can't ignore the undercity forever #also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too! #it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently #the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change #so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her #and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream #however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves #but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down #I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol #like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her #I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win #which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet #also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter #but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK #also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too #I am super normal about her can you tell

[karamazovanon]

finally got around to making the dostoevsky translation poll :D for the sake of brevity, i'm only including the major ones that have done 4+ works and that i personally have seen the most, but if your fav isn't on here (e.g. oliver ready's c&p, ignat avsey) or you have any other thoughts PUT IT IN THE TAGS!!! WOO DATA

#fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky #im excited to see how this plays out........everywhere i look i get different answers and i think its really interesting #like in my search of mostly reddit p&v seemed to be THE definitive translations for a long while but nowadays they dont seem as popular? #i want to know what the tumblrinas think because i value yalls opinions INFINITELY more than crusty reddit men <3 #im very excited to do data analysis/visualizations about this and whatever yall have to say in the tags #<- yes im a loser stem student how could you tell #anonpost

[thepictureofsdr]

“controversial opinion alastair carstairs has potentially had the hardest life out of any of the main characters in the shadowhunters universe so far” now you may be thinking to yourself “WHOA tumblr user thepictureofsdr back it up there, that is an incredibly bold, broad, and obnoxious take” HOWEVER i have a case to make.

(disclaimer this isn’t taking into account the villains or immortal characters while i personally understand cringe teenager psychology i cannot personally understand the psychology of people over 300 nor those with murderous urges, im not finished my degree. one more disclaimer in the notes)

there is one singular thing that i think sets alastair apart from any of his other mc shadowhunter colleagues: the fact that he has been alone his whole life.

you can pluck any mc from any cassie series and create a web of support for them, whether it be family or friends, whether the characters believe they have that support system or deserve it or not, that support is STILL THERE. at all points in TMI, clary, jace, alec, izzy, and simon were all there for each other. alec was pretending to believe jace was evil in coa? izzy was staunchly defending jace. clary had a falling out with the others? she had simon. this pattern continues into the books, with gideon and gabriel being forgiven by institute and allowed a place to heal, with jem and will each going through hell but having each other and then having tessa, with the blackthorn siblings having each other to fall back on (including emma), with kit finding a home in LA and then with the carstairs, with the merry thieves considering each other brothers, with cordelia spilling her heart out to lucie, hell even grace had jesse. obviously i haven’t named every character but you get the trend im going for. every character has had SOMEONE, a friend, a significant other, a parabatai, a sibling, the rare parent.

then we have alastair. he had a roughly normal childhood for a few years despite the moving around, having a healthy relationship with his baby sister. but then he turned 10, something changed and he lost everything. on top of having moved around a lot and not having a single stable friend, in a way, he lost his sister and parents. it’s impossible to have a carefree sibling relationship when you’re actively giving up your life and time to protect them. it is by no means cordelias fault that their relationship was lost, but its a sad truth. he loses that reliable open sibling relationship, he loses that relationship with his father, and his mother ceases to be a mother and becomes more a coworker in this panic to keep the family afloat. by taking on this adult role so early on in life he loses the innocence and unconditional reliability of those relationships, and he seemingly never turns to them for comfort ever again, with cordelia only finding out about part of his emotional ordeals in cog, and even then he doesn’t burden her with everything. with this breakdown of the parental units and relationship as well as being isolated, alastair also loses his only example of what a healthy romantic relationship should look like, he has no real idea how a partner should act, which we know will come into play later. let’s also not forget how the one family member that could’ve helped, jem, was actively pushed away by elias who raised his children to not trust silent brothers for his own personal selfish needs.

then he goes to school, desperate for friends and what does he get? a year of verbal and physical bullying, with rumours being spread about his family and bruises slowly covering him. he then has to spend years pretending he’s awful just to survive and by some miracle he gets out and makes 1 (one) singular friend who then publicly friend breaks up with him by threatening to throw him in a river at an engagement party attended by what i assume is the entire enclave (thank you matthew). THEN (yes this tragedy is still going) we get to one of the most unsettling relationships in the series, mostly because the bizarreness of it is just… never addressed? we get alastair and charles who were together in 1902 when they wouldve been about 18 and 23, meaning we got a man who would’ve graduated college by then going after someone who would have just graduated high school… on top of that it was an incredibly toxic relationship with charles making him feel as though he were worthless and a dirty secret and centered the entire relationship around him, his own schedule, his needs, his wants, never making time for anything on alastair’s terms. on top of the love sick teenager syndrome, alastair had never personally witnessed a healthy relationship so on top of that AND being desperate for the closeness and intimacy and support he’d gotten from no one before, he had no way of knowing he was being treated badly, he didn’t know any better until much later, after witnessing charles propose to not one but TWO GIRLS while still keeping alastair sidelined.

so to summarize, alastair has never had a lasting, appropriate, healthy, unconditional, relationship with 1. a parent 2. a sibling 3. a friend 4. a significant other 5. family. he has never been loved for the sake of being loved, hes never had someone care for him because he simply exists, everyone wants something from him and he’s never felt what its like to be truly cared for. for every trauma he has endured, for every night he went out as a child to find his drunken father passed out in a bar to drag him home, for every beating he suffered as a school boy, for every friendship that crumbled to nothing, for every time his only relationship used him and sent him to sleep unsure of his worth, he didn’t have a single person. there was no jem to assure him that no matter his faults he deserved love, no cecily to hand out forgiveness and remind him to not dwell on the past, to just move forward, no julian to turn to when he couldn’t hold up anymore, no izzy to tell him he deserves better or to point out the flaws in how he’s treated, no alec to let him rest and defend him, he has never experienced those healthy dynamics.

not only has he been dealt an awful set of cards, hes never had a single person to help him through life to the point where hes not only alone but the few relationships he does experience actively cause him more problems and pain. mind you this post doesn’t even really address the main traumas he endures this is just the breakdown of his relationships so just mentally add on his MAIN story to all of this… everything elias made him endure, all the bullshit the thieves throw in his face, every time hes given up his life for the sake of someone else… this is just the background to all of that.

in short i think alastair has had one of the hardest lives maybe even the hardest, not because i think hes suffered the worst traumas of all or i think he wins the sadness games, but because he has never had a single person to help him through what he’s experienced, to love him because he exists, never had a single person to care for him through it all and not only is he aware of this tragedy, he thinks he deserves it. he pushes people away, keeps his walls up, thinks he doesn’t deserve love from others, thinks he is too damaged and twisted to burden someone with his existence, and despite his genuinely kind soul, he still thinks he’s cruel and awful and deserving of nothing, but are we surprised? its not like he has anyone to tell him otherwise.

#disclaimer this is lighthearted i dont agree with pain olympics i just want to draw attention to the hell alastair has been forced to endure #obviously opinions can vary this is just my personal take on the series and as someone who heavily values having people around me i think #perpetuatal aloneness would make a life harder than most #i personally feel all traumas are easier to handle knowing youre not alone but if you dont agree? amazing please tell me your opinion #JUST PLEASE DONT BE MEAN TO ME I AM S E N S I T I V E #chain of iron #chain of thorns #the last hours #chain of gold #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #tlh #the infernal devices #tid #alastair carstairs #thomastair #thomas lightwood #sdr hc #sdr essay

[aeide-thea]

thinking abt like. if you introduce someone to something you're into and they're like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably tickled that they dig it and are seemingly a kindred spirit at least that far; if you then introduce them to another thing you're into and they're again like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably still pleased but also perhaps guiltily wondering whether they know any other adjectives; and if you introduce them to a third thing and yet again they're like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably asking yourself, was any of that affirmation actually real or is this person just so reflexively accommodating that they've been turning off whatever independent critical faculties they possess in order to play a better yes-man???

(for values of 'you' that primarily mean 'me' obviously)

#just thinking a lot this week abt like. on the one hand i SO deeply need people to be kind and exhibit a readiness to be pleased #and i'm so relieved and grateful when i encounter that energy #but like. on the other hand i need to feel like i actually meet your standards‚ not like you don't HAVE any? #like. if a golden retriever wants to be pals it means nothing. if a cat wants to be pals it means everything #and like. if we're being honest i'm very very very picky abt. everything. i was going to specify areas but. it's all of them. #i just try not to actively be a dick abt it to anyone's face bc i think that's really important #(and like. i did a slightly less good job of hiding that in certain ways this week than i probably endorse so i'm thinking abt that) #(like i think the problem is that it always feels v important to be clear abt my tastes/Who I Am bc i want to be Understood) #(but like. sometimes ppl just aren't the sort of people who are going to Understand me and i need to get better abt cutting bait) #(and prioritizing courtesy abt their tastes over clarity abt mine in those cases) #idk. have very extremely not resolved the tension between my various values here #basically like goldilocks i need everything to be juuuuuust right which like. perfect IS the enemy of good and i know it!! #but at the same time like. it IS better to be alone than to be with people who chafe you raw. #but maybe eventually if you let them sand you into a new shape it'll be good? but. feels bad to be sanded. #anyway. strongly suspect this is not actually a coherent post i'm very sleepytired #this week was really really challenging and left me with a lot of food for thought. also some pie

[theunconcernedembalmer]

probably my fav looks for sop. excuse the extremely experimental colours

#identity v #aesop carl #identity v embalmer #identity v the embalmer #unconcerned art #im never going to find a colouring style i like im never going to like my colours lies down and cries #i did the lines no problem. it took me like a week to get myself to colour it #values hues saturation i dont know how to use any of those!!!!!!!!! im going insane!!!!!!!!!!! #anyway. im 1 follower away from 800. how did that happen #im seriously considering having chemist sop event when i do hit it. not a good idea since im not as active now. but hey #chemist cat sop has a very special place in my heart. the most relatable sop skin to appear. im not buying it tho #i spent 12 bucks for bloody sword. im not giving idv any more money. not happening #so im probably gonn draw him a bunch with whats left of my energy #maybe more motivation to draw him. or draw period. if when i start the event

[themidnightcircusshow]

I just finished reading Deborah Fisher's new bio of Henry V (based around important locations in his life). It's not really worth the read (basic life story, includes some debunked stuff like Hal studying at Oxford or being fostered by Salisbury) but the thing that annoyed me most is that she called the accounts of Hal defending Humphrey at Agincourt "awfully like propaganda".

Thought one: correct me if I'm wrong, but don't we have the crown with the missing Fleur de Lis (which supposedly happened while Hal was protecting Humphrey)? And we know Humphrey was injured during the battle. I guess the argument would be that these two things are significantly more valourised in accounts than they were in real life, but based on the information we know about the battle, along with what we know of their characters and the like, it's fairly reasonable to assume the accounts are based in truth. Maybe the accounts spruced it up a little, but our surviving evidence does support it (or something like it) happening.

Thought two: "Henry V seems to have deliberately behaved as the ideal king" has been twisted by a lot of people into "everything ever about Henry V is propaganda" and it is so tiring-- for starters, while on the surface they are similar, they have some pretty fundamental differences with very different results. The former primarily relies on him-- it's about how he seems to have treated himself, viewed himself, and how we essentially have to view him aware of this lens--while the latter relies on the idea that absolutely everyone was subject to Henry's whims in their chronicles. Especially when the people who believe this the most are of course dead set on the idea that Henry was a terrible bad man bullying everyone around him into saying nice things.

Thought three: I'm just generally frustrated with the idea that everything we know is propaganda (and therefore not to be trusted). It reminds me of a lot of sceptics in philosophy, who think the height of intellectualism is saying something isn't true and making everyone argue with them for eternity. No, we will never fully know what happened in the past. Yes, sometimes sources actively lie to us. But we actively examine sources and compare them to try and get as reasonable an understanding as we can. Claiming that it is all propaganda is both detrimental to the entire field and the people who work in it. A lot of it also unfortunately allows conspiracy theories to slip in. And the end result is people believing they can't trust a single thing any historian says because we're all making it up (but a random person on social media or an actual work of fiction is somehow more trustworthy).

#Henry V #and my rant on the propaganda #(like people do realise there's value in studying propaganda as well right?) #(Like we can get some good information on the values and desires of a culture based on the propaganda) #(but trying to say literally everything is propaganda and therefore everything we know about history is fake is just not it) #also with Hal you can always tell the difference between he deliberately was trying to be the perfect king (affectionate) and (derogatory) #like in one podcast I was listening to they said about his early death that 'robots just weren't built to last in those days' #but like... fondly #also sometimes people genuinely can be heroic and that doesn't make it propaganda

[motherfuckerunleashed]

brO i'm on goodreads and I updated my "currently reading" to

and i'm like "#16...coulda sworn i've read more than 16 drizzt books..."

so i did a little digging and the culprit is this guide i've been following that puts the books in order but FAILED TO MENTION that the Sellswords is not a part of the Drizzt series. it's a separate trilogy.

are you telling me that the teacher just stuck recommended reading into the required reading list

i, president of the artemis entreri hate club, am feeling lied to

#i really hope that the story is somehow relevant down the line #bc if i read that bullshit misadventure for nothing imma be ANNOYED #books or passages that dont include drizzt feel like homework already (even if they are necessary and i know they have value) #(i just find him the most interesting and compelling character and i dont find anyone else's pov nearly as enjoyable) #on top of that im simply not one of the girlies that likes entraxle!!! #jarlaxle is fun but artemis is a man baby edge lord #AND THAT WHOLE TRILOGY IS A FAT LOAD OF NOTHING #its one of those stories where a lot happens but somehow nothing is accomplished!!! #THEY JUST MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE V ANGRY #dude the way i shout-ranted at my fiancé when i finished it #artemis entreri hate club #the legend of drizzt #legend of drizzt #drizzt do'urden

[dontrequireyourhelp]

👀 (Steve)

send me ‘👀’ for something my muse has said about yours to someone else / when they’re not around. | accepting

(to Nat)

"I mean honestly, do you think he wears shirts seemingly far too small to mess with me? I may need to have a conversation with HR. See what I can do about the dress code."

#outcftheashes #m: steve rogers #peggy answers things #v: i know my value

[deltaruminations]

while i try to keep an open mind about the potential that NarraChara is just a really fucking worthwhile reading rather than Toby's original intent, it does bug me a little bit when i see people assessing/refuting it with "the narrator seems to know what other characters are thinking" and it's like yeah maybe they're guessing based on context clues or just making shit up. perhaps chara the kid who talks like a fantasy villain when we push them into Evil Demon Baby Mode was a precocious reader in life and they just like telling stories. the narrator may be saying "papyrus is thinking about your date later" or w/e because you literally just went through ACTs about going on the date and it's like, a reasonable thing to assume. and maybe they're totally wrong and he's thinking about cool skateboard videos he saw yesterday or something. like we already know the narrator is unreliable in other ways. why are we suddenly expecting to trust them on this too lol

[in-omni-scientia]

i saw that you gave a astute and great answer for the origin of your name, and i come to ask about any more interesting facts or info that is juggling in your mind

Perhaps I could tell you about Howard Gardner? Harry has been learning more about his stint as a gym teacher, so he's been on my mind lately.

He is a developmental psychologist who posited the theory of Multiple Intelligences. Contrary to other theories of intelligence which may only include a single general intelligence (G-factor), Gardner proposed eight distinct types of intelligence -- visual-spatial, logical-mathematical, verbal-linguistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, musical and bodily-kinaesthetic.

His main ideas were that people are not born with all of the intelligence they will ever have (i.e. fluid intelligence as opposed to crystallized intelligence) and that our profile of these intelligences will vary depending on genetics and experiences (nature vs. nurture).

Common criticisms of his theory are that there is no empirical evidence that validate its existence, intelligence tests support the concept of a single G-factor, and that some types of intelligence could be more considered "special talents" rather than specific types of intelligence.

However, while Gardner has noted schools (and wider society) generally value verbal-linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence above others, this theory has gained much popularity in the field of education. The theory has allowed educators to individualize their teaching; since each person differs from one another, there is no point in teaching and assessing them identically. By "pluralizing" their curriculum (teaching topics and skills in more than one way), all students are reached and they are enabled to consider the topic from multiple angles, deepening understanding (though, the theory is not at all synonymous with learning style).

I suppose it stuck in my mind because I was thinking of the kids.

#I don't really know what theory is true. #But I *do* want children to be valued regardless of what they know. #And I want them to have an equal chance to learn. #contains: txt #author/s: me #contains: answers #skillsposting #ooc: ency gets to psychologypost 1238712 healed 23846732 revived #some of this might be wrong tbh i didn't do a lot of cross-checking for this one. and sorry for no elysiumification #i had no motivation to research things today so i just. Conveniently left that info out. smiles #it was on my psych exam today so i was thinking abt it... #this is surface-level autism you don't want to know what's deeper on the autism iceberg (dsm-v)

[un-pearable]

little annoyed at how easy it is to make s4 work as an explanation for how zane got his powers…. chen uses the islands magic crystals to steal their powers. zane is powered by a mysterious substance, and it’s heavily implied that that is connected to his elemental power. easy obvious explanation: zane is powered by a piece of that crystal shaped into the circle we see, and chen kidnapped him not just to steal his power but to figure out how he had it in the first place

but they just… didn’t do that.

#text✨ #ninjago #yeah i know it’s bc a) that opens too many questions and ambiguity is just as much of a narrative tool as anything else and b) it’s. #it’s lego ninjago. but considering everything else about this show it’s v interesting to me that all this setup is there and they don’t do i #t. personally i figure there probably WERE plans in earlier drafts but that’s pure speculation #hm. on second thought though i do think there is value in us not knowing how zane works. it doesn’t matter how he functions bc what matters #is his similarities to everyone else not what sets him apart. he’s still human and a part of the team just a little different on the inside #it’s how he presents himself and *wants* to be seen that’s important. not the pedantic details of his functioning. it’s about choice #……. negating my own post aside. wild how blatantly obvious the connection is.

[lateseptemberdawn]

It's so confusing even to me sometimes especially when it perhaps matters the most how I am an empath as in I will feel like crying while watching someone else cry out if their hearts and I could literally feel their pain but then I'm also so detached like so much so that if someone I know is going through something (as in trouble in paradise (yeah I'm eloquent)) and completely losing it over that person, not being able to function properly like not eating being sad feeling depressed -- it just makes no sense to me??? Like I can't even begin to try to comfort other than just pat pat like??? So you found out they don't care about you don't you just instantly lose all feelings as well? Don't you feel cheated and ridiculed?? Does that mean nothing to you, your self-respect?? And if it does all those things then why do you feel sad. What do you feel sad for. I would feel angry. So incredibly angry and I would simply think I was an idiot to not notice the signs or to stay for as long as I did and it would be like a switch just completely off. I don't think I could ever hold a human above myself. And this makes me wonder if I could ever love at all.

#like ive thought about this ofc but just #it came to me again today #bc someone i know is going through it so im jusy #so lost? like bro snap out of it she used such a lame ass excuse and youre gullible and naive enough to take it at face value and cling on #and crying and feeling sad and sorry and taking your anger out on everybody else #and its extra pathetic the way i always knew that what that person felt was one sided from the beginning and kept telling them about it but #they were so in on their head #like insane level delusion #and i had to comfort them and all i could do was spit out bitter facts #and theyre v immature and like kinda narcissistic #and ik youre not supposed to tell them the bitter truth so soon but that also doesnt make sense to me #oh god am i antiromantic? i dont think so? like ive had crushes before? #im definitely in LOVE w my fav characters and tae and zayn #huh so maybe i am just hopeless irl #well. we'll see about that ig #comfort #antiromantic #detachment

[izzy-b-hands]

Me: I'm publishing the hanahaki rizzy one shot for my bingo card tonight

Me, after opening the doc up and reading a few lines in: I'm absolutely NOT publishing the hanahaki rizzy one shot for my bingo card tonight

#text post #my brain is itchy abt a lot of things irl and otherwise and otherwise v much includes this fic #like. it's fine as is. technically. but at the same time. It isn't #but also I don't know that the restart ideas I have for it are any better #but even more importantly I NEED to be doing things of some production value or I'm gonna lose it overall #so I could just do as many restarts as I want until a better one emerges. if one does lmao