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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 5 months

Text

Look at how my tears ricochet.

(or the unoverse fic)

(part 1)

(subtle MuSan that could see as platonic since the plot is focus on the angst and not on the romance at all)

(link to ao3, in case someone prefers to read it there)

Introduction here! Read it before for this to make sense!

Warnings: Well, here we are with the first chapter! (the previous was just an intro) This is mostly angst and hurt/no comfort. Canon compilant until Valhalla arc (almost, I change some "small" detail for this to make sense). I'm so sorry because Sanzu it's so broken here, but I promise that hope came to me last night and I found a way to ending this fic in a bittersweet way instead of just pain, yey!

MANGA SPOILERS! (Sanzu's mind it's a big manga spoiler)

Notes: This one it's from Sanzu's POV, I make him suffer a little bit because I needed him to be unhinged enough for what I'm planning later (technically, Baji's death it's on Wakui tbh).

'This are his intrusive thoughts' and 'This are his regular thoughts'! I was trying to show how broken his mind already is and this seemed like the best way in my head of showing it, I hope it makes sense :)

Also, I did some game with the names because why not. I used "Haruchiyo" when he feels more vulnerable, more emotional. And "Sanzu" when he's trying to hide this vulnerability or more close to the edge, to becoming that deranged Sanzu that we saw in Kanto Manji and Bonten.

(I only used "Mucho" instead of "Muto" once too, kudos to whoever sees why)

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

Haruchiyo doesn't want to be here, he wasn't going to come (he already buried a friend, he doesn't need to do it again). But his captain said he should go, that all Toman's captains and vice-captains were going. He wanted to scream, to throw something at Muto's face for trying to force him. But he couldn't, because the older boy looked at him with a soft smile and worried eyes. A big hand on his shoulder, the silent promise that he wouldn't be alone.

So now he's here, at Baji's wake. The words sound surreal in his head, it seems like a cruel joke, that keeps repeating itself. 'Is everyone going to die except for you? Shouldn't you be the one dying for once?' 'Shut up, I don't care, this is not Baji.' He shakes his head, trying to keep his own thoughts under control, earning another worried look from his captain.

Haruchiyo knows that he needs to get a grip, focus on the present. One step, then the other. Just like this, looking at his own feet, walking slowly next to Muto's calm presence. That will help, he's sure of it.

And it does, the sound of his own steps is keeping him grounded while he enters at the funeral hall. He sees Benkei from the corner of his eyes and even if he knows better (he should know better), he looks at him. Obviously, Senju is sitting next, with Wakasa at her other side. Both men trying to comfort her, even if Wakasa looks dead inside (that's not new, the white leopard has been like this since Shinichiro die, but Sanzu can't think in this right now, he can't).

Clenching his fits, Haruchiyo keeps walking. Resisting the urge to hug his little sister, pretending to not know her. 'But you do, you know her, look at her face, she looks so broken. Are you really not going to do anything? You're always a bad brother, aren't you?' 'I'm an only child, I don't care. Besides, she has them by her side. She's better off without me.'

“Sanzu?”

His captain concerned tone makes him go back to reality, still feeling disoriented. It probably shows on his face, because suddenly there is a supportive hand on his shoulder. Gently pushing him to keep walking.

He feels exposed without his mask, an open book for everyone there to read. He hates it, he just wants this to be over. But once more, time is not on his side, each second feels like ages 'Why is freaking time playing with my mind again?'

One step, then the other. Again. And again. Until they're almost in front of that (because that isn't Baji, it can't be). He's in some kind of trance, only his feet and Mucho's warm hand seem real. But he can do it, as long as he keeps focusing on this, as long as he doesn't think (as he doesn't remember) he can do it.

“Haruchiyo?”

A weak voice call him when he's about to pay his respects to that. Sanzu turns instinctively to that sound, only for wishing he didn't.

Ryoko's eyes, so similar to his son, are looking at him with tears. It's so weird, the woman that is thanking him for being there used to be like a mother for him in a past that she doesn't remember. Of course she doesn't, it never happened for her.

But suddenly, Haruchiyo is seeing all the times that he ran away from his own home, staying with Baji. How Ryoko always had a spare futon ready for him, how she always called Takeomi for letting that bastard know that his little brother was safe and more than welcome to stay there as long as both of them needed it.

He always ran towards Baji, didn't he?

Of course he did. Baji was the other half of Haruchiyo's pain. They shared the same trauma, they needed each other. In a twisted way, they were each other lifeline. Baji always understood without words, even if he was complaining or calling him “batshit crazy”, the other boy never turned his back on him (Baji would never turn his back on any of his friends).

Baji was the only one he had, the one that didn't die. Now, he's alone again. 'When weren't you alone?'

Haruchiyo is completely froze, the incense bar on his hand breaks. But he can't move. He can't. He's thirteen again and he doesn't understand what is happening. A weird feeling on his guts that he's seen this film before. 'But it can't be, right? It can't be.'

That warm hand squeezes his shoulder, aquamarine eyes looking at him, urging him to place the incense on the burner and go out of the line. But Haruchiyo doesn't react to that, he's too caught up in his memories (his nightmares) to even recognize the owner of those eyes. He just looks through him, unable to focus on reality anymore.

Because this can't be real. It just can't. If this was real, Baji should be next to him. So this can't be real. 'Look at him, he's in a coffin, you're only friend is in a coffin.' 'No, he's not, this is not real, this is not happening.'

If this was real, they should be holding hands tightly until it was painful, the pain grounding them. They should be crying together in silence. If this was real...

'It's real, look at him. Do it.' 'No, Baji isn't supposed to be death, this can't be.' But he does it, he looks at him and he feels like all the air has been stolen from his lungs.

'No, no, this can't be. Why is Baji the one in a coffin?' 'This is your fault, you couldn't save him either. You're useless.'

'What the fuck? Fuck, fuck, fuck!' He can't breathe, he can't move, he can't do anything else besides staring at that. Yes, exactly, Sanzu tries to remind to himself. That is not Baji. Not his Baji. This person never shared the same memories, the same pain.

He tries to breathe again. This Baji forgot about him, made new friends. 'Better friends'. Yes, he was having a better life without Sanzu on it. 'He didn't want me as a part of that life, right? This is not my Baji.'

Haruchiyo is trying to focus, to go back to the present. Whispers that only makes it worse. He feels sick. 'That isn't him, that isn't him.'

But... This Baji died protecting Toman, protecting his friends. 'Protecting Mikey. How dare you to pretend his not your friend when he died for Mikey?'

In that exact moment, he breaks. The first tears rolling down his cheeks. They sting. They sting so badly but he's unable to control it.

Because that's the same person that Haruchiyo used to know. That's Baji, his Baji.

Suddenly, someone holds his hand with too much strength.

“Baji?”

Haruchiyo whispers, turning around, too lost in his memories for understanding what's happening. He tries to focus on the person next to him. Blond hair. Dark eyes.

Mikey.

Mikey is there, holding his hand. He's not crying, hiding his own pain like always. Always being the strong one for his friends (even when he's broken). But the grip on Haruchiyo's hand says everything he needs to known. The void in his dark eyes screaming louder than any tear.

Sanzu squeezes the blonde's hand, going back to reality. Mikey needs him.

The irony that this time they are the ones holding hands too tightly, exactly like he did with Baji in a funeral that never happened, doesn't escape his mind.

Mikey takes him outside, allowing him to breathe, to cry, without so many eyes staring at him. Allowing him to break.

Is there, weeping in Mikey's arms, where his already twisted mind seals his own fate. Not that he cares (at all).

Mikey is his king and he's going to protect him. He'll follow him, no matter where. But this time, is not a promise to Shinichiro.

It's a promise to Baji, a promise to himself.

And Sanzu will gladly pay the consequences if it means keeping his promise.

Later that night, Haruchiyo is unable to sleep. He keeps staring at the ceiling, a loop of the last talk he had with Baji playing in his mind. Wishing he had say a lot more.

“Are you really leaving Toman?”

Baji almost jumped when he heard Sanzu's voice, not expecting to find the other hiding in the shadows. Waiting for him.

“Yes.”

“I see. I will miss you. I just want to ask you one last question.”

“I’m not going to tell you anything about Valhalla.”

The pinkette just shrugged off that comment, his face emotionless as usual.

“What hair treatment do you use?”

“What?”

“I always wondered what cream you use for your hair.”

Baji looked at him like he just grown a second head (nothing new).

“You're a weirdo... It's just soap...”

He answered, a sly smile plastered on his face (Sanzu should've know better seeing that smile, of course his hair was going to be stiff and tangled after trying freaking soap on it).

“Well, thanks, Baji.”

He turned around, already having all the information he wanted from the brunette. He never needed to ask Baji if he was a traitor, he knew better. He knew Baji.

“Hey, wait! Haruchiyo!”

He stopped, looking at the other boy, surprised that he was using his first name. Baji looked... hesitant?

“Kisaki is the enemy.”

“What?”

“Just that. Kisaki is the enemy, don't forget it, okay?”

Just like that, their last conversation was over. None of them knew it yet. Or maybe Baji did, maybe his warning was because he suspected how bad things could go.

Sanzu can't sleep, his mind it's too busy starting to plot. Baji's last words hanging in the air, he can't forget them. He can't.

For Baji.

For Mikey.

“Kisaki is the enemy.”

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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 3 months

Text

Look at how my tears ricochet.

(or the unoverse fic)

(part 2)

(the MuSan is less subtle and more tragic because hell yeah, but it still could be seen as platonic since the plot is focus on the angst and not on the romance at all)

(also some background HanKisa if you squint it)

(link to ao3, in case someone prefers to read it there)

Introduction and Part 1 here. Read it before for this to make sense!

I want to dedicate this chapter to @souyaddiction because your post of this morning gave me the hype to finally sit down and end it because it was half-done for more than a month. So thanks, really. your words meant a lot! (and for the rest of you, don't hesitate to comment on the fics you like, it will make an author so damn happy 💜)

Also, a song for this chapter, courtesy of @just-sp-in-inginthevoid and their amazing Sanzu playlist!

Warnings: Angst and hurt/no comfort. Sanzu is having another mental breakdown (once for chapter, seems like a good ratio I guess?🤔). Mental health issues and a lot of self-hate because lil gremlin is not having a good time. I promise the ending will be bittersweet and have some hope on it (but not for Sanzu, sorry blorbo!)

MANGA SPOILERS! (Sanzu's mind it's a big manga spoiler)

Notes: Okay, I know I said it would change POV between Kisaki and Sanzu, but I don't know how to write Kisaki, his mind is a total mystery for me. So...this is Sanzu's POV again because thank god he's a stalker and I could fit all the plot just with his point of view. I don't feel too confident with the part of Kisaki's dialogue, but I did my best, I hope he doesn't sound OoC! (also, the thought on Kisaki and Hanma belong to Sanzu, not me, I love my HanKisa weirdos)

Next chapter will be the last one, yuhuuuu! Stay tunned 💜

Also, I did that game with the names again because I love it. I used "Haruchiyo" when he feels more vulnerable, more emotional. And "Sanzu" when he's trying to hide this vulnerability or more close to the edge, to becoming that deranged Sanzu that we saw in Kanto Manji and Bonten.

(Same for "Mucho" and "Muto", since is Sanzu's pov the first one is used in more affectionate moments)

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

To be honest, Sanzu is bored. He's plan was pretty simple: following Kisaki around until he discovers something he can use. It's also really easy to do it, at least for him. He's too used to being a shadow, to not being looked twice. Something that used to be painful but plays in his favor when he needs to spy on someone. 'Sure, keep lying to yourself, you love being nothing more than a mere shadow for everyone. Always so easy to ignore.'

After more than two weeks of doing this, the most interesting thing that happened was when Kisaki managed to make Hanma a new captain in Toman, pulling off an alliance that apparently impressed some of the other captains. Haruchiyo felt a punch in his gut at this, as if this decision was the same as spitting on Baji's memory. But he shut up, even if he couldn't understand why Mikey did this, at the end of the day, who was he to question the king's decisions?

If Mikey had asked Sanzu about this, he would've said it was a terrible idea. But he didn't, no one asked him, so he just kept his opinion for himself. 'No one ever asks you anything that actually matters, right? Because they don't trust you.' 'That's not true, Baji trusted me. That's why I'm doing this, I can't let him down.'

His own thoughts are starting to go out of control (again) and Sanzu is sure that the cause is this tedium. 'Do something, fucker! Plan a murder, plot some evil shit or whatever!' But no, Kisaki just keeps doing the same routine almost every freaking day (at least that allows him to still keep an eye on Mikey, since Kisaki actually goes to class, that bastard it's so boring). He tries to distract himself wondering why on Earth Hanma looks so amused around the boy with glasses, like he was in some kind of circus. 'What a freak, he genuinely likes spending time with that fucker'.

To be honest, Sanzu actually learned some important things spying on Kisaki. Like how he never locks his window at night, giving Hanma the freedom to sneak in and out of his room. The scarred boy felt like Christmas came earlier the day he discovered that, a maniacal grin under his mask.

He also learned that Kisaki was panicking after the stunt that Baji pulled on him. Haruchiyo loves knowing that Baji left such a big mark, a force of nature until the very end. But that's not all, Kisaki is scared. He doesn't want to deal with another one of Mikey's childhood friends wreaking havoc on his plans. So, apparently, Sanzu is next in line.

Not that Sanzu is complaining (at all). It makes his job easier, actually. No need to be worried about collateral damage if he's the target. The only thing he has to do, is discovering how Kisaki is going to try to put him out of the picture. Once he knows, he'll find a way to mess with that plan and kill the bastard. No middle points, he's not going to risk it (Baji is already dead, he can't risk it).

'Maybe his plan is killing me from boredom. And it's working.' He almost laughs out loud with this thought, but Hanma and Kisaki are close now, he has to keep it quite. Shrinking himself further into the shadows of the alley, Sanzu tries to sharpen his hearing.

“You've been talking for ages about how you're going to take down the 5th Division vice-captain, but you still didn't tell me exactly how. C'mon Kisaki, don't be mean, you know my curiosity is piqued!”

Hanma speaks so loud that it's quite easy to hear, always acting like he was on a theater. Unfortunately, the other boy is more cautious, so he's unable to grasp everything.

“...Toman's traitor. He'll be the key... he should arrive in a few minutes. Be a good pawn and stop whining.”

The taller boy grins at that, but Sanzu is not really paying attention to their weird dynamic anymore, his efforts are finally paying off. And it's better than he imagined, he's going to be able to uncover a traitor in Toman!

If it weren't for the fact that he's being sneaky, Sanzu would jump from excitement right now. Obviously, it would be much better if there wasn't a snake within the gang, but one of the many things he learned from his captain, is that there is always going to be scabs. That's why the task of the 5th Division is to purge them.

So yes, maybe Sanzu shouldn't be this happy about this. 'You definitely shouldn't, are you glad of having to kill someone else?' He ignores his stupid brain, because he knows that's not it. He isn't glad with the idea of having to do that. He doesn't want to become a murderer, he just wants to protect Mikey. And he's willing to pay the cost.

But that's not it. Not all, at least. He's about to find a traitor all on his own, without any type of help (well, with Baji's help to be fair). Haruchiyo is going to prove his value to his captain, he's going to show how useful he can be. He's sure that Mucho will look at him with a delighted smile on his face, that he'll compliment his skills and his hard work.

Yes, that's it. He'll protect Mikey, he'll honor Baji's last will and he'll make his captain proud of him. Mucho will see that he's more than a wild animal that needed to be tamed. His captain will see that he's worthy, he's certain of it. And Haruchiyo will finally be able to believe it, to feel like more than just a nuisance. 'Are you really worthy?' 'Yes, I am. I'm going to be after this.'

The minutes seem to be passing slower until, finally, the three boys catch the sound of someone approaching them. Sanzu makes sure again they can't see him, trying to be one with the darkness that surrounds him. Until the person arrives and he almost stumbles against the wall from the shock. What is his captain doing here? 'Maybe he knows? Maybe he discovered what this two were planning. Yeah, it has to be that!'

He feels a excitement through his body at the idea that they can take Kisaki down together. Like it should be. But something inside his brain is telling him to wait, to evaluate the situation before. 'You say it yourself, you can't risk it. Are you gonna bet Mikey's life on Muto?' Sanzu shakes his head and decides to listen. 'Just in case, right?'

The 5th division captain stamps Kisaki against the wall, fury flowing on his eyes, keeping Hanma away with the other hand.

“What makes you think you have any right to call me here, Kisaki?” The voice is calm but harsh at the same time.

The boy with glasses just laugh and puts his hands up, showing a false submission and calming his lap dog with a gesture.

“Calm down, Muto, I just wanted a few words with you. We have a friend in common, don't we?”

Sanzu ears perk up with this, unsure of what he should think of that. But his captain seems to understand, because he loosens his grip, allowing the bastard to be free.

“Izana.” Muto only grumbles one word, but it's enough for Kisaki to show a satisfied smile on his hideous face.

“I knew we could understand each other. Now that we clear out the issue of your loyalty, there something... Some one, in the middle of the way to crush Mikey like Izana wants, isn't it?”

Muto just clenches his fits, his knuckles getting almost white. But he doesn't deny the words, he doesn't deny that he is... A traitor? 'No, he can't be. No. No' 'Are you sure? He looks like one. Still happy about it?' 'Shut up, he can't be. He can't.'

“Would you kill for Izana, Muto?” Kisaki's voice feels like a poison, rotting away everything Haruchiyo used to know about his captain.

“What do you want exactly? I don't have time for your little games, go to the point.”

“Sanzu. Your vice-captain is too close to Mikey, knows to much. He could jeopardize Izana's plans to isolate Mikey. Sanzu must go, is that simple.”

A fist punches the wall, right next to Kisaki's face. The boy flinches for a second, but keep his composure.

“That simple? No. I know Sanzu, he's loyal to me, he isn't going to do shit without orders.”

The scarred boy wants to laugh at the irony, they both thought they knew each other so well, didn't they? And they were both wrong. So, so wrong.

“Oh, really? Do you think Sanzu would still follow you around once you betray Mikey?” His voice gives off a false sweetness. “After what you saw in that funeral?”

Muto just purses his lips at that, almost like it the first time he has to confront this fact. That he can't have everything.

“I see you understand now. Don't worry, I'm merciful, I'll let you a few days to think about it.”

This are the last words that Haruchiyo is able to comprehend, his mind, his whole world, seems to be spinning out of control. He tries to stabilize his own body leaning against the wall, feeling too dizzy, ends up slipping to the ground. He's shaking, not realizing how much time has passed, but the others are no longer in his sight anymore.

Taking off his mask, he throws up, feeling sick. 'This is too much, this can't be...Mucho... I trusted him.' 'Did you? You kept so many secrets from him, didn't you?' 'Because I promised to Shinichiro, that's different!'

Haruchiyo just wants to scream, to bang his head against the wall, to disappear swallowed by the shadows of the alley. He can't even go back home. 'What home? The one you share with that damn impostor?' But he should, he should pull himself together or he'll compromise his plan.

A pair of dark eyes come to his mind, a reminder of why he's doing all of this. 'Mikey. I can't fail him. He's the only one that matters, Muto can burn in hell.' 'Are you going to be the one sending him there? Can you really do that? After everything he gave you?'

Sanzu steadies his own breathe, trying to focus on his mission, on what he knows it's the right thing to do. He's finally able to start walking, the breeze of the night helping him to come back to reality. 'Yes, I can do it. The only thing he gave me was lies, it means nothing. It never meant anything, anyway.'

He can hear that annoying voice inside his brain laughing at him and oh, he hates it so much, he hates his own brain so fucking much. 'That's it, then? You'll just keep the lies going on, use him to get to Kisaki and kill them both?' 'Yes.' 'And how far will you go with your lies? Are you going to snuggle against him in bed tonight? To ask him for affection like a desperate puppy like you always do?'

He stops on his track at that, unsure of how to handle it, if he'll be able to pretend like this tonight. Maybe he doesn't need to, it wouldn't be the first time that he spends the night out, his captain never asked too much questions before. That's it, he can just sleep in one of his old hidings and think carefully about how to get rid of those two bastards. Face Muto tomorrow, prepare himself before.

'I'm going to use that fucking betrayer to get to Kisaki, they'll regret trying to stab Mikey's back. I'm going to make sure of that.' Sanzu smirks cruelly with this thought, savoring the idea. The punishment. He'll be the one imparting justice in the king's name. And he'll enjoy it, it doesn't matter who receives the penalty. They should've known better. His captain should've known better. 'You should've known better than trust him too.'

When the morning comes, Muto is not in their small apartment. He seems to just left, most of his things aren't there. A shoji board and and old leather jacket that Haruchiyo used to steal from him seem to be the only important possessions his captain left behind. 'Coward, he's a damn coward.'

Sanzu is burning in rage, a renewed feeling of betrayal growing inside of him, staining and corrupting his already broken mind. 'What are you going to do now? You were too weak to face him when you had the chance and he ran away. You failed. Again.' 'No, I didn't, I still know how to get to Kisaki. No more waiting.'

The place feels suffocating without Muto's calm presence, but it doesn't matter, he knows exactly what he needs to take from his own room.

In the middle of the night, a silent shadow climbs until he's manages to sneak through the unlocked window. Stepping inside, he waits until his eyes get used to the darkness of the room.

“Hanma?” A sleepy voice asks with a not-so-subtle insecurity lingering in it.

“Wrong answer, fucker.” Sanzu snickers, before slamming Kisaki's head with the hilt of his katana, knocking the boy unconscious.

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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 5 months

Text

Okay, this fic comes from a shared idea with @just-sp-in-inginthevoid (tbh I can't remember how we get there right now, but I remember it was fun).

The point was "What could have happened if everyone knew that Sanzu was Mikey's childhood friend, since Kisaki would probably try to kill him too in that case."

But we all know that trying to kill Sanzu is not a good idea, because he has a katana and doesn't hesitate to kill people for Mikey, so... Jokes on you, Kisaki, the Uno reverse fic was born! (each one of us is going to make our own version of it, someday, at some point and without pressures. I'm sure theirs will be great, so if you like the idea, check it once it's done💜)

I swear at the beginning the idea was funny in my head, because Sanzu's katana always makes me laugh for some weird reason. But then I started to think about in what moment would make sense for Kisaki to try this move and... After Valhalla. So Baji is dead and this is not funny at all because Sanzu is going to be broken (I needed him to be unhinged, I'm so sorry >.< )

(link to ao3, in case someone prefers to read it there)

Look at how my tears ricochet.

(Introduction)

Warnings: The introduction it's kinda hilarious because my first thought about this was to make it crack. But then... Well, Sanzu happened. So the rest of this is going to be mostly angst and hurt/no comfort. I'm trying to put a little bit of hope at the end, but not sure if it will make it. MANGA SPOILERS!

Notes: This is going to be a multichapter (yey, my first one!), stay tunned! Also, it will probably have light MuSan in the next chapters, but since the focus is not there, it's easy to pretend it's platonic. I'm thinking about alternating one chapter from Kisaki's POV, one from Sanzu's POV. But no promises there since I'm still on it.

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

Kisaki had a plan.

It was a great plan, perfectly crafted. It took him months to figure out the correct path for becoming Mikey's right hand.

A perfectly crafted plan with a lot of steps in it.

So... How on Earth everything went so wrong and so freaking fast?

Well, actually, Kisaki was smart enought to know the answer.

Sanzu.

The quiet vice-captain who was supposed to be an easy target. Muto's shadow seemed so easy to manipulate... But no, the bastard was a wild card.

Wild was only an understandment.

Sanzu was fucking crazy.

The situation was so bizarre, that the boy with glasses even missed Hanagaki's way of ruining his plans. Of course, he couldn't avoid seeing the irony of this fact.

Kisaki hated the hero and his stupid moral compass. But right now? Oh, right now he would have done anything for having the damn crybaby in front of him. Anyone was better than a maniac with a katana.

#me writing🌻#unoverse fic #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #sanzu haruchiyo #kisaki tetta #tokyo revengers fic #canon compilant until valhalla #crack #(for now at least)#i'm crying while writing the next chapter you're all warned #i kinda feel sorry for kisaki now #the katana should be a character i'm sure sanzu talks to it #do you think mikey likes me katana?#i think tenjiku animated broke me ooooops

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