#underworld park estella | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hyperbolicpurple · 5 years

Text

transcript of every Weevil scene in S4

With timestamps!

Episode 3, “Keep Calm and Party On,” starting at 46:08:

Weevil: Yo, who’s cookin?

Hector: One of the new kids.

Weevil: No, Paul needs to be on the grill. ‘Cause this tastes like some peculiar-ass shit.

Juan Diego: Weevil! Your sister wants you to meet someone.

Weevil: Bring him over.

[Claudia and Alonzo come over]

Weevil: So you’re Alonzo. Glad you could make it. Heard a lot about you.

Claudia: Not a lot. Just--just a normal amount.

Weevil: Hey, uh, C, why don’t you put Paul on the grill for me? He likes you. Please? Thank you. [she departs] You up from Mexico on business?

Alonzo: Yeah.

Weevil: Look, your visit doesn’t have anything to do with the bombings, does it?

Alonzo: We didn’t set off any bombs, man. I promise you that.

Weevil: That wasn’t the question. But okay. Don’t break her heart, and we’ll be fine.

Episode 4, “Heads You Lose,” starting at 20:59:

[Veronica is being attacked by young PCHers in front of Weevil’s auto shop]

Weevil: Let go! Let her go, before she hurts you too. [Juan Diego doesn’t stop; Weevil fires a gun into the air] The next one goes in your bike. Hit the road, boys, you all got better things to do.

[They all ride off]

Veronica: Quite the mentoring program you’ve got here. How’s the straight life? You wouldn’t be chopping cars in here like your uncle did, would you?

Weevil: I think the words you’re looking for are “thank you.”

[interlude with Alonzo and Claudia]

Veronica: Muggings. Vandalism. Bombings. Regular Fagin now, huh?

Weevil: What did you say?

Veronica: Relax. It was a literary reference.

Weevil: Oh, I got the Oliver Twist shoutout. But did you say bombings? [laughs] Yeah. It was me behind the grassy knoll, too. [Weevil starts walking away]

Veronica: You, your boys--you’re doing grunt work for the people who want to destroy this town. Fine. Whatever. Sell out, then!

Weevil: You know, it must be nice to have choices, Veronica.

Episode 5, “Losing Streak,” starting at 20:05:

[in the Mars Investigations office]

Veronica: [on the phone] Yeah, I’m coming home now. Do you want me to pick something up for dinner? ... Like, really cooking, or opening cans of soup?

[knock on the door]

Veronica: [to the phone] Maybe you should handle dinner. ... Nope, a recidivist. Be back soon. [hangs up] Weevil?

Weevil: [sighs] What’s wrong with you, Veronica?

Veronica: You know, there are a range of opinions.

Weevil: You got a problem with me, deal with me.

Veronica: Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Weevil?

Weevil: Using a 19-year-old kid as a chip. Wow. That’s some gutter shit. Try remembering when you were cool.

Veronica: Hmm. Well, I mean, since you asked so nicely.

Weevil: Juan Diego’s brother? He took out two high-ranking Nuestra Familia street commanders. That kid shows up in the Cali prison system, they’re gonna put him in a box.

Veronica: Oh, that Juan Diego. The ice machine shitter. Well, maybe he should have considered that before he held a knife to my throat. But you know what? Bygones.

Weevil: [nods, looking relieved]

Veronica: Now if you’ll just fill me in on what’s causing the uptick in petty crime by the boardwalk, my heart will remain three sizes too big.

Weevil: [long exhale] No clue.

Veronica: Bullshit!

Weevil: You and me. We were close, once. If there’s anything left--

Veronica: There’s not. My dad went out on a limb for you. He and Cliff spent a year building your case against the Sheriff’s Department, and you settled behind their backs.

Weevil: I had a wife and a daughter to think about. I don’t live on Cherry Tree Lane, V! I needed the money! Does that make me a criminal?

Veronica: No. Being a criminal makes you a criminal. Which is why Jade split town, right? She didn’t want her kid raised by a--

Weevil: Stop there, Veronica.

[interrupted by Weevil’s cell phone ringing; he answers]

Weevil: [to the phone] Hector. Yeah. Go ahead. Are you sure? That’s great news. All right. Yeah. Bye. [hangs up]

Veronica: Great news, huh? Did you make the cover of Hoodlum Weekly?

Weevil: Cops can’t find the guy who filed the complaint against Juan Diego. He must have split town.

Veronica: So the charges are dropped. How about that? Turns out I’m not lowdown gutter trash.

Weevil: Jury’s out. [he leaves]

Episode 6, “Entering a World of Pain,” starting at 23:47:

[Weevil storms into the Mars Investigations offices]

Weevil: What’d you do with him, Veronica? Where is he?!

Veronica: Are you asking, “where in the world is cabron Juan Diego?”

Weevil: You’re not funny.

Veronica: Weren’t you worried about him going to prison and getting shot? He’s safe now. You’re welcome.

Weevil: He’s his family’s main earner. His mom’s been on my ass about lost income ever since he disappeared.

Veronica: She sounds like a lovely woman.

Weevil: We can’t all be like you. Practically perfect in every way.

Veronica: Sure you can. It’s easy. First, stop working on behalf of the richest asshole in Neptune in a plot to drive you and your people out of town. Sorry, does the truth hurt? You need a spoonful of sugar to make that medicine go down?

Weevil: I wake up every day trying to figure out a way to take care of my people. But you? You’ve got degrees from Stanford and Columbia that you don’t even use. You’d rather stay in this town that you say you hate, tasing teenagers and making them wet their pants.

Veronica: You had a wife and a daughter and a legit business, and you pissed it all away.

Weevil: I got shot, Veronica. Some rich white lady shot me, and I got arrested!

Veronica: Yeah. That was shitty. And I was there for you. And so was my dad, and so was Cliff. But you were weak. [Weevil turns away] Just go. Get out of here. Go be a low-level hood. But know this: that is how I’m gonna treat you. And when you are run out of town, don’t forget: I told you so.

Weevil: Okay, Veronica.

[Penn Epner comes in]

Penn: Is this a bad time...?

Weevil: Go ahead. She’s all yours.

later in episode 6, starting at 40:31:

[Weevil’s house with Claudia, Hector, and Weevil]

Claudia: Shit!

Weevil: What happened? Your Mexican boyfriend tell you he’s married?

Claudia: Why you two such pigs? Clean up after yourselves!

Weevil: [to Hector] You’d think I was living under her roof, huh?

Claudia: I got fired, asshole!

Weevil: What? You’ve been there for two years!

Claudia: He fired Estella too, and she’s been there a lot longer.

Weevil: Why?

Claudia: There’s no customers anymore. Not with all the bombings. Same thing all over town. No one’s hiring. Everyone’s letting people go.

Weevil: Okay, okay, don’t worry, listen. I’m making plenty of money right now. I can take care of the family, it’s gonna be okay.

Claudia: What about Estella?

Weevil: Estella ain’t family.

Claudia: Why don’t you hire me at your shop?

Weevil: No. No way. It’s like you said. Everything ain’t strictly legal. It’s not gonna work.

Claudia: I need the money, Eli.

Weevil: No. No.

Claudia: I’m too old to have you supporting me.

[knock on the door]

Weevil: Come in! Oh. Alonzo.

Hector: Yo, what’s up, man.

Weevil: Beer?

Alonzo: Yeah, sure.

Weevil: Claudia, two beers, please.

Claudia: Yeah, I saw Eli’s blonde crush at the motel today.

Weevil: The--wh--wh--what blonde crush?

Claudia: Veronica Mars.

Weevil: Oh, oh yeah, that’s--that’s my crush. Just love her to death. What was she doing at the Happy Nite?

Claudia: Pretty sure she was snooping around Alonzo’s room.

Alonzo: Who was in my room?

Claudia: Cute blonde private eye. You saw her at Weevil’s shop.

Alonzo: You sure? Or you pretty sure?

Claudia: I--I’m not sure. Some gimpy old bald guy collapsed nearby, and I was trying to help him, and--

Hector: Old bald guy with a limp?

Claudia: Yeah.

Hector: That was her dad. [to Alonzo, cackling] She was definitely in your room, man.

Claudia: [to Alonzo] What are you gonna do?

Alonzo: I’m gonna pay her a visit at some point. See what she wants.

[Weevil looks nervous]

Episode 7, “Gods of War,” starting at 31:03:

[Weevil and Clyde in the parking lot of Weevil’s shop, sitting in Clyde’s car]

Weevil: Are you kidding me with this car, man?

Clyde: ‘66. Mint condition. Original leather, original wood grain on the dash. Bought this from a little old lady who kept it covered in a garage. It’s got 23,000 miles on it.

Weevil: Beautiful. Hey, Clyde, you know anything about these two guys up from Mexico? They work for a cartel boss. He lost his nephew in the Sea Sprite bombing?

Clyde: No. But I don’t really have my finger on the pulse of the Mexican underworld.

Weevil: I thought you knew everyone who’s ever served time, Clyde. It could mean trouble for whoever’s responsible for that Sea Sprite bomb.

Clyde: I heard that was Perry Walsh, and that guy’s already blown himself up, so...

Weevil: Huh. I wonder what those two guys are still doing up here, then. [Clyde hands him an envelope of cash] Oh. Thanks. My guys have been on my ass all week about getting paid.

Clyde: Well, that’s the last of it, so, uh, you might want to remind them about rainy days.

Weevil: Job’s done?

Clyde: Yeah. Spring break’s over.

Weevil: Not for four days, it isn’t. Clyde, look, there’s gotta be more you need, right? I mean, I got a lot of people counting on this. On me.

Clyde: Good thing you’re an enterprising kind of guy. I’m sure you’ll find other ways to make money.

[Weevil nods, gets out of the car, goes inside the shop, where Claudia accosts him]

Claudia: This guy’s been blowing up your phone. Think he’s got tires for you or something. What’s wrong with you?

Weevil: Veronica Mars. The “I told you so” I’m gonna be hearing from her.

Claudia: Well, you don’t have to worry about her much longer.

Weevil: What’s that supposed to mean?

Claudia: Nothing. I’m just agreeing with you. She’s annoying.

Weevil: Claudia. Do not lie to me. Why am I not gonna have to worry about Veronica?

later in episode 7, starting at 36:20:

[Veronica and Keith are in a gunfight at Carol’s cabin with Alonzo and Dodie; the sound of motorcycles revving]

Dodie: The hell is that?

Weevil: Head on out, boys! No one’s touching her! Head home!

[Veronica creeps up to the front door with a knife as the motorbikes start rumbling away and opens it. Weevil’s outside with his visor up. They stare at each other for a long moment. Then Weevil pulls the visor down and drives away while Veronica watches.]

#veronica mars #vm spoilers #weever #eli navarro

13 notes · View notes

weownthenitenyc · 5 years

Text

Lollapalooza Berlin Full Lineup with Marteria & Casper, Rita Ora, and Kungs

The first big lineup announcement in February already gave a taste of what awaits fans from all over the world on the first weekend of September: with exclusive festival shows by Kings of Leon, Swedish House Mafia, Twenty One Pilots, Kraftklub, Khalid, Underworld and appearances from pop culture phenomenon Billie Eilish. As well as fan favorites as Bausa, Dendemann, Hozier, Scooter and many more was revealed in February. The icing on the cake came with Martin Garrix, who wants to curate the entire Perry’s Stage at the Olympiastadion on Sunday with his label STMPD. This week, Marteria & Casper, Rita Ora, and Kungs join the star-studded billing, to complete the lineup for Lollapalooza Berlin 2019.

Lollapalooza Berlin 2018

youtube

The fact that Marteria & Casper are among the best live acts on the continent is something Lolla fans were able to See for themselves as early as 2017 at Hoppegarten, when the audience gets involved in ‘Marteria Girls’ after the first beats and ‘The Last 20 Seconds’, Last year it was not Marteria, but Casper ‘s turn on the mike: Goosebumps were the order of the day as ‘Sirens’ wrestling across the Mayfield in Olympiapark and there was something sublime about several thousand people roaring ‘In the Ash Fall’ (In the Ash Fall ) and ‘Hinterland’ at the top of their lungs. This year it will be ‘So Perfect’ because Marteria & Casper are finally coming together and bringing a lot of ‘Champion Sound’ with them. A gigantic ‘adrenaline rush’ will inevitably ensue and it’s guaranteed to be an absolute blast!

The second confirmation will make fan hearts beat faster: Rita Ora is coming! Rita Ora is what might affectionately be called ‘jack-of-all-trades’: designer, actress, brand ambassador, jury member for The Voice UK – but first and foremost a musician and singer. Cardi B, Calvin Harris, Avicii, One Direction, Liam Payne, and Iggy Azalea, have been included in the series for the first time. We can not wait for Rita Ora’s premiere at Lollapalooza in Berlin.

Lollapalooza Berlin The complete lineup:

This year Lollapalooza Berlin will also be welcoming French DJ and producer Kungs – who was responsible for some of the biggest radio hits and catchy tunes in the past three years including ‘This Girl‘ – for the second time. Of course, Kungs wants to be on the mixer at Perry’s Stage. That’s Matoma, Lari Luke, Skiy and Euxmar, who have just been confirmed.

For the last two slots of the 2019 edition of the festival, the Australian rock band The Faim, who are on the verge of becoming one of the greats, and British punk band Big Joanie wants to rock those guitar strings. Stephanie Phillips, Estella Adeyeri and Chardine Taylor-Stone want to present her debut album ‘Sistahs’!

The musical program is thus complete for this year’s edition. In the coming weeks, Lollapalooza Berlin will be presenting the highlights of the non-musical program elements of the festival in the coming weeks. ‘Kidzapalooza,’ ‘Fashionpalooza’, ‘The Lolla Fun Fair’ with its artists and acrobats, the ‘Green Kiez’ and last but not least ‘Aquapalooza’ will bring with them mystery and enchantment. Because this much is certain: the festival wants to astonish festival fans, offering unforgettable moments on every corner of the festival grounds, providing visitors a chance to enjoy the experience. Because Lolla is different!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The 2-day ticket is currently available for € 149.00; day tickets can be had for € 84.00 on the website. Those looking for the exclusive experience can buy Lolla Experience tickets for € 249.00 or the VIP ticket for € 289.00. This year Lollapalooza is also offering tickets for FlixBus or FlixTrain, which include the return journey from all over Europe and are available for €174.00 including a 2-day ticket or € 274.00 including a Lolla Experience ticket. Booking fees included in the ticket price. Tickets are available HERE.

Lollapalooza Berlin

07. & 08. September 2019 Olympic Stadium & Olympic Park Berlin Website – http://www.lollapaloozade.com Social Media Channels – Facebook – Instagram – Twitter Official Trailer – https://youtu.be/9sllN_BBrgQ Hashtag – #lollaberlin

WORLDWIDE: Here's the Complete Lineup for this year's Lollapalooza Berlin #festival #summer #lollaberlin Lollapalooza Berlin Full Lineup with Marteria & Casper, Rita Ora, and Kungs

#Bausa #Berlin #Billie Eilish #Dendemann #Hozier #Khalid #Kings of Leon #Kraftklub #Lollapalooza #Lollapalooza Berlin #Martin Garrix #Music Festival #Olympiastadion #Scooter #STMPD #Summer #Swedish House Mafia #Twenty One Pilots

0 notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

PIP: Yes and I'll get the uhm

PIP: I'll get the uh

PIP: I’ll get

PIP: …

PIP: Lemme get ahhhh

PIP: Boneless Pizza

PIP: And uh

PIP: Two liter of uh

PIP: Coke

HEIDI: …

HEIDI: The fuck kinda pizza?

HEDI: And the two liter machine broke, we got one liter tho

PIP: The fuck you mean B?

PIP: Alright look,

PIP: Let me get that pizza BONELESS

HEIDI: Uh? Pizza don't got bone in it

PIP: Tf did I just say then

HEIDI: U said "Lemme get it BONELESS " like pizza got a damn bone in it

PIP: Y'all got BONES in ya shit then

HEIDI: Nah

PIP: So what's the problem?

HEIDI: DICK HEAD name one pizza that got bone on it

PIP: Just don't put them shits in my pizza bruh how many times I gotta say it

HEIDI: Bruh jus explain to me how tf pizza can be boneless?

PIP: If it don't got bone in it iss boneless

HEIDI: Son, what school u go to

PIP: dawg I don't understand the problem just make my shit BONELESS DEADASS

HEIDI: I'm deadass not making this pizza…

PIP: Fine, then you deadass better get me exactly what I want

PIP: Why are you so…

PIP: frumpy?

HEIDI: Excuse me?

PIP: You heard me

PIP: You won't even get me a boneless pizza

PIP: How do you think that makes you look?

HEIDI: erm.

PIP: FRUMPY

HEIDI: You wanna play that way, huh?

HEIDI: Number 1, F = (m)(a) = (1000 kg)( 3 m/s²) =

3000 N.

PIP: What.

HEIDI: HMMMM a = F/a = 200 N / 2.5 m/s² = 80kg

PIP: Is there a manager I can speak to?

HEIDI: OHHH, YOU WANT THE ANSWERS TO THE CROSSWORD ???

HEIDI: Ahem

HEIDI: One is centripetal, two is negative acceleration, three is plate tectonics, four is relative motion, five is slope—

PIP: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

HEIDI: SIX IS SPEED, SEVEN IS AVERAGE SPEED

PIP: WHAT'S EVEN THE GODDAMN DIFFERENCE?!

HEIDI: OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

HEIDI: AHEM

HEIDI: THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL PIP: CAN I JUST GET PIP: MY GODDAMN PIP: FOOD PLEASE

TWEEK: WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING NICE??? PIP: I AM BEING NICE!!

TWEEK: BY YELLING??? PIP: FUCK YOU RESPECTFULLY

HEIDI: OKAY FINE, I'LL GET YOU YOUR GODDAMN BONELESS PIZZA OR WHATEVER DUMB QUEER SHIT YOU ORDERED

HEIDI: What do you want you low budget Super Sonic?

TWEEK: Uh yeah uh

TWEEK: What's this thing?

HEIDI: Do you have are stupid?

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: What?

HEIDI: Do you.

HEIDI: Have are.

HEIDI: Stupid?

HEIDI: Bitch?

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: What nonsense are you speaking?

TWEEK: What

HEIDI: That is a MENU

HEIDI: Say it with me

HEIDI: MEN

HEIDI: U!

TWEEK: Oh! A Meenew!

TWEEK: Cool!

PIP: Ignore him, he’s an imbecile

TWEEK: Hey! I'm not…

PIP: Anyways, he’ll have a pudding

HEIDI: We don't serve pudding here

TWEEK: No… no pudding???

HEIDI: No sir, we don’t have pudding

TWEEK: ( starts to cry like a lil bitch )

HEIDI: …

HEIDI: We have jello?

TWEEK: IT'S NOT THE SAME!! WAHHHHH!!!

PIP: He’ll just take a coffee

TWEEK: I DON'T WANT COFFEE!! I WANT PUDDIN!!

PIP: Shut

PIP: The

PIP: FUCK UP!

PIP: (SLAP )

TWEEK: ( Ugly Crying )

HEIDI: O….

HEIDI: Kkkkkkayyyyy…

HEIDI: What does the walking fetus want?

PIP: The what?

HEIDI: The child

HEIDI: What can we get for your child?

TWEEK: Right! My

TWEEK: My child

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Her names Silly String

HEIDI: Cool

HEIDI: Cool cool cool

HEIDI: What does… HEIDI: Silly String

HEIDI: Want to eat

TWEEK: Uh…

TWEEK: What do kids eat?

TWEEK: Do kids even eat?

HEIDI: Yes, kids eat, captain obvious

PIP: Tweek she’s eating a crayon

TWEEK: Oh

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Do kids eat crayons?

PIP: No

PIP: No they do not

HEIDI: Does

HEIDI: Does Silly String

HEIDI: Want the jello instead?

TWEEK: No

TWEEK: I'm not feeding her that garbage

PIP: Can we just get a round of tater tots?

PIP: Please

HEIDI: Sure

HEIDI: Whatever gets me to stop talking to you

HEIDI: And whatever gets me paid

PIP: Well! That went over nicely!

TWEEK: You slapped me

PIP: It's a start

TWEEK: No

TWEEK: It's really not

PIP: I'm recovering

PIP: I'm changing

PIP: I'm metamorphosing

PIP: I'm evolving

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Whatever

TWEEK: You seeing this shit, Silly String?

SILLY STRING: ( Grunt of disapproval )

PIP: What, so you’re getting your child to hate me too?

TWEEK: You hate us

PIP: I mean

PIP: True

PIP: But I'm changing

TWEEK: Liar

PIP: Okay I'm lying

PIP: But Estella put me in a fucking time out

PIP: So I have to act nice

PIP: Even though I really

PIP: REEEEALLY

PIP: Don’t want to be

SILLY STRING: ( confused grunt )

TWEEK: Estella's your grandma, Silly String

SILLY STRING: ( surprised grunt )

PIP: Ugh

PIP: I hate Mum…

TWEEK: You see her as a mom too?

PIP: I

PIP: Uh

PIP: NO PIP: I NEVER SAID THAT

PIP: She's just so overprotective of us all the damn time

PIP: IT'S ANNOYING

TWEEK: SHhh

TWEEK: Don't shout!

TWEEK: There's people behind us…

TWEEK: Why the fuck are they looking at us like that?

PIP: It's the queer stare

PIP: They're harshly judging you

TWEEK: Oh god…

TWEEK: Heyyyyy

TWEEK: Silly String, say hi

SILLY STRING: ( excited grunting )

TWEEK: You all look

TWEEK: SO cool

TWEEK: Did you come from the Pride Parade?

TWEEK: Er- I mean…

TWEEK: Uh…

TWEEK: This is my son

TWEEK: …Daughter?

TWEEK: Child?

TWEEK: I don't know what Silly String is…

PIP: Didn’t you call her, “her ” earlier?

TWEEK: I mean,

TWEEK: YEAH

TWEEK: That doesn't mean I know

TWEEK: Wait

TWEEK: What are you, Silly String?

SILLY STRING: ( I don't know grunt )

PIP: It's a mystery!

PIP: How are you all this lovely evening?

PIP: Just SWELL I presume?

TWEEK: Pip your eye is twitching

PIP: IT'S HAPPY SEIZING!!!

TWEEK: No… no pretty sure it's twitching

PIP: HAPPY. SEIZING. I'M SO JOYFUL I'M EXPRESSING IT THROUGH MY EYE!

TWEEK: …Sure…

(Edits made by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)

60 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

TOLKIEN: Zzzzzzzzrzrzrzrrzzzz

TOLKIEN: Zzazzazazezezezezezrzrzzrrzrrr

PHONE: ♪ I'M A BARBIE GIRL ♪

PHONE: ♪ IN THE BARBIE WORLD ♪

PHONE: ♪ LIFE IN PLASTIC ♪

PHONE: ♪ IT'S FANTASTIC ♪

TOLKIEN: Huhhheheehdbfd…

TOLKIEN: Huh

TOLKIEN: What

TOLKIEN: What the fuck?

TOLKIEN: Why is my phone going off?

TOLKIEN: Are the fucking queers calling me again?

TOLKIEN: Eeeeyup its them

TOLKIEN: What

GARY: Have you ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend cuz she has a twin sister and you got confused and fucked her dad, well that’s how it feels to drive a Ford F-250. That sounds really cool. But you know what else is cool? The new 2020 Ford F-150, winner of 10 J.D. power awards. Perfect for hauling big things and going long distances. But you want to go offroad? Try the new Raptor Edition, which cannot just go offroad, it is perfect for going extreme off-roading. You can go rock climbing or across a desert, really quickly. It is also good for the great American thing - BBQs! In fact, you can haul MORE than one oven! That's pretty cool, huh? So hurry, and buy the new 2020 Ford F-150, now for sale at your local Ford dealership. RED: Wgat RED: Stop RED: Stop speaking BEBE: Girl get the tape from the backseat RED: Already on it NICHOLE: Heyyyy Tolkien NICHOLE: Did I wake you?

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: No..

NICHOLE: Oh NICHOLE: That’s NICHOLE: That's good

TOLKIEN: What's going on

NICHOLE: So uhm NICHOLE: Ahahaha NICHOLE: Funny story

TOLKIEN: Nichole what did you do??

TOLKIEN: Did you fuckin

TOLKIEN: Commit fraud?

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: Again?

NICHOLE: What NICHOLE: No NICHOLE: Of course not NICHOLE: I am a law abiding citizen NICHOLE: Except for when it comes to the Barbie Movies

TOLKIEN: Okay? We’ve all pirated a Barbie Movie

TOLKIEN: What makes you special?

TOLKIEN: If it's not fraud or piracy what did you even do

NICHOLE: There’s a sentient advertisement in our Porsche now

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: Excuse me?

NICHOLE: Yeah uh NICHOLE: We saw Gary NICHOLE: Or G-4R-Y if you wanna use his actual name? NICHOLE: Fuck I don't know anymore NICHOLE: He was walking in the cold for some reason? NICHOLE: And you know how he only speaks in ads?

TOLKIEN: We all do

BEBE: Wait BITCH do you think we could reprogram him to be like

BEBE: An ALEXA???

GARY: Need some music for that impromptu dance off? Ask Alexa to play songs or playlists from Prime Music and Spotify so you're always ready to show off your sweet moves-if that's what you call them ;) "Amazon Echo: Alec Baldwin and Missy Elliott Dance Party Commercial" via @popisms :https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/126873/Amazon-Echo-Commercial-2016 GARY: I really don't want you to see me like this. You need some entrance music. Alexa, play Alex dance playlist. Playing Alex playlist. That's dance music? Alexa, play Pep Rally by Missy Elliott. Really? Perfect! I got a little something for you. It's beautiful. Does this mean I'm gonna be in your next video? Let me see what you got. (Lyrics) Anything you want me to (Lyrics) Pep rally, pep rally, pep rally Oh, this a pep rally Pep rally, pep rally, pep rally Bounce, biggity bounce, biggity-biggity bounce, bounce Where my clappers that stomp? Now rock with it Bounce, biggity bounce, biggity-biggity bounce via @popisms : https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/126873/Amazon-Echo-Commercial-2016 GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises! RED: I mean RED: I’ll become a mechanic if it gets him to stfu 💀💀💀 WENDY: No- RED- NO PUT THE WRENCH DOWN! RED: FUCK YOU GARY: The future. You used to chase it. Now you’re living in it. The Wavefront is an all-electric automobile that propels driving into a new era. With sleek, aerodynamic design, and ultrasonic sensors that prevent collisions, there’s no more getting left behind. Life’s short. Drive fast. GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises! RED: SHUT THE FUCK UP!! WENDY: RED!! NO!! BEBE: GIRLY POPS AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU BEBE: I'M GONNA HIT A DEER IF YOU ALL DONT HUSH RED: WENDY LET ME GO I'M GONNA KILL HIM WENDY: WE ARE NOT KILLING THE AD NICHOLE: SHUT THE FUCK UP IM ON THE PHONE BEBE: SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M DRIVING!!!! RED: CAN I THROW HIM OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR??!?!?!?!?!? WENDY AND NICHOLE: NO!!! NICHOLE: Tolkien I'm gonna have to let you go NICHOLE: We might die- NICHOLE: RED PUT DOWN THE WRENCH YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE! RED: THAT'S THE GOAL!! GARY: As a parent, I want to know that my kids are safe wherever they are. That includes riding in the car. With the new Carpool Optic from Solar I can breathe easy knowing my kids will arrive where they need to safely – whether I am the driver or not. RED: AUGHHHH!!!!!! NICHOLE: I’m hanging up now NICHOLE: MMMMMMMMMOKAYBYE

TOLKIEN: Bye?

(Beep Beep Beep)

TOLKIEN: Jesus christ

TOLKIEN: (Yawn)

TOLKIEN: Man

KENNY: Hey

TOLKIEN: Ah!

TOLKIEN: Oh my god I got jumpscared by a fucking queer!

KENNY: Oh hardy har har har

KENNY: You got games on yo phone?

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: What

KENNY: Do you got games

KENNY: On yo phone

TOLKIEN: I mean like

TOLKIEN: I got like

TOLKIEN: Subway surfers??

TOLKIEN: If

TOLKIEN: If that works???

TOLKIEN: Uh

TOLKIEN: Ok?????

TOLKIEN: Here

KENNY: Thanks

KENNY: Oh yeah, can I call my sister while I play subway surfers?

KENNY: I gotta make sure she’s not

KENNY: Yknow

KENNY: Fuckin’ dead

TOLKIEN: No you’re gonna kill my damn battery

TOLKIEN: Just call your sister you dont need to play fucking subway surfers

KENNY: Fine

KENNY: Killjoy

TOLKIEN: Ugh

KAREN: I can't believe McDonald's served me that lukewarm fucking patty

KAREN: And then had the AUDACITY to tell me KAREN: That it gets cold over time!?!?

KAREN: I think they just undercooked it ON PURPOSE to make ME look like an idiot

TRICIA: Damn, that's crazy

(🎵 KAREN METAL 🎵 )

KAREN: OH MY GOD

KAREN: WHO'S CALLING ME AT EXACTLY 1:59 IN THE MORNING?!?!?

TRICIA: Bro just say 2 AM 💀

TRICIA: …

TRICIA: I can’t believe I just said that out loud

KAREN: WHAT?!?!?

KENNY: Hi

KAREN: WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?!?!?

KAREN: DO YOU KNOW HOW LATE IT IS?!?!?!

KAREN: I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER

KENNY: Sis it's me

KAREN: UGHHHHH

KAREN: You missed your nail appointment

KENNY: Shiiiit that was today?

KAREN: You still owe me the money for it

KENNY: … KENNY: Karen, we don't have money, we’re poor

KAREN: Get a job

KENNY: …I do have a job

KAREN: Okay so then you have money?

KENNY: No

KAREN: That doesn't make sense

KENNY: Anyways- KENNY: You alive?

KAREN: Clearly

KENNY: Okay cool KENNY: So uh KENNY: There's demons around, I hope they find you and kill you and you die bye

KAREN: …What?

KAREN: Tricia do you know what the fuck he’s talking about?

TRICIA: No

TRICIA: Also stop calling on speakerphone

TRICIA: You remind me of my brother (derogatorily)

TRICIA: …

TRICIA: WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT!?!??!

TRICIA: UGHHH

TRICIA: I’m gonna go yell at my brother by cursing me into the influencer gene pool

TRICIA: You wanna come?

KAREN: If I get to yell at someone, of course

TRICIA: Be-

TRICIA: …

TRICIA: I'm not even gonna say that

CRAIG: Who the fuck where you talking to

CRAIG: I feel like they were talking shit smh my head

KENNY: Oh just my bitch sister and your bitch sister

KENNY: Told her she was gonna die soon

CRAIG: LMAOOOO I’m dead 💀💀💀

KENNY: Lol it was funny she was so mad

TOLKIEN: I swear to god you guys are the same person sometimes

CRAIG: Smh my head no literally untrue

KENNY: Common Tolkien L

TOLKIEN: I want you both dead

CRAIG: …

KENNY: …

TRICIA: Okay where tf is blud

TRICIA: I'm gonna kill his ass

KAREN: Ugh

KAREN: He probably set up Kenny to fucking prank us

KAREN: Going to yell at them both when we find them

TRICIA: For real

TRICIA: Smh my fucking head

TRICIA: OH MY GOD CAN I STOP DOING THAT!?!?

KAREN: There's his door

KAREN: Should I kick it down?

TRICIA: No he will literally kill me

TRICIA: Instead we’re gonna go in his room

TRICIA: Steal all his shit

TRICIA: And fucking burn it

KAREN: Ohh yay! Property damage! My favorite!

TRICIA: Shhh shhh shhhh

TRICIA: Stfu

TRICIA: He’ll hear us

KAREN: No

KAREN: You're not the boss of me

TRICIA: Okay

TRICIA: On three

TRICIA: One- Two-

KAREN: THREE

KAREN: Ew it's so dark in here

KAREN: It smells like fucking Ccool Ranch Doritos in here

TRICIA: Shut the fuck up

TRICIA: He’s gonna hear you

TRICIA: I know where he keeps his Supreme hoodies

TRICIA: HOOOOOLY SHIT IS THAT A DEAD BODY!??!?!?!?

KAREN: AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

KAREN: WE ARE GONNA DIE

KAREN: GET THE MANAGER!!

TRICIA: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE KILLER COULD STILL BE HERE YOU QUEERMO

GREGORY AND ESTELLA: Shhhhh he eepy

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

KAREN AND TRICIA: AAAAAAAAAAA-

TRICIA: Okay

TRICIA: HAILLLL NAWHHHHH

KAREN: I’m calling the police

TRICIA: That is the smartest thing you could ever do

KAREN: Hello? 911?

KAREN: Hi yeah, there's some queers in our house

KAREN: Please come

KAREN: Bye

(Edits made by @pissblanket and @cattpup5)

56 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 2 months

Text

GREGORY: Well! That was incredibly draining.

ESTELLA: Oh don’t you even start, young man!

ESTELLA: You barely did a thing!

GREGORY: Oh I HELPED!!!

ESTELLA: When I ASKED!!!

ESTELLA: You were more concerned with playing Papa’s Cupcakeria!

GREGORY: That game is really fun, okay?!

ESTELLA: Whatever, what shall we do now?

GREGORY: …Play Papa’s Cupcakeria together?

ESTELLA: No thank you.

ESTELLA: I do not mean to offend, but If I hear that game’s soundtrack one more time I will throw that computer.

GREGORY: Hmmm…

GREGORY: I know!

GREGORY: We could play Kiss, Marry, Kill!

ESTELLA: GREGORY!!!

ESTELLA: NO!!!! ESTELLA: That game is lewd, violent, and inappropriate!

ESTELLA: Who would we even be kissing, marrying, and killing in these scenarios???

GREGORY: Why, the humans, of course!

ESTELLA: Absolutely not.

GREGORY: Awww! Pleeeease??

ESTELLA: Gregory. Bellarose.

GREGORY: Pretty please?

ESTELLA: Gregory. Wolfgang. Bellarose.

GREGORY: What if I said pretty please with a cherry on top covered in a banana sundae?

ESTELLA: …

ESTELLA: I do like banana sundaes…

GREGORY: Wonderful!!!

GREGORY: Starting off strongly, Craig.

GREGORY: Can we agree to kill this one?

ESTELLA: As a pacifist, I firmly believe others do not deserve death…

ESTELLA: ….

ESTEALLA: However

ESTELLA: He has gone through great lengths to ensure your internet extravaganza is as unenjoyable as possible, so I agree.

ESTELLA: Put the boy in the Pear Wiggler.

GREGORY: I did not expect that, being honest…

ESTELLA: No.

ESTELLA: Kill this one too.

GREGORY: Estella! I am surprised at you!

ESTELLA: I had to be in. That INCELS body. For three. Hours.

ESTELLA: I could not bathe.

ESTELLA: The body was constantly SHITTING itself.

ESTELLA: And he smelt of doritos and body odor.

ESTELLA: I think my choice is justified.

GREGORY: Okay queen, that was actually really slay of you! Go off!

GREGORY: I think his little ex is more tolerable, though!

ESTELLA: I hate to be mean, but he was right to break up with him.

GREGORY: Exactly! Those nasty ass hands…

ESTELLA: Please don't remind me…

ESTELLA: Now, I wouldn't marry Tolkien, but a smooch wouldn't hurt anyone.

GREGORY: For what he did to Clyde I'd get down on my knees and start throwing rings at him.

ESTELLA: I thought you liked that Stanley boy?

GREGORY: Mmmm…

GREGORY: Reconsidering my options….

ESTELLA: Oh dear, why so?

GREGORY: HE WON’T SMOOCH ME!!!!

ESTELLA: That is his loss then! You are a wonderful boy, Gregory. You deserve better.

GREGORY: Estella you don't get it.

GREGORY: Dad bods and pathetic men are my weakness.

ESTELLA: Gregory…. Raise your standards for your own sake…

GREGORY: If my standards went any higher, I'd be single for life.

ESTELLA: Fair enough, I suppose…

GREGORY: WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME!!!???

ESTELLA: He may not like men, dear….

GREGORY: HOMOPHOBIA!!! HE IS HOMOPHOBIC!!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO KISS ME AND THAT MAKES HIM A HOMOPHOBE!!!!

ESTELLA: I suppose I'm killing this one too…

GREGORY: I'm forcing him into marriage. He. Will. Kiss. Me.

ESTELLA: Gregory, calm down.

ESTELLA: You're here, I need you here.

GREGORY: Sorry… sorry…

GREGORY: Oh Dear look at that one…

GREGORY: Green is NOT his color…

ESTELLA: Don't be rude! You can not bully him!

GREGORY: What? It's not bullying! It's an astute observation! He's a ginger! Gingers don't look good in lime green! It's constructive criticism!!!

GREGORY: Oughh… I think I'm going to have to kill him…

ESTELLA: GREGORY!!!

ESTELLA: (Sigh)

ESTELLA: I for one, think he's a nice boy, and will give him a little smooch, as a treat.

GREGORY: Erm… which one's this again?

ESTELLA: Oh I'm afraid I don't know.

GREGORY: Is he new or something?

ESTELLA; Oh no no no! I think he's the blue haired Fellow!

ESTELLA: TrollyHomme was his name, right?

GREGORY: Hell-

ESTELLA: Language

GREGORY: -If I know

ESTELLA: Hmmmm….

GREGORY: Kill?

ESTELLA: Kill?

GREGORY: Kill.

ESTELLA: Mhm.

GREGORY: Hmmm, I'm not sure about this one?

GREGORY: I think this will be the first one I kiss.

GREGORY: That country accent weakens me.

ESTELLA: What accent he speaks in mumbles.

GREGORY: You can hear it sometimes!!!

ESTELLA: No you cannot.

GREGORY: How can you not?? It's so obvious!

ESTELLA: I have no comment on this one. He smells of metal, which concerns me.

GREGORY: Why? He could just be a mechanic?

ESTELLA: Or a murdering robot.

GREGORY: Oh please! They haven't been active in centuries, we'll live.

(edits made by @pissblanket)

36 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 2 months

Text

GREGORY: It seems I’ve forgotten about our other bestie.

GREGORY: I know everyone is just dying to hear his story that’s totally not boring at all!

ESTELLA: Don’t be rude! Tweek was so knowledgeable when you first met him, was he not?

GREGORY: In some ways, I suppose so. But I should probably start from the beginning.

GREGORY: One day I was taking a stroll, with my pansy shoes, and I ran into the creature. GREGORY: Honestly, he put me off at first. His opening lines were… loco.

TWEEK: Are you one of them?

GREGORY: What?

TWEEK: The prophecy said the blasphemous hellion traitors would return. The end is coming.

GREGORY: ¿Tú hablas ingles, pendejo?

^ (TRANSLATION FROM MOD NOAH: "Do you speak English, asshole?", please correct me if I am wrong Spanish isn't my first language!)

TWEEK: We are all doomed. The world will be engulfed in its heinousness, the last light fading.

GREGORY: Okay, is there anyone here that isn’t a batshit cross-eyed freak?

MRS. TWEAK: Aw, what a small and insignificant creature!

MR. TWEAK: He looks positively horrified! This is great!

MRS. TWEAK: Hello you ugly infected little pinky toe!

MR. TWEAK: Hello little sneeze swaggler!

GREGORY: Kill me.

TWEEK: I pray for freedom of death everyday.

MR. TWEAK: Don’t listen to our son, we were just about to send him off to the funny farm!

MRS. TWEAK: Where all the children sing and play.

TWEEK: Please don’t let them send me to conversion therapy. I can’t go back. THE WAR–!

MR. TWEAK: Ah ah ah! Shut up or you get the stinky shoe ☝️🤓

MRS. TWEAK: Don’t worry, Tweek is just our silly little disappointment!!

TWEEK: Help. Please.

MRS. TWEEK: Shut the fuck up you failed fucking abortion

TWEEK: I hope the robots consume your sinned soul first, Helen.

GREGORY: It went something like that, I believe.

ESTELLA: Very informative, Gregory!

GREGORY: I only give the people what they want. Or what they didn’t ask for.

(Written and Edited by @pissblanket and @imlivinginyourtrashcan)

#craigfluencer #craig tucker #south park #hellpark #southpark #sp #south park edits #underworld park pip #underworld park clyde #underworld park #underworld park craig #underworld park estella #underworld park tweek #underworld park thomas

41 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 22 days

Text

GREGORY: HELLOOOOO MY BONITA FABULOSO QUEENIES!

GREGORY: It’s me, Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd, queer. Today, my little munchkirooroos, It's show and tell!!!!!!

GREGORY: Unfortunately, I am the only active participant :(. You see, Estella is busy, the other two are out, and Tommyboy is feeling a bit under the weather (he is muy muy dead).

GERGORY: But that won’t take away my sparkle. ✨️✨️✨️✨️💖💖💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋💋😘😘😘😘😘😚😚😚😚😚😽😽😽😽💏💏💏💏💏🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈👬👬👬👬👬💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺

GREGORY: Here, I have some amazing pictures that were taken on my polaroid 🤩😍😘

GREGORY: FYI, i was QUITE the photographer in my day. I took pictures of THE Mona Lisa, Marie Antoniette AND Napoleon Bonaparte!!!!!!! You know that one meme? I took the picture for it. (Not to mention the others I’ve taken photos of [Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King Jr, Sigmund Freud, The Virgin Mary, Abraham Lincoln, Emmanuel Macron, Aaron Powell, The Girl With a Pearl Earring, Shakespeare, Uncle Sam, Maya Angelo, Joseph Stalin, Count Saint Germain, Friedrich Nietzsche, Socrates, King Edward II, Bugs Bunny, Alexander Hamiliton, Karl Marx, JFK, Cleopatra, Nikola Tesla, and Babe Ruth. <3])

GREGORY: This first group here shows a militia of degenerates. They all equally smell like tar, except for the one with the… excrement on his hands.

GREGORY: I’m still a bit peeved with Stanley because of his blatant homophobia.

GREGORY: It’s insane to think that someone WOULDN’T want to kiss ME.

GREGORY: And now here, as you can see, is my lovely friend group. OHHMYGOSH we’re like a big happy family!!!!!!

GREGORY: Mm, I think we can all tell who the responsible adults and the idiot children are…

GREGORY: Madam Estella will take good care of everyone, even though they’re not all made equally.

GREGORY: But, after witnessing such accurate lifelike portyals (because I took them on my pink polaroid) ((and they’re very real)) I believe we can conclude this update.

GREGORY: Do go follow my other socials for updates on my mukbang stream! I’m eating everything I can find in Craig’s pantry! <3

(Writen and edited mostly by @pissblanket, I [@imlivinginyourtrashcan] helped with a bit of writing and drew both the pictures and edited them, enjoyyy!)

#underworld park gregory #craig tucker #craigfluencer #south park #south park edits #southpark #hellpark #sp #underworld park #underworld park pip #underworld park clyde #underworld park tolkien #underworld park estella #underworld park thomas #team gregory cutie pie 3rd #gregory cutie pie vrs craig the real tucker

27 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 6 months

Text

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: You

TWEEK: Mister

TWEEK: Tinfoil

TWEEK: Hat

TWEEK: Guy

KENNY: Stan

TWEEK: What

KENNY: His names Stan

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: I'm not gonna remember that

TWEEK: You said you had

TWEEK: Like

TWEEK: A bunker

TWEEK: Right?

STAN: Yeah

CRAIG: Dog shit covered ahhh barn 💀

TWEEK: Why is he saying Skull emoji out loud

TOLKIEN: Not even WE know at this point

KYLE: We gotta get him to stop that

KYLE: It's more annoying than KYLE: ….Whatever….. Stan's got going on

CRAIG: Omg not you slandering me 💀

CRAIG: Don't even rn you look like the Goodwill shat you out

KYLE: Fuck you

KYLE: You know that Supreme hoodie isn't even real Supreme, right?

CRAIG: Lmao what

CRAIG: Me when I lie

KYLE: Nonononono

KYLE: Look look look

KYLE: It says “Souprem”

KYLE: It's fake merch dude

KYLE: Its as fake as those fucking yeezys

CRAIG: ….

KYLE: …Dude?

CRAIG: No that's my other hoodie

KYLE: Are you fucking serious

KYLE: You aren't even rich stop acting like you are

CRAIG: Nuh uh

KYLE: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH????

TOLKIEN: Kyle, just give it up

TOLKIEN: Trying to convince Craig he isn't rich is like trying to convince a toddler to wipe their own ass

TOLKIEN: It's not worth it

CLYDE: …. CLYDE: Why do I feel like that was directed towards me?

TOLKIEN: Because It was, Clyde

CLYDE: OH COME ON I WASH MY OWN ASS

TOLKIEN: NO THE FUCK YOU DO NOT YOU SMELL LIKE A TACO BELL CLYDE: FUCK YOU CLYDE: AT LEAST TWEEK LIKES ME TOLKIEN: OH SURE SURE SURE TOLKIEN: TWEEK DOESN'T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU TOLKIEN: THERE'S NO WAY SOMEONE LIKE TWEEK WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GO AFTER YOU, YOU FUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUELED SHITSTAN

CLYDE: THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING I'M TRANS BUT FUCK YOU FOR INSULTING ME

TOLKIEN: YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, FUCK YOU TOO

CLYDE: YOU KNOW WHAT?? I BET YOU 30 BUCKS I CAN PULL IN TWEEK WITH MY MANLY AWESOMENESS

TOLKIEN: I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS YOU CAN'T

CLYDE: FINE

TOLKIEN: FINE

CLYDE: LETS FUCKING GO

CLYDE: I'LL ASK OUT TWEEK AND IT'LL BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER

STAN: Hmmm

STAN: At my barn we could like

STAN: Use my dad and my sister

STAN: As like

STAN: Food

KYLE: Dude no

KYLE: I am not resorting to cannibalism

CARTMAN: Kahl, you’ve eaten animals, that's basically like eating people

KYLE: Okay mr “forty big macs in one day”

CARTMAN: Uhm, actually they're vegan chicken patties KYLE

CARTMAN: ALSO did you just ASSUME my GENDER????

CARTMAN: YOU ARE GETTING C A N C E L L E D

CARTMAN: I WANT A TEAR RIDDEN UKELELE FILLED APOLOGY RIGHT NOW

KYLE: Oh my GODDDDD

KENNY: Actually studies show that most human meat is similar taste wise to chicken

CRAIG: I thought it was pork

CRAIG: Like

CRAIG: Deadass

CRAIG: Like pigs

CRAIG: Like deadass pigs

KENNY: We know what pork is CRAIG

STAN: Yeah

STAN: So we’re fucking set

CARTMAN: Uhhh no thanks, i’d rather be one with the animals and eat dirt and hay

STAN: We don't even have animals

CARTMAN: I’ll just eat the weed then

STAN: What

KENNY: What

KYLE: What

CRAIG: LMAOOOOOOO IM DEADDDDDDD 💀 💀 💀

CARTMAN: What???

CARTMAN: It's like eating catnip

CARTMAN: Besides its environmentally friendly

STAN: What's your source

CARTMAN: Wikipedia

STAN: Ooooof course it is

STAN: The internets lying to you, you know

CARTMAN: Fuck off, Stan, Queermo

STAN: IM TELLING THE TRUTH HERE

TWEEK: HhhhuGiyhvfdeiohjd

TWEEK: OKay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: We’re set on a TOTALLY ANONYMOUS LOCATION

TWEEK: Awesome

TWEEK: Great

TWEEK: Dandy even!

TWEEK: Everyone

TWEEK: Lets hold hands

CRAIG: I am not touching Clydes fucking shitstained hands

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: I’ll hold Clyde's hand

TOLKIEN: Why do you wanna touch Clydes hands thats fucking nasty

CRAIG: For real

CRAIG: Preach 🙏🙏🙏

TWEEK: I don't care

TWEEK: It's just for a bit TWEEK: I can wash my own hands afterwards

CRAIG: EWWWW FAGS

CLYDE: Aww… really?? :D

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: Sure

TWEEK: Whatever

CLYDE: Nobody other than Tolkien has wanted to hold my hand before! :DD

TOLKIEN: Was that before or after I figured out you don't wash your hands

TWEEK: Who else is fine with

TWEEK: Touching Clyde

CRAIG: Stop making me have gay thoughts, Playboi Carti

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: I don't

TWEEK: I'm not

TWEEK: Just

TWEEK: Hold hands

TWEEK: You all have socks on

TWEEK: I think

TWEEK: So it's not gay

CARTMAN: Uhm erm erm erm

CARTMAN: Actually

CARTMAN: That's a homophobic statement

TWEEK: CRAIG SAID A FUCKING SLUR?????????

TWEEK: WHAT???????

TWEEK: IM TWEEK: HUH TWEEK: WHAT TWEEK: OKAY

TWEEK: JUST TWEEK: JUST HOLD HANDS TWEEK: STOP MAKING THIS HARDER FOR ME

CLYDE: Wow

CLYDE: I forgot CLYDE: What holding hands felt like

KYLE: Woah

KYLE: This reminds me of the first episode of My Little Pony

KYLE: Where

KYLE: Twilight and her friends

KYLE: Find the friendship trinkets or whatever

KYLE: And they reverse the curse on them that turns them into stone

KYLE: And they used them to like

KYLE: Defeat Nightmare Moon

KYLE: Turning her back into Princess Luna

KENNY: That was so fucking gay

KENNY: I feel like I'm gonna vomit rainbows because of you

CARTMAN: Kenny stop being homophobic

CARTMAN: I will cancel you again

KENNY: Fuck off I know that blue hair you wear online is a wig

CARTMAN: BITCH-

TWEEK: SHUT UP

TWEEK: ALL OF YOU TWEEK: MY SATAN

TWEEK: CAN YOU ALL GO LIKE TWEEK: TWO MINUTES WITHOUT FIGHTING AND OR DEGRADING EACH OTHER

KENNY: ….

CARTMAN: …. KYLE: …..

LITERALLY EVERYONE: …..

CRAIG: Slllaaa-

TOLKIEN: Dont

TOLKIEN: Just

TOLKIEN: Do not

TOLKIEN: Actually, you’ve lost speaking privileges

CRAIG: 😡

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Is

TWEEK: Is everyone holding hands

CRAIG: yeah its like Kumbaya frfr

TOLKIEN: Stop talking

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Alakazam

TWEEK: Alakazane

TWEEK: Im sending you off this mortal plane

KYLE: Wait wha-

CRAIG: Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe!

KENNY: Yoooo

CRAIG: Like and Share! Like and Share! Like and Share!

TOLKIEN: Haaaaa

TOLKIEN: What

TOLKIEN: Was that

TWEEK: Magic Trick

TOLKIEN: What

TWEEK: Hey you have a lot of free time when you live in a dumpster

CRAIG: Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link!

TOLKIEN: Whatever, please for the sake of our brain cells, never do that again

KENNY: I dunno

KENNY: I thought that was pretty cool

CRAIG: Kombucha? I LLLOOOVVVEEE KOMBUCHA! Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Humans

TWEEK: Freaks

TWEEK: Whatever your names are

TWEEK: Get in the fucking barn

TWEEK: Now, quoting the safety psas from Estella,

TWEEK: Don't open the door for strangers, Don’t investigate any random noises, don't take any offers from strange men in white vans, don't help anyone, if anyone says they're friends of your parents do not trust them

TWEEK: And for goodness sake,

TWEEK: USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM

CRAIG: I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis!

STAN: One, what are we, five?

STAN: Second

STAN: It's a backup bunker, not a barn

TWEEK: WHATEVER! JUST- GET IN

TWEEK: DO YOU WANNA LIVE OR NOT????

STAN: No

TWEEK: …

STAN: …

TWEEK: ….

STAN: ….

TWEEK: ….

TWEEK: O….

TWEEK: Kay…..

TWEEK: Just…..

TWEEK: Get in the barn

STAN: Fineeeee

STAN: Whatever

STAN: Fuck you

CRAIG: [ Gotta sleep in fucking pig shit this sucks fuck this ]

CLYDE: Hey

CLYDE: Hey CLYDE: Hey Tweek

TWEEK: Arrrghhh…What….

CLYDE: Do

CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think

CLYDE: Do you think we CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think we could

CLYDE: Maybe

CLYDE: Like

CLYDE: Go to like

CLYDE: Dennys

CLYDE: After this???

TWEEK: Whats

TWEEK: What's Dennys?

CLYDE: Oh

CLYDE: Uh

CLYDE: Maybe we could like

CLYDE: Go to Olive Garden then?

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: What's an olive?

TWEEK: And

TWEEK: And what's a Garden?

CLYDE: …

CLYDE: Oh you poor

CLYDE: Sweet

CLYDE: Summer child

CLYDE: You know what

CLYDE: I'm gonna take you to the Olive Garden

CLYDE: And you're gonna have the time of your fucking life

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: O

TWEEK: OKAY?????

CLYDE: Alright

CLYDE: I’ll see you there babe

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: UHHH

TWEEK: WHAT

TWEEK: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE TWEEK: WHAT???

TOLKIEN: Don’t fall for that shit

TOLKIEN: He doesn't wash his hands

TOLKIEN: Or his ass

TWEEK: Why's that relevant?

TOLKIEN: IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING?????

TWEEK: CHILL OUT IT'S NOT THAT BAD

TOLKIEN: YES IT IS??????

TWEEK: …Whatevs

TOLKIEN: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????

(edits made by @pissblanket)

50 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 3 months

Text

GREGORY: Ugh

GREGORY: That one girls hair looked so ugly

GREGORY: It didn't match her clothes at all

GREGORY: I can just tell she’s related to Craig_The_Real_Tucker

ESTELLA: Gregory!! Do NOT be rude!

GREGORY: What!?! I’m just saying!

ESTELLA: They are just children!

GREGORY: So? Children can be ugly as fuck, too!

ESTELLA: Gregory. Don’t make me do the count

GREGORY: Yes, ma'am...

ESTELLA: Well, we cannot discuss anything until Phillip, Tweek and Thomas are back

GREGORY: Ugh, seriously?

ESTELLA: You know our "nobody left behind policy", Gregory!

GREGORY: So what are we supposed to do?

ESTELLA: I suppose we shall have to wait

GREGORY: Hell no

ESTELLA: Language, Gregory!

GREGORY: I’m looking around for something to do

GREGORY: Ugh, there's a drawer full of Supreme hoodies

GREGORY: No way in the seven layers of hell will I ever put these disgraces of fashion on him

ESTELLA: Language!

GREGORY: Hell isn't a curse word, Madame Estella

ESTELLA: It very much so is

GREGORY: This is still not going on him, no matter your insistence.

ESTELLA: He needs warmth Gregory

GREGORY: There's always the option of burning these.

ESTELLA: Quit it!

GREGORY: (scoff)

GREGORY: It doesn’t even suit him well in this lighting anyway

GREGORY: The white barely complements anything

ESTELLA: Young man, i mean it

ESTELLA: Knock. It. Off.

GREGORY: Alright, I suppose no more nitpicking for me…

GREGORY: This will unfortunately have to do…

ESTELLA: While we’re here we may as well close this portal up

GREGORY: Why??

ESTELLA: So no other demons wander and get hurt, of course!

GREGORY: Oh you and your safety

ESTELLA: I don't want the parents of these implings to start worrying if their child goes missing!

ESTELLA: Would you mind giving me a hand?

ESTELLA: I can’t exactly do this type of magic by myself

GREGORY: No!

ESTELLA: Gregory, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!

GREGORY: I’M NOT DOING JACK SHIT I JUST GOT MY NAILS DONE!!!

ESTELLA: LANGUAGE!!!!

ESTELLA: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE GROUNDED TOO?!?! GREGORY: WE ARE THE SAME AGE YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVER ME

ESTELLA: OH YES I DO!! DON’T THINK I WON'T GO THROUGH YOUR INSTAGRAM DRAFTS

GREGORY: YOU WOULDN’T ESTELLA: I VERY MUCH SO WOULD. GREGORY: UGH! FINE! I'LL HELP!!

GREGORY: BUT I AM NOT STANDING!

ESTELLA: Thank you!

GREGORY: (scoff)

GREGORY: (eyeroll)

GREGORY: …?

GREGORY: Oh ho ho! NOW we’re talking!

ESTELLA: Gregory, what are you giggling about?

GREGORY: Ohhhh nothing~

ESTELLA: If you so much as BREATHE on that lap top young man, the last thing that you will be seeing is my sandal

GREGORY: I never said I was going to touch it!

ESTELLA: Well I can tell you were! No electronics until you help me fix this!

GREGORY: Yes ma’am…

ESTELLA: Although…. I suppose you have been very good up until now…

ESTELLA: If you say that you’re sorry for the way that you acted, I allow you to go on the computer until I need you

ESTELLA: But you HAVE to mean it!

ESTELLA: No sarcasm!

GREGORY: Right, right,

GREGORY: I want to apologize to you for what I did, it was VERY wrong and I am VERY sorry

GREGORY: I just would like to move on and lead a normal life, you know?

GREGORY: Get a job, a husband, and change my ways.

GREGORY: I hope this apology impresses you, even though you made me do it and I don’t actually mean it.

ESTELLA: You mean you do mean it?

GREGORY: I mean i do mean it

ESTELLA: Hmmm…..

ESTELLA: I suppose that will do

ESTELLA: Go on, then,

ESTELLA: I'll let you know when you're needed

ESTELLA: Do not give me sass when I need you, either, or else you won't have ANY computer time!

GREGORY: Hooray! Thank you, Estella!

GREGORY: Time to scroll through Instagram reels and hate myself!

(Images edited by @pissblanket)

38 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

CRAIG: …

CRAIG: Hey, Tolkien?

TOLKIEN: What?

CRAIG: So you know how like

CRAIG: Tweek is gay for Clyde

TOLKIEN: Clyde's my ex, don’t do that to me

CRAIG: Whatever

TOLKIEN: Fuck off

CRAIG: You’re supposed to be helping me

TOLKIEN: Keep going on with your point then, boykisser

CRAIG: Faggot

CRAIG: Anyway

CRAIG: You know how Estellas a Lesbian?

TOLKIEN: No?

TOLKIEN: More importantly, how do you know that?

CRAIG: You know how she dresses like a Librarian?

TOLKIEN: Yeah?

TOLKIEN: I just kind of assumed she died in the Victorian Era?

CRAIG: That's how

CRAIG: Everybody in the Victorian Era was fruity

CRAIG: Looked like she obviously had a roommate

TOLKIEN: Keep going before you go into an anti gay rant please

CRAIG: You know how Pip has that same Victorian era effect?

TOLKIEN: Yeah?

CRAIG: And Gregorys just an CRAIG: All around faggot?

TOLKIEN: Uh…

TOLKIEN: Huh?

CRAIG: Well I’ve been doing some thinking

TOLKIEN: That’s a lie

TOLKIEN: You’ve never had a thought in your goddamn life

CRAIG: Fuck you

TOLKIEN: No

CRAIG: So

CRAIG: You know Thomas right?

TOLKIEN: Oh no

CRAIG: I was like

CRAIG: Looking at him

CRAIG: Spent some time alone with him and Tweek

CRAIG: Crying

CRAIG: You know how it is

TOLKIEN: Wait, what?

TOLKIEN: Not that I care but why were you crying?

CRAIG: I forgor

TOLKIEN: Whatever

TOLKIEN: Continue

CRAIG: Ever since I met Thomas

CRAIG: I’ve been having gay thoughts

CRAIG: I was thinking that it was because I was listening to Playboy Carti

CRAIG: So I stopped listening to him

CRAIG: And

CRAIG: I still had gay thoughts of Thomas

TOLKIEN: What TOLKIEN: Kind

TOLKIEN: Of gay thoughts?

CRAIG: Y'know like

CRAIG: Ice cream dates

CRAIG: Kissing

CRAIG: Fag shit you and Clyde used to do

TOLKIEN: Forget I asked

TOLKIEN: Do you think you’re gay or something?

CRAIG: What? Ew no, I’m not a queer

TOLKIEN: Why else would you have these thoughts if you weren't gay?

CRAIG: Uhm

CRAIG: I

CRAIG: Uh

CRAIG: Erm…

TOLKIEN: ….

CRAIG: …

TOLKIEN: ….

CRAIG: ….

TOLKIEN: ….

CRAIG: Holy shit I’m gay

TOLKEIN: There it is

CRAIG: Tolkien what am I gonna do

CRAIG: Online I don’t support the LGTVs

CRAIG: Tolkien

CRAIG: I’m gonna look like a fraud, Tolkien

TOLKIEN: You’ll be fine

TOLKIEN: You’re so dramatic

CRAIG: But

CRAIG: But how is my homophobic ass gonna get a boyfriend?

TOLKIEN: Why don’t you just

TOLKIEN: Ask Thomas?

CRAIG: Are you fucking insane???

CRAIG: NO I am NOT asking Thomas

TOLKIEN: Just do it, you fucking baby

CRAIG: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CRAIG: Fine

CRAIG: But you’re third wheeling

TOLKIEN: ….

TOLKIEN: No

CRAIG: PLEASEEEEE

TOLKIEN: (Sigh)

TOLKIEN: Fine

CRAIG: OMG SLAY QUEEN YASSS BITCH TYSMMMMMM

TOLKIEN: I hope you know I still hate your guts

CRAIG: Love you too Tolkien <3

(Edits made by @pissblanket HOPE YALL ARE HUNGRY!!!)

#craig tucker #craigfluencer #hellpark #south park #south park edits #sp #southpark #underworld park #underworld park tweek #underworld park pip #underworld park clyde #underworld park tolkien #underworld park thomas #underworld park gregory #underworld park estella

47 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

CRAIG: Hey

CRAIG: Can you like,

CRAIG: call someone?

TOLKIEN: Why?

CRAIG: So Kenny stops getting up my ass

TOLKIEN: Who would I even call in this scenario, and WHY?

CRAIG: I don’t know, our queermo lesbian friends from the hypehouse

TOLKIEN: Bebe is the straightest woman alive are you joking?

CRAIG: She hangs out with fags, so shes a fag too

TOLKIEN: Whatever

CRAIG: Thanks Tolkieeeen

TOLKIEN: Yeah yeah yeah….

TOLKIEN: I think we should call Daimen first though

CRAIG: Why? Isn't he at work? Smh my fucking head

TOLKIEN: Yeah, but he doesn’t do jack shit

TOLKIEN: And I can guarantee he’s bored to tears anyway

TOLKIEN: Could use a bit of lightheartedness in this situation

CARTMAN: If you could call OUTSIDE that’d be nice

CARTMAN: I’m trying to get my 8 hours of sleep so I don't get my brain eaten

CARTMAN: It's hard enough as it is with, and no offense to you, Clyde

CARTMAN: CLYDE'S SHITSTAINED ASS SELF SITTING AND SHITTING RIGHT BELOW ME

CLYDE: Dude I have IBS…

CLYDE: Not cool :(

CARTMAN: You can at least change your pants so we don’t have to smell you

CLYDE: I DON'T HAVE ANY

CRAIG: EWWWWW

CLYDE: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRAIG: You guys love the hit game Among Us?

CLYDE: ….

CLYDE: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE MIMIMIMIMIMI

CLYDE: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI

CARTMAN: HONK SHOO HONK SHOO

CRAIG: There we go, they assess is out 💀

TOLKIEN: What, like you?

CRAIG: ….

CRAIG: Tolkien, hurry up and call him

TOLKIEN: Kinda hard to do that when I don't have any service

CRAIG: Just type a bunch of 6s into the phone

TOLKIEN: Will that even work?

CRAIG: It will, I've done it before

TOLKIEN: Of course you would

CRAIG: <3

TOLKIEN: Whatever, worth a shot

TOLKIEN: (Barbie Girl ringtone)

TOLKIEN: Hey Daimen, it's Tolkien

TOLKIEN: Uh

TOLKIEN: We’re kinda fucked right now?

TOLKIEN: I know you don’t really like us but you’re the only person in this group I can really tolerate

TOLKIEN: When you get this can you get to the Barn?

TOLKIEN: You know, the one where we smoked weed at once?

TOLKIEN: Yeah, that one

TOLKIEN: I can’t describe it just in case the other demons are listening

TOLKIEN: They have a target on each of our backs and we don't wanna give away our locations

TOLKIEN: You know?

TOLKIEN: Call me back

TOLKIEN: Fuck you

TOLKIEN: Bye

(Edits made by @pissblanket , credits for video are in video description <3)

#craigfluencer #craig tucker #hellpark #south park #south park edits #sp #southpark #underworld park #underworld park tweek #underworld park pip #underworld park clyde #underworld park tolkien #underworld park damien #underworld park cartman #underworld park gregory #underworld park kyle #underworld park stan #underworld park estella

51 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

*What?! Craig said I can slap people through the phone, though???? HE LIED TO ME!?

Yeah, yeah he did.

-Tolkien

Oh dear me! That's coming on quite strong, I believe. Besides, I believe I am thousands of millennia of your senior, it sadly wouldn't work. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I am afraid I can't marry you :(

With Love,

Estella <3

Why thank you! (That's a compliment, right?)

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

Oh thank you very much, Estella! You're too kind. I'll take on dinner for tomorrow night, I was thinking tofu tacos? I saw a recipe on Tiktok and it seemed absolutely DIVINE!

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

Ah, such kind words, Sugurx3

I'm coming for you, next <3

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

#craig tucker #craigfluencer #hellpark #south park #southpark #sp #south park edits #underworld park #underworld park tweek #underworld park pip #underworld park clyde #underworld park tolkien #underworld park stan #underworld park estella #underworld park gregory #gregory cutie pie vrs craig the real tucker #team gregory cutie pie 3rd

32 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

What the FREAK!!!

Literally get out of there smh my head

-Craig_The_Real_Tucker

Yes of course!! You're so stunning Holly!! If you'd like to come over and paint each others nails I'd be more than happy too!! <333

Also your fashion sense is DIVINE, people could learn a thing or two from you!

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

Finally, a bloke with fucking common sense. Truly so hard to find these days.

-Pip P.

My word! Please do not resort to such drastic measures!

I'm sorry to disappoint you but my answer still remains the same, It is a firm NO, if you cannot respect my wishes than I will no longer answer your asks.

I apologize for being so direct, but I feel as if It must be done.

With love,

Estella.

Didn't she tell you no? I'm sorry but I have to respect her wishes, I love her too much to do this to her (platonically, of course). But I mean.... I'm not opposed to getting a partner... (just... you know... throwing that out there...)

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

WHAT TEHD FFJUXCK WHERED YOU GET THAT YORUEE A SPY YOURE ASPY LEAVE ME ALONE IM NOT PAYIENG MY TAGCES

-Stan

Oh you poor thing!

Why yes of course! I love collaborating with my fans! They've all been such lovely people, as long as you're okay with me doing your makeup/being on video in general, I'd happily collab! Just let me know where and when

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

Literally what the FREAK!!! It's been X for like... a month??? Maybe more?? Smh my fucking head

Hey Anon,

I've got to say, your recent comment about my hair was seriously uncalled for. "Ugly"? Really?

I'm all for expressing opinions, but let's try to keep it real here – your choice of words was downright rude and offensive. It's my hair, not yours, and I don't recall asking for your unsolicited critique.

If you've got an issue or if my hair somehow offends your delicate sensibilities, how about expressing it like a decent human being instead of resorting to insults? It's infuriating to think that someone I know can be so insensitive.

Next time you feel the urge to be brutally honest, maybe take a moment to consider how it might feel on the receiving end. Constructive criticism is one thing, but your comment was just plain mean.

Not impressed,

Blue_Haired_Cartman

That's okay, everyone's entitled to their own opinion,

but it doesn't mean that opinion is correct :)

30 notes · View notes

underworld-park-offical · 5 months

Text

TWEEK: Ugh

TWEEK: Fuck

TWEEK: Of course he wanted to meet me HERE of all places

TWEEK: Big spooky forest were he could potentially mug and murder me

TWEEK: Great

TWEEK: Fucking

TWEEK: Fantastic

TWEEK: HEY!!

TWEEK: GET OUTTA HERE OMINOUS FIGURE!!

TWEEK: YOU CAN'T HAVE MY PUDDIN!!

???: ╤ ╝╤: …

TWEEK: YEAH YOU!!! I'M TALKING TO YOU!!

TWEEK: GET LOST!! TWEEK: I TOLD YOU, YOU CAN'T HAVE MY PUDDIN!! TWEEK: FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

TWEEK: Whuh-

TWEEK: Oh

TWEEK: There you are

PIP: Yeah, I'm here bitch

TWEEK: Why did you wanna meet me here anyway?

TWEEK: You want to fucking kill me or something?

PIP: No?

TWEEK: Oh what a surprise

PIP: Shut the fuck up PIP: Get over here PIP: I don't want to be seen getting shouted at by a deformed looking sewer rat

TWEEK: Rude…

TWEEK: Alright fine

TWEEK: I'm coming you fucking brit..

PIP: I hope you die tripping over a stick on your way over

TWEEK: Why do you hate us so much?

PIP: Pardon?

TWEEK: Don’t act dumb!

TWEEK: All you’ve done since you’ve gotten to Hell was bitch at and berate us!

TWEEK: And STOP walking around with all your demon shit!

TWEEK: YOU’RE GONNA GET US KILLED!

PIP: We can't die, moron

PIP: Didn't you say that to Thomas already?

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Estella's safety psas fucked me up worse than I thought

PIP: Anywhom

PIP: I wanted to meet up with you for a one on one

TWEEK: A what

PIP: A one on one

PIP: Where we just

PIP: Talk?

PIP: Have you never had a one to one conversation with someone before you sentient block of fermented cheese?

TWEEK: No?

TWEEK: And also

TWEEK: Don’t call me that

PIP: You smell of shitstain and dogwater

PIP: Have you been hanging out with Clyde?

TWEEK: What?

TWEEK: NO!

PIP: Don’t act with me

PIP: I can smell him from a mile away

PIP: Please don't say you're catching feelings for that tone deaf scene kid uncle fucker

TWEEK: I…

TWEEK: I mean…

TWEEK: Maybe a little?

PIP: Ohhhh lord, see me through this

TWEEK: His nightcore playlist is actually really good!!

PIP: He doesn't wipe his ASS. TWEEK.

TWEEK: It's not that big of a deal!

PIP: YES IT IS!

TWEEK: He’s really sweet..

TWEEK: I can excuse an unclean ass

PIP: I'm going to vomit all over your jacket, that is disgusting.

TWEEK: He really isn't as bad as people say he is!

PIP: He is an unwashed manchild

PIP: And it's rubbing off on you too

PIP: God, I can smell the fact your music taste has worsened

PIP: ( sniff sniff ) Nope

PIP: That's just fermented pudding on your head

TWEEK: I like puddin :D

PIP: Come on

TWEEK: What?

TWEEK: Where are we going???

PIP: To the laundromat

PIP: The laundromat

PIP: So we can wash the fucking stench of nightcore and cringe off of you

PIP: Come now

PIP: We can’t bring you back to the others smelling like a gamer stuck to their sofa

TWEEK: I don't understand…

TWEEK: What even is a laundro… laun…. laundre….. laun….

TWEEK: AGHHH!!

TWEEK: WHATEVER YOU SAID!!!

PIP: Laundromat you poor

PIP: Stinky

PIP: Stupid

PIP: Summer child

TWEEK: ????

PIP: It's a place where you wash your nasty clothes

TWEEK: What???

TWEEK: You can just???

TWEEK: DO THAT???

PIP: Yes, yes, my dumpster dwelling nuisance, you can do that!

TWEEK: UNHOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME!

TWEEK: I CAN JUST LIKE

TWEEK: THROW MY CLOTHES IN THERE??? TWEEK: AND THEY COME OUT CLEAN???

PIP: Not exactly…

PIP: You have to put them into a machine

PIP: The machines do all the work FOR you

PIP: Because, well,

PIP: Most are too incompetent to do something as simple as washing their clothes

TWEEK: WOAHHH

TWEEK: UNHOLY

TWEEK: TAKE ME INTO THE LAUNDRY MATE RIGHT NOW

PIP: ….

PIP: The

PIP: …

PIP: The what ?

TWEEK: The

TWEEK: The laundry mate

PIP: That

PIP: No

PIP: That's not what it's called

PIP: It's laundromat

PIP: Say it with me

PIP: Laun

TWEEK: Laun

PIP: Dro

TWEEK: Dro

PIP: Mat

TWEEK: Mat

PIP: Okay, now say it faster

PIP: Laun

TWEEK: Laun

PIP: Dro

TWEEK: Dro

PIP: Mat

TWEEK: Mat

PIP: Laundromat!

TWEEK: Lawn dre mat!

PIP: …

PIP: Why do I even bother

TWEEK: What?? What did I say??

PIP: I swear to god Tweek, when we get inside that fucking laundromat I will shove you into the fucking washing machine and watch you DROWN

TWEEK: What?

PIP: You heard me you incompetent fucking POKÉMON

PIP: Come here. Now.

TWEEK: Eeeeeehhhhh

TWEEK: Eeeeeggehhhh

TWEEK: Eeegrrrhhghhh

TWEEK: ….

TWEEK: Do I get

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Do…

TWEEK: Do I…

TWEEK: Do I get a…

TWEEK: Do I get a puddin’ out of it?

PIP: …

PIP: Are you

PIP: SHITTING ME??

PIP: ….

PIP: Of course!

TWEEK: Really???

TWEEK: I get a puddin’???

PIP: No.

TWEEK: Awhhh…

PIP: I'll shove your corpse into the dryer when i'm done with it

TWEEK: ….What did you say?

PIP: I will watch you cough up fucking bubbles

PIP: You get no pudding

PIP: I hope you die

TWEEK: ( Crying )

PIP: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BAKUGOU CLONE

TWEEK: ( Uglier crying ) PIP: UGHHHH

PIP: FIIIIIINE PIP: I'LL GET YOU YOUR FUCKING PUDDING AT DENNY'S PIP: WILL YOU STOP CRYING NOW?!?!?

TWEEK: ( Gasp )

TWEEK: YAY!! PUDDIN!!

PIP: You can even dumpster dive for it like the rat you are

TWEEK: YIPPIEEE!!

(Edits by @pissblanket)

46 notes · View notes