#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

This still sucks so much but I think it has reduced

#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

tfw the fictional characters in your head have stronger bonds with you than most real life people

#im 18 i need to grow out of it #undaydream.txt #mdd feels

[undaydream]

still using this blog, just plan to expand to my screen addiction journey also. look forward to posting more soon.

#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

Why are so many mdders just okay with having it? Are you getting confused with immersive daydreaming or is the feeling of doing it such a relief that you don’t want to stop?

#this is /gen #i bring this up because looking for resources on tumblr #often leads to how to make your daydreams better and not stop them #and i need to stop mines because idk how… #you can live with this without ruining your life #i guess not everyone experiences the same degree of severity as me #and some people DO have valuable and consistent plots in theirs which would be cool to read #but my mdd just takes up so much time for nothing #and i end up feeling lonely #sad… regretful… whenever i do it #maladaptive daydreaming #actually mdd #undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

I think it’s important to recognise that though MDD has protected me a lot, it now holds me back more than anything. Yes, it is a disorder, but it held me when I was 8-15 and all my friendships didn’t feel legitimate and I was constantly undergoing sadness due to them and being bullied in my own friend circles. Which must’ve hurt a lot, and daydreaming protected me from the degree of that hurt because I had friends in my head that not only liked me but truly loved me.

It’s actually pretty hard to “address” trauma now because MDD has acted as a form of repression and a lot of my real memories are blurred because I was constantly out of it, disassociating into my daydreams. And it helped me- at the time- but it doesn’t serve me anymore. I want to let it go.

#actually mdd #undaydream.txt #maladaptive daydreaming

[undaydream]

well time to journal todays daydreams (cringe)

#I dyed my hair today #and honestly i look like more like my paraself… #some changes to go but #honestly dont really know if this is healthy but its the me i want to be #undaydream.txt #tomorrow i have a day to myself…

[undaydream]

my adhd executive dysfunction and my maladaptive daydreaming fighting over who gets to be the procrastination today before recognising me as their common enemy and teaming up to fuck up my life as much as possible

#maladaptive daydreaming #undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

I hate MDD but damn if it helps me cope

#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

going to attempt to dismantle some parts of my life through journalling to figure out why i’m so avoidant of reality

i kinda… refuse to believe that i’m just “like this”

i also believe myself to suffer from anhedonia outside of daydreaming, which is difficult.

i just impulse bought an electric guitar and a kalimba. the kalimba arrives earlier so i can start having fun with it pretty much immediately. the guitar will only arrive in june, it’s a full set to get started. i have a lot of energy to daydream and i suppose i have a theory that… listening to music is a pleasurable experience that triggers daydreams, so logically if i was playing the music myself then the daydream outlet could hopefully be cut off because of my focus whilst the satisfaction of music remains. it might be a stretch but i think we’ve all heard stories of the predominantly hyperactive adhders getting into music which helps them channel some restlessness. i have predominantly inattentive so i just hope it works the same.

#undaydream.txt #how about… #undaydream.mp3 #for music :)

[undaydream]

I think we’re about to find out if having access to a music outlet does anything for MDD

#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

From the MDD advice post, it said you should give your MDD a name and a face. So, I don’t think I’m very good at this but I will try.

My maladaptive daydreaming is…

A pretentious harpy called Dina. She honestly doesn’t know anything about the world and doesn’t really understand humans, but she wants to tell me what to do. And drag me away from other activities so I can daydream.

For a grounding phrase I guess “Not today Dina” has stuck in my head already.

#MDD recovery #personification of my mdd hope it helps #undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

one of my friends apparently hyperfixated on russian and i was so mad at myself (and a little at them because they tried to be relatable and claim it was useless… no? just own it!) because i think ive managed to pull off a successful hyperfixation on japanese only once

#im gonna make this a linguistics blog if i ever surpass mdd #nah… just kidding. i will probably share my advice here if i ever overcome mdd #undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

maladaptive daydreaming, adhd, and phone addiction all go hand in hand.

#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

another day of resisting MDD hmm heres what im gonna do today

1. Japanese

2. Draw

3. Write something new

4. Drink something new

5. Journal

6. Do more of that philosophy course

#i have MDD and i hyperfixate so its like #i feel like im more prone to spending all day on my hyperfixation (genshin) #god i do not want to be hyperfixated on genshin anymore. #i will die for real #undaydream.txt #some FOOL on duolingo took my first place spot #but dont worry im not learning JP via just duolingo #still im mad >:(

[undaydream]

I think I have some favourite themes for my falling asleep paracosms:

Personal favourite is Victorian. All of the historical ones are romanticised beyond belief, though- I might be searching up when telephones were invented but nobody is dying of disease or anything. And everyone is clean. I have a thing for the whole… Victorian maid aesthetic. I like to imagine being one. Of course it always revolves around romance, though, because none of my nighttime paracosms lack a romance plot.

Second favourite is probably just a regular modern au with hints of the criminal underworld sprinkled throughout.

The third is anything spooky, really. We’re talking a wide range. From vampiric castles to the literal backrooms. Don’t ask me how that last one works.

#undaydream.txt

[undaydream]

Things I wanna be able to do better without less MDD’ing:

• Learn languages

• READING! Reading is so hard.

• Music with no getting up…

• Drawing more often

• Meditating more to clear my head

• Less clutter in my brain pertaining to daydreams whenever I’m doing something that matches up to a daydream theme

• Less need for attention and validation from both my daydreams and irl people

#undaydream.txt