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#tw pathetic gortash
cringecannon · 7 months
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Obsessed with the idea of your Dark Urge fics. I'm cackling at the idea of how Gortash would Absolutely Loathe his "nearest and dearest" having an interest in sharpening their new shiny little knife of a darling. So annoying. So irritating. Catching the attention and ire of a certain Banite when you don't even Want to be the Bhaalspawn's new pet project is so nightmarish.
genuinely one of the worst positions to be in.
Your introduction to the banite was tense, to say the least. Meeting his paramour’s new… pet wasn’t something he was interested in. Why they felt the need to introduce him to you is beyond you. Because it’s funny, would be your best guess. Because your torment can’t just be from them, no, that’d be too easy.
Luckily, Gortash seems more than happy to ignore you altogether. Every time they bring you around him he simply acts like you’re not there, despite the teasing and goading of your master. You can tell it’s getting to him. The white-knuckle grip on his utensils as they coo at him from over you shoulder. They’ve sat you on their lap, chin nestled by the crook of your neck as they taunt him from across the dinner table. Why so sour, Enver? They hope he doesn’t feel left out. They’d love to share. His utensils clatter to the table loudly in response and you jump as your master laughs in your ear. The glower he has unsettles you.
You don’t see him for awhile after that. You’re happy for it. You should’ve known better than to let your guard down.
You awaken in the middle of the night to a blade reflecting moonlight onto your face. You barely roll out of the way in time, the blade plunging into your mattress. No weapons, no means to defend yourself. You hate yourself for it, but you have no choice. You scream. The assassin lunges for you, and you block with your arms, the sharp blade easily slicing skin.
Like a shark senses blood, your master is quick to burst into the room. As they tackle the would-be assassin you stumble back, pressing yourself up against the wall. You can’t stay focused. One minute you’re standing, the next you’re sat on your bed, watching the carnage unfold. You’d seen them kill before, but this is different. Wild. Unhinged. The assassin’s face is unrecognizable when they finally slow their assault. They pick up the assassin’s blade and examine it casually, as if the person below them isn’t now faceless and barely conscious.
They ask who sent them. The assassin dares to gurgle something that isn’t a name and your master stabs the blade through their hand with such force that it sparks against the stone. Your head goes elsewhere. When you snap back out of it your master is kneeled between your legs, stitching your arm with a care and precision you wouldn’t expect. The assassin’s corpse lays in a puddle of it’s own blood, body broken and bent. A sharp tug and they tie off the stitch, mumbling something. Mad promises. You don’t care to listen.
When they take your hand you follow obediently, too numb to protest. They lead you along, out of the temple, through the city, alleys you’ve been down dozens of times before. A pit grows in your stomach when you realize where they’re taking you.
You’d eventually find yourself sat prettily in a wooden chair, a quick kiss to your forehead before they wander out of the room. You don’t dare move. You hold as still as possible, even when they return with Bane’s chosen. You prepare for the punishment. The torment they’ve clearly planned for you.
You don’t expect your master to pull the assassin’s knife on him, pressing it to his throat hard enough to draw blood. Kneel. He glares, and doesn’t move. They kick the back of his leg, forcing him to the ground. They could gut him. They remind him that they still might, after the little stunt he’s just pulled. They grab his hair and drag him across the floor, pulling him to you.
They thought him more clever than this. Clearly, his ego is bigger than his brain if he thinks they'll let some little lordling get between them and their plans. He gets two choices. They press the dagger between his shoulder blades, leaning in close. He can apologize, or they’ll get to play in his blood.
After that, they expect you both to put all this silly business aside. His killer-for-hire gave you a nasty cut. It’s only fair he makes it up to you. A matching scar, maybe a kiss to make it better. Plenty of ways to give this night a happy ending, don’t you both agree?
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banes-favourite · 3 months
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I would love more thoughts on Gortash having gender identity issues if you have them 👀
Gimme a deep dive 5 page essay /j
anon i am kissing u on the lips passionately for this ask btw 🙏
(tw for sexu@l and minor abuse)
ok so i think gortash is cis male and he didn't really question his identity as a kid, unless he was assigned like female roles in the games he played with other kids cause they thought he was a bit weird. he didn't mind them, mostly cause he had his own mommy issues and it was oddly healing to play as a mother figure (fic recommendation that gave me this idea in the first place).
in the house of hope, he was looked down upon in many ways, being called names was one of them. obviously there were the typical insults and "boy" in a derogatory way but i think since the whole point of being jailed was to be beaten down into an empty slate for Raphael to use and manipulate, it was also important to strip him of his identity as a whole. Nubaldin was probably great at that, providing equal amounts of both physical and emotional abuse, so i imagine there were points were he was punished for using his own name/pronouns. like, being asked what he is, enver giving a derogatory answer hoping it's the right one and nubaldin punching him anyway because "I used 'he' instead of 'it' for your pathetic ass, you should have corrected me"
once he hit the prepubescent age, they probably started having fun with calling him a girl (coupled with the sexu@l abuse he probably experienced), literally gaslighting him saying he was always a girl, he had no name, are you really that stupid? etc etc. obviously this confused him as it's difficult to keep a straight idea of your self-identity when you're concussed every other day. one minute he was less than dirt, the next he was a rat, then an idiot girl who can't even remember her own name, to the point he was so worn down he just accepted whatever they threw at him. If Raphael wanted him to be a boy, so be it, if he wanted a man, so be it, if he wanted a girl, so be fucking it.
he probably struggled a Lot with puberty too,, it came late to him, malnourished as he was, so the fact that he didn't even have body hair despite his body growing aided the gender misidentity. i think he'd often stare at the mirror, at his body and face, try to understand who he was behind the scars, losing control of himself and his mind. he didn't see himself as human, he was just a thing that was sold and then used and reshaped in whoever's hands he ended up like clay. he'd often ask Hope about it, try to understand how he was viewed by someone who wasn't malicious, and she'd answer as honestly and hopefully as she could but let's be honest, her riddles and tangents most likely just confused him further.
not to mention his twisted attractions?? like through all that, he had to somehow figure out what he was attracted to?? i think a healthy mix of sexu@l trauma and stockholm syndrome ended up contributing to his toxic view on relationships and sex as a whole. there's a reason Durge was the only one he was able to form a genuine relationship with.
anyway, all of it definitely ties in with his name change, too. not only did he struggle with rejoining society after HoH, he had to figure out himself all over again. i think he created the persona of a young, powerful and ambitious man named Enver Gortash and leaned into it so much it simply consumed him. he literally gaslit himself into curing his gender questioning like the girlboss he is.
also if you call him by she/her pronouns he'd most likely answer out of pure instinct
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thepaintedlady00 · 7 months
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Nepenthe
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Character Intro | Chapter 2
Chapter One: The Hanged Man
TW: blood, gore, some very intrusive and vividly dark thoughts about murder killing and so on, this ones gonna be a dark fic so if that's not something you're into steer clear y'all! But, all in all, first chapters pretty tame for the Dark Urge character. I'm going with a Durge that slightly differs from game Durge as she always has a hesitancy to killing and actively "fights" her dark urges from the start which isn't how I feel the in-game character was potrayed, but it's how I wanna do this series so 🤷‍♀️, I also really wanna let everyone know I'll be taking some creative liberties with the story and I'll be making the villains a bit more "redeemable" (mostly Gortash) they'll all still be the villains and they'll still do the evil shit but with Gortash in particular I wanna add some hints of regret and remorse for his wrong doings so I can give the asshole a happy ending! Because I am a whore for redemption arcs and happy endings! 😅😂
nepenthe • \nuh-PENTH-ee\ • noun. 1: a potion used by the ancients to induce forgetfulness of pain or sorrow; 2: something capable of causing oblivion of grief or suffering.
I had been called many names. Thief. Urchin. Whore. Murderer. Assassin. Monster. Demon. They all held some modicum of truth; after all, how else was one such as myself supposed to live? I bore no family name and held no lands or titles. All I had was a dagger and the blood on my hands. All I had to guide my path… To help me understand who… What I was was but an ember. A word whispered on hushed, fearful tongues.
Bhaalspawn.
It was a myth. Some horror story told by parents to keep their children in line. I knew there could be no truth in it… knew there could be no chance of it being a reality. I'd hunted down every piece of evidence I could over the years, and all of it told the same story. The spawn of Bhaal were long dead - all of them.
I could not be this. And yet the word echoed in me, rattling against my skull almost as loudly as the call for blood. And so, I continued hunting this rumor to the ends of Faerun. Hunting and hoping and killing and running. It was a hideous, pathetic life, but it was all I had. All I'd ever have if I stopped searching now.
Most would find the prospect of being some murderous creature horrifying. Most would have stopped searching when it became possible, but they didn't have this hunger. They didn't feel their skull burning, their whole being screaming for blood. They weren't like me.
From my rooftop perch above the city, I watched the people live their boring little lives. The marketplace was full of bodies, bags of flesh and bones and blood, hurrying and shouting and laughing without a care in the world. Sheep. A pen of them, mindlessly baaing to one another, completely unaware of the wolf lurking above them.
How I longed to leap down from that roof, to slither in what shadows I could find and circle them. My mouth went dry as my heart began to race in my chest. All sound faded, replaced by the symphony of rushing blood and beating hearts. I'd pick the one furthest from the group, the blacksmith. He smelt of salt and metal, a large man with a round belly that was practically begging to be sliced open. The edges of my vision darkened as I stared into the forge. He looked strong, but he'd be slow - much slower than he'd need to be to kill me before I did him. It would be easy.
My body drifted forward, leaning over the ledge of the rooftop. Every inch of me hummed as my fingers wrapped around the hilt of my dagger. So easy… Giggling children broke me from the dark fog. They ran through the streets together, playing whatever games normal little children play, as their families watched with a bright look. I'd studied that look often, how they smiled and their faces creased with joy. It was a look I had never known.
I remembered then the simple house with the green door. I remembered how it looked splattered with their blood - blood that oozed between the floorboards and dripped down the steps. The humming of bloodlust ebbed inside me as I pictured the bodies that littered the cobbled path to the house. Their eyes were dull and lifeless, not a spark of that bright thing… Not a spark of anything. The last one still breathing had crawled back inside, not strong enough to run but still not weak enough to just lay and die.
When I'd followed after her, dagger in hand and blood dripping from me like rain, she'd looked at me with a dark expression. Disappointment mingled with fear and disgust. That was the look I knew, the one she'd always looked at me with. As I got closer, the woman who called herself my mother spat her blood at me and growled out one last word before I watched her bleed out, "Monster." 
That house - my house - had been the first. The first time, I'd let the hunger, the insatiable thoughts of bloodshed, win. The family I massacred that day had been my own, but I never regretted killing them, not for one moment that followed. They'd only been the first of many… Too many.
My rancid blood whispered to me: kill, kill, and kill again. This body of mine craved only death. Not my own, but that of others - everyone. In the beginning, I'd hoped it would fade, yet with each death, each lifeless body I left behind, the hunger only grew. The longing to kill again was never far from my mind, and it terrified me. 
What kind of person… What sort of thing had this urge? A dark, twisted urge so powerful it consumed me, possessed me until I satisfied it with the blood and death it craved. My lungs filled with the cool city air, and the blurred edges of my vision slowly faded, replaced by the pain at the base of my skull growing as the urge festered, unsatisfied.
A heavy sigh echoed beside me as the rooftop shingles shifted under the unpredictable steps. "Restless already, young Master?" 
"I just…" My mouth tasted rancid, the intrusive desire to snap my teeth down on my own tongue making the words difficult to get out.
"Which of the lovely little sheep calls to you this time?" He hummed, turning his head to look out into the crowd with an almost gleeful smile. "The baker?" He giggled, jumping in excitement. "No! The shopkeep! He looks like he'd make a particularly fascinating corpse!" Turning, his beady eyes bore into mine again as he examined my expression. "Not him either? One of the children, perhaps?"
"No!" I bit out, trying not to linger on how that prospect appealed to me. "The blacksmith."
The Butler turned his head eagerly and wiggled his fingers, clacking his claws against the shingles. "Oh, excellent! He'll be no match for you, my dear Master. So big and slow, with a copious amount of blood and viscera to work with. A most excellent choice indeed!"
My hands clenched and unclenched at my sides as I forced my lungs to fill with the fresh air. "I'm not killing him. I'm not killing anyone."
"Not this again," The Butler chided. "Young Master, you must–"
"You do not tell me what I must or mustn't do!" My voice was low but a whisper in the wind, but Sceleritas heard it. He heard it as though I'd screamed it at the top of my lungs. For a fleeting second, it looked as though he'd been hurt by my words and my dismissal of him. With a sigh, I shook my head and knelt beside him. "Sceleritas…"
He made a tsking noise and combed his claws through my hair, delicately brushing it back into place. "I live to serve you, young Master. Whether it leads to glorious blood and viscera or not, I live to serve."
I held his hand for a moment. "Thank you."
"I do wish you'd be true to yourself," he said carefully. "But, if you wish to fight your urge, I'll bite my tongue and let you make your own mistakes."
"Sceleritas," I scolded with a half smile.
He quickly shut his lips tightly and bowed. "Since we're not killing anyone, may I inquire as to what we're doing among the sheep?"
Rolling my eyes at his theatrics, I looked back out to the crowd. "Rumor has it this city has been plagued with worshippers of Bhaal. People -" Sceleritas gave me a confused look. "The sheep," I clarified, earning a toothy grin from him. "Are saying there's an old temple somewhere nearby."
"And you intend to find it?" He asked, pride and mischief filling his tone.
"If anyone will have answers for me, it'll be them." I looked down at the odd little goblin-like creature that had been by my side since I first woke, covered in blood. He had leathery skin and a small hat lined with the bones of a snake I'd killed. He kept his clothes neat, even amongst the blood. Sceleritas was still quite the mystery, and everything about him, right down to how his beady eyes watched me with that sparkle of darkness and his claws clicked together as he idly thrummed his fingers together, making it seem like he knew more than he let on. "Unless you, dear butler, know anything about this temple?"
His hands splayed across his chest as his mouth fell open in surprise. "Why, me? Young Master, I've been ever at your side! I know only what you do."
Narrowing my eyes, I watched his lips turn upward in a grin. "Hmm, we'll see."
"Enough chatter!" He plopped down on the rooftop, kicking his feet over the ledge. "You hurry on with your questioning. I'll be waiting right here when you're done."
"I'll be back before nightfall," I assured him, lifting my hood.
"Of course you will. Unless… perhaps, you find a worthwhile distraction," he said, eyes turning away from mine to stare down at the blacksmith, whose full belly jiggled as he laughed.
That longing hum… That dark urge made my head swim for a moment. Kill him, it demanded. Break his bones! Bathe in his blood! Take his life, for it is yours to take! I shook my head and quickly turned away. "I will be back before nightfall."
"As you say, dear Master."
I dropped into a dark alley, my ill-fitted boots doing little to save my knees from feeling the force of the ground solidly meeting my feet. The alley stank with piss and rotting food, a stench that hung over the poorer districts. It was stripped bare of the fragrant roses and perfumers of the upper city. Stripped of everything, with people still demanding more be taken in the name of their lords and ladies and their fine parties and expensive silks.
Baldur's Gate. A beacon of hope and second chances. So many poured through the city gates with those big eyes, spilling with joy and relief, and it would be those eyes I'd see months later devoid of all that sparkle. Joy is a difficult thing to nurture when you're starving and flea-ridden. Baldur's Gate. The city where any and all are welcome to live and create a new life for themselves. A lie.
As I stepped over the multitude of beggars that no longer whispered pleas my way or anyone else's, I held onto that bitter feeling that had festered since I'd stepped foot here. My hands bore the blood of thousands, innocent and guilty alike, but even I was above the cruelty of this city. I was a killer, to be sure, but this city… The cursed Baldur's Gate was just as much a killer as me. At least I didn't pretend to be something else.
I moved among the crowd, ignoring that tingle that sent shivers up my spine at the sight of so many opportunities to slit someone's throat or tear their stomach open. Keeping my head down and my hood high, I kept my feet steadily moving. "You hear about this, uh… Shipment… That arrived late last night?"
"Which one?" The butcher replied, trying not to seem so interested. I slowed, lifting an eye towards them as they stood beneath the canopy of the butcher's stall.
"The metals," the twitchy man continued. "The ones that went straight to that abandoned church."
In one quick slash, the butcher's blade buried into the wooden board before him, slicing clean through the thick red meat. "What 'bout it?"
The twitchy man scratched his neck. "Rumor has it one of the smugglers is a madman. Er'yone that's seen 'im says he's makin' some kinda beast."
"A beast 'O metal?" The butcher laughed, waving off the man with a slab of meat in his hand. "Yer nutty if you believe that! Now get out me stall! Scarin' away payin' folk with yer twitchin'."
I watched them bicker for a moment longer before the twitching little man scurried away. Gossip and rumors were prevalent on the streets, necessary for anyone with no money to their name. Information was just as valuable as gold, but using such currency often required more than one's word. Proof came in various shapes and sizes. Eyewitness, a crumb of physical evidence, or even mentioning names… People higher up on the social ladder than anyone dwelling here. This system served me well. Though plagued by the constant urge to maim and dismember, my mind held information like a vault.
As I walked the streets, it quickly became apparent the well of gossip revolved around some useless arms dealings. I half listened, filing their names and the vague details away in my head while changing my path. If I wanted more than the current babblings today, I'd need to go to the source.
Baldur's Gate held many rivers that information flowed through. The servants working in the Upper City would flow down from those rich establishments and find whatever little pocket of people they belonged to. Taverns, inns, brothels, all little wells collecting information like buckets. Wells that I found most useful in my hunt for the truth. Past the layers of boring city gossip of who fucked who or who wore what lay the drops I required - the drops that would finally satiate my thirst. It was a simple matter of extracting such.
The Elfsong Tavern was bustling with people and flowing with drinks. It was a gem of the Lower City, though its outward appearance did not reflect anything grand or unique. It had ale and wine and clean rooms, which was enough for most people. The chatter that met my ears was akin to that of insects. I brushed past everyone else and quietly stood beside the bar, waiting for a cleaning to speak with the elf behind it.
The barkeeper and owner of the tavern was a soft-faced half-elf, Alan Alyth. He had dark hair and light in his eyes, still hopeful of his future within this city. Unlike the other patrons, he heard everything and saw all, and he wouldn't waste my time with idle chatter. Alan knew nothing about me, but he knew how much I hated talking.
Our eyes locked as the bodies cleared away from him, and he sighed. "What can I get for you?"
"I heard a rumor about Bhaal worshippers and a ruined temple."
Nodding, the elf wiped up a spill. "Few nights ago, two men came in spouting about it."
I set a single coin down on the bar. "I need the details."
Alan examined me for a second but took the coin and continued to speak, "Dunno much, but they said they believed the entrance to this temple or whatever was somewhere near the docks."
Without a word of thanks, I turned and exited the establishment, my feet moving quickly and my heart pounding steadily in my chest. I longed for this to be the one - for this rumor to lead me somewhere. The docks were even busier than the tavern, with shipments coming in and out, people selling fish right out of the barrels, and captains and crews inspecting their vessels. 
I could catch a ride on one of the ships, I thought. It would be easier to sail away from this horrible city and find a secluded place to live the rest of my days alone. Still, the nagging feeling wouldn't go away no matter how far I sailed. I would still always wonder what I was… If I belonged anywhere.
I remained near the docks, listening, watching, and even searching for hidden doors or loose stones that could have contained a clue, a hint even. There was nothing. No talk of Bhaalists or odd symbols. Nothing but the stench of fish and the annoying voices of the sheep. As the sun set, it became increasingly clear that this had been another dead end.
Waste of time, I scowled as I walked the now clear paths of the dark city. It'd been foolish of me to believe that anyone would have anything of substance. Why would idle gossip lead me to some long-lost hidden temple? It was foolish. Hopeful. 
My body roared with disappointment and anger. The feeling of it made my skin itch and my limbs ache. Curse that damned hope, I thought as I neared the rooftop where the butler would be waiting. I felt more breathless with each step, a sickening feeling washing over me as the edges of my vision swam with shadows. 
Don't fight it, that dark part of me urged. The bellows of nearby fire sparked in my ears, accompanied by the clash of steel. I sucked in a deep breath, halting my steps to try and regain control of my thoughts - of my own hands as they shook. Give in. A tang of ash and a tingling of metal filled my mouth. Give in to yourself. I stumbled, my feet shuffling of their own accord away from the rooftop towards the hazed orange light. 
Kill.
My fingers curled around the hilt of my dagger.
Kill.
My body hummed as the heat of the fire washed over my face.
Kill.
My lips curled up in a happy, satisfied smile.
The stone ceiling of the blacksmith's workshop was coated in billows of dark smoke and embers. They danced along the top of it for a moment, sparkling and crackling before being swept up in the midnight breeze and lifted out the tall open windows. My chest heaved with each breath, the air tasting sweet as I drew it deep into my lungs. I felt lightheaded, exhilarated, and satisfied. My mind felt clear for the first time in weeks, and my skull didn't throb. 
The sensation of thick, sticky liquid rolling down my neck pulled me from the enjoyment and relief. I lifted my hands to touch it but found them to be wet. All at once, my mind became my own again, and the sweetness of the air suddenly became heavy with blood. My fingernails dug into the skin of my neck as quiet whimpers filled my throat.
"Oh, how inspired!" Sceleritas purred with gleeful claps. "Artistry as always, my dear Master!"
My neck strained as I lowered my eyes to the corpse I straddled. The blacksmith lay lifeless beneath me, utterly unrecognizable. His eyes, filled with playful mirth and pride this morning, were now raw pits of exposed blood and muscle. The dark hair that once filled his head was scorched off, still smoking and singed with embers. One of his arms had been torn off, hanging from his anvil where the hand had been bludgeoned until the bones turned to dust. Long, intricate cuts lined his remaining arm and torso, leading to the gaping hole in his stomach. His insides were strewn about the room, hanging like dripping vines. And there, plunged into one of the many stab wounds in his chest, my dagger gleamed in the firelight.
I wanted to throw up, to scream and deny, but all I could do was sit there and stare. A prideful feeling simmered in my gut, finding beauty in the gore surrounding me. It was wrong… Beyond wrong… It was demented, deranged, sickening. Yet the feeling remained just like it always did. Sceleritas dug my dagger out from the blacksmith's chest and smiled as he held it out to me with a bow. Then, he noticed my grip on my neck and quickly tutted.
He placed my dagger back in my sheath and gently pried my hands from my skin. He dabbed the angry welts left by my fingernails with a small cloth. "I'm a monster…" I whispered.
Sceleritas' claws poked my cheek as he forced me to look at him. "You are perfect, Master." He combed his fingers through my hair, tucking it from my face. "Absolutely, positively perfect."
I closed my eyes, fighting back tears as the surrounding houses awoke, likely coming to see what the noises had been. They'd come, they always did, and they'd find me covered in the blood of an innocent man, a friend even. From there, things would be exactly as they always were. I'd be forced to flee, vanish, and always be apart like the rest of the monsters.
"Come, we must go," Sceleritas whispered, moving to check the streets.
With quivering breaths, I blinked away tears. What was the point of fighting if the urge would win out eventually? What was the point of any of this fucking life? Pushing myself to my feet, I wiped my hands on my shirt, as if it'd help clean them of blood, before turning to follow Sceleritas when a blink of movement caught my eye. 
There, standing in the doorway to the home attached to the workshop. His eyes were fixed on the body, the guts that hung from the room, filled with fear and despair at the sight of the larger man's lifelessness. Guilt and disgust warred within me against the satisfied bloodlust and pride. The child's lips quivered as tears began to stream down his cheeks. "Pa…"
Sceleritas' hands gently wound around my arms, tugging me away from the pitiful scene I had orchestrated. "Away, young Master. Come away."
The streets blurred together as I followed Sceleritas' sure-footed steps. I could hear the angry shouts and the calls for justice as the sheep turned to wolves. Tears burned my eyes as I considered stopping and submitting to my fate. I deserved it. I deserved to be torn apart just like I'd torn the blacksmith apart or any of the others before him. I was a monster.
Sceleritas turned then and slid to a halt just beneath an old archway. He scrambled, clawing the debris and dirt away from the small sewer cover. "This way!" He hissed. "We will find safety with the others!"
"With the others?"
"The worshippers of the Lord of Murder, of course!"
 "You knew where it was from the start," I bit out, glaring at the creature. 
"We haven't the time for this conversation, Master. Quickly! Come!" He screeched, desperately waving me towards the sewer entrance.
The ground shook with the rushing footsteps of the mob, a thundering anger filling the air like lightning. Grinding my teeth together, I slid through the small, dark opening and landed in the muck. The butler followed close behind, closing the opening just as quickly as he'd uncovered it. I could see the shadows of the mob pass overhead.
Sloshing through the putrid liquid, Sceleritas kept moving forward. I glared at him, using my anger to ignore how the smell burnt my nose and threatened to choke the air from my lungs. "Where are we going?"
He turned, teeth glistening in the low light. "You wished to find the temple, did you not?"
I followed him a few feet forward, watching as he flicked his clawed fingers, and an array of resting magic forced the stones ahead to part, revealing the ruins behind it. Sceleritas bowed, gesturing towards the opening. "After you, young Master."
The dark path forward appeared to be part of the city once, blocked off and locked away… Left to crumble and decay. The air hung heavy with a feeling of hopelessness, death whispers filling every crack and corridor. I followed what paths I could, weaving past fallen stone and broken statues. What had it looked like in its prime? I wondered as we passed through one intact doorway.
Stones shifted beneath quick feet, alerting me to the presence of others surrounding me. The darkness had eyes that watched me as I continued to the second door. If whatever creatures took issue with my presence, they didn't make it known. I could feel Sceleritas' excitement. "Friends of yours?"
"Friends of yours, Master," he replied. "Soon to be subjects if all goes to plan."
I turned my head to glance at him, so many questions wanting to rise from my throat, but none of them could. How many years have you led me astray? I wondered. How long was spent pulling at my strings for this plan?
A shallow river of sewage split the large room in two, forcing me down the right-hand path that looked to have been patched up with wood scraps. Whoever it was that had taken up residence here had clearly put work into trying to remain inconspicuous. The twists and turns should have confused me, but my feet felt steady… Like I already knew the way.
As I stepped out into a larger clearing, the stench of sewage faded slightly. Water trickled from cracks above, and the ruins grew more solid. "This was the Undercity," I observed, peering up the old stairs that had long been barricaded off. 
Sceleritas stood beside a circular platform, flicking his fingers again and lighting two hanging braziers. "A wretched place." He hummed carefully. "But, like most ruins, it wasn't always such." Waving his hand, I could see a marvel in his eyes. "It was a glorious temple once. A place of the highest caliber! Worshipers would come from near and far to pay homage, and many found a home here."
"What happened?" I asked, a wave of solemn sorrow softening my voice.
Sceleritas shook his head with a bitter sneer on his lips. "Many things. The worshipers of Bhaal have been culled many times throughout the ages."
"Like the Bhaalspawn." I shook my head and looked at the butler with teary eyes. "Is that what I am?"
"You are-"
"Perfect," I interrupted him. "I know, you've said that before. But answer me this, please, Sceleritas?"
With a humble nod, he finally replied. "You are one of the last living Bhaalspawn. The Lord of Murder's flesh and blood."
My teeth ground together. All this time I'd spent searching, looking for answers, and the one person that had been with me from the start had them all along. "Why not tell me this from the start?"
"You were not ready then," he replied with a sigh. "You may still not be ready."
"Well, what happens now?" I asked.
Sceleritas only grinned. "You open the door."
The tall door blended in with the surrounding stone, only really noticeable but the too-perfect cracks where the two sides met, tightly sealed. As I approached, I had an itching feeling that this would not be as simple as my loyal companion made it seem. Pressing on them with my hand, nothing moved, but a voice echoed around us in a soft but powerful whisper.
"Do you have proof of your faith to our lord?"
"Proof?" I questioned with furrowed brows. "How does one present proof of faith?"
Sceleritas cleared his throat and pointed to my still-bloody dagger. "You've all the proof you need, dear Master."
I unsheathed it, grimacing at the sight of the blacksmith's blood. The image of the weeping child filled my mind. I didn't utter a word nor lift the dagger higher than my eyes, but the door saw it as if it had looked through my eyes. "A small thing, but a show of faith nonetheless. Walk in blood."
The door cracked, and the path forward appeared before me, along with a choice. I could turn back and face what I'd done. Or I could continue on this path, wherever it led me, and finally learn the truth. Sceleritas took hold of my hand and squeezed. "The choice is yours, Remora, my dear Master. I can only urge you not to run from what you are." He smiled. "I can only assure you that you are perfect, just as you are."
Bloodshed, death, murder… None of it appealed to me beyond that itch of my darker urges, but I'd killed so many. My hands were forever stained in blood, and nothing, not even facing judgment, would clean them. I'd kill again. I knew it to be true. What choice is there? I asked myself. Nothing will change unless you see this through. "It'd be a waste to turn back now." I smiled down at him and squeezed his hand back. "Besides, what would I do without my most loyal butler?"
We walked hand in hand down the decrepit staircase where the abandoned stone building came into view, nestled overtop a straight drop into nothingness. Sceleritas led me over the bridge of fallen pillars and through a low archway. I held his hand tightly in mine, using his presence as some reassurance to ease the fear and hopelessness rising in my chest. No matter what I found here, Sceleritas would be beside me. He always was.
Bright red lights illuminated as we traversed the winding, bloodstained path. Statues spoke to me, but I couldn't grasp their words beyond the sound of my heart hammering against my ribcage. The bridge stretched across, lit with fire and dark magic. Up a small set of stairs, another door stood closed. Sceleritas released my hand and skipped up the steps, turning to bow before me. "Oh, my Master! Welcome! Welcome to your royal home!"
The doors opened behind him as if on their own accord. Now or never. I ascended the stairs and walked through the doorway with my head held high. From the high ledge, I could see every corner of the room, the lights and the bodies of people gathered, but what I noticed most was the large pool of blood that stood on the opposite side of the room where a skull with bleeding eyes had been carved into the stone. 
Bhaal. My father, if Sceleritas had spoken the truth. With another deep breath, I moved past the robed figures and down towards the center of this congregation. As I passed, the cultists whispered praises, words of great joy at my arrival. Sparing Sceleritas a glance, I quickly asked, "They were expecting us?"
"You, Master," he happily replied. "They've been expecting you for quite some time."
"Praised be the Lord of Murder!" One of them softly exclaimed. 
An odd feeling of warmth suddenly erased the fear from my body. Never before had I been waited on… Met with soft words of joyous welcomes. They wanted me here. They felt some kind of love for me, and I enjoyed it. "They… like me?”
Sceleritas scoffed. "They adore you, Master!"
At the bottom of the steps, all the cultists bowed their heads. "Welcome home, Bhaalspawn. We have waited a very long time for this day."
"What day?"
The woman, who seemed to be the eldest, chuckled. "For you to ascend and take your place as Bhaals Chosen, of course!" She turned, gesturing to the pool of blood. "Go on, submerge yourself, and all shall be revealed."
By my side, Sceleritas urged me to go forward into the blood. My dark, featherless reflection hovered over the thick liquid. There was a moment of hesitation, a moment where I knew deep inside me that this wasn't what I wanted. Sceleritas' voice was soft as he seemed to answer my deepest fears. "Do not deny what you are, Remora. For it is beautiful, beloved, holy. You are perfect, just as you are."
I took the first step, giving into the deepest desire to be loved and accepted. Maybe this was the only way for something like me to achieve such. Maybe this was always what I was meant for. As the blood enveloped me, I felt warm… Safe… Powerful. Flashes of bodies torn apart and skulls growing from trees filled my vision. "Child of blood, go forth with divine purpose."
When I emerged again, the first thing I heard was Sceleritas clapping. Then, all that stood before me bowed. "All hail Bhaal's Chosen!"
This was my future - my life. All the years I'd spent trying to be anything other were wasted. Thief. Urchin. Whore. Murderer. Assassin. Monster. Demon. All those years of fighting, scraping, bowing, resisting… It had all been futile. This was what I was, who I was. Bhaalspawn.
Bhaal's Chosen.
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the-silly-urge · 6 months
Text
The Dark Urge -
"As you venture on, you find yourself inescapably drawn towards unimaginable cruelties. Where do these thoughts come from?"
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Hello! My name is Addison, and this is my Baldur's Gate 3 sideblog (my main is @psystirene!) I use He/Him pronouns (and Neos), I am a lesbian and over 18‼
I started playing BG3 in September and have been obsessed with it since; that has included thinking way too much about it and doodling my characters a bunch, which I intend to post here!
My favorite characters (= I think about them a lot) are Minthara, Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae'zel- Though I do love all the companions- as well as pretty much any Dark Urge. Gortash and Orin fan by proxy, and I also love Alfira (<3)
Note I queue most posts, and if I don't leave any comments in tags it's usually because I'm too excited about the post to articulate it 😭 I will sometimes ramble in reblogs/tags, sorry if it's annoying- But you're free to do the same to any of my posts! I appreciate it I'll read it <3
If you have a toyhou.se, you can visit my OCs' pages through there- Most are visible only to users who are logged in.
Blog navigation + OC info below!
I will inadvertently post spoilers from time to time: Act 1 spoilers will not be tagged, past that it'll be #act 2 spoilers, and #act 3 spoilers. As I'm writing this I haven't finished Act 3.
My characters currently include: Edelzyne - Face of this account atm- fucked up drow Dark Urge Sylphin - Half-elf cleric Tav, child of divorce, loser, etc Siraye - Mother of the child of divorce. Can be a Tav in funny AUs Cordyle - AU of a Skyrim OC, Hells-obsessed High Elf wizlock, in a party with Afar. Eyes from Afar - AU of a Skyrim OC, Sharran Rogue Tabaxi, in a party with Cordyle. (Note her tag will be #oc: afar) Nandryn - Multiplayer Tav, Seldarine Drow Ranger Lochor - Multiplayer Tav, played alongside a good Durge, asshole Dragonborn Druid Fish - Redeemed Dark Urge, pathetic little Tiefling cleric Qa'leith - Most recent playthrough, Githyanki Monk Tav You can look them up with the the tag oc: (name), like oc: edelzyne, and all content of/about them will show up. When/if I make intro posts for them I will link those here as well <3
Other tags! #my art - Any art I've made #my writing - I don't write a whole lot, but it'll be there if I do #screenshots - My screenshots. #gif - Will include gifsets, but also any gifs. I don't make gifsets, myself #rambles - Just random stuff I say, will have other tags if I deem it worthy #memes - Any memes I reblog or make. #resources - Stuff I reblog/make that's meant to be helpful to me or other people. Might include builds and such I want to replicate later. Characters will be tagged with just their names, etc etc. That should be all, otherwise I'll try and update this post!
My warnings will always use #tw (text) (i.e #tw blood), I will not use CWs because I feel like it overcomplicates things. Ask me to tag things if I don't already and I'll try and remember to. But you can expect most common triggers to be tagged already.
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