#tw for...self esteem and implied s/h

[garoumylove]

Ok. I want to talk about Garou and the idea of monsters some more. I got myself started now haha! Been thinking about it for years but only now feel like writing it out. (TW: discussion of parental abuse)

I want to go back to Garou's 'shitty memories'. In his flashback, he calls himself a 'gloomy' kid and describes himself as a loner. Now, when he refers to him as such, it is implied that he has already been like this for a while, even before he became Tacchan(little shit)'s target.

At the time when this first came out, it made me wonder why he is like this? Is this just his personality? Maybe he's just naturally shy and an introvert? Or did something happen to make him reticent to interact with others. It was up in the air because we knew almost nothing about his family except that at least his father exists or existed at some point.

After the comments about Garou's parents and mother in the last MA chapter, it now gives a much more complete picture of Garou's past and the way his psyche developed.

So, let me paint a picture. We have a small boy (8-10 or there abouts) who is being abused at home in some way: physically, emotionally, verbally etc. We can let our imagination run wild here. But with knowing his mother is not kind, we can imagine there would be verbal and emotional abuse as well.

When Garou describes himself as a gloomy loner kid it's now a lot more heart-wrenching looking back because the cause for his gloominess and standoffishness is most likely from trauma. This is a bit difficult for me to unpack personally because I went through much the same all through my childhood and adolescence but also why Garou fascinates me and why I relate to him so much.

So, we have a small child who is being attacked at home, possibly being told he's a shitty brat, useless, stupid, unlovable and whatever else abusive parents can throw at you. His self-esteem has already tanked way before Tacchan(little shit) came on the scene.

He is gloomy and alone because he probably is too scared to approach anyone because he thinks a) they may attack him like his parents do, b) he's stupid/not good enough/embarassing and no one would want to engage with him anyway. Instead, he spends his time alone buried in books which he uses as an escape.

But here's the thing, even though when you're in that situation, you feel like absolute garbage and not worthy of love or even being alive, there's a part of you that knows that this is wrong. That the way you are treated is wrong and becomes angry. But because you feel too scared to express that anger, it just sort of simmers there and goes nowhere, growing and growing.

Another important thing to remember about humans is that being labeled as a 'bad person' is an immense fear for the vast majority of people. I think of it as an evolutionary fear. Because if your community labels you as a bad person, you will be cast out, and evolutionarily speaking, that means death. So I think almost every person has this fear subconsciously kicking around. Yes. Even abusers. Abusers do not want to be known as evil, bad people and that's why they go to such lengths to present a 'good' image to the world.

Garou is already feeling like shit but probably can't untangle the mess of negative feelings caused by his parents' abuse due to being too young. Now, you have Tacchan(little shit) come in and label Garou as a 'monster'.

Now, not only Garou is feeling stupid, unlovable, like a burden or however his parents make him feel, he is now told he is downright evil. Because remember, monsters are de facto evil. If they are not evil, they are no longer monsters but just strange, fantastical creatures. Monsters in appearance only. A monster, is by definition something dangerous and destructive.

And, it is correct to defeat evil. No one wants monstrous people such as murderers, rapists, war criminals roaming around free. It is right to kill and destroy monsters.

So now, imagine how confusing this must all be for small Garou. He is being labeled a monster. As something evil and befitting execution. However, as far as he knows, he hasn't done anything that is evil. So now he has to figure out an answer as to why he's being relegated to the status of monster. And all he can think of is that same thing: because I am a gloomy, loser kid.

And so his anger and sense of injustice grows. His anger at being perceived as 'evil' when he hasn't actually done anything of the sort. Of people then using this 'monster' label to justify their cruel treatment of him.

He has been labeled as a monster (a bad/evil person) just because.

And this really makes me angry all over again because this happened to me exactly. I was called all sorts of things and labeled as a terrible person by people in my family because I didn't greet them in the morning, because I used the 'wrong' tone of voice, because I didn't show enough gratitude or whatever asinine reason they could come up with. Now, it sounds fucking ridiculous, which it is. But at the time, as a kid, as a growing adolescent it was bewildering and left me with extremely low self-esteem and belief that I deserved to be treated like garbage since I was so 'evil'. And so I became angry. I was angry all the time which just caused my family to confirm my badness.

And this is exactly what happens to Garou. His anger grows, and this righteous anger is then weaponised and used as evidence that he is indeed a bad person.

Garou grows up thinking he is a monster not because he actually did anything wrong, but through this continuous process of others undermining his self-esteem, gaslighting him and making him completely lose confidence in himself.

But what I admire about him is that through all that bullshit he still had a vision of what the world should be like. How people like his kid self, like Tareo, must not be labeled as evil or monsters or treated cruelly just because they're a bit different. How disgusting that is. How horrifying that anyone with an ounce of popularity can label you as 'bad' on a whim and watch that word be used to justify cruelty after cruelty after cruelty.

But there was also a sense of defeat in his big plan. Instead of trying to rid himself of the monster/evil/bad label, he kind of said 'Fine. I am a monster then. You're all saying it, so that's what I must be' and decided to become a nightmarish self-fulfilling prophecy.

It started with abusive parents and continued on the playground, in the classroom where all he heard was that he was bad. Always bad and could be nothing but bad despite not actually having done anything bad. It was meant to break him, and in a way it did since he came to believe it and act like it.

But in the end, he was never able to lose his humanity. I think his heart is too kind and too empathetic. He wanted to save others by sacrificing his human self. And it makes me so unbelievably sad that if it wasn't for Saitama, the world would have lost such a kind and selfless young man because he really came to believe the bullshit that was ingrained in him at such a young age.

Now, at the end of the MA arc (both versions) I think what Garou's journey is going to be, is to shed all that dark baggage of thinking badly of himself and realise he was never a bad person to start with. That everyone had failed him. Now, it's time to build his confidence and embrace his kindness and empathy as the strengths that they always were.

And that's why I absolutely love him. He's a cheeky 'bad boy' with a heart of absolute gold :)

#garou #garou meta #opm #one punch man #one punch man meta #text post #opm meta #garou analysis #one punch man analysis

[softskiesahead-moved]

i am really...not starting this week off well am i

#these tags are going to be kind of ventish so there isn't really a need to read them!! #no vents or anything negative i post even has to be addressed at all #this post does not legally exist #tw for...self esteem and implied s/h #i kind of have a fear of 1-on-1 venting so...sorry this post exists.. #ask to tag #aya.txt #♡ storms ahead #tw s/h #negative #i have accepted the fact that i'll probably just break down every week until school is over but...on a monday? really? #please at least wait until wednesday #i'm just tired...i'm so tired of this #sometimes days will seem completely normal...and then halfway through the day it will switch #i just can't get destructive thoughts to go away and i don't want to do something stupid i really really don't #i'm just not good enough or even really interesting i don't get how anyone thinks so #i know i'll probably be ok and this will probably pass i probably won't even be hurt i'm just tired of it... #i can surround myself with as much comfort as i can find but at the end of the day...they would be as tired + bored of me as everyone else

[crow-drawing-their-cards]

Headcannons for the main 4(5?)

Mario, Luigi, Peach and Bowser + Jr/ Koopaling's as well. these are my personal headcannons and this is just for fun. what are your headcannons?

WARNING/TW/CW for: swearing, implied/bullying, scares, self-h*rm/depression

Mario (cis, He/Him, Straight)

- the reason his moustache is so different compared to Luigi's is because due to all the fights he gets in he doesn't brush it or his hair that often leaving it to get knotty

- his hair use to be curly but due to immense brushing and many fights over the years it turned straight

- social butterfly since he was born

- he loves adventure

- has many scars all over his body but he see's them as trophies/achievements then a bad thing

- he's not the best cook in the world but he can still make a few good things when he can (he has a MASSIVE sweet tooth and mainly makes deserts or sweeter things)

- he talks mainly English now but, due to Luigi speaking Italian at home, he does speak Italian at home but he's not limited to it

- he does welding! he can make beautiful sculptures and Peach has many in her royal gardens

Luigi (trans, He/Him/They, Gay)

- His hair is soft and fluffy with soft curls due to him not going on adventures much and he takes a lot of time for caring for himself

- he use to be a social butterfly but that got him the wrong attention and now has a pretty low self-esteem

- doesn't have the best way of coping with things and takes things to heart a lot (he has self-h*arm scares)

- he doesn't mind adventure its just that it drains him so much

- he and E.gadd stay in touch throughout the year for updates on King Boo and if there's anything that needs to be sorted (he goes to E.gadd if Polterpup is having issues)

- he loves to bake/cook! and he's really good at it. he cooks many types of meal but he likes to try and stay traditional

- he also does gardening and loves to talk about flower language

- he speaks only Italian unless there are guest/people he needs to talk to

- he also isn't the best when it comes to English and has some difficulty in writing and reading as well as some words he cant pronounce properly

- in fact he and bowser write letters to each other and he gets better over time (and flustered with how sweet Bowser is to him)

- loves dresses and will wear them when he can

Peach (cis, She/Her/They, Pan)

- although she normally has her hair out she loves to do many hair styles! space buns, braids and so many more!

- she's very open towards people but sometimes she just cant and has to take a break

- sick of Bowser's shit

- can speak English and Japanese and is now onto learning Italian (may or may not be to impress Mario ;)

- she's really good at baking. she and Luigi share recipes to try out

- she donates a lot of money to people in need (one of the main reasons most people like her, she's just really nice!)

- does rock climbing in her spar time (do NOT challenge her)

Bowser (cis, He/Him, Bi)

- #1 Dad

- his hair is a mess let me tell you

- brushing it out can take hours since he complains about it a lot

- may act tough but he's a softy

- when every he needs to take most of the kids somewhere he lets them climb on his back

- doesn't know how to cook anything more then a basic meal

- He's really good at English and is perfect at it. just don't let him write anything when he's tired it gets really weird (poor Luigi had to read some cryptic things)

- Kamek is his Dad and Kamek is also sick of his shit

- the spikes on his jewellery (?) are actually made of foam as to not hurt his kids when they go up to hug him

Jr (cis, He/Him, I don't think he knows his yet)

- C H A O S

- has too much energy and most people have trouble getting him to bed, takes about an hour or two

- Luigi can get him to sleep in about 20 minutes due to him swaying gently and humming

- he's really good at art! almost every form he can master

- he doesn't like most school subjects but he does like science, art and a surprise to most, maths!

- he and the koopaling's play pranks on anyone they can

- the koopalings are his siblings and their favourite song is 'Kidnap the Sandy Claws' from the Nightmare Before Christmas

And that's all for now! I hope you didn't mind the long post and how different it is compared to what I normally do here. if you have any questions or things you would like to add on please do so! (im really lonely please just say something)

#bowser #bowser jr #mario headcanons #luigi nintendo #luigi #mario nintendo #mario #peach toadstool #peach #koopalings #implied bowuigi #bowuigi #kamek #this was fun #please say hi

[mistaeq]

I hope u don't mind me requesting again, I just l o v e your writing ^^° but I was wondering if u could do headcanons for Speedwagon(pt1)/Joseph(pt2/Caesar/The pillar men (if u can ^^) with a reader who can morph their body into anything for a specific purpose like if they need to climb they can morph their body for that specific task (if u don't want to u don't have to :D)

Multiple Character Work: s/o who can Morph their Body

TW // none

Thank you for your request and for what you said about my writing! You're a sweetheart :( The Speedwagon HCs look a bit like they're connected, I got inspired :) Enjoy!

Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency Headcanons, neutral!s/o

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

ROBERT E. O. SPEEDWAGON

When you first met Robert, you chose not to say anything about your power.

Speedwagon is a strong man, and living in London's streets - before becoming the rich man he is - is not easy at all. He thinks you're the one who has to be protected.

You've always done a lot for Speedwagon with your power, but he doesn't know. You just care about making him happy.

Unfortunately, after Jonathan dies and Dio isn't defeated, a vampire happens to find you two and attack Robert. Maybe he recognized he was one of the ones who helped the young Joestar.

You never thought this could happen. You had already been enough scared of losing your man when he went away with Jonathan. If hiding your power meant Robert could die, then you couldn't just watch.

When the vampire is about to get him, he closes his eyes in fear, but doesn't move away: he has to protect you. When he opens them back, you two are on a building, climbing out of the vampire's reach. You morphed to pull yourselves up.

"H-Holy shit, y/n... how did you do that...?"

For the first minutes, he doesn't even really care about how did you do that, he's just happy that you're safe, and will kiss you and hold you tight to make sure you're really there.

When you finally explain him your power's abilities, he's shocked. He would immediately call and tell Erina, but it would imply telling her that a vampire is still in London.

You sometimes morph into one of his hat's blades, confusing your enemies when he throws his hat and instead of a little blade, a whole ass person attacks them.

You and Robert form a great team. After he becomes rich, he always tells you that without you and your amazing powers he wouldn't be the man he is.

JOSEPH JOESTAR

When he finds out you can morph into whatever you want, he's amazed.

"Do... do you think we can blend your power with my hamon? Like... you would be a great bridge for the waves..." he talks Lisa Lisa into letting you two train together on this.

You care a lot about your boyfriend, he's always ready to risk it all and you're afraid he'll die one day - we all know Joseph dying is impossible, the bitch will come back from the dead -

Due to this, you're always morphing your arms for them to be longer and being able to hug him multiple times around his body. You sometimes don't even let him move, you know he's gonna do something he's probably gonna regret.

You play with him a lot. You love putting him in awkward situations. The most common is the situation in which you're passionately kissing, but when someone walks in, you morph into a random object, making Joseph look as if he was kissing a radio, or a chair, or a pillow.

You once morphed into water and suprised him while he was taking a bath.

You sometimes tease him by morphing into Caesar's headband. Joseph gets jealous. Like a lot.

That's why he owns a lot of stolen headbands. He could never tell whether you had morphed in one of those or not, so everytime he saw Caesar with a headband, he stole it.

Anyway he's a sucker for your power, all things considered. He'll always brag about how strong his baby is. He covers you with compliments.

"Nice, nice... very nice, y/n-chan."

Joseph Joestar, son of George Joestar and Elizabeth Joestar, grandson of Jonathan Joestar and Erina Joestar-Pendleton asked you to morph into his underwear once and then felt no shame.

When he has to fight against the pillar men, he wants to leave you behind. He wants to be your hero, but you want to go with him.

You're powerful too, and you don't actually want to leave his side. You're too afraid he might come home in a coffin.

CAESAR ANTONIO ZEPPELI

Not gonna lie, he found out you had powers because one day, he tried to kiss you out of excitement when you weren't even dating yet, and you morphed into a flower.

"I must admit am a little taken aback by your behavior, tesoro, you refused a kiss from me, Caesar, but this is amazing. How did you do that?"

He's too flirty, but now he knows how does your power work, and will only flirt with you when you're in public and you won't be able to morph into an object without ordinary people noticing.

He loves playing darts. Even though he's unbrearable sometimes, he'll convince you to help him win against Joseph.

You morphed into Joseph's darts, and would make him lose on purpose by hitting low numbers.

The poor Joseph had never been more confused, but Caesar's laugh made you understand that maybe the young Zeppeli wasn't so bad as a person.

You'll have to use your power to save Caesar's ass from Lisa Lisa a lot.

He gets too distracted when you're around, and when she sees Caesar wasting time, you'll morph into the first object you can come up with, just so Lisa Lisa doesn't think he was flirting again.

Lisa Lisa knows.

But please, don't hide too many times when someone finds you flirting. Not getting in awkward situations is okay, but despite his confidence in himself, if you do it too many times Caesar's self-esteem will be affected.

He'll think you're ashamed of being his girl/boyfriend, so instead of morphing into an object, morph your fear of awkwardness into a smile and maybe into another kiss.

PILLAR MEN [Esidisi, Wamuu, Kars]

As soon as you show your power, Esidisi has a mental breakdown. It just looks too powerful and he grows slightly afraid of you.

He doesn't care that you are you, he knows you're powerful enough to fight against him, but he's also able to regenerate, which you can't.

After your training, if you lose, he'll smirk and tell you that you must win, if you want to get closer to him, considered that you're just a human and the fact that he isn't killing you is generous.

If you win, he'll have another mental breakdown, but afterwards, you'll be able to even sit on his lap.

When you show your power to Wamuu, he gets slightly startled. He recognizes you as really powerful.

He doesn't trust you enough to let you wander around them with those terrifying powers. For this, he'll put his "Wedding Ring" around your heart like he did with Joseph. If one day you'll ever betray him, that ring will break and kill you instantly.

When he uses his technique of the Divine Sandstorm and you morph into the sail of a boat to deal with his power, he can't help but laugh.

Wamuu teases a lot, but he cares about you.

As soon as you show him your power, Kars knows you're made for him.

Such powers are so strong that only the ultimate form of life's wife/husband can have. He's pretty old school - very old -, so if he says you're gonna marry him, you're gonna do it. You don't complain, though.

He doesn't want Esidisi or Wamuu to lay their eyes on you. Kars is possessive. When you're together and they walk in, he usually tells you to morph into an animal. Like a cat. Or a fox.

You're not just a human to him. A human so close to an ultimate form of life themselves is not a human. He wants you to give him children to raise as gods, if you're a woman. If you're not, he'll want to give you his powers, so you'll both live forever like deities.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #jojo headcanons #jojo part two #jojo part one #phantom blood #battle tendency #robert e o speedwagon #speedwagon x reader #joseph joestar #joseph x reader #caesar antonio zeppeli #caesar x reader #pillar men #esidisi #wamuu #kars #esidisi x reader #wamuu x reader #kars x reader

[mystiika]

re; carlos de vil

note: while i will be using icons of cameron boyce or reblogging gif sets of him, i recognise that not everyone is comfortable with deceased fcs, so i will be tagging any & all relevant posts with ‘cameron boyce //’ & ‘deceased fc  //‘

i also will not be choosing an alt fc because at this time i cannot picture anyone else playing carlos. for anyone uncomfortable with icons of cameron in our threads, i’ll just go iconless nbd

h i s t o r y ( tw bullying & heavy mentions of child abuse )

   while generational trauma & abuse were not uncommon on the isle, i would genuinely say that carlos was the brunt of some of the worst. i’m not going to get into the details here too much but there was severe psychological abuse & neglect present. he was forced to sleep in his mothers dressing room & take care of her furs that she openly loved more than him on top of all manners of house hold chores ( think cinderella but somehow more manipulative? ) & he was isolated from the other kids to some degree. he never had anyone to play with, & everyone ignored & bullied him ( sadly this included mal & jay until the end of the first novel ). being younger ( by almost 2 years ) & physically weaker for the most part, he was a repeat target. the only person that seemed truly nice to him was evie, & at one of her birthday parties he was gifted a kitten named beelzebub. bee was the major contributor to the love & affection he was given growing up & helped him push through the hard times that came his way over the years. his only other “friends” were jace & harry who were minions of sorts but where really only there because curella forced them to hang out together. they made little attempt to help carlos through bullying at school.

   unsurprisingly, carlos is jumpy & anxious from his upbringing, but has the skills of a true tech prodigy — a fact that came in handy a number of times during the four’s ( mal, evie, jay, & himself ) antics at auradon prep. he’s incredibly smart & enjoys science & creative inventions, keeping a personal lab of sorts in a tree-house.

   carlos was for sure one of the nicer vks & was rarely seen doing anything bad. having been treated as a slave by his mother for a long time, he was obedient & disliked the idea of going against authority. he tended to follow what his mother told him to & what his friends did. his mother claimed he was a follower rather than a leader, & carlos longed to prove her wrong.

   realistically, carlos saw the other three as his older siblings & evie was the first person he’d ever considered a friend ( & to some degree, carlos still thinks closest with her than the others but not by much. she just feels more “safe” & that offers a level of comfort he doesn’t always feel with others ). in the movies he cares deeply about them all & calls them his family, happy to do what he can to help in any way he can.

   personality wise, he's extremely loyal, willing to follow his friends ( family ) wherever they go. he's honest, admits when he falls down, very clever, witty, & asked for advice when he needs it. he keeps the team together, & tried his best to be helpful to the others. once he was able to come into himself more, he’s very fun-loving & has an excellent sense of style. but despite this, he struggled ( & still does ) with self-esteem issues due to the verbal abuse from his mother & the bullying from his youth. he struggles standing up for himself ( though he’s improving !! ) he’s hard on himself & kicks himself for his mistakes, something mal notices in the books.

in some places it’s also implied that he has the potential to use magic?? but i’m still struggling on the sources for that. the idea is that he can but prefers to leave it to mal & evie. he doesn’t seem to like using powers falls back onto tech instead.

i n f l u e n c e s

   descendants movies based ( mostly in personality ) but i will be filling in some of the worldbuilding blanks with info from the novels so his backstory is a mishmash of it all. totally willing to switch up some of the details based on plots or dynamics.

   i’ve seen cruella ( 2021 ) but i definitely won’t be including it in my portrayal. my vision of cruella is more like the baroness from the movie than cruella was. 

#cameron boyce // #deceased fc // #bullying // #child abuse // #queue. #carlos tag tba.