#turns into a troll that only speaks in riddles and rhymes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dragonsareourfuture · 3 years

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Matsuda/GN!Reader — Promise

Here’s a longer oneshot for a man who is often forgotten. Lovely Matsuda, you have a huge place in my heart.

This wasn’t an afternoon like any other.

No, shut up! It’s the same as any other day.

Something big was about to go down.

It’s not big, it’s normal! Normal sized, normal day!

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, slamming against your rib cage so hard you swore it made your body sway a tad bit forward.

Everything is going to go fine, no disasters.

You stood in front of your mirror, combing out your hair. The bathroom was dead silent save for your short, uneasy breaths. You tried your best to draw them out to how you normally breathed, but you began to try so hard to breathe normally that you forgot how you normally breathed altogether.

Is this pace too slow? Am I not getting enough air? Is that why the room’s spinning or am I just panicking for no reason?

You weren’t panicking. You swear you weren’t. Maybe you were just breathing so fast and your heart was racing so much because you were dying! Yeah, that could be it! You almost preferred that possibility to what you were in store for later that evening — something set to occur around 6:00 pm sharp. Dinner. Doesn’t sound so bad right?

Wrong. You almost laughed at yourself bitterly for thinking so absurdly — doesn’t sound so bad? Maybe when you don’t have all the details. So, let’s rephrase that, shall we?

Dinner. With your boyfriend’s parents.

Ah, speak of the devil. You turned around at the sound of a light knock at the bathroom doorframe. Touta Matsuda, the adorable little puppy dog of a human, stood with his fist still curled and his knuckles against the doorframe. He asked you if you were nearly ready to head out, his dark eyebrows upturned with light creases denting his forehead.

You jolted. With a lightening fast grab at your phone you tore it from its spot on the counter and looked at the time — how was it already 5:40!? Hadn’t you started brushing your hair around 4:00? You didn’t even want to begin to think about the fact that you’d been standing at the mirror for forty whole minutes telling yourself you weren’t panicking. And the worst part — that reverse psychology didn’t even leave a mark! Your chest still felt tight and nothing felt right. Oh no... you’re thinking in rhyme. You had to do something quick, before you started to speak in riddles like some kind of bridge troll.

“Hey, Teddy Bear?”

“What’s up? You don’t look too good...”

Even staring at yourself in the mirror for nearly an hour didn’t allow you to notice until Matsuda pointed it out. When you looked back at your reflection, you saw the truth in his statement. You looked very put together overall — clothes neat and without a single crease marring the fabric — but your face was paler than it had ever been before. Your eyes had sunken from lack of sleep, as you were tossing and turning for hours the previous night just thinking about your arrangement for that evening. You just looked scared.

“I’m gonna be completely honest with you,” you began, stepping closer to your boyfriend and weaving your arms around his waist. The soft fabric of his dress shirt calmed you enough to get the words out without choking on them. “I’m really, really nervous about tonight. They’re gonna hate me for this—“

“Hey, don’t say that! It’s no one’s fault that we‘ve both been too busy to formally meet my folks since we started dating. I mean, I am a cop after all, and this case hadn’t exactly been easy on me or anyone on my team.” Matsuda reasoned. It was always hard to argue with him when he had this whole “optimist” thing going on. He was just too cute and cheerful to claim anything he said was a lie.

You sighed, trying to fight back with more doubts, “But it’s been forever. They’re gonna think I’m avoiding them or something!”

“Nonsense! If anything they’ll be grateful for you taking care of me every night when I get home from work. I still don’t know how you do it. You’re too patient with me, babe! Not that I’m telling you to stop, of course! It’s— well, you know what I mean!”

Dammit, Matsu’s cuteness struck you down once more and, against your will, you were forced to give into his positivity. You let out a laugh, tightening your grip around his waist and resting your chin on his broad shoulder. “Yeah, I guess so.”

But he was forgetting one little thing. You had absolutely no idea what kind of people Matsuda’s parents were, so how they would react to something like this was beyond your comprehension. Though, you didn’t think terrible people could have produced someone so pure hearted and precious. Still, you had no idea how formal they were, if they cared whether you told them yet or not. If they were opposed to how you were going about this or if they would support you. And Matsuda, being the kind person he was, wanted to tell them the important news in person, so there was no avoiding this any longer.

“Listen, I...when we talked about marriage I didn’t agree to it despite my parents.” Matsuda hummed, taking hold of your lower back to pull you closer to him as a gesture of comfort. “They know you exist, at least! They know we’ve been dating for a while and they know you make me happy. So what would be the issue?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and dropping your forehead onto his shoulder. Goddammit, he’s right.

You just had to make Teddy Bea— Uh, Matsuda’s parents like you! Then they’d support your relationship, and in turn your decision to get married. End of story. Well, you’d have to see them again, like at the wedding, but you’d cross that bridge once you got to it!

Yeah, okay. Maybe, with the comfort of your fiancé beside you (was is okay to call him that? You haven’t even bought an engagement ring yet...), just maybe, you could do this.

Probably.

This shit’s gonna be easy, you told yourself. And, you know the funny thing? You actually started to believe it.

It was like all of the comforting words Matsuda blessed your ears with earlier actually had some effect and, now that you stood at his parent’s doorstep, the tight feeling in your chest had eased up. Your head stopped pounding with your own heartbeat drumming in your ears. You felt comfortable, even when Matsuda knocked on the door before taking ahold of your hand.

Soon enough, an older woman answered to the knocks. Her face, marred with smile lines, brightened at the sight of you two. She was on the shorter side, but by no means did she appear weak. Her hands held a strong grip on the door as she held it open, and such energy gave off a giddy and caring aura about her. She stepped aside and held a hand out, gesturing for you to come in with a cheerful call of “Hello there! Oh, come in, come in. Honey, they’re here!”

You allowed Matsuda to take the lead, guiding you inside behind him, connected by your hands still. With only a few steps, the slight bite of the chilly fall air outside had vanished in an instant only to be replaced by a warm and fuzzy atmosphere. It had the air of a home that was prepared for guests, which served to make your heart flutter at the idea that you were important enough to make people want to prepare their home for you.

A staircase occupied the farthest wall to the right, and beyond that led to a dining room. While candles dotted the table, plates were set up neatly in front of every chair for four people. The burning candles gave off the scent of a pine forest, filling your nostrils and effectively making you even more calm. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

Another set of footsteps was soon given a face — a tall, lanky man with the same messily styled and dark hair as your beloved boyfriend — presumably Matsuda’s father. This presumption was made into fact as the man glommed into Matsuda, patting his back and barely giving your boyfriend any air in his lungs to speak properly.

“Hey, mom! Hey, dad! I really missed you guys. Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing, too!”

You couldn’t say he was wrong. You couldn’t really place it with the pine scented candles mixing with the scent, but whatever it was, it was making your mouth water.

“O-oh, um, this is (Name). They’re that person I was talking to you guys about on the phone the other day,” The now suddenly bashful Matsuda introduced on your behalf.

“Hi there, it’s really nice to meet you both!” You greeted, shameful that you didn’t think to say something sooner.

“Oh, well aren’t you just the sweetest thing? Come this way, dear, don’t just stand around!”

“O-oh, alright—“

“So!” The boisterous man by Matsuda’s side called. He clapped his son on the shoulder, looking from him to you with a teasing quirk in his brow. “You’ve finally decided to come visit now, have you?”

“Oh, don’t give them a hard time!” Matsuda’s mother interjected, holding up a nearby dish towel with a threatening glower, no real malice behind it. Matsuda’s father held up his hands in mock surrender.

You smiled, forcing the corners of your lips upwards although you couldn’t force it to meet your eyes. you felt absolutely terrible. These people opened up their home to you, cooked for you, let you go out with their son, and yet you couldn’t tell them that you wanted to marry their son, and he wanted the same. Occasionally you shared a glance with Matsuda, who only stared back with eyes that said “not yet”. And you hated the fact that you felt overwhelming relief each time you received that look from him. The fact was — you didn’t want to tell them. If you did there would be no going back, no do-overs. But at the same time you wanted to get it off your chest more than anything in the world. You wanted their son’s hand in marriage. That’s not usually anything to sneeze at.

And yet, all you were doing was lying to their faces. Well, was it lying if all you were doing was keeping something from them? Was it just as wrong? Of fucking course it was. There’s no way out of this one, you’re a horrible person and that’s that. Shit.

Even as you all sat at your designated seats around the dinner table, not a peep left your mouth. As Matsuda’s mother began to dish out servings of her incredible-smelling cooking with the help of her husband, you only uttered words of thanks. You really couldn’t thank them enough, considering the bomb you were about to drop onto their lives.

You all ate peacefully with the light conversation making it’s way around the table. Matsuda and his parents were quite possibly the easiest people to talk to that you ever did meet. No joke had to be held back for fear of being judged, and a few of your little comments caused Matsuda’s father to choke on his food from laughter. You and Matsu’s mom took to ganging up on the men for their apparent shared habit of snoring like a monster at night, the both of them getting defensive with claims that they had no way to control that kind of thing. You and Matsu even shared a few stories from your albeit limited amount of time alone together, going to the park or visiting a museum. It was only when a lull in conversation caused a bout of silence to overtake the room did you look to Matsuda for some assistance in keeping up conversation, only to find him looking at you with determined eyes.

Oh. So it was time, was it? Alright, you could do this.

You breathed in deeply through your nose, clasping your partner’s hand under the table.

“Mom, dad? We uh...Well, we have something to tell you,” Matsu admitted, his voice starting out as nothing more than a whisper and gradually increasing in volume. You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand.

“Oh? Good news or bad news?” His mother inquired, eyebrows creasing slightly with a tinge of worry which the playful tone in her voice failed to mask.

“I hope you think it’s good news! Uh, so, (Name) and I...well, it’s good to see that you guys seem to be getting along well! Can I just say that before I start? Yeah...so. Okay, um—“

“Son, you know you can tell us anything. Just say it, we won’t be angry with you.” Something in the older man’s tone told you he already somewhat caught on to the situation. He just wanted to hear it from his son first, which was understandable.

“We’re going to get married,” Matsuda blurted. The slight jitters you felt in his hand eased up immensely after he said it. His shoulders relaxed and his lips stretched with a smile. “We aren’t exactly sure when or where, we don’t even have the rings yet, but we’ve talked it through and...well, we’re doing it.”

Your gaze, which was fixed on your Teddy Bear throughout his entire explanation, absolutely adoring the loving glint in his eyes as he talked about your future together, shifted back to his parents. What you were met with did not exactly please you.

“...oh. Well, dear, I...”

“It’s not that we aren’t happy for you two, don’t get us wrong...”

It took you a while to completely comprehend what you were hearing.

“What...? You don’t want us to get married?” Matsuda chimed in before you could say anything, not that you were even sure that you could.

“We didn’t say that!” The older woman defended, inching up to sit on the edge of her seat. Ah, yes. Battle mode. “Far from it, actually. All we want is for you to be sure that you’re ready.”

Matsuda’s dad nodded, continuing with his wife’s sentiment, “You said yourself that you’ve been too busy to come see us, so how much of that time have you really had with each other?”

You couldn’t even argue against them. It was true, you and Matsuda haven’t really been able to spend a ton of time together lately. Perhaps marriage was what you both seemed to agree would act as a patch — something you thought would fix your issues as soon as you could call Matsuda your husband. But how much better off would you be after that?

“I...mom, dad...” Matsuda’s words faded, disintegrating into nothingness as his hope seemed to do along with it. He hung his head as his grip on your hand loosened but, before it could completely slip from you, you clasped it tightly.

“Thank you so much for your advice,” you said, marveling that you managed to keep your voice from wavering. “We’ll think it over.”

The burn of Matsuda’s eyes could practically be felt boring into you. You knew he was upset, you knew he was confused. But the very last thing you wanted to do was end the night on a bad note. You could try your best to save what was left of your first impression dinner and talk about this later. When you were alone.

“...yes, o-of course. Ah, would anyone like a second helping?”

About an hour of stiff conversation and shifting glances later, you and Matsuda decided that perhaps it was time to leave.

He hugged his parents goodbye with noticeably less enthusiasm than he had when he’d first greeted them, and you took to simply waving and thanking them for the meal.

Once you were outside, a shiver ran down your spine. The temperature had dropped considerably, now with the moon in place of the sun overhead and clouds of fog taking to the air every time you exhaled.

“I’m...I’m sorry,” you heard from beside you. Your head swiveled to meet the eyes of your boyfriend only to find that his were directed towards the ground. “That didn’t go as I thought it would.”

Your mouth opened to answer, only to close again. It was easier to grab his hand, which was swinging limply at his side, at thread your fingers through his. So, that’s what you did.

Matsuda flinched, eyes shooting toward the point at which your hands were connected, staring at it with wide eyes. Once he was over his shock, he gave you a grin — a smile that turned his eyes into crescents and warmed his cheeks with a soft blush. That smile was what always told you that everything would be okay.

You stopped walking so suddenly that Matsuda nearly tripped trying to stop in time.

“What’s wrong? (N-name!?)”

Matsuda covered his mouth as he stared down at you, now kneeling on one knee in front of him. You never let go of his hand, but kept it clasped in yours. Your lips met his knuckles, thumb brushing over the spot that you kissed afterwards.

This was not the end of the world. So you shouldn’t get married, so what? It’s not like that’s your main goal anyway. Marriage — your method of escape from actually facing your problems — would have to wait. Big deal. That just left more time to spend with your adorable Teddy Bear without the stress of a wedding hanging over your heads. Any breaks you two had in work could be used to get to know each other better, relearn those things about each other that might have slipped from your memories due to time apart.

“Touta, I love you. I love you too much to let this stupid disagreement do any damage to our relationship. I want us to become stronger because of this. We don’t need a legal binding to tell us that we belong together. So, this isn’t a proposal, but a promise — Whether we’re married or not, I will do my best to make you the happiest man alive and let you know each and every day how much I care for you. And, if we still want to, later on when we know we’re in a stable place, we can get married.”

A splash of water hit the ground in front of you. You blinked, expecting more to come in the form of a rain shower until you realized that water was the tears still rolling down Matsuda’s rosy cheeks. “Yeah, that—“ he sniffed, wiping his face with the sleeve of his jacket, “—that sounds good.”

“Just good?” You joked.

“A-amazing? I can’t really find the words right now...but I do want everything you just said. I’m just a little surprised that, what with how tonight was going with me consoling you, you’d end up doing the same for me by the end!” The ravenette scratched the back of his head, averting his eyes, “I d-don’t really feel like the one wearing the pants in this relationship right now!”

“Who said you were in the first place?” You muttered, rising to your feet and heading off toward your car.

“Wh-wh-what!? Hey, get back here!”

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