#tumblr refuses to put this under a readmore so cool i guess

[ac-liveblogs]

(1/6)This is a rant but i need help for mental wellness sorry :p Do you think mavis's character has been an utter disappointment especially during the alvarez arc. I didn't see her do anything to live upto the image of a superior individual with hell a lot of visdom, high moral sense and experience that she's been given being the founder of FT. On one hand she thinks guildmates are soldiers supposed to put their lives on line(i get that since it's a war but just in contrast to makarov)

(2/6) But when it comes to zeref, isnt she too kind. I know she's doing them all a favor by killing him but it doesn't look anything like a punishment. In Her last conversation with him while dying, its like she has nothing to tell him off( except for that chest punching, and calling him out for killing makarov. Damn that didn't look serious at all.)The two of them are celebrating that moment in which he finally gets what he wanted and see absolutely no need for redemption . Just sweet talk.

3/6 have nothing against their love and she doesn't have to stop loving him for being just. Its the complication in this relationship that attracted viewers but in the end it just wasn't all that complicated to be resolved coz she forgets and forgives after a few punches and a kiss ! And even if its a rare situation , we still have Jerza as a better example for how she could have said or done different things at the end. Ezra loves him too but she never once kept her feelings above what's right

4/6 and just. Erza does stop Jellal from killing himself because she loves him but she also makes him realize that to redeem himself he needs to live and earn his own forgiveness. That's what love should do -make you a better person. She isn't soft on him and tells the bitter truths he needs to hear. This is called development.

And Mavis being so wise should've done her part like that even better. But she's so in love and so kind that it makes her forgive and forget everything he's done. Not one sentence that throws light on his atrocities. Not one word of contempt. No complaints. She doesn't even try to make him realize he's been wrong and selfish and even his curse can't excuse that. They're both convinced that its all over

6/6 They're both convinced that its all over and he needs no introspection. I can't just pretend that zeref deserves this happy ending and i cant have respect for Mavis after that. While she was narrating to the guild her story, She was afraid people would shame her for being in love with zeref. I think if there's anything she should feel guilty about then its not that but what she said and implied in this god forsaken Alvarez Arc. What do you think ?

Hey I'm sorry i sent a 6 part question but its all messy. Its my first time here. So some parts are public and mistakenly some are anonymous. God I'm sorry:( . I really liked you blog. Please tell me if you see my question. Its on FT. Love and appreciation....!!!

It’s cool!! I left you anonymous bc I wasn’t sure what you’d prefer, let me know if you’d like me to attach your name to this ask :)

Tbh you’ve hit the nail on the head with a lot of the issues I have with Zervis, which is that despite the fact the relationship is unhealthy, that’s just... not addressed. Zeref does literally anything and Mavis still drops everything to save him and ascend, which... okay, anticlimactic for one, holy shit does he get off easy for two, and really, REALLY unsatisfying for three? 

I’m down with unhealthy relationships in fiction as they can be endlessly fascinating, but everything about the way Zervis is handled just confuses Zeref’s character and tanks Mavis’ to the point I’m not sure what I’m supposed to take away from it. What I’m getting is just “unhealthy codependence stuck in an eternal loop” which, fine, that can be interesting, but their Twisted Romance comes at the literal cost of Zeref’s character and what little credibility Mavis still had. It also lacks a satisfying resolution and isn’t exactly what the series was setting up for Zeref. 

It’s no secret I’m not a fan of Alvarez Zeref - I feel he doesn’t jive with any of Zeref’s prior characterisation or anything that’s been built up about him over the course of the entire series, and it’s really not fun getting hyped for any of his established plot threads and having them swept under the rug by someone that... really had nothing to do with it? Kinda showed up at the last second?

We spent all that time building up Jellal’s goals, Zeref’s sins, Natsu’s past and Zeref’s connection to Acnologia and for... what, exactly? To not pay off on any of it?

Mavis as a smart, logical tactician was always a bad joke so i’m less annoyed about her, but Zeref... man. He isn’t defeated, he isn’t redeemed, he just kinda peaces out with no consequences or self reflection and Acnologia takes the stage. Cool, I guess? What, narratively or thematically, does this accomplish?

“Love forgives all sins especially the really bad ones?” “Mavis needs a therapist?” “Zeref is a karma houdini?”

UGH anyway I’m not into Fairy Tail anymore despite the name, but it turns out I still had some Thoughts about Zeref so how ‘bout that!

#replies #zeref is just an endlessly confused character i'm not sure how to feel about him #tumblr refuses to put this under a readmore so cool i guess #alvarez arc #zeref dragneel #mavis vermillion #Anonymous

[transenbyhollis]

idk if my relationship with the ex roommate was abusive or not but im just gonna put down a bunch of stuff here. this is probably gonna be long so putting it under a readmore

ok so im beginning to realize that this all probably sounds pretty bad for him but KEEP IN MIND that his anger is a response to abuse and breakdowns are sometimes used to manipulate people. also every story has two sides and i dont know what he would say about all this. also for the first couple years or so he was really nice most of the time. super supportive. feel free to skim through this if you wanna know whats gonna on but dont want to read the entire lengthy tale.

so it started nearly five years ago. i met him my first year of college, we were in the same hall. i thought he was really cool. we didnt talk much that first year but we were friends i guess.

second year a lot of shit happened during the first term. the important thing is that it cemented our friendship. after that term we were rock solid. we spent all of our time together.

during the next term he briefly dated a girl we were friends with. idk if it was even dating really. the whole thing was a trainwreck. at one point i felt like i was losing him and i had a breakdown. it was then that he said he never wanted to make anyone more important than me. things went bad between them and then i noticed something was wrong. i wont go into everything that happened, but suffice to say he kept getting angry for reasons i still dont understand, she was frustrated and very stressed, and i was terrified and miserable.

after this, we were still pretty close. it was around this time that he told me we were in a queerplatonic relationship. now i was genuinely considering spending the rest of my life with this guy.

sometime around the same time the first red flag went up. he told me that he had gone through my phone, found my tumblr among other things, and read several months worth of my personal thoughts. i was kind of in shock when i heard this, so i didnt say much about it. this was also when he told me he had been sexually abused.

not too long after this is when a relationship began to grow between him and another friend of ours. i started to feel a distance growing between us, and this is when he really started to show his angry side. sometimes he would get angry and i would break down crying. this became a regular occurance.

there were some instances of him insistently trying to get me to come out to people. this was mostly in reference to a trans group that was beginning to form at this time. i did eventually give in, although at least once i had a breakdown and left crying because he got upset about it. also i sometimes i didnt feel good about leaving because once he made a comment about how i always run away when im upset so i basically begged for permission to leave.

there was also something that happened a couple times where he and his partner decided that i wasnt allowed to be alone and i physically attacked them and screamed at them before they would let me be alone in the bathroom for a few minutes. the second time this happened i was so angry i smashed a bunch of my belongings and then afterwards i apologized frantically and said some bs about being upset for religion related reasons.

after this, we had a conversation where i said i needed to be alone sometimes, and if they literally said i was not allowed to be alone i wouldnt ask, i would kick and scream until they agreed to let me be alone. he got upset because i made an analogy about a cliff and kept getting mad about that. i insisted that if they refused to let me be alone i would make them hate me.

there was a argument i had with him that ended with him essentially saying our friendship was over. i did not realize he was being sarcastic here. i went to the bathroom to cry. i asked his partner to come and told them that i was feeling very suicidal. they calmed me down a little and went to go arrange for all three of us to have a talk. i took several melatonin and tried to take a nap in the meantime, although that didnt work. later we met at the library. we had an argument about them being controlling and some other things. i remember he started to throw a chair. i broke down and went to the bathroom where i cried a lot. i texted him and apologized for wrecking our friendship. he said that he was the broken one and i said i thought we both were.

it was around this time i started medication. i told the doctor i was having problems with mood swings and so they put me on abilify.

at the end of this school year i moved in with them. towards the beginning there were some arguments about them being controlling and needing to know where i was all the time. we made a compromise where i would have some kind of board or something that i would uodate to say if i was feeling good, not so good, or bad. that never ended up being implemented tho. at some point the roommate who didnt totally suck told me they didnt want me to tell them when i felt like self harming and if i did they would call the police.

the angry outbursts and my terrified breakdowns continued. it escalated to the point where sometimes he was straight up screaming his head off at me for no discernible reason. sometimes i would break down if he so much as snapped at someone.

there was an incodent where i started crying when he was angry, and he told me essentially he didnt see why i would break down so easily and he was jealous of me for having such a good childhood. i told him that i was still suicidal and he started yelling at the other roommate to call the police. i kept asking why he was doing this and what he was trying to accomplish and he didnt respond. the police came, we talked a little, i said i would take a walk and calm down, and they left. i went to my room and had a panic attack. my roommates wanted to call the police again and i begged them not to. at some point one of them said something about me having a sheltered childhood.

a few weeks later we were grocery shopping and he got mad at me for not helping put the groceries in the car. at this point i decided to stop being friends with them because i couldnt handle it. later when we were at home someone asked me if anything was wrong or something like that and i said i decided earlier that i couldnt be friends with them. they told me to calm down and we talked about it. they asked me if there was anything else i wanted to tell them and i said there was something they had said that had made me uncomfortable some time ago. the rest of this was all dragged out of me, slowly and painstakingly. i told them that i didnt like when they said a sheltered childhood. they confirmed that sheltered basically said i hadnt had any problems. they asked me what problems id had and i said i felt that my relationship with my sister and with religion was somewhat abusive. they then dissected all the problems id had in my life to see if any of them were really that bad.

there were also a couple of other incidents, like that time he screamed his head off at me, smashed a bowl, and then apologized to his partner while i cleaned up the bowl. and the time he screamed at me for rescheduling an appointment. a lot of other shit happened but im not gonna talk about all of it.

a few weeks before i moved out, i told his partner that basically i couldnt handle his temper and screw him.

i am now going to mention again that breakdowns cam be manipulative, and his anger im fairly certain was a response to abuse, and for the first couple years at least he was very nice and supportive most of the time.