#trying some new stuff figuring shit out

[crow-person]

Have you ever drew Yamato or Corazón ⁉️😋

ofc i have drawn this loser i adore him <3

#one piece #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #one piece corazon #trafalgar law #one piece law #my art #i have some old cora doodles from when i first watched dressrosa #but they're bad so i drew smt new #he deserves it #no yamato tho gonna draw him another time #also included law cuz it felt right to do #also my art may be inconsistent #trying some new stuff figuring shit out

[b4kuch1n]

what if I stream tonite. for dragon business

#bakuspeech #taking one (1) day break from comm bc my brain was starting to melt outta my ears #and try to figure out some lunar new year stuff instead #it is now a new year and the red envelope duty has come around once again #second year. I drew cats for the niblings last year. its dragons this time around #and since its like 20 red envelopes I can Probably fix up and assemble the myself #I dont. like the idea of buying red envelopes. esp since there will be like A Doller inside lmao #I'd rather use the card envelopes with something scribbled on top rather than buy red envelopes. idk Im a weirdo abt this #but yeah. dragons first. and then I'll see if the shrink film I have is printable #if not I'll do stickers. I still have sticker paper #thats the plan. I'll probs bring up all the shit that happened to or around me in 2023 on stream lmao #and see if my friends are good to hang out on stream with me #okay. alright. uhhh probs I'll try and be live at 8pm (in 3hrs)? been a slow day Ive done nothing but walking very slowly around the house #mmm. have a good day guys. perhaps see u on stream. lets have fun

[comet-wire]

Ngl I've been having a gender crisis again on top of all the stuff that's happened with my dad, I think I still identify as male/masculine idk 🗿

Same with my ace/aro spectrum placement ☝️🗿

#comet rambles #putting in queue to deploy later #parent loss tw #just in case by association n implications ☝️🗿/nm+gen #when i get stuff set up with my checking account i was already thinking of getting a new chest binder once our personal issues with finance #has been figured out definitely #i dont wanna say much n jinx stuff so ill leave it at that #personal #gender shit is hard n i really think i may be a he/they or he/him still #or if not then closeted butch lesbian idk #most signs point to male gender identity leaning though 😔👍 #also my social battery is outta wack but i needed to get this out so i apologize to anyone who i have yet to respond to/gen+nm 🥹 #like i genuinely still feel as though ive been born in the wrong body and i tried to accept my feminity and it went well!! #like i started embracing my femininity the past few years and now i think im over it because it feels like i just attempted to try #and be something i wasn't if that makes any sense #i hate being referred to as she/her or as a girl even if i understand some people will still see me as fem despite my personal identity etc #its not that i hate my femininity its just i feel anything but female while still enjoying traditionally fem stuff at times #hope this makes sense #🗿👍 #still ace/aro though just cant figure out if i only enjoy the thought of romance (cupiosexual/romantic) or if i feel comfy in one #i know im sex repulsed though thats for certain #as of lately chris Redfield and Albert Wesker have become two of my transition goals and idk what to do about this lmfao #i wish i was kidding #but im not 😭 #sitting here like EVA shinji with his head in his hands in the damn chair image/lh #also wanna be a rootin tootin goth cowboy 🥰 #if it turns out im like a comphet butch/nb lesbian im gonna shit myself though/lh+nm

[exopelagic]

sudden realisation that the thing holding my art back is that I never had an anime phase

#going to find a time machine and get my younger self into death note or smth #I have been driving myself insane for the past few years bc I wanna draw characters but all I know how to do is portraits #I’m trying to figure out how I could recreate smth similar now and tragically I think it does just come down to draw more :/ #however! I am also going to try using brushes which will be bad for sketchiness and better for lineart bc I might need to force myself here #I just gotta simplify things down to basic shapes how hard can it be #[has been thinking this exact thing for years and it’s not worked] #I am getting better every time I do stuff I’m just not satisfied bc art is frustrating when you know what you want but can’t get there #god it’s 2am I should not be awake rn but I could draw again tonight so I was taking advantage #endlessly frustrated by hair. why is it so awkward. I need to understand hair better how do I do this #i have a feeling it’s bc I’ve not figured out how to apply the shit I figured out abt volume yet #I’m also getting impatient bc I’ve been trying to do a study thing for some art styles but I decided I wanted to draw ocs instead of that #when I hadn’t gotten to the actually important bit which was. making smth new. but I can still do that #and I ended up doing a different style anyway (someone pls stop me rounding everything make me use high opacity square brush for my health) #the Other problem is I never wanna switch brushes. like I want to use one brush for whole drawing bc the extra clicks annoy me #I wonder if there’s a shortcut to swap brushes #anyway I’m gonna stop complaining bc drawing is fun but god I wish I’d drawn some more pokey mans when I was a teenager yknow #ideally younger. would rlly like to not have to actually think to figure this out rn #I’m probably overthinking stuff anyway honestly and I KNOW I’ll get it if I practice enough but goddamn it is hard to practice #especially when my me insists on making the bad things look better by making it more realistic #instead of figuring out why the shapes aren’t working #OKAY IM DONE WITH THIS NOW. GONNA TRY NEW ART THINGS LATER STOP TALKING <3 #luke.txt

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

#rat rambles #oni posting #for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files #the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out #I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space #I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed #and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies #probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow #itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas #one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing #also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know #their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation #but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there #god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad #btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it #and I desperately need to view it I need to view it #also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier #also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer #(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought) #but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it #again Im mostly just hunting for lore #hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department #maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont) #man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol #in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps #I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit #idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with #Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years #which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable #albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids

[queenerdloser]

me: oh i'll buy my brother in law some fancy coffee because he is a coffee snob! i did that last year and it was a hit so might as well do it again. i am not really a coffee person, so i'd better check on what to buy him. now, dear google, what are the best coffee beans i can buy online?

me, two weeks later, well into the rabbit hole with at least twenty tabs open: hm, i'm not sure about this washed ethiopian single-origin with notes of cherry, roses, and pomegranate. maybe the other anaerobic processed ethiopian beans would be better even though they can come out a lot funkier due to the experimental processing. oh, but this particular roaster has been degrading in quality over the past few months, so maybe it'd be better to go somewhere else.

me, a week later: wow i've bought myself a pour over drip brewer and some fancy coffee and i now have Strong Opinions about the best independent coffee roasters in the U.S. oh and i finally bought the two bags of coffee i originally planned to get that started all of this nonsense in the first place.

#liveblogging life #the amount of times i've accidentally become an amateur expert on a subject purely bc of research i did #for buying a gift or some other menial thing is uh. definitely not zero lmao #me: obviously i have to deeply research this thing i want to buy for someone to make sure it is Very Good #i also do this with stuff i buy for me btw. #me: i should get a new printer! #me several days later: i know am aware of all the opinions about current printer trends #i shit you not i had about 15 tabs of different coffee roasters open for at least two weeks lmao #also reddit is an invaluable resource to me when trying to figure out things to buy even if theyre also annoying #i bought the pour over stuff bc eventually i was like huh maybe the reason i havent liked coffee in the past #is bc ive only ever really had shitty coffee. when i have it at my sister's place it's usually really good #and they use pour over and aeropress for their brews. plus it was like 30 bucks for a kit might as well give it a shot! #anyway all of this to say it's amazing that i didn't realize i had adhd until my twenties

[loverboybitch]

knit sweater i made drying out after i dyed it in my kitchen sink.//.

#uploads #fashion #fibres #the color is kinda weird but i like it alot that really washed out wine red #gonna fuck around with this more still myb do a little bleaching and some more dying but for now she rests #also shrunk a bunch lowkey after i washed it so hope i can stretch it back out a bit we will see #reflecting several hours later now that its mostly dry and i got to try it on #i think the color looks kinda washed out cause i wrung it out really realyl hard when i was washing it #i feel like that wasnt super smart cause i do wish it was a bit darker but also maybe i just need a darker dye mix #but i really was squeezing that shit to get the water out and i think it probably desaturated the color a bit #lessons for next time #also rewrote and made a edited version of the pattern ive been working with so its more my own #changed a couple things so im gonna try and make another sweater soon i think #gotta figure out what wool i wanna use maybe ill go back to the galler yarns WOW wool but also the mohair was really nice #i have a ton of fine alpaca but ive been using that for my woven project instead and its alot thinner #idk how it would look esp cause im using such big needles #maybe i could size down and try that but id have to really figure out a whole new pattern n knit counts idk maybe #anyway just thinking out loud cause its 5am and i cant sleep but i also cant work on sweater anymore cause its just chilling #n i need bleach n some other stuff #also gonna knit a trim for the bottom and sleeves fuck weaving it thats too hard #but then im gonna have to figure out how to dye it so it matches but uhhh haha idk #good thing its kinda a tester

[dutybcrne]

I love the idea of Tighnari being like Maomao in that he tested all sorts of weird shit on himself while growing up and even in the present, and wound up with a poison immunity/resistance bc of it.

#//Not just plant stuff (prolly already has it due to Dendro affinity tbh) but animal venoms/toxins too #hc; tighnari #//Also the idea of him getting all happy and hype in finding new weird shit to play with & learn abt #//Immediately trying to figure out remedies for and to MAKE out of it #//It’s not terribly irresponsible in the least #//At least HE knows how to treat himself and to identify what that weird shit is #//Unlike SOME folks who wander about in the forest #//Love the idea of him and Cyno having that Jin.mao moment where she was casually sucking on the flower & he goes to partake #//Only to spit it right out and sputter when she tells him it’s poison #//Love that for those two nfbfb #//Love the idea of THAT being Tighnari’s menace to Cyno #//Cyno griefs Tighnari with his jokes #//Tighnari stresses him by doing shrooms and messing w shit like that lmao #//He would never encourage anyone else to do it tho #//As stated; he Knows what he’s doing #//Well; he didn’t really growing up besides whatever guides and books he had #//But other than that went by Vibes alone

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

my agenda of the angels being dilf-lovers continues <3

#original post #fic: splinters of madness #great news. we still have a lot. but! less than before. uh. in worse news #this chapter is gonna be more than 30k. sorry; i know thats a lot #my bad yall. i just. dont want to split stuff up :') #unrelated. itching a lot. trying to figure out if this is a sertraline side effect. it SAYS its uncommon but like. #i swear to fucking god man if im like allergic or some shit im going to lose it :') back to the drawing board id go and i DONT want to #my writing

[doctapuella]

this third cup of coffee is gonna cure everything I just know it

#not thriving!!!!! #i have absolutely nothing that is just mine and its driving me insane #just dumb shit like no specifically Me space in this apartment #my markers are no longer my markers #my desk is no longer my desk #my cutting board that i took from my moms stuff? that too!!!!+ #and ive been talking to my partner about this whole new spiritual/mental journey im trying and how great its been #and hes been exploring something similar #which is great yay good for us support #but at some point he said 'so we are on the right track' and i just.... its MY thing man #and now its not even fun anymore #nothing is fun and nothing makes me happy #almost every recent music spiral just makes me angry????? #IDK WHY i like it all still but i just #have no clue who i am as a person #and without anything mentally or spatially thats just for me. I don't know how to figure it out #also im leaving my job in may and its the only thing ive ever done and ever worked toward #and i am getting real fucked up over that even though it was my decision #ive lost every trace of who i thought i was

[watch-out-it-bites]

I am. SO being fucked over by my school 24/7 but if I take extra classes I get to graduate early..

#And not only that- i could take some college credit thingy classes apparently and im gonna do math because MAYBE #that means i wont need to take math next year? im not sure. this stuff is confusing. #they apparently lost our paperwork again and they said that im not allowed to make up my classes so im 'failing' but i also have 98s and stu #ff but ?? gpa bad but?? confused #school isnt very nice and they keep lying to me but i never trusted them in the first place because school people always lie to your face #then theyll lie further and i fucking hate them for that #but they keep on. not doing their fucking job. and im really sick of 'failing' because they lied or 'werent given' paperwork that i went and #gave them in person. paperworkmy mom emailed to them and bills and whatnot #i am. very fucking sick of this school not doing anything except punish me. #i put in so much effort and all i get is my good grades revoked and told 'oh sorry!! you missed too many days but you cant go to makeup sch #ool.. youre gonna have to figure this out!! no way we can help!!' #literally have to goad answers out of them and they refuse to talk to my mom because shes 'too aggressive' yeah no shit shes a mom #you would be mad too having to deal with this dumb fucking school!! it isnt a valid excuse to leave due to a loss in the family!! or illness #my doctors notes dont fucking count what do you mean?? #you tell me all this shit im so confused bro make it make sense am i failing or not? are you even trying?? fuck this school #and then you lie in front of the school spouting bullshit shining your shoes and saying you did wrong to make yourself seem good like #WE HAVE KNOWN. THIS IS NOT NEW INFORMATION. #im scared to go back to school on monday

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #I feel good cause a new friend at work said something about how my boyfriend hasn't talked much to him since meeting me #And I was like uh oh I do not want to be that bitch #and I know he's been trying to organize some kind of game might and I was like rip you can't get him to play stardew valley with you #and I don't like stardew valley so I was like hey what about minecraft? because if I get them playing together on a realm then It's fixed #so anyway now I might have a new server and friend group to play with and hopefully I'll be less in the way of the preexisting friend group #because I'm really conscious of when I'm the reason stuff goes poorly so I don't wanna be a reason friends don't hang out anymore. #cause that shit sucks. jealous girlfriend type can go die I ain't about hogging people I don't feel good about it. #I just want everyone to get along and be friends #I'm putting in the work to learn bedrock mechanics. that's how committed I am to this. I hate variations on an established base. #it's the autistic in me for sure. I loathe multiple versions of songs. there can only be one true version. one right answer. all else is bad #so the slight discrepancies between bedrock and Java drive me absolutely nuts bonkers up the wall #I read a really good twilight fanfic and it rewired my brain and now I'm forever mixing up which is cannon and which is fanfic #because my brain immediately booted the version I preferred less and installed the new fanfic version as the correct right version #anyway. I'm hunting tutorials that actually explain the mechanics and taking notes so I know how to adjust the designs for aesthetics #because you need the minimum mechanical base to work before you can ad lib a building style and design onto the structural framework #I figured out the iron farm mechanics so tomorrow I think I'm gonna work on gold farm stuff. and redstone I just want to learn myself

[godhasforsnakenme]

BOOK REVIEW 📖

This is the one for February – I was reminded of this book half way through the month and decided to reread it again because I couldn't remember how it ended; plus a short mystery is always nice to read (side note: this ended up as an ebook read bc I couldn't remember where in my storage boxes I have my copy – it's in storage because it's a paperback edition and old and I don't want it to die on me yet lol)

#ben picks up reading again #dania rambles about shit #hewehewhehehewhehw I've forgotten to upload these for the last two months LMAO #not to worry I am at least still reading :D #alrighty this is for the most part spoiler free (execpt where indicated) #it is a very entertaining mystery that feels like a game of cluedo and you really enjoy how everything comes together at different points #so much that it has you going back to see how the hell you missed a detail and going AHA #but yeah counts as a reread but it was so long ago and I'd forgotten practically everything about it that its like a new read #which is a bonus bc I like figuring out mysteries in books and going along with stuff to see if I'm right at the end #not to much analysis in this review like the last book as I feel it didn't need it #each character is pretty likeable with some unlikable moments sprinkled in #also I really love how the POV switches and flows easily between each of them which is what makes this book so easy to follow along with #insight on when i first read it #i was in fifth grade and we had a reading club sort of thing that our teacher picked us for #like a greatbooks fishbowl sort of thing instead of just our regular reading/comm arts time in class #i think it was the last one's we read for that year because I don't remember any after it #anyway we had to staple the last couple of chapters together so we wouldn't be able to know the ending nor the stuff leading up to it #that way we could play along and try to solve it ourselves #we had a betting pool sort of thing going with candy to see who could guess correctly #just a box full of sticky notes with whatever theories we wanted to include with the bet #and a whole wall with those large paper pad sheets that teacher's would have for their easels in order for us to connect the dots on things #yeah we went into it #kind of wondering if we ever got to the end or if something came up that we couldn't finish the book like i sort of remember #our tutor missing a couple of weeks and then state testing and then it was just the end of the year and we were turning in the books to her #anyway just more admin lore

[gxtzeizm]

the most struggling part being a multimedia person for my uni's esports club is when i need to include the elements of gaming in every posters....i mean the posters for festives celebration like christmas for this month

#yup i'm currently trying to design for the christmas poster #and yet the only thing matters the most is how i need to include any elements related to esports and gaming into the poster #well i already put a winter scenery from genshin as a background #and do some coloring on it to fit on our official color code for this session #which is shocking blue and black also white as well #and yeah since that shade of blue is too bright to become a backgroud color #so that's why i toned down a bit into a darker version of that shade #and yeah....that's the only thing that i can design for today #and now i need to figure out what kinds of gaming related elements that i can include to my design rn 🫠🫠 #iz and her maroon uni life #iz and her multimedia shit #<< yup new tag alert....for me dumping all the stuffs about my multimedia work rn lmaooooooo #iz being too random

[exopelagic]

just take this

#I know I’m posting a lot like this recently but #I’m just so fucking tired #I tried so hard at the start of this term to make sure I wouldn’t be struggling like I normally do and then stuff happens #and my shit gets moved around in ways that are out of my control and I’m in hell again #and I just like. even when things are good at the end of the day I’m pretty consistently kinda sad #is this the fucking winter I swear to god #I think it probably comes down to the fact that I have a truly ridiculous amount to think abt rn and it’s so hard to keep track of it all #and there’s always something immediate that I need to do alongside multiple long term things which I’m chipping away at but are always there #like immediately I have two presentations to write #and less immediately I have 6 lectures to catch up on. I gotta watch two before Monday #presentations and ideally some lectures by Thursday #and then on top of that there’s the coursework we just got given that I need to think about within the next few weeks #an essay Tuesday after next #figuring out a project area which means at least 3 more meetings. ideally more #also within the next 2-3 weeks bc otherwise I won’t have time #and then on top of that hockey is starting to feel like a job. #between mounting admin I’ve been trying to keep on top of and neglecting my degree and it being so busy and having to fill in for people #who are missing #and then the new skates are better but have their own issues and the laces fucking kill my hands #I need to find time to just go to a free skate sometime but that’s not happening until the new year :/ #bc I’m going home immediately after term ends bc my sister is doing a performing thing that I need to be home for to watch the dogs #so my mum can go #and then like. constantly getting new drama that **I** have to deal with for some reason bc this one girl has decided I’ve betrayed her #a ‘massive fucking betrayal’ apparently even though I barely know her and I had no idea what was going on with her #and then. the whole fucking situation with The Guy #and god this different guy after hockey tonight when we were cleaning up was complaining and made a dumb joke and I made a dumb joke #and it was. dumb. and he was like hey luke is everything okay with your degree bc you’ve been more and more tired every time I see you #and he was taking the piss but he’s Right #luke.txt

[urbanfiltered]

why am i crying lmao

#i really like my current manager he is so cool!!!!!!! #i like his workflow bc it is similar to mines #he was the one to interview and hire me and i am forever grateful for that #and we get along really well in terms of personality and stuff #versus the new lady who is soooooo up in my business all the time #and she likes her reports written differently in a way that i hate and it doesn’t make sense to me #and she has all this millennial cringe cheerfulness i cannot stand #versus my current manager who is like #Effortlessly Cool #anyways i am going to k*ll mys*lf #i know i’m complaining a lot about personality differences but my real gripe honestly has more to do with the way they structure their work #it’s so different and. my current manager’s shit is a lot more detailed and flows a lot more linearly #i have no fucking clue what this lady wants and everytime i try to do somethinng for her #her feedback is so weird and niche and random #like i CNNOT figure out what she wants #i was considering setting up a meeting with my current manager (after this project) to complain about her but now that we are switching #i don’t really see the point #plus some irrational part of me feels very abandoned #i can’t help but feel like maybe i was so bad at my job that he wanted to get rid of me and toss me at the new lady lol