#tlouff

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Never Stopped Loving You

I Never Stopped Loving You

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC “Catie”

Word Count: 7700+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes:  @theewokingdead is such an enabler and I love her for it! This is 100% her idea (I’ll post it at the end). I’m just doing the words!

And yes, this is my first OFC character! 

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Main Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

I Never Stopped Loving You Part 2>>

September 26th, 2013

2 pink lines.

2 little pink lines that will change the entire course of my life from here on out. Not just my life, but his life too.

Joel.

It’s not like we just started dating. It’s been a couple of years, but we hadn’t really brought up the idea of adding another child alongside his Sarah. And yet, here I am, staring down in disbelief at these 2 little pink lines, memories of the night that caused this from a couple weeks ago flashing before my eyes briefly before my brain starts to spiral.

Would he be happy? Mad? Leave me? Feel obligated to marry me? How will Sarah feel?

Before I can spiral more, my phone springs to life, it’s ring loud in my tiny bathroom as it vibrates across the counter. I knew from the ring it was him, but what I didn’t expect was Joel to sound so tired and frustrated.

“Hey baby.”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Is that contractor being a dick again?”

He chuckles, low and deep. “How’d you guess?”

“He’s been giving you shit for weeks. I don’t know how you deal with it.”

“Because I need the money. But I’m starting to think it may not be worth it to keep my mouth shut.”

He launches into a story about his day from hell, how the contractor is making everything take 10 times as long as it should. When he finishes, he takes a deep sigh before speaking again.

“You able to check on Sarah?”

“Yeah. She’s doing fine. Ordered a pizza. Sorry I couldn’t hang with her.”

“It’s alright. You feelin’ any better, sweetheart?”

I could tell him now, tell him that my secret suspicion of my nausea over the last several days has been confirmed, but I don’t want to tell him like this. Not over the phone, not when he’s exhausted and frustrated. I’ll tell him when I see him next.

“A little.”

A beep sounds and Joel pauses. “That’s Tommy. I’ll call him back later.”

“No, no. It’s ok, answer it. Just go home and get some sleep.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. See you tomorrow?”

“Definitely, sweetheart. Feel better.”

I feel guilty for not telling him right away, but the timing just isn’t right. Besides, this gives me some time to wrap my own head around it and figure out exactly how to tell him.

—----

Waiting was not a great idea.

I had fallen asleep at some point, but I was woken up by…is that screaming? Something is happening outside and it doesn’t sound good. 

Creeping up to the window, I pull the curtains back just enough to peek outside. People are moving about the street, but something isn’t right. They’re all running from Mr. Stevens, my neighbor from several houses down. He’s running after them, but it’s not normal. No…not human. He leaps forward, jumping onto the nearest person and…shit!

I run back to my nightstand and grab my phone. The first few times I try to get a call out, it’s a busy signal. Whether the lines are cut or busy is beyond me, but I have to keep trying. My fingers tremble as I use speed dial to try to get Joel. The phone slips from my hand and clatters to the floor.

“Shit!”

I bend down and pick it up, hitting the green call button and miraculously, the call goes through. My breathing speeds up, I feel like my heart is about to pound out of my chest. I’ve never needed a call to go through more than now-

“Catie?”

“Joel?”

“Thank God. Listen, somethin’ is happening. Something with the people-”

“I know. I saw the neighbor-”

“Stay away from them-.....not right-....Sarah and I-.....”

“Joel?” The line keeps breaking up, static cutting out more than half of whatever he was trying to tell me.

“....just stay put….no lights….there soon…”

“I- ok. I’ll stay here.”

“Love you, sweethea-”

The phone cuts off and the connection dies with it. I pull the phone away from my ear and look down at the screen. My phone still has battery but over the service bars is an X. Guess they either cut the service or something happened at a tower. Either way, it’s not good. 

I stay there a moment longer until more screams and glass breaking from across the street somewhere bring me harshly back to reality. I click my lamp off and head into my closet, finding the new hiking backpack I’d bought a couple weeks ago with Joel, who planned to take Sarah and I hiking soon. Be smart, Catie. It’s just like camping. What do I need realistically?

I’m no stranger to traveling, so I roll all my clothes, putting on a 3rd pair of jeans and a shirt, making sure to pack and wear thicker socks that will last longer. I also toss in a bar of soap, my waterproof matches and firestarter, some salves I had just finished making last week, and some other random items. The pack isn’t too heavy, which I’m grateful for. I grab one of Joel’s flannels and throw it on over my clothes before hoisting the backpack over one shoulder. 

Quietly, I creep downstairs, ears straining to hear anything out of place. I hear nothing - well, nothing aside from the ominous noises from outside. I’m so glad that I have curtains all around my house, never wanting people to see in, especially at night. I fill my canteen with water and grab a bunch of high protein, portable snacks, tossing them in my bag and strapping the water to the side. I make up another canteen to add to the other side to balance the weight. Plus, having extra water wasn’t a bad thing. Right?

I kept my phone on me in case Joel managed to get through again. I pull it out to see if anything had changed, but nothing. It’s been at least 20 minutes since I spoke to him, but even if he had left his home right at that moment, it would still be another 5 or so minutes before he’d get here. And I’m sure he’s running into obstacles outside. 

When it hits the hour mark, I become officially worried. 

I know he told me to stay put, but the screams outside are lessening, which can only mean one thing. I’m not waiting around for it to be my turn.

Grabbing a pen, I scribble a quick note telling Joel to meet me at the cabin, my parent’s cabin that they had given me to use with Joel and Sarah. It’s out in the middle of nowhere but it’s self sustainable and the perfect place to hideout from…whatever is happening. 

I leave the note in a conspicuous place, hoping that he’ll be able to see it. I check the knives I stored in my boot and one in a leg strap on my thigh. Initially a gag gift from my brother when I started hiking more, I learned how to use them a little, just in case. Otherwise, I have my bow-my bow!

Quickly, I head into my office closet and grab my bow and quiver of arrows, making sure I have the proper attachments for attaching them to my backpack. I pick up my keys, fingers trembling and I nearly drop them. 

Then my sliding door crashes open, glass shattering everywhere, inhuman noises coming from whatever fell through it.

I don’t even bother to look, throwing open the front door and slamming it behind me, eyes scanning the yard for any threats. Thank God I have a keyless entry, the car unlocking for me and I throw my bag and bow in as I slide in the seat of my suv, slamming the door shut behind me. I fumble with the keys, trying to jam them in the ignition when I hear my front door slam against the ground. I manage to jam the key in and the engine turns over. I backup quickly out of my driveway and peel off down the street as Mr. Stevens comes out of my house, moving towards my car but quickly giving up as I drive away. 

I make it about 10 blocks when I see her. My neighborhood friend Lucia, running for her life from…something who used to be a someone. No hesitation, I turn my suv, slamming into the something and sending it flying. Lucia turns and sees me, eyes wide with fear as she runs towards me as I beckon her to get in. She throws open the passenger door and screams at me to go before she even closes it behind her. I do, speeding off down the road and somehow managing to get out of the nieghborhood without road blocks or hitting anything else.

For now, I’m ignoring what I see and focusing on getting us out. 

Lucia says nothing, eyes scanning the road and looking behind us to make sure everything is clear. By the grace of a higher power, we manage to make it to the back highway that will eventually bring us to my parent’s cabin. Or my cabin now, I guess. 

“Luce, are you ok?”

Lucia is breathing heavy but she nods, turning her head towards me as she starts to relax slightly. “Thank you for stopping. I..I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.”

“I’m just glad I could help.”

A few moments of silence pass between us before I speak again.

“Are you hurt or..or bit? I don’t..I don’t know what-”

“No. I don’t know how but no.”

“What are they?”

Lucia takes a shaking breath and I can hear her trying to hold back tears. “I..I don’t know. They aren’t…they were people but now?”

“Yeah that’s pretty much all I saw too…oh is there anywhere I need to go or drive by for you?”

She looks away from me quickly. “I uh…no.”

“Where’s your brother?”

She was quiet for a moment. “He left on his business trip a day ago.”

Right. Japan or something.

I reach over and squeeze her hand, feeling us both shaking. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

More silence.

“What about Joel? And Sarah?”

“I uh…I was waiting for them but… I left a note telling them where to meet me.”

“Oh. I’m sure they’re fine.”

We drive for a little bit longer, Lucia messing with the radio to try and find anything that was playing. It was all just static. I take the exit I need and clear my throat.

“I’m pregnant.”

Lucia’s head snaps towards me. “You’re what?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Great timing, huh?”

“Does Joel know?”

A sob jumps out of my throat, one I didn’t know I had. “No. I..he had a hard day at work and I figured I’d tell him tomorrow…”

“Oh, Cat. It’s ok. He…he’ll find you for sure. I know it. Buuut…until then, you have me! Wait, did you pick me up just because I’m a midwife?” I can hear the smile in her words, but she’s still not 100% certain.

“I picked you up because you needed help. And you didn’t look injured.” She laughs at my admission. 

“I love your honesty, Cat.”

We chat about the pregnancy the entire way, only quieting when we reach the long, hidden drive to my cabin. We do a quick perimeter check, inside and out. Nothing and no one. The closest neighbors we have are literally miles away. We have more chances of seeing a bear than another person. 

Lucia helps me unload the few things I have in the car and heads inside. We take a quick stock of all pantry items and I’m thankful that Sarah and I did so much canning the last time we were here. She had gotten slightly obsessed with the idea and was looking forward to eating it when they were ready. Water wouldn’t be an issue either as we have our own private well, no need for electricity. Which is good because that doesn’t work without the generator and we are not turning that on. It’s too noisy and would attract trouble.

Lucia and I have a low key dinner of beef sticks and some dried vegetables, chatting with each other to try and lighten the dark cloud that has crept over the world. She heads off to one of the bedrooms and I head off to mine, the one I share with Joel. Once I’m finally able to collapse in the bed, I allow myself a moment to cry, worrying about Joel and Sarah and the baby that’s currently growing inside of me. I still have hope they’ll make their way here. I have to or I’ll crumble into bits and float away on the wind.

—----

20 years later…

Lucia and I stayed in the cabin for nearly 10 years. She helped me safely bring my daughter Penelope, or “Poppy”, earthside. We raised her in the cabin, teaching her everything she needed to know about survival and life, despite her young age. This is how life is now. She’s still allowed to have kid time of course, which is why there are murals painted on nearly every corner of the cabin. 

About 10 years in, Lucia, who had never given up on finding someone or a transmission on either the radio or the ham radio, finally found one talking about a settlement in Jackson, Wyoming. It would take us nearly a month to get there, let alone the danger we’d be in. The suv would never make it, having given out years ago, but luckily we had managed to make a small farm for us and that included a few horses and a couple that could pull a wagon or 2. After gathering up all the information we could on Jackson, we determined it must be a real place and put it to a vote with all of us. After the winter snows melted, we left for Jackson, packing up our entire lives, or what we could anyway, and plotting out the safest route possible. It would take us about a month, especially with the detours we were taking, but they were necessary to avoid the areas that would most likely have bandits. Or worse.

The last thing I did before I closed the door was to write a letter to Joel and Sarah, telling them where we were going. Even 10 years later, I had not given up on them.

—----

A month later, we arrived in Jackson, a few more scrapes and bruises to our name, but luckily, we hadn’t run into too much trouble.

Lucia got work right away, considering her background as an official midwife. I was hired to help with the gardening because of my immensely green thumb and knowledge of herbs, and Poppy was allowed to help with the livestock we brought, after school was done for the day. Poppy was beside herself with the idea of going to actual school, even though she knew most of what they were teaching anyway. 

We all settled nicely, Lucia falling in love with a nice man on the other side of town, eventually moving in with him and starting a family of their own. Poppy made a ton of friends, finally allowed the freedom to be a kid for more than a couple of hours. 

As for me? 

I never really dated anyone, my heart given to Joel a long time ago. I know the likelihood of seeing him again is extremely slim, but I still have a tiny sliver of hope that he’s around. And maybe he’s heard about Jackson and will head this way. Which didn’t impact my decision to come here. Nope. Not at all. 

But the biggest surprise that Jackson held for us was Tommy, Joel’s brother. He was married to Maria, the woman who started this community with her father, and lived on the farm where they kept the horses. Poppy and he got along right away, her begging for more stories about her dad and he would pretend to be annoyed but would give in every single time. She continued this ritual as she grew, eventually bringing her boyfriends with her, searching for Tommy’s approval, just like a father.

One beautiful fall day, I’m walking through the market, trading for new produce and supplies when I hear some people gossiping over lemonade at the small eatery in town. I tend to ignore gossip, never having been one for it, until the phrase “Tommy Miller’s brother” reaches my ear. I freeze, listening intently on their words, but I’m only able to make out that he was here in town. 

Joel was here. In Jackson.  Joel. 

I turn, marching towards the small group of people that were doing the gossiping when I heart the alert - bandits were attempting to attack the dam. Growling out in frustration, I turn to run towards that side of town, slinging the rifle from around my back once I assumed my nearly hidden position on the wall. We make quick work of the bandits, especially since we are heavily fortified and secured. That doesn’t stop them from trying, though. 

Once the attack is over, I search the throngs of people for Tommy, just spotting him getting on his horse and heading home. Cursing, I turn, heading towards Tommy’s house on foot, my mind now completely on Joel since the bandit attack was over. Was he still in town? Does he know I’m here? Does he know he has a daughter?

I arrive at the farm and immediately head for the barn, knowing Tommy would still be tending to his horse. Sure enough, he had just finished putting her away, locking the gate behind him.

“Tommy!”

He sighs and doesn’t look at me right away. Which tells me he knows exactly why I’m here.

“Hey, Catie.”

“Is he here?” I’m standing just a couple feet from him, arms crossed and my foot tapping slightly with nerves.

“Who?”

“Fuck you, Tommy. You know who.”

“I-”

“Tell me the truth.”

He meets my gaze for a moment before nodding. “He was.”

He was here. Joel was here, in Jackson, alive and I didn’t- wait. Did he say was?

I swallow hard, willing my tears to just wait until I’m by myself. “Is he ok?”

“Yeah. Well, I mean as much ok as we all are.”

I let out a breath of relief. He was ok. Probably a little worse for wear but he was ok.

“Did…did you tell him I’m here?”

Tommy studies me for several moments, his dark eyes bouncing between mine, as if he’s debating with himself. “I…did.”

He knows I’m here. Joel knows I’m here, alive and well and he just-

Oh. 

Of course. It’s been nearly 20 years and it would be ridiculous to think the man still loved me after all this time. He didn’t even know I was still alive. He’d never even met his daughter. If he no longer cared about me, fine. But why wouldn’t he want to meet his daughter? Unless…

“Did you tell him about Poppy?”

Tommy’s entire stance is apologetic and I know his reply before his lips even part. “No.”

“What the fuck, Tommy?”

He puts his hands up in a calming manner. “It shouldn’t come from me.”

“Fuck you, Tommy! He doesn’t even know he has another daughter. He deserves to know-”

“You’re right, he does. But not from me-”

“I can’t fucking believe this. It’s been 20 years, Tommy. 20 years and he didn’t even stop to say hi? Maybe if you’d have told him about Poppy, he’d at least stayed long enough to see her.”

I poke him in the chest as hard as I can. “It’s your fault he left!”

Tommy grabs my wrist and pulls me closer, his voice lowering to just above a whisper. “He had other things to take care of.”

“What could be more important than family?”

“All of humanity.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“He had a girl with him. Maybe…14? 15?”

My heart sinks. Did he have another daughter after the clickers came? As if he could read my mind, Tommy shakes his head.

“Not his. Her name is Ellie and she’s….special.”

“That’s disgusting, Tommy.”

He gives me a look. “She was bit.”

“Bit? And you let her into Jackson?”

“And she hadn’t turned.”

I could feel my eyes grow wide. Bit? Without turning? That’s impossible.

“How do you -”

“Saw the bite myself. I’ve seen enough of ‘em to know what they look like. It’s legit.”

“Fuck,” I whisper. This is huge. Definitely bigger than me.

“Yeah… anyway, he was takin’ Ellie to the Fireflies because they can supposedly make a cure out of her blood. Or that’s the hope anyway.”

“A cure?”

“Yup. This whole mess could be put behind us.”

This…this is life changing. World changing. My 20 year long devotion to a man I was deeply in love with paled in comparison to a cure for the clickers. Tommy told me Joel still had a long way to go, but if anyone could make it, he could. 

“ ‘m sorry, Cat. I wish he could’ve stayed to say hi.”

“Did…did he say anything about me?” I hate how needy I sound.

“Honestly, we didn’t really talk about you other than me mentioning you were here. The focus was Ellie.”

I nod. The focus was on the right thing.

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I doubt it. It’s a long trek and pretty dangerous. He’d be smart to just stay put, especially to take care of Ellie.”

I left the barn and headed straight home. Poppy was out with her boyfriend so I had the whole place to myself. Which gave me plenty of alone time to cry and, for the first time in 20 years, try to move on from the dream I had about starting a little family with a man I never stopped loving.

—----

Spring in Jackson is always beautiful. The colors come alive, blooming from every surface they can for miles in greeting the season change. It’s also the perfect time to start planting certain crops so they’ll be ready when it comes harvest season. 

I’ve finished planting in the community garden, dirt crusted under my fingernails despite my scrubbing at the garden sink. I’ll be able to use a brush at home, but for now, I smile at the grime on my clothes. It means Jackson will have food and enough to last through winter. 

Taking off my apron, I toss it into the laundry basket to be cleaned and head towards the home I share with Poppy. She doesn’t spend as much time there these days, but I can hardly blame her. She is 20 and in a pretty serious relationship. I would not be surprised if the boy popped the question any day now. 

I turn onto Main Street and Mrs. NoseyPants stops me. I know it’s not her real name but it fits her better.

“Catie! How are the crops going? Jackson going to survive?”

“Mmhhmm. We should be great.” I try to step around her, but she blocks my path.

“How’s that daughter of yours? Still getting on with the Miller boy?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I hope he makes an honest woman of her before something happens.”

“Something happens?”

She looks around, as if she expects anyone to actually give a fuck about what we’re saying. “Yes. Like an out of wedlock child.”

I plaster on a fake smile. “Oh yeah. That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t like your tone, Catie.”

I open my mouth to offer some sarcastic retort about not really giving a rat’s ass what she thought of my tone, but my gaze moves over her shoulder and the crowd parts just enough for me to see him.

Joel. 

Unmistakably him, despite what the last 20 years has put on his shoulders. His back is to me, but his head is turned to the side, looking at all of the houses and buildings that line Main Street. Fuck he’s still handsome.

“Are you listening to me, Catie?”

I blink but don’t take my eyes off Joel, afraid he’d disappear if I did. “Full offense Mrs. Bennett, but I don’t have time to listen to your outdated and hateful words. Have a nice day.”

I know her jaw has dropped as I scoot around her, and I know I’ll probably pay for that later, but I couldn’t care less. My eyes are fixed on him as he walks slowly, eyes still moving from house to to house, taking it all in. I’m only several feet away before someone literally walks into him, dropping the giant stack of boxes they had been carrying.

“I am so sorry sir!”

The young man stoops to try and gather up the boxes and Joel turns to face him, bending to help him gather them up and reassemble them in his arms. “Don’t worry about it.”

The boy nods and takes off. Joel’s eyes follow him, making sure he doesn’t drop them again when his gaze meets mine. Those dark eyes move right into recognition and shock, blowing wide as it finally sets in who he’s looking at. 

I hesitate only a moment before I move towards him, nearly running and shoving a few people out of my way. And suddenly, I’m standing in front of him, all 5’11 and broad shouldered, just as he had been 20 years ago. More lines adorn his face, and several scars, his hair is speckled and streaked with greys, but somehow it makes him all the more attractive. My breath catches in my throat and I find myself speechless in front of the man I would’ve given anything to speak to for 20 years.

“Catie?” He chokes out my name, eyes scanning mine as if he was waiting for me to say he was mistaken. That I wasn’t who he thought I was.

A quick sob escapes me as I nod frantically. “It’s me.”

His hand, large and warm just as it always has been, comes up to cup my face, his thumb tracing my cheek, as if touching me was proving to him that I was real. And then he pulls me into his chest, hugging on to me tight, like I would disappear from his grip if he didn’t. I hug him back, crying into his broad chest, unable to believe that I was finally, finally, holding onto him. 

He pushes me back slightly, only to look at my face. “You’re…you’re alive.”

I chuckle through my tears. “And so are you. I thought Tommy told you I was here?”

He nods, his dark eyes still on my face. “I thought he was makin’ shit up to try and keep me here.”

“Well that does sound like Tommy.”

Joel chuckles deeply and it sends a jolt through my body. God how I missed that sound. 

“He told me you lived down this way.”

I cock my head to the side. “Were..were you looking for me?”

Pink blooms across his cheeks as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “I had to see if he was full of shit.”

“Fair point.”

We stand there, in the middle of the street just staring at each other for several minutes before I blink back to reality.

“Are you hungry? I was heading home to make something to eat and shower. I…if you want to join me?”

His eyes darken briefly and I realize too late what I said. 

“I’d love to. But…”

He’s struggling with words.

“..but… what?”

He clears his throat, looking away from me for the first time. “Wouldn’t your uh…husband or boy friend or whatever be upset?”

Smiling up at him, I shake my head. “I don’t have either of those.”

His shoulder seem to slacken in relief. “Oh. ‘m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

The corners of his mouth tick upwards in a small grin and I feel like my insides are melting through my skin. How can this man still get me going after 20 years?

“Lead the way.”

I gesture down the street in the direction we’d have to go to get to my place. We don’t say much, Joel still taking in Jackson but always having one eye on me. I know we’re about to have a difficult conversation. How will he feel about Poppy? About how our life turned out? Or his? Tommy had told me about Sarah when I first came to Jackson. The hardness behind his eyes shows that he’s still dealing with the grief and I imagine he always will. It’s no easy thing to lose a child. 

We arrive at my house and I unlock the door, heading inside and flipping on a light.

“You have power?” He asks.

“Mmhmm. Tommy was able to hook up a generator of sorts to the power grid. It’s heavily guarded and taken care of so no one has messed with it. He’s been talking about trying to use water or wind energy, but we need someone who knows that.”

I kick off my boots and Joel copies me, setting his down next to mine. 

“Poppy? You home?” I call out, not wanting her to walk in the middle of whatever was about to take place. When I receive no reply after a few calls of her name, I shrug my shoulders in a ‘guess she’s not home’ way.

“Who’s Poppy?”

“You thirsty?” I head towards the kitchen and Joel follows, watching as I take out a pitcher of lemonade. “I also have beer. It’s…not the greatest but it’s something.”

“You make the best lemonade. I’ve been dreaming of it for years.”

I smile, turning to grab 2 glasses and putting some ice in each of them before adding the lemonade. I hand Joel his glass and his fingers briefly brush against mine. They’re rougher than before but not by much, and the jolt this light touch sends through is just as strong as it was 20 years ago.

I head back to the living area and sit on the couch, taking a sip while I motion for him to sit as well. He does, taking his own sip and I catch a nearly imperceivable moan at the back of his throat when he tastes the lemonade. I quickly shove my legs together, hoping he doesn’t notice. I try to cover by setting my glass on the coffee table and he copies me, wiping his hand on his jeans as he settles back, his body slightly shifted towards mine. 

“Is Poppy your uh…girlfriend?”

I laugh this time, not at the idea of me having a girlfriend but at the look on his face while saying it. “No. No she’s-” time to tell him what you should have all those years ago “- my daughter.”

Joel nods, his eyes looking down at his hands and his shoulder slump slightly as if sad. “You- you said you didn’t have anyone.”

“I don’t.”

A knowing look passes over his eyes. “Oh. ‘m sorry for your loss.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “My loss? No, Joel. Poppy is 20.”

“20…what?”

“20 years old.”

It’s his turn to look confused, as if math was passing over his vision. “She’s…20?”

“Yes.”

“So…that…that would mean when…you…” He shifts nervously in his spot on the couch, another swipe of his palms across his jean clad legs.

“Is…is she…”

“Do you remember that night? You had called me, telling me about that pain in the ass contractor you had to work with?”

Joel nods, his eyes glazed over in memory. “Yeah. I called to check on you because you couldn’t stop throwing…up…” His eyes snap to mine, and to my surprise, they were full of hope.

“I told myself it wasn’t the right time to tell you. But how the fuck would I have known that the world would end?” I chuckle nervously, fumbling as I reach got my glass to try and cover my nerves.

He lets out a puff of air. “So I have a daughter?”

My face feels warm under his intense gaze. “Yes.”

He lets out a half sob half laugh of joy, tears welling in his eyes before he tries to wipe them away with the back of his hand. “All these years I had a kid and I didn’t know. I didn’t know, Catie. I-” Another half sob half laugh escapes him and he takes a moment to compose himself, his body not used to such displays of emotion. Not anymore.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that night?”

Why didn’t I? “You sounded so stressed and worried and I didn’t want to add onto that. I was going to tell you the next time I saw you but…” but indeed. 

“How long had you known?”

“That day. I had suspected for a couple of days but I had to wait until I was sure I had missed my period to test and I didn’t want to tell you and be wrong.”

“You should’ve told me, sweetheart. We could’ve done the test together.”

I chuckle darkly. “Yeah I probably should’ve done that.”

“Tommy never told me.”

“What?”

“When I was here before. He told me you were here but not that I…that I have…why the fuck wouldn’t he tell me?” Joel pushes himself up from the couch in anger, pacing back and forth across the hardwood floor. “He should’ve told me!”

“Joel, he did what he thought was right.”

He looks at me, anger flashing in his eyes. “He had no right to keep that from me. If I had known, I would’ve-”

“Not brought Ellie to the Fireflies for a chance to save humanity?”

He stops pacing, turning towards me with shock on his face. “He told you about Ellie?”

I nod, sighing. “He did.”

“And he didn’t tell me I had-have a fucking daughter? And that she was here?”

“In all fairness to Tommy, he only told me after I got pissed he didn’t mention her to you.”

Joel scoffs. “What an asshole.”

“I…I thought maybe if you knew, you would’ve…maybe you would’ve at least stayed to meet her.”

Anger leaves his body and he sits next to me on the couch, hesitantly placing his hand on my thigh. “I definitely would’ve. When he told me you were here…I was intent on seeing you. Or seeing if he was pulling shit out of his ass. But he reminded me how important my cause was and since it was time sensitive, I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t at least have simply said hi?”

“Sweetheart, there is no ‘simply’ between us. If I’d have seen you, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.”

Tears fall from my eyes and I wipe at them furiously. “Did it work out at least?”

“Did what work out?”

“Ellie. And the Fireflies.”

Joel grows quiet for several moments. “Turns out they didn’t need her after all. Found others and couldn’t use the blood.”

He’s lying. I know he’s lying but now’s not the time to press him for more information.

“She come here with you?”

Joel nods. “I wasn’t just gonna leave her there.”

“No, no. I think that’s great. There’s a good community here. I’m sure she’ll fit right in.”

“She was already makin’ friends the moment we walked in the gate.”

A long pause passes between us, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s a processing silence, both of us trying to categorize and file the information we both learned from the other. When I look at him, I can tell he’s far off, thinking and brooding on things, which isn’t always a good thing.

“I wish you’d have told me that night.”

Ah.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“It would’ve changed everything! I would’ve grabbed Sarah and headed straight over to your place, bringing you…I don’t know, ginger ale and crackers? Whatever you wanted. We’d have stayed with you, started our family. Sarah so wanted a sibling. Especially a sister. Shit, she’d be so happy right now if she were….”

His voice tapers off but I know what he was going to say.

If she were alive.

I place my hand on his and squeeze it. “Tommy told me. I know nothing I say can make up for it, but I am so sorry Joel. I miss her terribly. I can’t imagine how it is for you.”

His mouth sets in a line, his jaw clenching, hand squeezing a little tighter on my thigh as if he’s trying to prevent himself from losing it. 

“Maybe if I had known you were pregnant, and we came over, she’d still be alive.”

“Oh, Joel, no. You can’t think like that-”

“I failed her.”

He spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. The guilt in his words, however, was loud enough to hear from space. I bring my other hand to the side of his face, cupping his cheek, his patchy greyish stubble poking at my fingers, and gently turn his face upwards to mine. 

“You are a great man, Joel. And a hell of a father. There is no way that Sarah would ever think that you failed her in any way. She loved you so much and idolized you.”

The tears come this time, unable to hold them back any longer. I pull him to me and hug him, cradling the back of his head as he cries into my shoulder, mourning the loss of his daughter anew as he attempts to put aside the intense load of guilt he’s carried around for the last 2 decades. We stay like this for a while, my own tears mixing with his, as the light from the setting sun streaks through the curtains. 

Eventually, Joel pulls back, wiping at his face with the back of his hand before he finally looks at me, his beautiful eyes puffy from tears. I’m sure mine don’t look any better.

“Sorry about that.”

“Sorry for what? Being human?”

He smiles and the room lights up with it. “You were always so good at that.”

“At what?”

“Letting me feel things. And makin’ me feel like I wasn’t a complete fuck up.”

“That’s because you aren’t.”

He scoffs, smirking at me in disbelief. “I’ve had to do some shady shit to survive, sweetheart.”

“Who hasn’t?”

“You got me there. I’m still a fuck up though. Don’t know how you didn’t see it.”

“Hhmm…” I put my finger to my chin in mock thinking. “It’s probably because I’m in love with you then.”

Joel cocks his head slightly to the side, questioning my statement. I’m not sure why, as my love for him is no secret to me. 

“In love? Not was in love?”

Oh.

“I-”

The front door opens and Poppy walks in. I nearly jump out of my skin, having been completely absorbed in our conversation. Or was it more of a confession?

“Hey Mom! I’m only home to grab some clothes. Then I’m heading to Lyra’s. There’s this new girl in town, Ellie? She’s only 15 but she’s pretty cool. Oh.” Poppy had walked into the living room, her eyes, exactly like her father’s, shifting from me to Joel. I stand and Joel copies me, staying put while I walk around the couch towards Poppy.

“Mom..I didn’t know you had company. You never have company.” She thinks she’s speaking quietly but it’s not quiet enough. 

“Poppy-”

“I mean, I think it’s great, but….but…” Her eyes fully take in Joel, landing on his face as she stares, her eyes slowly widening in realization. She had only seen him in the photos I was able to share with her, a few printed ones and then some on the cell phone I had refused to toss away, carting it across the country along with a charger in hopes of finding power to charge it. 

“Dad?” Poppy whispers in disbelief.

Joel looks nervous, his weight shifting from foot to foot. This man has faced countless clickers, bandits, and worse, but meeting his 20 year old daughter is the thing that does him in?

God I love this man.

His hand comes up and does a little wave as he stares back at her, clearing his throat. “Hi. I’m uh… I’m Joel.”

“Dad!” Poppy drops her bag and runs, launching herself over the couch and straight into his arms, wrapping herself around him as she cries. It takes Joel a moment to recover from the intense reaction, but he wraps his arms around her and holds her, hugging her just as tight. Tears obstruct my vision and I blink quickly, trying to wipe them away so I don’t miss a moment of this meeting. 

Her feet back on the floor, Poppy pulls back, her eyes raking over Joel’s face. “Was I too much?”

Joel laughs, smiling down at his daughter. “Not enough.”

She laughs and he brings his hand to her face, wiping away her tears. “I’m sorry, Poppy.”

“For what?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t know-”

She waves her hand. “Mom told me everything. You never knew I existed and then the world went to shit. It’s ok. You’re here now and that’s what matters! Wait - you are staying right?”

Joel’s eyes shift from Poppy’s to mine and I look back at him waiting for an answer myself. I want him to stay, desperately need him to stay, but I understand if he wants to leave. I never asked if he had someone waiting for him somewhere.

“I don’t wanna step on you or your mom’s toes-”

Poppy blows a raspberry. “Step away! I know mom is thrilled you’re here. And I want to get to know my dad….dad… I can finally say that! ‘Hey, this is my dad!’ ‘Have you met my dad?’ I just…I can’t believe you’re here and not….not here.”

Clever way of saying dead.

“Me too, Poppy.”

“Mom, I know I said I would meet my friends, but-” she glances back at me and then smiles, giving me a knowing wink “-but I..will be going…to meet up with…Benny. Yeah, he’s uh probably waiting. For me. So I’ll just…grab my things and leave you two…alone…”

She is so not slick, but I love her so much. 

She gives me another wink before fully turning to Joel. “We can hangout and talk more?”

“I look forward to it.”

She squeals and gives him one more hug before bounding across the hall to her room and reemerging only a handful of minutes later with a backpack. 

“Poppy?”

“Mom?”

“Stay for dinner at least. Then you can meet up with your friends.”

“Ugh, mom. You’re smothering me.” She has a smile while she says it, casually tossing her bag down before sitting next to Joel. 

I make dinner while they talk, Poppy telling him about her life and asking him a zillion questions about his. He seems to be able to talk about Sarah now, at least a little before Poppy tactfully changes the topic. They talk throughout dinner, laughing and joking, sounds I never thought I’d hear together. Eventually, Poppy leaves to hang out with her friends, excited to tell them about her dad. As soon as the door closes, Joel turns to me.

“Who’s Benny?”

Protective dad mode activated I see. Smiling, I tell him about Benny and how he’s a good guy and about he and Poppy. He seems more relaxed after but still in protective dad mode.

“I’ll have to meet him.”

“I’m sure you won’t have the choice not to.”

Dishes cleaned up, I offer Joel a glass of whiskey and he takes it, tasting a sip before setting it down on the coffee table as he relaxes back into the couch again.

“You and Ellie have a place to stay?”

“Yeah. Tommy and Maria gave us a house. Actually, it’s not too far from here I don’t think.”

“That’s great. I’m sure Ellie will be happy to have a more permanent place to live.”

“And her own room that she can slam the door to.”

We chat for a few minutes about parenting teenage daughters and the challenges it can bring. He takes another sip of his whiskey after telling me a bit about Ellie, or what he learned about her on their long trek anyway. It’s quiet between us again, but this time, I’m warmed by the whiskey and given a slight bit of confidence.

“In love.”

“What?” Joel asks, setting his glass down.

“From before. In love. Not was.”

He turns to me fully, his eyes raking across my face trying to detect a lie and finding none. 

“It’s been 20 years, sweetheart. I don’t expect anythin’-”

“It’s always been you, Joel.”

His large hand cups the back of my head and pulls me to him, his lips crashing against mine and it’s like no time has passed, my lips immediately parting for him like they were created for just this purpose. His other hand comes up to cradle the other side of my head as my fingers cling to his shirt, trying to find purchase on literally anything. I feel like I’m falling but in the most glorious way possible. While I never gave up hope that he was alive, having him here, now, 20 years later, how we both defied odds to just end up in the same community, after the world had been torn apart…

He pulls back, his nose brushing against mine. “I never stopped loving you either, sweetheart.”

My hands slide up his chest and around his neck, gripping the curls at the back of his neck and feeling him groan as he slips his tongue in my mouth again, kissing me harder than before. I feel his fingers gently brush against the exposed skin at my hips, his hands having settled there and I can’t help the moan that escapes me. Joel’s touch has always sent electricity through me, but not having had it for 20 years is a whole new level. 

“I don’t mean to be presumptuous, sweetheart, but-”

“My bedroom is down the hall, second door on the right.”

He smiles against my lips, chuckling darkly. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

—----

>>I Never Stopped Living You Part 2>>

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Original Idea from @theewokingdead:

"I have had this idea for a long-lost love refound fic with Joel Miller swimming around in my head for a while, but I don't think I'll ever get in the headspace to write it. So enjoy what I wish I could write and hope someone will steal. Warning: mention of pregnancy in the beginning.

Imagine it's September 26, 2013. You've been dating Joel for a while and, oops, you're pregnant. You're a flurry of emotions and have no idea how or when you're going to tell him. He calls you late that night, on his way home from a hellish day at the jobsite, telling you about the prick of a contractor he's been dealing with and can't risk losing his job. When he asks if you've checked in on Sarah you tell him that she's fine and you're sorry you were feeling too ill to stay with her today. When he inquires further about your illness, you opt not to say anything, not like this, not when he's had a shit day, and instead feign that everything is okay and you'll be fine. The call is interrupted by Tommy, and you insist Joel answer his call. He offers to call you back, but you tell him to go home and get some rest, that you'll hopefully see him tomorrow.

Of course, several hours later, all hell breaks loose. You manage to get a call through to Joel, telling you to stay put, that he'll come for you, then you lose connection. Joel never finds you, but you never lose hope.

Two decades later, you're living in Jackson, having crossed paths with Tommy a year earlier when he returned to Texas, where you never strayed far from. You overhear the talk - that Tommy Miller's brother is in town - but bandits attack before you can find the source of the rumor. Later, you find Tommy as he puts a horse away in the stable, and you question if it's true, that Joel is here, and he reluctantly tells you he was. You ask if he told Joel that you're here and he says that he did. Your heart sinks - of course he wouldn't still love you after all these years, but why wouldn't he at least want to see you before he left? You ask if he told Joel about your daughter - his daughter - and Tommy says no, that it shouldn't come from his mouth. You're furious, thinking maybe Joel would've stayed in town if he had known that he has a daughter. You let Tommy have it, and eventually he tells you why Joel was in town and why he left, about Ellie and the hope to find a cure. Finally, you come to your senses, realizing there are far more important matters, and try to move on from dreaming about having a little family with a man you never stopped loving.

Months later, you're walking around town when you run into Joel. There are a million different ways the reunion could go. How would you tell him about your shared daughter? How would he feel? Would he be pissed at Tommy for knowing and not telling him when he first came to Jackson? Would he be angry you didn't tell him that night when he called, before the Outbreak? Would he have done anything differently that night had he known - things that could've changed the trajectory of his entire life? Would he wonder if it would have kept you guys together as a family? Would he wonder if it would have even kept Sarah from suffering the fate she suffered? Would he blame you for it? I just imagine it would be one big emotional reunion. How would it end? I don't know. I just love a good re-found love fic - be it happy or sad. I love angst. I love an emotional Joel. It could be fun. But I'll never get around to writing it so let's just pretend I did 😭"

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @Hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @diaryofkali @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @jadore-andor @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin 

#joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #The last of us #the last of us fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal character ff #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 1

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2000+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes:This started as a simple idea for Tommy. He had different ideas and I can’t say no to those freckles and smile. Thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for helping me get unstuck. You always have such great ideas!

And a big thanks to @wyn-n-tonic for helping me form thoughts and give this a little shape. I hope I can be a quarter as talented as you one day!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described. Divider made by @benkeibear

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

It’s crowded in here tonight. Not quite theme park during season full, but close enough. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t seriously need a drink after the day I had at work. And this bar was the closest place to home that was still open.

Or maybe I just pulled into the first place I found.

I somehow manage to score a seat at the crowded bar, sliding quickly onto the stool that’s still warm from its previous occupant. I raise my hand to the bartender and she nods, taking another 2 orders before taking mine.

“Rum and Coke. Less Coke.”

She smiles, tossing me a wink before she walks off to make the drinks. I have to admit I’m mildly impressed by her memory, as she had taken at least 10 drink orders before mine and memorized them all. No wonder she has an overflowing tip jar.

It probably helps that she has giant tits too.

I take a few sips, letting the warmth of the rum spread through me, loosening my muscles before setting the glass down. The music playing is stupid loud, but the people seem to like it, jamming their sweaty bodies together in a tight group in the middle of the dance floor. 

I’ll admit, this isn’t typically my scene. But the patients today were really on their game of trying to piss me off and I decided I earned a drink. I just wish I’d known how loud it would be. Thankfully, I'm not on call tomorrow.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

A man sits next to me, shifting his body so he’s facing me. When I don’t respond, he repeats himself, a little louder.

“I’m ok, thanks.” I try to let him down easy, but turning down a man who’s tipsy and looking to get laid is not an easy thing to do.

“Not yet you aren’t. We haven’t even spoken yet.” 

Sighing, I turn my head to look at him. He’s all blue eyes and light hair, a slight tan on his face but one from hanging out at the pool and not from manual labor. I’d be surprised if this guy had to work for anything.

“I’m flattered, really, but I just want to drink in peace.”

“Oh, come on now, gorgeous. A little conversation won’t hurt.”

“Really, I’m good.” I turn my head back to my drink, removing my hand from the top of it to take a sip. 

“You look stressed. I can help with that.” 

His hand finds its way to my thigh, squeezing me slightly. But before I can do anything, a different, larger hand removes it for me. 

“She said she was done talkin’.”

This new guy is gorgeous. Broad shoulders, a barrel chest, arms that could totally lift me, coupled with beautiful black curls, freckles speckled across his olive skin, accentuating his eyes, which I'm sure are normally kind when they aren't staring down an asshole. 

The man who was talking to me yanks his hand away and stands up, the bar stool scraping across the floor. 

"Fuck off, friend."

"Not until you leave the lady alone."

The man puffs up his chest, sticking his pointer finger out, jabbing at the man with the curls that I'd love to touch. 

"Why don't you fuck off so you don't get hurt, hhmm? Me and the lady were getting along just fine."

The man with the curls looks at me and I shake my head, both to say I'm never going anywhere with this man and please don't get yourself hurt.

"Doesn't look like she wants to go with you."

The man glances over at me and I fix my face into what I hope is confidence. 

"No way. I'm not going anywhere with you."

The man narrows his eyes. "I bought you a drink. The least you could do is come home with me."

Curls laughs and oh, I would love to hear that sound again. "Imagine being such a dick that you think forcing a drink upon a woman entitles you to sleep with her."

The man draws his fist back and quickly releases, punching Curls straight in the nose, his head flying backwards. He stumbles but doesn't go down, his hand swiping at his nose to see its already bleeding. The man tries to grab for me but Curls stops him, landing several good punches of his own. 

"Stop! He's not worth it!" I try to step in but it's pointless. I can't get close enough to stop anything. 

A minute or so later it doesn't matter because the cops show up, separating the men and loading them both into the back of cop cars, Curls meeting my eyes and giving me a small smile before he's pushed into the cab. 

"Excuse me," I stop one of the cops. "Which jail is he going to?" 

"Travis County. The one on 10th."

"Thanks."

The men load up and take off as I turn to walk to my car and head to the police station. When I arrive, the desk officer tells me I'll have to wait a while for them to be processed, but that they will both make bail.

So I wait. 

Several hours later, the kind desk officer rouses me awake and let's me know I can post bail. I do and they ask me to wait in the lobby while they bring him to the front. When he comes around the corner, he's talking to the officer that's escorting him.

"Yes sir, but can you tell me who posted my bail?" 

The officer nods in my direction while extending his arm out, indicating that the man should proceed without him. Curls turns in the direction the officer pointed him and locks eyes with me as I stand, folding my jacket over my arm. He smiles as we walk towards each other, making my cheeks feel warm under his gaze. 

"You bailed me out?"

"I had to. You saved me."

God his smile is like sunshine. "Oh, you didn't owe me anything, darlin'." 

"I definitely did. That guy was a creep and who knows what else he could've done?"

"Well at least let me pay you back the bail?"

I wave my hand at him. "No way."

"There must be some way for me to pay you back?"

I gesture at his face. "How about you let me take care of that?"

He touches his nose and looks at his hand, seeing some dried blood. "Oh, no that's ok. I'll just go clean up-"

I step closer to him, hand stretching towards his face. "I can't believe they didn't get you checked out."

"Ah I'll be alright."

"Stop arguing and come with me."

He looks at me, all brown eyes and tiny freckles, a small smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. "Yes ma'am."

Oh I am so fucked. 

He follows me to my car and gets in the passenger side. As I turn the key on the ignition, I realize I don't even know his name. 

"I'm Tommy by the way." 

I tell him my name. "But my friends call me Daisy."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Daisy."

We make it back to my place, as his truck had been impounded and so unavailable until morning. Tommy tries to decline my offer of a place to stay while he waits for his truck, until I ask if I'm so offensive looking that he wouldn't want to come up to my apartment. 

"No way, ma'am. Quite the opposite."

He follows me upstairs, kicking off his boots when I kick off my shoes. He looks around nervously and I see him scanning all the windows and doors. 

"You serve?" I ask. 

He looks at me, eyebrows raised. "Yeah. Desert Storm. How'd you know?"

"My dad always scans a place when he enters it. I'm assuming you'll want your back to a wall too? Exits visible?"

"I…yeah. That would be preferable."

I gesture to my couch, which is against the wall. "Have a seat. Let me get my first aid kit."

I grab my kit and some ice in a bag and sit next to Tommy, who turns his broad chest towards me when he sits up. His eyes glance behind me at my bookshelf.

"That shelf looks like it's on its last leg."

I chuckle. "Probably is. I've had it forever and it wasn't high quality to begin with. Just some Ikea shit."

He groans, like I’ve just offended his entire ancestor line. "No, not Ikea! I could make you some new ones."

"What, are you a carpenter or something?"

"Similiar. Contractor. But I do know my way around wood."

"So do I."

Tommy shifts his legs at my implication and I smirk, dabbing at the now dried blood on his face, cradling his chin with my other hand. 

His eyes are on me, so close I can feel his breath puffing out against my skin and I feel heat starting to pool between my thighs.

"Pride and Prejudice?" He asks. 

"What?"

"On your shelf."

"Oh. Yeah. Haven't read it in a while but I was obsessed when I was little. Wait - have you read it?"

He smirks. "Are you surprised?"

"A little."

"My niece needed help with her book report. So I read it to be able to help her."

"You read an entire book to help your niece with a paper?"

"Yeah."

"That's really sweet. Not many people would do that."

"Oh I'm not many people."

"That's for sure.. hey Tommy, are you hungry? I have some pizza left over."

His eyes flick between mine, a soft smile appearing on his face.

"I love pizza."

"Great!" I move to the kitchen and start getting out the pizza, putting some slices on my pizza stone and turning on the oven to preheat it. 

"I rented the new X-Men movie from Blockbuster. Have you seen it?" I ask as the oven bings and I slide the pizza in it. 

"You managed to snag a copy?"

"I bribed the cashier."

He chuckles. "I haven't seen it yet."

"Ok cool. I'll put that on for us."

The pizza finishes reheating and I divvy it up, offering Tommy a beer. We sit on the couch, plates on the coffee table as I get out the DVD. Tommy whistles. 

"You got a DVD player?"

"Yeah. It was my one splurge on myself when I moved here. Well that and a new mattress."

I fast forward through the commercials, cursing the makers for not adding a "skip ad" button. 

"Is your boyfriend gonna be alright with us hanging out?"

“Yeah, no. I don’t have one of those.”

Tommy sits up a little straighter. “Oh? Why not?”

I shrug. “I just moved to a whole new city and wanted to settle in. I don’t like long distance because it just never works out. Plus I can’t deal with all the-” I twist my wrist in a circle “- neediness?”

Tommy chuckles. “Neediness?”

“Yeah. My job takes a lot out of me and honestly, I don’t have the mental space for a boyfriend right now. That’s why I like you.”

Tommy points to himself, eyebrows raised in question. “Me?”

“Yeah. I’ve only known you a few hours but you’ve already saved my ass and don’t act all high and mighty. Plus you have great taste in books and movies.”

Tommy and I finish watching the movie and I drive him back to the impound lot now that it’s open. We exchange numbers and promise to hang out again, both of us missing the glances in the other’s direction. Although I’m pretty sure he caught me staring at his ass when he was standing at the checkout counter. 

“So you’re just….friends?”

Tommy nods, taking another sip of his beer. “That’s what I said, Joel.”

Joel studies his brother, his eyes narrowing. “She pretty?”

“So pretty she’d make a man plow through a stump.”

The corner’s of Joel mouth tick up for a second before he fixes a stern look on his face. “Be careful, Tommy. It’s hard for men and women to be friends if they’re attracted to each other. Someone’s bound to get hurt.”

“That would mean she’s attracted to me, big brother, and there’s no way. She ain’t lookin’.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“‘Sides, don’t you want a good example set for Sarah? That boys and girls can just be friends?”

Joel shakes his head, pointing at Tommy. “I don’t want her near any boys for any reason for her entire life.”

>>Chapter 2>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989

#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters #gabriel luna character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 9

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 3500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: So I thought this may be the last chapter. It's not. Because I'm me.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

Raiders. I’m honestly surprised it’s taken this long for someone to find us. But I thought, or assumed we’d be mostly ok, hidden as well as we are. Joel and Tommy are always extra careful whenever they have to venture out further than our property to scavenge, making sure they aren’t followed. But they’ve only seen people once and that was years ago.

Sarah and Jax move quickly into the hall closet where Joel and Tommy had made a secret hiding place behind a back panel. Tommy hands me a shotgun and squeezes my hand, trying to reassure me that it will all be ok. But I don’t see how it will be. 

The cabin is silent, but getting louder is the unmistakable sound of a truck, no, trucks. Joel and Tommy exchange a look, moving to stand by the front door but well hidden behind the shutters. Rose and I wait in the hallway, staring at each other as we listen as hard as we can. The trucks park and we can hear muffled voices getting out of them. Joel peeks through the slot on his side and whispers to Tommy, but I’m close enough to just hear it. 

“It’s Mr. Jones.”

Mr. Jones? The man who sold us this cabin? We should be ok then, right? I chance a glance around the wall and watch as Joel’s posture changes, his face hardening even though his back is to us. 

“He’s with the Raiders.”

Why is Mr. Jones with raiders? Was he captured? Why would he come here, to a cabin he’d sold us long before the outbreak? 

“What’s the move?” Tommy looks at his brother, waiting to see his reply. Joel stands another moment, watching the men get out of the truck outside. 

“Just follow my lead and stay quiet. If it goes south, take the kids and the girls and get out.”

“I won’t leave you-”

“Tommy.” It wasn’t a suggestion, but a firm warning, and by his silence, I know Tommy complied. 

Joel takes a deep breath and unlocks the door, carrying his shotgun loose in his hands, pointed down, but still ready to go if needed.

“Hey, Mr. Jones. It’s Joel. Joel Miller.” 

There’s silence for a moment before he replies. I have to strain to hear him properly. “Holy shit! Joel? It’s really you?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh! Wow, never would’ve guessed. Everyone make it out ok?”

Joel pauses for a moment, like he’s thinking how to best reply. “We survived the outbreak.”

A chuckle. “Well that’s amazing news!” There’s a slight lull in the conversation, a heavily weighted pause.

“Can I help you all with something?” Joel asks.

“Ah. Well see, I’d forgotten about this cabin, having sold it to you so long ago. Well, it feels like a long time ago. So much has happened…..anyway, I remembered we were setting it up to be off grid and I hoped you all had continued that, maybe have some supplies? I didn’t think you’d actually be here.”

“What supplies do you need?”

“All of them.”

There’s a more weighted pause before Joel replies. “Yeah, I can’t help you with that.”

“Well now, I think you can.”

This isn’t like Mr. Jones. Not the sweet man and his sweet wife who just loved the Miller brothers. Mrs. Jones especially adored Tommy, as she often told him he reminded her so much of a brother she had lost when she was younger. I can hear Tommy grip his gun harder and I glance at Rose, both of us locking eyes in the understanding that we may have to book it down the escape route rather quickly if things escalate. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jones. I would be happy to trade with you, but I can’t just-”

“You know, the only reason you’re still alive is because my wife loved you guys so much. Tommy especially. He reminded her so much of her brother Gabriel. She wouldn’t have wanted anything bad to happen to you.”

“Is she ok?”

Another pause. “She…didn’t make it past outbreak day.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. She was a good woman.”

“She was. But, now you see my predicament. I don’t want to hurt you out of respect for my wife. And I’m assuming you have a lot of resources, considering I’m fairly positive your brother and your kids and wives are all hiding here too.”

“So what do you propose?”

“There’s no need for bloodshed here. There are many of us and a few of you. Still, I wouldn’t want to upset my wife.”

“Alright then. You and your men can just go and we’ll forget it happened.”

“Ah, well. I do have responsibilities to my men too. They also have families and needs…how about this: we leave you all here with your supplies, but you and Tommy have to come work for us. Only when we need you. We could use your construction expertise but also your, apparently steady trigger fingers.”

A long pause. “Can I have a moment?”

“Absolutely. We’ll be here, in good faith.”

“In good faith.”

Joel’s heavy boots tap against the floor as he moves back inside, gently closing the door almost shut behind him, his peripheral trained on the men he can see through the crack. Joel calls to use and Rose and I join our men in front of the door. 

“Well?” Joel asks, looking at all of us.

“How many men are there?” Rose asks. “I’m a pretty good shot.”

Joel shakes his head. “There’s at least 10. And they mentioned families so I think if they didn’t return, more would come.”

“We could just leave? Throw a few things in some backpacks and head out the tunnel with the kids?”

“And go where, Daisy?” Joel’s dark eyes meet mine. “There’s nowhere around for miles and these raiders are bound to go looking around. Not to mention the damn infected. We can’t give this place up.”

I know he’s right, but still. It had to be said.

“I don’t like this, Joel.” Rose takes his hand and squeezes it. “I don’t want you gone for God knows how long.” 

Joel lifts her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “I know. But we have to do this to take care of you. All of you. Tommy?” Joel looks at his brother, but I don’t have to look to know what his response will be. Tommy will do anything to protect Jax and I, no matter what.

“Yeah. We gotta protect ours.”

Joel nods at Tommy. “It’s settled.”

It was almost 2 weeks before they came back, just one vehicle, Joel and Tommy gathering up their backpacks, nerves visible in their features. Joel went around back to grab another tool bag and Rose and Sarah followed him. Jax was still asleep upstairs and Tommy had already said goodbye to his sleeping son. He slides his arm through the other strap and I adjust his flannel shirt, picking at it in an attempt to do something other than cry. 

“Hey.” Tommy lifts my chin with his finger and gently presses his lips to mine before pulling back to look at me. “I’ll come back. I promise.”

“Please be careful, Tommy. I love you so much, I can’t…I can’t lose you. Not again, I-”

“Hey, darlin’. I love you too. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

He pulls me to him and I nuzzle into his chest, inhaling his scent, letting it permeate my brain as it tries to memorize everything about him. But then Joel walks back inside, handing Tommy another tool bag before moving to the front door. 

“Be safe.”

“You too.”

Rose, Sarah, and I stand together in the doorway, watching Joel and Tommy get into the truck, not knowing when they’ll come back.

Or if.

The first few times they went, they helped the raiders build some additions to their compound, fortifying their defenses and just general maintenance and repair. I had asked Tommy if no one there knew how to do any of this, as it seemed pretty odd that in a compound of the size they discussed, that no one knew how to do something as simple as switch out a doorknob.

“Yeah, normally that would be odd. Except, they’re all rich people.”

I look up at him from where I had been snuggling against his chest. “What?”

He nods. “Yeah. Before the outbreak, all of these people had money. I’m talking loaded. Lots of them telling stories about it. So they’re not used to doing things for themselves.”

“So the rich people are raiders?”

He shrugs. “Guess maybe they couldn’t cope with doing without. So they just started taking.”

About 6 months in, the raiders come to collect Joel and Tommy, this time for an actual raid. They promised they’d be careful, looking out for people and clickers. But I don’t like it. It was bad enough them going to help the raiders build their home. But this?

They don’t return for nearly 2 weeks. 

Before, they were gone at most 4 days. Byt the end of the 2 weeks, Rose and I were ready to go charging the base and probably would have if it wasn’t for Sarah and Jax. 

They returned in the middle of the night, the kids fast asleep. Rose and I were still awake, having a hard time sleeping without them here. But the sound of a truck was unmistakeable in the quiet and we carefully headed downstairs, peeking out the slot in the shutters that Joel had looked out before, making sure it was really them. Joel and Tommy hopped out of the truck, slinging their bags over one shoulder without so much as a glance behind them. But my initial wave of relief at the sight of them quickly was replaced by concern as Tommy gets closer and I can see the hunch in his shoulders, his eyes on the ground. Something had happened. Something bad. Rose opens the door and Joel steps inside, Tommy following behind him as Rose closes the door. They drop their packs and kick off their boots, stowing them in the little baskets we had placed by the door.

“Tommy?” I reach for his hand but he snatches it back, not quite meeting my eye.

“I need to shower.”

I was stunned. He had been on some dirty construction sites, even building for the raiders, and not once has he never kissed me when he came home. Out the corner of my eye, I see a similar conversation happening between Joel and Rose, Joel following Tommy upstairs. 

“What the fuck happened?” Rose whispers to me, her eyes on the stairs where Joel had just been.

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem good.”

I pop my head in the kid’s room, checking that they’re still asleep. I should stop calling it the kids room as Sarah is nearly 20 now. But they’re both so attached at the hip, I forget that she’s so much older than him. 

I close our door behind me, hearing the shower click off as I kick off my house shoes. I sit on the bed, quietly waiting for him. Tommy emerges from the bathroom, towel slung low around his hips, his hair wet and curly, sticking to his neck and forehead. He turns to the dresser and grabs a pair of boxers and puts them on, tossing the wet towel in the basket. He sits next to me on the bed, still not looking at me. It’s almost as if he’s..ashamed?

I cup my hand to his cheek and lift his face to mine and immediately have to choke back tears at the look of defeat in his eyes. “Hey. I love you.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I love you too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to give details. But fuck, Daisy, I…we had to do some shady shit and I don’t…But it’s to keep you safe so I will, but-”

“Hey, hey,. It’s ok. We can just leave. We have the truck and we have more time now so we can load it up and-”

He shakes his head. “Joel’s right though. They’ll come looking for us. Especially now.”

“What do you mean especially now?”

Tommy looks down, picking at his fingers. “We were good at our job. Joel more than me, but they liked how good of a shot I am.”

“Tommy. Look at me.” It takes him several moments but he does, his eyes watering. “I love you. I love you no matter what, ok?” He nods but like he doesn't believe me. I place my hands on either side of his face and pull him to me, pressing my lips to his. 

And to my surprise, he melts into me, one hand coming up to tangle in my hair, the other gripping my hip as he deepens the kiss. He turns his body, pressing me down into the bed as he lays on me, kissing down my neck, goosebumps erupting down my arms. I know this isn’t a healthy way to cope but it seems to be what he needs and honestly, I need him. I need to hold him, know he’s here with me, solidly here. He pushes his hips against mine, my back arching as he nips at my neck, his hips rocking faster and faster, chasing his high. His hands are everywhere, sliding over my skin, gripping me, touching me, his lips drawing paths across my body. My fingers tangle in his curls, my legs wrapping around him, urging him deeper, faster until finally lights erupt behind my eyes, my whole body tingling as I moan his name, hearing my own echoed back at me as his hips sputter against mine. He presses his forehead to mine and takes a few breaths before he pulls out, allowing me time to use the bathroom first. When he’s done, he slides into bed and pulls me to his chest, wrapping his large arms around me, my back pressed into his broad chest, his nose in my hair. 

“I’m here if you want to talk, but I’m also here if this is what you need. Whatever you want, I’m here, Tommy.”

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Every time they leave, I swear a part of them doesn't come back. Joel seems more aggressive. Not to us, but just...angrier. Tommy's shoulder's slump, his smile often not reaching his eyes, staring blankly out at the trees as he relives whatever horrors he's had to do.

It's when the last bit of life in his eyes snuffs out that I decide I need to do something.

I'd always told him he could talk to me and sometimes he did. I know he hasn't told me everything they've had to do, and I don't expect him to. I've asked him to leave before, but he always said Joel never would. That he couldn't leave his brother. But after 5 years, it finally took that last little bit of him I had left. I couldn't continue on like this. We couldn't continue on like this.

I come back into the cabin, washing my hands in the kitchen sink, before I head back outside, walking down through the trees to the dock, knowing I'd find Tommy sitting at the edge of it, glass of water clutched in his hand as he stares blankly out at the water, a million miles away.

"Hey, handsome." I sit next to him, gently placing my hand on his thigh and giving it a light squeeze. He blinks rapidly a few times, coming back to present before looking at me, smiling slightly.

"Hey, beautiful."

I place my hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb over the bit of stubble that had grown in the last few days. "Are you here with me?"

His dark eyes meet mine and he blinks. "I am."

"Come with me?"

He cocks his head slightly to the side as I stand up, offering my hand out to him. He takes it, the warmth from his large hand seeping into mine as I lead him off the deck and back into the woods, down a path he'd taken me years ago. Albeit I was blindfolded, but I'm not bothering with a blindfold this time.

It had taken me a few days to figure it out, setting up the tent and blankets just like he'd done for our anniversary not too long after...well, after. I thought for sure he'd know where we're going but if he does, he says nothing, his fingers still laced with mine as we walk around trees and over roots. When the clearing appears and he sees the tent, he stops walking. I look back at him and am met with a blank stare.

"Tommy?"

"What..what are we doing here?"

"I thought it might be nice to get away for at least a night."

His jaw clenches. "Shit, did I miss our anniversary?"

At least he remembered why we had been here before. "No. I just...come sit with me?" I take his one hand in both of mine, pulling him slightly towards the blanket I had spread out. He pauses for a moment but then acquiesces, kicking off his boots and stretching out his long legs on the blanket. I kick off my own boots and sit next to him, hesitating before taking his hand again, feeling him lace his fingers through mine.

"I love you, Tommy."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

I told myself I wouldn't cry, that I'd be strong. But when I looked at him, his eyes staring at mine, and I couldn't see that light, I lost it. Giant drops fell from my eyes, splashing against our entwined hands.

"Hey, hey Daisy. What's wrong?" He drops my hand to place it on my cheek, cradling my face with both hands.

"I..can't...can't..."

He pulls me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and I finally feel safe, secure, like he's fully here with me in this moment. It takes me a few minutes to calm down, but he's patient with me, always so patient, just holding me and letting me sort myself.

"We have to leave, Tommy."

He doesn't move, still for a long moment and so I sit up, drying my tears on the back of my hand.

"Daisy, we can't. I told you, Joel won't-"

"Every time you guys leave, a part of you doesn't come back. I know you're having to do terrible shit, more terrible than the crap you've told me about. And I've supported you as best I can, but Tommy, I feel like you're finally slipping away from me and I can't pull you to me, and I can't lose you, I just can't. Not again. I won't survive it."

"Oh darlin'. I'm right here."

I look up at him. "But that's just it. You're not. Even when you're here, you're not. This last trip. Something took the last bit of light from your eyes and I-" a sob ripples up from my throat and Tommy immediately pulls me to him again.

"You said you're protecting us. But who's going to protect us when you're gone, Tommy? Even if you're alive, you can still be gone. Please. We have to go."

A drop of water hits my cheek, but it's not my tears. I turn my head up and see tears freely flowing down Tommy's cheeks. This time it's my turn to hold him, press him to my chest as he cries. It's several long minutes before the sobs stop, the tears finally drying. My fingers are still tangled in his curls, gently patting him and lightly scratching his head. He sits up, wiping his eyes on his arm.

"I'm so sorry, Daisy. I thought I could handle it."

"Hey. You're so fucking strong. Most people would've cracked by now."

He smiles weakly. "I would have, if it weren't for Joel." His face falls. "He'll never leave, Daisy. He's convinced this is the safest option."

"Tommy, we can't continue on like this forever."

He nods. "You're right. I gotta take care of my family and that's what I'm gonna do."

"What if Joel won't come?"

"He won't. I'll make the offer to Rose and Sarah, but I'm sure they'll stay. But we'll still go."

"You sound like you have a plan?"

He's quiet again, his eyes going far away for several moments before looking back at me.

"Actually, I do. I've heard about this freedom fighting group called the Fireflies."

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[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly Chapter 6

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 4000+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This chapter will be entirely from Tommy’s pov. It’s also bringing in a Joel story I’ve been dying to write.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

&lt;<;Chapter 5<<

Tommy rubs his wrists as the officer unlocks his cuffs, gesturing to the phone on the wall. 

"You get one call. 3 minutes."

Tommy nods and picks up the phone, hesitating a moment before dialing his brother's number.

“Hello?”

“Joel, it’s me. Uh, I’m ok.”

“Yeah?”

“But I’m in jail.”

“Goddammit.”

A little offended, Tommy defends himself. “Wasn’t my fault this time. I was at the bar, some guy goes crazy, starts swingin’ at a waitress, I stepped in, knocked him out, cops show up-” The din from the other room gets louder, like people are fighting almost. Look, it doesn’t matter. You gotta bail me out.”

“Now?”

“It’s Friday, you don’t get me out tonight, I’m in here all weekend. It’s a fuckin’ madhouse, Joel. I gotta get out.”

“Well, which jail? Travis County?”

“Yeah, on 10th.”

“Goddammit Tommy.”

“I’m sorry….Please?”

“Ok.” Joel hangs up after that and Tommy stares at the receiver for a moment, hoping that his brother shows up fast.

It's when he waits for Joel that Tommy really sees it. The way people are behaving oddly, just like the man in the bar, lunging at people or twitching. Some of the officers' hands shake as they restrain them, their heads moving from side to side as if trying to clear their minds of a fog. Something is happening, what specifically he can't say. But something is very wrong. All he knows is he has to get Daisy and Jax and get out of town with Joel and Sarah and Rose, if Joel wants that? Maybe to the cabin? Would Joel even believe him? 

Just then an officer opens the cell, his hands shaking and fumbling with the keys, dropping them a couple of times before he jams them into the lock and pulls the door open. Tommy quickly walks past the officer, who's now shaking his head and walks down the hall towards the front desk. He sees Joel standing there, his arms crossed and a hard look on his face. 

"I thought you were done with this shit, Tommy."

"We have to get out of here."

Joel snorts. "No shit. You think I want to spend my night here?"

Tommy looks at his brother, holding his gaze. "No, we have to leave. Somethin' isn't right."

"What-"

Screams and gunfire echo down the hall from where Tommy just was, obvious signs of multiple people fighting. Joel looks at Tommy and nods towards the front door as the desk officer draws her gun and moves down the hallway, her screams cut off by the door closing behind Joel. 

Outside isn't any better. People are running, screaming down the street while other people chase them, pushing them down and…biting their necks? No. Kissing them? No, their lips aren't touching. 

The window from a store front next to Tommy breaks, glass shattering all over the road as a person falls from the store, gashes covering their body as they jerk and twist. Suddenly, their, no, her head jerks up and she looks at them, something long and like tendrils sliding out of her mouth just as an inhuman sound comes from her throat, her body launching at the men.

"Shit!" Tommy yells as he moves from her way, her body crashing to the floor momentarily before popping back up. 

"Move!" Joel yells and Tommy runs after him, heading towards his truck at the end of the street. Joel reaches it first, just as Tommy feels her fingers close around his shirt, pulling him to the ground. She straddles him, leaning her head towards his, the tendrils sliding from her mouth, reaching towards him, trying to pull her mouth closer to his as Tommy slams his mouth shut, desperately trying to shove her off him. 

CLUNK!

A large wrench slams into the side of her head and she flies off Tommy, landing on the sidewalk, her body no longer moving. His chest is heaving as he gasps for air, Joel shoving his hand in his face to help him up. 

"We gotta go!" He tosses the keys to Tommy who hops in, starting up the truck and taking off the second Joel closes his door, another one of those things pounding on the window, tendrils pressing up against it. 

"Take 42nd to Palm and cut through that alley." 

Tommy nods to his brother, his eyes glued to the road where people are running around, trying to avoid getting pounced on. He makes it to the shortcut, his tires screeching down the alley as he heads toward the neighborhood where he and Joel live. 

"We'll grab Sarah first since we're up first."

Tommy nods. "Be quick, Joel. I have to get to Daisy and Jax."

But as they pull up to the dark street, they see Sarah running from the neighbor's house, a look of pure terror on her face. Tommy pulls up and Joel jumps out, his wrench in his hand as an old lady runs from the house Sarah just left, tripping over the stairs.

"Get in the truck!" Joel yells at Sarah as the old lady gets up. She grunts, running at them as Tommy moves from around the truck. 

"What are we doing here Joel?"

Joel tightened his grip and swung, hitting the lady square in the face, her body hitting the ground. 

"You just killed her!" Sarah gasps from behind Joel. He turns to her, kneeling a bit to her level. 

"It's not just here. We have to be strong, ok?" She nods, hopping in the back as they jump in, the truck roaring to life as Tommy speeds off down the road towards his house. 

They pull up and Tommy's stomach jumps to his throat. The front door is wide open, the plants on the front steps knocked over, dirt splattered across the ground. 

"Fuck," Joel whispers under his breath. "Sarah, stay in the car and do not come out. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes." 

Tommy opens his door, fingers trembling as a thousand horrible images cross his mind of what may lay inside the home he and Daisy had created. He tightens his grip on the shotgun he grabbed from his backseat, Joel sliding into a position behind him to cover him as they tentatively step inside. 

The room is a mess. Furniture is upturned, frames dangling on the wall, broken glass scattered across the floor, the lights flickering as the lamp desperately tries to stay lit. But as they step towards the kitchen and the main stairwell, Tommy has to swallow down a wail, panic seeping through his veins and threatening to take over his mind, his body turning cold. 

"Is that…blood?" Joel whispers, coming up beside Tommy, looking down at the dark puddle on the ground. 

Tommy nods, not trusting his own voice as he rounds the corner, his shotgun weighing heavier in his hands. No one is in the kitchen, cups clattered on the floor, some drawers pulled out and silverware scattered across the floor. 

Tommy then turns to the stairs leading to the bedrooms upstairs. Joel claps his hand on his shoulder, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of "You got this?"

Tommy nods, flexing his fingers against the wood of the shotgun and turns his gaze towards the stairs, slowly ascending them and taking a double step so as not to step on the creaky stair he'd promised Daisy he would fix months ago. His throat tightens thinking of her and he prays to whatever is listening that she's ok. That Jax is ok. 

He makes it to the top of the stairs, more things scattered about the floor up here too and turns to Jax's room, his door half open. Toys are scattered about the floor, his lamp over turned and the room nearly pitch black. He swears he hears a small shuffle from the back of his closet and he swallows hard, terrified of what it could mean. He grips the gun tighter, taking a deep breath. 

"Jax? It's Daddy."

There's a moment of silence, Tommy's stomach churning with every second as hope fades from him. But then the closet door bursts open and Jax jumps out, his arms outstretched towards his dad. 

"DADDY!" 

Tommy drops to his knees, quickly setting the shotgun on the floor and opens his arms, Jax throwing his own tiny ones around his neck, little tears streaming down his face as Tommy embraces him, his own tears falling freely.

"I am so glad to see you, little man! Are you ok?" Reluctantly, Tommy disentangles Jax from him and he looks at him. Nothing seems to be off about him other than the fact he was terrified. 

"I ok, daddy."

"I'm so happy to hear that, little man. You were hiding and waiting for us?" 

Jax's eyes go distant as he remembers, nodding his head. "Mommy said to hide and wait for you or Uncle Joel if she not come back."

Tommy's heart races at the mention of Daisy. "Jax, look at me." He turns his face up and looks up at his Dad, fear blowing his pupils wide. "Where's mommy?"

Jax is quiet for several moments before he speaks and Tommy almost misses it with how softly he talks. 

"Mrs. Johnson was being mean to mommy."

Tommy feels himself go cold, blood rushing, heart pumping as fear floods his system. He tries hard to swallow down his fear for Jax. "What, uh, what happened?"

"Mommy woke me up. Said to hide in my best hiding spot. Not to come out until daddy or Uncle Joel or mommy come to get him. That if I do, if I stay really quiet, I win the game. But…" His eyes flick behind Tommy at the door, the door that had been half open when they came upstairs. 

"Jax it's OK. You're safe."

Jax looks back at Tommy, eyes watering with fear. "Someone hit on my door. Mommy saw me hide. Took my..r..Rangers bat. She open the door and Mrs. Johnson…" He glances at the door again before looking down at his feet. "She was doing doggy sounds and chasing mommy. But not like when we play. She tried to bite mommy."

"Did she bite her?"

Jax thinks for a moment. "No."

Tommy lets out a puff of air. That's at least something good. "Where did they go?"

"Mommy ran out the door. She made a lot of noise. Mrs. Johnson chase her. I hear sounds from downstairs but then quiet. Then daddy get me. I win, daddy?"

Tommy pulls Jax in to his chest, hugging him tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Yeah, bud. You win."

Joel clears his throat. "Tommy, we gotta go. We can't stay here."

"I can't leave Daisy. I can't, I-"

"Tommy." Joel speaks in his stern brother voice. "We have to keep the kids safe. Daisy wouldn't want you to risk Jax-"

Anger floods Tommy, heating his face, a rushing sound in his ears as he stands quickly, taking Jax with him. "How the fuck would you know what she wants?"

"Because she's a mom! How pissed would she be if something happened while we were lookin' and waitin' for her?"

He's pissed. So pissed but mostly because his brother is right. Daisy would skin him alive if something happened to Jax while they were looking for her. 

"I… I can't…"

Joel grips his shoulder. "We'll go to the cabin still. It would be a safe place to hunker down. Leave her a note or somethin' but we have to go. Now." 

Tommy nods, succumbing to his brother's order. They all head back downstairs, Tommy grabbing the pad of paper and pen that they always kept near the phone. He quickly scribbled a note to Daisy, telling her they had Jax and were heading to the cabin and to meet there. He ended it with an I love you, taking a shuddering breath as he sets the note on the table, Sarah placing Daisy's backpack next to it, the one she had packed last night in preparation for their weekend trip. While he wrote, Jax had grabbed his own little pack and Joel grabbed any food he could carry from the cabinets, tossing it into some grocery bags that were stored under the sink. 

They all head to the front door, Joel doing a quick scan of the area before they silently move back towards the truck. Tommy takes one last look inside, speaking quietly while saying an internal prayer. 

"Please be ok, Daisy."

The highway is blocked, everyone having the same idea as them. They cut across a field, intending to take a shortcut through town, but then chaos erupts. People pour from a movie theater, yelling, screaming, biting, and then Sarah yelling from the back seat before the sound of a plane crashing, way too close for comfort. And then his world flips, goes dark for a brief moment before Tommy wakes, upside down, the sounds of terror from the street quickly roaring back to life. 

"DADDY!"

Jax's scream wakes him from his stupor, spurring him into action. He quickly undoes his belt, seeing Joel stir next to him. 

"You ok, man?" Tommy asks as he drops to the roof, which is now the floor, with a grunt. 

"M' fine. Sarah!"

"I'm stuck!"

Tommy sees Joel hit the roof and scramble out to get Sarah. Tommy does the same, whipping out his pocket knife and cutting Jax loose from the car seat Sarah had buckled him into when they left. He grabs him before he hits the floor and pulls him from the truck, faintly registering Sarah whimpering as Joel pulls her from the truck, another car slamming into it a moment later. Jax screams and buries his face in Tommy's neck, his little backpack somehow clutched in his tiny fist. 

The truck is on fire and Tommy steps back, quickly grabbing up the shotgun that had slid from the truck when it had flipped. He looks over the hood at Joel, cradling Sarah in his arms but blocked in the alley. 

"Go! Meet up at the river. Get her out of here, Joel!"

Tommy tightens his grip on Jax. "Keep your eyes closed, bud. Hold tight. I've got you."

He runs, his eyes on everyone and everything as they make their way down a few blocks before cutting down a side street. Mercifully, none of the things seem to notice them, too caught up in the chaos of the street and they make it around the edge of buildings and towards the river. But then he sees them, Joel cradling Sarah and pleading with a soldier who has his gun fixed on them. He quietly sets Jax down, who seems to sense the seriousness of the situation, and flattens himself to the ground, just like he does when they play soldiers. 

Tommy raises the shotgun and takes a few steps. But then he hears a shot ring out and sees Joel and Sarah go down, the soldier stomping up to Joel, who's raising his hands, pleading, begging, telling the man they aren't sick. Without hesitation, Tommy clears the last step to put him in a decent range and pulls the trigger, the soldier instantly going down. Joel looks up at him, gratitude on his face. But Tommy doesn't see it. All he sees is Sarah, blood covering her shirt as she gasps on the ground. 

"Oh God."

Joel snaps his head around and sees her, rushing towards his daughter. Tommy feels Jax hold onto his leg as Joel screams to Tommy for help. But what is he going to do? He has no medical training and he doubts the med pack on the soldier would do much-

"MOVE!" 

In her element, Rose comes from nowhere, her shoulder jamming into Joel to move him aside as she expertly moves her hands over Sarah, ripping her shirt open. She confidently gives some orders to Joel, who takes a second to respond. 

"Joel!"

He shakes his head and moves, doing exactly as she says when she says. 

"Tommy! Bring me his med kit," Rose nods towards the fallen soldier.  

In one swift movement, Tommy scoops up Jax and runs as fast as he can to the soldier, patting down his body until he finds the kit, yanking it from his vest. 

"Tommy!"

"Joel, here!" Tommy tosses the kit to him, Joel catches it and rips it open, doing exactly what Rose says, while also trying to keep Sarah calm. But as he watches her work, Tommy knows there's no way she will be able to save Sarah with just a field patch kit. He glances down at the soldier, his walkie dangling from his shoulder and an idea occurs to him. He kneels, picking up the walkie and pressing the button, waiting a moment to talk. 

"Soldier down, over!"

A moment passes before the static sound of someone picking up echoes across the small lot. "What's your position, over?"

"Back by the river. Murkmire street. Over."

"Stand by. We'll be there in 2, over."

There's nothing left to do but watch and pray that Sarah makes it not just for him and Jax, but for Joel. Especially for Joel. Tommy doesn't want to think about what would happen to Joel if Sarah…

"Daddy, is Sarah ok?"

Tommy looks down at Jax tucked into his side, his eyes wide and worried and it breaks his heart how much trauma Jax has had to see in the last few hours. 

"I don't know, bud."

He nods, looking over towards her. "Rose is good doctor. She will help Sarah be better."

"I hope so, little man." 

Tommy keeps an eye on the perimeter as Rose races to keep Sarah alive. After the longest 2 minutes of his life, Tommy sees the army truck pull around the corner, stopping just short of the soldier and Tommy. They jump out, raising their weapons to Tommy, who raises the shotgun in the air before slowly setting it down. 

"Back up!"

Tommy does as he says, keeping his free hand in the air while the soldier moves towards their fallen man. But before he can say anything, Rose’s voice booms across the short distance.

“He’s gone. I couldn’t save him. But she can still be saved if you get us to med.”

The soldiers blink, staring down the several feet towards Rose, whose hand is now buried inside Sarah’s stomach, literally holding her life in her hands. They raise their guns towards them too but Rose just shakes her head. 

“None of us are bit. She was shot. I need you to take me to med so I can save her.”

The soldiers look nervously from one to another before their leader replies. 

“I’ll have to call this in.”

“Can you call it in while we’re en route?”

The soldier thinks for a moment. “How do I know if you’re telling the truth?”

“You can shoot us if we aren’t. But we have to do this now.”

The soldier hesitates for one more moment, glancing down at Sarah, who’s head was starting to loll from side to side as Joel speaks to her, trying to keep her conscious. 

“Alright. Pull the truck around and help her load up. Do as she says when loading, I don’t want blood all over the back.”

“Yes sir!”

Everyone springs into action and before Tommy can even blink, they’re all loaded in the back of the army truck, racing towards the temporary medical camp they had erected at a nearby clinic. They whisk Sarah and Rose away, Joel not allowed to follow his daughter back to the quarantined rooms. Soldiers have to beat him back, but Tommy steps forward, Jax still clutched to his side. 

“I got him! Joel. Joel! Look at me.”  

Joel spins and looks at his brother, his eyes wild as he focuses on him. 

"Hey man. If anyone here can save her, Rose can. But you gotta stay here. Keep out of her way. That's how you can help her. Ok?"

Joel's eyes are hard, but then he nods, crumbling to the floor. Tommy joins him, Joel clinging to his shirt as he cries for his daughter, Jax's little fist twisting into Joel's shirt as he tries to hug his broad shoulders. They stay like that for a while, Joel eventually settling, accepting Jax as he crawls into his lap, hugging onto his neck. Just when Tommy was about to go find some food, the doors open and another doctor walks out and over to them. 

"Millers?"

Joel jumps to his feet and Tommy reaches over to take Jax, who had fallen asleep. 

"Is she ok? Is my daughter…"

"She's alive. Thanks to that doctor she came with. If it wasn't for her, she wouldn't have made it."

Joel lets out a puff of air, silent tears falling down his cheeks. "Can I see her?"

"Yes. Follow me."

They follow the doctor through some doors and then she's there, so small and frail looking on a makeshift stretcher bed, Rose next to her holding her hand while Sarah sleeps. As soon as Joel walks in she stands, motioning to Joel to take her place, which he does, immediately holding Sarah's hand. 

"I'm here, baby girl. I'm here." His eyes are only for Sarah, but he reaches out and grips Rose's arm. "Thank you."

"Of course. We'll talk later. For now, let her rest. And you get rest too, ok? Doctor's orders." She kisses the top of his head and gives his hand a small squeeze before walking towards the door. 

"Are you guys ok? Where's Daisy?" 

Tommy can feel his face harden. "She's not with us. I'm not sure where she is."

Rose nods. "I'm sure we'll find her. There's no way she would let anything keep her from you guys."

"Thanks, Rose."

3 weeks. 3 weeks have gone by since the world went to shit and the last time he'd seen her. The love of his life, the mother of his son.

Daisy. 

Sarah was healing fast and well, even able to walk around the clinic several times before needing a break. She was eating and it was apparent that her wound was not going to affect her eating. 

But Tommy, while ecstatic for his niece, was more than antsy. He was sick in his stomach at the thought of Daisy being out there alone. He couldn't think about the alternative, so he focused on that, convinced she had gone to the cabin like they'd said to do in the note. 

"I have to go find her, Joel."

Joel looks up from where he sits. "You just gonna walk the 150 or so miles?"

"If I have to."

"You have a responsibility here. To Jax. To us-"

"I made a vow to her, Joel! She's my wife. I need to find her!"

Joel stands facing his brother. "I know, Tommy. But you have a job here. You have to protect him."

"But-"

"I promise, as soon as we can, we will all go to the cabin to find her. Ok?" 

Tommy didn't fully believe his brother, not when there were whispers of a quarantine zone, and towns being erected by FEDRA that were supposed to be safe. He can't imagine Joel would give up safety for Sarah for his wife. But he was right - if anything happened to Jax, Daisy would straight up murder him.

A few days later, Rose quietly comes into the room to check on Sarah, closing the door behind her, which she rarely does. She leans over Sarah, who happened to be napping with Jax snuggled up next to her. Joel immediately moves to her side, his eyes glued to Rose. 

“I think we need to leave here.” She says it so quietly, Tommy almost thinks he heard her wrong, moving closer to hear her better. 

“Leave? Why?” Joel whispers back.

She glances towards the door and back at Joel. “I’ve heard…rumors. Quarantine zones-”

“Yeah, we have too,” Tommy cuts in. Joel glares at him, silently telling him to shut up.

“Yes, but I hear that once we’re all vetted, we won’t be able to leave.”

“What?” Tommy says out loud, Joel immediately shushing him.

Rose looks from Joel to Tommy and back. “Being locked in somewhere doesn’t sound good. Not with FEDRA running the place.”

“But wouldn’t it be safe for us? For the kids?” Joel asks, his eyebrows pulling up.

Rose is quiet for a moment. “I want to say yes, but really, I don’t know. FEDRA is already controlling this place, rationing out meager supplies and I know they pocket things for themselves. They’re scrambling and I don’t want an organization in panic mode to tell me what to do.”

Joel looks down at Sarah and Jax, still peacefully sleeping on the bed. He sighs, pushing some hair from Sarah’s face before looking back at Rose.

“So we have to leave.”

It takes them the rest of the week, but Joel and Tommy secure a car, big enough for them and some supplies. It should have enough gas to make it to the cabin, as Tommy and Joel went around siphoning gas from the surrounding cars to add to theirs. They carefully covered it with matching debris to hide it, crouching down and sneaking back under the fence to get more supplies that Rose had been tucking away all week. Medical supplies are already hard to come by and who knows what will be out there? 

Under cover of night, just after a month after the outbreak happened, Tommy, Jax, Joel, Sarah, and Rose sneak out through the hole in the fence and make their way to the stashed car, grateful that nothing bothered them en route. Mercifully, they make it out of the area mostly unscathed, only having to run over a few runners on the way out. Once they get around the parked city traffic and onto the back roads, it becomes smoother sailing, probably due to the lack of people. 

The closer they get to the cabin, the more nervous Tommy becomes. What if Daisy isn’t there? Would he really be able to leave Jax behind and go search for her? What if he never came back? Could he really live without Daisy? He gently pats the top of Jax’s head, which is currently in his lap, Sarah leaning on his shoulder completely passed out. 

The sun starts to rise when they pull down the hidden drive to the cabin, Tommy sitting up a little straighter, shifting Sarah to lean against her window and Jax against her. His eyes scan the ground for tire marks, but of course, there are none. Either Daisy was smart and covered them or the elements did. They turn a corner and the cabin comes into view, the shutters still on all of the windows, looking exactly as it had when they were here last. Tommy swallows hard, his heart is racing and he feels like he’s going to vomit, almost like he can feel hope leaving him. Joel parks the car and Tommy gets out, grabbing his gun and closing the door behind him. 

“I’ll check it out. You guys keep the kids safe. Anythin’ happens, just leave me. I’ll find you.” 

“Tommy-”

But Tommy doesn’t hear him. He doesn’t hear anything over the rush in his head, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he sees her emerge from the house, the love of his life. 

Daisy.

>>Chapter 7>>

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[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 8

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 5700+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I think this may be the penultimate chapter. I haven't decided if the last parts will make it into one longer chapter or 2. I also plan on doing some one shots later on. I think. Maybe. I just love these 2 so much!

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❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

I run. I run like I’ve never run before, throwing myself over the front steps and stumbling a little before colliding with him, Tommy, who pulls me so tight to his chest I might burst, my own arms scrambling to wrap around him. His hand comes up to cup the back of my head, his face buried in my hair as I nuzzle into his chest, soaking his shirt with my tears. He pulls back just a bit, cupping my face in both hands as his eyes take me in, tears pouring from his down his freckled cheeks.

“Are you really here?” I whisper, my fingers tracing his jawline as my other hand grips his shirt, pulling him closer. 

He smiles, giving me that chuckle I missed so fucking much and warmth spreads through me. “I am. And you’re here. You’re here.”

He pulls me to him and our lips meet, a sensation I had begun to think I’d never feel again. My fingers twist in his soft curls, a little longer than when I’d seen him last, his fingers tightening on my jaw, like he was afraid to let go.

But then a small voice calls my name and I break the kiss just as Jax hops out of the car, running straight for us, his little arms outstretched. I drop to the ground, my arms out wide and pull him in, his fingers clutching the back of my shirt as he openly cries loudly. 

“Mommy! Where were you?”

I choke back a sob, tears flowing harder. “I know. I’m sorry, baby. But daddy got you, right?”

He nods against me. “And Uncle Joel, and Sarah, and Rose. But mommy…You scared me. I miss you so much.”

The sob pours from my mouth and Tommy drops to the ground with us, pulling us both to his chest as his own tears fall onto his little family, finally together again.

“You were shot??” I look at Sarah, my mouth hanging open as she shrugs like it was nothing. 

“Yeah. It hurt like a bi-” she looks up at Joel who glares at her. “-I mean, it hurt a lot. But Rose was there. She saved my life.”

I look over at Rose, Joel pulling her into his side and kissing the top of her head. “Holy shit, Rose! Well, I don’t…I don’t even know how to thank you.”

She waves her hand, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. “Oh don’t worry. It was my pleasure. Plus, I think Joel has found plenty of ways to thank me.” He bumps her with his hip and mumbles something about there being kids in the room. 

“Well, thank you anyway. Have you all gotten enough to eat?” I look around and everyone nods, Sarah taking another sip of water. 

“Alright. Well, let me tell you about the cabin.” I tell them what I’ve done while I’ve waited, all about the greenhouse and cellar, the fishing nets that I made following a book Joel had brought here about homesteading. I did manage to snare a few rabbits that were in the freezer. I also ran through a little checklist regarding the solar panels and the best time to take a shower with the most hot water. They all perked up when I said that. 

“You have hot water?” Sarah asked.

I nod, smiling. “Yeah. Fresh towels are already in the bathrooms and clean sheets are on the beds. The only clothes are the ones you’d left here last time, though.”

Sarah stands up, halfway to the staircase before she yells over her shoulder. “I don’t even care. I’d walk around naked if it meant I could have a hot shower!”

“Sarah Miller!” Joel yells and Sarah giggles, carefully walking up the stairs, the bathroom door closing a few moments later.

Joel and Rose disappear into their room, their shower turning on a few moments later and we give Jax a bath in ours, letting him play in the bubbles for a while so he can feel at least a little normal. Once he’s done, we dry him off and dress him in his pajamas, stretching his little arms and yawning big. 

“Oh wait! I almost forgot! Look who wanted to come along!” I reach into my backpack and pull out-

“Rabby!” Jax yells and tugs him from my hands, hugging him as tight as he could.

“Bless you for that,” Tommy smiles. “He’s been asking for him several times a day.”

“Well we couldn’t go to the cabin without Rabby!”

Jax looks up at me. “Mommy? Can I still sleep by Sarah?”

“Oh. You want to? You know you can sleep by us, right?”

Jax nods. “Yeah. But I want to make sure Sarah ok. She is better but still hurt sometimes. I like to help her.”

I kneel to his level, pulling him in for a hug. “You’re such a good caretaker, Jax. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But-” I hold up my finger as he looks at me “-only if you promise we can cuddle for a long time tomorrow.”

He smiles and I swear he looks just like his dad. “Ok! I promise!” He throws his arms around me. “I love you, mommy.”

I hold him a little longer than normal, kissing the top of his head. “I love you too, bud.”

He gives Tommy a quick hug before throwing himself off the bed and running out of the door, only pausing a moment before sticking his head back in. “You tuck me in, mom?”

Once Jax is tucked in, and Sarah is comfortable, I head back into the bedroom, closing the door behind me. The shower is on and I see Tommy’s clothes in the laundry basket, his pant leg hanging off the side. Smiling, I tuck it into the basket and shed my own clothes, adding them to his pile before quietly opening the bathroom door. The room is a little steamy and I can just make out his dark hair behind the glass shower door panel. Quietly, I pop open the door, getting a clear view of his whole backside, my eyes lingering on his strong shoulders and round ass before I lean forward and pinch it, a yelp from him echoing across the bathroom as he spins on me. 

“Not fair!”

“How did I sneak up on you, Mr. Desert Storm?”

He pulls me in as I close the door behind me, pressing my body against his. He pushes my hair back from my face as the water soaks us, cradling my face. 

“Did you? Or did I let you sneak up on me just to feel your hand on my ass?”

I look fake shocked, slapping him on the shoulder. “Mr. Miller! Do you take me for some cheap date?”

He smiles, leaning in to kiss me, our lips barely touching. “Definitely not. You were expensive.”

He presses my back into the wall, capturing my lips with his before I can reply, one hand cradling my face and the other sliding down the side of my body to rest on my hip. His nose brushes mine when he changes angles, sucking my bottom lip in to take a nip. I can feel him hardening, but then the water starts to cool and I suddenly remember where we are.

“Tommy,” I breathe out, his lips trailing down my neck.

“Mmm?”

“We have to turn off the water. With all the showers, we can’t use that much hot water. The generator won’t last.”

He lets out a huff, kissing me briefly before turning off the water. He opens the shower door and steps out, turning to offer his hand to me. I take it, carefully stepping out on the bathmat, my skin pimpling as the cooler air hits it. Tommy reaches for our towels, holding mine out to me, but I don’t take it. Instead, I take his, moving close to him to dry him off. I start with his face, his beautiful face sprinkled with those freckles I love so damn much, his dark eyes on me. I run the towel over his hair a couple of times, opting to let it air dry as his curls always look so bouncy when he does that.

And then I move down, drying off his broad shoulders, down his arms, moving to his sides, pressing kisses to his chest after I’ve dried it off. I stare up at him innocently as I gently press the towel between his legs, using my other hand to secure his erection while I dry him off, his lips parting to puff out air onto my face. Holding his gaze, I drop to my knees, drying off his legs. My tongue darts out and I give him a lick, a small  “Fuck,” grunted out from above. But then he’s pulling me up, pressing his lips to mine. I drop the towel, my arms wrapping around his neck, fingers winding into his wet curls. He breaks the kiss with a quiet moan, holding up the towel still clutched in his hand.

He says nothing, drying my face, planting a kiss on my nose. I giggle and steal a quick kiss, loving the smile I get in return. He moves on to my hair, wringing out the excess water before moving down to my chest. He gently grazes the soft towel over my nipples, my breathing picks up, feeling him slide his hand under the towel to squeeze my other nipple. Then he starts to move down my stomach, reaching the towel between my legs. He grips my chin with his other hand, making me look up at him as he moves the towel slowly over my cunt, sliding his finger down me, the towel pressed between us. It feels so good but I just want to feel him, his skin. But then he presses a finger to my clit and I gasp, his grip on my chin tightening slightly to hold my gaze. His nose brushes mine as he swirls around me, gliding his nose across my skin. He pulls back enough to look at me, his pupils blown wide with lust. 

He drops the towel, gripping my thighs and lifts me, my legs coming up to wrap around him as he pushes open the bathroom door. He kisses me, lips and tongue pressing into mine as he walks me over to the bed, gently laying me down as he hovers over me, settling himself between my legs. He lifts his head slightly, his eyes scanning my face, a soft look in them as he takes me in. He gently brushes some hair from my face before he slowly pushes inside of me, my mouth opening in a silent moan. He’s always stretched me, pushed me to my limits but tonight it’s different. I never thought I’d see him again, feel him again, have him split me open and pull me back together, the love surging between us. 

But he’s here, sliding into place and reaching spots only he ever has. His eyes are still on my face, a smile gently tugging at the corners of his mouth as he slowly pulls out and back in, watching me writhe and moan under him. His lips softly press to mine before starting a path down my jaw, gliding over to my neck, and sucking on that spot that leaves me breathless, gasping his name as he rolls his hips into me, an extra hard and slow thrust when he’s already buried deep. My nails dig into the skin on his back, trying to ground myself here, tell him I want to stay here forever, the warmth between my thighs quickly heating. His lips still on my neck, his hand finds mine, lacing our fingers together as he presses my hand into the bed, slightly above and to the side of my head. His other hand slides down my body, tracing a circular pattern in my skin before grabbing my leg, hooking it over his hip as he adds another deep thrust. My body tenses, standing on the edge as he pulls out, his head lifting from my neck to watch my face, pushing in and thrusting hard and deep. I break, unable to stop the stream of whines coming from me, his name a whisper on my lips, a chant, a prayer as he works me through it, my body like a live wire. My breathing levels out, I feel my lips curling into a smile when my eyes find his, his brow pulled together in concentration, like he was waiting for me. I cup his face and meet his gaze, his hips picking up slightly in speed as he thrusts into me a few more times, his mouth opening, head pushing back as he whines, little whimpers as he spills inside of me, his neck straining with the force of his release. Fuck he’s so beautiful when he comes, a sight I will never tire of. 

He drops his forehead to mine, both of us breathing together for several minutes. I trace patterns on his back, scratching lightly, loving the feel of him on and in me. But eventually, Tommy sits up, pulling out of me with a hiss and a groan before cleaning us both up. He comes back to bed, completely naked, and slides in next to me, pulling me to his chest, but not before kissing me, his nose sliding against mine. 

“I love you so much, Tommy.”

“Not as much as I love you, darlin’.”

I wake to sound of little feet running up and down the hallway, Sarah’s voice trailing after him as she follows him downstairs. I hear noise from the kitchen and I know they’re grabbing some cereal, Jax thinking he’s being sneaky about it.

I turn my head, my eyes landing on my husband’s sleeping face and for several long moments, I just watch him. The way the dim light from the lamp hits his face, the freckles sprinkles across his cheeks and nose, the soft rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps. His lips are slightly parted, small breaths puffing out from between them and I just…how is he this gorgeous? This handsome? How did I get this lucky? Not just in meeting him and being his friend and eventually starting our family but for him and our son to have survived whatever the fuck was happening? Everything goes to shit but I get to keep my little family.

I reach out to push back a stray curl from his face, sighing as I watch him a little longer. Leaning forward, I press light kisses to his face and his nose, Tommy starting to stir from the attention. He blinks awake, looking around worried for a moment before his eyes land on mine, his dark ones momentarily robbing me of my breath. He reaches out and cups my face, rubbing his thumb along my cheek.

“You’re real?” His voice is laced with sleep, but his eyebrows pull together like he’s worried I’ll fade away. I put my hand over his and squeeze, smiling back at him. 

“I’m real. Are you?”

He pulls me to him, our lips gently meeting as he holds me, his tongue slipping easily into my eager mouth, moaning when I wrap my leg around his waist. 

“Mrs. Miller, I do believe you’re naked,” he smiles into my lips.

“You know, I think you’re right.”

He rolls me onto my back and I giggle as he nips at my neck. “You should really put clothes on, darlin’. Someone might take advantage.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what I’m hoping for.”

“Mommy! Daddy is showing me fishing!” Jax clings to his tiny fishing pole that we had bought him the last time we were here, stashing it as a surprise for Joel’s weekend birthday trip that didn’t turn out the way we planned.

“Will you catch us some dinner?” I ask him, kneeling to his level to straighten his jacket.

He nods furiously. “I will, mommy!”

Tommy walks in the kitchen behind Jax, another pole clutched in his hand, Sarah following close behind carrying a tackle box. 

“If Joel wants to join us, we’ll be down at the lake catching dinner.”

“You didn’t let him know you were going?”

He drops his voice so only we could hear, Sarah moving to show Jax the tackle box. “Not with the sounds I could hear coming from their room.”

“Gotcha. Well if you bring home dinner, maybe we could give them some competition.” 

His eyes darken and he shifts the things he’s holding to pull me in close. “That’s a deal.” He kisses me and Jax giggles, holding up a fake wiggling worm.

A couple hours goes by before Rose comes down to the kitchen to get some water from the fridge. She looks at me and shifts herself, trying to hide the marks on her neck. I smirk and offer her a high five, which she takes. “Get it, girl.”

She goes back upstairs and I finish putting together the picnic basket, heading out back to walk the small path through the trees down to the lake. I can hear Jax’s laughter before I see them, ringing through the trees. At the end of the path I stop, watching them sit at the edge of the water, the dock not having been fully completed yet. Tommy is holding up a real wiggling worm and Jax is absolutely fascinated by the fact that Sarah wants nothing to do with the real worm, laughing whenever she jumps when the worm gets too close. 

“It’s just a worm, Sarah!” Jax manages to get out between giggles.

“It’s too wriggly!” She squeals as Tommy turns towards her, Jax erupting into another fit of giggles. But when they turn to the water, I see Sarah reach into the bucket and take out a real worm of her own, quickly hooking it on the end of her pole and moving to her place to cast. I really love this kid.

Tommy kneels next to Jax, holding his little arms and telling him what to do, how to pull the pole back and when to release, the little Mickey Mouse pole looking so small in his hands. Which puts a whole other series of images in my head of exactly how large those hands are. I let them be for another minute before walking up to them.

“Lunch time!”

That winter brought us some snow, of which Jax was thrilled. Fortunately, we had stashed some winter coats and gear here the first time we’d come and they still fit. Mostly. Jax would definitely need a new one. 

When spring finally came, Jax started begging both Tommy and Joel to finish the deck so they could go out fishing. Sarah joined in the begging simply because she wanted to jump off the deck and do backflips into the lake. Whatever they said worked because one day, about a week later, Tommy and Joel came downstairs dressed in jeans and loose fitting shirts. Joel moved around the kitchen island to the fridge, talking shop to Tommy who stopped behind the barstool I was sitting on, placing one hand on either side of me on the counter, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of my head, his chest pressed against my back.

“Shit, I forgot something,” Joel grumbles as he stomps off towards the garage, the sounds of clanking quieting when the door closes behind him. 

Tommy’s hand leaves the counter, wrapping around me and holding me to him, while his other hand snakes down the front of my shirt, grabbing one of my boobs. 

“Sir. There are children in the house.” He pinches my nipple in response and I gasp. 

“They’re already outside,” he speaks low in my ear, his nose nudging my hair aside as he kisses at my neck.

“Get a room,” Joel grunts out as he comes back in, noticing Tommy’s hand down my shirt. 

“Sounds good to me. Let’s go, Daisy.”

“Not until you’re done with the deck, asshole,” Joel chuckles, grabbing the box of tools and heading towards the door. 

Tommy groans as he removes his hand from my shirt. “Guess that’s my cue. I’d much rather hammer your deck,” His eyes are twinkling and I would beg him to take me here if it wasn’t for the kids running around just past the windows.

“You build that deck and we can do whatever you want.”

“You’re a menace, Mrs. Miller.” He kisses me and then heads outside, meeting up with Joel as Jax and Sarah chase after them. 

A short bit later, Rose comes downstairs wearing one of Joel’s shirts, a slight limp to her walk. She gets a glass of water and stands across from me at the kitchen island, taking several gulps before putting the glass down and wiping her lips. 

“Good night?” I smirk.

She flushes but nods. “You could say that.”

“You wanna go oggle our men while they build shit?”

“Hell yes.”

So Rose and I make a little cooler with drinks for everyone and some snacks for the kids and head outside, Rose grabbing a few folding chairs and an umbrella on the way. We get to the water and set everything up, chairs opened, cooler between us, and drinks in hand as we sit on the chairs, watching Tommy and Joel converse and gesture between some of the poles submerged in the water. On the first run of spring, they managed to score some wading gear so they had on these ridiculous looking pants with boots, but at least it was keeping them dry. 

Rose and I, however, were definitely not dry.

Tommy and Joel stopped for a moment to wipe their brows and then decided to shed their shirts, tossing them towards Jax who eagerly tried to catch them and put them on the ground. My eyes roamed my husband’s body, his olive skin glistening with sweat and water, his chest heaving as he catches his breath. Then he reaches for a tool of some kind, which I couldn’t care less about, but fuck do his muscles move under it, bending and twisting with his movement and I push my legs together quickly, catching Tommy smirking when he caught a glimpse of me watching him.

“Do…do you think it could be uh, movie night? For the kids? Tonight?” Rose speaks to me but her eyes are glued to Joel. 

“Movie night?” Mine are still on Tommy, who is now trying to torture me by stretching his arms above his head. 

“Y-yeah. Might be a good…”

“A good…what?”

“Huh?”

“Movie night?”

“Oh right. Um a good…distraction. For the kids.”

“Oh, that sounds good. Let’s make it kids only so it’s special for them.”

“How ever will we pass the time?”

2 years later…

“And this one is yarrow. Good for fevers. The harvest is actually looking pretty good this year.” Rose fusses over several groups of small flowers, some white and some yellow, mumbling to herself as she does. 

“Are they ready to pick?” Sarah asks curiously.

“I believe so. Here, let me show you both how.”

Shortly after they arrived, Rose asked me if she could have some space in the greenhouse to grow some herbs and plants for holistic medicine, to which I enthusiastically agreed. She spent the better part of the year foraging what she could, or showing Joel and Tommy what they looked like in that book of herbalism she had left in the cabin so they could keep an eye out for it when they go on runs. They never go far or often, but every once in a while we need something that we can’t produce ourselves. And now Rose has taken to showing Sarah and I exactly how to grow, harvest, and dry the plants, as well as what they’re used for and how to use them. When I had asked her why a surgeon cared about holistic medicine, she shrugged and said “It works.”

Sarah followed her around asking a ton of questions and I gave them their space. I listened, taking mental notes and actual ones, but honestly, I love how close Sarah and Rose had gotten. Almost like a mother and daughter. Which makes sense, now that Joel and Rose had gotten married. Or as close as married we can get.

2 years later…

“Where are you taking me?” I stumble again and Tommy grabs me, helping me step over a root I had tripped over. 

“Not much further.”

“Jax will wonder where we’ve gone.”

“He’s 7 now. He’ll be fine. Besides, he was in on it.”

“You teamed up?”

“Yup.”

“Traitors.”

Tommy chuckles. “We’ll see.”

We walk for what feels like miles, but really is probably only about a half mile from the main cabin. Tommy stops walking and grabs my shoulders, walking around to stand behind me. 

“Ready?”

I nod and he unties the blindfold. I blink rapidly a few times, adjusting to the light but when I finally can focus, I see a campsite. A little 2 bedroom tent has been set up, a small campfire that’s already going with a hanging little cauldron above it that has the most amazing smell coming from it, 2 camping chairs with a cooler between them, and a blanket spread on the ground. There’s a small slope down the hill and we can see the water from the campsite and, assuming I have my position correct, we will be able to have a gorgeous view of the sunset. 

“Tommy, this is…I don’t know what to say!”

He wraps his arms around me from behind, pulling me into his chest, kissing the side of my head. “So you like it?”

“Like it? This is gorgeous Tommy! I - how long have you been planning this?”

He chuckles next to my ear, sending goosebumps down that side of my body. “A while. I found a calendar and did a little math and figured out our wedding anniversary is sometime around now. And we never really got to celebrate it since…well, since.”

Since the outbreak.

I turn in his arms, slipping my fingers through a couple of his belt loops and hold him to me, my eyes meeting his. “I love you, Tommy. So much. This is…this is amazing.”

“I love you too, darlin’.”

He leans down to kiss me, sliding his tongue into my willing mouth almost immediately. We make out for a moment before I place my hands on his chest, pushing him back slightly. 

“I have to ask - what’s in the cauldron?”

He smiles and I swear it gets lighter. “My famous vegetable soup!”

My eyes open wide. “No way. Really? You found everything?”

He nods. “Yeah. I’ve been lookin’ for some stuff when we go on runs. We have most everything else here. I know how much you love it so I thought I’d save that surprise for this special occasion.”

“How long until it’s ready?”

“Hhm..let me check.” He lets go of me and stands by the cauldron, grabbing the mitt to move it off the fire so he can look inside, mixing it a little with a big spoon. “Looks ready now. You hungry?”

“Fuck yeah.”

The soup was delicious, even with a couple of missing ingredients, the perfect thing to warm us up. It’s not super cold but it will be once the sun starts to set. Tommy had even baked some bread without me knowing and damn this man can bake too. Once we’re finished, he walks the dishes down to the lake and rinses them in the water since we won’t need them anymore and tucks them in a bag. When he’s done, he walks up to me and extends his hand to me.

“Come watch the sunset with me?”

“I’d love to.” I take his hand and he pulls me up, walking me over to the blanket he had spread out with a clear view of the setting sun. He sits, kicking off his boots as he does, and beckons me to him as he reaches for a thick blanket. I kick off my boots and sit next to him, tucking myself into his side as he covers us with the blanket and wraps his arm around my shoulder. For a bit, we just sit and watch the sun set, the wind lightly blowing through the trees, the animals doing their nighttime routine. It’s peaceful. One can almost forget about…everything. As the sun sinks behind the line of trees, Tommy turns to me, hooking his finger under my chin to turn my head up to him.  

“I love you, Daisy.”

“I love you, Tommy.”

He kisses me, soft at first but as his tongue slips in, his need grows, adding to the fire that’s rising in my belly. He lays me back, slotting himself above me and settles between my open legs. His lips kiss a path down my neck and find that spot behind my ear that makes me whine his name. I feel him grinding against me as I try to wrap my legs around him, but he grabs my thigh, preventing me from doing it. He slides down my body, eyes looking up at me until he reaches my pants. He pops open the button on my jeans with practiced ease, quickly hooking his fingers into my belt loops and pulling down, bringing my panties with them. I lift my hips to help, thankful I’d already kicked my boots off as Tommy shimmies my pants down and off, exposing me to the cool air as he sets them down on the blanket. He looks up at me, a smirk sliding into place.

“You can be as loud as you want to, darlin’.”

And before I can say anything, he pushes my legs apart, holding them with his broad shoulders, dipping his head between my legs, nibbling at my inner thigh while lightly tracing around where I want him desperately to be. He teases me for several moments, chuckling when my please grow louder before finally giving in, sliding his tongue around me, in me, sucking, nipping, licking, and moaning into me as I come, his name tumbling from my lips as my thighs try to close but remain in place by his broad shoulders. My fingers twist in his curls and I hold him to me, Tommy dragging out my orgasm by pulling another almost immediately. My fingers relax in his hair and he lifts his head, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, his grin wide and bright.

“Feel good, darlin’?”

I nod, finally catching my breath. “I’ll feel even better when you’re inside me.”

“Yes ma’am.”

He helps me take off my top, shedding his own clothes as well before grabbing my wrists, pinning them above me as he pushes in, a soft “fuck” coming from him as he settles, my body forming to his. His hips are slow and methodic, pushing deep inside of me, pulling a leg over his hip to get even closer, deeper, pushing at the back of me as I writhe under him, moaning and gasping when he hits a spot just right. His hips snap, hitting that same spot hard and faster and my body tenses, my release pushing from every part of me as I come, screaming his name for the world to hear, begging him for more when I come down, more closeness, more him. And he obliges, pulling out and flipping me over, his fingers digging into my hips as I push them back, my release making it easy for him to push in quickly, setting a rapid pace that hits me at new angles. He grunts and whimpers, his hips slamming into me before pulling me up to his chest, my hands gripping his forearm wrapped around me as we both come, breathing heavy and smiling when we come down. 

We don’t bother getting dressed as we head in the tent, setting our clothes off to the side as we crawl into a double sleeping bag that Tommy had picked up on one of their runs. He wraps himself around me and I push into him, cuddling for a while before we make good use of that sleeping bag.

1 year later…

“Perfect kick, Jax!” Sarah yells to him as she stops the soccer ball with her foot, Jax fist pumping the air with excitement. 

“I’ve been practicing!”

“And it shows! Let’s go again.”

Sarah had been showing Jax how to play soccer, officially, as she says, for the better part of a year. As best as she can without an entire team, but Jax takes it seriously, wanting to impress his cousin with his maneuvers.

Rose and I are sitting on the back patio, taking a short break from gardening to watch the kids. I take another sip of the delicious lemonade Rose had made with the lemons we had grown in the greenhouse. It’s not as sweet as I’d like it to be, but it’s a delicious treat. I’m laughing at a story she’s telling me when the sliding door rips open and Joel’s voice booms out. 

“Everyone inside. Now.”

There’s an edge to it, one I don’t like. This isn’t a drill and the kids sense it too, immediately stopping and running into the house, Joel closing and locking the door behind us, the shutters already closing. 

“Joel?” Rose questions but he shakes his head. 

“Get into your spots.”

“Which spots?”

Tommy walks up, handing Joel 2 guns from the back room, handing another to me, his eyes large and worried.

“The ones for raiders.”

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @booksarekindaneat @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry @mysterious-moonstruck-musings  

#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters character fanfic #gabriel luna character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly Masterlist

A random encounter at a bar with Tommy Miller gives you your best friend. One night he suggests a new benefit to your friendship and you can't help but agree, knowing that you'll fall even deeper for your best friend. An unexpected arrival changes your friendship, but how? Will it bring you closer together or further apart? And what happens later, when the world starts to fall apart?

Tommy Miller x f!reader (nickname Daisy)

Overall rating: M for mature themes. 18+ only! Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters #gabriel luna character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 7

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 4000+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This chapter is back to reader/Daisy’s pov

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

&lt;<;Chapter 6<<

Outbreak Day: Daisy

I snuggled into bed after tucking Jax in, fully intending on reading my book until Tommy came home. It shouldn’t be too much longer, depending on how well the Rivieras can hold their liquor. But after a couple of chapters, I was actively fighting on keeping my eyes open, a day of packing and chasing Jax around finally catching up to me. I set the book on my stomach, closing my eyes to just rest a moment…

A blood curdling scream from outside rips me from my sleep and I jerk myself awake, heart racing and frozen in place while I try to listen for more, my hand automatically feeling for Tommy in the bed next to me, but feeling cool sheets and no Tommy. In the distance, I can hear some light commotion but I can’t quite place it. I quickly get out of bed, grab the wireless phone off its stand on the side table and pop my head into Jax’s room, finding him still asleep. I dial Tommy quickly, but when I put the phone to my ear, all I hear is beeping. I hang up, putting the phone to my ear before dialing this time and hear the same sound. Which means the phones are down. 

Fuck. 

I head downstairs quietly, ears on full alert for the slightest sound or movement as I grab my cell phone and unplug the charger. It’s fully charged but it too has no signal. This is not good. Landlines and cell signals cut? 

I move to the living room and switch on the tv, colored lines reflecting in my eyes as channel after channel alternates between colored lines and displaying the same emergency message:

NATIONAL ALERT

PRIMARY ENTRY POINT SYSTEM

ISSUED AN

EMERGENCY ACTION

NOTIFICATION

“...indoors. Law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions….Stay indoors. Law enforcement-”

I switch off the tv, fully awake and alert now. What the fuck was going on? Are we being invaded? And where’s Tommy? 

I hear more sounds outside, car doors slamming and helicopters moving about in the distance and it jerks me into gear. Tommy had taught me some basic things to do in case we had to get out fast, in case of an invasion or something else. I don’t know all of what he saw when he served overseas but he said it was good to always be prepared, just in case. 

Thankfully, our bags were already packed, suitcases and backpacks against the hall wall waiting to be put into Tommy’s truck. I dashed into the kitchen and packed a bit more food than I had initially intended, tossing some extra filled water bottles into a tote and setting it down by the backpacks. I quickly went upstairs and changed into jeans and a shirt, grabbing one of Tommy’s flannels and sliding my arms into it, trying to at least get some comfort from his scent. Hair pulled back to keep it from my face, I lace up my shoes, trying to tell myself this would all be for nothing, that it was really a test and Tommy would be coming home any moment to tell me everything was fine. Another quick glance at Jax shows me he’s still asleep and I let him sleep for now. There’s not really a reason to wake him until I’m certain we have to move. I toss an extra outfit of jeans and a shirt in his backpack just in case he can’t change before we head out, an extra pair of shoes stuffed in a bag on top of his clothes. 

It’s when I head downstairs to wait for Tommy that I hear it again, that scream that sets my entire body on high alert, nerves coursing at their full fight or flight. 

I move to the front window and slide the curtain back just enough to peek outside, hearing crashing coming from next door. I can’t quite make it out, but it looks like Mr. Johnson is attacking Mrs. Johnson? No, that can’t be right. But then they move into the streetlight, Mrs. Johnson’s scream ringing out again and that’s definitely the one I heard and Mr. Johnson is definitely not behaving right. 

Without thinking, I grab the baseball bat near the door and open it, stepping out into the yard and quickly sneak up on the couple, Mr. Johnson having pinned Mrs. Johnson to the ground. He’s hunched over her, an odd wheezing sound coming from him. He seems to sense me, his body stiffening and when his head turns towards me…what the fuck is that coming from his mouth? Before he can move I swing, my bat landing its target square in the face, Mr. Johnson flying back and laying still on the ground. Carefully, I walk over to them, glancing over at Mr. Johnson who’s face was definitely smashed in from my swing. Fuck, I didn’t mean to kill him! 

But then I hear gurgling from Mrs. Johnson and I look down at her, seeing the exact moment when the light leaves her eyes. She’s still for a moment, the sounds of car tires screeching and helicopters flying overhead getting a little louder. Then her body jerks inhumanely, and I back up quickly, gripping the bat tighter in my hand. As she sits up, she turns her head to me and I can see the same whatever the fuck coming out of her mouth just like Mr. Johnson and my entire body yells “JAX! GET JAX AND GO!”

So I do. I turn and run as fast as I can back to my house, hearing screeching and feet pounding the cement behind me, Mrs. Johnson chasing me back to the house. I try to slam the door closed but she’s there, bouncing off of it, scrambling to push it open and I don’t wait, running down the hall and throwing everything I can reach in her way, even chucking the bat at her head. It seems to slow her down just enough for me to take the stairs 3 at a time, launching myself into Jax’s room and slamming the door shut and locking it, putting my back against the door as Mrs. Johnson screeches and pounds at the door from the other side. Jax is sitting up in bed, wide eyed and afraid and it kills me I can’t move to him, to comfort him and shield him from whatever horror is happening. 

“Hey buddy!” I’m struggling with the door but I have to get him safe.

“Mommy?”

“Listen, Jax. I need you to play a game for me, ok? I need you to get in your favorite hiding spot.”

“Mommy, who’s knocking on the door?”

I dig my heels into the floor, pushing my back harder against the door as Mrs. Johnson continues to pound into it. 

“Don’t worry about that, little man. I need you to hide. Can you do that for me? Be silent and wait for me, daddy, or Uncle Joel to come get you. If you do, you win.”

He’s still scared but can sense my urgency and nods while hopping out of bed. “Ok, mommy. Hug first?”

Tears fall down my cheeks and I hope he can’t see them. “Not right now, bud. I really need you to hide and not come out for anything other than daddy or Uncle Joel. Can you do that now, please?”

He studies me for a moment before nodding. “Ok mommy.” He moves to his closet, getting inside and closing the door behind him. I hear him rummaging around, going deep into his favorite hiding place and I pray to whatever is listening that he will stay there, stay safe. Even if….even if I don’t come back. 

“Ready bud?” A quiet, muffled “Yes” meets my ears and I choke back a sob. “Ok baby, remember to stay silent, ok? No matter what. Until Daddy or Uncle Joel comes for you. And remember…. I love you bud.”

“I love you too, mommy.”

The sob gets stuck in my throat as Mrs. Johnson heaves herself against the wood of the door. I take a deep breath and open the door, letting Mrs. Johnson clamber into the room, falling onto the floor with the force of her movements. While she’s trying to get up, I grab Jax’s Rangers bat from where it hangs on the wall, my eyes never leaving Mrs. Johnson as she growls and launches herself at me. I push her back with the bat but damn she’s strong, what I can only describe as tendrils coming from her open mouth as if they’re trying to reach out to me. I push her back and she stumbles, hitting the floor and I turn, running out of the door and making a lot of noise as I do. She follows me without hesitation, falling down the stairs but clambering up more quickly than someone her age should do. She chases me around the kitchen island and I pull out all the drawers, knocking everything off the counter onto the floor or at her as she runs after me, growling and screeching. I manage to make it past her and back out the front door, quickly glancing around before running to the backyard of our other neighbor’s house. 

Mrs. Johnson bounces back up, running full out after me as I run through 2, 3, 4, 5 backyards, eventually spilling back out onto the street, other people now outside throwing things into cars. New screeches join the one coming from behind me and I run the opposite way down the street, making sure to stay out of the streetlights. I get behind a car and squat down, turning to look where I came from. Mrs. Johnson had chased me for another block down this street, but then a man emerged from the house across that street and she changed course, lunging after him as he screamed, sounds of a scuffle coming from inside his house. 

I take a moment, my chest heaving, trying to catch my breath before glancing around. I’m about 3 blocks from our house and I have a choice to make: I can either take the streets, which will be brighter to see by but definitely have a higher chance of running into those…things. Or I can take the backyards, infinitely darker but less likely to run into whatever they are. I hope. 

I decide on the latter, taking a couple of deep breaths before glancing around. Seeing no one paying me any mind, I run, back through a few backyards before reaching the end of my street. I turn to duck into the backyard but a movement catches my eye and I’m able to quickly turn as a man falls past me, growling, outstretched hands just barely missing me. I run again, in the opposite direction of my house, trying to keep him away from Jax at least, the man chasing me as I run down the street. The cramp in my side is making me slow, reverberating pain shooting out into the rest of my ribs and I know I can’t keep this up. I spot a semi-truck without its trailer and I head for it, getting a running leap and praying I make it. I manage to get high enough up on the front to pull myself up quickly, but then a hand shoots out and grabs my ankle. I quickly kick out, knocking the man in the face and he goes down, pulling me with him. My back hits the pavement and the air whooshes from my lungs, momentarily stunning me. My vision swims but then he’s on me, his face leaning towards mine, tendrils reaching for me and I put my arms out, and push against him, gluing my mouth shut as he pushes closer to me. Then my hands land on a rock and I grip it, slamming it into the side of his head. He slides off me sideways and I raise the rock again, sitting up and slamming it into his head over and over until he stops moving.

Fuck I hope this doesn’t infect via blood. I really, really hope it doesn’t. 

I don’t have time to think about it, my sole focus on getting back to Jax and getting him safe. Even if that means I have to…get rid of myself. 

I stand up, glancing around and figuring out where I am, silently moving back towards my house through the backyards, listening closely for any sounds of movement. Thank God I run into no one else, moving around the front of my house and heading inside. I really made a mess in here but hopefully that deters anyone else from coming in. Not that those things really care. I go upstairs and see Jax’s door still open from when Mrs. Johnson chased me out, what feels like days ago. But then I see Jax’s closet door cracked open and it definitely wasn’t open when I left. 

“Jax? Jax, it’s Mommy

. Are you still there?” I open the door, holding my breath, tears silently flowing down my cheeks and burning my eyes, praying that I don’t find him here, hurt. But then…he’s not here. I look around the rest of his room. No Jax. 

“Jax?” I yell out of his bedroom door, my voice echoing around the upstairs. Nothing. No noise, no movement. I check every room to be sure but find nothing. I’m freaking out, no idea if Tommy or Joel came back and got him or…or. 

I can’t think about the or.

I stand in my destroyed kitchen, debating on what to do next, when my eyes land on the table, my backpack on it. Which is definitely not where I left it. I quickly walk over to it, shifting it slightly and that’s when I notice the piece of paper on it with his handwriting. 

Tommy’s.

Hey Darlin’,

We’ve got Jax and Sarah. We’re heading to the cabin. We’ll meet you there.

Please be safe. I love you.

Tommy

I clutch the paper and hold it to my chest for several moments, allowing the tears to freely flow as I hold on to the hope that this letter brought me. He’s safe. Jax is safe with his dad. Joel and Sarah too. I wonder if they found Rose…. 

Snapping my eyes open, I shake my head to clear it of my emotions, carefully folding the note and sliding it into my pocket. I quickly run upstairs and pop into Jax’s room, quickly grabbing his favorite stuffed bunny from his bed where he laid unpacked and forgotten in the hustle to get to safety.

I toss the luggage into my trunk, grabbing my backpack last and tossing it into the passenger seat. I take one last quick glance around, grabbing some photos from the fridge before I manually open the garage door, hopping into the driver’s seat and locking the door and my clicking my seatbelt into place. At the end of my driveway I look back to my house, our house, and allow 1 tear to shed down my cheek as I pull away from the only house that had truly been my home. 

I had to re-route myself several times trying to get to the back highway that would eventually lead to the cabin we’d purchased a year or so ago. It seems like a lifetime away with all that’s happened in the last few hours. I stop for no one, my only goal to make it to the cabin to my family. Then we can go from there. 

Miraculously, I make it to the nearly hidden drive without a hitch, grateful Tommy had taken us on several back roads so I was more familiar with alternate routes. I hadn’t seen another car or person in at least 2 hours, but that was normal. Most people had closed up their cabins for season after Labor Day, and no one really went down this road aside from random homesteaders or a handful of farmers. I wonder if they’re ok. 

I nearly miss the turnoff, stopping quickly and backing up a little to turn between the brush, branches, and twigs snapping at my car. I make the final curve and the cabin pops into view, looking exactly like it had when we left it last. 

No lights. No truck. 

No Tommy. 

I turn off the car, staring at the cabin for several minutes, but nothing happens. No one is here. Or at least, no one noticed I am here. Or made a move about it. Well, there was only one thing to do. I took a deep breath and got out, moving around towards the trunk and getting out the crowbar stashed by the spare tire. I grip it and head towards the cabin, eyes scanning everything to sense movement. I quietly try to turn the handle on the front door, but it remains locked. Sliding the key from my pocket, hands shaking I push it into the lock, hearing the little click it makes as it opens the door. I push it open and stand back, just in case. But the house is still and silent as I poke my head around the corner. I move throughout the cabin, checking all of the rooms. No one is here and, by the looks of it, no one has been here since we were here last. He’s supposed to be here, with Jax, with Joel and Sarah and maybe Rose. Where are they?

The cabin is quiet, eerily silent and I try not to let panic envelop me. They could have had to reroute like me. Maybe they ran out of gas and have to go on foot? I didn’t pass anyone but they could be behind me. Or hiding from the main road. Because regular people were behaving almost worse than those things. 

I jump into action, quickly unloading my car into the cabin and parking it in the garage. I take the outside broom, and the shotgun Tommy had kept here, and walk down to the end of the nearly hidden drive, sweeping the tire tracks from the drive. This will help to keep this place hidden, and it’s far enough away from the road that even if all the lights were on and it was dark outside, no one could see us tucked away in the trees. A couple hours later my tracks are hidden and I’ve checked the power grid how Tommy showed me, grateful as fuck to the Joneses for wanting a fully off the grid place and having most of that installed before they sold it to us for practically nothing. I leave the fancy electric metal window coverings on the windows, changing nothing of the cabin’s outward appearance. People were nuts and, as of this moment, I am a woman, completely alone in the middle of nowhere. 

Alone.

Everything locked up and lights dimly on, I quickly take a shower and again, thank the Joneses mentally for the solar power they hooked up so I could take this shower and have some light. After, I unpacked our suitcases, hesitating over Jax’s clothes. He usually sleeps in the 3rd bedroom with Sarah. She was officially going to let him have the top bunk this weekend and he was so excited. I start to cry then, pulling out all of his tiny clothes and, instead, folding them and setting them on shelves in our closet. I can always move them into the spare room if he wants it. It’s when I reach Tommy’s suitcase, opening it and getting a whiff of his cologne, his scent permeating my brain that I lose it, officially. Grabbing a shirt of Jax’s and Tommy’s, I lay on the floor and cry, huge heaving sobs until I fall asleep there, clutching each of their shirts to my chest. 

They don’t turn up the next day. Or the next. I try to keep myself busy so I pull out all of the bed sheets, fluff them out and put them on the beds. I dust, cleaning everything that was already clean. I take out all of the food I’d brought with me, along with some sustainable things we already had there and take stock. I do the same with the medicine cabinet and first aid kits. Hell, I even dig out the sewing kit and fix the tiny tear on the side of the couch. But by the end of that first week, I could no longer find anything to do inside, my nerves leaving me jumpy at every gust of the wind.

So I go outside. I check over the greenhouse and the root cellar, making note that the self watering system seems to have worked on most of the vegetable plants. Reading my gardening journal, I see that I should plant some things soon, so I pull out my little box of seeds and get to work, planting what needs done both in the greenhouse and the root cellar. This takes me nearly another full week, as I decided to clean it up a bit and reorganize things.

2 weeks and still nothing. No one. 

I wasn’t running out of food per say, but I knew adding 5 more mouths to feed would bring us to the end of our stores pretty quick. So I tried my hand at fishing, which was not really my forte. I did manage to catch a couple, but I would need a lot more than a couple small/medium fish. Well, practice makes at least better, which is what I tell myself as I work at it for the next few days, eventually getting a little better and finding a better spot to fish from. I had found a homesteading book on the shelf that showed me how to prepare fish, so I followed that and froze a bunch, hoping this would at least help when they showed up. 

I never strayed far from the cabin, afraid that if I did, they would show up and leave, assuming I wasn’t there. I didn’t want to miss them again and every time I thought about how I had missed them back in Austin, I wanted to cry and scream and throw things. I really wasn’t sure what to do other than what I was doing - preparing and waiting. I had no idea where they were, or if they were… no, they were alive. I could feel it. But even if I wanted to go find them, where would I start? The more I thought on this, the less I knew, driving every possible route in my head but nothing with a clear path to finding them. 

5 weeks. Well, almost 5 weeks. Still alone. 

His scent is fading from his clothes, the flannel I kept with me and hold at night barely smelling like him. I had put others in storage bags, hoping that I would only have to pull them out to give them to Jax and Tommy and not just so I could smell them and feel, just for a moment, like they are here. 

I pull Tommy’s flannel top tighter around me, shifting the covers a little higher on my shoulders when I hear it - an engine. 

I sit bolt upright, my ears straining to listen to what was obviously getting closer. I hadn’t heard anything since I came here, not even a truck passing on the road. I hop out of bed and quickly grab the shotgun, my heart racing along with my brain, the many possibilities of who is out there swirling around enough to drive me crazy. I shake my head a little and look out of the peep hole in the front door. A car pulls up slowly, not one I recognize. The sun was just rising, not enough light to see inside the vehicle. If it were bad people, surely they would’ve brought a truck? Maybe not. But then the side door opens, and a mop of black curls gets out of the backseat and my heart stops, breath seizing my lungs as the person straightens out, gripping a shotgun in his hands as he turns towards the cabin and a sob ripples through me as I rip open the door, standing there for a moment in utter shock as my eyes lay on him. My other half, the love of my life.

Tommy.

>>Chapter 8>>

General Taglist:

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#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters character fanfic #gabriel luna character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

The Deal

Pairing: Joel Miller x Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 6500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Look, I just had a thought and this happened. Don’t come at me. Huge thanks to @vanemando15 for reading this over and telling me I wasn’t insane for it. 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Joel Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

--------

7 years ago, the world went to hell. Infection spread overnight and everyone I knew was turned, some trying to attack me, throwing up as I escaped.

Do they know what they’re doing? God I hope not. 

I’d been on the go pretty much ever since, only managing to find security for about a year in a secluded cabin before raiders found me. I took out 2 of their men and stabbed their leader in the shoulder before escaping, leaving them to battle the clickers that had been following their group, unbeknownst to them. 

It’s several months after that day. I’ve managed to recoup some of my things, grateful I had stashed a few emergency bags in case I had to leave without being able to gather anything up. I’ve not settled anywhere long. I know they’re out there looking for me - if they survived the clickers. They were a resourceful lot so I can’t be sure who won in that fight.

I’m careful. Quiet. Never going near bigger settlements and definitely staying away from the QZ. They attract too much attention and honestly, I’m not interested in being in a military camp.

There’s no secure houses around here, so I climb a tree, hauling my pack up the trunk as I climb, finally settling higher up in the branches. I reach in my pack and pull out some rope, tying my body to the tree so I don’t fall out when I inevitably fall into a restless sleep.

The click of a gun wakes me from sleep with a start. I look around, consciousness returning to me quickly when I hear a voice from below, a drawl to it.

“Toss down your pack.”

I look down and see 2 men. I can’t make out their faces in the dim light, but I don’t need to see them to know they’d shoot me out of this tree. I must not have hidden myself in the leaves as well as I thought. 

“Don’t be stupid, darlin’. Toss it down,” the second man says opposite the first man, a slightly higher voice with the same drawl. They’re either from the same region or maybe brothers.

The hammer pulling back on the first man’s gun has me scrambling. I put my hands up as well as I can.

“Ok, ok. I’m tossing it down.”

I can’t do anything up in this tree, but maybe I’d have a chance on the ground. Somehow I doubt it, but if I stay here, I’ll die for sure.

I untie the backpack and toss it down to the first man who catches it with one hand, placing it on the ground, eyes never leaving me. 

“Now it’s your turn. Untie yourself and come down. And don’t be stupid.”

I nod, untying myself and dropping the rope down to the man before I climb down. The second my feet hit the ground he’s on me, shoving me face first into the trunk of the tree, a strong, large hand pressed in between my shoulder blades. His other hand roams my body, checking for weapons. He grabs my shirt and spins me around, shoving my back against the tree as his arm comes up to push on my chest, pinning me there. 

“You the girl them raiders lookin’ for?” The second man says as he comes into my vision. 

“Who?”

The man who has me pinned pushes my body up the tree, scraping my back as my feet kick out, unable to find the ground anymore. 

“Answer him.”

My hands grope at his arm, a futile attempt to get him to put me down. 

“Maybe? Please, put me down!”

The man studies me for a moment before letting go, my knees giving out and I slam into the ground, breathing shaikly for a moment. These are not men to fuck with. Before I can think of my next move, the second man squats next to me, yanking my arms behind my back and tying them off. 

“Don’t think about runnin’, darlin’.”

The first man’s flashlight is on us to give him some light to see by. I look up at him as he’s tying my wrists together and hate myself a little because this man is hot as hell, the space between my thighs fluttering at a thought I haven’t entertained in years. He’s got dark hair, curls that have started to fall on his forehead, freckles splattered across olive toned skin, and eyes that are as dark as mud on a rainy day. Eyes you could get lost in. Once he finishes, he stands up, dusting his hands off as he moves to grab my pack, starting to rifle through it. The first man grips my arm, roughly helping me to stand back up.

“Are you the girl?” the first man grunts out and I turn my head to look at him, squinting up at the flashlight. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking-”

SMASH!

My head flies back as the first man’s fist makes contact, my head just barely missing the tree behind me. I’m seeing stars, head pounding and my jaw feels like it was nearly dislocated. I swallow back my cry of pain, not wanting to show any weakness.

“You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about, sweetheart. Now…are you the girl?”

I look at him, throwing all of my strength and fight behind my eyes. “Fuck. You.”

I’m met with his fist again, this time he lets my body hit the floor, staring at me as I spit out blood on the forest floor. 

“Joel.” The second man speaks to the first and I’m finally given a name to my assailant. 

“She hasn’t answered-”

“I know but you don’t have to punch her, damn.”

The second man turns on a flashlight of his own, squatting down in front of me. His fingers firmly but gently grip my chin and I wince as he turns my face to him. He shines the light on me, studying the bruises. 

“You ok?”

“Does it matter?”

He lowers the light and my eyes take a second to adjust back to the darkness. When they do, I can see a glint of sadness and regret in his eyes. 

“It does, actually. ‘M sorry about my brother. He has a…he doesn’t like it when people don’t answer him when he asks.”

“I bet he’s real fun at parties.”

The second man laughs and again I hate myself for loving the way it sounds, light and like sunshine, but also like he was unfamiliar with the action. 

“Oh yeah. Big hit.”

“Tommy.” The first man, Joel, speaks to the second man, Tommy, in a warning tone.

“What? You can’t just punch answers from everyone, Joel.” He turns back to me, eyes meeting my defiant ones. 

“Are you the girl?”

“It really doesn’t matter. You’re selling me off either way.”

Tommy looks a little sad. “No. We can let you go if you aren’t her.”

I scoff, looking between them. “Yeah, ok.”

Tommy studies me for a few more moments before turning to look at Joel, who moves forward to push me, standing, against the tree. He takes my rope out and starts to tie me to the tree.

“Maybe you just stay here and figure out who you are.”

I spit in his face and he slaps me, my neck spinning quickly to the side, pain radiating up my cheek.

“Think about your next move, sweetheart.”

Joel and Tommy walk a few feet away, setting up a camp for the night after checking the perimeter. They take the food from my bag, splitting it between them and I lament the loss of the Butterfinger bar I had found a few months back. 

What do I do? Either way, I’m fucked. If they sell me as a slave, it won’t be pretty for me. I’ve heard of what they do and seen it myself when I had to pass by a camp. If they sell me to the raider I stabbed? That might actually be worse. I’ve never known a raider to be merciful.

Which is hilarious considering most of them used to be the wealthiest people in the country.

I drift off into a light sleep, my brain searching for a way out and finding none. 

—----

The next morning, I’m woken by rough hands undoing the binds that tied me to the trree. My eyes blink open and I see Joel and fuck this guy is gorgeous too. Angrier looking than Tommy, but a strong nose, patchy facial hair, and soft brown hair. His eyes are very similar to Tommy’s but very different. Something had happened to Joel. Something that broke him and made him this man in front of me. 

Also, there’s no way they aren’t brothers. 

Rope removed from the tree, he ties it to my binds, making a sort of leash. He ties the other side to his own wrist, binding himself to me. He answers my questioning look with a grunt. 

“Don’t think about runnin…Have you figured out who you are yet?”

“It doesn’t matter. You just want to know if you can get more money.”

His eyes find mine and I glare back at him, trying to meet his angry energy with my own. 

“Hard to believe you’re worth what he’s askin’.”

I chuckle. “Can he lift his arm over his head?”

Joel pauses, head tilting as he studies me. “No.”

“That was me.”

He looks surprised. Well, as surprised as he can look. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I have a lot in me. Untie me and find out.”

Joel chuckles then and I need to stop because I fucking adore this sound, despite it’s dark undertone. 

“Not today, sweetheart. I don’t mess with cargo.”

“You hit me 3 times yesterday.”

Joel looks at me, his eyes shifting to my cheeks where he had hit me before meeting my gaze. “Par for the course.”

I hate him. But more than that I hate myself for the tingling I felt last night coming back and settling between my thighs the longer he looks at me. 

We walk for a week, Joel still questioning me every chance he could, chuckling at me as I trip when he yanks the rope binding us. Tommy gives me a reprieve, more gentle than his brother. But I know he could overpower me in a second with his broad shoulders and part of me is tempted to have him try.

On the third day, Joel comes to me after they’ve eaten, bringing me the leftover scraps. He’s tied me to the tree again, the bark leaving scrapes and cuts in my skin. He shoves food in my mouth, reminding me not to bite him. I don’t, but I do tuck that idea in the back of my head in case I see an opening. 

“We’ll be at their camp in about couple weeks. I don’t envy you when you get there.”

They had been debating up until now, Tommy saying they should bring me elsewhere, that I don’t deserve what the raiders will do to me when they give me over. Joel seems to ponder this, telling Tommy they couldn’t just let me go as I seem pretty resourceful and would most likely come back to kill them.

I mean, the thought had crossed my mind when they first caught me. But now? I’m not so sure. It’s not Stockholm Syndrome, but more that I can see the weariness around their eyes, shoulders slumping a little more when they talk about payment or any other nasty business, as if it’s wearing on them. Tommy more so than Joel. 

I can’t go to the raiders. I won’t survive that. 

One night, I’m tied to the tree as usual, Joel and Tommy huddled around a small fire, debating my fate like it was hockey scores. Joel was attempting to fix his boot, Tommy trying to make something edible out of their meager stash. It’s clear they weren’t prepared to feed me for this much time, but they have no choice.

“We could take her to Charles?”

Joel shakes his head. “He’ll only pay half of what the raiders will.”

“Yeah but her life would be better.”

“Charles is a slaver, Tommy.”

“Let’s not kid ourselves, Joel. We’re takin’ people and selling them for profit.” Tommy spits out his words, like he could barely bring himself to say it for all the disgust he has for himself.

Joel pauses in his repairs and looks up at Tommy. “Survival. We’re tryin’ to survive, Tommy. Ain’t no profit in that.”

“We get supplies and they get a life of slavery. How is that not profit, Joel?”

“Hey - let’s not forget the time you fucked up and got a gash so bad that it needed stitches, which got infected so we had to trade people for medication.”

Tommy was quiet. “You should’ve let me-”

“I’m not lettin’ you die, Tommy.”

Mustering up my courage, I speak loud enough for them to hear me but not loud enough that I’m yelling.

“I-I can help.”

They both stop what they’re doing and turn to look at me, Joel muttering “Here we go,” under his breath. 

“Look, sweetheart. No amount of beggin’ or vowing to do somethin’ for us is going to make us let you go.”

“I’m not asking to be let go.”

That got their attention.

They exchange a look before turning back to me. “What's that now?” Joel asks.

“I..I know you can’t let me go. I wouldn’t let me go either. But I can’t go to the Raiders, Joel.”

Joel shrugs, but Tommy’s expression changes, his eyes not quite meeting mine out of guilt. 

“Listen…I can help you. Cook, repair things, build shelters, whatever-”

“We’re capable of that, sweetheart.”

“I’m not doubting that. I’ve seen you guys work. But…look, I know how to stretch a meal, how to forage, hunt. I can make functional items. I’ve been on my own for a long time. I’ve learned a lot.”

Joel chuckles, glancing back at Tommy, who appears to be considering my offer.

“Again, sweetheart. We can-”

“I have medical knowledge.”

Joel fell silent, staring me down as Tommy sits up a little straighter. 

“You? Have medical knowledge?”

I nod. “Before all of this, I was halfway through my residency.”

They’re both quiet. A little too quiet.

“I know that we don’t trust each other, so you could continue to tie me up or whatever you needed to do to feel comfortable. But I can…I’m offering to…take care of you. Both of you.”

Joel stares at me for a minute before getting up and nodding at Tommy, who gets up and follows him. They go out of earshot of me, presumably to discuss whether to accept my offer or reject it. I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s the latter.

It takes them a while before they come back, Joel striding up to me and glaring down into my face.

“You have one week to prove your worth.”

I can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes me. “Th-thank you. I know I can help-”

Joel waves a hand at me. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t be stupid. And do as we say.”

“Yes. I promise I will.”

He grunts, going back to sit down and resume working on his boot. Tommy comes up and gives me a small smile, untying me from the tree but keeping a firm grip on my wrist binds. 

“Can you come help with dinner?”

I nod, but Joel lets out an exasperated sigh. “Just tell her, Tommy. You don’t have to ask her permission.”

“You do it your way and I’ll do it mine.”

I follow Tommy over to the fire and he sits me down, tying the rope around my binds to himself, just as we do when walking. I get to work, making a meal out of the bare supplies they have, getting Tommy to open up a bit, the both of us laughing and joking by the end of it, earning ourselves a glare from Joel.

It goes like this for a few days, Joel being the gruff, hard one as usual, and Tommy opening up more and more. The more I talk to him the more I see what I think is the pre-infection Tommy, like a ray of sunshine, lighting up the world with that smile and sweet talking Texan accent of his. I can see the tension starting to leave him, just a little, as he starts to trust me.

Joel on the other hand, doesn’t trust me for shit. 

I meant what I said. I wouldn’t run. I made a deal and I intend to keep it. I have to admit, it was nice having people around, someone to talk to. And I do like having something to do. It had been years since I had taken care of someone besides myself and I loved the change of pace, only being used to surviving alone all this time. 

One day, Joel comes back from gathering wood to see me and Tommy building the fire pit, no binds on my wrists and no rope connecting me to anything. He lost his shit at that, calling Tommy a “fucking dumbass” for not tying me up. But as Joel ties the ropes to my wrists, I notice that he leaves them a little looser than normal, obviously noticing that I didn’t bolt earlier. And I could have - Tommy would’ve let me go. Maybe. 

Another day later and Joel finally lets me work on his boot, the sole of it being the problem. It takes me a few hours, but I manage to fix it, handing it back to Joel who had been watching me the entire time, as if I would sabotage his boot. He tried it on and walked around, kicking out his foot and stomping it to test the strength of my fix. When it holds, he hums. 

“Not bad.”

He’s still tense as shit, but at least I earned a little trust. If only he could learn to let go of some of that anger. I’m not sure what happened to him, and I’d never dare to ask, but I do know that you need to release that sort of pent up tension or it’ll fuck with your head.

The next day, I see my chance. Tommy was off hunting, leaving Joel and me at our little camp. Before he left, Tommy and I had been cooking breakfast, as was our usual. But he forgot to put on my binds when he left, something Joel happened to overlook. He turns to put a tool away, broad shoulders pulling at the fabric of his shirt, and I take a deep breath. I have to give it my all. 

I quietly stand up, seeing that he hadn’t turned back to me or noticed I’d stood up. So I bolt, running full out throught the woods, not caring to look back as I hear him swear, heavy boots pounding after me. Bramble and small branches scratch at my face and catch on my clothes, slowing me slightly, but I dodge in and out of them as best I can, turning to make a curve once I’d gotten a little bit away from camp. My chest is on fire. I’m not used to running like this. Not anymore, anyway. Now, where is he?

Large fingers grab at my arm and I go down, twisting mid air and landing on my back, air whooshing out of my lungs. Before I can take a proper breath he’s on me, his entire body weight pressing against mine as he grabs my wrists, pinning them on either side of my head, pressing them into the dirt as he straddles me.

“Think you could outrun me?”

“Fuck you.” I spit in his face. Joel’s eyes are fire for a moment before his lips are on mine, pushing my wrists further into the dirt. I try to buck my hips up into his, but the movement is small and accomplishes nothing except applying pressure where I need it. 

His kiss is rough, patchy beard scraping at my skin as he pushes his tongue in my willing mouth. His grip loosens at my wrists and I quickly slide them down and out from under him. He breaks the kiss to stare down at me, both of our chests heaving for a moment. 

The final restraint in Joel pops the second my hand reaches for his belt buckle. He fumbles at the button on my pants, frustrated it wasn’t moving fast enough. I was not faring much better at his, both of our hands almost blocking the other. I finally push his hands away from me, reaching down to undo my own pants instead. Joel takes my lead and does the same, belt buckle dangling as he moves off my body. In one fast movement he flips me, pulling my hips up and shoving his hand between my shoulder blades, pushing me down into the dirt. I hear him shoving his pants down so I do the same before moving my arms back out in front of me, trying to avoid literally eating dirt. 

I hear Joel spit in his hand and a second later, he touches me, making tight circles around my entrance. I moan, unable to stop myself under his touch and the grip he has on my hip tightens. He presses the tip of himself against me and in one fast thrust, bottoms out inside of me. I cry out, pain and pleasure mixing together as he sets a rough pace, fucking me into the ground, his hips slamming against my ass. Fuck he feels good. Larger than anything I’ve had, the edges of me burning slightly from the lack of preparation and his size. That warmth I’ve been steadily carrying between my thighs since I first met them blazes, roaring to life as Joel angles his thrusts to hit at that spot inside me, wanting me to come as well. It’s his touch that does me in though, rough, callused fingers rubbing surprisingly soft circles into my clit, working me through it as I cry out into the dirt. He’s not far behind, a few more thrusts of his hips and he moans, a series of delicious little high pitched whines as his hips lose their momentum, a final sigh when he’s done. 

We stay attached for several moments, breathing before he pulls out, hissing when he does. I pull up my pants and roll onto my back, chest heaving from the most intense orgasm I’ve had in years. I feel his fingers on my pants, straightening them out and zipping them up, closing the button. He does up his own pants, tucking himself inside. It’s silent for several moments, Joel seemingly at a loss for words. He stands, turning to me and extending his hand to help me up. I take it, standing up and brushing the dirt off myself. 

“I’m sorry.”

I look up into his deep brown eyes and I see that he’s genuine, a little worry in his gaze, like he stepped over a line he had made for himself. 

“It’s ok-”

He shakes his head. “You can just go. We won’t follow you.”

“No, really. It’s o-”

His eyes are large, pleading, self doubt flowing into them. “No. It isn’t. I don’t do this… I mean I’ve never forced-”

I gently place my hands on his cheeks. “You didn’t force me.”

His brow furrows together. “But I..I did. You were on the ground, I pinned you down and I just…I lost myself. I’ve never done that. I’m not the kind of man who-”

“And you still aren’t, Joel.”

“But I pushed your face in the dirt while I-”

“Do you not remember it was me who reached for your pants first?”

His mouth paused mid word, he’s silent, his brain replaying the events that had just happened. Tension fell from his face and I could tell he was remembering. 

“You spit at me and I kissed you and you reached for my belt…”

I nod, smiling at him, his face still cradled in my hands. “I did. If anything, I should apologize to you-”

“Don’t. You. Dare.” His eyes are dark again, finding himself, all trace of the previous worry melting away. 

I drop my hands from his face. “Like I said Joel, I’m here to help in any way that I can.” 

He blushes ever so slightly. “I never…we would never ask that of you.”

“I know. You aren’t those kind of men. But I bet you feel a little better now?”

He studies me for a moment. “Yes. But that’s not-”

“Good. Problem solved.” I turn, walking back towards the camp, limping slightly. Joel hesitates a moment before following me. 

“Hey, wait.” He quickens his pace to catch up to me. “I thought you were running away from us?”

I smirk, giving him a wink. “A deal’s a deal, Joel. I told you I’d take care of you both and I did. I am. So now, I’m continuing the deal by heading back to camp.”

“So…you wanted me to chase you?”

“I figured the only way to get you to loosen up a bit was to get your adrenaline going.”

“I could’ve shot you.”

I shrug. “Yeah. You could’ve. Except, you didn’t. It didn’t even cross your mind, did it?”

He’s silent as we enter our camp area, Tommy already dressing a deer he’d managed to kill. He nods a hello at us, turning back to the deer. I stop, turning to Joel as he walks up beside me. I put my wrists together and hold them up, silently waiting for him to bind me. 

To my surprise, he doesn’t. He looks down at my wrists, red from the constant rubbing, and walks to his pack, pulling out a small container of salve and handing it to me. 

“Put that on before you bleed.”

“Thanks.”

After applying the salve, I hand it back to Joel, who had begun sharpening his knives. He nods to me, taking the tiny jar and resumes his task, eyes on the blade so he doesn’t cut himself. I walk over to Tommy, smiling at him when I reach him. 

“Hey. Need help?”

He doesn’t look at me, which is not like him. “Nope.”

“You sure? I could start drying the ski-”

“I said I’m good.”

I watch him for a moment longer, noticing the anger in his movements as he skins the deer. 

“OK, well…let me know if you need me.”

“I won’t.”

Not sure what’s pissed him off, I sit back down by the fire, taking stock of the food supplies. 

“We’re in need of a food run,” I say to Joel, who grunts his acknowledgement. 

“I’ll go out tomorrow.”

I settle back, pulling out an old flannel from my bag and my patch kit, sewing up any holes that I find. 

Tommy finishes the deer by evening and I move to help him, stretching quickly before walking over. But when I reach for the deer meat, he pulls it away from me.

“I got it.”

“I- I’m not saying you don’t. But I wanna hel-”

“Go see if Joel wants you.”

He stomps off to go prepare the meat, some for cooking and some for making jerky out of, leaving me standing there, my mouth agape. Suddenly, it hits me.

He saw us. 

And he’s….jealous? Of what? It’s not like Joel and I are an item. I ask Joel if I can go forage and he nods, handing me my knife back that he’d taken from me when we met, newly sharpened. 

Tommy is short with us the rest of the night, refusing to even look at me. Finally, I give up trying, stomping off to try and get some sleep. 

I wake a bit later to hear them talking. 

"We don't do that, Joel. We promised each other that was the line we wouldn't cross."

"Do what? She started it-"

"Yeah by 'running away'. That's funny because she's still fuckin' here, Joel."

"I thought she was runnin'. What's it to you anyway?"

"I come back with a deer expecting help but instead I see you fuckin' the cargo-"

"She's not cargo anymore. We made a deal."

"Fine. You were fuckin' the help then? It don't matter, Joel. We said we wouldn't get involved with anyone we caught-"

Joel's chuckle cuts off the last part of Tommy's sentence. "Involved? What are we, 12?"

"Can't get more serious than fuckin'."

"Look, I apologized to her and offered to let her go but she came back."

Tommy scoffs. "Yeah ok."

"It's the truth. Tommy, you know I'm not like that. She offered to help and -"

"Just shut up, Joel."

"Why does this… oh shit. You like her?"

Tommy doesn't reply. "Tommy, you know you can't get attached out here."

"Yeah I know. She just…she's nice and-"

"Look. We made a deal. And it's up to her to decide how to hold it."

—----

The next morning, Joel leaves early to forage for food, not straying more than a couple miles from our campsite. 

Tommy still isn't talking to me, which makes the morning creep along. Normally, we'd be chatting up a storm, joking and laughing, which is something I hadn't done in years. 

By lunch I couldn't take it anymore. 

He's sitting on his sleeping bag, setting aside the plate of food he'd been eating. His knees are bent up, arms leaning on them as he stares at the fire. I walk over, hesitating for a moment before I sit next to him, fully expecting him to tell me off or move. 

He does neither.

I tentatively reach out, gently placing my hand on his opposite cheek. He makes no move to stop me, and I stroke my thumb across his cheek before applying light pressure to turn his head to look at me. His eyes drag up my face and finally settle on mine, a mixture of emotions raging behind them. 

I brush my thumb across his bottom lip before leaning in, gently pressing my lips to his. He doesn't respond so I pull back, looking down at the ground.

"I'm sorry, Tommy. I must have misread-"

His large hand wraps around the back of my head and gently pulls me to him, his lips on mine, tongue gently prodding to be let in. The second I part my lips he slides his tongue inside, a slight moan at the back of his throat. My fingers twist in his jacket, my other hand trying to grip his broad shoulder as I toss my leg over his lap, straddling him. I can feel him hard underneath me, begging for release. 

Tommy wraps his arm around me and lays me down on my back, my legs coming up to wrap around him, our lips never having left the others. His hips grind into me and I moan, the pressure of him exactly where I need it. Suddenly, he pulls back, his dark, lust blown eyes looking into mine.

“Is this ok?” 

I nod. “Yes. Whatever you want, Tommy. I’m yours.”

He smiles and it reaches his eyes before he kisses me again. I feel his hand fumble at my pants for a moment before sliding down under my panties. He slides his finger down the middle of me, hips lips now kissing a path to a spot on my neck where he starts to suck. His finger slowly moves to circle my clit, sliding back down to circle my entrance.

“You’re so fuckin’ wet.”

Unable to form words, I merely whimper as he pushes a finger inside me, curling it to find that spot inside of me. When he does, my hips twitch and I can feel him smile on my neck. He pulls out, pushing in another finger to tap at that spot, the fire that had been growing steadily between my thighs now roaring to life. It’s when he adds his thumb, applying slight pressure to my clit that I come undone, whimpering as I grip his arm, unable to do anything but moan. When I come down, he pulls his hand from me, watching my face with a slight smile. His eyes land on mine and I nod slightly, a barely audible “please” under my breath as I palm him over his jeans. He grunts, grinding into my hand a couple of times before he pushes himself to his knees, his hands reaching for his belt. 

“Take off your pants and get in the sleeping bag.” It’s not a command, I’m fully able to turn him down, but there’s no way in hell that’s happening. 

I scramble to do as he says, hearing a slight chuckle from Tommy as I shimmy down into the sleeping bag. He follows, slotting himself between my thighs as he zips the bag back up. 

He kisses me again, swallowing my moans as he runs his dick through my increasingly wet folds. He pulls back, eyes on my face as he slowly pushes inside of me. I know my mouth is hanging open as he pulls back out, small thrusting movements to allow me time to adjust to him, which just drives me more mad. Finally, he bottoms out, adding an extra thrust when he does and I cry out, nails digging into his arms. He does this several more times, watching my face contort in pleasure as he fucks me slow and deep, taking his time splitting me open. I know I’m close and he can tell to, leaning down to my ear to speak into it.

“Say my name.”

A second later my orgasm arrives and I cry out his name, other expletives and random words falling from my lips as well, his hips still thrusting into me, extending my release. Once I start to come down, he thrusts harder somehow a few more times before his head hits my chest, grunting and whining as he spurts into me. My hands come up to his head, gently tugging at his curls and he whimpers, his hips sputtering one last time before laying still. We stay like that for a while, still joined, his head on my chest and my fingers tangled in his hair.

“You know you didn’t have to let me,” Tommy speaks into my chest.

“I know.”

“You could’ve told me to fuck off.”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s ok if you only want to fuck Joel.”

“I-what?”

He still hasn’t looked at me. “I saw you guys the other day. At first I thought he’d crossed a line, but-”

“No, he didn’t. It was me.”

Tommy nods before pushing himself up, sliding out from between my legs. He tucks himself in his pants before handing me a rag to clean up with. Once dressed, we go back to sitting near the fire, chatting and joking like we had been a few days before. 

Joel comes back a few hours later, dropping down a couple cans of Chef Boyardee before glancing between Tommy and I with a knowing look. I thank him and start to make a meal for the three of us, passing out freshly cooked venison and a side of Beefaroni. We eat for a few minutes in silence, the sounds of the forest and the crackling fire all that we could hear. 

“So,” Joel clears his throat. “What, uh, what now?”

Tommy and I look at him. “What do you mean?” I ask.

Joel glances at Tommy and back to me. “I think…I think we need to set some clear lines so no one gets hurt.”

I glance at Tommy, surprised to see him blushing slightly, like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. But then they both look at me expectantly. I swallow the large bite I had eaten, taking a sip of water before speaking.

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Becasue you’re the one who started…this.” Joel gestures between us all. 

“Well,” I say, wiping my hands on my pants. “I made you guys a deal to take care of you in any way that I can, in exchange for not selling me to the raiders. This was a trial period so…”

“We’re not sellin’ you to anyone,” Tommy assures me, glancing at Joel who nods his agreement. 

“I’ve already released you from your deal, sweetheart. You just insisted on coming back. Tommy agrees with me.”

Tommy nods. “It’s up to you, darlin’.”

I think for a few moments. “To be honest, I was just surviving before I met you. I hadn’t spoken to anyone outside of trade deals in years, wandering around on my own. I got really good at a lot of things, survival things. But what I never counted on needing was, well, other people. Even when I was tied to the tree, I hadn’t been that happy in years. And it’s because of you guys.” Joel and Tommy glanced at each other before looking at the ground and back at me. Joel opens his mouth, most likely to apologize, but I put my hand up to silence him.

“So, if it’s ok with you both, I’d…I’d like to stay. I know you’ve done shit you aren’t proud of. We all have. But isn’t it time to do something different? Maybe find some secluded cabin somewhere and just live? I’d love to be a part of that.”

“That sounds great, sweetheart, really. But it’s hard to comeby supplies for that-”

“I think it’s doable,” Tommy interjects. “I know of some places more west that were already operational without electricity, not well known to the public. Did some construction projects there. One of those living history places? We could head that way.”

Joel pauses to think. “That sounds good to me.”

I smile. “If you’ll have me, I’m in.”

Tommy’s smile is widest yet. “It’s settled then. You’ll be comin’ with us.”

I nod. “Just one thing I think we need to clear up.”

Both of their eyes are on me and I feel like I could drown happily in their gaze. 

“No jealousy. If either of you need me, I am ready and willing-”

“The same goes for you, darlin’.” Joel nods his agreement. “Women have needs too and we’re more than happy to help.”

—----

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[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 5

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 5400+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This is it. The chapter I initially wanted to write. Literally, just a small little one shot. But no. That’s not the Miller way apparently and once again, a Miller man took me by the hand and said “more”. Also I’m sorry please don’t hate me.

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**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

Dating changed absolutely nothing between us. It felt the same as it always had, us sharing jokes, laughing, listening to each other, the amazing sex, just being around each other. Tommy and I always got along well and I guess it feels the same because we’d always been flirting. And then fucking. The only thing we never did was officially date.

A couple months in, Joel and Sarah have us over for our weekly family dinner. Joel had asked us to not tell Sarah about the baby until we were sure it was sticking around, which was fair. Since everything was going great with the pregnancy, we all agreed it was time to tell her. 

“We’re having steak? Since when are family dinner’s so fancy, dad?” Sarah asks as she walks into the kitchen, looking over her dad’s shoulder at the plate of grilled steaks. 

Joel nods towards me. “It was Daisy’s request.”

Sarah raises her eyebrows. “I didn’t realize we could make requests.”

“She can. You can’t.”

Sarah scoffs as she sits down, the rest of us joining her at the table. “That’s not fair. Why does she get special treatment?”

Joel starts loading steak onto plates and passing them around the table. “Because she’s stuck with Tommy and I feel bad for her.”

“Fuck off,” Tommy says, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He clears his throat before looking at Sarah. “Actually, there’s a reason. A real reason.”

Sensing the change in tone, Sarah looks up at her uncle. “What’s up? Did someone die? Oh no, you guys aren’t breaking up are you? What did you do, Uncle Tommy?”

“Hey now, what makes you think I screwed it up?” Sarah looks at him, one eyebrow raised. “Alright, fair point. But no.” Tommy takes my hand, rubbing little circles into the back of it. “You’re going to be a cousin.”

It takes her a second, the math playing out in front of her glazed over eyes before she looks at me for confirmation and I nod, my hand going to rest on my small stomach before she screams, launching herself out of her chair and nearly knocking me out of mine as she flings her arms around my neck. 

“Oh my GOD this is amazing news! I can’t believe I’m going to have a cousin!! AAHHH A BABY, DAD! THERE’S GOING TO BE A BABY IN THE FAMILY!” She launches herself at Tommy next, nearly knocking him out of the chair. “I promise I will help and babysit and do whatever you need for the baby! Wait, is it a boy or girl?”

“We won’t find out for a bit yet. But when we do, we’ll let you know.”

Sarah squeaks and hugs Tommy again. “I am so excited! You’re going to be a great dad, Uncle Tommy I know it!”

The rest of the dinner I wanted for nothing, Sarah immediately jumping to help me before Tommy could blink. Joel explained that she’d been dying to have a sibling for the longest time, but this is the next best thing. When it’s time for us to leave, she hugs me but pushes her face to my stomach, whispering things to the baby. Tommy gets in his truck after helping me in, chuckling as he starts it. 

“Well I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry about a babysitter.”

“At least until she finds a boyfriend.”

“Don’t let Joel hear you say that.”

We reach the end of Joel’s street and Tommy stops, his hand hovering over the blinker. 

“Tommy?”

“Move in with me.”

“What?”

He turns in his seat, throwing the truck into park. “I mean it. I’ve been wanting to ask you for…well, forever. I hate you being so far away all the time and fuck I love you so much and I just want to take care of you, and make sure that-”

“Tommy-”

“-that you’re never wanting for anything and-”

“Tommy-”

“-and I want to wake up every day beside you, officially, and-”

“Tommy!”

He pauses and looks at me. “Y-yeah?”

I take his hand and hold it, feeling his warmth seep into my skin. “I love you too and I would absolutely love to move in with you.”

His eyes brighten as a smile stretches across his face. “Yeah? Really?”

“Really. I love you, Tommy Miller.”

He pulls my face to his and kisses me, only breaking it to the sound of a horn honking from behind us. He laughs and pulls back, putting on his blinker and driving towards my apartment. 

“Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow.”

Several weeks later, once we’re all moved and settled in, we go to my OB, an ultrasound wand gliding around my stomach as they take their measurements. 

“Baby is looking good, healthy. Growing just as they should be. Oh which reminds me - do we want to know what we’re having?”

Tommy takes my hand where he stands next to me. “Yes, ma’am we would.”

She slides the wand around for a few moments and then stops, taking a picture of the ultrasound. “You’re going to have a boy.”

Tommy lets out a puff of air. “Are..are you sure?”

The OB smiles. “Oh yes. You see this here?” She points at a spot on the screen. “Definitely a boy.”

Tommy laughs, actually whooping a little and when he turns to me, I see tears welled up in his eyes before he wipes them away. “We’re gonna have a son. I can’t believe it! I’m gonna have a boy!” He leans down and kisses me and my hand comes up to the back of his head to pull him closer. He pulls back a little, eyes looking between mine. “What do you think?”

“Honestly, I just wanted a healthy baby. But I can’t wait to see a mini you walking around. Will it come out with a tiny belt buckle?”

“Oh shut up!” He smiles against my lips as he kisses me once more before letting the tech finish their scans. 

The pregnancy progresses and I start to feel more like a house, sweating whenever I think about walking, struggling to get up from sitting. The Texas heat becomes more and more oppressive and I find myself sweating from places I didn’t know I could. 

Tommy is wonderful. I don’t know what I did to deserve him. Every day he comes home and gives me a massage, paying extra attention to my feet and lower back, even learning how to massage for the sciatica that started up several weeks back. He gets me anything I ask for, no matter how ridiculous, and showers me with love and affection, praising me for the ability to grow a new life. 

“Ugh, I’m so big I can’t do anything!” I slam my fist on the bed next to me where I had tried, and failed, to sit up. 

“You’re in the home stretch, darlin’. Soon you’ll be holdin’ that son of ours and making me want to put another one in you I know it.”

“Slow down there, cowboy. I haven’t finished cooking this one yet.”

Tommy chuckles. “True. But until then, can I help you feel better?”

“How would you oh.” Tommy slides his hand between my legs, gently brushing over my sensitive clit. He leans in and nibbles on my ear lobe, gently pressing a finger over me where I need him and I whine. “Is that a yes, darlin’?”

“Oh fuck yes.”

Tommy continues to touch me as he nibbles on my ear, kissing that spot under it that has my hips jerking into his hand. Then he pushes up and drops between my legs, pulling from me 2 of the most intense orgasms I’ve had this entire pregnancy.

“Feeling good, darlin’?” Tommy asks as he wipes his face, sitting up from between my thighs. 

“Mmhm. But I need you.”

Tommy looks at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “I’m not sure-”

“The doctor said it might help stimulate labor.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. And I am so ready to not be pregnant in this heat. Please Tommy?”

He looks at me and I try to copy his puppy eyed look, but all he does is laugh at me. “You’re so terrible at that.”

“Shut up.”

“Tell me if I hurt you, ok?”

“Of course.”

An hour later, my water breaks.

Calm and collected, Tommy uses every ounce of his training from the army to get us to the hospital on time and safe. Once we’re in the labor and delivery room, he shoves our bags to the side and continues his support, counter pressure on my hips during contractions when I ask him, ice chips, sneaking me honey sticks or whatever I wanted when the nurse wasn’t looking. He lets me tell him what I need and then he did it and I really don’t know what I would’ve done without him. He constantly whispered words of affirmation in my ear, especially as time went on and he could see me getting exhausted. 

“You’ve got this, Daisy. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re gonna breathe this baby out.”

16 hours of labor later, our son Jackson was born. The moment Tommy caught him he had him wrapped around his tiny little finger, Tommy’s tears falling onto his tiny little chest as he took his first breaths in this world. 

“Hey little guy. It’s me. I’m your dad.” His voice cracks on the last word as he turns to hand me our son. I take him, tears streaming down my face at this little tiny human who holds my entire being. 

“Hey Jackson. It’s mom. I’m so glad to finally see you on the outside!”

Tommy cuts the cord and then comes back by us, tears fully streaming down both of our faces as Jackson cuddles further into me. If he wasn’t in my arms he was in Tommy's, his tiny little body curled up and relaxed on his dad’s broad chest was enough to punch anyone right in the baby maker. And I’d just had a baby. 

Sarah is beside herself. She absolutely adores Jackson and spends every moment she can with him. Whenever she can get him away from Tommy that is. Even Joel, who had warmed up to me the moment Tommy and I started dating, melted over him, visions of his daughter playing in his eyes whenever he looked at Jackson. 

A few weeks after Jackson was born, Tommy comes out to find us in the living room, the tv on low as I feed him, circles under my eyes from lack of good sleep, hair in a messy bun, and smelling of milk. He sits next to me and puts his hand on my thigh, rubbing circles into it.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

I scoff. “Oh yeah, I’m sure I look like I’m ready for the runway.”

“I’m serious. You fucking made a human. You did that. Made a human and take such good care of him and you just…I love you.”

I can’t help it, but I cry, half from his words and half from the hormones that are just about out of my body from everything. 

“Marry me.”

I stop crying to look at him. “What?

“I had a whole thing planned but seeing you now? I can’t wait. Will you? Marry me?”

“You wanna marry me when I look like this?”

“Darlin’, you are gorgeous and strong and I fucking adore you. But if you’re not ready and I asked too soon, I promise I’ll wait. I can-”

“Yes.”

“Y-yes?”

The tears fall again, streaming down my face as I nod furiously. “I want to be Mrs. Miller.”

He laughs, pulling my face to his and kisses me, his tongue sliding into my mouth, moaning slightly before a tiny cry makes him pull back.

“Sorry, bud. I just had to kiss your mom. Wait right here.”

Tommy disappears into our bedroom and comes back with a small black box, opening it to reveal a ring, a slim white gold band with a modest sized diamond in the middle, and an engraving on the inside that simply said “Miller” with a tiny daisy engraved with it.

“Oh Tommy! This is beautiful!” He slides it onto my finger and I cry again looking at it. Honestly, I would’ve stayed with Tommy for the rest of my life without a ring. Without even officially dating. And when I told him as much, he laughed and said he wished he’d have known as he could’ve saved a lot of money.

We get married when Jax is about 6 months old in a small ceremony in our own backyard. Tommy, Joel, and Sarah completely transformed our small yard into something out of a story. Twinkling lights strung amongst the tree branches and bushes, a few long, wooden planks are set on stumps to make benches, and Tommy builds an archway for us, decorating it with vines and flowers, Sarah adding lights and a beautiful purple strip of fabric that was her grandmothers. I can see the tears glisten in Tommy and Joel’s eyes before they turn away clearing their throats, memories of their parents flashing in their eyes.

It’s strange. I’ve always heard people say, either in real life or on tv or movies, that they were so nervous on their wedding day. Cold feet. But me? I have none of that. I know that I was meant to be with Tommy, whether we got a receipt or not. And when I make my way down the flower petal clad aisle, staring into his deep brown eyes that are glistening with tears, a smile stretching his face, I know that he feels the same way. 

The celebration goes long into the night, Jax snuggled up next to Sarah, who also passed out in a little makeshift play area she had made for him. When it’s finally time to say goodnight to everyone, Joel quietly picks up Sarah and carries her to his truck and Tommy does the same with Jax, taking him upstairs to put him in his crib. The mess had been cleaned by family and so I follow Tommy, watching as he carefully adjusts Jax in his bed. My little family. I never dreamt in a million years that this is where I’d be at this point in my life, but I know I wouldn’t change a thing.

“What do you think about this one, little guy?” Tommy holds up an apple in front of him, Jax in the baby carrier strapped to his chest. He stares at the apple for several moments before babbling loudly and reaching for it. Tommy chuckles. “Alright, this one it is then.” He kisses the top of Jax’s head and puts the apple in the produce bag and repeats the process with all of the apples, completely oblivious to all of the women looking at him with heart eyes and at me with jealously. I really couldn’t care less. My eyes are glued to my husband, making me feel like I’ve been punched in the uterus. Suddenly, a Buddy Holly song rings out over the store’s PA system and Tommy puts the bag of apples in the cart, quickly moving to stand in front of me. 

“Let’s dance with mommy!”

Jax looks at me, his grin wide on his face with his few teeth showing as Tommy dances and sings with him, moving his little arms in time with me as I dance too. When the song ends, I look up at Tommy and find him already looking at me, his eyes soft and full of love that washes over me, making me warm all over. He takes my hand and pulls me to his side, leaning down to press his soft lips to mine. When he pulls back just a bit, he looks into my eyes and I nearly melt into a puddle there in the produce section. 

“I love you, Daisy.”

“I love you, Tommy.”

“You boys are sure working hard on that sandcastle! You want to take a juice break?” I ask, shielding my eyes from the sun as it blares down on the sandy beach. 

“No, mommy. Build!” Jax waves a hand at me, never removing his eyes from the sand castle Tommy is building in front of him. He’s pointing out different structures, the way to build it properly so it wouldn’t fall over and Jax stares between the castle and his dad with rapt attention. When the wave finally comes in, the water fills the moat perfectly, not even a crumble of sand coming down from the castle. Jax squeals with delight as Tommy hoists him in the air, laughing as he spins him around. 

“Great job, Jax and Uncle Tommy!” Sarah smiles wide at Jax as he takes her hand, pointing out all of the things that Tommy did to her. Joel stands to the side, making notes on what he’d do different until Tommy punches him in the arm.

“Shut up, asshole.”

“Language.”

Joel kneels down by Sarah and Jax, attempting to make his changes while Tommy walks back over to me, trying to insert himself next to me on my towel.

“Excuse you, sir. I do believe there is no room on this towel for you.”

He slides his hand over my bare skin, lifting himself to lay partially on me, his hand cupping my face, turning me to him. He leans down, his nose tracing a line up my neck and I let out a puff of air, my hand immediately coming up to scratch his scalp. His lips meet mine, his tongue gently prodigy at my lips and I slowly open them. He moans into my mouth, his hips slightly moving of their own accord. I turn towards him, throwing my leg over his back-

“Hey! There are kids here!” Joel yells from the sandcastle.

Tommy turns his head to the side and yells back. “How do you think they got here?”

“Get over here asshole and help me finish this castle so we can have lunch.”

Tommy chuckles and kisses me once more before leaning next to my ear. “We’ll pick this back up later.”

He pushes himself up, dusting his trunks off before turning and running back towards them, Jax and Sarah screaming with delight as he chases them around, nearly destroying all of Joel’s work. Soon Joel has joined in too, mostly to tackle Tommy into the sand, the kids’ laughter ringing out loud when Tommy’s butt hits the ground.

“It still needs a little work, but Joel and I can finish that up. Maybe make it self sustainable,” Tommy explains as we drive down the very narrow road that I eventually realize is a driveway. We pull up to a cabin that Tommy has definitely undersold.

“Tommy, we can’t afford this. Not even splitting it with Joel.”

We pull up in front of the modestly sized cabin that looks like it belongs on HGTV. And he says it isn’t even finished?

“Well that’s the thing. You remember the Jones’s? That big client we landed right around the time we uh, got together?” Tommy smiles and clears his throat, his eyes quickly darting to the rearview mirror to make sure Jax was still asleep. 

I nod. “Of course. They’re your biggest client.”

“Yeah, well I guess they have too much property and just want to get rid of it.”

“And they’re just giving it to you?”

He chuckles, putting the truck into park and shifting to look at me. “Nah. But they offered it to Joel ‘n me for an extreme discount. Less than what they paid for it, even including the upgrades.”

I glance out of the front window towards the cabin before looking at him again. “Why would they do that?”

Tommy shrugs. “What can I say? Mrs. Jones loves me. Anyway, they have it almost finished, just a bit of work on the patio and then basic stuff inside.”

His eyes are bright and excited. I can tell he really wants to do this and honestly, it would be really great to have somewhere to come to relax and unwind with the family. 

“Tell me more about it.”

His smile lights up the cab and I already know I’m on board with whatever he says. That damn smile with those fucking freckles kills me every time. 

“There’s 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. All en suite. A big kitchen with those double stoves you always talked about, a nice sized dining area we could put a nice big table in, a stone fireplace that nearly spans the whole wall. Oh, and uh walk in closets and a sort of game room? Activity room? Somethin’ like that. And…let’s just go inside. I’ll give you the tour.”

Jax wakes up at that moment, yawning and looking around with his eyes that match his dad’s as he takes it in. “Daddy, we go in?”

“Yeah, bud. You wanna see?”

He nods furiously. “Yes!”

Tommy gives us the tour, Jax squealing with delight at nearly everything and I can’t blame him. This place is gorgeous. But Tommy also points out the practicality of everything, from the titanium shutters that will board the windows when no one is here to the laundry room that I always wanted, and the fact that he and Joel were planning on finishing the self-sustainable grid and water system, so we wouldn’t have to worry about the power going out, which was apparently pretty common all the way out here.

“And over there?” Tommy points to a space out in the backyard as Jax runs around laughing. “I was thinkin’ we could put in a greenhouse and root cellar. I know how you always wanted one.”

“Really? You think Joel would be ok with that?”

“Darlin’, if we weren’t already married, he’d have proposed after tasting one of your tomatoes.”

“Explains the moaning when he eats one.”

We have a laugh and watch Jax run around for a while between the trees. He comes running up to us and Tommy picks him up, swinging him through the air, Jax’s scream of happiness ringing out. 

“Daddy, we stay here?”

Oh shit. They’re both looking at me with the same puppy eyed look. I cave instantly, although I was already going to agree. 

“Only if daddy and Uncle Joel think they can handle it.”

“Pass me the hammer please, Jax.”

It’s been a few months since we officially purchased the cabin, splitting it with Joel. All of us have spent several weekends here, Tommy and Joel finishing the upgrades to make it self sustainable, adding the greenhouse and other little touches. Today was the day they would finish the back porch. Sarah has been inside the greenhouse with me, helping me plant some vegetables and things in the root cellar. I come up to watch them for a bit, Jax following around his dad, tiny little toolbelt around his waist, complete with a giant belt buckle like his dad’s. He’s turned his hat backwards and is bending over Tommy’s large tool bag, tiny little finger pressed to his chin while his eyes scan the tools. He grabs one using both hands and holds it up, smiling triumphantly as Tommy praises him.

“Look at my strong little man! Let me see your muscles.” He takes the hammer from Jax who immediately flexes his little arms. Tommy squeezes his biceps and whistles. “You’ve got some strong muscles there, son.”

“There’s no way. Let me see.” Joel stops what he’s doing, Jax turning to him and waiting his approval. Joel raises his eyebrows and looks at him. “Wow Jax! I bet you could even pick me up!”

“I can! Watch!” Jax runs up to Joel and throws his arms around his leg, trying to lift him. Joel discreetly goes up on his toes, acting shocked and impressed that Jax could lift him.

They finish the porch and pull out a folding table, Sarah and I quickly grabbing some chairs to put around it, adding a big pitcher of lemonade that Sarah had made to the middle of it. Tommy and Joel argue at the grill for a bit over how exactly to grill the steaks, but eventually we all sit, admiring the setting sun and their hard work. 

Many weekends are spent here, holidays too, all of us loving the peace and quiet. A short ways from the back of the house is a giant lake that is shared with a handful of other cabins across the way. Tommy and Joel vow to look up someone to build a dock eventually, so until then, we have to push the little pontoon boat into the water ourselves, bringing it back up onto it’s trailer and storing it in the outside garage. The fact that this place came with it’s own boat still blows my mind. 

Sarah and Jax end up sharing one of the bedrooms, complete with bunk beds, their laughter and talking echoing down the hall until one of us has to tell them to go to bed. I love their relationship, Sarah treating Jax like the sibling she never had, and Jax the same with her. 

3 years after Jax was born…

“Pancakes, mommy?” Jax asks me as he walks behind me into the kitchen. 

“Let me see, bud.” I rummage through the cabinets, no pancake mix to be found. “Sorry, Jax. No pancakes today. How about a smoothie?” He nods enthusiastically and tells me a laundry list of fruits he wants, some completely made up. I’m gathering up what we have when Tommy comes downstairs, his red shirt unbuttoned, showing off his white tank underneath, stretching out over his large chest. He walks up to me and cages me in against the counter, both of his hands planted on either side of me, smiling when I look up at him. 

“Mornin’ darlin’.”

“Morning.”

He presses his lips to mine, his tongue coming out to slide across my lips and I moan slightly, fisting my hands in his tank top as he closes his arms around me. I can feel him growing more needy but a plastic cup clatters across the floor, breaking the moment. 

“Sorry!” 

Tommy breaks the kiss and chuckles, turning to see Jax chasing down the cup that was bouncing across the tile floor. 

“That’s alright bud. I’ll just have to-” 

Jax squeals as Tommy launches himself at him, chasing our little 3 year old around the kitchen. He bolts and runs towards his room upstairs and Tommy slows, stopping next to me to give Jax a moment to get into his favorite hiding spot, deep in his closet. 

“He’s a fast little bugger, isn’t he?” Tommy catches his breath while I hand him a to-go mug of coffee. 

“That’s why I don’t blink ever… You going to be early today?”

Tommy thinks a moment. “We have to meet the suppliers for this one gig and meet with the Rivieras to try and finalize that building deal. I think I’ve got them, just gotta cover a couple more things.”

“Don’t forget about Joel’s birthday today.”

Tommy takes a sip of his coffe and savors it for a quick second. “Yeah I know. I gotta pick him up today. His truck is in the shop.”

“Again? He really needs a new one.”

Tommy sighs. “Yeah. He’ll wait until that thing is drove into the ground though.” He pauses and looks at the counter behind me where Jax’s smoothie sits waiting to be blended. “Smoothie? No pancakes?”

“Out of mix. I’ll pick some up tomorrow at the store.”

He sticks out his lip to pout and I can’t resist it. I reach out, sliding my fingers behind his large belt buckle and pulling him to me, leaning up to bite his lip. 

“Careful there, miss. Don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish.”

I open my mouth to respond when Jax yells from upstairs. “DAAAAAD!”

Tommy chuckles, kissing me one more time. “That’s my queue. We will finish this tonight.” His eyes are dark as they meet mine and I push my legs together, a movement that doesn’t go unnoticed by Tommy. He winks before leaving the kitchen, moving exaggeratedly loud up the stairs. A moment goes by before Jax squeals and Tommy comes back downstairs with him hooked under his arm like a football, kicking and laughing the whole way. He sets him down and Jax tries to play fight him. They wrestle a moment before Tommy pretends to get hit hard, crumbling to the floor as Jax jumps on him and he grunts. 

“You got me, little man!” 

“Look mommy! I win!”

“My strong boy!”

Jax puffs out his chest as Tommy stands, giving him a hug before putting on his boots. 

“You be good for your mama today, alright?”

“We go to cabin tomorrow? With Uncle Joel and Sarah? And Uncle Joel's um..girl friend?"

Tommy nods. “Yeah, bud. If they’re still up for it. But-" He glances up at me "- Rose has to work so she can't make it. Guess the hospital needs extra hands."

This seems acceptable to Jax and he bounds back into the kitchen, sitting at the table to wait for his smoothie, pulling some coloring books and crayons towards him that were on the table. I walk Tommy to his truck where he quickly spins me around and pushes my back into it, kissing me deeply, one hand gripping my hip and the other twisting in my hair. He whimpers as he pushes himself against me and I almost tell him to meet me in the backseat. 

“We do have neighbors, Tommy.”

“So?”

“They have kids.”

He sighs before pulling back. “I can’t wait to get you on my own for a bit this weekend. I gotta make sure you remember how to yell my name.”

My knees go weak as his lustful gaze bores into mine. “Th-that’s good because I need to see how many sounds I can pull from you.”

Tommy groans and kisses me once more before he gets in his truck, turning it on. 

“See you tonight. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I watch him drive off, giving me a wave before his truck disappears around the corner. Heading back inside, I see that Jax had moved from the table to turn on the tv. He was pressing buttons on the remote and getting more and more frustrated as the news program won’t click off. Instead, it gets progressively louder as he jams the wrong button.

“...continued disturbances in Jakarta, but are advising US citizens…”

“MAMA HELP!” Jax shoves the remote at me and covers his ears while I tap a few buttons, quickly putting on PBS Kids. He settles on the couch and I let him drink his smoothie there, snuggling up next to him as I sip my own. 

I spend some time playing with Jax, but then decide to start packing for the trip to the cabin. Joel had wanted us all to go for his birthday so I packed up some things for the 3 of us, scanning the cabinets and tossing some small snacks into our snack bag. We’ll have to stop at the store on the way. When Tommy doesn’t show up for dinner that night, I start to worry. He usually calls when he’s running late, although he was trying to close that deal today. I just tuck Jax into bed when suddenly, my phone rings and I rush to pick it up. 

“Hello?”

“Hey darlin’.” Tommy sounds apologetic and I sigh.

“You’re going to be extra late, aren’t you?”

He sighs into the phone. “Yeah. I mean, we closed the deal with the Riveras.”

“That’s great news!”

“It is. But since it’s Joel’s birthday, I told him I’ll take the Riveras out to celebrate the closing deal so he can go home to Sarah.”

“You’re a good brother.”

“The best. ‘M sorry, darlin’. You’ll be ok to pack by yourself?”

“Of course. I’ll pack your bag for you too.”

“Thanks. I’ll have to make it up to you this weekend.”

“I can think of a few ways you can do that.”

Tommy clears his throat and I realize he must not be alone in the room. “I can’t wait. Gotta go. Love you. Kiss Jax goodnight for me.”

“I will. Love you too.”

I cleaned up the kitchen and packed a bag for him, taking my time in getting ready for bed, intending to wait up for him. But the second I start reading my book, I pass out, book open in my hands. 

Until the screams outside rip me from sleep.

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#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 4

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2700+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

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❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

<<;Chapter 3<<

Tommy makes it to his truck, unlocking it and closing the door behind himself, turning the truck on and feeling the cold ac blast his face. This helps to calm him, taking away the initial panic feeling that he got when she told him she was pregnant.

Pregnant. She was pregnant.

If he’s honest with himself, deep down, both of them knew it was always a possibility. It always was with sex, no matter what birth control you use. Even his cousin Will was a product of failed birth control, his brother Benny a baby born from a vasectomy that was never checked. But he never thought it would happen to him. A dad? Him? Then again, Joel did it. And he was so young, just barely out of high school. And then his wife…well, he was left with Sarah and he did alright. 

If he’s being truly honest, he doesn’t hate the idea of kids with her. With his Daisy. 

But is she his? Does he even have a right to say that? They never really discussed their relationship outside of him burying himself inside of her or sliding his face between her legs, cracking jokes and hanging out inbetween. Tommy loved spending time with her and he thinks it’s mutual, as Daisy was always inviting him places or calling just to talk. I mean it makes sense that they would end up together. He just thought he’d have more time to ask her out. Take her on dates. Marry her. Then have kids.

But does she even want to? With him?

The more Tommy thinks about her and how she had been sitting on this for however long by herself, he realizes that it’s not just about him. He has the chance to walk away if he wanted, but she doesn’t have that. No matter what she chooses, her life has changed. 

He takes a deep breath, blowing it out slowly to calm himself before opening his door, closing it behind him and walking back up to her house. He knocks a few times, softly rapping his knuckle against the wood, and it takes her a minute to answer. When she does, he can see the tears she was furiously trying to wipe away, her eyes red with crying, and he knows he never wants to put that look on her face ever again. And that he’d beat the shit out of anyone who did.

“Tommy?” I’m surprised he’s back, convinced he’d just kept on driving out of town.

“Hey, darlin’. I’m sorry for leavin’, I just…needed a minute.”

"It's o-ok." I'm still trying to wipe these tears from my face and level out my breathing. 

"No, it isn't. I never wanted to make you cry and…" He gestures vaguely towards my face. "I'm sorry, Daisy."

I nod. "Did..did you want to come inside?"

"Y-yeah."

I gesture for him to come inside and close the door behind him, wiping my eyes on my sleeve once he passes me. He waits for me to sit on the couch before he does, shifting his body around nervously, unable to settle. 

"So…we're uh, p-pregnant?"

I nod. "Well I mean, I am pregnant."

His eyes scan down my face. "Can I… I mean what… what are you…I uh…" Tommy is stammering but I think I know where he's going. 

"Are you asking me if I'm keeping the baby?"

His eyes are wide with nerves and fear as he nods. "Y-yeah."

I swallow hard. "I…am."

His eyes get wider somehow and his breathing has shallowed and he's in real danger of passing out. 

"You don't have to be…involved."

His eyes snap to mine, the first real time he's looked at me since I told him I was carrying his child. 

"Don't have to be involved?"

I shake my head. "I'm not going to pressure you. I mean, we were…we are just f-friends. So I d-don't expect y-you t-to…to…" I can't hold back the tears, cursing the raging hormones that have started coursing though my body. 

Tommy slides off the couch and kneels on the floor between my legs, taking my hands in his as he stares up at me, eyes wide and round. 

"Darlin', you'll never be able to get rid of me."

"Wh-what?" I look at him, blurry through my tear stained vision, but I swear I see him smiling. 

“I was yours since that night at the bar.” He puts his large, warm hands on my thighs and starts massaging them.

“Th-then wh-why haven’t y-you asked m-me out y-yet?”

He chuckles, but it sounds a little sad. “I was havin’ too much fun flirting with you.”

I let out a strong puff of air that I intended to be a laugh of some kind, because that was exactly true of me. I had every chance to ask him out and I never did, always having too much fun flirting with him. And then fucking him.

“I will always support you, Daisy. If you want to have this baby, then…we’re having a baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”

The next night, Tommy heads over to Joel’s house to tell him the good news before he heads over to spend time with Daisy. He doesn’t knock, but pulls right in the driveway and walks in, yelling for Joel when he enters.

“In here!” Joel yells from the living room. 

Tommy walks in and nods hello to Joel, who nods back. “There’s beer in the fridge if you want one.”

Tommy considers this a moment. “Yeah. I think I do.” 

He goes to the fridge and gets out a beer, popping it open before sitting next to his brother on the couch, leaving the middle cushion open between them. Joel has the game on and they sit and watch it in silence for a bit, only talking about the game. It reaches halftime and Joel stretches, turning down the commercials.

“Hey, Joel?”

“What?”

Suddenly, Tommy finds it hard to speak. “I…I uh…”

Joel looks at him, hearing the nerves in his voice. “Everything ok?”

“Oh, uh yeah. It’s just….Daisy is pregnant.”

Joel is silent, not moving, as if he was waiting for Tommy to say “Gotcha!” but it never comes. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Daisy is pregnant. And…we’re gonna raise it together.”

Joel is silent again, his eyes studying Tommy rapidly, as if he were looking for the punchline. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Tommy.”

“I ain’t arguing that point, but…to be honest, I’m….I’m scared to death. I never thought about it before. Being a dad? But, I don’t know. I think I could be a good dad.” Tommy looks at Joel for the first time, a smile playing across his lips as he confesses.

“I guess we’ll see.”

Tommy furrows his brow, looking at the pissed off look on Joel’s face.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means,” Joel says, standing up. “That you’re treating the mom of your unborn baby like shit and the baby isn’t even here. How are you going to treat the baby?”

Tommy stands up, his body shaking with anger as he angrily points at his brother. “How am I treating her like shit?”

“Oh please. You’ve loved that woman since the moment you met her and you never made a move? You’re treating her like shit, Tommy. And you know it.”

Tommy is silent, his rage subsiding but he still feels guilty.

“Ask her out, man. Take that woman on a date already.”

A knock at my door tells me Tommy has arrived, fresh from his conversation with Joel. I wonder how that went. It’s not that I think Joel hates me, but I always feel some sort of…I don’t know. Like he doesn’t like me maybe? He's always giving Tommy looks when he thinks I can't see him.

I open the door for him and Tommy hits me with that gorgeous smile, but it’s not reaching his eyes. 

"Hey, darlin'," he says, his hands hesitating when they reach for me. 

"You don't have to be afraid to touch me, you know."

I gently take his hand, lacing my fingers with his as I pull him inside, closing the door behind him. He doesn't let go as we walk to my couch. He sits and pulls me down to him, wrapping his arms around me as I melt into him. A sigh escapes me and he pulls me in a little tighter. 

"How'd it go?"

I feel his body tense up a bit and he says nothing.

"That bad?"

He clears his throat. "Well he called me a fuckin' idiot and doesn't think I'll be a good dad," He scoffs.

"Oh, Tommy. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I had a feelin' he'd react this way."

I turn my head up to look at him, placing my hand on his broad chest. 

"I think you're going to be a great dad, Tommy."

He looks down at me, that smile I love starting to creep across his face.

"Well that's all the approval I need."

He kisses the top of my head before resting his own on mine. We sit like that a while, just cuddling and enjoying being with each other. A couple. Are we a couple? Wait. A family? I don't even know. 

"Hey, Daisy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you have dinner with me?"

"Oh. I assumed you'd eaten with Joel. I should've asked! I can make you something-" I sit up but Tommy grabs my wrist.

"Not what I meant."

"Oh."

"I meant like a…a date."

My eyes scan his face for any hint of a joke or insincerity. 

"You don't have to do that."

His eyebrows furrow together. "Do what?"

"Ask me out just because I'm carrying your child."

"No, that's not-"

I shake my head. "It’s ok, Tommy. Sometimes these things happen. But I don't expect anything from you. Romantically."

He looks sad. Why does he look sad? I just released him from his perceived sense of duty, no matter how much I wanted to scream "YES!" To his question. 

"I didn't ask you out because you're pregnant. I should've gotten off my ass and asked you out a long while ago."

"Tommy, really. It's OK."

He sits up a little straighter. "No, it isn't. I'm asking you out because… because I want to date you. Be with you. I really like you, Daisy. Always have."

I stare at him for a few moments. Surely he's kidding? It hurts me that he would jerk me around like this and that hurt is amped up with my crazy hormones. 

"Tommy, please don't fuck with me-"

"No. Wait…here." He pulls out his phone, flipping it open and pushing buttons to get to something on it. He hands it to me. 

"Read. It's between Sarah and I. She's really the only reason I have this texting shit on my plan."

I look down at the screen, reading a conversation between him and his niece. It's about nothing specific, school stuff, quips about Joel. But then I see my name. 

Sarah: can u chaperone my dance instead of dad?

Tommy: I'm not sure your dad would want that

Sarah: but u r so much cooler than him

Tommy: that's true

Sarah: so will u?

Tommy: I don't know…

Sarah: please Uncle Tommy? U can bring a date!

Tommy: I don't have a date, punk 

Sarah: what about Daisy?

Tommy: She's just a friend 

Sarah: but u r always 2gether and u always talk about her

Tommy: yeah because she's my friend

Sarah: it's different. U r different with her. Why aren't u boyfriend and girlfriend? 

Tommy: because we're friends, Sarah

Sarah: U guys obviously like each other 

Tommy: it's complicated 

Sarah: I don't think it has 2 b. Ask her out. I know she likes you 2. 

Tommy: and what do you know about that? 

Sarah: because she looks at u like u look at her. Like u hung the stars in the sky

Tommy: you need to stop reading and getting so smart

I look back up at Tommy when I finish, tears in my eyes as I see the time stamp. It was only a month after we'd met. I set the phone on my coffee table and turn back to him, straddling his lap, taking his face in my hands as I feel his hands settle on my hips. 

"This entire time?"

"I told you. Since the moment I saw you."

I bring my lips to his, kissing him hard as his hands slide up my back under my shirt, bringing me closer to him. 

"Is that a yes?" He asks, a smile in his voice. 

"Hell yes."

His face splits, a wide grin with those sparkling brown eyes staring up at me. God, he's beautiful. I lean forward and kiss him again, sliding my hands around behind his head to tug at the curls there, swallowing the moans he gives me. I sit up, pulling my shirt off and tossing it somewhere in the room, Tommy's warm hands sliding across my back and undoing my bra, throwing it across the room too. His eyes drift down to my boobs, gently taking one in his hand and lapping at the nipple. 

"Stop."

He pulls back immediately, his eyes round with worry. "What is it? Did I hurt you?"

"No. Well yes but…" I feel like crying. These fucking hormones. "My nipples are just really sensitive right now."

"Oh. I didn't know. 'M sorry. We can stop-"

"Oh no. I definitely need you inside me."

"You're gonna kill me."

He pulls me in close and kisses me harder, his tongue sliding in and out of my mouth, his fingertips ghosting across my skin, goosebumps appearing behind his touch, sending heat straight between my legs. 

I stop him and get off his lap, taking his hand and pulling him along to my room, both of us shedding our clothes before I lay on my back, Tommy crawling up my body but leaning on his side so he doesn't put any pressure on me. He grips my hip and kisses me, his hips pushing my legs further apart, his erection hard against my skin. Then he freezes, pulling back. 

"Shit."

"What? What's wrong?" I ask, worried that he's somehow hurt. 

"I don't have a condom."

I…did he forget?

"I don’t think that will be a problem."

He groans, his dick twitching against me at my words. 

"I wanna feel you, fuck do I wanna feel you. But-"

"Tommy…are you worried about getting me pregnant?"

"Well I…oh my God I'm a dumbass."

He cuts off my laugh as he pushes into me, my mouth hanging open at the feel of him. Every ridge, the pull of his skin, the way he slides inside of me, all of him and I can't remember anything else ever feeling this way. Above me, Tommy is struggling, moans and grunts coming out of him, his own mouth hanging open.

"God, you feel so fuckin' amazing and I'm trying not to be a 2 pump chump right now."

"I don't care. Fuck me, Tommy. Fuck you feel so good."

He nods but stills his hips, pressing his fingers between my thighs, rubbing little circles into my clit. I'm so pent up, hormones racing through me, that after a few moments, I can feel my orgasm building, my breathing picking up. Tommy senses this and pushes himself into me, thrusting his hips to get himself deeper. He does this twice and somehow we both come at the same time, but the sounds he makes are like background noise to the orgasm that's ripping through me. I have never had this intense of one, every wave of pleasure increased tenfold as it continues washing over me, my fingers digging into his biceps as I cry his name over and over. Eventually, I come down, sweat sticking to me as my chest heaves. Tommy pulls out of me with a hiss, quickly cleaning us up before he slides into bed, pulling me to him. 

"Feel good, darlin'?"

"It must be the pregnancy because I have never had that intense of an orgasm before. It felt like it went on forever."

"You did have an extra edge to your voice."

"But damn, Tommy. You felt fucking amazing. We are definitely doing that again."

"Does that mean you're putting out on our date?"

"You can count on it."

>>Chapter 5>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21@gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry  

#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 3

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2600+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This is the chapter where the start of my initial thought happens. Literally wanted to write one thing, but Tommy had other plans for me. If you want to know, it’s actually been in the fic moodboard since the beginning, but also check out this moodboard too. 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

<<;Chapter 2<<

“Mornin’ sunshine!” Tommy greets his grumpy brother as he walks into his kitchen, immediately raiding the refrigerator for some food. 

Joel grunts at him, taking another sip of his coffee as he watches his brother move about the room. He hadn’t seen him outside of work for a few weeks, but Joel’s truck needed a minor repair, and he’d needed a ride to work. 

“...and I really think I can close that contract. Mrs. Jones loves me, and I could probably get her to agree to those upgra-”

“You got laid.”

“-upgrades. What? Why would you say that?”

Joel narrows his eyes. “Because you’re extra…chipper…When did you have time to find someone who would let you fuck them?”

“I get around.”

Joel puts down his mug and crosses his arms, watching Tommy flit about the kitchen, resuming his conversation about Mrs. Jones and moving into one about Daisy.

“Aren’t you gonna take that girl on a date yet?” Joel blurts out, cutting Tommy off mid-sentence. 

“Who? Oh, Daisy? Nah, we’re just friends.”

Joel looks at him. “Yeah, friends who keep the condom companies in business.”

Tommy’s eyes snap to his brothers. “I never said we were fuckin-”

“Oh come on Tommy. Your entire body does this..shifty thing when you talk about her. Your eyes light up like she’s all that matters. And now? You have the “I fucked her” look on your face when you talk about her so don’t give me that crap.”

“I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”

“You didn’t tell me. I figured it out. But do me a favor and just ask that girl out already?”

Tommy shrugs. “I don’t know. But if it makes you happy, I’ll think about it.”

It’s been several months and our arrangement is going very well. I swear we’ve fucked on every surface of each of our homes, sometimes not even making it past a few steps in the door before we’re on the floor or up against a wall. When I asked him if he would attend a work party with me, he enthusiastically agreed, pushing me in the bathroom and bending me over the bathroom sink as I watched his face while he fucked me, those curls I love falling onto his forehead, some of them sticking to the sweat beading across his gorgeous skin. So things were going great. There was just one problem, a small one really.

I love him.

I’ll never tell him. I don’t want to risk losing him in any capacity, and if I’m being totally honest with myself, it would be really hard to go back to being just normal friends. I can’t get enough of him, his smile, his laugh, the jokes he cracks when we’re hanging out or when he’s buried deep inside of me, the touch of his skin on mine, the way his curls sometimes fall onto his face. He’s ruined me for other men and I’m totally ok with that.

But sometimes it makes me want to scream “What are you doing, Daisy?”

I do take solace in the fact that he hasn’t found someone either, whether from choice or not I don’t know. And that’s not something I want to ask myself. Not yet.

Shaking my head, I pull into the site lot where the project he’s working on is, walking up to the trailer and knocking, lunch bag in my hand. 

“Come in.”

I open the door and he glances up, a smile spreading across his face when he sees me.

“Hey Daisy! I wasn’t expectin’ you.”

I hold up the bag from his favorite place. “I knew you’d be working late tonight and miss burger night so,” I shake the bag, walking up to his desk and placing it down on an unoccupied spot. 

Tommy looks at me, his eyes soft when they meet mine. What is that look? Love? Nah, I’m probably projecting.

“Thank you, Daisy. That was really sweet. I didn’t expect this.”

“I brought something else.”

“Oh?” 

I walk around the desk and Tommy pushes his chair back, turning it towards me as he looks up expectantly. When I drop to my knees between his legs, his eyes grow dark.

I spend the next several minutes pulling as many sounds as I can from this man, wiping my mouth when I stand.

“Hope you enjoy lunch.”

“Is it ok if I invite Daisy to Sarah’s birthday party?”

Joel looks over at his brother from his side of the truck. “I don’t think so.”

Tommy furrows his brow. “Why? She’s been around a few times. Her and Sarah get along. "

“You take her on a proper date yet?”

“Who are you? Mom?”

Joel shakes his head. “I don’t want you bringing strange women around my daughter.”

“She’s not a strange woman. She’s my friend.”

“Any woman you’re fuckin’ but refuse to have an actual conversation with to define your relationship is being disrespected by you. And I’m not letting you set the example to my daughter that that’s ok to be treated that way.”

Tommy’s mouth falls open. “Hey, fuck you man. We are definied. Friends with benefits.”

Joel gives his brother a look. “You know there’s more to it than that. Any idiot can see it. Except you two, apparently.”

I had to go a couple of time zones away for work, hating the time I have to spend away from Tommy. Maybe it's a good thing? We are nearly always together and we aren't even together. Officially. 

The jet lag hits me hard when I get back and swear all I've done the last 2 days is sleep. On the third day, I manage to force myself from bed to take a shower and start to unpack. I have a bad habit of waiting to do that, usually from being sad the trip was over. This time, I was happy to be back so I could see Tommy, and while he did pick me up from the airport and bring me back home, he ended up leaving, demanding I get sleep and feel better. He'd dropped by a few times and brought me food, but he ended up leaving, saying he could see I was trying to stay awake when he was around and he just wanted me to rest.

I grab my toiletry bag and head into the bathroom, pulling things out of the bag and putting them away. I have a small basket under the sink where I keep my travel items. I open the door and grab it out, putting everything away. When I go to put it back, something is blocking the basket, annoying the shit out of me. I bend down to see what could possibly be blocking me from just putting my crap away. A small box of tampons had fallen from the top of the drawer set I have down there to organize other things. Rolling my eyes, I grab the box of tampons and angrily shove them where they go, pushing the basket into it’s proper spot. I close the door and stand up, stretching. Heading back into my closet, I dump the clothes from my suitcase into my laundry hamper. Even if I didn’t wear them, I’m still washing them. Shoving the suitcase in it’s storage place at the back of the closet, I close the door and sigh, glad that that was finally over.

I head to my kitchen and make a little lunch. Nothing major as I still haven’t regulated back from my trip. I’m about 7 spoonfuls into my vegetable soup when I realize something, like a puzzle piece I’d been staring at for hours that finally jumps out to slide into it’s place.

The tampons.

I shove myself back from the table and walk with purpose to my bathroom, yanking open the cabinet door and feeling around for the box of tampons. I grab it and pull it out, peering inside. Only a couple were missing, as I’d just needed a couple near the end of my last period. Which was…when exactly? 

I grab my phone off it’s charger and flip to my calendar, counting back days and realize…I’m late. I’m never late. I can set my watch to my period it’s always so precise. But…I’m not even feeling sick? Aren’t you supposed to feel nauseous?

I know it’s just jet lag, but I should grab a test to officially rule it out. Just to calm my now racing mind. I mean, Tommy and I doubled up, he with condoms and me with birth control. These things are supposed to prevent this kind of….problem.

I pull on some sneakers, not even bothering to change out of the athleisure outfit I had on, and go to the closest store that would sell what I need with the least chance of me running into someone I know. I stand in the isle, staring down what feels like a hundred rows of tests, all advertising the same thing in different ways. In the end, I decide to buy 2 in case I fuck one up. I go with something called a “pink dye test” and another that just reads it out to you in plain English. 

By the time I’m done reading the directions, my hands are shaking so bad. I don’t know why, as there’s no way I’m pregnant. The directions say it’s best to test first thing in the morning with your first pee of the day, but there’s no way I’m waiting for that. Somehow I manage to not pee all over the place, setting the sticks upside down in the wrappers and turning on the timer for 3 minutes. The longest 3 minutes of my life. I take the time to putter around my bathroom, absentmindedly cleaning off random things until the timer goes off. Ok, so when these say negative, I’ll give myself a few days to not be exhausted and, if I still am, I’ll make an appointment with my doctor. No big deal. Just ruling this out. I grab the one that just reads it to you, thinking this would be easier than trying to figure out of I was seeing 2 lines or 1. I take a deep breath and exhale, flipping the test over, my eyes focusing on the tiny box that would read out my fate.

PREGNANT

I laugh. I actually laugh out loud. And not quietly, more like a full body laugh, my head tipping back with the force of it. Which is probably not the most mature response, but this test is faulty. I would get the one faulty test in their lineup. I mean, it even says it’s not 100% on the box. I reach for the pink dye test, flipping it over, feeling the smile that was on my face start to falter as I look down.

||

Two lines. That…wait that can’t be right. I snatch the directions off the counter, eyes scanning for the part about reading the results. It says 2 lines means pregnant. It says some other things but I suddenly can’t focus, my eyes snapping back to the 2 little tests on the counter, 2 little sticks that are changing the entire course of my life. Assuming I want it. Do I want it? I don’t not want it. What am I saying? Do I really want to have a kid? Now? If I was going to have a kid with anyone, I’d want it to be Tommy. Fuck, what the hell am I going to tell Tommy?

He texts me a couple hours later to check on me and I tell him I’m feeling better but still tired and need a couple more days. He doesn’t question this and why should he? He says he’ll see me Friday, our weekly Netflix and chill night and I can’t say no. If I do, he’ll suspect something.

“She’s alive!”

Tommy smiles at me, that ear to ear grin that I find so damned endearing as he pulls me in for a tight hug, kissing the side of my head. 

“I missed you, Daisy. You feelin’ better?”

“Eh. I’m not sure.”

“Still?” He crooks his finger and tilts my jaw up, his eyes roaming over my face and I almost crack then.

“Your eyes do look…odd. You need to go to the hospital or somethin’? I can drive-”

“No. No, I’ll be ok.”

He doesn’t look convinced as I pull myself from his grip, every inch of me begging to be closer. We get the food set up and I manage to eat some, nerves killing my appetite. We settle onto the couch and he pulls me up next to him, resting his head on mine. As much as I don’t want to move, I have to tell him. It’s eating me alive and I can’t…I need him on this. I need to talk to him, my best friend.

“Hey, Tommy?”

“Mmm?”

“I need to tell you something.”

He lifts his head and pauses the movie, turning his head to give me his full attention. My eyes meet his, soft and warm, and I almost choke. It’s killing me to break this happy buzz he has going on. 

“I…I don’t really know how to tell you this-”

“You found someone else?” He chuckles, but it’s nervous, like he isn’t quite sure, his eyes bouncing between mine.

“What? No, never.”

“Phew! Well then, darlin’, anythin’ else you have to say can’t be bad.”

“It’s big.”

“So am I.” He waggles his eyebrows and I punch his arm.

“I’m trying to be serious, Tommy.”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” He pretends to lock his lips and hand me the key, his big eyes settling on mine.

I take a deep breath. It’s now or never.

“I’m p-pregnant.”

Tommy laughs, his body shaking with it, his head tilting back with it, very similar to my initial response and I can’t help the soft smile that appears on my face for a second or two at this parallel.

“Ok, ok, Daisy. Pregnancy isn’t something to joke about.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.”

His laughter starts to fade, his eyes still meeting mine as I will him to finally realize what I’m saying. The moment it does, I can see it - the smile dropping, his eyes growing wide, and he starts nervously stammering.

“I-I…uh wh-what…uh…when….why-”

“I’ve been feeling exhausted since my trip, realized I hadn’t had my period, took a few tests to rule it out, and…” I gesture to my stomach. His eyes flick down to where I gestured, somehow growing wider, as if he could already see a belly. Which is crazy because I’m too early. Right?

I need to read a book.

“P-pregnant? But that makes no sense! I suited up and you - you said you were on birth control.”

“I am. Well, was. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped taking the pill. And no, I never missed a dose. Always took it on time.”

“Then h-how?”

“Sometimes these things just…fail. I guess. I mean, it does say like 99% effective.”

His breathing has picked up, his chest starting to heave with the weight of it all. He starts glancing around the room, looking for any indication that I was joking. When he finds none, he stands abruptly.

“I-I can’t be here. I gotta..I gotta go.”

“Tommy-”

But he doesn’t stop, tripping over his feet and yanking open the door after fiddling with the lock, slamming it behind him as he all but runs towards where he must have parked his truck.

I don’t know what I expected. I guess maybe more…anger? That wasn’t like him. Talking? Maybe. Nervous support at least? Something. But Tommy storming out like I’ve told him he has 5 seconds before I'm dunking him in a tank full of piranhas? I didn’t expect that. The man was in Desert Storm - I thought he couldn’t get freaked out. When he gets back, I’ll have to ask him about that.

He will come back, right?

>>Chapter 4>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry

#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 2

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2400+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This started as a simple idea for Tommy. He had different ideas and I can’t say no to those freckles and smile. Thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for helping me get unstuck. You always have such great ideas!

And a big thanks to @wyn-n-tonic for helping me form thoughts and give this a little shape. I hope I can be a quarter as talented as you one day!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described. Divider made by @benkeibear

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

<<Chapter 1<<

“Would you rather never be able to wear pants or never be able to wear shorts?”

Tommy laughs, his entire body shaking it with it. “What kind of question is that?”

I smirk at him. “Just answer it.”

“I think you know the answer.”

“You do love your Daisy Dukes.”

Tommy pokes my rib and I flinch, giggling as I pull away from him. “Hey don’t attack me!”

Tommy lunges towards me, fingers outstretched as I scream, not moving fast enough to avoid his waggling fingers. They find their way into my sides, tears streaming down my face as I giggle uncontrollably, my body twitching to try and get away, but Tommy just pulls me in closer. 

“S-s-STOP!” I throw my entire body backwards on the couch to try and get away, but Tommy comes with me, pressing his body into mine. My laughs slowly subside as he stops tickling me, his eyes switching between mine and my lips. I swear he can feel my heart beating through my chest. 

“W-would you rather be balding but fit or overweight with a head full of hair?”

“Way to kill the mood.” Tommy was smiling, but he lifts himself off of me, extending his hand to help me up. 

“Which one, Tommy?”

He puffs out some air, eyes shifting up like he’s thinking. “This is a hard one. I mean, look at me.” He gestures to himself and I can’t help but look for just a brief moment. 

“Yes, yes. Very hot. Answer the question.”

“Have you seen this hair? I ain’t given’ it up.”

“That’s fair.”

We resume watching the movie and I lay my head on his broad shoulder, hoping that he can’t hear how my heart still beats through my chest.

It’s been the week from hell. Any minor inconvenience happened, mixing in with semi major issues, all contributing to my stress levels being over the top, even more so than normal. 

It’s Friday night and, like clockwork, Tommy knocks on my door at 7:30pm. He is annoyingly prompt. I’d almost cancelled tonight, but he's the one thing I look forward to every week.

“Hey Daisy!” Tommy is way too chipper for a Friday night after a week of hard work.

“Hey.”

He whistles. “That bad, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

“Good thing I brought this then.” Tommy holds up a case of beer. “I’ve cleared my schedule for a good hangover tomorrow if needed.”

I can’t help the small smile that creeps across my face. “Thanks. Pizza just got here about 5 minutes before you did.” 

“Great. I’m starvin’. Oh, I managed to snag Gladiator for tonight.”

“Pop it in.”

We sit and eat, making commentary on the movie. But no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to at least hide my frustration. Something that I was desperately trying to hide from Tommy - he doesn’t need to deal with my shit on top of his. Unfortunately, I’m not as slick as I think, and Tommy is way sweeter than he should be. Maybe laying on his shoulder wasn’t such a great idea. The movie quiets, dialogue happening between some of the characters, and Tommy leans his head on mine.

“You ok?”

I sigh. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t sound fine.”

“It’s just work.”

“Stressing you out again?”

“Just one of those weeks where anything that could go wrong, did. And anything that could take as long as humanly possible, did.”

“You need to let out some of that stress. It’s not healthy.”

I laugh. “Duh. Why didn’t I think of that?”

He’s quiet for a moment and I think I hurt his feelings. But before I can apologize, he speaks quietly.

“You know what you need? You need to get laid. You’re not getting any which really doesn’t help with the stress.”

What did he just say? Did he just suggest I get laid to calm down? Wait, is he offering?

“Yeah well, that may be, but in order to get laid, I’d have to have a boyfriend.”

“Not necessarily.”

“Are you suggesting I go find some random guy to hookup with?”

“N-no. Not some random guy.”

“Then who?”

He pauses. “Me.”

What?

I sit up, turning to stare at him, hoping my mouth isn’t hanging open like it is in my head. He chuckles nervously, eyes darting around the room, barely staying on me, his hands rubbing down his thighs over his jeans.

“You know what? That was stupid. I didn’t mean-”

"We'd have to set some ground rules."

Tommy's eyes snap to mine. "You..You're serious?"

"I am."

Tommy shifts in his seat, straightening himself out while trying to look chill and relaxed.

"Like, uh, like what-what exactly?"

"Hhmm… well, we still remain friends."

"That's a given."

“If one person wants to leave immediately…after, that’s ok. No obligation to stay.”

“Sounds good.”

"We can't get jealous if the other person wants to date someone else."

He’s silent a moment. “Seems fair.”

“And…oh, if either of us wants to call it off, it’s off. No hard feelings.”

“Oh, I can’t promise I won’t have hard feelings,” Tommy smirks at his joke as I roll my eyes, a smile on my face.

“Deal?” I stick my hand out.

Tommy looks at my hand. “Oh darlin’. That’s not how we’re sealin’ this deal.”

A rush of wet goes straight between my thighs and I try to swallow back the sound I just made. 

Tommy chuckles darkly while he shakes my now sweaty hand. “Deal.”

He pulls me close, his large, warm hand coming up to cradle my cheek, fingers wrapping around the back of my head and winding their way into my hair. His lips are just above mine, his breath warm and hot on mine. 

“Are you sure, darlin’?”

My head is full of desire, Tommy’s scent surrounding me, his hand grounding me to him, but I manage a nod.

“Yes,” I sigh.

He presses his lips to mine, soft and warm, tasting slightly of tobacco, as they gently push mine apart, his tongue sliding into my mouth. My hands slide up his broad chest, settling there for a moment as we both moan and get lost in a kiss that feels like we had both had been waiting for.

I throw my leg over his lap and straddle him, my hands sliding up to his face to tug at his curls at the back of his head. He moans and I do too, rolling my hips to get some kind of friction on my rapidly heating cunt. Tommy’s hands grip my hips, guiding me and helping me grind down more as I whine into his mouth and feel him harden under his jeans. 

I throw my head back, gasping out his name as he kisses my chest, pulling at the hem of my shirt. I get the hint, yanking my shirt from me and throwing it across the room, my fingers already undoing my bra clasp before my shirt hits the floor, the bra joining it a moment later.

“Oh shit!” I cry out, as Tommy latches onto one of my nipples, sucking, licking, and nibbling as he still guides my hips to roll over his jean–clad erection. He switches to the other side, moaning when I tug his hair more. 

Suddenly, he stands, sliding his hands under my ass as I wrap my legs around him, our lips finding each other as he marches down the hall to my room, kicking the door open. I giggle as he tosses me on the bed, grabbing my ankles and yanking me towards the edge of it. A quick glance up at me for a final confirmation, and my enthusiastic nod has him undoing my pants, quickly sliding them off and tossing them behind him. He stares down at my panties and I’m grateful that I actually wore cute ones today instead of my regular "I don't give a fuck" underwear. He reaches for my pant line but I stop him.

“Wait…you have entirely too many clothes on.”

He smirks, his eyes darkening even more. “You’re absolutely right.”

He sheds his shirt and while I knew how he was built, it was never in this situation. Outside of my fantasies, of course. He undoes the button on his jeans, sliding them down and off, balancing on each foot to take off his socks, both of us giggling as he nearly falls over in doing so. Then he’s back by me, fingers dancing at the hem of my panties for a moment before he hooks his fingers in, sliding them down and off, his eyes never leaving my pussy.

“Fuck, you’re prettier’n I imagined.”

He leans his head down, but I put my hand out to stop him. He looks up at me from between my legs, concern on his face.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Do you not want me to?”

I can feel the heat coming off my cheeks because yes, I very much want him to do that. “No, of course I do. Like, I really do….But we agreed to sex and you don’t have to do all of…this.” I wave my hand around, aiming it between my thighs.

“Darlin’, we agreed to be friends with benefits. Not friends with some benefits. You get my dick, but you also get my mouth too.”

And before I can say anything else, he licks up the center of me and I whine, my back pushing further into the bed as he pries my legs open wider, using his broad shoulders to hold them open. He licks at me like he’d been dying to do this the entire time we’ve known each other, sucking gently and nibbling at my inner thigh. His finger comes up to my entrance as he rubs slow, small circles there, gathering up my arousal before slowly pushing in. I cry out, hands fisting in the sheets as he pulls his finger out, adding another as he pushes in, curling his finger and tapping until he found the spot I desperately hoped he would find. 

“There! Oh shit, there!”

He scissors his fingers, licking and sucking at my clit and my hand flies out, gripping those beautiful curls. I look down at him between my thighs and he must feel my eyes on him. He looks up at me and smirks, his tongue darting out to lick at my clit and that’s all it takes to have my thighs shaking, twitching under his shoulders as I cry out random words. Once I come down, he crawls up my body, leaving little kisses on my skin as he goes, sucking on a spot on my neck as he grinds his still cloth covered dick into my soaked pussy. 

“You want it rough or slow, darlin’?”

“You have multiple settings?”

He chuckles. “Yes, ma’am. Now, how do you want to be fucked today?”

He’s going to kill me.

“Tommy, you can rail me as fast or as slow as you want, so long as you make me forget my hard week. I won’t break.”

“Fuck, darlin’, you may just kill me yet.” He pulls back, getting off the bed and reaching for the hem of his boxer briefs. “Safe word is tomatoes.”

Before I can question it, he slides his boxers down and kicks them off, standing upright in his full, naked, broad chested, well endowed glory. He smirks when he sees me staring at him. Tommy crawls up my body again, his lips finding mine as he slides his large cock through my folds. He pauses at my leaking entrance, pulling back to look at me. His hand comes up to grip my chin and when I look at him, he slowly pushes inside of me. 

While he’s not porn star large, he’s definitely the most endowed man I’ve ever slept with and damn does he know what he’s doing. I can feel every inch of him filling me up, pushing at the back of me, his breath hot on my face as he watches it contort in pleasure. He pulls out and pushes in slowly a few more times to allow me to adjust before he snaps his hips, pushing himself inside even further and I cry out. He sets an increasingly rough pace, snapping his hips against mine, adding that extra thrust that I swear is going to bruise me and I don’t even care. He turns my head to the side and nibbles at my earlobe, kissing down my neck gently, in stark contrast to the rough, deep thrusts he’s fucking me with and it’s all too much and not enough, my legs wrapping around him, willing him to do more. He pulls back slightly, pushing my legs up and hooking them under his arms as he continues to rail me at this new angle, hitting multiple spots simultaneously. 

“Oh God, Tommy!” I scream his name as I come, my hands fisting the sheets, head thrown back, nearly buried in the mattress. 

He keeps the pace but brings a hand up to my clit, rubbing circles there, only needing a few moments before he coaxes another orgasm from me, this one harder than the last as I scream his name again.

“Fuck, Tommy, fucking come inside of me!”

“Fuck!” Tommy rams his hips into me a few more sporadic times as he comes, panting out heavy words as he fills me up, our heavy breaths the only sound in the near silent room. 

He pulls out of me with a hiss, walking into my bathroom and getting a couple of washcloths wet. He comes back out and cleans me up, chuckling as my thighs twitch when he dabs at my overstimulated cunt. He chucks them in my hamper and comes back to the bed, sitting on it next to me, where I haven’t moved since he got off of me. 

“You ok, darlin’? Forget your hard week?”

“Mmmhmm,” I say, my eyes heavy with post fucking bliss. “You’re amazing at that, Tommy.”

“Ah, I do alright.”

“A Fucking King.”

He laughs. “I’m making a shirt.”

He slides into bed next to me, pulling me next to him as he wraps his body around mine.

“You cuddle too?”

“Only when I’m cold.” I can feel him holding back a laugh.

“Well, if your cock gets cold, and I’m asleep, you have my permission to put it inside of me.”

I feel his dick twitch behind me. “I may hold you to that.”

Tommy did take me up on my offer, softly thrusting into me from behind as he rubs slow circles into my clit. I wake to an orgasm, quietly moaning his name as he comes again, biting my shoulder as he does. 

But as we make breakfast, Tommy laughing and joking around, still trying to tickle me as we flip the pancakes, it hits me.

I am totally fucked, in more ways than one.

>>Chapter 3>>

General Taglist:

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#tommy miller #gabriel luna #The last of us #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Then and Now

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 4500+

Rating: Fluff mostly, except for one minor scene, but I'm leaving my regular blog warning here…Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: thanks to @marvelousmermaid for the prompt and photo inspo! I've been dying to write Tommy and fluff sounds perfect!

Please excuse any typos as I'm writing this from my phone, which I hate doing. 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

This had been the work week from hell. Anything that could go wrong or take the most time possible, did. To say I was exhausted would be an understatement. 

I jam the keys in the ignition to my car, flipping off my place of work, immensely grateful I have the next few days in a row off. My cell rings and I groan, assuming it would be work trying to drag me back in because apparently I'm the only one who knows anything. A quick glance at the screen shows me I'm right. 

"Look, I'm off the clock. I'm taking my HR approved time off so figure it out or I'll see you in 3 days."

I hang up the phone, putting the car into drive and pulling out to the main road. I must have blanked out because the next thing I know, I'm parked in front of my boyfriend Tommy's house. 

I sit there for a couple minutes, completely puzzled by my arrival here before a soft knock at my window causes me to jump. 

"Sorry, honey! I was just checkin' on you."

My head turns and I meet his eyes, deep brown and full of concern and love. My entire body relaxes when I see his face and, embarrassingly, I feel tears start to make their way down my cheeks. I hadn't seen him in nearly 2 weeks, a work trip for him butted right up against a week from hell for me. 

I open my door and he's there, kneeling in front of me, his large hands on my thighs, slowly rubbing them up and down in a comforting manner. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" His eyes are wide and worried. 

I shake my head, willing the tears to stop as I wipe at the ones already fallen. "Nothing. Just a hard week."

"You wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head. "Not really."

He nods, rubbing his thumbs into my thighs. "Well let me know if you change your mind."

"Yeah. Ok."

We sit like that for a few more seconds before he speaks again. 

"You're staying for dinner."

It's not a question but also not a strict command. It's then I realize how bizarre this must seem to him, my showing up unannounced at his house in tears. 

"Shit, Tommy I'm sorry. I just.. I had a really long week and I blanked out and ended up here. I can g-"

"Don't you dare say go. Come on, honey. Let's get you inside."

One look into his eyes and he has me, those puppy eyes overriding any feeling I have where I don't want to be a burden. I nod and he smiles wide, standing with a groan as he extends his hand to me. I take it, allowing myself to be pulled up and out of the car. Pure instinct takes over and I nuzzle right into his large chest, feeling his arms close around me, hands rubbing my back. 

"How's a bath sound?"

"Yes please." Tommy has one of those giant soaking tubs where I can fit my entire body and my boobs under the water at the same time. I told him once if he ever broke up with me, I was taking the tub.

A quick kiss to the top of my head and Tommy leads me inside, tossing my bag on the entryway table as he guides me to his room. He sits me on the edge of the bed, cupping my face with his large, warm hands. 

"I'll be right back, honey. Just gonna pour you that bath, ok?"

"Ok."

I hear the water turn on and Tommy returns, kneeling in front of me again, helping me take off my clothes. It's not sexual but tender, Tommy taking great care to make sure I know this is for me and he expects nothing. 

He helps me into the tub, a nice warm bubble bath with the special soap I had left there. He helps me settle and stands there a moment, a stray curl falling forward towards his eyes. 

"I'm gonna whip us up a couple of steaks. Please don't drown."

I smile up at him. "With the promise of a world famous Tommy Miller steak? Not a chance I'd miss that."

He flashes me that smile, lighting up the bathroom. "I'll come back and check on you."

The bath helps to calm me, all the aches slowly leaching out of my body, the tension headache I'd been nursing all week with pain meds completely disappears. Once the water starts to cool, I get out, wrapping myself in one of his towels. It smells like him, wood and cologne and something distinctly him. I pull the towel a little tighter and head into the bedroom, pausing when I remember I have no clean clothes. Then I see them on the bed, one of his shirts and a pair of boxers laid out for me. Smiling, I pull them on, tossing the towel into the hamper before heading downstairs. 

He's standing just outside on the deck, his back to the sliding door as he concentrates on grilling. I slide open the door and walk up behind him. Without turning, he addresses me. 

"How was the bath?"

"Relaxing. Thank you. And thanks for the clothes."

"As much as I'd love to see you walk around naked, I thought you'd appreciate something to cover up with."

He glances towards me and does a double take, his eyes roaming across my body, or what he can see of it under his shirt. His pupils get wider and his eyes darker, swallowing hard. 

"You-you look good in my clothes."

"You should see yourself in them." I run my hand down his back, holding it at his lower back. He shivers for a moment and then shakes his head. 

"As much as I'd love to get in them with you, I want you to relax. This is about you, not me."

"Well what if I want you to?"

He lets out a dark chuckle. "Raincheck? I can see how hard you've been workin' and I know you're hungry."

I've never had a man turn down sex before. But it's not rejection - he's trying to take care of me how he can. 

Before I can reply, he's taking the steaks off the grill, setting one each on a plate where vegetable skewers already sit. Everything looks mouth wateringly delicious. 

"I may not be able to cook much of anything, but I can grill up a steak and veggies."

"Fuck yes you can."

Idle chatter while we eat, Tommy telling me about this asshole contractor him and Joel are forced to work with.

"It's only until the end of the month, right?" I ask. 

"We're hoping we can drop him come October, yeah. September is going to drag on though. I don't know how Joel will make it another 2 weeks."

"Isn't his birthday soon?"

He nods. "Yeah. Sarah's got something planned I'm sure."

—----

The next morning, I wake to the smell of coffee and bacon, faint sounds of Tommy in the kitchen gently bringing me awake. I'm pleasantly sore, Tommy having spent some time between my thighs after I nearly begged him to, saying it would help me relax. And it did. 

I stretch, feeling the soreness and remembering the night when a quiet knock raps on the door. 

"You awake, honey?"

"I aaaammm," I yawn.

I hear him chuckle and when he opens the door, I see that smile I love so much. 

"Mornin' honey." Tommy enters the room carrying a tray of food, eggs and bacon with a mug of coffee and a flower set on the side. 

I sit up. "What's all this?"

Tommy walks over and sets the tray down over my lap, that smile stretching wider as he takes my face in. "I made you breakfast in bed. Bacon, extra crispy, scrambled eggs with Pico de Gallo, and coffee the way you like."

I pick up the flower, smiling. "Is this from outside?"

He laughs nervously. "It…is. It's a weed I'm sorry."

I laugh, touching his hand that was leaning on the bed. "I love it, Tommy. All of this smells amazing. You're joining me, right?"

"If you want me to."

"I always do."

Tommy sits on the bed next to me, eyes bright and wide as he watches me take a few bites. 

"Is it good?"

"Delicious," I say with my mouth full of food. 

There's my favorite smile again as he slaps his thigh. "Good. I wanted to make sure you had a good breakfast in you."

I cock my head to the side. "You sound like you're preparing me for something. Do we have plans for the day?"

He tries to hide his smile, instantly looking guilty. "Maybe."

"Tommy Miller, what do you have planned?" I can't hide the smile from my voice so I shove more food in my mouth to compensate. 

"You'll just have to wait and see."

"I have no clean clothes."

A large hand comes up to rub at the back of his neck. "Actually…." He gets up and walks to his closet, disappearing inside. I hear some rummaging and he remerges with a bag, handing it out to me. I take it and Tommy removes the finished tray of food so I have room. Opening the bag, I pull out a beautiful sundress, a floral leafy pattern embroidered onto the outside.

"Oh Tommy! This is…" I'm speechless. 

"Do you like it? I wasn't sure but I know you like plants and I thought that color would look good on you." 

His eyes are wide and round, like a puppy seeking approval. I set the dress down and cup his face, making sure he looks at me. 

"It's beautiful, Tommy. Absolutely perfect. Thank you." 

I pull him to me and kiss him, deepening it the longer it lasts. Soft moans between us,, Tommy pushing me onto my back, his body hovering over mine. I wrap my legs around his hips and he grunts, grinding into me once before breaking the kiss, pressing his forehead to mine. 

"As much as I want to take you right now, we're on a schedule."

I raise an eyebrow as he pulls his head from mine. "Tommy Miller following a schedule? This must be serious."

He smiles gently, tucking hair behind my ear. "I just want things to be perfect for you. I know I'm not the easiest at times."

I brush a stray curl from his forehead. "You are perfect to me. I wish you wouldn't doubt yourself so much." 

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"I ask myself that same question every day."

—----

An hour later and we're on the road, mysterious bags loaded up into the back of his truck. I ask him repeatedly where we're going but he just gives me that same impish smile and says it's a surprise.

We pulled into the parking lot for the Blanton Art Museum, which I had been dying to check out but never made the time in the 10 years since I moved to Austin. 

"You remembered?"

Tommy parks the truck and shifts in his seat to look at me. "Of course, honey. Ready to go in?"

"Absolutely."

We spent the next few hours roaming the museum, Tommy not paying the slightest attention to any of the actual artwork as he was too busy taking in my face. When I asked him what he was looking at, he said "The most beautiful piece in this place." I rolled my eyes but smiled, continuing on our way. 

Lunch was street tacos from a food truck, one of Tommy's favorite spots that he'd constantly talk about. And for good reason - they were delicious.

We get back in his truck, starting to drive out of the city. 

"We got a couple hours ahead of us, honey. You need a stop?"

"Not now. Where are we going?"

His lips curve up at the edges ever so slightly. "It's a surprise."

"It's a good thing I trust you, Tommy Miller, or a girl might get worried."

He laughs, chest and shoulders shaking with it. "Oh you should always be worried about me."

A couple hours later, he turns off onto a nearly hidden dirt drive, winding its way through trees and bramble. And then it clears, opening up to a beautiful cabin style house with a lake that I can see through the trees lining the back yard. 

The house was exactly what Tommy had been talking about with me for months on end, asking my opinions on everything from architecture to the paint on the walls. It's like he reached in my brain and made it real. 

"Tommy, this is…beautiful! Do the clients love it?"

His eyebrows pinch together. "Clients?"

"Yeah. Didn't you build this for someone?"

He's quiet a moment, studying me. "I did."

"And they're just letting you use it?"

"They won't mind. Come on! Time for a tour." 

He offers me his hand getting out of the truck and I take it, loving the way his skin immediately warms mine. He doesn't drop my hand, using it instead to pull me to him and giving me a gentle kiss. 

"I love you, honey."

"I love you too."

He leads me inside, his hand never leaving mine as he starts the tour. The house has 4 bedrooms and bathrooms, 2 offices, a large garage, beautiful windows that open to the outside all along the back wall of the open kitchen and living room, with a dining area. The entire place is furnished and absolutely breathing taking. 

"Tommy, this is… you've really outdone yourself!"

He walks up behind me, having dropped my hand to let me explore the house. He wraps his arms around me, kissing my cheek. 

"You like it?" 

"Uh, yeah! You sure the owners won't mind we're here?"

"They're good. I promise. Now wait here a moment while I unload the truck."

I nod, eyes still sweeping over the beautiful brick fireplace in the living room. Tommy takes a few trips to bring in the mysterious bags, setting some at the edge of the hallway that leads to some bedrooms and the rest in the kitchen. He closes the front door behind him when he's done and starts to take things out of the bags in the kitchen. Lots of food, fresh veggies and meats, and..a picnic basket. He puts the food away and turns back to me, grabbing the basket. 

"Hungry? I have a place I wanna show you out back. And I.. I made us a…well, a picnic." He holds up the basket, a slight pink settling on his cheeks like he's embarrassed about it. 

"You made me a picnic?"

"It's… not much but I thought it would be nice. If you don't want to, that's fine-"

I grab his shirt and pull him down to me, my lips pressed against his as I squeeze his shirt tighter. "It's perfect."

"Ok well you better stop with that or we'll never eat."

"Well if that's the case-"

He puts his finger over my lips to prevent me from kissing him, mock shock on his face. 

"Are you trying to take advantage of me, miss?"

"I most certainly am."

His demeanor shifts, a dark lust settling in his already dark eyes. "Save it for later." 

That voice was commanding and it send a shiver of anticipation through me. 

He leads me out back where a nice patio and firepit sit, past the small in ground pool and through the trees at the back. You can see the lake clearly once you pass the trees, a little dock jutting out into the quiet lake. 

He spreads out a flannel blanket and sets the basket down, offering me his hand to help me sit. Once I do, he sets up the picnic, which turns out to be a beautiful board of meats and cheeses, grapes and crackers. A bottle of wine and 2 glasses are unloaded as well, the cork popping when Tommy opens it and pours a glass each. 

We talk about the house and he tells me it was important to the owners that it was self sufficient. They have generators that use the power of the river a quarter mile away, a greenhouse, and 2 cellars, one specification for growing root vegetables. I perk up at that as I've always wanted my own garden and to be self sufficient. 

He explains they're waiting on chickens and such and that a barn will be built on the property to house all of the animals. 

"They appreciated my point of view as a veteran too. Said I would know what is really needed for survival."

"Were they preppers or something?"

Tommy shakes his head. "Not exactly. Just wanted some place where they didn't have to worry about an electric bill I suppose."

"Wouldn't that be nice?"

"You'd live out here?"

I look around, sighing slightly. "I think I would. Especially if I had the right people with me." 

The more we chat, the more nervous Tommy becomes, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans and stuttering a lot, which is not like him. 

"Tommy… you ok?"

"What? Oh. Yeah I'm… great. More than great really."

"Are you sure? Because you look like you might throw up."

He chuckles, slightly nervous. "I love you, so much, honey. You know that, right?"

"I do…"

"Then that will make this a little easier."

He sits up, shifting his weight to his good knee as he kneels in front of me. Reaching in his pocket, he pulls out a small, black box. 

"I have loved you since the moment I met you. You never judge me for anythin' and always let me be me. You've stuck with me through the nightmares and the good times. You're always there for me. And I hope you'll always let me be there for you too."

He opens the box where a beautiful ring sits, exactly my style.

"Will you marry me?"

Tears cloud my vision as I nod instantly, eyes shifting from his to the ring and back.

"I need a verbal confirmation, honey."

"Oh sorry, YES!"

The widest smile I've ever seen spreads across his face, and yet his eyes still contain doubt, as if he wasn't worthy of love. "You will?"

"You've had me since the moment I saw you, Tommy. I love you."

He takes my hand and slides the ring on gently. I pull him to me, laying back as my fingers pick at the edge of his shirt, finding skin there. He grunts, holding himself above me, kissing me deeply as if I would change my mind if he didn't. 

"Oh there's one more thing, honey."

"There's more??"

"Remember how I told you the owners of the house wouldn't mind if we used it?"

"Yeah…"

"Well…that's because I..well we, are the owners. If you'd like?"

"You mean…we would own this place?"

"Only if you want to."

I plant my hands on either side of his face, bringing him down to kiss me. "What did I do to deserve you, Tommy Miller?"

"Must have been something bad."

He smirks as I smack him playfully. "I would love this house."

"Then it's ours."

—----

We had planned for a spring wedding here at our house, only wanting family and a handful of close friends to attend. 

Of course that all changed just a couple weeks after Tommy had proposed. When the world went to shit.

I was at the cabin, bringing some boxes of stuff and more foods. I had the brilliant idea to start canning, so I brought along what I had made so far, along with other odds and ends. We had decided I would move in with Tommy at his place in the city and we would come to the cabin when we had time off.

It's very remote, so I didn't think anything of it when I couldn't find a TV station broadcasting anything. I just grabbed my book and headed off to bed. 

A few hours later, I hear the door downstairs fly open and voices float up to me. Instantly I recognize Tommy's voice, but that's not the one I'm listening to. 

It's Joel. The sounds he's making are unrecognizable, virtually inhuman. I have never heard someone make those sounds before then. They dug into me, pulling at every fiber of my being and I lunged from the bed, practically running downstairs, taking them 2 at a time. 

Joel and Tommy are in the living room, both on the ground, crumbled into each other. Tommy is holding Joel, rocking back and forth and saying things to him that I can't discern. Tears are streaming down both their faces and I realize they're both covered in blood, Joel bleeding more from his side as if he'd been shot and it had missed.

It's then I realize Sarah is missing. 

—----

20 years has passed since that day. We've been through so much shit, but so has everyone. Joel eventually left us to do his own thing, and Tommy and I eventually found a place called Jackson in Wyoming and settled down. We did get married there, with mountains as our backdrop instead of our lake house.

It had been a long week, the crops were being harvested and we were behind on preparing for the winter ahead. Tommy and I both had been working our hands raw to get Jackson ready for the season, barely having time for each other due to exhaustion. 

A couple more weeks pass in this manner before a day off. Maria, who ran Jackson, insisted I take a day, as I was always the first to show up and the last to leave. And, as she lovingly said, "You're not getting any younger." 

Light shines in through the window, the curtains blowing in the cool, early fall breeze let in by the propped window. Yawning, I stretch, hand automatically moving to Tommy, except my hand lands on an empty bed. 

Sitting up, I rub my eyes, looking down at the empty space. Just then I hear clanging in the kitchen, followed by swearing. I hear his footsteps on the hard floors, our bedroom door being pushed open with a gentle nudge of his hip. 

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry honey."

"You didn't. Everything ok?"

"All good. Although we may be down a pan."

I chuckle and he moves towards the bed, a tray full of food in his hands.

"What's all this?" I ask, mouth watering slightly.

"You've been workin' so hard and I know your shoulder has been acting up. I wanted you to relax today."

"Tommy. You didn't need to do this."

"I know. And yet, here I am."

He smiles, curls falling forward as he sets the tray across my lap. It's got bacon and eggs, little tomatoes and onions cut up and added in. 

"This looks delicious, Tommy. Thank you."

"Welcome, honey." He leans forward to kiss me, mustache tickling my lips. 

"You're joining me?" I ask and he nods. 

"If that's ok?"

I pull him closer, fingers clutching at his shirt. He chuckles as he scoots closer to me. 

"Ok ok I get the hint."

We finish breakfast and lay in bed, tray put aside, and check in with each other. It's something we try to do at least weekly, wanting to be involved in each other's lives but also to make sure we have time for each other. You'd think there would be a ton of time in the apocalypse, but it's hard when survival is on the line. 

"Ok time to get dressed, honey."

"Well that's a first - trying to get me in clothes and not out of them."

He smiles like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "I'd love to have you out of them but we're expected somewhere."

I cuddle further into his chest. "Can't we just stay here instead?"

A rumble vibrates his chest and he hugs me tighter. "I want to, honey, but we're on a schedule."

"Isn't it our day off?"

He kisses the top of my head. "Just come on."

Groaning, I get up and dressed, Tommy dressing as well. He offers me his arm as we walk out of our home, walking me down several streets until we arrive at the school.

"What are we doing here?" I ask. 

He pulls me inside and I gasp. The entire school had been transformed into an art gallery, pictures painted and drawn by the students of Jackson. Little messages to us both are pinned next to each of them, explaining what the pictures were about. I'm absolutely speechless. 

"Did…did you do this, Tommy?"

He nods. "I did. I know you miss the art galleries and now we have one."

"I… I don't know what to say."

"I love you, honey." He kisses me and we spend more time looking at the pictures before heading out. But he turns away from our home and heads towards the barns on the top of the main hill. 

We arrive at the stables and he hitches a horse to a cart, extending a hand to help me up. He loads a couple of baskets into the back before jumping up himself, grabbing the reigns and leading the horse out of the barn. 

"It's pointless to ask where we're going, isn't it?" 

He nods. "You'll see soon."

An hour or so later, we appear at the lake, a secluded area that we've been to before. It's always gorgeous here and even more so now that some of the trees have decided to start fall a little early.

He helps me down from the cart and grabs the baskets, spreading out the picnic before motioning to me to sit. It's simple sandwiches and veggies, but he's also somehow managed to get a piece of chocolate and my eyes grow wide.

"Where did you score that?"

"Traded with the last caravan that came through." 

"Tommy, this…this was a perfect day. Thank you." 

We eat in silence for a few moments. 

"Do you know why I chose today?"

I wrack my brain. "Honestly I've been going non stop, I couldn't even tell you the date."

He cups my face with one of his large, warm hands. "You have been. Which is part of the reason for this day. But also… I proposed to you on this day, so many years ago, before…" He gestures around. 

"Oh, Tommy." I can't help the tears forming in my eyes. "I'm so sorry I didn't realize what day it was-"

He puts a finger to my lips. "None of that. I just wanted to do somethin' special. I love you, honey. I'm so grateful that we've made it together and I love spending my life with you."

The tears fall now and he uses his thumbs to brush them from my cheeks. Pulling me to him, he kisses me before gently pushing me back into the blanket. I nuzzle into his chest and he holds me to him as we watch the sunset, somehow together after the end of the world.

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage!(It is not required in any way!)

—---

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#tommy miller #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #The last of us #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters #gabriel luna character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Never Stopped Loving You - Part 2

I Never Stopped Loving You - Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC “Catie”

Word Count: 2500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I just had to write this part 2! It's all fluff and a little heart hurt. 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

<<I Never Stopped Loving You - Part 1

"I just found her. I don't want to lose her so soon." Joel’s eyes are round and worried, tears that he refuses to let fall are building up at the corners.

Benny, Poppy’s long time boyfriend, had finally come to us 4 months after Joel and Ellie moved into Jackson to ask our permission to marry her. It’s not tradition anymore, but Poppy had read it in a book and mentioned how romantic it sounded, so naturally, Benny had to do it. He’d asked Tommy too, as he had been like a father to Poppy since we moved here 10 years ago. I had said yes right away, but Joel clenched his jaw shut, a gruff “No” falling from his downturned lips. I smiled at Benny, telling him to give us some time and sending him out the door.

"She's 20, Joel."

"That's young"

"It is, but not for this world. Lives are cut short every day, so when 2 people love each other, they get married."

His broad shoulders slump, slightly defeated. "... I just got here."

"She's not going anywhere, Joel. Just a few houses down."

His jaw clenches, thoughts racing behind his brown eyes.

"What about this Benny guy?"

"He's a sweet kid. Too much energy to know what to do with, but he loves our daughter more than himself. You know he technically already asked her to marry him."

Joel’s eyes snap to mine. "He what? After making that big of a fuss of asking us-"

"When we first moved here. Poppy was 10, nearly 11 and she had never been around other kids, let alone attend actual school and have neighbors or other people around. Her whole life had been Lucia and I. Benny introduced himself the first day and they became fast friends. I think it was that first week he asked her to marry him."

"What did she say?"

"She laughed and said 'I'm 10. What do I wanna get married for?'"

"Good for her." 

"I think there was a bit about "stinky boys" too. But that didn't deter him. They were inseparable. And a few years later, they started dating. I wasn't surprised but she was. And they've been together ever since."

"She loves him?"

"So much. As much as I love you."

HIs face softens, but the scowl remains, one tear betraying him by slowly falling down his cheek. I sit next to him on the couch, placing my hand on his thigh. I don’t say anything, waiting for him to speak.

“I only just found out I had another…I have a daughter. I can’t lose her too.”

I place my hand on his cheek, gently turning his face to mine. I swipe my thumb across his cheek to wipe away a tear, stubble softly scraping my skin as his watery eyes find mine.

“You will never lose her, Joel. She never thought in a million years she would ever meet you. I never-” a lump rises in my throat and I swallow hard “-she has been up your ass these last 4 months for a reason. She loves you, Joel. She’s not going to leave you. Just move a few doors down.”

—----

“I don’t understand why, Uncle Tommy! He knows I love Benny and he loves me.”

Tommy tosses some hay into the stall in front of him before turning to face his niece. 

“He’ll come around, don’t worry Pop.”

“I don’t know…he seemed pretty set on saying no. Ugh, and we had this whole thing planned out. I never planned for dad saying no.”

Tommy moves to the next horse stall, repeating the action. “Joel would want to know Benny and he doesn’t. He only just got here-”

“He’s been here for 4 months, Uncle Tommy.”

“Yeah, but he’s spent most of the time with you and your mom. As he should.”

Poppy studies her uncle’s form. “He could’ve just said yes. I mean, Benny and I have been together for forever, but I guess dad is bent on not supporting me.”

Tommy drops the last bit of hay in the stall, hand hesitating over the next bit of hay he’ll have to put down. 

“He only just got you, Pop.”

Poppy blows a raspberry. “I’m not going anywhere. Just a few houses down.”

A look washes over Tommy’s face and Poppy sees him fighting back tears.

“It’s different for him. He gets another chance with you.” It’s quiet when Tommy speaks, but he may as well have been yelling. Poppy’s eyes grow wide and she sits there silent for a few moments.

“Sarah.”

Tommy nods, his eyes coming present from the flashback that he had been on. “Sarah.”

Poppy lets out a puff of air. “Guess I’m the stubborn ass, huh?”

Tommy smiles and nudges her shoulder with his. “You come by it honestly.”

—----

The front door opens, Poppy walking in the kitchen shortly after. 

“Hey mom.”

“Hey Pop.”

“Is dad home?”

“He is. He’s upstairs. Everything ok?”

Poppy nods. “Yeah.”

Poppy heads upstairs, pausing at the door to her parent’s room before she knocks.

“Dinner ready?”

“It’s me.”

“Oh, Pop. Uh, come on in.”

Poppy enters the room and sees Joel standing in front of the mirror, hair slicked back from the water from his shower. Joel opens his mouth to speak but before he can, Poppy crosses the room and throws her arms around him, squeezing a little. Joel hesitates, momentarily caught off guard by the abrupt display of affection, before wrapping his arms around her and hugging her back.

“I’m not leaving, dad.”

Joel’s grip stiffens slightly before pulling back. “What?”

Poppy looks up at him, love pouring out of her gaze. “Benny has a house for us just a few doors down. I’m not leaving. I only just got you."

Joel is quiet for several moments. “You had Uncle Tommy.”

“I did. But he’s not my dad. You are.”

Joel chokes back tears as he stares into his daughter’s eyes, sad for the years he missed watching her grow. 

“Do you love him?”

Poppy smiles. “I do.”

“And does he love you?”

She smiles wider. “He does. He really does, daddy.”

Joel’s jaw clenches, his eyes looking off for a few moments before looking at his daughter.

“Alright, then.”

Poppy’s entire face lights up. “Really? Oh, dad I-”

“Just remind him I’m a really good shot. And so is Uncle Tommy.”

“Psshh, have you seen mom shoot? Benny should be worried about her. Why do you think he sucks up to her?”

Joel chuckles. “As he should.”

—----

Weddings in Jackson are a big event, everyone in town chipping in to help with everything, from decorating to cooking, to making Poppy’s dress. It’s something everyone looks forward to.

Joel stands in the living room, waiting for his daughter to come down the stairs. His hands flex at his sides and he shifts his weight nervously. He glances up at the top of the stairs and his breath catches in his throat, tears immediately welling in the corners of his eyes. She's the spitting image of her mother.

Poppy has on a beautiful white dress, hand-sewn by the seamstress in town. It's floor length, a white pattern of poppies is embroidered into the dress. Her hair is twisted and braided up, whisps framing her face. She wobbles slightly at the top of the stairs, the heels her friend had someone found clicking on each wooden step as she descends. When she reaches the bottom, she turns to Joel, a smile wife on her face. 

"Well, dad? Do I look ok?"

"You-" Joel let's out a breath, a smile tugging up the corners of his mouth "-you're absolutely beautiful." 

Tears well in her eyes now. "Thanks, dad."

Joel offers her his arm and it's then he notices the butterfly clip in her hair, which isn't really her style. 

"Butterfly?" He asks, eyebrows raised in question. 

"Oh. Yeah. For Sarah. I wanted a piece of her with me today and mom said she really liked butterflies. This was all I could find. Oh, and Uncle Tommy gave me this."

She pulls out a small photograph, handing it to Joel. He looks down at it and his jaw slams shut, willing his tears to not fall. 

Staring up at him, was Sarah, clad in her soccer uniform, a trophy in her hand and Joel standing proudly behind her. He stares at it for several moments before Poppy reaches out, gently taking the photo and sliding it into his coat pocket. 

"Now she's definitely with us."

Joel pulls Poppy in, hugging her tightly, trying to hide the tears that had fallen from his eyes. 

"It's perfect. She would've loved that."

Poppy hugs her dad back, hiding her own tears. They embrace for a few moments before hearing the music start outside that was their cue to head out the door. Joel pulls back, trying to covertly wipe the tears off his face while his daughter does the same. He offers her his arm again and Poppy takes it, lacing her arm in his. 

"Don't let me fall, dad."

"Never. I got you, baby girl."

Joel had faced clickers and much worse. But giving his daughter away that he'd only just met was one of the hardest things he'd had to do. Even Joel had to admit that Benny was perfect for her and loved her fiercely. They were a perfect match. 

When he danced with Poppy during the father daughter dance, he could almost picture Sarah, spinning around and laughing as he danced with her too. He knew that she would have loved Poppy.

—---

A couple months after the wedding, Poppy and Benny came over for dinner. We usually had dinner together once a week, Ellie sliding right into our family. She's hilarious and spunky and the thought of Joel having to escort her across the country makes me laugh. 

After dinner, Ellie takes off with Dina and the rest of us settle on the couches. Joel offers everyone a drink, even Benny, whom he'd grown fond of over the last few months. Although he'd never admit it. 

Poppy takes the glass and holds it, swirling around the contents as she stares at it. 

"Actually, Dad…mom… I, well, we want to talk to you." 

"I told you, my knees aren't what they used to be. Tommy said he'd help with the roof-"

"No. That's…that's not it." Joel sits next to her and the couch and she turns to face him, mouth opening and closing as if she's trying to figure out how to say something. She takes Joel's hand and squeezes it, looking up at him with her eyes that she inherited from him.

"Dad…I'm pregnant."

"Oh sweetie!" I'm on my feet, crossing the room and throwing my arms around her. "I'm so excited for you! How are you feeling? Is the morning sickness OK? I can't remember how it was with you because of what was happening but I do remember vomiting a lot. Have you gone to Lucia yet? Oh and-"

"Mom, chill. I'm only 6 or 7 weeks along." The smile she gave me falters when she looks back at Joel, who hadn't moved, a hard look on his face. 

"Dad? Did you hear what I said?"

Benny shifts in his seat, looking anywhere but at Joel, ready to run if he made a move. 

"Dad?" Poppy sits back down, taking his hands again. "You're going to be a grandpa." 

That broke him. 

"A…grandpa?"

Poppy smiles softly. "Yeah. I mean we won't know if it's a boy or girl until it's born, but if it's a boy, we're naming it Will after Benny's brother. He died a few years after…everything. And if it's a girl…well, we wondered if it would be ok to name her Sarah."

Joel's eyes are wide, big and brown and they stare into his daughter's. 

"You'd want to name her Sarah?"

"Yeah. Only if that's ok-"

"I would love that. She would've loved that." He blinks rapidly, ridding his eyes of the tears that had gathered. 

"A grandpa. Me. I never thought I'd…" He lets out a laugh, hugging his daughter tightly and shaking Benny's nervous hand.

—----

Several months later, Joel is by his daughter's side at her request, her small hand in his as she squeezes it through another contraction.

"Ok, one more push, Pop, and this baby will be here." Lucia gets ready and nods at Joel and Benny. 

"One more push, sweetheart, and we can finally hold our baby." Benny rubs her back up and down, applying pressure to her hips to help alleviate the pain, just as the midwife had shown him. 

"I can't! It's too hard!" 

Joel leans in, getting level with her face as she rocks back and forth slightly, on all fours.

"I won't pretend this isn't hard as shit. But if it's one thing I do know is that you're as tough as your momma. Probably tougher. And I know you can do this. You got this, baby girl. You've got this." Joel squeezes her hand and she nods, taking a deep breath. 

One more push, and their daughter Sarah was born, screaming loudly at the world. 

—-

We stayed with them that first night, in case they needed anything at their request. It's late, about 3am or so and I hear the floorboards creaking outside our door. I glance over and see that Joel isn't next to me, so I quietly get up and make my way out of the door. Peeking into Poppy and Benny's room, I see them both sound asleep on the bed, but no Sarah. I head downstairs to the living room, but stop just short of the doorway, listening as Joel's voice carries to me, the song he had been singing ending.

"You know, I wanted to be a singer in another life. Play guitar and all that. I'll teach you someday."

He hums a little tune to Sarah and I poke my head around the corner, taking in the scene in front of me. Joel is standing, bouncing his arms and swaying side to side, all gentle movements as he stares down and the bundle of blankets in his arms, Sarah's small face poking out from between the folds. 

"Your aunt would've just melted over you. She loved babies. Was always askin' me when me and your grandma were gonna have one. I'll tell you all about her one day." He pauses, clenching his jaw in an attempt to hold back tears. 

"I never knew about your mom until she was already grown. But I promise, I will always be here for you." 

Sarah looks so small in his arms, his broad shoulders looking impossibly large as he holds her tiny body to him, smiling down at her as she continues to sleep. 

"I got you, baby girl."

—----

A Second Chance (a one shot written by @theewokingdead )>>

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[musings-of-a-rose]

Relief

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 1500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: I'll leave my standard warning here, but there are mentions of babies and lactation. I know it's not everyone's jam so just a heads up!  Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: All I said was I wanted to write some Tommy Miller smut and then @wyn-n-tonic had to go put this in my head. Completely her fault so while you're blaming her for this, make sure to check out her writing at @wyn-writing

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist 

Tommy Miller Masterlist

Groaning, I slide into bed after checking on our daughter for the 20th time that hour. I glance at the clock and see it mocking me with the time -3:42am. I let out a quiet cry, the exhaustion washing over me.

"Honey?" Tommy stirs beside me, looking up through long lashes, dark curls messed from sleep. 

"Go back to bed, baby. I just had to check on her." My boobs hurt, used to being emptied throughout the night. My hands sleepily massage them, a movement my husband does not miss. 

 "You ok?" Tommy shifts, his head turning up to fully look at me.

I shrug. "I'm still adjusting to her sleeping through the night. And my boobs have not gotten the memo." I slide my fingers across my chest, exhaustion making it hard to continue massaging my boobs. 

"Lemme help?" His eyes are dark in the dimly lit room, shifting his body so he was laying half over me.

"You have work in the morning. Don't worry about me."

His large hand rests on my stomach, still soft from birth. He slides it up until it meets the line of my nursing bra. 

"I wanna help."

I look down at him, eyes like a puppy, dark curls even more mussed up as he leans up. He knows I can never deny that look. I shift forward from where I was leaning against the headboard and undo my bra, sliding it down my shoulders and off, the shirt I had been wearing tossed aside with it. Tommy sits up a little more, staring down at my swollen boobs. 

The hand he has on my stomach slides up, gently wrapping his fingers around my right boob and squeezes lightly. I moan at the slight release of pressure and Tommy shifts higher up my body. His mouth closes over my left boob, tongue lapping at my nipple as he gently sucks and I whimper his name, my fingers tangling in his curls, my eyes closing to better feel this relief. 

I feel his eyes on me before he speaks, low and quiet. "I guess you like this, huh?"

"Shut up." I don't open my eyes, but I do try to push his head back to my chest, feeling his lips stretch into a smile against my skin. 

When he massages me again, I can't help the soft moan that escapes me, the pressure in my chest lightening more. Soft lips ghost across my face, my cheeks, the tip of my nose, my back arching to be closer, needing to be closer. My lips brush against his and I feel him smile against me before his lips press against mine, soft and slow. 

I kiss him back, my fingers tangling in his soft curls. Tommy gently presses his body against mine, a silent ask if I want more, need more, not wanting to overstep my current needs. My fingers tighten their grip in response, pulling him closer to me.

Tommy breaks the kiss long enough to grip my thighs, strong fingers pulling me down flat on my back. His lips are back on mine, soft and warm as he slides his body over me, slotting himself between my thighs. He leans on one arm, muscle tightening under his weight, his opposite hand coming up and covering my breast, calloused fingers working out the soreness. 

I pull at his shoulders, needing his weight on me. He breaks the kiss, dropping to his elbows and laying his body gently on mine. His weight is a comfort, grounding me, the stress seeping from my body. His other hand comes up to massage my other boob and I arch into his touch, his name a whisper from my lips. After a few minutes, I realize he's watching me. I crack open my eyes and find his, dark and wide, full of something I can only describe as reverence.

"God, you're so fuckin' beautiful, honey."

I chuckle, slightly breathless. "Oh yeah. So beautiful with spit up on my clothes and 5 day unwashed hair. I know the sleep deprivation has been doing wonders for the bags under my eyes-"

Tommy leans down, cutting off my words with his lips. "You created life… and look hot doing it."

"Watch what you say, Mr. Miller, or we may just add another crib to our home." My fingers lightly scratch his back and he hums at the feeling. 

"Mmm," he moans into my mouth, kissing me deeply. "Maybe I wouldn't mind that."

"Tom-" He presses his lips to mine, cutting me off again. 

"Talk later." 

Our lips are gentle, comforting light kisses that soon start to turn more. More needy, more desperate for the other. His tongue swipes across my bottom teeth, tongue dancing around mine. I can feel him under his boxers, achingly hard, lighting a fire in-between my thighs, fanning out through my body with each swipe of his thumb across my nipples, with each soft grind of his hips. I push mine up to meet his and his chest rumbles. He breaks the kiss, forehead pressed to mine, his nose gently tracing lines up my own. 

He waits, wanting me to make the first move. I pull him back down to me, swallowing his moan as I grind my hips into his, legs wrapping around his hips. His hand leaves my boob, sliding up my bare thigh, gripping my underwear. He pulls at it, gently lifting his hips to help me wiggle out of them, his own boxers following close behind, tossed somewhere on the floor. 

He sinks between my thighs again, pressing himself into me, slowly sliding between between my wet folds. My heart speeds up, breaths now puffing out from my lips between kisses, and my release comes on quick, a soft cry of his name as I clench around nothing, Tommy still sliding through me. 

I feel him pause when I come down, pressed against my entrance, heavy breathing into each other. I slide my arms under his, gripping his bare ass and push, trying to get him to move. He pulls his head back just enough to look at me, slowly pushing his hips forward, watching my face with every inch for any trace of discomfort. His eyes darken as he watches me, my mouth slightly agape, eyes fluttering closed as he stretches me. 

His hips flush against mine, he waits a moment before moving, a shallow thrust into me. My breath puffs out into his face, a quiet moan following. He moves slow, hips grinding against mine for several thrusts before he dips his head to my chest, licking at a nipple before sucking on it. 

I gasp and he stops, hesitant in case he hurt me. My hand flies to the back of his head, pushing him back down on my boob, silently begging him for more. He sucks gently, his other large, warm hand coming up to wrap around my opposite boob, massaging it gently with purpose. 

The way he's loving me, pressing against me from all sides, fills my head. All I see, all I feel and smell, all of it is him. Tommy. My back arches again as I writhe under him. The boob he was massaging starts to leak and he laps at my nipple, sending jolts through my body and straight between my thighs. I come, clenching hard around him as he continues to grind slowly into me, licking at my chest. 

Another few thrusts and he moves his head from my chest, slowly extending his neck up as he comes, quiet moans tumbling from his lips. He tries to move off me, but I slam my thighs against his, preventing him from moving. 

He says nothing, simply lowering his head for my chest, laying it down to listen to me breathe as I run my fingers through his hair. 

Eventually, he moves off me, silently cleaning us up before sliding back under the covers, pulling me to his side as he holds me, nuzzling into his side. He kisses the top of my head, his fingers tracing a mindless pattern on my back. My breaths slow, my mind starting to drift to sleep. 

"I love you, honey," Tommy whispers into the quiet, dark room, humming at the way I hold him a little tighter in response, too exhausted to verbalize exactly how much of me he holds. 

—----

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

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@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @Icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

All One Shots/Writing Prompts/Ficlets:

@itspdameronthings @Whovianayesha @tanzthompson @thatpinkshirt @petersunderoos96 @mswarriorbabe80 @hotchlover @hb8301 @fabilei @mypascalito975 @haleypearce @dindjarinswhore

Tommy Miller Taglist:

@buckysmainhxe

#tommy miller #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #The last of us #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters #gabriel luna character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction

[musings-of-a-rose]

Tommy Miller Masterlist

*=indicates smut or eventual smut (see fic warnings for details)

One Shots:

Ask: Then and Now

Relief*

The Deal (Tommy, Joel, and Reader)*

Series Masterlists:

Falling Slowly*

#tommy miller #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x female reader #tommy miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #The last of us #the last of us fanfic #gabriel luna #gabriel luna x reader #gabriel luna x you #gabriel luna characters #gabriel luna character fanfic #gabriel lunal character ff #gabriel luna character fanfiction