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lucy-268 · 4 years

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Revelations

A/N - This is ‘the talk’ and it takes place a week after Regrets. You can find that on my masterlist. Also, this meets the requirement for the @choicesweeklychallenge. You belong to me can be found in bold.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to PB

Warnings: none? I don’t think even language.

Series/Pairing: Open Heart - Ethan x f!MC (Charley Valentine)

Word count: 4,466

*****Thursday*****

“Has Denver General sent us any more information, or will I just find out when I get there?” June asked.

Consulting his notes, Ethan answered her. “Dr. Morgan said that he would send us the remaining test results as soon as he gets them. He’ll be sending them to all of us, so if you want to discuss the case with any of us we’ll all have the same information.”

June never looked up from the report she was reviewing. “I doubt it will be necessary.”

“Regardless of whether you think it’s a necessity, you will keep me informed of the case.” Ethan reminded her.

“Of course, Ethan.” June said. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I’m going to get ready for my flight?”

“You don’t want to hear about my new patient?” Baz asked her.

June glanced at him. “My flight leaves in less than three hours, so no. At least not right now.” She gathered her files and left saying goodbye to the rest of the team.

“Baz, what is going on with your new patient?” Charley asked.

“Late-onset Chediak-Higashi Syndrome. For me as an immunologist, I find it extremely interesting, especially as the patient is thirty-two and just diagnosed.”

Charley looked between Baz and Ethan. “Is this a team patient?”

“No. This is a patient of Baz’s. We will have a new patient coming in on Monday for which you will be primary.” Ethan held up a folder.

Baz briefed them on his patient, excusing himself when he received a page saying the patient was being admitted.

“And then there were two,” Ethan handed her the folder.

She flipped it open and read through the file. “Twenty-five year old male. Diabetic. Joint pain and muscle weakness.” Charley looked at him. “Do you know what it is and you want me to figure it out?”

Ethan shook his head. “I have a couple of ideas but I don’t know for sure what it is. You should have several ideas right now.”

“The symptoms can be just about anything. You said he gets here on Monday ?”

He nodded. “He’s already been to Mass Kenmore several times. Even though we have sent a release signed by the patient, Terrance hasn’t sent the files to us. So we may start with spinning our wheels testing for things that they have already tested for and eliminated.”

Charley studied the file again. “Did you see the iron levels here? I think the first thing is a liver biopsy?”

“Are you telling me that’s what you are going to do, or asking me if I think that’s the right choice?” Ethan asked her.

Her head snapped up. “That’s what I’m going to order. I’ll even have the order written so the test is run as soon as he’s admitted.” Charley met his eyes. “What?”

Ethan smiled. “There aren’t a lot of doctors who could have figured out to start with that test after reviewing a file for less than fifteen minutes. Let alone a second year resident. So I am impressed.” He reached over and stroked the back of her hand. “You often impress me.”

She turned her hand and laced their fingers. “It’s Thursday.”

“So it is.”

“Last week you texted me and said we would talk on Saturday.”

“Yes. And we decided we’d have dinner at six.”

Charley met his eyes. “You aren’t going to change your mind?”

“We’re meeting at my apartment. I’ll be there. We are long overdue for the talk. And I’m sorry for that.”

Charley smiles. “Will I finally get my chicken?”

“You will not. We’ve made the chicken together,” he held up his hand when she was going to interrupt, “this time, we’ll make something else. You plan the meal.”

“We may have made the chicken together but I never got to try it.”

“I want to see what you come up with. You can create any menu you want. Email me what we need and I’ll go shopping.” Ethan smiled at her.

Charley considered for a minute. “Anything?” When Ethan nodded, she continued, “My grandma had an amazing pot roast recipe. We could roast it in the oven or use a crockpot. It’s always best if it cooks on low in the crockpot, so that would take about seven or so hours. I’ll email you the list, and I guess I’ll be there late morning. I guess we’ll also have lunch together, too. That’s alright, isn’t it Ethan?” She didn’t even wait for his answer before she left the office.

Charley watched the office door to see if he was going to come after her and inform her they would not be spending the entire day together.

Ethan sat at his desk, he smiled as he realized that life would never be boring around Charley Valentine.

*****Saturday*****

Sienna pushed open Charley’s bedroom door. “Are yo-” Sienna stopped mid-sentence. She heard several loud thuds and wanted to ask if Charley was okay, but she did not expect the scene she witnessed. She also didn’t see her roommate. “Charley!”

“I’m here,” Charley called, pushing herself out from under the bed. “I was looking for this shoe. That I can’t wear now. Thank you, Lucy!” The shoe had become a chew toy for their pet.

Lucy, their fennec fox, sat in the middle of Charley’s bed, looking proud of herself.

“Forget the shoe, we understand what happened to it.” Sienna looked around the room. “Was there a bomb? Are you telekinetic? Did your closet and dresser decide to vomit every article of clothing you own into your room?”

“I’m looking for something to wear, and I don’t have anything! I got off at five yesterday, I should have gone shopping!”

Sienna remembered the day a couple weeks ago when Charley got home late clad in someone else’s clothes. Based on her own conversation with a certain someone, Sienna had a pretty good idea who. Now she was frantically trying to find something special to wear. “What’s his name?”

Charley froze. “What’s whose name?”

“Obviously, the guy that you’re spending your day with. The same one you were with when you came home wearing clothes that were way too big for you. So, who is it?”

“No one,” Charley stated. “I’m not spending the day with anyone.”

“Yet you canceled on Bryce and me for today.” Sienna picked up a Columbia t-shirt and a pair of jeans with a rip in the knees. “Here, put these on.” She smiled. “I mean, if you aren’t doing anything special today, it doesn’t matter what you have on.”

Charley looked at the clothes that Sienna tossed on her bed. She had to leave for Ethan’s before Sienna would be leaving to meet Bryce, and she still didn’t know what she was going to wear.

Sienna watched her. “I heard that Dr. Ramsey also has today off. And he did when you had your second day off two weeks ago.”

Charley froze and looked to the door. “Everyone else is working today and they’re gone?”

Sienna nodded and sat down on Charley’s bed. “Uh-huh.”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“So it wasn’t just the one night when he spent the night here?”

“That day we went to the country club and later I went to his apartment to talk to him? That was the first time, and the night after my hearing was the second. It was also the last time.” Charley sighed. “Then he went to the Amazon so we could ‘reset’ since he would be my director supervisor.” Charley sighed. “Since he’s been back he says we need to stay away from each other, but then he’ll kiss me. Today we’re going to ‘talk.’ We’ve been supposed to talk since right after the softball game, but it kept getting delayed.”

Sienna smirked at her. “You had on his clothes the day you came home.”

Charley's face turned red. “We spent the day together with his dad in Providence. We took his dog for a walk and I fell into a mud puddle.”

“You’ve met his family!”

“His dad. He hadn’t told Alan that he was bringing me with him. Ethan had never taken anyone home with him before, not even Harper Emery.”

“Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Emery were a thing!” Sienna’s mouth dropped open.

“I don’t know if it’s really common knowledge. Aurora probably knows. I saw the two of them talking once and it seemed intimate. It was the day before they announced the opening on the diagnostics team. I did ask him about it later and he said he likes to keep his private life private, but he did say they had an on-again, off-again thing but it ended permanently when she became chief.” Charley rested her head on her hand. “I probably shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t tell anyone.”

Sienna mimed sealing her lips. “I thought that you and Bryce were kind of together.”

“We hooked up a couple of times but we both agreed to be casual.”

“And with Ramsey, you don’t want casual?”

“I don’t.” Charley chewed on her lip. “Sienna, I’m terrified about today. I know that everything is going to change.”

“Well then, let’s get you ready.” Sienna picked up the t-shirt and jeans. “This probably won’t do; we’ll find something else.”

Charley was just getting ready to leave when her phone rang. She looked at the caller id and sighed. “If you’re calling to cancel-” she started.

“I’m not,” she heard his rich baritone as well as a smile in his voice. “I had to go to the hospital to pick up something. If you haven’t left yet you can ride with me. I’m outside your building.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Charley disconnected, smiling.

Soon they were in his apartment. She kicked off her shoes at the door and stood there when he walked further into the apartment. He got half way through the living room when he realized she wasn’t with him. He turned to find her at the door. “If we want to make this pot roast we need to go to the kitchen.”

Charley gave a nervous laugh and stepped away from the door. She tossed her purse on the couch as they walked into the kitchen. They washed their hands and Ethan pulled his crockpot out of the pantry while Charley pulled the roast out of the refrigerator. She saw the printout from her email with the image of her grandma’s recipe. Ethan gathered the rest of the ingredients while Charley brewed a pot of coffee.

“Why the crockpot instead of a roasting pan in the oven? I saw the recipe had directions for both with cooking times for either low or high in the slow cooker.”

“It tastes better and is more tender.”

Ethan smirked. “It does not. And we need to use the Dutch oven even if it’s just to brown the roast.”

“Maybe it doesn’t do a lot for the taste, but it is more tender.” Charley watched as the coffee finished brewing, standing with her back to him. “It takes longer to cook in the slow cooker on low and I wanted to spend more time with you.” She gave a short laugh. “Funnily enough, now that I’m here, I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

She turned to face him. “I think that today may change everything, and I’m hopeful but I’m also scared. I’ve been wanting to sit down with you away from the hospital with just the two of us for so long, but now that we’re actually going to do that...” She bit her lip.

“Now you understand why I’ve been putting it off. But I’ve done a lot of thinking. And I talked to Naveen. We are long overdue. Today will change everything but we will be in agreement with it, I think.”

Charley nodded. Ethan turned back to the counter. “Let’s get this set for dinner, fix lunch, and talk.”

Charley browned the roast in the Dutch oven while Ethan chopped the vegetables and herbs. Once the roast was in the crockpot, Charley cooked the onion. Once they started to soften, they added the rest of the ingredients, including the coffee. “Why coffee?” Ethan asked.

Charley smiled, watching the mixture simmer. “Is this a quiz, same as ‘why neat’ that first night at Donahue’s?”

“Genuine curiosity. As much as I love coffee, I’ve never had pot roast cooked in coffee. I found the recipe interesting.”

“It helps to tenderize the meat and gives the gravy a richer flavor.”

Once the gravy and onion mixture was cooked, Ethan poured it over the meat and set the timer. While Charley washed the accumulated dishes, Ethan fixed salads for lunch. They took their plates to the living room and sat side-by-side on his sofa.

“You talked to Naveen about us.” When he nodded, she continued, “I talked to Sienna.”

They fell into a silence while they ate. Charley glanced at him every so often.

He pushed the last piece of lettuce around on his plate before finally setting the plate on the coffee table. He turned to her; she mimicked his moves and faced him.

“Ethan, I’ve said for a while that a relationship with you is an easy decision for me. It’s what I want. I think that we could be good together, amazing even.”

Ethan nodded. “I know. You aren’t the problem, I am. I want to be able to push you to be the best doctor you can be.”

“You can do that professionally, regardless of any personal relationship we have. I can take criticism from Dr. Ramsey and know that it isn’t coming from Ethan.”

“You’re assuming that I can also have that division.”

That got Charley’s attention. “You’re Ethan Freakin’ Ramsey. You can do anything you try to. If you want to make the distinction you will. And if you cross the line, I’ll let you know.”

“Another problem-”

Charley put her hand on his arm. “If you just want to list a lot of potential possible problems, why are we even having a discussion? Earlier you said that today would change everything and you thought we’d be in agreement.” She folded her arms across her chest and focused on a picture hanging on the wall. “If you thought that I’d change my mind about us, you’re wrong. If you thought you could list all the reasons why we can’t be together and why you won’t be with me, I was right to be nervous about this. If that’s-”

Ethan reached over and grabbed her chin, forcing her to face him. “What I want to do is identify the obstacles or potential obstacles we face so we are both aware of them, and to decide how we need to handle them in the future.” He wiped a tear out of her eye. “Because in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I very much do want to be with you.”

Charley grabbed his hand and kissed his palm before lacing their fingers together. She smiled at him. “I’m sorry for my outburst. Continue, please.”

“Another problem is the board. They don’t like interoffice romances. Naveen seems to think this won’t be an issue. He seems to think that as long as it isn’t impacting the care of the patients, or the bottom line of the hospital, they wouldn’t care, nor would they even need to be aware. I disagree with him on this. I think the board makes it their business to know what goes on in the hospital.”

Charley interrupted again. “I know that there are married couples at the hospital. Was it a problem when you and Harper were together?” Ethan drew in a deep breath when she asked that. “If you don’t want to answer that you don’t have to.”

“I will. It was not a problem and the board did not have an issue with it when she was head of neurosurgery and I was a fellow on the diagnostics team. If our relationship would have continued when she was chief or if I had been a surgeon, it would have been a problem. Any other couples at Edenbrook do not work in the same area, and one member of the couple is not another’s supervisor.”

Ethan continued, “I don’t want anyone to think that you got the position on my team because of our relationship. I don’t want anyone to have any doubt about that. You earned it.”

Charley nodded. “I did earn it. You weren’t even the one who put me on the team. Naveen did.”

Ethan agreed that while that was true, many people at the hospital could have thought that he asked Naveen to do that.

“If anyone has doubts, I graduated at the top of my class at Columbia. Not near, I was ranked first. In fact if anyone had ranked all med school graduates my year from around the country, I’d probably be in the top fifty.”

Ethan laughed. “Someone did. And you are higher than that. You are somewhere in the top twenty. I’m not going to narrow it down more than that for you.”

“Based on that, I think I earned the right to be on the team. Not to mention helping to cure Naveen last year. Our relationship had nothing to do with it. Well except for the fact you inspired me to go to med school in the first place. And I wanted to work with you, which is why I came to Edenbrook.”

“We probably don’t want to advertise our personal relationship at work. The hospital has a wonderful gossip network and we’ll need to be careful. That being said it probably won’t be long before everyone knows about us.”

“That sounds okay. But some people will know. I told Sienna and you told Naveen. My roommates will know I’m seeing someone, and will make it their mission to find out who.” Charley wasn’t sure if she should mention the next part, but figured she might as well. “June does, or she thinks she does. At least that was what she implied the day I caught her with my personnelle file.”

Ethan froze. “She had your file?”

Charley nodded. “She said that she reads the files for everyone she works with. She tried to tell me you asked her to get it for you, but I knew you wouldn’t have.”

“I’ll deal with her when she gets back from Denver. Your roommates and Naveen are fine.”

“If my roommates know Bryce will also know; and if Aurora does, Harper might.” Charley looked up at him. “Can we talk about Harper?”

“I thought we already had.”

“You ended things when she became chief. If she wouldn’t have, would you still be together, do you think?”

“We would not. We were together because it was mutually beneficial to the both of us. But we were never going to last.”

She smirked at him. “By ‘mutually beneficial’ do you mean it was convenient and the sex was good?”

“Yes.” Ethan said. “But then last year something happened that I knew would never lead Harper and I together again.” When Charley tipped her head to show she was interested in his answer, he continued. “Last year, an intern showed up and turned my life inside out. And I can’t get her out of my head.”

Charley started to move towards him, and he stopped her. “What about the scalpel jockey?”

Charley lips twitched. “His name is Bryce.”

“I’m aware, and you didn’t answer the question.”

“We hooked up twice, once at our housewarming party and again once after we were at Donahue’s. We almost did the night we researched treating Mrs. Martinez, but you’d already kissed me in Miami. I wasn’t interested in anyone else at that point.” She looked at the ground before meeting his eyes. “Bryce is a friend and a good one. I trust him. I also know if I ever did want a relationship with him, I’d have that choice. I don’t, and Bryce respects that.”

“As long as he knows that you belong to me.” Ethan pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her.

“And you belong to me!” Charley shifted slightly on his lap and felt his hardness under her thigh. “We could continue this in the bedroom.”

“A very good idea.” As Ethan stood and lifted her, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her into the bedroom.

Several hours later, they were laying with their legs tangled together, voices soft in the quiet room when an alarm on her phone beeped.

“Somewhere you need to be?” He kissed the top of her head.

She pushed herself up. “Actually, yes. The kitchen. I need to start the vegetables.”

He walked over to his closet and pulled out a robe that on him would reach mid-thigh. He tossed it to her, before grabbing another for himself. This one hit him at mid-calf. “You could have this one if you wanted.” She indicated the robe she hadn’t yet tied. It fell below her knees.

He snorted. “Be responsible for you tripping in this one? I don’t think so.”

As Charley gathered what she needed for the roasted cauliflower, Ethan grabbed the green beans. Charley explained that sometime they would fix potatoes with the roast, but her grandfather grew up near Idaho and often decided he wanted anything other than potatoes, so they would have cauliflower. “I don’t like raw or steamed, but I really like them roasted with this mustard sauce.”

Charley watched Ethan pull a cake plate out of the refrigerator. “Dessert?” At Ethan's acknowledgment she asked what it was. He wouldn’t tell her, saying he wanted it to be a surprise.

They worked efficiently together in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. Ethan selected a red wine for them and opened it to let it breathe. He carried their plates to the dining room table.

“This is good; the coffee does make the gravy richer.”

“Grandma knows best. My grandfather grew up in Spokane and grandma in Seattle. They had a restaurant in Seattle that my dad and all my aunts and uncles worked in while they were growing up.”

“You have a big family?”

“My dad had three brothers and two sisters. But even though they had six kids, my grandparents only had four grandchildren. There was my brother and me; we grew up in Pennsylvania. My one uncle had two boys and they were in Oregon. All of my dad’s family is in the northwest and we didn’t see them often. My dad moved there after he retired and I started med school.”

Ethan watched her. “Are we going to talk about your mom’s family?”

Charley shrugged. “Not much to tell. Her parents were killed in a car accident when she was in college. She was an only child and you know why I don’t talk to her.”

As they cleared the table and kitchen he asked her what he had been wondering about. “Why did you decide to do your residency in Boston with most of your family now out west?”

“It doesn’t feel like home to me there. I figured I could do my residency anywhere; it wasn’t a commitment to stay somewhere for my life. It’s only three years.” She smiled at him. “Besides coming here let me learn from the best.”

Ethan poured coffee and set the mugs on a tray with two dessert plates. Charley watched as he lifted the cover off the cake.

“Lemon! How did you know lemon was my favorite?” Charley couldn’t resist. She swiped her finger on the edge of the cake to collect a sample of icing. She popped it in her mouth.

“I asked Sienna the other day and she told me.”

Charley stared at him. “She helped me get dressed this morning and she didn’t say anything!”

Ethan laughed. “You need help getting dressed in the mornings?”

She felt her face redden. “I… well… um. I didn’t know what to wear this morning.”

“I would have gone with clothes, but I understand that some people are fussier than others.”

“I wanted to look nice.”

“You always look nice.”

“I thought that I always looked satisfactory.”

Ethan cut two pieces of cake and added them to the tray with the coffees.

“I thought we could take these into the bedroom. If that would be satisfactory to you?”

She nodded and he carried the tray to the bedroom and set it down on the bed. He flipped a switch causing the gas fireplace to spring to life. Charley picked up her cake and snuggled back against Ethan. “I like the fireplace here.”

“I don’t often use it.”

“Why tonight?”

“Must be the company I’m keeping.”

Charley turned and straddled his lap. “You better be careful. This company could end up corrupting you.”

“I look forward to it, if that’s the case.” Ethan rolled her unto her back.

Several hours later, Charley looked at the clock. “I should go home. I have to work tomorrow and my boss can be tough if I’m late.”

“If you stay with me, I’ll be sure you’re not late,” Ethan buried his head in her neck.

“I don’t have clean clothes for tomorrow.”

“You can either grab some scrubs from the locker room or ask your roommate to bring something for you.” Ethan pointed to his dresser. “I cleared both of the bottom drawers for you, if you want them.”

Charley chewed on her bottom lip. “You knew what the outcome of our talk was going to be before we actually talked today. When did you decide you wanted-”

“The night of the softball game, when I kissed you.”

Charley stared at him. “Then why did you keep putting me off when I wanted to talk?”

“Because I kept coming up with all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together. And I decided not to do that anymore. I’m tired of avoiding whatever it is we have.”

“Why do I get the two bottom drawers?”

“You’re shorter than me!” He indicates the drawer on the right. “You actually do have clean clothes in there. What you wore when we went to my dads. You at least have something to wear to the hospital.” Ethan watched her. “Any other concerns for tonight?”

“Do you have an extra toothbrush?”

Ethan shrugged. “Yes, but it’s one of the standard ones dentists hand out. It should be fine until we can get you one to keep here.”

Charley put her head on his pillow. “Then I can’t think of a single reason to get out of the warm bed right now.”

He turned off the light and slipped under the covers with her. “Neither can I.”

Tag list (if you want to be on or off let me know) @oofchoices @openheart12 @jamespotterthefirst @ohchoices @catchinglikekeronsene @aylamreads @nerdydinosaursweets @eramsey28 @txemrn @starrystarrytrouble @queencarb @thegreentwin @lion-ess24 @caseyvalentineramsey

@choicesficwriterscreations @choicesweeklychallenge

#dr ethan ramsey #dr. ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan jonah ramsey #open heart fanfiction #open heart #choices open heart

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sherryaptx4869 · 4 years

Text

Put a Ring on It

A gift for @jackel-gull happy holidays! 😊

Prompt: Coffee shop AU

(Also on ao3)

---

“Excuse me Ma’am, a muffin from that handsome gentleman over there,” the female staff interrupted Shiho as she is very busy typing at her laptop.

She looked over to the direction the staff is pointing to. She is in a rush because her laboratory report is due in just a few minutes. She needs to proofread everything before passing her output to her very strict professor, thus every minute counts. She’s a bit irritated that her momentum is ruined by the ‘gentleman’ the staff is pertaining to.

When she turned to look, the man waved at her. She merely nodded and proceeded to hunch over her laptop. She likes to do her academic papers at Poirot Café because 1) she gets the space she needs, 2) they really have delicious bread and pastries plus their drinks are top-tier, 3) they also have strong wifi connection. 4) It’s also a ten-minute walk from the university she is attending. Very convenient.

Five minutes before the deadline, she breathed a sigh of relief when she hit the send button with her report as an attachment to an email she sent to her professor. She massaged her temples and briefly closed her eyes keeping the impending headache at bay. She only has fifteen minutes before her next class starts. She allowed herself to relax for a bit when she sensed another presence at the table she is currently occupying.

She smelled him before she saw him. She smelled a faint, subtle smell that is not overpowering. Her trained observation skills as a scientist approves of his choice of perfume.

She opened her eyes, removed her earphones and eyed him. Up close, the guy looked just about her age- probably in his 4th year of college too. She noticed his lean body, and his calves are well-defined. She noticed a tan line in his arm when he waved earlier. He’s probably into sports.

She raised her eyebrow and regarded the stranger.

“Hi, I’m Kudo Shinichi and you are?” he said, flashing her a smile as he held out his hand for a handshake.

“And I was just leaving,” she said as she gathered her laptop, her papers and her books, stacked them all in her backpack and leaving not even sparing a backward glance.

---

“Wow, that girl is something.” Heiji teased Shinichi for the nth time.

“I wish I was there to see it when your ego was deflated and brought you back to earth,” Heiji continued. “I mean man, she rejected Kudo Shinichi, the great detective of the East!” Heiji is now clutching his stomach from laughing too hard, tears at the corner of his eyes.

Shinichi glared at him but that did not stop Heiji from laughing.

“Should I wait for you to finish laughing or are we doing detective work on her?” he asked Heiji.

“Huh, what work?” That caught Heiji’s attention.

“Returning this to its rightful owner,” Shinichi said as he fished a card from his pocket.

So Miyano Shiho is the name of the beautiful, auburn-haired woman.

---

In her rush to gather her things earlier, Shiho did not notice her library card slipped and fell to the floor of the café. Now, she stood at the heavenly doors of the library but not quite entering because her library card is missing. She meant to return the books and browse for other titles. Without her card, she couldn’t really enter, but what’s more important is that she can’t loan out books.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Upon checking, she saw she got an email from an unlisted account.

“Hello Miyano-san, I got your email address from the library card you dropped at Poirot Café earlier today. If you want, I can go to your university and return it there. – Kudo Shinichi, Detective of the East”, she noticed he’s studying at another top university in Japan from his email address. So he is the famous detective of the east.

“If it’s not too much to ask, I can meet you back at Poirot Café in thirty minutes. I just need to finish some stuff here and I’ll go over there,” she replied.

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” is his instant reply.

---

Shiho debated on meeting the stranger. Even if he is Kudo Shinchi, strangers are not to be trusted. And he’s definitely a stranger.

Dang it, her loaned books would have to be returned three days from now and if she doesn’t return them on time, she will accumulate penalties for her overdue books. She won’t be able to borrow more books on top of that.

She really has to meet with the stranger if she wanted her library card back. It will take a week for the library to process lost ID cards. And she needed hers asap.

She made up her mind, she’s meeting him and get it over with.

---

It’s 6:30pm. Upon her entrance at the Poirot Café for the second time that day, she immediately looked around and searched for some dark brown-haired guy. There were a few college students openly ogling the very handsome barista, Amuro-san. She spotted Shinichi at the back of the café. She approached him.

“Kudo-kun,” she tentatively called out to get his attention.

“Oh hi, Miyano-san.” He said as he got up to his feet and pulled the chair for her to sit.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“About earlier, I’m sorry if I came on as an arrogant guy. I was just being friendly with people who have the same interests as I do.” he offered an explanation.

She gave her a questioning look.

“Well, I saw you carrying Arthur Conan Doyle’s book and I got a bit excited to see a fellow Sherlockian fan,” he continued.

“I see. I was in a hurry myself earlier and I just don’t like dealing with strangers especially when I’m in a hurry. I didn’t want to be late for class,” she said without more ado.

“I also enjoy reading mystery novels, it’s just that I need my library card to borrow books from the lib.” She offered.

He handed her lib card and as his fingers skimmed over her hands, she felt a zap from the point of contact. Apparently, he felt it too.

To ease the sudden awkwardness of the situation, he said “Why don’t we start over? I’m Kudo Shinichi”

“I’m Miyano Shiho,” she said and shook hands with him.

“Shiho,” he repeated testing the roll of her name on his tongue.

The sparks from their hands touching is undeniably there. They quickly let go of each other’s hands and pretended to go over the menu. Shiho felt the blood rushing to her cheeks and she felt warm. Shinichi on the other hand felt his face flush. This beautiful woman elicited such a boyish response from him is something he could not rationalize.

They found out more about each other as the night deepens. From the café, they went to take a walk at the park. When it is apparent that they need to get some rest, Kudo offered to walk her home in her dorm.

The night has a certain chill to it, “It’s really nice talking to you Kudo-kun”, Shiho said as she’s getting ready to enter the building.

“We should do this again sometime, if it’s not too much to ask, Shiho” Shinichi replied.

“It’s too much given my schedule, but I’d like that,” Shiho said. She smiled before darting inside.

As Shinichi walked back to his own dorm, he mused over the evening. He got a big smile on his face even when Heiji kept one pestering him to share what happened with Shiho.

---

They fell in the same routine, meeting at the café, going on a trip together and having conversations about deep things, shallow things, whatever comes their way. They went out for a year. By then, Shiho graduated and is already working as a university researcher and Shinichi is on his first year of taking criminal law while still extending assistance to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.

On Christmas day, they are at their favourite café where they first encountered each other.

“Do you remember the first time you rejected me here?” Shinichi asked Shiho.

“I may have remembered a little bit of that,” Shiho smirked.

“Heiji kept on rubbing it in my face how pitiful I looked back then,” Shinichi relayed.

“You need that to keep you grounded before your inflated ego take you away,” Shiho said before drinking her coffee.

“Heiji said that too. You’re in cahoots with that guy?” Shinichi pouted.

Shiho merely laughed. Her laugh is music to his ears. Not to be cliché but it just is. He never thought that this wonderful woman is willing to spend time with him. He hoped she still feels the same way for the rest of their lives.

Before his thoughts strayed any further, he gave her his Christmas present and planted a kiss on her mouth. It’s a bath bomb designed for aromatherapy. Her job at the research laboratory seemed to take a toll on her lately, she also catches colds easily.

Back at her apartment, she decided to use the bath bomb Shinichi gave her. She took a book by Agatha Christie to read while she soaked in the tub with the bath bomb still fizzing. She is basking at the sweet, floral scent from the lavender essential oil when her curiosity is piqued by a floating material. There were no fun additives for aesthetics such as glitter and flower petals in Shinichi’s present so why is there a floating thing at the tub? She grabbed the thing and a smile made its way on her face. Hmmn, she might play a little prank on Kudo-kun tomorrow when they see each other.

---

The following day when they met each other to eat lunch at the Kudo residence,

“How was your sleep?” Shinichi inquired when they were settled on his car on the way to the Kudo mansion.

“It’s good. Thanks for the special oils in the bath bomb, they really cleared my thoughts.” She purposefully avoided mentioning the ring embedded in the bath bomb.

“Did you find anything to your liking?” Shinichi pressed on.

‘He’s not his usual blunt, confident self,’ Shiho noted. ‘He’s skirting around the ring topic.’

“Well, I liked the lavender scent. I’d like to try the one with eucalyptus too, it clears the sinus,” she still did not give the answer he clearly wanted to hear.

He merely nodded. After that, he stopped speaking. Shiho made it look like she busied herself on her phone.

He’s clearly upset that Shiho did not find his surprise. It’s written all over his face, from his grip to the steering wheel.

They stopped by at a flower shop to buy flowers for Yukiko, Shinichi’s mom. While they are waiting for the store clerk to wrap the flowers,

“Shin, your phone pinged several times already,” Shiho informed Shinichi.

He checked and is a bit taken aback when his notification box is about to explode from congratulatory messages and best wishes. He clicked to see that Shiho tagged him in a post. His jaw nearly touched the floor when he turned to look at a smirking Shiho who put up her ten fingers on the air flexing his claim on her.

In her post where Shinichi is tagged, she uploaded a picture of her left hand wearing the exquisite ring with the caption, “Does this ring make me look engaged?”

Shinichi captured her in an embrace and kissed her hand.

“Yes, you look engaged and you look amazing with the ring too, future Mrs. Kudo” he whispered in her ear before fully capturing her lips with a kiss that is the promise of a lifetime together.

#coaiss2019 #coai #secret santa #@coai #shinshi #kudo shinichi #miyano shiho #coffee shop au #@jackel-gull

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noxrynne · 7 years

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i dont really have the highest hopes for making the goal i had for school odds are i fail a class, do poorly in another or two, and maybe get by decently in one of them i really regret doing online courses since it always goes back to “oh i missed that because it wasn’t posted,” “oh the professors don’t use the news alert system when new stuff is added with a concise explanation of what I need to do in that post blurb that’s 3500 words of bs,” “oh i didnt realize this awkward and uncomfortable ‘post your personal assignments here that are about yourself so a bunch of strangers can also read and criticize it’ was required,” “the syllabus is written out of order, it’s messy and has a bunch of color code usage that’s never explained and makes reading it harder and, oh, they want me to print it out too bad i dont have a fucking printer and looking at it makes me want to throw up since it’s literally just everything put up on a page and i just start panicking because its so much stuff and it immediately overwhelms me” i also fuckin hate the professors who’ll say like “if you’re here just to get a degree you’re in the wrong place” b/c it’s like college costs a lot of fuckin money and you can bet your ass the only reason im here is to get a degree so i can eventually have a job that lets me be financially stable. trying to say “oh it’s just for funtime education” is bullshit when it costs what it does and isn’t even accessible to everyone from the get-go. i could learn the exact same shit for free from a fucking library and the internet, and talk to people i know if i have questions about material. but that doesn’t give me the piece of paper i need. idk i wish there was more of a “oh i can go do this and be fine financially” rather than needing to spend years in a university because i really hate it. i *wish* i hadn’t fucked up before and been as suicidal and couldve got through it *before* its used as a “yea we can’t have you here cuz you dropped out in the past” *even when* it’s an associated school with the one i *did* drop out of and they told me they *would* re-accept me when i was healthier. no im not a great student. i get overwhelmed really easily, i stress out over everything too much, i break down if i miss one assignment. i dont do well on the shit i actually try really hard at. i dont participate in class because it’s a terrifying experience to be called a fucking “idiot” again by a professor (ty philosopher dickhead at uwgb im gonna fucking punch you if i ever see you) i *forget* about assignments a *lot* and *yes* that’s a *my* problem thing but it’s something so extremely difficult to work around without having someone telling me about it, or just having a visible schedule written down about what’s due on a front page that always pops up. which i mean yeah it’s extra work i guess for the professor to just copy paste some info that’d really help me out, and no i dont have this issue as much in a traditional school b/c i actually *go* to the classes to sit in and be reminded through that. and yea im probly gonna fail out unless the other university sighs and says “well she did try and it was online” and ngl i probably would be *fine* in a regular classroom oriented thing *now* it’s more organized and there’s a schedule i can keep to and get into and when i get *into* a schedule i stick to it 100% b/c i derive a sense of security, existence and safety from having schedules. but if i fail out and they dont sigh and say “okay” then im kinda fucked. i mean, i could probably attempt to get through another year there and maybe go to the actual school instead of the online bullshit and *maybe* then i’d actually meet the reqs. but idk if that offer is gonna stand after this year. and idk im just back to feeling really fucking hopeless and empty. i mean ive been feeling this way all this month. i feel like nothings fucking worth it because i feel like i just cant do it. and that ultimately im gonna end up fucked. and i *know* im 90% of the problem. i *know* my thinking of “what’s the point” is screwing me over. i *know* accidentally falling asleep an staying asleep for a whole day is a fucking issue. i *know* i shouldnt forget important shit i need to do. i *know* i should participate no matter how fucking uncomfortable and frightened it makes me. but it feels fucking *impossible* to work with 0 energy. it feels terrifying to be asked “write an introspective piece about yourself and reflect on the events of your life that made you who you are today” BECAUSE i dont talk about THAT STUFF to people I DONT KNOW i *BARELY* covered those topics in *therapy* because of how uncomfortable they make me. and I DONT need a bunch of strangers in a class knowing the shit that happened to me. and fuck i feel like the entire idea behind the writing assignment was “oh this’ll be fun haha” but it’s like... remembering *most of the shit hat directly impacted how i am today* is one of the most fucking difficult things for me to do, especially publicly. i *regret* online schooling. i didnt realize how much i dont work with it until i thought about it this year. i get overwhelmed. i get stressed. i get depressed. i get suicidal. i get hopeless. i feel useless. i didnt realize i *need* to actually *go* to a class because it helps with the isolation i put myself in. because i straight up actually understand shit when someone is actually explaining it to me and not just handing me a textbook and saying “read it that’s it that’s the entire class, but oh, write an informed paper structured off what you read and if you dont understand the material well go fuck yourself i guess.” and in actually *going* there to a physical room it becomes easier to do things like homework and assignments *because i can walk over to the library*. what *really* shit on my previous school ability was like i was overwhelmed (we *just* moved to a *completely* different state and environment, i *just* had a series of panic attacks in italy b/c i thought i could handle it on my own) and the first school didn’t have a/c and it was fucking 101 outside every day and i dont do well in heat, and by that, i mean i hyperventilate, i get dizzy, i get lightheaded, i get emotional and frightened and stressed and cant sleep. the professor who asked if we read the chapter (I DID) and then pointed at me to explain what i read (I DIDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT), and when i finished he just laughed and told me to sit down and pretty much called me an idiot in front of everyone and i started crying. (i also got a 0 so i failed the reading since he didnt believe i read it). at *that* school there were no therapy or counseling or offers like that. the art building made me cry and feel unsafe (i couldnt control it), having to walk *all* the way back to my dorm building at 12AM b/c that’s when my one class ended was *terrifying* then in a different school it was just i had a class that made me physically uncomfortable to be in. i *hated* being in the freshman course for feminism so much. not b/c i hate the material, but i felt so “other” and uncomfortable b/c im a trans woman being asked about my male perspective on shit and i just. i remember leaving because i just felt upset and depressed and i couldn’t get over the really bad dysphoria i kept having in that class (the professor there was the reason i went to counseling on campus, she’s the one who referred me to it in the first place). on top of that, the dorm i was told id be getting was a fucking lie. i was supposed to have one or 0 roommates. i got 5 roommates. beds didn’t fit me b/c of my height (i slept with the back of my feet on an iron bar). the food was straight fucking garbage. one of my roommates just randomly touched me all the time. hugged me, put arms around my neck, *kissed my cheek*. another was always drunk and loud. another talked about making bombs incessantly. one of them seemed actually concerned about me and he came in once or twice when i was face down on my bed just not moving b/c of therapy sessions and talked to me once or twice to make sure i was still alive. friday mornings in winter id be up at 5AM, trying to get ready without waking any of the 5 other people, then walk outside with no access to breakfast/coffee/anything (b/c too early) to get to a class across and off the campus i had to walk to (and when snow was present my feet were numb b/c of all the water that got into my shoes). and then there was the legit getting 4 hours of sleep if that a week. eating basically nothing. extremely suicidal and getting to the point where i was having days where i legitimately could not discern what was real and wasn’t. and then i left ‘cuz my other option was to be hospitalized. from there its just been attempts at online schools. which i already tiraded about above. i mean fuck id be happy if i *could* just go work in retail and make a decent wage and not have to work every waking hour of my life to make it work. like. i *wish* i was lucky enough to be one of those “i had no degree but x really liked my resume” stories i always read about. i *wish* writing and publishing a book was considered and *was* a viable career option without needing to get really fucking lucky. im passionate about writing fiction, but in order to do that professionally, i need a 4 year degree from an institution. i can technically publish something, but if no one ever hears about it or cares, then it doesn’t become a job to have and it does little else. and then there’s also just a lot of irl shit i keep worrying about and dwelling on and nearly making some really fucked up or stupid decisions in the interim. and idk i just i wish i was one of those ppl who felt like they had a future and aren’t likely to die before age 25. or one of those people who just *does* something and it works out and they get to exist.

#its just a long rant i felt like i needed to get out

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takadasaiko · 7 years

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Demons at the Door: Chapter Eleven

FFN II AO3

Summary: Nez and Solomon try to figure out where they stand, Tom reaches out to Scottie, and the Keens make plans on where to go next.

Chapter Eleven: Every Step of the Way

The sound of the alarm blaring from her burner phone dragged Nez out of her fitful sleep. She forced her eyes open, groping for the phone and finally shutting the obnoxious sound off.

"Morning, sunshine," a voice greeted and she was halfway to her feet before she realized where she was.

She had heard more details about Tom's blowup with Howard the morning following it. Howard hadn't said anything about it to her and Dumont said everything in the systems looked clear, but he seemed a little more at ease with it than Nez felt. She wasn't ready to run for the hills just yet, but she hadn't wanted to go home that night either. She didn't think Howard would try to hurt them, but the man that had returned from the "dead" seemed very different from the Howard she'd known before. Underestimating him was a good way to get herself into trouble fast.

"Sleep well?" Solomon asked and handed her a cup of coffee.

She took a long whiff. Of course he had the good stuff. "Not really, but it was a bed."

"Says the woman that got the bed."

"I never asked for it. I was ready to sleep in the couch."

"What kind of gentleman would I have been if I'd let you do that? You made it clear you didn't want to share your sleeping space…"

She quirked an eyebrow, doing her best not to let her eyes linger too long. No one had the right to be that attractive first thing in the morning. There she was with her hair in all directions and barely caffeinated and he looked like he was just out of the shower after an early morning gym run. "Thanks for the place to crash, Matias."

"You know I wouldn't turn you away." He moved to the rack where several shirts and suits hung, his long fingers sorting through them. "He put you in quite the spot when he went to Howard like that."

Nez snorted softly as she sipped at her coffee. Yep. Definitely the good stuff. "It's his father, Mattie. I wasn't going to stop him."

"He put you and Dumont in the crosshairs."

"No, Howard and Scottie did. Listen, I know you don't like him-"

"I don't trust him," Solomon corrected as he chose a shirt, slipping it on and working at the buttons. "There's a difference."

"And he doesn't trust you, but he understood why I went to you. Better than I thought he would."

"Or he just had bigger problems with Mommy and Daddy setting off bombs all around." He crossed the space between them, his bare feet silent on the polished wood floors and his dark gaze sharp as it met hers. "You're playing with fire on this, Nez."

She cracked a small smile for him. "You know I like my life a little dangerous."

"This isn't a joke. You know how fond I am of Scottie, but this mess? I've seen some messed up families before, but this one has tragedy written all over it. If anyone gets out alive it'll be… impressive."

"Yeah, and where do you think I should go, huh?" she asked a little flippantly.

"With me." The words left him on a breath and Nez wasn't sure when he'd gotten so close. Without warning his moved forward and his lips were against hers, but she didn't pull away. Part of her knew she should, but it was at war with the part that simply didn't want to.

She felt him take the coffee cup from her with a graceful ease that didn't require him to break the kiss. Once both of their hands were free he guided her back down to the bed and she found herself in her back, Solomon leaned in over her and he deepened the kiss.

Nez rolled, not giving him much of a choice as she took him with her and suddenly she was on top. He chuckled, the sound soft and rough. "Come with me," he repeated and she stopped, the moment broken, and she sat back.

Solomon looked startled by the action and it took a moment before he sat up, the buttons of his shirt undone again and Nez rocked back. "I can't. You know that."

"You don't owe him anything," Matias said lowly, and Nez wasn't sure if he was referring to Howard or Tom.

"I know."

"Then why risk it? Come with me, Nez. We'll disappear. No Halcyon, no Cabal…" He gave her one of his most charming smiles and leaned in, stealing another kiss. "We don't need them."

"But they need me," she answered softly. "I need to see this through for me."

"You're going to get yourself killed,"

"Maybe. We'll see."

He sighed, moving so that he could stand and buttoned up his dress shirt. "Then that's your choice. Don't expect me to sit around with a target on my back and watch you take a bullet for one of the Hargraves that would never do the same for you."

He moved back to the rack, choosing a pair of slacks and changing. Just moments earlier there had been a very different feel to the room. It had always been there, that flirtation and those looks, but he'd never acted on it. It was part of his charisma and while Nez had been drawn to him, she had never been sure he felt anything - or that he was even capable of truly feeling anything - in return. In that moment, though, with the way he shut her out, she knew he'd taken a risk and she'd hurt him without wanting to.

Nez stood and he didn't move as she wrapped her arms around him from behind, her forehead pressed against his back in a physical touch that felt much more natural than it had been between them. "You can stay, you know."

"No, I can't," he snapped, pulling away. "This place is paid for through the end of the month. Stay if you don't feel like going home, but I'll be gone by this evening."

"Mattie…"

He sat in the bed, tugging on socks and shoes. "They will kill me, Nez. I know far too much and they've already tried once. They won't miss again if they get another chance. I'm not afraid to die, but I'll be damned if I give them a clean shot at me because you want to help Tom Keen."

Nez didn't find her voice before he stood, grabbed a cost from the hook, and was gone without so much as a goodbye.

Howard had been good to his word in one thing at least: Tom wasn't turned away when he handed over his ID to the guard. He was led back to the visiting room and after a few minutes, Scottie was brought in, cuffed to the table, and they were left alone.

"It's good to see you, Tom."

His expression didn't shift, remaining entirely neutral as he watched her. "Do you remember when we were looking for Copeland? I came into your office late one evening and you were looking for photos for the funeral."

"I remember."

"You told me that Howard had changed. I need you to tell me about him before he did."

Scottie Hargrave stared at him for a long moment. "Why?"

Tom closed his eyes. "He's told me about you."

She nodded slowly, her voice quiet in the beginning as she told him about meeting his father at a seminar and he'd asked her out for dinner. They'd gone, he'd charmed her, and they had talked well into the night until the restaurant was closed and they had to leave. She hadn't seen him or heard from him for weeks following until he showed up at her college campus. Things had moved quickly from there.

Tom let her talk, the stories leading where they did. She relaxed a little more when she spoke about him, her expression softening considerably. "He loved you then. With everything that happened, you should know that. You'll find out the truth about him and you'll need to know that before he… became like he is, he did love you."

That caught Tom a little off guard and he had to force himself back behind his own guards, the stories having pulled far too many emotions to the forefront. "And you? Did you ever love us?"

"Of course I did. You and your father were my whole world."

Her wording struck a nerve and Tom pushed it down hard. "I think it's time you and I are straight with each other, Scottie," he said, his expression even and his tone just a little dangerous. "I have Howard's research on you. Not just the flight report. That was inconclusive. I'm talking about the payments, the coded messages passed between you and your handlers."

"Tom, there are no codes-"

"Stop." She met his gaze and his voice was low as he spoke. "I've been in this business for a long time. Bud picked me up when I was fourteen. I graduated from the St Regis program faster than any other student. I was his best. Not the best he had then. His best. I know the spy game better than most spies ever will, so don't screw with me, Scottie. I know who you are. That's not the question."

"What's the question then?" she asked tightly, the sudden change causing her to retreat behind her own walls.

"Was it ever real or did you use us from the beginning?"

"Your father fabricated everything he's given you. I'm not what he says I am."

He saw the barest of flickers in her gaze up towards the camera in the corner. Dumont already had that covered, but Scottie didn't know that. She had no way to know that, and Tom thought he recognized fear buried deeply under her gaze. If she was afraid of him, of Howard, or someone else, he wasn't completely sure, but he was going to find out.

"Bill McCready raised you?" The question was soft and Tom looked over at her.

"Yeah."

She pursed her lips together. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged, standing. "Bud taught me how to survive. He… working for him put me in a place that got me to Liz and Agnes."

"If you love them you'll stop looking into this."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because you've already lost them once. I don't want to see you lose them again."

Tom stared at her for a long moment. "You're good, Scottie, but if you want my help - if you want anything at all from me - stop trying to manipulate me. All it's doing is making me trust you less."

He turned them, tapping on the door to signal he was ready to leave.

It had been a long day with little to show for it. There had been a lot of those on this case, but Reddington was determined it was important. Liz was starting to think that this Fischer really was a ghost and Red was distracting them on purpose.

She opened the door to the apartment and saw Agnes bouncing away in her little movable bouncer down the hall in the living room. As she rounded the corner she saw the little girl's father perched on the couch, tablet in hand, and reading through something. He looked up after half a beat. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," she greeted back. "What do you have your nose buried in?"

"Howard's papers."

"Good or bad?"

"Interesting."

Liz dropped her purse on the table and reached to scoop Agnes up. She squealed happily as her mother pressed a playful kiss to one of her chubby cheeks. "How'd the trip to see Scottie go?"

Her husband sighed and she risked a glance back at him. "She still won't admit anything. It was like she was nervous that they were listening. I need to find out who her handlers are."

"You think that they might have access to the feeds?" Agnes started squirming and she put her down on the floor to crawl where she wanted to go.

A soft buzzing sound drew Tom's attention and he looked at his phone, glaring at it was Howard's name left his lips irritably and he hit what looked like decline. "Depends who they are. I need resources to find out though."

Her gaze drifted back to the tablet. "And you think your dad's old papers will help you do that?"

"Sort of," he answered, meeting her gaze. "He built Halcyon on a careful structure and he was vocal about a lot of it. I think you were at least partially right about why he set Scottie up. If he felt like he had to build that computer for whatever reason, I think he knew the Board wouldn't stand for it, so he did it behind their backs and pinned it on Scottie. Two birds, one stone."

"So what? You're going to go to the Board with it?"

"They're the only ones with enough power in the company to sideline Howard and give Nez, Dumont, and me what we need to find out what really happened."

"Why would they let you guys do it?" She held her hands up at the look she received. "I'm just saying, if this were the Bureau and the Task Force was trying to handle it, we'd be told we were too close. Won't they say the same? You'll need leverage."

"I have it. With Scottie in jail and Howard possibly unqualified to lead the company, technically I hold the majority shares."

Liz stood there for a long moment, processing what he meant. "Honey, you'd have to tell them who you are."

"Pretty sure I'd put that one together," he teased with a very small smile.

"I mean…. You could end up running Halcyon if they decided neither of them were fit in the end. Scottie and Howard both have had their faces plastered all over the news because of their positions in the company. If it comes out that Christopher Hargrave isn't dead and-"

"Yes, Liz, I'd figured it out," he said a little more tightly this time.

"I just want to make sure you've really thought this through. This could end your career as a field operative."

There was a beat of silence then and he nodded slowly. "I know."

"And it's worth that?"

The quiet that followed the question was longer this time and she saw him struggling with it, everything in his expression saying it was something he'd been thinking about since he'd had the idea. It could change everything. If it was for the better or for the worse, she had no idea and he couldn't either. She knew he loved what he did and Halcyon provided him the perfect opportunity to do it, but if the truth meant giving that up….

Agnes let out a loud, irritated sound that she made when she wasn't getting the attention that she thought she deserved and Liz looked down to see she'd pulled herself up on the coffee table, her little face scrunched and determined and her eyes fixed on her daddy. Both parents watched as she let go, took a step towards him and put her arms out.

"Look at that," Tom managed, his smile creeping up on him. "Hey, baby girl, look at you! You want to try another one? Come see me?"

She did, managing another step and then another and he was up off the couch scooping her up before she tilted too far to her right to plop over. She giggled as he tossed her up and then held on tight. "That was amazing, Agnes."

Liz's own grin broke out just a little delayed. "And neither of us got it on camera," she laughed stepping over so she could join the mini celebration. "No warning, huh?" she teased Agnes.

"It's alright. We'll get the next one," Tom murmured and she saw him close his eyes, holding onto their little girl and Agnes clung to him in return, almost like she was trying to help the hurting to stop. Maybe she was.

After a long moment Liz saw dark blue eyes slide open. "Right now I think I have two options. I either need to try to walk away from Howard and Scottie and Halcyon for good or I need to jump in all the way and face what that could mean," he said slowly. "If I walk I have no idea what will happen to them. Maybe Scottie'll just spend the rest of her life in prison and Howard will keep running the company. They may not let me walk though. It's not like they'd have a lot of trouble finding me here." He took a careful seat. "If I don't, if I go in to the Board…. I'm risking Howard going to prison, maybe tipping off whoever Scottie's scared of, and…Scottie said that if I love the two of you, I'll drop this."

"Did she tell you why?"

"Not really. Just that I might lose you both again."

Liz pulled in a deep breath, letting the words sink in. They were up against the unknown, which always seemed to be the way. They had no one to trust but each other in it. As much as she knew the possible motives that Scottie and Howard had, she knew it was only a sliver. She couldn't blame Tom for not being able to trust them with so many secrets and so many unanswered questions. It was a struggle she knew well.

"You and I can protect Agnes," she said slowly, letting her eyes open and meeting Tom's gaze. "You and I will protect Agnes. We'll protect each other. You don't have to tell them everything about Howard. They don't know what you've found."

Tom gave her a lopsided smile. "Look at you being sneaky."

She rolled her eyes and smirked a little at him. "You are well aware what I'm capable of."

"I am," he answered.

Liz reached down and picked Agnes up, moving to put her in her playpen. "There's no reason for you to worry about potentially putting another parent behind bars before you have the full story." She heard him snort a laugh as she straightened, turning back to him and catching his eye. "It boils down to one pretty big question: would you be willing to retire from working in the field?"

"I thought I was before, but…" He looked down, almost as if he was afraid she'd be upset with him for hesitating on it.

Liz padded across the room and took a seat on the couch with him, reaching out and taking a hand in her own. "It's what you know, and you're good at it. It'd be like me having to face taking a job like Cooper's with the FBI. At this point in my life, that would terrify me."

"I'm still walking away from it if I cut ties with Halcyon."

"That's true, but there'd be a chance to find a different route. It would leave your options open. I can't imagine Halcyon is the only company that legally employs operatives, right?"

"No." He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes just a little. "You're not making this easier, you know."

"There's nothing easy about this, except for this." She squeezed his hand in hers. "You don't have to make the decision tonight, and whatever decision you do make you have two people that are going to support you in it. Agnes and I are not going anywhere."

He nodded slowly and tighten his own grip on her. "Thank you."

Liz tried for a smile and she released his hand only so she could wrap her arms around him. The angle was a little awkward, but she felt him sink into the hug, his fingers holding onto one of her arms encircling him, and they held onto each other like that for a long moment. She couldn't fix this for him and she couldn't make the decision for him, but she could be there with him every step of the way and support him, just as he'd supported her.

After a long moment she felt him drag in a breath. "We still have all my research, right? On my disappearance."

"Yeah."

"And the DNA test?"

She knew that tone. "Yeah."

He leaned back and as she released him she found his gaze determined as he nodded. "I have to do this."

Liz leaned into him. "I know, babe. I know."

Notes: May I just say that if we don't don't get Agnes' first birthday AND we don't see Agnes' first steps in S5, I will be very disappointed.

Next time - Agent Gale causes a lot of trouble for the Keens.

#the blacklist #the blacklist: redemption #Demons at the Door #Tom Keen #Elizabeth Keen #Nez Rowan #Matias Solomon #Scottie Hargrave #Agnes Keen #fanfiction

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romancevsreality-blog · 7 years

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vanderpump rules, season five, episode twenty-one: most. boring. finale. ever.

We’ve reached the end.

Hello darkness, my old friend.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a tornado, and that tornado is the drunken mess that is Sexy Waiters, or Vanderpump Rules. And now the tornado has passed and what am I left with? An unhappy marriage and a bunch of shitty friends AND a mess. I shouldn’t be saying that about Katie and Tom’s wedding, it wasn’t a mess. Not as much of a mess as it could have been - at least Katie didn’t wear a crop top wedding dress like Scheana did.

The episode opens with the bridal procession, and Tom is already ready to cry when he realizes he’s not marrying Lisa Vanderpump, he’s getting married BY Lisa Vanderpump. His suit isn’t nearly as hideously green as I imagined. He does blend into the background a little too much. He dramatically decides not to read his written vows and then takes it back - LOL, CLASSIC TOM - and we heard that Tom was the one chasing Katie, not the other way around. Everyone’s crying. Even Lisa Vanderpump’s crying.

I’M NOT FUCKING CRYING, THOUGH. HUZZAAAAAAH.

Tom Sandoval can’t stop thinking about how much he loves Tom Schwartz. He uses their dog as a tissue. Katie speeds through her vows and I barely get them, but they’re perfectly generic, just like her. Katie and Tom are married. They did it!

They’re Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz.

I think we’re all shocked.

Stassi mentions that Katie and Tom are the glue that keeps the group together, and she’s right. And that’s the reason why Tom married her, because he would lose all his friends if he didn’t. Kristen’s got wedding fever, too, and she wants Carter (blargh) to put a ring on it so she can stop wearing her fake engagement ring. Are people just not happy with claddaugh rings anymore?

Lisa and Tom Sandoval sit and talk about how Tom Sandoval wants to marry Ariana, and Tom’s tentative. They’ve never talked about it. Of all the couples on this show, I actually want them to get married. I think their wedding could be incredible, and their life together would be incredible. Lisa brings up the possibility of Tom Sandoval becoming a partner in Lisa’s new bar, and Tom is shocked. I mean, I get it. But of all of these people - Tom is probably the best option.

We’re treated to obnoxious speeches from 2/3rds of The Triplets Schwartz, Tom Sandoval, and Stassi. Stassi swears, of course. THeir band is a weird B-52s wannabe who wears yacht hats. Again: this wedding is exactly the Pinterest Nightmare I imagined it would be. Lisa forces Peter to have Stassi deliver her dinner, so all the good stuff they had going on last week is going straight out the window, I suppose. Lisa always wants to assert herself in her rightful place1.

Jax takes Brittany aside and drops the bomb that he doesn’t things are going well for them anymore. He loves her wfor who she is, and WHAT KIND OF PERSON PRETENDS TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE AT A WEDDING? Instead, he reassures her that if and when he decides to get married, it’ll be to her. I mean, good? I’m glad a guy that’s so old he could have invented divorce decide that now is the time to get married, I guess. But still - shit or get off the pot, Jax.

Tom and Ariana sit alone, and Tom reveals that Lisa wants him to be a partner in her new venture. Ariana cries. Tom cries. I love them so much. Tom mentions the idea that yeah, he loves her, he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. When he asks if they could begin the discussions of getting possibly married sometime in the future, Ariana’s still like, “WELL...... I MEAN.....” She doesn’t like the idea of getting married, but doesn’t want to let Tom down. I’m on Team Ariana about this. There was a long period of my life where I was convinced I would never get married. But then you meet someone who introduces that entire thought process into your mind and... yeah.

It’s hard to say no when someone says they want to marry you and spend the rest of their life with you. It’s hard to say no to feeling wanted.

Tom and Katie cut the cake, and Tom puts a dollop of frosting on Katie’s nose and she responds by trying to throw a whole hunk of cake at him. Classic Katie. Forever overreacting.

Lisa takes Sandoval aside and discusses the possibility of Schwartz being brought on as a partner in the bar, as well, with Sandoval handling back of house and the bar program, and Schwartz representing the face of the brand. She wants to name it TomTom, because clearly Vanderpump doesn’t know that TomTom Club gave us one of the best, most sampled pieces of music in modern history. TOMTOM CLUB ALREADY EXISTS, AND THEY’RE BETTER THAN ANYTHING THESE FOOLS COULD COME UP WITH. Sandoval loves the name, and Schwartz is drunk. He comes over and rejects the entire notion of being the face of a restaurant. Tom, who has basically not worked for five years, is being handed a full-funded restaurant and he can’t handle the responsibility already. I mean, if I were Katie I would be pissed - I’ve been working for Lisa for how long and my husband, who can’t even shake a cocktail shaker without having anxiety, is getting a restaurant?! Lisa’s making sure that these people are still employed by her and that this show gets another season. I see your moves, Lisa.

Stassi interrupts Ariana while she’s taking snapchats and asks why she’s never in them. Ariana can’t even pretend and is like “oh, my phone died!!! Sorrrrrrrrryyyyy.” Stassi asks if Ariana thinks she’s annoying, and Ariana’s like, “dude, you’re setting me up to fail with these loaded questions.” Stassi really cannot handle the fact that someone doesn’t like her and is open about it. She comments about that when Ariana’s mean to her, it hurts her feelings - but she doesn’t ask for Ariana to stop being mean to her, she asks for Ariana to start liking her. There’s a big difference between the two of them. Ariana can stop being mean to her, but that doesn’t mean she likes her at all. Ariana admits that she’s got other things going on in her life and doesn’t have time to expell the emotional labor that Stassi requires in being her friend. Much like my father, Stassi’s too much of a narcissist to realize that not everyone has to like you. Ariana cries because she’s got a ton of stuff on her plate. They mutually decide they’re acquaintances who would really like to murder each other.

THEN TOM SANDOVAL PLAYS THE TRUMPET.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!2

Lisa Vanderpump signs the wedding certificate, Jax says he “accidentally” slept with Kristen three times, and Katie’s “reception dress” is just as hideous as her wedding dress. Katie and Tom are married. Lisa’s happy to go back to Los Angeles. This episode is dullsville.

THREE MONTHS LATER, THOUGH.

Of course, because the producers needed to get coverage of the Shay/Shay divorce, we get a shot of Scheana, on the verge of tears, driving over to Villa Rosa and leaving a voicemail. I hate to admit it because she’s clearly in an emotional state, but Scheana looks the best she’s looked all season. It’s mostly because she’s not covered in pounds and pounds of makeup, methinks, but she also just looks defeated. Scheana talks to Lisa about how he disappears for days at a time, they’re barely speaking, and he hasn’t stayed with her in two weeks because he’s been staying at his parents’. Lisa rightfully calls their relationship bullshit, because if my husband went missing for six days, I wouldn’t be home when he returned. Sorry. She found out he’s not sober - he’s been taking Adderall - and she woke up one morning and found out he took $7000 from her, leaving her with $32. She’s done. Their marriage is done.

Thank god, though. Back at the Shay/Shay apartment, Shay is high as hell. You can just see it in his eyes - he’s on something. I mean, for Christ’s sakes, he has his ears pierced and she had no idea. Shay missed Scheana the entire time he was gone, but also can acknowledge the inherent fuckedupness of having to disappear for six days in order to feel like you’re being seen by you wife. You can get away with that shit for a day or two, Shay, but really - call your fucking wife. That’s what being in a relationship is about.

They’re both on the losing side of this, unfortunately. Scheana is selfish, emotionally immature, and naive, and Shay is a drug addict who needs to be around sober people and only sober people and he can’t do that with her.3 He denies being on drugs, and he enjoys being in the studio more than being with her. He doesn’t like her friends, or how her family treats him.

But Scheana’s over it. She’s going to visit a lawyer, and they’re getting divorced. The next exchange actually left me gasping:

Scheana: “Nothing lasts forever.”

Shay (crying, pointing between the two of them): “This does.”

God damn it.

Scheana pretty much tells him his room is a mess and his clothes are in a pile, but he can go. The season ends on a sad fucking note.

Random Observations from the Desk of Amanda:

This is the weakest season finale this show’s ever had. Blah, blah, blah, boring. Remember when Kristen punched James?

Sorry, won’t cover the reunions. I hate them. For reunion coverage, head over to Brian Moylan at Vulture!

Apparently the Danish girl who told them to kiss Katie was on Mr. Robot! That’s the closest to prestige this show will come.

SEE YOU MAY 23 FOR THE BACHELORETTE <3

Again, the best con ever pulled was promising these people wealth and fame while still forcing them to work for Lisa. Stassi will always be under her thumb. ↩︎

Not even going to acknowledge the fact that Carter talked to Kristen about having sex that night and making a baby. That baby would be satanic. ↩︎

Also, Scheana’s nails when she’s crying - girl I thought she was going to put an eye out with those monstrosities. ↩︎

#vanderpump rules

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