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daz4i · 3 months

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ok ok rather than make a bunch of annoying vent posts i'm just gonna put everything on my mind all in one post to let it out 🔥 you absolutely do not need to read this, this is honestly so ridiculously long. my brain better feel clean for like at least 2 days after this fr

i knew i was gonna crash after this week and i think this is it 🥲 i was so tense for literally a whole week (even more tbh, bc i was preemptively scared of how much i have to do too) and i think the adrenaline drop kicked in after the peak of this one (aka being in a big social event. haven't been to one of those in literal years)

also. my parents have been sick this week and i think i maybe have contracted it too? 😭 if that is indeed the case it literally kicked in in the last like hour of the event, i was perfectly fine beforehand bc i avoided being in the same closed space as them when i could (aka kept my distance or made sure windows were open around me all the time jic). bc suddenly my whole body hurts like it hasn't in a long while. tho that might be the adrenaline crash too who knows 🥲 ig i'll see how i feel when i wake up

i have not been creative in awhile and i can feel my brain drowning in gunk lol. technically i tried writing songs a couple of times lately but they came out so bad i can't finish them. or anything. and i feel like shit abt failing to create literally anything. and i keep seeing people be creative and make so much or sharing their work fearlessly and it's always so much better than mine too that i'm burning with jealousy that i can't turn off (and can't channel into my own creation bc well. it comes out shitty! so the cycle not only continues but in fact gets worse each time). every time someone tells me i'm good it feels like they're lying to make me feel better or bc they love me so they're. biased and see everything i make as good bc it's me, so i can't count that. every time *i* feel like smth i made is good there's some glaring imperfection i don't know how to iron out so i start hating the whole piece. i don't know how to become better when every time i try to practice i end up wanting to claw my own eyes out as punishment for being so talentless and dumb

(the dumb thing too is. oh my god this is gonna sound so silly but. i try to make myself feel better by solving puzzles or trivia or riddles etc bc these are things i'm usually good at. but lately i can't be proud of myself for succeeding at any of them, and i keep beating myself harder for every time i fail or don't do as well as i used to, bc it feels like i'm failing at the only thing i'm supposed to be good at. also i just generally keep doing stupid things lately esp when it comes to my time management or taking care of my body in various ways, i keep forgetting things which is smth i almost never do, i struggle to get through conversations with others bc i trip over my words or make mistakes constantly, generally i'm just being stupid in various ways)

right now i am. so anxious. about so many things. here let me just make it into a list starting with very small to. probably still small but it feels big to me

1. this is so silly but. i am literally too tired to put small earrings back in after changing them to long one for the party. and i'm scared the holes will close up in my sleep. but this is literally so much work 💔 idk if the holes haven't healed properly or if i'm using the wrong metal so i keep getting infections bc it's been A While (two years. apparently. maybe more??) and they haven't healed yet. like i said a silly thing to get stressed over but i am. very tense

2. i don't know. if the people i knew in the party actually didn't recognize me or if they ignored me on purpose. bc i stood next to some of them while my besties were talking to them too and they didn't even say hi (or like introduced themselves the way others that i didn't know have done). one of them was literally my bestie for a good few months a few years ago and even tho i grew a beard i. don't think i changed THAT much??? also i don't think it's hard to make the connection abt who i am given how tight this community is. someone i haven't talked to since like 2015 bc we had beef recognized me even. so how come they didn't. i met one in a con recently and she did recognize me so. h. did i do something wrong. did someone say smth bad about me. i don't know i don't understand social rules enough to figure it out 😭

3. this is another thing abt that tbh 🥲 while it was very fun and a super cool event, it did remind me very painfully of why my social anxiety is so bad 😭 i felt like i made 10 social errors per minute. i didn't know what to say half the time so i just smiled or laughed and i think that made me seem creepy idk. a lot of people were very nice and i think i did mostly fine with them but also maybe not. idk. i am definitely overthinking things but what if i'm right. it's not that out of the question. i am known to fail social interactions there's a reason why i do my best to avoid them

4. and this is kinda bringing me to a thing i have on my mind a lot recently. bc i'm doing the recovery thing. and a lot of people - friends family and professionals who help me there - tell me i am capable of more than i think or admit. and i get WHY they think that bc i *am* doing a lot compared to the literal nothing i've been up to for years. but i am very much pushing outside my limits, which is why i'm constantly feeling like shit lately i think (not that i was doing great before but. yeah). it probably seems mostly effortless bc i just do them without beating much around the bush but that's only when i mentally prepare myself days or even weeks ahead (for reference, i'm talking about things like. being in public. or taking a bus). or the work i do for projects that... honestly idk how i'm doing that either. i am the laziest person ever and i have no ability to concentrate yet i managed to sit down and do work and do it well and learn text by heart and research and write for hours and ??? it does not feel like myself. but it also kinda does bc i need to very forcefully push myself into it and berate myself for hours until i actually get up to do anything so. it's not smth that comes naturally to me. i don't consider myself capable of things. i'm just very good at pretending i'm unbothered (up until i start crying uncontrollably at least lol) so ppl think i am. unfortunately. bc then they expect me to do more. or they pressure me into it then get disappointed when i can't do it (ig that's the core of it for me... i don't want anyone to develop expectations about me, bc i know i won't be able to meet them, at least not long term. so i insist i can't do anything, bc sometimes - often - i really really can't. i don't wanna be judged by my best. feels false to even call it that tbh. but that's bc it's so rare, it's the best for a reason, the absolute peak i can get to, as pathetic as it is. bc the problem is, when this is already beyond my limits, i literally can't go further, but that's what they want me to do 💔)

5. god. this is also a small thing probably but the accidental lie i mentioned. for context i am giving a lecture abt p5's mythology in the next con, that's the thing i was working on lately. anyway when i signed up i gave background information about myself, and to make myself sound more fitting for the job i said that i learned the topic in [university that specializes in said topic] bc i did - just. 2 classes. that's it. i was telling the truth there, technically (most of my knowledge on the topic comes from independent research, but the classes i took did help with that too, as in i knew where to look for info and things to look out for) (also for reference i'm gonna be fr. i did not finish these classes. social anxiety got to me and i was scared to go to anything outside zoom lessons which weren't an option anymore unfortunately)

ANYWAY when they told me i got in they sent me a "revised" bio which was just what i originally sent them, so i said okay. but now the whole thingie was posted and i can see my bio there and. they said i graduated from [uni] and used language that implies i have a degree in it, probably to make me sound more credible, but it's not true!!!! 😭😭😭 the thing i said was definitely embellishment but it WAS true enough that if asked directly about it i could spin it somehow ("oh i haven't finished yet" "yeah i took a couple of classes when i could to enrich my knowledge") but this. makes it so much harder

chances are i won't be asked bc why would anyone ask abt that. but ever since i started writing the script i was so stressed about people calling me out for being wrong abt info, so i even added a disclaimer of "these are old texts that have many versions that vary according to location or were changed with time uwu if you know a different version of this story that's probably why uwu" and "due to the time constraint i'm giving a very simplified and short version of this topic uwu" bc given that i'm talking a lot abt judaism. to a mainly (or most likely, entirely) jewish audience. it's enough that there is someone who is religious or previously ultra orthodox in the audience that if i make a mistake they could point it out. and then i'll start panicking and lose my train of thought and fuck everything up while i'm already so stressed as is and-

so like i've been super stressed abt all that^ until now but that misinfo in my bio is raising the stakes for me 😭 bc now what if someone who went to this uni and majored in this topic calls me out on never seeing me there. or they can tell the info i'm giving isn't smth that's taught there or isn't the way it's taught there. this is such a specific and unlikely fear but i can't not stress about it because TECHNICALLY it's possible, it COULD happen even if that's not too likely

6. all of this is while i'm also struggling with bureaucracy around that art program i'm signing up to, idk if i'll get in yet or not bc i need some files to be approved and idk if they would, and idk what i'll do if they don't. or what if they do! i'm honestly so scared to start it, idk how i'm gonna go from nothing to waking up early and driving an hour 4 times a week to be active and around people for a few hours. tbh i don't think i can, but also if this gets approved then i have to, so the government's money doesn't get flushed down the toilet bc of me.

7. all this shit has a major impact on my physical health 🥲 not getting into details bc that's def tmi territory but. i'm fighting for my life over a certain stress-caused medical thing for weeks now. only other time i had it was when the war originally started so naturally i was extra stressed then, but like, this is to give you a reference for how majorly stressed i am now. my regular pains are flaring up more often too which makes things harder to handle as well (like, stressing abt not doing enough work, bc i'm literally in too much pain to do anything but lie down. or being scared of the plans i have for the week bc what if these pains catch me when i'm outside or with people. how am i supposed to push through them. what if they catch me when i'm in public and i have to sit down in the middle of the street. what if i'm with people and i'm holding them back from doing smth bc of that. etc etc)

8. ofc all this is happening during the war and i keep seeing things i really don't wanna see from ppl in my country and the west 🥲 and it's like, the mix of guilt over this happening at all, and the frustration over feeling like i have nothing to do about it, and fear about how things are gonna escalate in either direction, and seeing friends from other countries posting things i agree with but can't condone full heartedly bc well. this'll hurt me directly, as selfish as it sounds (tbf, when i say hurt me directly, i'm talking about me and my loved ones' lives being endangered), but also seeing said loved ones talking about things i can't agree with morally, yet can't fully refute either because life is. complicated. i have a lot more to say tbh but i'm too tired to acknowledge every single facet of every single related issue which will open me to a lot of hate so. best to leave it here. unfortunately

idk where to put this. sorry for the sudden topic change. it feels bad to be stressed over that but, there is a guy who i know likes me like a lot. i think i'm like exactly his taste and he's always so excited about seeing or talking to me. one of my besties - or maybe more. idk - really wants us to get together bc tbh it'll probably be good for both of us, and y'all know how desperate i am to be loved lol. but i can't bring myself to like him the way he likes me 💔 he's fun but i have a hard time with one on one interactions so i can't really progress things and tbh, idk if i'm currently in a mindset where i even should, given all that^. also i know for a fact i can't handle an actual relationship, and i'm scared i'll disappoint him or drive him away if i'll be my real unfiltered self, and ik i need to be obsessed with someone to get attached this quickly but i can't force it either. and to put it more directly... i'm perfect for him and his taste, but not the other way around 🥲 (tho tbf idk what my taste even is. i identify as aroace for a reason). i don't wanna string him along but i think i already kind of am 😭 i like him but not as much as he likes me, but what i probably like here even more is the feeling of being liked. and that makes me feel like a dick. i also feel guilty for not liking him the same way ig even tho ik it's stupid bc it's not like i can control it. and yet

so yeah this is. a lot of shit. all at once. both silly and not silly at all. my brain is in constant overload. i get violently suicidal every time i have a moment alone with my thoughts or when i see anything that reminds me of that. bc all this stress makes life feel so impossible - it IS impossible - that i can't handle the thought of it, but half of the things that cause me stress are supposed to be for the purpose of distracting me from how stressful everything is. so. what the fuck am i supposed to do about all that. how am i supposed to live like at all

#vent #this was written very out of order #i don't expect anyone to read this but if you do. 1 sorry 2 are you okay 3 i love you #it feels better to post things than to just write them in a doc yknow??#not sure why. maybe it's the feeling of not being alone with these thoughts ig. or getting some external validation #it did help tho. i feel like i can actually go to sleep now maybe. wow #edit: holy shit i just checked. this took nearly 2 hours to type. wtf. damn guess i really needed that akdkglhlj #btw if you do read this you gotta like this post 🧐 so. i know. bc i like knowing. sorry

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majorplayer · 6 months

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i moved to a new place 3 months ago and the best internet here is so bad (17mbps....without vpn enabled) that i can't reliably play MMOs, at least not ones like toontown servers since they fully kick you off the game the literal millisecond your connection gets funky in any way. i can actually play most roblox games as long as i'm ok with a lot of textures never loading and me rubberbanding a lot, but toontown is so triggerhappy about kicking you off that i just can't play it without fear of being reported for "maliciously alt+f4ing" or something. or worse, DCing with pace at 100 health. so i haven't fucking played clash in these 3 months. i gave it as long as i could to see if i could adjust to this shit ass internet but i have been so upset that i can't play clash that i'm about to get fucking starlink. like. clash is honest to god my #1 motivation for it. i want elon musk to sudoku as much as anyone else on this website but by god would starlink save my life. a couple of my neighbors have it and they get 100mbps. omfg. i can't even fathom what 50mbps would be like, much less 100. i had 200mbps at my childhood home that i just moved out of. life could be a dream. anyways so basically i'm spending almost my entire next paycheck on starlink because i want to play clash again without getting banned for constantly disconnecting

#sorry i needed to get this out somewhere because i have stoically kept quiet about my situation for the most part #i do log into clash every once in a while just to exist for a moment but i can't Do anything #lol when i first understood the internet situation i logged into clash and took note of how many friends my main has since i knew #i wouldn't be able to play anymore. the number has only gone down by 1 so shoutout to the real ones lmao. anyways #i'm just gonna have to live with the guilt of starlink. like honestly? i hate jeff bezos too but you HAVE to use amazon where i live now #like i'm sorry but the nearest grocery store is a 3-4 hour round trip away. ANY shopping is genuinely a Whole Day type of thing here #i wouldn't even go into town regularly Period if i didn't have prescriptions to pick up monthly at the pharmacy #out here you go cold foods shopping once a month and everything else you order online. and amazon actually delivers out here somehow #and you only go cold foods shopping if you don't want to pay for the only online service known to deliver cold foods and frozen meat here #i am honest to cog shocked that we even have one single ordinary internet service out here period. it's DSL but still #and 17mbps is faster than i would expect from it for how goddamn remote this place is #it has done the best it can for me but i need better. and unfortunately the only “better” is starlink #original

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numbaoneflaya · 1 year

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On hold w the internet ppl yet again like do you have any idea how serious this is. My mutuals need me. You think they can survive like this? Do you think this is healthy? The birds could get them at any moment I need to be there to protect them *growls*

#this only took 7 hours to type w how laggy this app is #hmm maybe I should upgrade from an iPhone 4 <delusional and has 3$#IM SNOWED IN THERES 10000 FT of snow outside can’t go anywhere and no internet AND it’s cold as shit. I need to animorph into a wolf #every 1 thumb scroll on the dash takes 42 seconds and costs me 3% battery life #growl bite hiss

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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Absolutely fascinating to be in the middle intersection of knowing that Thing is really popular, and that because Thing is popular there's a fair bit of vocal backlash to thing (because people are very mad Thing is popular when they don't like it) and you find yourself running through the unpleasant takes (not bad, just not what you're here for) from people who don't like Thing like snow white running through the scary fucked up forest until you finally find the fucking cottage where people who like Thing talk about Thing. Then you pass out in the cottage and when you wake up a bunch of small and opinionated creatures still carrying their burdens from the content mine arguing about Thing and also now your presence in relation to Thing bc you were clearly fleeing from the bad takes forest. This metaphor isn't what I wanted it to be but you get the idea

#ramblings of a lunatic #it's 20 to 1 in the am rn I am waiting for this stupid fucking DVD to encode #I've been doing this for 11 hours and 15 minutes according to the tracker and I'm. actually so close to the brink of eternal damnation #because of the fucking disk #anyway i. am not your dad and cannot tell you how to live your life but I do think that it's probably a tad impolite-#-to tag your dislike of Thing with nothing except the Thing tag. like no ''Thing critical'' no ''anti Thing''#or anything else that's easy to censor and block #just putting it in the tag for people who like Thing #alright. that's a choice but alright #I'm very tired.#either someone needs to rock me to sleep like a baby or theh shoot me out back like a dog #hi sorry i took a break from making this to check on DVD and IT DIDN'T WORK!!!! I FUCKING ENCODED IT WRONG AND FOR WHAT #TO WAIT FOR ELEVEN HOURS NOT KNOWING I FUCKED UO #IT'S ONE AM #GOD FUCKING DAMMIT #fuck it. man. I'm finishing my big essay tomorrow anyway. I'm gonna fuckin. do that. and then I'm gonna burn these dvds #i only have about. 3 days to do em all (and i still need to get some. sweats)#but yknow what fuck it what else am I doing. who cares!!!#i was gonna type something mean here but i have to hope that my fuckups and failures will not be for nothing #god. anyway #night yall. happy last day of December

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myname-isnia · 10 months

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Since I’m visiting back home I have stolen borrowed my sister’s switch to play Pokemon and animal crossing, and that, of course, got me thinking about if Pokemon existed in the avatar universe, which ones would my OCs have

(Up front, I don’t see either of them going into competitive championships, too much shit going on in their lives to even consider it. Oh, and also, my knowledge of Pokemon comes entirely from my sister infodumping, me watching the entire first season of the anime twice, getting a bit too invested in Hanamusa fanart and playing Y, Moon and Shield (never getting to the end of a single one rip) so keep that in mind)

For Midori I feel like she’d have the ones that she could naturally find in the backyard while doing gardening or other work – oddish and bellsprout and budew and the like. Maybe a sandshrew or caterpie or rattata. I’m completely obsessed with eeveelutions so if she had an eevee, it’d evolve into a sylveon bc of how much love Midori has to give. Starter-wise, if she had one despite not doing competitive battling, definitely a bulbasaur, but since she doesn’t use it for anything but help around the garden it probably wouldn’t ever evolve, though they’re both okay with that. And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t shoehorn some angst in, so before the RL left for the South Pole, Ghazan gave Midori his camerupt for safe keeping, saying it would protect her in case she needed it. She hides the pokeball with it from Haya and only lets it out of she knows no one will see her, terrified Haya would do something to such a blatant reminder of her brother

Suiren’s a bit harder since she has enough to worry about without getting a bunch of animals involved, but theoretically, I’m thinking squirtle for a starter that she has managed to evolve into a wartortle but not further yet. Eeveelution wise vaporeon would be the obvious choice but with her cold nature I think she’d invest in an ice stone instead and get a glaceon. I like to imagine that while she was travelling for a mission one day she ran across an absol in the mountains and took it home despite knowing the rumours it was a bringer of disasters and a bad omen (she relates to it, but you couldn’t waterboard that out of her). Maybe she found a yanma in the swamp at some point and kept it once she found out how cool its evolution looks. Likewise, she found a phantump and, remembering how phantumps come to be, couldn’t bear the thought of leaving it (and, well, its evolution and how it controls trees through roots reminds her of the swamp). Back with the angst, she inherited her mom’s milotic (Ming-Hua was a kid when she found the ugliest fucking fish she’d ever seen in a swamp lake and snuck it food. It warmed up to her and eventually she stole a pokeball and caught it. Fast forward a few years and it suddenly became the most gorgeous pokemon in existence. Shit happens). She hides it too but once she learned how to navigate the swamp she takes it to that very lake.

Suiren leaves her pokemon with Midori when she goes on missions, not wanting to endanger them, and every time Midori is scared that those pokemon will end up being the last things she has left of her sister, just like the camerupt and milotic are the last things left of her parents

#this post is very ironic considering there are characters named Suiren and Midori in pokemon #Midori was a girl from season 1 who took care of a bulbasaur and a bunch of oddishes and rattatas and the like #ash got his bulbasaur off her #and Suiren is the gen 7 water type gym leader #the Pokemon characters actually parallel what my Suiren and Midori are like lmao #though in the English dub of pokemon Midori and Suiren are called Melanie and Lana #so I didn’t even know for the longest time lol #idk it’s past 4 a.m maybe I’m being completely incoherent #I’m sorry it seems like I gave Midori less thought #she’s just genuinely the type to care for every living creature that passes through her garden #so it’s easy to name a few and be done with it #while Suiren is not only very selective but also not prepared to care for a lot of Pokemon #so it’s a lot more concrete for the ones she finds and does keep #again I’m running on six hours of sleep and have a pounding headache maybe I’m not making any sense #seeds of the red lotus #sotrl suiren #sotrl midori #pokemon #also of course this devolved into angst have you forgotten who I am #kinda have the urge to draw smth based on this tbh #but not rn bc I’m exhausted

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aweirdbugcreature · 8 months

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Guy who buys the groceries left at the cash register, girl who drinks the milk and cheese packet from Mac and cheese, nby who stares at a gif listening to music for 10 minutes

#my post #inspired of stuff i done and stuff i will absolutely never do #2 truth 1 lie type shit #dude i'm so fucking funny i swear to you #meme #just shitposting #two posts in a roll #wow #i think maybe is that i'm in a bus and i took a nap of 1 hour and my body is doing whatever the fuck it wants idk why i'm this happy #i've wanted to kill myself all week lmao #what ovulation does to a mf #also don't mind me i'm oversharing on the internet 👍#i'm so fucking hungry though oh my god

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clementimetodie · 2 years

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if you want to know how out of date the average doctor's knowledge on type 1 diabetes is, when I was at the hospital they expected me to have non/gestational diabetic numbers, but also expected me to give myself insulin 2 hours after a meal instead of a half hour before

#if I took insulin after I would have high blood sugar for several hours #you take it before to avoid the spike #also it's much harder to control t1 than gestational in general #type 1 diabetes

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mayoiayasep · 2 years

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ah yes. bad habits vs any sense of self preservation i have

#i want to stay up the whole night but i know i'll just be miserable but i dont want to sleep but god if i stay up much longer it'll suck-#-but i know that this is literally just my head talking so i can ignore it but god its going to suck going to sleep and i dont want to have #-to get up from the chair im in bc im so tired for no fucking reason and i still have practice tmr and god.#if i stay up im gonna start crying if i go to bed im gonna start crying. love loses #it took me 2 fucking hours to type this out bc i didnt want to complain too much but hey what the hell my brain hates me anyyway #vent #sorry lol being up until 1 am will do shit to your brain ig

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crow-with-a-pencil · 2 years

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Pokemon Type: Flying! :D

Murkrow, Archen, Emolga, Gliscor, Cramorant, and Corviknight

You just so happened to choose my favorite type :D (unrelated to the amount of crow pokemon lmao)

#I don't CARE about archens weak ability I LOVE HIM #un evolved for balance and aesthetic preference #sorry this took a few hours I was thinking it through bc now I wanna draw this as a gym leader team #also in every playthrough I always have a flying type on my team no matter what #always one(1) bird #the last three are named Glitter Mango and Corr after my actual teammates #the Cramorant is shiny tho #corvid answers #pokemon #sry about the ramble I think about this a lot

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eijihino · 6 days

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17, 30, 65, 72

U WANT ME DEAD I THINK JFC

17 is Win Hareruya !

The Geats lore is so complicated but we're narrowing it down to Just Win so ! My s/i (and urs) actually knew Win before anyone was involved with the DGP and he was still active with Weather Hearts, being a close friend of his as well as a fan of the band's. The two had a a bit of a banter where she'd tease and make fun of him while he'd purposefully act stupid to get a few laughs, it was pretty obvious to everyone how they felt about each other. And then once Win disbanded Weather Hearts and fell into that depression, she tried to help him through it and stand by him, wanting to be there for him when he needed it. However, when he joined the DGP staff, he essentially straight up disappeared, and so she went looking for him, which caught the attention of Girori. He essentially wiped her memory of Win so that she wouldn't get in the way of anything and so Win could focus on work, which pissed Win off when he found out but he couldn't do anything about it and accepted it, watching over her from afar. Eventually, she entered the DGP herself, to which Girori then wiped Win's memory of her so that he wouldn't let himself get distracted from his mission of taking Ace down, who my s/i had gotten closer to in this time.

Thus we reach the point of the Conspiracy Arc, where the two of them have no memory of each other. Win starts to flirt with her the same way he would flirt with Tsumuri because he knew it'd bother Ace, something that confuses the hell out of my s/i and doesn't really take him seriously as a result. However, eventually the two are paired together during a mission, and being forced to work together causes some of their old banter to come back, stirring up strange feelings for the both of them but also confusing them because they can't remember. Win also saves her from a jyamato attack during this, saying how he'd always protect her and her promising to always protect him in turn. However, once Win is betrayed by Girori, some of his memories start to return and he remembers how the two of them were close and his feelings for her, but before he can tell her anything he is brainwashed by Girori and later 'killed' in front of her. This messes her up bad, because she was developing strong feelings for him as well as feeling as though she broke her promise to protect him, thinking she failed him. Ace helps her through this, but she later chooses to change her DGP wish from wanting more self confidence to 'I want Win Hareruya to come back.'.

Of course we know Win isn't actually dead at this point but due to being under the close watch of Niram he can't actually make himself known, choosing to watch over her again and fully regaining his memories. She, in turn, also regained her memories thanks to Chirami returning them for the sake of 'drama', thinking it'd be more entertaining for the viewers if she remembered. They go the rest of the show like this until he returns, which once they get a chance to they talk it out and finally confess their feelings, making them yet another long ass slow burn jfc

30 is Kento Fukamiya !

My s/i grew up alongside Kento in the Sword of Logos, making them childhood friends of sorts- although she didn't know Touma or Luna. She overtime developed a crush on him, though was pretty discouraged as he didn't seem to notice her outside a platonic light and he had a few people falling for him already, so she just figured she never had a chance. In reality, he had also fallen for her, but due to the trauma of what happened with his father, he never really allowed himself to focus on it, knowing his feelings but never acting on it because he felt as though he didn't deserve her. However, once shit starts going down with Calibur and Kento gets hurt, he tries to pass it off as nothing despite his reckless behavior and this causes her to snap a bit, telling him that he clearly wasn't fine and that he needed to rest, shocking him as she's normally quiet around him. Eventually this leads to well. the Sad Thing. She's there as Kento is 'dying', and he decides that now is the the time to tell her how he feels about her, confession his love and asking her if she felt the same way. In tears, she responds that she does, specifically saying, "Of course I do! How could I not?" Content to at least know that, Kento then 'dies' soon after.

Except we know he didn't die, and instead was put through the death loop! It's in here where he one, sees the fact that my s/i starts dating Touma (which he's fine about Touma's great), and two, sees her die in horrific fashions thanks to the time loop ! So, naturally, he's a lil stressed out when he finally gets out of there KJHGHJKJHGH. Once Kento is revealed to be alive, the two are sort of 'at odds' due to his wanting to seal away the swords, only not really because they can't really bring themselves to fight each other. Instead, she finds him and they have a talk, making their stances clear and that she will insist on finding another way with Touma. She also makes clear that while she's dating Touma and does love him, she also still loves Kento as well. He tells her he knows this, and that once everything is settled and everyone is safe the three of them can talk about how to go about everything. And then of course once Kento returns properly, they do just that, talking through it all and well. since Touma and Kento are best friends it works out pretty easily she just dates both of them KJHGHJKJHGHJK so now she has two giant ass boyfriends.

65 is Sakyo Furuichi !

So my s/i and Sakyo actually don't get along at first KJHGHJKHGHJK. It's because he's so rude initially and trying to tear down the Mankai building, but she and her twin will not allow that! So they work to build it back up to its former glory! This starts a lot of banter, with her annoying the hell out of him which only increases once he actually joins the theater itself as an Autumn Troupe member. There's no solid confession point for rn but it's mostly just chaotic gremlin meets grumpy tsundere it's fun! Also he definitely has a soft spot for her lmao he just won't show it.

and then 72 is Satan from Obey Me ! nsfw mentions dw is not detailed KJHJKJHGHJKJH

YOU WANT ME DEAD KJHGFGHJKJHGHJK so uh. well. my s/i was technically already vaguely aware of some of the shit with the demons thanks to her twin being a witch (the blair witch, to be specific lol), but didn't know who they were or what they looked like. So when she and her twin ended up in the devildom as part of the exchange program it got a lil crazy LKJHJKLKJHJK. But she ends up getting introduced to the demon bros and all that and specifically she sees Satan !! who is. very much her type KJHGHJKJHJK so later she's with her twin joking around and essentially makes the joke that she would sleep with Satan if given the opportunity. Which. Well. Satan overhears and is like "bet" and well. yeah that happens KJHGHJKJHKJH. Because of this she ends up being really shy around him because it's normally not something she'd do which ends up really amusing him and endearing her to him, making him have a soft spot for her and immediately making a pact with her when she asks while her twin has to work a bit harder at it JHGHJKJHGHJKJH. Also no set confession here but honestly the way obey me is set up it's not required KJHJKJHJKLK

#THIS TOOK ME HOURS #I STARTED TYPING THIS AROUND 11:40 #IT'S 1:36 #anyway #win uwu #kento uwu #sakyo uwu #satan uwu #funniest fucking tag ever #twin uwu #ask games

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nanaslutt · 7 months

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PLEASE write more of geto being a perv🙏🙏

“pt.1” here

Geto x reader, in showing you how sorry he is for being a creep<3

perv!geto is my obsession atm

contains: fem reader, non consensual photography (reader is kinda ok w it), pervy roomate!geto, crack, gojo makes an appearance, talk of gojo wanting reader, sexual tension, cunnilingus, masturbation(geto), degradation, soooooooo much dirty talk, sweet!geto at the end<3

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

About a week ago you were watching a scary movie with geto on your laptop, drinks placed on the table next to it; dumbly.

So of course when the scariest jump scare you’ve ever seen in your life occurred, your legs jerked into the glass of liquid, spilling it all over your laptop and absolutely ruining it.

“God- Fuck! Noooo! nonono!” you shot up to grab a blanket, pillow, anything, to soak up the liquid, “TAKE YOUR SHIRT OF NOW,” you yelled in a panic to your dark haired roommate, who; you noticed throughout this entire excursion had barely moved a muscle to help, besides the muscles used to laugh at you.

“Babe I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that shit is beyond saving,” he laughed, placing his hand over his chest while he did.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck, I use my laptop every single, and day I absolutely cannot afford to buy a new one right now.” you placed your head in your hands in defeat.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” geto said, at the end of his fit of giggles at your expense.

“Yeah right, ur broke as shit too, that’s why we’re living together.” you said, muffled into your legs as your body had now fully collapsed in on itself.

“Yeah ur right, but that kinda hurts my feelings,” he said, smirk showing through his faux pout, “thought you liked livin’ with me,”

The two of you bickered back and forth for a while. You ended up putting the laptop in a bag of rice; to no avail, it was completely ruined.

Geto had been nice enough to let you use his laptop in the meantime; only when he was with you though, which you found slightly weird but at least you had access to it to some degree.

Right now you had the house to yourself though. Satoru had picked him up half and hour ago, saying something about wanting to try some new coffee shop with word famous sweets; that meant you had free range of his laptop.

You knew how to clear search history, so you would be fine. You just wanted to watch a movie anyways, nothing criminal.

Sneaking into his room, you unplugged the silver electronic, sliding it under your arm as you took it back to your room. Placing the laptop on your bed and getting comfortable against your pillows, you cracked it open, You had accidentally seen him type in his password before, so getting in was no problem.

What was a problem is what was on the screen when the laptop came to life. An entire folder of up skirt panty shots; and not just anyone’s panty shots; they were yours.

Scrolling through the decently filled folder, you noticed ones that dated back months ago. You saw a picture of you laying on your bed, head in your hands while you kicked your feet behind you; the short skirt you were wearing gave geto the perfect view of your unobstructed ass, slight pink peaking between your cheeks.

Other too, you doing more mundane things like sitting on your knees on the barstool you had in the house, poking out your ass, once again giving that dark haired pervert the perfect shot of your clothed mound.

You were almost impressed at how many there were, and how make different angles he was able to get without your knowledge.

Trying to wrap your head around the idea that yes, your sweet roommate who has never attempted to come onto you once, had a secret folder filled with lewd photos of you.

Saving the file, you sent it to yourself. Once you heard the chime on your phone you quickly copied the link, and sent it to the culprit himself, no other message attached to it but the folder alone.

——

“Ummm ooh, I’ll also get the triple chocolate cream filled crepe cake please! What do you want suguru?” gojo chirped.

Geto started at him with disbelief, he had just ordered 5 full size deserts with the longest name he’d ever heard; all sounding like a stomach ache and a half; and they were all for himself.

“Right..uh, i’ll just get the vanilla scone and a black coffee please.” Geto politely spoke to the man taking his order.

Gojo continued conversing with the cashier, finishing up ordering any last minute items and paying.

Geto felt his phone buzz in his pants, checking it quickly while gojo finished up the interaction; both of them starting to walk to booth in the corner of the cafe.

Suguru’s heart sank to his balls when he opened your message. He knew you were mad too, because you didn’t say anything else other than a link to his private folder of your panty shots. “Fuuuuuuuuuck haha,” geto laughed, hand coming up to cover his smirk as they slid into the booth.

“Huh? let me see, what happened?” Gojo nosed, trying to peek over the table at geto’s phone when he noticed it was the source of his distress.

“I might have to sleep at your house tonight, maybe for the rest of my life I don’t know.” he said, hand dropping back into his lap as he shut his phone off.

“Did you forget to do your dishes or somethin’?” he asked, knowing how angry you got at Geto when he didn’t pick up after himself.

“Yeah maybe, or maybe my roommate just found the upskirt pics i’ve been taking of them for the past couple months.” he giggled, slight remorse in the back of his head. Not from doing it, but from being caught.

Gojo’s jaw dropped, covering his own mouth as he let out a boisterous laugh. “Hahaha oh man, you really are fucked.” the blonde slapped his own knee, “I’ll let you co-sign my lease tonight,” he said, scared that if suguru went home, he might actually get murdered.

Geto kicked satoru’s shin underneath the table, making him wince. Their giggles died down at geto’s misfortune after awhile. “So..” gojo started, “Yer’ gunna let me see the pics right?” he asked, “Already hurt you didn’t tell me about this,” he pouted,

“In your fucking dreams satoru,” geto snorted. He already saw the way gojo looked at you when he was over, always making passes at you and touching you any chance he got.

He would be damned if his bestfriend got his hands on you before he did. “WHAT???” gojo yelled a little too loud for the tiny space they were in, resulting in him getting shushed by geto, “pleaseeeee, I know how good you are at taking pictures I bet they’re soooo gooood.” gojo wined, crossing his arms on the table and laying his head against them.

“Keep dreaming satoru.” he laughed. The whine haired man kept his pouting up for awhile, calling Geto selfish and unfair, his sorrow immediately being forgot about when the massive tray of his deserts finally came out.

——

When you heard the front door to your shared apartment finally crack open open a couple hours later, you were in your bedroom.

His laptop had been tucked away in your bedside table in confiscation, while you awaited with a racing heart, for him to knock on your bedroom door.

You heard him place his keys on the table through the thin walls, then you hear his heavy footsteps as he starts to make his way to your room.

The air was still when the footsteps came to a stop in front of your door. You were feeling a lot less confident than you were before he got here, now the thought of confronting him made your mouth feel dry; heart beating out of your chest.

Finally, the knocks were being rapped on your door, you swear you died for a second when you heard his familiar voice call your name, followed by him asking politely if he could come in.

"Its open," you yelled back. When the wooden door creaked open and his frame came into view, you had to fight off all the neurons in your brain telling you to look away from his hooded eyes.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, the tension in the room was so thick it could be cut through with a knife. You had no idea why, but the current situation was admittedly arousing.

You stayed silent for a while, just staring at each other, neither one of you daring to break eye contact first, "So? What do you have to say for yourself?" you asked, voice coming out a lot less confident than you wanted.

"Im sorry." he replied, swallowing thickly, quickly sucking his lip into his mouth to wet it.

"You're sorry for what?" you asked clarifying, This wasn't going how you expected.

"I'm sorry for being a pervert and taking panty pics of my roommate." He said, taking a couple steps towards where you were sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Are you really sorry?" You asked, voice full of need, as you did your best to supress it, trying to ignore the growing heat in your stomach.

"So sorry" he answered, having made his way inches away from you, eye contact still not being broken. You both noticed how heavily you were breathing, his eyes flitting down to your lips for a second before he sucked his lip into his mouth again, and letting it slide out, dark eyes meeting yours again.

The only thing you heard was your heart beat loudly in your ears as you spoke your next words, "Show me how sorry you are."

----

"Mm so fucking sorry," geto's voice vibrated against your clit.

"F-fuck ohmygod," You moaned at the feeling of him wrapping his lips around the bud, tongue peeking through to flick at it.

"A-again-" you whined,

"'M sorry," he groaned, staring up at you with a smirk as he released your clit, flattening his tongue over the sensitive bud.

You were laid back, ass placed at the end of the bed, Geto was sitting back on his heels as he perched himself on the floor between your thighs, hand rapidly stoking over his throbbing cock.

"W-wipe that sm-ile off your face" you wined, trying to keep the little hold you had over geto.

He didnt stop smiling, but you could'nt tell when he burried his tongue inside your pussy, pressing his face hard into your wetness and shaking his head. His pointed nose rubbed your clit in the most delicious way when he did that.

"S-so fucking dirty" you chastised at how sloppily he was eating your cunt. He was trying to fuck his apology into your pussy with his tongue, really trying to prove how sorry he was.

Loud slurping noises bouncing off the walls and going straight to your head; and to his cock; making you both dizzy at the situation.

"Sorry I'm so nasty," he groaned, muffled by your folds as he tongue fucked you like his life depended on it.

Quickening the pace of his hand against his cock, he was squeezing it the same way your walls squeezed his tongue, trying to mimic the feeling. Pre was dripping steadily from his cock and onto the floor, leaving a little puddle there.

Geto was getting off on this so hard.

Every time you squeezed your thighs around his head and degraded him, his abs clenched, balls tightening with the need to blow his load.

"O-only thing youre good for is eating my pussy, f-fuck" you said meanly with a whimper, eyes dropping down to his handsome face and seeing how fucked out he looked from your words, as he nodded his head and moaned into you, agreeing with you.

He needed to you keep talking to him like that, to keep humping his face, suffocating him, treating him like a bitch, he needed it.

"Use me-" he cut himself off as he moved his mouth back up to your clit, making out with the little bud messily, "wanna show you how sorry I am." he drunkenly smiled at you.

You gripped his hair in a makeshift bun, rolling your hips against his face as he stuck his tongue out for you to get yoruself off on.

Groans of "mhm mhmm" could be heard from Geto between your legs, pumping his cock impossibly faster feeling your wetness gush out of you from his minstrations.

"Ohmygod feels so good- shit-" You wined, tipping your head back, feeling your orgasm build quicky as you rubbed against his tongue just right.

His chin was absolutely covered in your slick, pretty eyes rolling back in his head as he felt himself get pushed towards the edge as well, abandoning his hand keeping your thigh spread to join his other between his legs. He massaged his balls between his fingers, increasing the pleasure he felt while you worked towards your end together.

"Fuck t-tell me your sorry again," you whimpered out, teetering on the edge of your orgasm, "Sorry" his deep voice immediately groaned out, cock throbbing when you yanked on his hair.

"Ag-ain" your moans broke up your speech,

"Sorry, m' sorry, sorry-" He kept babbling against your pussy, sending delicious vibrations through you.

You were feeling hotter at the strange power dynamic going on, using that to your advantage as he kept mumbling the word into you, sending you straight into the most mindblowing orgasm of your life.

"Coming f-uck fuck f-" your voice getting cut off as your stomach started contracting and jerking, you rode your high out on his tongue while he groaned a lengthy moan into you.

Behind where your vision was blocked by the bed, Geto was cumming all over his hand and the bottom of your comforter.

Geto's eyes repeatedly rolled back in his head, hand massaging his cum out of his balls as he stroked himself roughly through his orgasm.

Finally being able to breathe when you loosened your legs from their hold on his neck, dropping your hands from his hair as you laid back on the sheets. Geto's hands wet with his seed came up to massage your thighs, his head rasing from between them.

You both took a second to breathe heavily into the open air, your cunt as his cock alike twitching in the aftershocks of your orgasms.

You felt his hold on you cease for a moment, a couple seconds later something was bouncing heavily next to your head. When you turned your head you were faced with a brand new, rose gold laptop, still in its packaging.

You looked back up at geto, who was now standing, running one of his damp hands through his hair, "If me eating your pussy didnt prove how sorry I am, I hope this will." He smirked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Fuck, Geto are you serious?" you beamed, picking your limp body up from the sheets and holding the package in your hands, he smiled at you fondly, watching you tear it open like a kid on Christmas.

Peeling the plastic from the cardboard you spoke, "Still making you delete all those photos by the way," resulting in him tipping his head back in a loud groan of defeat.

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