#this motorcycle connection vexes me

[enthusispastic]

What exactly is the nature of the relationship between Jenny Fromthebes and William Staniforth Donahue, Mr. Darnielle? I am incredibly normal about this btw.

#the mountain goats #john darnielle #jenny from thebes #William Staniforth Donahue #this motorcycle connection vexes me #i am entering my charlie day pepe silvia corkboard and pinned yarn era over this amazing fucking album

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Project Savior Date (Ch 3)

✧ Chapter 1 l Chapter 2

As expected, a number of couples and tourists have already taken up the best viewing spots by the time Gavin and I arrive at the famous small hill.

MC: Sure enough, there are tons of people here... But the view is truly beautiful. Even though it isn’t time for the sunset yet, it already looks like an oil painting... The view will definitely be amazing afterwards.

Gavin parks Sparky. When he looks up to see that many spots have been taken, he seems a little vexed.

MC: Come to think of it, I haven’t found a filming location for an upcoming show. This place is really suitable!

Before I can finish speaking, Gavin removes his helmet and hands it to me. Then, he gives me a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Gavin: I’ll head over there first to see if there are better spots. Why don’t you walk around first?

MC: Sure! I could take photos of the nearby scenery as samples for the company.

Gavin: Okay. Once I find a good spot, I’ll send the location to you.

Right after he finishes speaking, he walks away quickly.

MC: ...actually, as long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter even if we get a poor viewing spot.

Despite what I’m mumbling, watching him run off still makes the corners of my lips curl upwards.

After removing my helmet, I open the back compartment of the motorcycle to put both of our helmets in. However, I see a familiar little fellow lying inside. There’s also an old newspaper.

MC: Isn’t this the little wolf that I gave to him? It has always been in the back compartment of Sparky all this time...

I retrieve the soft little wolf puppet, looking at its black eyes, while poking his fierce little wolf teeth.

MC: But why does it seem a little different...

Does the little wolf puppet contain information that has a connection to the contents in the newspaper?

[ Mystery Box Gameplay Starts ]

The wolf puppet has a label inside with various symbols:

The newspaper has an article on a sandbox competition

By following the sequence of the symbols which appear on the label while navigating the maze, the password is revealed - “所有一切都不抵你可爱“ (Nothing is cuter than you)

[ Mystery Box Gameplay Ends ]

The little wolf in my hand looks at me somewhat stubbornly.

But when I slide my hand into it, it feels soft and warm.

I stare at the riddle for a very long time, not wanting to look away. Simply staring at the words is sufficient for me to imagine him saying these words to me personally.

Thinking about this compels me to rush back to his side even though we’ve only been apart for a while.

As if our hearts are connected, my phone suddenly vibrates in my pocket, and it seems that I have received a notification.

Sure enough, I unlock my phone to see Gavin’s location.

I quickly place the helmets into the back compartment. Then, I stuff the little wolf into my bag. Following the location that he sent, I brisk walk towards the hill.

After taking a few steps, I find myself unable to suppress the feeling of wanting to return to Gavin’s side soon, and begin jogging in his direction.

The early autumn sunset brings a cooling sensation to the little hill.

Gavin and I are sitting together, our bodies pressed against each other tightly with his jacket draped over both of our shoulders.

MC: Everyone came prepared. Look over there! Someone brought a picnic basket! Next time, I’ll prepare and bring some delicious food...

Gavin: This is good enough.

Gavin pulls the jacket over me a little more, and the arm encircling me tightens slightly.

A comfortable temperature drifts through the fabric, and a clean scent circles in the damp coolness...

It feels as though I’m safely enveloped in his world.

The faraway horizon blurs like a drop of ink in water, and the orange setting sun brings with it a fuzzy outline as it dips into fantasy-like ripples.

I sneak a glance at the side of his face which has been dyed orange. Then, I reach for the little wolf puppet in my bag quietly.

MC: Cough cough. Little Kid Gavin!

Gavin is taken aback by my sudden outburst. He turns his head, only to see the little wolf puppet that I’m holding in front of him.

While making the little wolf wave his arms adorably, I deepen my voice to pretend that the little wolf is speaking.

MC: Cough cough. Little Kid Gavin, why did you leave me in the back compartment of Sparky? It’s really dark in there!

Gavin is stunned for a moment. Then, his gaze softens. He lowers his head and takes the puppet from me, putting it over his hand like I did.

The little wolf covers his face, swaying shyly in front of me.

Gavin: The most important person gave it to me, so I always keep it with me.

I look up, staring at my reflection in his amber eyes as well as the brilliant sunset in the sky.

I chuckle, turning my body and snuggling into his arms.

It turns out that the safest and most comfortable place is each other’s embrace. It’s a destination where we can land safely.

The reason for our happiness is because we met.

✧ Gavin’s handwritten letter: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc gavin

[onceandfutureoshainspector]

- welcome to the COMMONWEALTH OF LOGRES! i am (sometimes) CATHERINE PENDRAGON, the ONCE AND FUTURE O.S.H.A. INSPECTOR, and here is the sparknotes version of the road so far:

- CAT is my character, created at the start of the game with a focus on PERCEPTION, AGILITY, INTELLIGENCE, and LUCK as my highest ability scores, as i am Not Very Good At Video Games and needed stealth/ranged mechanics under my belt. since then i have levelled my CHARISMA from 1 to 11 (mostly for the purposes of lying to the BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL), but continue to have STRENGTH and ENDURANCE scores of BAD, which semi-frequently vexes me in various ways.

- HOWARD-TODD (not to be confused with my nemesis, the vile villain TODD HOWARD) is my beloved late husband, whom i-the-player named as a joke in the absence of any canon name i could find. i later discovered that the game refers to him as NATE, so i’ve decided that that’s his middle name. i miss his gaunt, kinda sickly-looking face so much.

- my LAWYERLY QUEST, upon which i stumbled in the RADIOACTIVE WASTE-FILLED CAVES under the RED ROCKET TRUCK STOP (sometimes referred to as the PIZZA PLANET TRUCK STOP), is to return a GUIDING HAND of WORKPLACE HEALTH AND SAFETY to the WASTELAND, and usher in a NEW ERA of RESPONSIBLE HAZARD MANAGEMENT to lift us from the ashes of our destruction.

    - this originated as a joke based on the female player character having the pre-war occupation of “lawyer”, which seems like maybe the least useful skillset to bring into a LAWLESS WASTELAND, especially in contrast to HOWARD-TODD’s military career. as far as i can tell there’s not even any elaboration on what kind of lawyer i was, let alone tie-ins to the story. i am now fully committed to the bit though, lawyers for the win BETHESDA can go fuck themselves.

- the ARTHURIAN LEGEND bit also originated as a dumb throwaway joke (there’s a pattern here), wherein i jokingly referred to myself as the ONCE AND FUTURE O.S.H.A. INSPECTOR and then got carried away with connecting dots - the situation with lying dormant for centuries in a VAULT to return when the wasteland needs me the most, SANCTUARY being on an island at the far western end of the map, the fact that i’d named my first gun the CALEDFWLCH 10 CALIBRE as a HIGH NOON OVER CAMELOT reference, and so on. really i know that FALLOUT 4 wasn’t exactly intended to map directly to any particular version of ARTHURIAN LEGEND, but i’m enjoying trying to make it fit anyway.

- other recurring bits include:

    - the game seeming to continually be leading me to the CORVEGA ASSEMBLY PLANT for unknowable reasons - nothing so far has indicated to me that it’s the most important location in the game, yet all roads seem to lead there, so i don’t know what to think.

    - any time i find a JANGLES THE MOON MONKEY toy, it always seems to be in a location where something especially terrible either has happened or is about to happen. this plus his incredibly disturbing visage has led me to dub him the HARBINGER OF CALAMITY, and i take his presence as a generalised warning to be on my guard.

    - sometimes characters will gift me with a heavy item as a reward for some quest or other, immediately maxing out my carry weight due to my weak noodle arms. i guess they think it’s funny to watch my knees buckle or something.

    - discovery of several GIDDYUP BUTTERCUP parts early in the game led me to get my hopes up about the completed item potentially being some kind of NOBLE STEED. although it seems that i can’t in fact ride a ROCKET-POWERED ROCKING HORSE around the wasteland, this plus the existence of MOTORCYCLES as apparently unrepairable junk items continually vexes me.

    - i have an infrequent yet annoying problem with the variable solidity of exposed rebar, which sometimes can be walked upon perfectly safely and others causes me to fall to my death. this is because TODD HOWARD is victimising me personally and not at all because i need to look where i’m going.

     - everyone in the COMMONWEALTH and beyond seems to know and revere TAKAHASHI’s noodles, so i’ve decided that he is the wasteland’s PATRON DEITY OF COMMUNITY. not sure if i’m really one of his flock yet, but i fully support him and his endeavours.

- to start from the beginning (if i’ve finally gotten the link to work), click here. hope you enjoy as much as i am!

#FALLOUT 4: THE RESURRECTION OF OSHA #fallout 4

[kryptkept]

(   ellie thatcher ,   female ,   she/her  )   apparently   that's   𝐋𝐘𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍   lurking   around   town   for   a year .   the   local   psychic   claims   they're   a   𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄   (   record store clerk   )   who's   𝟐𝟑   /   𝟒𝟓  years    old    but   she's   always   been   a   bit   unhinged .   whispers   around   town   say   they're   intrepid ,   artful   but   mordant .   honestly ,   they   remind   me   of   using pages of the bible as tinder for a fire , getting a stick & poke in your best friend’s basement , & the liberation of forsaking your savior   which   explains   why   i've   seen   them   with   an   aged rosary . 

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄.   lydia emerson  ;  born as  lydia anne morgan  . 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒.   lydia myers  ,  sawyer augustine  ,  valerie tatum smith  ,  various others  . 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒.   lyd  ,  lydz  ,  deetz  . 𝐀𝐆𝐄.   physically 23  ;  truly 45  . 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑.   female  ;  she/her  . 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.   bisexual  . 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒.   vampire  . 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.   clerk  @  quiet riot records shop  . 𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

(   tws for  :  abuse  ,  loss of a child  ,  alcoholism  ,  attempted murder  ,  period typical misogyny  ,  if i’ve forgotten to tag anything or you need something tagged please let me know  !   ) lydia was born in 1960 to a moderately unhappy pair looking to save both face  &  their miserable marriage  .  while they had initially been informed that they were expecting twins  ,  lydia’s sibling died in utero  &  thereafter was absorbed by lydia herself in a case of twin resorption  .  while there was little explanation for this phenomenon at the time  ,  lydia’s mother  ,  theresa  ,  was distraught  ,  under the assumption that lydia must have killed her sibling in the womb if only she had survived  ,  and began to view the child growing inside of her as something akin to the devil  .  this belief was only exacerbated by the difficult pregnancy she endured with lydia  ,  anf further stoked by her strict catholic beliefs  . after her birth  ,  theresa’s feelings remained unchanged  ;  she was a withdrawn  ,  angry mother  ,  forced to keep up the act of a perfectly quaint little family in front of friends  &  family  .  unfortunately  ,  theresa fell victim to severe postpartum depression which would devolve into full blown psychosis  .  given the time period  ,  this went largely unnoticed for the most part  ,  written off as the stress a new mother must endure for the sake of her child  .  meanwhile  ,  lydia’s father  ,  richard  ,  was of little help  .  he was similarly withdrawn but as opposed to theresa  ,  this was less rooted in hatred and more in the general apathy he faced most things with  .  coming from a broken home himself  ,  directionless in life  &  uninspired  ,  he’d long since turned to the drink as a way of coping  &  the arrival of his daughter had done little to change that  . in a hazy memory that haunts lydia to this day  ,  she can recall the day her mother wrapped both hands around her throat a the tender age of three  ,  and attempted to squeeze every last bit of life from her  .  all the while  ,  she was shrieking like a banshee about how lydia was a demon  ,  the antichrist  ,  nothing but a  plague  .  her father found them moments before lydia slipped into unconsciousness  ,  and she has little recollection of what happened between them after that  . the situation itself resulted in theresa’s departure  .  this would eventually lead to lydia being left in the care of her maternal grandparents after three more years spent with her father  ,  who spent more time under the influence than he did sober  .  her grandmother  &  grandfather were strict and very much orthodox  ,  though they  did  love her  ,  but their expectations of her were far too lofty  .  they weren’t the affectionate type  ,  but were more prone to physical rewards than words of praise or hugs  .  her childhood  &  adolescence were pockmarked with various attempts at rebellion  ;  talking back  ,  sneaking out of sunday school  ,  sneaking out at home  ,  meeting up with the outcasts in town despite often being warned to steer clear of them  ,  stealing  ,  etcetera  .  lydia was desperate to feel something and in pursuit of pleasure  ,  she continued to act out and do as she pleased  .  she began to dabble in darker things  :  the supernatural  &  the occult  ,  namely  .  she was kicked out of her home at 18 and spent her time couch surfing  . as the 80′s rolled around  ,  she delved into the world of satanism  , urged on by the need to separate herself from her heavily religious upbringing  &  the ways in which her experiences during childhood had effected her  ;  essentially  ,  a big  fuck you  to the majority of her family  ,  and to god himself  .  at this point she was on the other side of the satanic panic  ,  laughing at those that protested and screeched about unholy corruption in things like music  &  literature  . lydia was well known on the scene .  with her sharp humor and devil may care attitude  ,  she was the life of the parties she frequently attended  .  and it was during the aftermath of one such event that she would come to lose her life  :  taken with a perfect stranger  ,  she’d followed him into the darkened alleyways as the party came to a close  ,  unaware of his intentions to quite literally bleed her dry  . when she woke the following night  ,  she was in a haze  ,  wobbling like a baby deer and overcome with a hunger so intense it almost sent her toppling to the ground  .

𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍.

as opposed to some  ,  lydia accepted her fate with little complaints  .  in fact  ,  you might say she was a little  too  enthusiastic  ...  driven by thirst  ,  she slaughtered a group of college students and left them out in the open air of the park they’d been having a nighttime hangout at  .  she fled town soon after  ,  leaving behind the sunny shores of california for the emptiness of indiana  .  she began going by the name lydia myers meanwhile  . after that  ,  she never really stayed in one place for too long  .  she loved to travel  ,  enjoying her freedom immensely  ,  and found kin with the people she met along the way  .  most of these relationships were fairly fickle  ,  in the grand scheme of things  ;  most people she charmed out of necessity  .  it was nice to have a friend to call on when you needed a place to stay  ,  or a few bucks for bus fare  .  it was a genuine rarity for her to find herself truly attached to another  ,  because she feared commitment more than anything  ;  she still does  ,  in fact  .  letting someone grow close means giving them the chance to hurt you  ,  to leave you  ,  and lydia is  ...  not about that  .

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘.

though she’d initially vowed upon her departure that she’d never return to cali  ,  lydia has come slinking back  .  if you ask her why  ,  she’ll tell you it’s boredom  ,  and that much is true  —  but a pressing matter remains  :  that of her sire  .  she’s been running from him for 22 years since her turning  ,  but recently  ,  she’s felt a sharp tug on the thread that keeps them connected  .  both curious and vexed  ,  and maybe searching for an answer to a question she’s tried not to ask  ,  she’s tracked him back to ambrose  .  to support herself  ,  she’s taken up a job at the record store   (   one of the things she’s always enjoyed has been music  !   )

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.

hello words are failing me so take some bullet point traits  .  :,) +   creative  ,  adventurous  ,  brave  ,  resourceful  ,  charismatic   (   when necessary   )  . -   manipulative  ,  sardonic  ,  evasive  ,  stubborn  ,  dishonest  ,  hotheaded .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

hi please bring me her sire  .  i have  ... honestly too many ideas to list here because i don’t want to risk rambling for like  ,  eight paragraphs about everything lmao  .

i think it would be interesting if she ran into someone she hasn’t seen for years  .  maybe they were one of the people she used  ,  and they’re super pissed at her for how she just ghosted  .  or maybe they look back on her fondly  .

she antagonizes people for fun  .  please hate her

she’s also definitely the type to flat out tell people she’s a vampire  .  and like  ,  given her usual sarcastic  ,  jokey nature  ... people probably just take it as her messing around  .  which is even more hilarious to her  .  this could result in  :  1.  someone who constantly goes along with the ‘joke’  ,  who maybe later on finds out and either also thinks it’s funny  ,  is horrified  ,  or feels betrayed   (   to which lydz would respond with  but i told you  ?   )   2.  someone who is very suspicious of her and Does Not think it’s just a funny joke at all

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑.

she loves going to the beach late at night  .  like  ,  the sand getting everywhere sucks  ,  but she’ll deal with it  .

she can be surprisingly generous when in a good mood  .  when she says don’t mention it  ,  she fuckin means it

loves motorcycles  ,  wants one someday

has an old polaroid camera from the 80′s that she still uses pretty frequently  .  she enjoys photography  !

i need you all to know i literally came up with her because i listened to kiss the go goat by ghost for hours on end over the span of a few days please help i can’t stop

#hi idk what this is #goryintro #i am not proofreading this i am sorry IM SO TIRED I AM ABOUT TO GO COLLAPSE AND LURK ON DISCO

[percywinchester27]

About a boy (Part-11)

Word count: 2.8K

Warning: Suspense, feels, physical abuse, child-trafficking, kidnapping, child-violence, bullying.

Characters: Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Benny, Michael, OCs and… Sam?

Summary: Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he has put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?

A/N: Okay, I really hope you all like this chapter! <3

Thanks to my lovelies @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​​​​​​​ and @deanssweetheart23​​​​​​​ for beta reading this story <3

About a boy masterlist

“You know what would help? Lightsabers!” Will proclaimed.

Dean laughed and Cas gave Will an amused look.

“You guys think it’s funny, but we sneaked a Star Wars tape last year- you remember that, don’t you, Cas?- and those sabers could light up the whole place,” he reasoned.

“You know Lightsabers aren’t real,” Cas said patiently.

Will rolled his eyes at that. “Of course they aren’t real. I know that! But they must be using something similar during the filming. That’s what we need. We could light this whole place up. No need for dumb flashlights that give out in the middle of creepy staircases.”

Dean smiled indulgently. “That was one time.”

“And one time was enough,” Will said decidedly, his tone effectively dismissing the matter.

It sure had been a struggle, sneaking each night into the record room without letting anyone know. Even more, it was a task to smuggle and return Will from and back to the 4th floor. But if Dean was honest, Will kept them going. He had the sort of brightness and enthusiasm that never gave out… even on the dullest of nights.

It had taken Will a few days to come back to himself, but after that, Will was the driving force behind the ‘Sam search mission.’ In fact, he seemed too bright sometimes. Dean worried if somehow Will was overcompensating, thinking that it was his job to find Sam before he left with his adoptive parents at the end of the month. That was another thing- No one was to bring the adoption up. Dean wasn’t sure it was denial. It appeared more like Will was pushing it deep, deep down. His anxieties only surfaced sometimes in the dark when it was just him and Dean, with their backs to the grill. He would suddenly go quiet and Dean would just know.

“Found another!” Cas announced. “Matt Wilcox. It says he was transferred to Missouri, but no paperwork to prove it.”

“We have twenty-three now,” Dean said, grimly.

They hadn’t found many leads on Sam. Will had suggested that they go by the law of omissions. Eliminate those files that had no chance of being Sam’s. Like all kids who hadn’t been admitted around the age of 6 months, or whose physical descriptions were way off. It was time consuming, but it was still something. Meanwhile, Dean used the same idea to look into Stynes. In the past three weeks since Dean had actually started investigating the matter seriously, they had come across multiple instances of paperwork that wasn’t just shoddy but didn’t make any sense. Most of these were kids who had been abruptly displaced. Dean didn’t know if bad paperwork or a complete lack of follow-up would be good enough for Jody to make a case out of it, but if they found enough files, maybe some other link could be found.

It was serious work, and Will’s periodic complaints about the lack of good flashlights- which had become an essential commodity at this point- was the only entertainment.

Dean stashed his files away and checked his watch. It was just past 4 am.

“We should get back,” he suggested. “You don’t want to fall asleep in the class again, Cas.”

“It’s what the English Lit class is meant for,” said Cas, getting up anyway and stretching his arms. Beside him, Will nodded in agreement.

Dean smiled fondly at him. 

Quietly, they made their way back to the left wing under the light of a single flashlight. It was little help, but too much light could attract attention. It was vexing to crossover from the barren left wing each night, but it was much better than risking being sighted.

Just as they landed on the fourth floor, a weird creaking noise came from the further left part.

“What the hell?” Dean scowled, pointing the flashlight. There was nothing there. Acting on an instinct, he shut the light off completely, gesturing with his hands for his other companions to stay put. 

As if on point, a dark figure emerged at the very end of the corridor. Dean’s breath hitched; behind him, there were similar gasps of shock. 

“Shhh…” he said, pushing them back into a deeper corner. The figure at the end was well-built and tall, and was looking straight at them in the darkness, as if suspecting their presence. After a few moments that stretched too long, the figure disappeared into the hallway ahead. 

They stayed put like that afterwards for what seemed like ages just to make sure that they weren’t caught; then at Dean’s signal, took another flight of stairs and reached the 5th floor, opening the door and crossing over to the dorm side of the building.

Cas sagged against the rusted iron door, with his hand over his chest. “What. The. Hell was that?” he gasped, breathing heavily. Will was looking wide eyed, completely silently now, waiting for Dean to answer the question.

“I don’t know,” Dean finally said. “Whoever it was, wasn’t scared of being found, that’s for sure.”

“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?” Cas asked, brow sweaty and furrowed. Both Dean and Will nodded.

Neither of them said it out loud, but if whoever it was didn’t care about being spotted, it was because they thought they had the upper hand. Almost like… they owned the place. 

The Stynes.

“Tomorrow,” Dean said. “We find out what the hell is happening there tomorrow.”

*****************************************

All through the day Dean couldn’t concentrate. It didn’t help that Cas kept falling asleep in every class. Maybe it was the complacency from staying in a place as dangerous as the bellstone orphanage for so long, but Cas was taking their impending adventure in stride. He was behaving ordinarily. In fact , he had even prayed like he usually did in the morning. 

Cas’s calm energy gradually caught up with Dean and by the time they got back from school, his nervousness was almost ebbed. It was ticking in the back of his mind that Will and Barry hadn’t joined up with them after school as they usually did, but he didn’t pay much heed to it. Lately, the school was conducting weird psych analysis on Will to determine if he was all set for the adoption and subsequently the move to New York. 

Dean couldn’t think about it without feeling a punch to his gut, so he pushed the thought out of his head.

“Hey,” Cas whispered as they reached the entrance of the boys home. “I’m going to go see if I can pick some more flashlights out of Garth’s supply closet. Meet you in the dorm room later?”

“Alright.”

They had put their heads together and deduced that there was no way Garth was involved in any of the stuff going around here. As Dean made his way to the shower room, he thought to himself that it may very well be possible that Garth was completely unaware. He lived down in the town, a good five miles away from the orphanage, and rode on his decrepit motorcycle every alternate day to do the essential maintenance or janitorial stuff that boys in the home couldn’t take care of. On occasions, he had stayed over late, but it was plausible that he didn’t know that there was something sinister going on here. Besides, anyone who had met Garth knew him to be absentminded. Good, but lost in his own tune.

Somehow the thought was uplifting for Dean. Not everyone in the staff was horrible. He hadn’t given the cook and the two henchmen like dudes that seemed to hang around with Andy the benefit of the doubt yet.

The shower did its work and Dean felt alert as he made his way back to the dorm room. As he reached the 5th floor main corridor, he saw Will.

Will was white. His forehead was clammy with sweat and his eyes were wide in horror.

Every thought abandoned Dean except for a nameless alarm over Will’s horror. Was he hurt? 

Before Dean could utter another word, Will came barreling forward, almost tripping over his own shoes.

“Dean!” Will said, the name falling out of his lips like both a call for help and a prayer of relief.

“What happened?” Dean asked dreading the reply

Tears Swam in Will’s eyes. Tears of helplessness and fear. “They took him, Dean,” he sobbed. “They took Barry.”

With that, he collapsed on the floor, his knees completely giving out beneath him.

Dean rushed to him, falling on his own knees. “Barry?”

Will’s lips were quivering, but his voice was surprisingly strong. “I saw him at school in the morning, but he said he was feeling sick, so they let him go early. I-I just had a bad feeling about this so I skipped the class and came back here, but Barry was just gone.”

“Hey, maybe he’s just hanging around somewhere,” Dean tried to rationalise. “Maybe he went into town instead. It’s just 6 in the evening. You don’t know that he’s decided to play hooky and be somewhere else.”

“No-no,” Will shook his head. “Barry isn’t like that. You know him! I’m his only friend and he always sticks by me. Besides, I asked this other kid who had stayed back from school today, and he said Barry had definitely come back.”

“We need to ask Andy,” Dean said. “He’ll-...”

“I asked already!” Will cried. “He said Barry was transferred.”

Shit!

“I- I,” Will said, looking around wildly. “We need to go to the left wing. I know that’s where they are keeping him. They have to be!”

Dean didn’t think it was possible to be more horrified… but somehow he did.

“Will!” Dean shook his friend by the shoulders to get him to snap out of it. “Listen to me! We will find Barry. We will go there tonight and bring him back, okay?”

Will’s eyes stilled, the black pupils were so dark they overpowered the hazel around it.

“You promise?” 

Dean cursed internally, but outside, he said, “I promise.”

So fast that Dean didn’t have time to react, Will flung his arms around Dean’s middle and hugged him hard. Dean’s own hand instinctively came to rest over Will’s head, his fingers weaving into the soft brown. He could feel Will’s sobs wracking his own body, the tears staining his shirt, but Dean held on, tightening his grip on the boy, as if by sheer willpower he could fix everything that was wrong.

A part of him did not want to let go. Something deep inside was just screaming at Dean to hold on to Will and make a run for it. Leave everything behind to just protect this kid. But there were lives at stake here. He could picture Barry’s crying face when that bully at school had raised his arm at him, then the absolute faithfulness with which he looked at Will. 

Dean ran his hand over Will’s shoulders, over and over till his heaves subsided.

He moved back ever so lightly to look Will in his tear stained, anguished eyes. “You listen to me now, Will. Go back to your room and wait for us to signal you at night, okay?”

Will nodded,with implicit trust in his eyes and Dean wanted to kick himself for lying.

**********************************************

Dean sprinted all the way back from Will’s room, after having walked him down there, and skidded to a halt in his dorm room, almost banging into Benny. He let out a yelp of surprise at the intrusion but then gave Dean a brief, hesitant smile. Benny had been trying to be nice after his blow out almost a month ago. Sometimes Dean could see he was struggling to say the words, to make it okay, but hadn’t been able to.

Today, he actually tried. “Hey, Dean-,” he started to say but Dean cut it off quickly.

“Where’s Cas?”

“He’s not back yet.”

Dean turned around and kicked the foot of his bed. “Damn it!” he yelled.

“Dean!”

Behind him, Cas had just entered the room, slightly sweaty and breathless, two flashlights clutched to his chest. 

“Barry-” 

“I know!” Cas said, forehead crumpling. “A couple of kids were talking about it.”

Dean gave another frustrated yell.

“What? What happened?” Benny asked, vigilant now, all awkwardness gone.

Hurriedly, in a low voice, Dean repeated everything that had happened with Will. When he was done, both Cas’s and Benny’s faces were identical masks of horror.

“We have to go to the west wing, Dean!” Cas said decidedly, his voice grim.

“Yes,” Benny agreed. 

Dean sank down on his bed with a thud. “You can’t come with us, Benny.”

“What? Why-” Benny started to protest but Dean cut him off. Again.

“You can’t come with us, because I want you here, standing by the door, making sure no one knows or follows us.”

“I don’t see the need,” Benny reasoned. “No one will be up at night.”

Dean exhaled, slowly. “We are not going to wait for nightfall. We’re doing it now, in an hour.”

“But Will? You just said that you promised him we’ll go after the lights go out...” Cas trailed off.

“This is because of Will,” Dean said through his teeth. “I lied to him. He’s just a kid. Sneaking into the record room at night is one thing, but dragging him into this? When even I don’t know what’s waiting there? I can’t do it. Better for him to be angry with me tomorrow than risk his life. Besides, he is in no shape to go anywhere. He’s scared out of his mind for Barry.”

Dean knew everything he was saying made sense, but the real reason behind lying to Will was that Dean knew he'd be himself paralysed with fear for Will, if he was to go anywhere near whatever crap was happening in the west wing. The mere thought of Will being in danger made Dean’s knees give out.

“In fact, Cas,” Dean said slowly, “I can’t ask you to risk your life for this either.”

“Oh, shut up, Dean!” Cas sais, exasperated. “How old do you think I am? 12? I can make my own decisions and I’m coming with you.”

Dean felt his body loosen slightly with relief. While thinking of Will in a dangerous situation filled him with dread, knowing that Cas was going to be with him, made him feel relieved. Friendship was unpredictable like that… you couldn’t guess how it would make you feel.

“Alright, then,” Dean said, “This is how we do it.”

**********************************************

It was as dark as it always was in the west wing, despite it being just over 7 o clock, and the lights in the compound still on. Both Dean and Cas had their flashlights throwing lights into the far end of the corridor as they made their way through the stinking, grimy passageway. Benny had deftly taken his place next to the door, without any hesitation. Dean had handed him the set of keys and decided on a certain knocking rhythm so he would know it was them when they returned and opened the door for them. The door opened easily from the outside, and unlike the long nights, today Dean didn’t have the luxury of trying all the keys in the dark till the right one fit.

With precise coordination that only came after weeks and weeks of sneaking around in dark decrepit places, Dean and Cas moved along the decaying wall towards the end of the corridor. From what Dean knew of the building footprint, having extensively inspected the form from the outside, the corridor should lead into something of a hallway. Even as they rounded the corner, a sense of foreboding gripped Dean. In all of their nightly excursions, they had never ventured this far into the west wing. The hallway opened up into another short corridor that swiftly made a left turn, blocking all view.

Dean quickly exchanged a look with Cas, confirming that they both agreed upon continuing further ahead. The swift left turn wasn’t in fact a turn, but a narrow, crooked staircase. What was more? There was light emanating from the bottom of the stairwell. It was dim and threatening, but there was definitely something going on there. With another cautious look, Dean started descending the staircase, now switching off the flashlight. Behind him, Cas did the same. Together they climbed down, clutching the wall for support.

The staircase led all the way down till what would be the first floor. The passageway ahead was lit with less wattage bulbs emitting a dull reddish light. It was menacing. The floor itself was like the dormitory wing he slept in. Rooms on one side, next to each other, all connected by a single, small passage. But unlike the dorm, the wall opposite the rooms didn’t have a line of windows; it was blank and solid. 

Suddenly there was a banging noise. Without thinking, Dean dashed ahead, passing small rooms with grilled iron doors. His peripheral vision caught something and he came to a skittering halt.

One of the rooms was unlocked and the rusted, the metal door swaying off his hinges. Inside, hanging from the ceiling were long chains that ended in shackles. What was worse? There were dark splashes on the wall- dark brown in colour- of what suspiciously looked like blood.

Dean’s stomach turned and he looked away. If there had been anything in his stomach, it would have come out now.

“Is that… is that…” Cas was too disgusted to even complete the sentence.

The banging echoed again and Dean rushed towards the door it was coming from. That particular room was in darkness as the light within had been turned off. However, there was movement in the shadowed corner.

“Dean?”

The voice was muted and hopeless… but it was definitely Barry’s.

Dean banged against the door. “Barry! Oh thank God you’re okay.”

But he had said it too quickly. For Barry’s small figure dragged its way across the small room towards the door, and in the little light reflecting from the bulbs above, Dean could see the dark wetness of blood against his face. Barry’s spectacles weren’t on him, and his leg was twisted in a way that was anything but natural.

“My God,” Cas whispered, and fell against the grill, trying to shove his hand between the rod to get to him. “Barry!”

Barry broke down completely. His face was bloodied and bruised but the most horrifying thing was the hopelessness in Barry’s eyes. He had given up.

“Barry!” Dean reached out so the tips of his fingers touched Barry’s brown hair. “I’m gonna get you out of here.”

Barry just shook his head. “They’re coming for me, Dean. I heard them, the car is right outside,” he cried, in a dead voice. “You can’t help me.”

“I’m not giving up, Damn it!” Dean said fiercely. “I’m going to get out of here and inform the police. I have a pager stashed under my clothes. They’ll free you.”

They had to free him.

“Cas,” Dean said, “Stay here and raise a riot if you see any movement or hear anything, okay? I’m gonna head up and contact Jody.”

Cas’s chin jerked up in quick acknowledgement and he shuffled closer to the grill.

Dean turned to Barry, his eyes stinging at the corners. “You hold on, Barry. Cas is right here with you. I’ll be back in a moment.” 

At long last, Barry nodded, a small light of hope in his pained eyes. With one last look, Dean bolted back towards the hallway, and up through the staircase. Nothing seemed real to him anymore. He banged three times as they had decided, and within seconds the door opened. Dean stumbled out and onto the floor.

Benny was next to him in a flash. Maybe it was the look on Dean’s face or Cas’s absence, but Benny stiffened. 

“I- I need to get to the pager,” Dean heaved breathlessly.

Benny didn’t ask for an explanation or even what had happened. He moved quickly and helped Dean to his feet which were starting to feel like the bones were beginning to melt. Somehow, Dean managed to stand straight and reach his room. Once there, he hauled his duffel bag from under the bed and yanked the zipper, frantically digging into the base of the bag to find the rolled up wad of socks in which he had hid the pager.

Soon, his hand wrapped around the small plastic object and he pulled it free of the clothes. He hurriedly turned it on. It seemed like an eternity before the pager beeped to life and the small line blinked on. With shaking hands Dean typed-

EMERGENCY. COME NOW.

He hit send and the pager tumbled out of his shivering hands. It would take Jody at least an hour and a half to get here. And Barry had said that the car was already here to take him. Till then Dean had to do all he could stall them. 

“Get a grip!” Benny said, laying a hand on Dean’s shoulder. His voice was gruff, but kind. Dean felt a welling gratefulness towards Benny.

“Benny,” Dean said, getting to his feet. “We have to hurry, but there is one more thing I have to do.”

“What?”

“Hide Will here!”

There was a sick feeling in his stomach that refused to go away, and it only multiplied whenever he thought of Will. “I’m going down to fetch him, and then we’ll lock him in our room. I know it sounds stupid but I just… I…”

“You don’t need to explain, brother,” Benny said. “I understand how you feel. I would have done the same for Jaime. I’ll go find Castiel in the west wing, you find Will.”

Dean quickly explained the location of Cas and Barry, and then Dean was running again. It was dinner time so he rushed to the dinning hall first, but in all the crowd, he couldn’t spot Will’s particular mop of brown hair. With rising alarm he looked in the library, the game room, even the godforsaken record room, but his friend wasn’t to be found anywhere. Finally, almost on the verge of nausea, Dean reached Will’s room. His sandy haired roommate was sitting on the bunk bed, shuffling through laundry clothes.

“Will?” Dean asked, throat parched. “Where’s Will?”

The kid gave Dean an odd look. “He’s not here,” he said. “Left with Andy a while ago.”

The blood in  Dean’s veins seemed to go cold.

“Andy?”

“Yeah,” the kid shrugged. “Andy said his adoptive parents were here for him, for some urgent formality. That their car was waiting outside. Will wanted to say goodbye to you, but Andy said he could say it when he came back.”

The car was waiting outside.

Blood thundered in Dean’s ears, and without his mind directing, his body moved, taking him upstairs in a desperate numbness. 

Outside, his body collided with Cas’s. 

Castiel was crying. There was a thin stream of blood trickling down the side of his face, along his ear and neck.

“Barry is gone,” he said, voice completely hollow. “I was waiting there, but something hit me hard on the head and I clocked out. When I came to, Benny was standing over me and Barry w- was... gone.

From the grounds, there was a sharp sound of an engine revving, and all three of them turned to watch through the north windows as two cars drove away from the fence… their tail lights becoming pinpoints as they disappeared into the night.

*******************************

A/N 2: Man, I am soooo sorry for the cliffy! If it helps, the next chapter is written. I’ll post it within the week! 

Please do tell me what you thought of the chapter? I live for comments!

If you wanna be tagged, please send me an ask

About a Boy taglist:

@sdavid09​​​​​​ @deanssweetheart23​​​​​​ @blacktithe7​​​​​​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​​​​​​ @cosicas-cuquis​​​​​​ @chalicia​​​​​​  @anathewierdo​​​​​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​​​​ @protectteamfreewill​​​​​​ @firefly124-writing​​​​​​ @spnbaby-67​​​​​​ @hoboal87​​​​​​ @rizlow1​​​​​​ @donnaintx​​​​​​ @starmission​​​​​​ @gh0stgurl​​​​​​ @tftumblin​​​​​​ @emily-a-c11​​​​​​ @ericaprice2008​​​​​​ @jotink78​​​​​​ @charliebradbury1104​​​​​​ @ohgodwhybloggg​​​​​​ @i-dont-get-cold​​​​​​  @bobbie3939​​​​​​  @samsexualdeancurious​​​​​​ @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba​​​​​​  @cookiechipdough​​​​​​ @wildfirewinchester​

#dean winchester fanfiction #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn au #weechesters au #aab 11 #anawrites #anawritesspn #Ana writes Dean #Ana writes aab #q

[hellostarlight20]

Vexing

@badwolfgeek said: “Vexing", NinexRose, any rating you fancy ;)

The Doctor ran off to investigate a malfunctioning lorry. Rose is left to explain.

Part 2 of the If Only... series

“I’ll be back, Rose, don’t wander off!”

 “Doctor!” Rose grabbed his jacket and halted his exit. “What are you doing?”

 “Just going to investigate why their lorries keep malfunctioning. Shouldn’t take long?” He grinned, that infectious, wide smile of adventure, blue eyes sparkling. “Probably nothing.”

 With that, he gently removed her fingers from his jacket, winked at her—well that was new—and turned back for the pod holding the other equipment.

 “Your Doctor is a most vexing man.”

Rose opened her mouth to contradict the woman, a settler on some planet she already forgot the name of, then immediately snapped it closed. She didn’t know if she meant to tell her the Doctor wasn’t hers or he wasn’t vexing but had nothing.

 Instead she shrugged and met the woman’s startlingly green eyes.

 “You have to get to know him,” Rose hedged.

 And hoped this once the TARDIS translated her intent as well as her words. Well, maybe not intent-intent. Rose didn’t want Ishinara to go and flirt with her Doctor after all.

 Not that the Doctor knew that.

 Well, probably not.

 Rose swallowed down her jealousy as best she could and looked out onto the half-unpacked modules littering the land. No sign of the Doctor and his maddening cryptic-ness.

 Annoying man.

 There was that rather vexing, if she did say so herself, comment she hadn’t been able to hear when they’d raced away on the motorcycle last week or the week before. Rose had made up so many different comments the Doctor could’ve made, and it did vex her that she hadn’t been able to hear him.

 Still.

 What was Ishinara saying?

 Right.

 “His brain—it races a lot faster than most of ours, always going on.” Rose shrugged and toyed with her earing. When she realized what she was doing, she dropped her hand. “Never really stops, he’s always thinking of something, making connections.”

 Rose would never admit—aloud—that she loved when the Doctor talked out his plan and made connections like that. And she’d certainly never disclose her most secret confession: Doctor Technical Talk was as arousing as any aphrodisiac.

 She cleared her throat. What was she saying? Oh. Right. “You haven’t, by any chance, seen our friend, Jack? He wandered off just after the first construction lorry malfunctioned.”

 Not really a lorry, but again Rose knew the TARDIS translated to what the other person needed to hear. Thank goodness (Time Lords?) for that.

 Ishinara’s face brightened and Rose sincerely hoped that meant interest or knowledge or some other positive emotion and wasn’t her species way of showing anger.

 “Ah, the Handsome Human.” She leaned closer to Rose. “He is not vexing. He is most charming.”

 Rose opened her mouth to contradict her then immediately snapped it closed. Instead she shrugged and met Ishinara’s startlingly green eyes.

 “You have to get to know him,” Rose hedged. “You should find Jack. I need to make sure the Doctor doesn’t—” blow up anything— “need me.”

 Help. Rose meant to say help there. Oops. Whatever. She grinned brightly at Ishinara and turned in the direction the Doctor had raced off to leaving the other woman, and whatever notions she had about Rose and her Doctor—the Doctor. Whatever—behind.

 If only…

#ficandchips #Nine x Rose #prompt #romance #canon #kinda

[strategicadventure]

Episode 81 - What Lies Beneath The Surface

Keyleth guessing her falling in lava was karma for that duergar she killed lol I forgot about that kill

“the oath of annoyance paladin”

so glad that Zahra and Kash are alive!

KERREK!!!

Vax using lay on hands and then Kash lightly kneeing him in the nuts

Sam no! stop with the drugs!

a rune on Gilmore’s forehead?!

J’mon holding Gilmore in his claw while they talk, I’m so interested in Gilmore’s story what are they talking about

Scanlan using the flute for drugs omg Scanlan

OMG SAM

“great time for a personal crisis”

Scanlan wakes up after passing out from drugs “(hitting Percy) are you real?” Percy: “....no” - Percy is such a little shit

Scanlan quickly shifting from attention on him to yelling at Vax about charging in, so worried about Scanlan

Vax just shoving his letter at Scanlan and walking off; not sure if him manhandling Scanlan and Vax’s note is gonna change their dynamic or add onto Scanlan’s troubled state

things Grog is looking for in the cave ”gold, platinum, cheese if they’re lucky”

Matt: [detailed description of dragon’s motions and how small a gnome is in comparison] J’mon “nah, keep it” and walks away - lol Matt

“raise your hand if you have less than 30hp” [four hands go up] Kerreck: “oh I could probably take out the whole group!”

is that?.........is that a deck of many things??? given to GROG? intelligence of 6?! OMFG

everyone’s face when they realize what Grog found

I think I legitimately gasped and said oh no while I started laughing

harp music and Laura Bailey manifests like a devil on Grog’s shoulder, she isn’t even in character “Travis what are you doing!”

Vex’s eyes when Grog says carpet

“is there a name for this, whatever this is? what’s the name” “idiocy”

Matt is flipping so many pages! Travis: “is it really the most powerful thing in the game?......WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME THAT?!”

he got a sword? is it good, is that it? oh man I’m laughing so hard at this

Grog destroying busts cause he doesn’t care and Percy is just dying at the destroyed artifacts

somehow that did not turn out horribly? Travis always seems to roll (and now pick) inexplicably well as Grog for things he shouldn’t necessarily

Vex got a flying carpet! and its bigger than the last one!

Percy and Keyleth are adorable and I love their friendship

Kerr suggesting to give the Clasp the deck is amazing and devious holy shit

Grog and Percy agreeing on pragmatic courses of events is so interesting; they are so different but align quite often on strategic maneuvers

glad that Gilmore is finding some of his own stuff

the scrying on Raishan worked!

can Kerr be here every week? cause his idea about looking for the place in old stories is such a good one

Matt should never challenge Percy cause Percy will roll that nat20

Gilmore backstory yay!

a dancing sword that will fight on its own, that is so cool

lol I love Samantha; Grog being attracted to any woman that can cause him injury, and as for his flirting - “is he going with you? good”

Percy finally hugs his sister and its to get muck all over her. ah siblings

SCANLAN SHORTHALT

the attempt to get Jarrett ‘drugs’ was hilarious but this is now a huge problem and someone needs to find out and fix this. welcome to the new year where its time to worry about Scanlan!

Vax and Percy talking in the bath is great and Vex hiding underwater makes it even better

Travis being the biggest Perc’ahlia fan is such a joy to watch holy crap

so necromancy is the thing driving all the story arcs. I cannot wait for the Vecna storyline to kick into gear

I wonder what deity Kerr is connected to

“Kerr, the fire has passed through you”

Allura MF Vysoren outdrinking all of them like a champ!  “were you in a motorcycle gang? how did she do that?”

Grog and Keyleth have somewhere along the way become my favorite two members and I hope that when they rearrange the seating they end up sitting by each other

“do you like it shorter?” “I like you”

really like this talk between Vax and Keyleth -- its really good for Keyleth to hear that people have faith in her, and its just really interesting how far Vax has come with faith as well

Scanlan has had a lot of stuff piling up for awhile now and is acting out with drugs. burning Vax’s note and going after more drugs even after his body rejected the first batch - this is such a huge thing and idk how long after Raishan’s death it will take someone to notice since Scanlan has such a high deception modifier. at this point I’m assuming it’ll be Scanlan deception vs Vex perception, like when he lost all that money in Ank’Harel

#critical role #cr spoilers #tag for watching #what lies beneath the surface #so much happened in this episode like holy shit so much

[chelseawolfemusic]

Chelsea Wolfe Talks Hiss Spun // MusicRadar

The word ‘artist’ is used with witless abandon in music, but with Californian songwriter Chelsea Wolfe it feels wholly appropriate. 

An originator and creator, over five albums she has constructed an intricate, dark body of work, one capable of crossing vast spaces, from gothic folk to black metal, while still feeling part of the same awe-inspiring aesthetic. 

2015’s Abyss saw the Sargent House-signed songwriter develop a cavernous dynamic presence through gigantic, dystopian riffs, all contrasted with a tortured Cocteau Twins vocal. Now she has returned with Hiss Spun – a record that bathes in the bleakness of the current global outlook and delves ever deeper into musical extremes. 

Produced by Kurt Ballou and featuring Queens Of The Stone Age’s Troy Van Leeuwen, it’s her heaviest album to date and something of a black mirror record – one that points aggressively at our ugliest tendencies and states: ‘what hath man wrought?’ or in 21st century terms: ‘look at this gigantic shit storm’. 

We spoke to Chelsea about Hiss Spun, what it was like working with Troy Van Leeuwen and Kurt Ballou and the primordial origins of white noise… 

This album was produced by Kurt Ballou at his GodCity studio in Salem, Massachusetts during the winter months. It really feels like you can hear that snow-quieted landscape on the likes of Vex or Two Spirit. How did that surrounding impact you and, by extension, the record? 

The sense of the cold, quiet outside contrasted with the hissing radiators of the warm interiors is reflected on the record 

“Yes, I think the sense of the cold, quiet outside contrasted with the hissing radiators of the warm interiors is reflected on the record. One of the reasons I wanted to record in Salem is because I fell in love with Kurt’s studio last year when I was there working on Converge Blood Moon. 

“Sometimes a building has no effect on the recordings, but sometimes it becomes a character in it. I’d say the GodCity building played a big role in this record. The building has three levels: the basement dungeon where much of the drums were recorded, the middle studio area where all the guitars were recorded, and then the upstairs apartment and vocal room. So I thought of it almost like hell, limbo and heaven... Each level had its own personality.” 

What are Kurt’s greatest strengths as a producer? What does he bring to a record or a session? 

I knew Kurt Ballou would get the kind of metallic, almost engine-like tones I wanted for the bass and guitars 

“I wanted to work with him because this record is very drum-focused, and I’ve been a fan of how he records drums for years. Also I knew he’d get the kind of metallic, almost engine-like tones I wanted for the bass and guitars. 

“When it came to vocals, it was on me to conjure up what I wanted to, but I had already planned for that because I come into the studio really prepared and almost utilitarian-like: ready to work and push myself as far as I can.” 

When we last spoke, you described the tensions - borne from two strong-willed creative characters - you had with John Congleton as being “immediate” but ultimately very positive on Abyss. What sources of tension were there on Hiss Spun? Was it required this time? 

“This time is was more of an internal struggle... A lot of these songs are about my own memories, self-destruction, addiction and ill-health so I had to face that and try to become stronger than the songs I was writing; stronger than the memories.” 

Troy Van Leeuwen joins you throughout Hiss Spun. Why did that stick? What made that playing/writing relationship such a successful one? 

“I knew Troy would get the kind of weird, twisted emotions these songs needed and he did. He’s a great guy and one of my favourite guitar players. 

“The main lead lines on Spun are Troy, and the leads on the choruses for 16 Psyche. I also left space for him on that song to do an aching lead part over the bridge. While he was playing I could feel my guts wrenching and it was perfect, so I asked him to keep going in that direction. 

“He’s on a few others songs playing lead like Offering. Bryan [Tulao, guitarist] played lead on The Culling and Static Hum, both of which are my guitar songs, along with 16 Psyche. Ben [Chisholm] actually wrote a lot of the guitar for this album as well, like the main part for Spun, Vex, Particle Flux and Twin Fawn.” 

In an interview with No Clean Singing you talk about finding “the right guitar and the right pedals and microphone” before writing. How early in your writing process do you consider tone? Why? 

“When I’m initially writing and making demos I’m just going on instincts, but then once we’re in the studio I’ll hone it in and try to think about what’s right for the song - something deep or something more tinny and lo-fi. 

“Kurt helped guide me on this journey, finding the right amps and pedals. I ended up just using this EarthQuaker [power amp distortion] pedal called Acapulco Gold, though; it weirdly fit on a lot of songs.” 

What were your main guitars and amplifiers on the recordings? And how did you use them to get such sizeable distortion sounds? 

The really big distortion tones on the likes of Twin Fawn came about because there are about six layers of guitars on those choruses 

“There was an old Gibson amp I think Kurt uses on a lot of recordings that I used a lot... it just has that great vintage tone, but I was also drawn to his Klipp and used that a lot. The Gibson is an older one for sure. Basically Kurt set up a wall of amps and we just went through and tried them all until I was drawn to the sound of one. It ended up being those two! 

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“In general I don’t always know the technical details of all the gear I choose, I just collect guitars, amps and pedals that I like instinctually. I knew I wanted the guitar tones to sound really metallic on this album, almost like a motorcycle engine, so I was seeking that out on the amp journey. 

“For guitars, I used a Fender Jazzmaster with a Randy Rhoads Dean neck, my Gibson 335s, and a borrowed classical. The really big distortion tones on the likes of Twin Fawn came about because there are about six layers of guitars on those choruses…” 

A Fender Jazzmaster with a Dean neck is quite an unusual beast. What drew you to that instrument? 

“That’s one of Kurt’s guitars - I don’t actually know the story behind it, but I saw it sitting amongst other guitars and was drawn to it. The neck instantly felt good in my hands and then Kurt told me it was the Randy Rhoads edition. I’m such a fan and had Crazy Train on repeat the year before, so it felt meant to be. Plugged into the Earthquaker Acapulco it was a great sound so I ended up using that combo a lot.” 

What do you consider to be the most successful guitar moment on the album? 

“16 Psyche was a riff I had kicking around for a year or so, and when I finally brought it to the band I wasn’t sure if anything would come of it, but right away we all had tons of ideas and it came together really quickly. 

“Another moment is Ben’s guitar playing on Twin Fawn. He also played through that Klipp and layered the choruses maybe six times - I love the little feedback moments on the pauses, and the way the guitars and drums come together at the end of that song is one of my favourite parts of the album.” 

Your press sheet interlinks one of the album’s central themes - global destruction - with the white noise that occurs throughout the album. Why do you think this sound is suited to the topic? What association does it hold for you? 

I’ve had a strong affinity for white noise since I was a kid 

“Carl Sagan said that 1% of TV and radio static is relic sound from the Big Bang. I think something about that connection to the origin is comforting, and I’ve had a strong affinity for white noise since I was a kid. I was talking more about confronting the chaos of the world with your own internal chaos - accepting the mess of yourself and finding strength through that.” 

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You’ve said that you want to write escapist music. We get that sensation with the likes of 16 Psyche. Where does the escapism come for you? 

“I find a lot of freedom in music. I have my writing studio at home, so I can be in a place where I feel fully myself, and I can work and write at any hour of the day. 

“Onstage, it’s taken me years to become comfortable, but my way of dealing is just to lose myself into the songs. Last year, while I was relocating back to Northern California, I was staying with family while I was in-between houses. I didn’t have a lot of personal space, so I ended up writing a lot in headphones, and was reminded of that sense of escapism in music, where you can totally tune out your surroundings and slip into a new world.” 

“It seems like the world has been in tears for months, and then you remember it’s been fucked for a long time, it’s been fucked since the beginning. It’s overwhelming and I have to write about it.” In the face of this, do you think escapism is enough? 

“No, of course not. I was being honest in saying that that’s sometimes how I deal, but I also strive to put a lot of reality about the world into my songs, and tell stories of people to honour them. 

“Particle Flux, for example, has some lines in the choruses that were inspired by watching a short documentary about the refugee crisis coming out of Syria - seeing how these families were torn from their homes and sometimes torn apart, but still remaining so strong: mothers and fathers still trying to make their children smile and pushing on against the terrible situation they’re facing. 

“I have a B-side coming out later this year which I’ll be donating the proceeds of to the UNHCR (UN Refugee Agency). There are so many refugee situations right now and they’re struggling to keep up funding for all of them.” 

You have traditionally been portrayed as a shy character, but this album feels more overt. Do you feel you are gaining confidence in your abilities as a writer and performer? 

“Getting older as a woman and as an artist, I’m becoming more confident, or maybe just giving less of a fuck what people think. [Ultimately] it was fun to write some songs that were more in-your-face and aggressive.”

#Sargent House #Chelsea Wolfe #Hiss Spun #Music Radar