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okgrumps-blog · 7 years

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The Best and the Worst of You

Chapter 3: Superfan Arin

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Dan found himself signing one of the Ninja Sex Party/TWRP posters across in another dimension, whilst a younger, excited Arin watched him with enthusiasm. Dan had tried to explain that he wasn’t this dimension’s ‘Dan Avidan’, nor was he trying to be, but...

“I can’t wait to show Suze.” Arin grinned, taking the poster from Dan once he’d eventually signed it in Arin’s name. “She’s gonna be so jealous.” He giggled to himself.

Dan had to admit, seeing Arin back when he was only in his early twenties had been a slight shock to him. He’d forgotten how weird it was to see Arin at least 50 pounds lighter without a beard or a mustache, despite that being exactly how he’d met him in the first place. He thought it was probably weirder to have walked into Arin’s room to find countless non-existing Ninja Sex Party merchandise – stuff he or Brian had never even thought about releasing. A NSP-themed lunchbox seemed like the coolest thing in the world once he saw it, though.

“Ninja Sex Party… they’re pretty big here, right?” Dan hummed as he walked through Arin’s room, towards a massive canvas of a painting of him and Brian. He studied the canvas carefully, squinting at the corner to read who the artwork was by – they were incredibly fucking talented.

Of course, Arin’s name was scrawled across the bottom.

“Well, yeah, they’re pretty big now.” Arin admitted sheepishly with a shy smile. Dan found it absolutely fucking adorable. “I’ve been to a couple of their shows with a VIP ticket once.” He walked to a section of his wall that held three bright orange concert tickets, pointing to them with pride and a big grin. Dan smiled happily in response – at least they’d met before.

Dan was beginning to realise that any dimension where Arin was without Dan had caused Arin to drastically change. It turned out that Dan was a key component into shaping who Arin was today, and he often wondered what the Dans in various other dimensions were like without Arin.

“Do you animate, by any chance? The Arin in my dimension does.” Dan asked, curious as to how the hell NSP got it’s start if there was no animated music video to Dinosaur Laser Fight; this Arin clearly wasn’t close to Dan in the slightest. Arin shook his head, but reached into one of his bedside drawers and pulled out a big black sketchbook. Dan watched Arin curiously.

“No, but I do a lot of art and stuff… I did the canvas up on the wall there.” Arin opened the book up and showed Dan a variety of sketches, flicking through the pages and glancing up at the older man to check Dan’s expression. Dan had to admit, the art was pretty amazing. He cracked a smile as he saw a couple of Zelda-inspired pieces, then on the last page there was a portrait of Dan’s own face. Dan felt his face turn red, turning to look at Arin, who was also very embarrassed. “I, uh…” Arin began, not really knowing what to say. Dan just smiled fondly back at him.

“It’s really good, Arin.” He closed the book for the shorter man and passed it back to him. “You have insane talent. Keep it up.” He clapped Arin’s shoulder with a big grin.

Time passed quite quickly for the two of them. Arin was keen to hear about Dan’s world, and what his life was like. He was thrilled to hear that he was happily married to Suzy. Dan also spoke about Game Grumps – something that Arin had obviously never had an experience with. Arin found it fascinating. When his time came to a close, Dan got up to prepare to leave and Arin tugged on the back of Dan’s shirt nervously. Dan looked at Arin with a confused expression.

“Can you tell your Arin that I think he’s really cool?” He asked with a timid smile. “At least, from what I’ve heard about him.”

“Of course, I’m sure he’d love that.” Dan chuckled. “Bit of a boost to his ego. And I’ll make sure to tell him all about you, too.” Dan waved a hand before closing his eyes and…

Thud! He hit the bathroom floor, staring up at the ceiling as he waited for the dizziness to wear off. He stretched himself out and made his way through the space until he got to Arin’s office, walking inside with a smile. The moment Dan stepped one foot into the office, Arin spun around and stared at Dan. Dan’s expression fell immediately.

Arin looked like he’d been crying.

“Oh- Ar, what-“ Dan was dumbfounded, quickly going to Arin and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Did something happen?” He frowned. He reached backwards and shut the door to Arin’s office, feeling like Arin would appreciate the privacy.

“When you were gone...” Arin began, rubbing his eyes. “I met another Dan.” He said quietly. Dan stared at him in shock. He sat himself on the couch, attentive, as Arin pushed his chair closer to the couch so that he could talk. “Like, another dimension-traveller Dan.”

At 11pm, Dan had disappeared from the Grump space. Arin was fine with that much – he walked out of his office and made his way to the kitchen, humming softly to himself. He froze at the doorway. Rummaging through the cupboards, his back turned, was none other than Dan himself – or so he thought.

“You guys don’t have any skittles?” The Dan in front of him whined. He slowly turned around and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Arin. Arin was terrified. Dan was scared, too. Dan swallowed the lump in his throat, squinting at the bigger man in confusion. “...Arin?”

Arin felt his heart in his mouth. He didn’t understand why Dan was here. Dan was never here. They stared at each other in disbelief, studying each other’s features.

“I thought you were out dimension-travelling.” Arin said in a dry voice, walking towards Dan, but stopping by the counter. Dan raised his eyebrows with a confused expression.

“I… I’m here right now, aren’t I…?” Dan asked. Arin frowned.

“That’s my point.” He reiterated with a frustrated soft sigh. He reached into the cupboard and pulled out a packet of Skittles for Dan, and a pack of chips for himself. He offered the packet to Dan, seeming fed up. Dan could only look confused, taking the packet from Arin. He watched as Arin tore into his chips and ate them, eyes locked on Dan. Dan felt his lower lip falter.

“You are definitely not my Arin.” Dan mumbled, and Arin swore he nearly choked on his chips. “What- what kinda Arin are you, then?” He asked. It was an innocent question, but Arin had already lost his fucking mind. Today it was the other way around – Dan was visiting him, and to Dan he was only one in billions of versions of Arin Hanson.

He didn’t realise he was crying until Dan hurried to his side and held an arm around him, trying to coo him out of it.

They sat together on the Grump couch, and Dan explained where he came from, to make things a little easier on Arin.

“You’re fucking with me.” Arin said in disbelief. “Boyfriends? But… how? What about Suzy?” His fingers tapped against his thigh as he studied the older man’s face. He was still getting used to the fact that this person wasn’t his Dan.

“She’s just our friend. We’re all really close, though.” Dan grinned. “You, uh… You’re married to Suzy, right?”

“Right.” Arin confirmed. “But she knows that I’m fuckin’ head over heels for Dan.” He rolled his eyes, Dan giggling beside him. “And she said she’s fine with it. It’s kinda become an open relationship thing, but…” Arin shrugged, fiddling with one of the microphone stands. “She’s only ever been seeing Barry. And all I’ve been interested in is Dan.” He had a small grin on his face.

“That’s fuckin’ cool man – does Dan know? Like, have you told him?” Dan asked with a soft but curious tone. Arin was nervously fidgeting with every nearby object he could find.

“Nah.” Arin shook his head. “I don’t wanna ruin shit between us… If I lost Dan, I’d be fuckin’...” Arin went quiet. Dan watched Arin with concern and rested his hand on Arin’s upper thigh.

“Are you okay?” Dan asked very gently. Arin looked at Dan and nodded quickly, the two pairs of brown eyes carefully studying each other.

“I’m good. I don’t- I’m not suicidal or anything.” Arin laughed awkwardly. “I just meant… Well, Game Grumps would be pretty much over. We don’t have the time to go replacing Dan. So it’s better safe than sorry.” Arin explained with a soft smile. Dan was now gently rubbing his thigh, and Arin could feel the colour arise in his face.

“Good. ‘Cos sometimes you can be, and like, I’ve seen some shit…” Dan frowned. Arin snapped his head around and looked at Dan with a shocked expression. Dan tilted his head. “Your Dan must have seen some shit, too.”

“Sometimes he gets back and he’s really upset, then we don’t talk about it.” Arin said, trying to keep his voice under control as it was wavering. “But- Really? ‘Cos- I’m like the ‘true Arin’ right?” Arin asked, searching for an answer. Dan nodded. “Doesn’t that mean that every other dimensional version of me is based on… me?” He asked. Dan’s watch on his wrist beeped and he cursed gently under his breath.

“Okay, I have to go in like, five.” Dan explained, shifting on the couch. “But… you know yourself better than anyone else.” Dan raised an eyebrow. “So, you should know whether shit’s being pulled from you or not.”

That’s all it took for Arin to have what he’d dubbed as a ‘multi-life crisis’.

Dan was cradling Arin in his arms on the couch in Arin’s office. Arin was warm; he’d calmed down a lot more after explaining the situation to Dan. Dan had been very shocked that another Dan had even visited Arin. He ran his hands through Arin’s hair in an attempt to soothe him. The good thing was that Arin had gotten rid of all of the tears before Dan had returned – Dan hadn’t ever seen him cry.

Dan had been holding back information on the bad Arins he’d met – Arins that were mean, or Arins that clearly needed help (when it was more than just Wendy’s at 3am). He would come home and not have the energy at all to talk to Arin, and he was scared that he’d hurt Arin by telling him.

New rules were set by Arin, who was clearly traumatised that there were other Arins out there who had incredibly heightened ideations of self-loathing. Dan had to tell Arin about every single other-dimensional version of Arin, even when the news was hard.

They ordered takeout and drove back to Dan and Barry’s place, the three of them snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. Arin felt incredibly privileged to be sandwiched in between the two. After a while, Arin turned to look at Dan and took a deep breath in.

“Dan.” He began, Barry’s head turning too. Dan looked at Arin and tried to work out what was coming next. “How often do you see like… ‘bad’ versions of me?”

Dan’s blood ran cold, Barry’s too. Barry excused himself, promising to regroup with the snuggle crew after they’d had what was going to be a long conversation. Dan watched as Barry closed the door behind him, pausing the film that they were watching.

“In a week,” He started, sitting up. “In a week I see seven different versions of you, Arin. Breaking it down to averages…” He stopped to think, looking up at the ceiling to do so. He looked back at Arin. “In a good week, I meet lots of positive Arins with totally different lifestyles. Like today – I met an Arin who was super obsessed with Ninja Sex Party.” He grinned. Arin laughed in disbelief.

“Like- did he have one of those rooms with all the merch and stuff?” Arin asked. Dan nodded with a light chuckle.

“Yeah, it was crazy. I even signed a poster for him!” Dan smiled. His expression softened. “I’ve met a lot of negative Arins, too. I’ve talked you out of suicide a couple of times before. But sometimes there’s not enough time, and I leave before I can actually make a difference.” Dan explained, checking to make sure Arin was following along. ‍‍Arin reached over and put a hand on Dan’s knee; he was feeling quite upset about it all. “But that’s usually if you never meet Suzy or me. And…” Dan frowned. Arin frowned too. “I’ve seen you die more times than I’d like to remember.” And Dan leaves it at that.

Arin stayed with Dan and Barry that night, a lot of heavy information hitting him – Dan kind of worried for Arin generally, so it was more of a safety precaution than anything else. Was it a part of him that reflected on the negative versions of himself? Or was it a mutation in the dimension itself?

Dan had offered for Arin to sleep with him in Dan’s bed, but Arin insisted on using the couch. With his newfound feelings towards Dan, he didn’t want to push any boundaries. With a final sigh, he closed his eyes. He hoped he wouldn’t be visited by Dans regularly.

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