#this is just how I'm feelimg today!!
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it's fine
#.txt#he loves me so much more than i want him to i need something simple rn#i need simple -- overly complicated but simple -- connection. i need someone who just wants me physically & nothing more#i need weird complicated sex with rufus i need the closure. i need oli to not love me anymore. i love him so much but i don't think i can do#this anymore. i need the complexity i'm familiar with i know how ru's complexity works n i know how it makes me feel. i know her inside out#seeing her today & feelimg all the old feelings has made me realise how much i want it back. i need 2 love her so much i don't even like her#again. i need the familiarity of that chaos#ugh#🎧#🦠
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bro that yuqi fic made me think about smth. IMAGINE PEGGING G!P YUQI BRO AHHDJFURKSKAKS AND HER AT FIRST BEING SO SHY TO ASK YOU SHE WANTS YOU TO DOM HER-
sry i dont rly know if ur comfortable w this dont mind my ask if u are💁♀️
- your dear 🐺 anon who missed you a lot
Switching roles
G!p yuqi x reader, dom reader, sub!yuqi, pegging, sex toys, strap on,
"Yuqi~ fuck keep going!" You moan,clawing at yuqis back with your nails as she pounds into you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head feeling yuqi force her way through your tight slick walls. " That's it cum for me baby" yuqi say putting her thumb on your clit as she sees you struggling a bit with your orgasm.
Yuqi repositioned herself back up with your filled up hole fucking you again, you look up at her with teary eyes filled with passion filled lust and overstimulation. "Holy shit~" you hissed feeling the building pressure of your orgasm.
You moan as your back arched before cumming on your girlfriends cock before passing out from your 4th orgasm essentially being overwhelmed.
You wake up, the rays of sun shining down on your face signaling it was morning. You stretched out all your limbs squirming a bit. You get out of bed noticing yuqi is gone, you don't pay much know she probably went down stairs.
You grab a new pair of clothes and take a shower. After you were done you went to the kitchen to see yuqi making food for you and her. One of your favorite meals soft tofu soup. You sit down saying good morning as you walk past her. "You are just in time because the food is done!" Yuqi says beaming.
You thank her her than both thanked the meal before eating. You love having a girlfriend that cooks well, food was the 2nd thing that made you happy besides her. "Hey y/n can I ask you something?" Yuqi says sounding quite serious. You felt a lump in your throat only thinking of the worst possible scenario.
Yuqi noticed your unsteady eyes and notice your anxious body language. "Babe, relax, I'm not Breaking things off with you yet, you know how much I love you". You felt a weight come off your chest feeling better. "Oh thank god....YET!?!?!" You say catching onto yuqis bluff before pushing her a bit as she laughs, her voice deep and echoing. " I was wondering if we could switch roles in bed" yuqi say as she picks at her plate.
You blush a bit Feelimg surprised by the question, yuqi underneath you? Sure you've been top a few times in your sex life but you've never pegged someone. "Are you sure?" Asking hesitantly. "I don't want to hurt you it will take quite a while to feel comfortable" your voice showing deep concern. "I'll be fine! I promise" yuqi says quite confidently before grabbing your hand and squeezing it. "Ok if you say so" you say smiling. "Let's wait for a bit though, ok?" She nods before putting your plates away.
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It's been a week since you and yuqis conversation and today was definitely the day Yall both were off from working, your hormones raging and your package has arrived. A brand new strap on. You blush thinking of the item you bought nervous for what was going to happen but still excited.
Night fell and you and yuqi were sharing a spicy kiss. You decide to dom yuqi in the kiss this time sticking your tongue practically down her throat. Yuqi moans feeling you taste her. "Someone seems excited~" you tease yuqi palming her bulge through her pants. Yuqi blushes a bit from getting getting turned on for something so small. "Go to the room and strip for me I'll be there soon" you say nudging yuqi a bit before she got up and went to the room.
You had gotten the strap, taking your clothes of and adjusting the straps to your waist. You go to the room to see yuqi, her fingers deep inside of her small tight hole. "Aww baby" you say grabbing her small wrist. You replace her fingers with the tip of your strap before letting a glob of saliva, coating the fake cock in it.
"Are you sure?" You ask on last time yuqi slowly nods hesitantly. "Yes I'm ready!" .You slowly push in, stopping anytime yuqi made a painful whine or whimper. Yuqi being in the position she was in,faced down in the pillows and ass against you hips. Once you were fully in after 10 minutes you stayed still moving in and out occasionally. Finally a moan slipping from yuqis mouth "Please move..."
You slowly pull out and pushed back in yuqi now gasping her knuckles turning white from her grip on the sheets. "Baby go harder...". "You sure are pretty needy huh?" You say teasing her causing her to blush out of embarrassment. You kiss her temple before stroking her hard leaking cock. You being to increase the pace of your thrust into yuqis tight hole. Moans fall out of her mouth as her cock twitches begging for release. "Mommy may I please cum" she groans out. "Since you asked so nicely why not?" you say before going at an ungodly speed while stroking yuqis tip fast causing her to have ruined orgasm by the way it was forced out if her.
Yuqi screams as she spilled her seed over the sheets. 'Aww what a mess I should punish you for messing up the sheets but I'll let it slide this time" you say before pulling out. "That-was amazing" yuqi say still out of breath. "Can we do this more?" She says looking at you as you remove the straps. "Of course anytime you want!" You say beaming before going to yuqi kissing her.
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Title -- Me becoming, and knowing that I would end up like Jeannie in the song. The concept of this sad girl trying so desperately to begin again, but will she ever actually find it.
Bad Boys -- Me feeling like what the song is essentially talking about: choosing all the wrong guys. Even the ones that I think are good! "And I give you my love, but my love ain't enough for you" I relate that line to Jeremiah.
Boy Problems -- me envisioning Diane's perspective of me when/if I always come to her about my perpetual "boy problems" because I'm never at peace with them. How ridiculous I must look at feel to her. I relate the "I think I broke up with my boyfriend today, and I don't really care" because it's the impression I'd assume that I'm giving off to Jeremiah. ?
Jeannie Becomes a Mom -- how I feel overall right now, hence the name of the playlist. I base putting this song mostly because of what I saw from my ex. And thinking I was safe with Jeremiah. I'm feeling the need to just move away and pursue yet another dream life, because I feel like I've fucked up so much here in Denton. The song also has a sarcastic meaning to me because I could just as easily flounder elsewhere. It's really me that's the issue.
Promises -- Me re-feelimg the anxiety and hurt I felt when I pictured 'her' car at his house. And me breaking the promise to myself that I would never look at this shit again. Maybe I wasn't quite ready for it.
High Horse -- missing you, Jeremiah.
Flattery -- this feeling of I just want one of us to swallow our pride and admit that we miss the other. Maybe this concept is completely made up in my head. Are you okay? I'm not okay. It's not okay. And it blew up, neither of us saw it coming. "I can forgive it, I can forget it..."
"I'm not in your arms."
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Burn out SUCKS. It feels like you're punching a wall in your head that just won't break. Sometimes it isn't even that you don't want to do things! You want to do everything, but it just isn't happening. Letting myself relax and enjoy other things is how I deal with it. After a while, the spark comes back. Maybe you could try making smaller scale stuff if you still want to create? Love you. <3
Love you too, my little fishy. ❤
For me, it's gotten to a point where it's that I don't want to, I can't. I've been working almost everyday, doing something I hate, and sometimes for hours nonstop. The heat doesn't help at all, and when I come back home I gotta do all the chores people haven't done with my mom...
I've been wanting to create something, anything. But haven't been let. And ultimately, that has made me feel terrible. If I write, I see no worth in anything I do. If I draw, I have a full on breakdown because I've got a lot of baggage and my brain won't stop telling me I suck at it.
I've tried playing games and reading, but again, haven't had the time to. Haven't been let. I can only do so at night when everyone is asleep so I gotta stay up super late to do what I like.
Nothing has inspired that much either and it's... So so tiring. Talking about it makes me feel terrible, hah. To be honest I feel like I've failed everyone. I keep thinking to myself, "You were everyone's inspiration, the one who made them love the Abyssals as much as you do, and now you can't even write a damn sentence."
I always tell myself too, that there's always other people out there that can do what I do, so why bother? It's been tough. So so tough. And it's not a feelimg that comes from jealousy, it's a feeling of being desperate to do anything. But knowing that maybe, it won't matter. I just want to enjoy doing something. I miss writing about them.
Burnout sucks. I hate it with every fiber of my being. A lot has happened and I don't know if this how my brain decided to respond.
I'll try to, though. I'm trying really hard and wanted to ask for help but, sadly, it's not something anyone can help you with. At the end of the day, I'll have to wait until I can do what I like again. Part of me wants to quit and not think about it anymore.
But then if I do, I'll just become a work machine. It sucks. Ugh. Sorry for the long ask, ya girl is going through it.
I'm sorry Specter, today is a day to celebrate, not to be sad.
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I'm not getting attached to them I dont like them and I feel like they are talking to me just to be heard cause they dont ask things back and talk a lot about them and that makes me have war flashbacks to when people I used to love very deeply that did similar things to me and now my personality is fucked
Also me: I HAVE THE URGENT NEED TO TELL THEM HOW BAD IM FEELIMG TODAY I WANNA BE VULNERABLE YESYESYES
NNNNOOOOOO WWWHHYYYYY
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Did you ever watch wreck it ralph 2? I completely forgot about it. I just saw a little gif of it and I remembered when I watched it. We weren't talking anymore at the time. There was a lot of dialogue between ralph and Penelope which reminded me of you. It sounds silly, and I don't know if you saw it but in the movie they stop talking to each other. I can't exactly remember why. It was just so ironic at the time. And when they started to talk again they said things I'd imagine we'd say to each other. "I miss my best friend." Things like that. It just made me so sad. I really missed you so much, and for so long. We hardly spoke with each other for a year and a half until just last month. The movie just got to me and I knew I wanted to talk to you again, but I just didnt know if you wanted me to. There was one time where you asked me "why are you talking to me again?". When you asked then I didn't really know how to answer. But it was because I missed you. Why else would I want to talk again? It's hard not having you in my life. You do so much for me, and I love talking to you. I get happy knowing that you are. And that you're safe, and that you're still going strong. I'm listening to my sad songs so that might be a reason I'm feelimg this way. You've always been strong, krys. I wish I had a part of that. I'm getting pretty sleepy now. Knowing that you save some of these posts makes me really happy too. Sometimes when I get really happy playing a game I love, or watching something I love I let out a big smile, and my eyes begin to water. If there's music I love playing in the background of a game in a cool moment, or an incredible scene from a show I love it happens too. When I played my favorite game sometime ago, and I sent you the videos of the stuff I have around my room of that series I got really happy. When I got to a stage with really good music I audibly say "yeah!" And I nod my head up and down to the beat of the music, and my eyes water. I smiled and had that happen when you said you have a folder of my posts. It's just so nice to hear that you do, and that you might read over your favorites and get a little happier. I'm really happy they make you feel better sometimes. I had a lot of fun with you watching me play earlier. I always get more excited to try to do well if you're watching. And I'm glad you had fun too. That triple headshot was so damn good. I try to make you laugh a little with some of the things I say, and hopefully they worked. But I'm gonna try and sleep now. Gotta buy some turnips so I can sell them and have more money to buy you stuff with. I hope you had a good day today. And I hope you sleep well, too. Goodnight, lil krys.
Oh! And yeah it's a baby reason but I'm trying to forget about that reason. We're still talking, things are just a little different right now. It won't be like this forever.
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Hello, I'm depressed today.
My Docter has told me I shouldn’t be checking how I’m feeling as soon as I wake up.
It would make me find small things which would make me sad and ‘we don’t want that now do we dear?’
But today I didn’t need to check.
Because I woke up feeling empty and at the same time so incredibly full I could explode.
I woke up feeling depressed today.
And he has told me to take my medication because 'it’ll help you relax’ but why would I take medication?
The only memories I have of those so called 'meds’ is wanting to overdose and doing so as time past by.
I’m feeling depressed today.
And tommorow it might be over.
But today I want to die more than ever and I don’t know how to handle the empty full feelimgs anymore.
The song stay used to help don’t work anymore and my mind won’t stop over thinking.
I will not die today.
Yhat’s what I tell myself every time I look at the drawer hiding ten different bottles of 'medication’.
No I will not die today.
I’m just depressed today.
And tommorow will be better.
Maybe.
#slam poem#original#depressing thoughts#depressed#overthinking#poetry#writing#medication#itll be okay#it'll get better#I promise
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