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boxwinebaddie · 7 months

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What are Stan and Kyle’s favorite seasons?

*cracks knuckles, unsheathes my gigantic pink, hello kitty enchiridion of manically compiled style knowledge ( aka fanfiction lore galore ) and pets my beautiful fluffy cat whilst swirling my $12 rose box wine around in a $2 dollar thrift store mug, peering eeriely*

ah! a lovely visitor at my lodging! i've been expecting you! or so the fates foretold and the tarot has tattled~ and perhaps my frilly, bell-sleeved robes reveal me, but i am called many things: pretty, witty...a man-hating, soothsaying sorceress and tawdry disgrace to my bitter bloodline, but you, my moon blossom, may call me armarius nina -- better known as your stylibrarian.

now, sit a spell, young scholar! ( though, you're charming enough without my ancient enchantments ) and let your heavy heart enlighten with the sage wisdom i impart on you whilist you rest your bones and gear up for your next great adventure!

but speaking of bones: you may find some in the closet. a few experiments i'm running on what pathetic, spineless, excuses for 'men' and crass chauvinistic pigs i find lollying about.

dear elora does find misogynists so very delicious these days. :)

now, my friends, as we return to the realm of reality, where i do not live, i am sure it's abundantly clear by my skyrim-esqe, taverny, dnd introduction, that i am very deranged, verbose and dedicated to my (witch-bitch-craft), which is pulverizing the south park canon so violently that they resemble the worthless men in my dungeon.

however, in doing so, i do put a lot of time and effort into dissecting the stan and kyle's across my ninaverse and thus, have far too much to say and am far too impassioned/excited about your question! <3

( nobody, of course, should be forced to read all this, but if you find my musings about the boys amusing, you might want to gander. )

and in the land of logic, where i also do not live, i know that...all my ncu style sons are just...stan and kyle at the end of the day. but to me at least, stan the man with the plan, kyle pile, jersey and raven are not the same people at all! they exist in different compartments in my brain and are greatly similar, but exist in radically different timelines.

...but perhaps i am simply gaslighting myself into believing all my many madman ramblings...but! live, laugh, love delusion, babey! ;)

and without further ado, down below, my ncu style season ninalysis.

now, something that i find terribly thrilling about the dynamic of the pep!style boys is that they are perfect opposites who attract. and as such, each their favorite seasons is the other's least favorite season, which if you've read my awful, monstrosity, abomination mess of a fanfiction, this fits right in with their moon-sun metaphor and motif.

starting with pep!stan, his favorite season is undoubtedly summer, not to be confused with #stanseason, which i will elaborate on later. speaking of summer, i think actually even mentioned it canonically at the beginning of chapter seven that summer is stan's fave season.

and stanley randall william marsh just...IS summer.

he's the crisp sound of cracking an ice cold beer on a scorching trip to stark's pond, swimming like a river nymph, watching a superhero movie surrounded by all his friends, gorging on hot, buttered popcorn, laughing so hard at the stupidest things that it sends a rocket of his extra large blue raspberry icee shooting out his nose, spiked, of course, with vodka, so it burns like fuck and is so funny.

he's holding your hand at the county fair on the highest part of the ferris wheel when you get scared, winning the strength test, gifting you a comically large stuffed bear you cherish forever, and feeds you pieces of funnel cake like you're the most precious thing in the world.

he's just...singing siren songs at the summer camp bonfire, collecting seashells for little girls, guarding baby turtles from being eaten by birds and guiding them safely into the water with a tearful goodbye.

the summer sky is clear and cerulean like his big, pretty eyes. sun's, guns out. and when it's hot outside, stan is out doing hot boy things.

be it hiking, biking, soccer, football, basketball, baseball, swimming, skateboarding, stanley marsh never gets sunburned, tans beautifully, gets sunkissed by mother nature, her favorite and basking in the glow of the summer sun is the closest thing he feels to happiness.

but, as we learned in our science rechap in the pep nine kyle denial, what comes up must come down. and with the intensity of stan's emotions, comes an equal instability, so what is summer sky high must meet a brutal, bitter ground zero winter. without mercy.

and when that flip flop drops...that means that IT has begun.

it being...

#stanseason. :/

now, sometimes during september its still little tepid and shiny and stan's favorite holiday ( that little goth bitch ) is halloween, so october is alright ( barring his birthday ) because even if it's a little gloomy outside, it fits the spooky season vibe that is literally his whole 'thing'.

but the second halloween is over...when the thirty first of october becomes the first of november...something in him just...snaps.

the switch goes off and gets stuck there. basically, he has really gnarly seasonal depression and that plays really, really poorly with his bipolar disorder and depression. like, i swear when the blue of the sky goes grey, stan's eyes dull with it. everything is so bleak, all the plants he loves so much wither and die, animals go into hiding, everything is either grey or white or pitch black at night and so miserable to him.

especially during winter break and weekends, he just holes up in his room and his childhood bed basically becomes his deathbed as he succumbs to what are some of his scariest depression episodes. him and wendy actually break up the most in the winter months because when the sun is gone, stan just goes...cold. full stop communication.

but also he can't help it. he's undiagnosed, so he's unmedicated besides his adderall ( which is a part of 13/14 ) so he just gets catatonic, can't move, can't eat, can't do anything, just cries and curls up in a ball and sleeps entire weeks away like that. my baby :(

on a deeper and way more fucked up level than even THAT though, more than weather, it's what happens during #stanseason because stan is extremely triggered and traumatized by the holiday season.

for starters, his birthday is just...he tries to avoid it every single year or is too drunk to remember it in order to get through it because the best thing about his bday to him is that hes a year closer to death :(

the actual holidays are so much worse though because of...sigh...Randy Marsh. he is a fucking monster during the holidays.

he ruins and terrorizes everyone every year it's so fucking awful. thanksgivings are shitty as fuck for him because he's just like sitting there and eating the side dishes, trying to just exist and randy is calling him a sissy and little girl and a fucking f*g for not eating meat.

christmas actually used to be stans favorite time of year!!! believe or not!!! like he liked xmas more than halloween because of the pretty lights and everyone being so happy and being able to get people gifts

:') sharon used to take little stan all over the neighborhood with their lights out with him on her shoulders, then eventually, when stan got too old for that and kyle came around, stan used to drag him by the hand, babbling and bright eyed. he also used to sing kyle christmas songs and it gaslit kyle into liking them because is just stan's voice so so nice and pretty and ugh...STAN FUCKING LOVED CHRISTMAS!!!

i also think it was around christmas that randy got drunk backed out of the driveway...and killed sparky, so stans in mourning during the winter time and visits sparkys grave by starks pond...i'm so :'(

FUCK YOU RANDY!!!! FUCK YOU SO MUCH!!! MEET ME IN THE PIT BITCH!!! YOU WONT YOU WONT!!!!

like i think what really put the nail in the coffin was one year when stan was in middle school ( he was happy during elementary school and was...getting wary of holidays/randy in middle school ) randy got drunk, really angry and violent for some reason...and on christmas morning, stan, shelley and sharon came down to carnage.

like all the presents just smashed up, toys in pieces, beautiful jewelry destroyed, the christmas tree they decorated absolutely desecrated, half of the presents in the fireplace it was sooooo horrible. and randy was just passed out drinking spiked eggnog on their living room floor, sleeping fucking peacefully. >:(

so stan...hates christmas now. stan who is a christmas angel. stan who loves cheer, happiness, whimsy and spirit. like gets mad when he hears christmas songs, is irritable all month long. :( STAN WHO LOVES MINT!!!! MY PEPPERMINT BABY! he can't even enjoy all the nice peppermint flavored stuff he loves because is so traumatized by xmas and the holiday season.

but to segway into the next part of my deranged season analysis of the ncu boys, i wanna loop back to stan's scary seasonal depression because those episodes often become serious stan alcohol benders.

it's cold outside and he's cold inside, but he doesn't know how to get warm so in his fucked up, untherapised sad boy brain he is like okay, well, alcohol makes me feel warm and makes me feel good, so if i drink itll just fix everything and i'll feel better again. so he's just getting violently drunk all winter long to microdose feeling good, to microdose warmth, TO MICRODOSE KYLE BROFLOVSKI.

ergo:

stan's favorite season is summer because it makes him feel the way that kyle makes him feel. stan likes summer because kyle is the sun.

micdrop. sjdlkdjads

so pep!kyle is like stan's little spot of sunlight in an otherwise wretched winter, which is actually very cute and funny because kyle's favorite season is winter. :)

he's just my little ice prince, steely solitaire, wicked, wintry, slow burn tsundere ( sorry ), glacier boy, who actually under the cold boy exterior is really just a romance literature enjoying, secret soft boy.

but, outwardly at least, and as we established throughout peppermint, but most specifically in chapter three, kyle broflovski is a Hater. of so many things, but save for house parties, crying babies, small spaces and rave music, kyle truly hates the ever-loving, or hating, rather, fuck out of the summertime.

he hates when it's hot and sticky ( ew ), sweating himself or seeing anyone sweat openly repulses him ( unless stan marsh is at the gym and kyle is spotting him -- he loves his job so much ), he hates the smell of sunscreen which he has to slather all over himself not to sunburn, which he still does anyway, so he spends all summer with his skin basically in red, angry, tender welts,

he gets really self conscious ( fuck the list ) going out in swim trunks, or even just shorts/sleeveless shirts ( he is really only comfortable in shorts around the house or playing basketball, other than that, cartman made a weird comment about his legs and he never recovered from that :((( -- you're so beautiful baby ) and really, that all chocks up to kyle having serious summer seasonal depression.

kyle hates summer but...kyle loves stanley marsh. so kyle endures summer specifically for stan and this does...have several benefits.

see, while stan is constantly on the move and hard to catch during the summer, flying from one outside boy activity to the next, kyle has spent his entire life running after his super best friend and does have an advantage in catching him. he does, however, need to catch his breath constantly.

which! thankfully, stan always has kyle's inhaler at the ready but if kyle hits his inhaler and stan hits him with the beautiful laugh, one dimple, hair ruffle combo...he does need to hit his inhaler again. it's a vicious cycle...but its very worth it for kyle.

mainly b/c he gets to watch stan do all his summer stuff.

specific iconic stan marsh hot boy summer activities/antics include:

that month stan was mowing lawns shirtless to save up for a new game console and kyle crashed into multiple trees on his bike, that time his mom asked him to patch something up on the roof instead of rancid and stan spent like a whole week in the rolled up teeshirt, fuckboy snap back sexc handyman tool shed cosplay and almost fell off the roof several times waving excitedly at kyle who...was shamelessly oogling from his window...smh.

stan playing shirts vs skins soccer, stan gang vs. craig gang, but kyle was taking summer courses at the community college, and when he was done he came back to stan shouting his name, running across the field like he was in some coming of age romcom movie to hug kyle golden and glistening with outside boy athlete sweat, ( kyle made one sweat exception...he also almost died when that happened help ), stan got ice cream far too often and accidentally ate it in a way that god really did not intend and kept kyle up for many nights...

the things that stanley marsh did to kyle broflovski before he realized that he was in love with him...need to be punished by a court of law.

most notably, when they were cits at tardicaca last summer, kyle really said fuck them kids and almost lost several of them multiple times watching stan life guard behind his sunglasses...JAIL, BABY!

but of course, when summer is over, stan falls ill during fall and shuts down in winter kyle freaks out and rightfully so! ( like stan almost died of alcohol poisoning last year and even before that, has been sad and bad enough to warrant deep concern. ) and kyles sheilas son, so he does make stan keep his window open and his blinds up just so he can check on him and bring him stuff, come over, read, etc.

my personal taylor swift headstannon is that pep!stan and kyle do the notebook thing in you belong with me where they exchange notes through their windows ( kyle has definitely held up that really pathetic ‘i love you’ one while stan was in the bathroom...crying )

— it usually happens if one of them is grounded, if they're snowed in, if stan is trying to annoy kyle and get him to stop studying, or kyle is trying to nag stan into studying lmao...my sons who are in luv.

but yeah, stan's window is open for ( rip, suicide watch ) which means kyle's window is also open, so stan just gets to watch him do really cute winter boy things…

…like read his romance novel when no one is looking, dance awkwardly and adorably around his room to line without a hook ( kyle is very ricky montgomery coded to me like...mr. loverman HELLO!!! ), organize all his things, drink his stanley marsh peppermint hot cocoa in his stanley marsh stolen hoodie, or watch the snowflakes with wonderment, drawing things on the frosted glass.

and for a boy who was supposedly not in love with his super best friend...stan did spend a lot of time and got a lot of serotonin watching kyle through his window like his favorite tv show. smh.

b/c ky hates the sun. but really likes snow. it is just a very interesting scientific, natural and beautiful process to him. he gets really cold but that is okay, because he has anemic boy privileges and stan bundles him up in his varsity jacket and so many flannels and scarves its so funny, he's so worried about him. idk kyle gets really excited when it starts snowing, its so cute, stan is like aw kp!!!! :') <333

( stan always picks his little tea or latte up for him and kyle burns his mouth because he has no patience and burns his mouth every time so stan always orders him a kid temperature one....so cuuuute. )

basically the best way i can sum up how stan and kyle are during december is that kyle is this december by ricky montgomery and stan is december by neck deep, and is either the electric guitar or the acoustic version depending which bipolar episode he's in.

but yes, closing thoughts....pep stan is a summer sun, winter moon and kyle is a winter sun and a summer moon. he...lp. ta....da?

okay...phew.

go take a break if you've read this part. we have reached the halfway point folks. the end is in sight...but first...rm style seasons. ;) <3

starting with jersey....he is autumn, to which you might argue ( as kyle often does ), but nina! rm!jersey kyle is so much more cold, callous and brutal than pep!kyle, wouldn't he be winter instead?

but ah, dear scholar, you forgot that rm!kyle...is our Y/N.

as such, he loves september when school comes back around ( he does not know what to do when he's not being a student, i'm scared for him ), he delights very much in pumpkin spice flavored things, sits in grounded on his days off with his laptop doing his homework, hair put up, drowning in his gigantic cable knit sweater, or reading the news paper after his mock trials with his blazer hanging off the back of the chair, plaid slacks on, reading glasses on, sipping a london fog, having a cinnamon scone, enjoying the grey and misty weather.

for those reasons, jersey!kyle likes autumn, of course, but if you want the god honest truth...the reason kyle loves autumn...is because....

...stanley marsh was ( is ) autumn.

ravenstan just smells of cinnamon and spiced apple cider, chai tea, warm handmade blankets, firewood and whiskey. so during fall, everything just smells, tastes and feels like stanley marsh...which is the best thing in the world...and the worst fucking thing in the world.

because stan's was born in the fall...and died in the fall. :(

every autumn is honestly traumatizing for kyle, it's very bittersweet, even down to stan talking walks with him in the forest and having used to tell kyle that autumn looked like him because the leaves turn the color of his hair...but now kyle takes lonely walks in the city and can feel that emptiness next to him where stan should be. :'((

it's a harm and a comfort, honestly. he used to like aggressively hoard fall scented things when he was having really bad I See Stan episodes, but dr. margolis ( kyles therapist ) told him that that kind of obsessive behavior is unhealthy and he should avoid dwelling too much on stan during fall aka not order a bunch of cinnamon flavored stuff to soothe the sadness of his passing...but its...he slips a lot.

and when he falls in fall, he really falls HARD because he'll be making a coffee fine one second and then a man with blue eyes orders a chai tea latte and kyles hand is shaking so bad that he burns his arm on the machine and...i'm so sad. there's a little thing he does on stan's birthday every year, its kind of like a birthday tradition they used to do. i can't talk about it yet, but it will come up. its autumnal. :')

and onto the final part of this behemoth of an ask message, oh my god. stan, stan. ravenstan, who is so, so, so, soooo spring.

i know you guys don't know that much about him other than kyle's surface level reactions of him and psychosis around him being stan, but he is really like a persephone boy really that is a hades boy now.

he really is just like magical forest creature. all the flowers bloom and he just lights up. raven like...loves plants. he is my little witchy herbology botany boy king i love him so much. he could lay down in the grass for hoooours and could write so many songs about it. aaa!!!

kyle is disgusted by spring because his pollen allergy is so bad, but in the same way that winter kyle showed up for summer stan to watch him do hot boy outside boy summer things, autumn kyle shows up for spring stan doing soft sprite disney prince nature boy stuff <3

being up at the farm as far as randy goes was awful, but its really pretty during the spring and him and kyle used to just go out into the pastures, all the little meadows and divits, sit by the pond ( yes stan is that filthy nasty boy who chases all the bugs and frogs and gets covered and dirt and mud and everything smh...brother nature )

even before sheila hyperfixated on plying kyle with lavender to help him calm down from his panic attacks after stans 'death' because that's what the internet and all the specialists did -- stan used to make him cute little flower crowns and stuff and weave lavender into his hair and make him bracelets out of blades of grass and stuff...which i think he still has dreams about to this day.

...and i honestly think its hard for kyle to sit out in nature because it reminds him so aggressively of stan...the trauma omg. free my man!

also i'd say ravenstan like pep!stan would have been running around doing outside boy sports too during his month but...unfortunately the south park boys in elem/middle, specifically eric cartman was gatekeeping all of those sports...in a way that deeply disgusts me.

like okay, i feel like where pep!stan's thing was mostly football, ravenstan's thing is HOCKEY and wanted to join the hockey team or play hockey with all the south park boys and eric cartman was like

"you can't join sh*n because you're a g*rl!!!!”

....to which he proceeded to like aNNIHILATE and DECIMATE every single boy at hockey...like in a way that for a pacifist icon was so brutal and Iconic that multiple boys went home bruised and crying.

also he totally winked at kyle in his gigantic wayne gretski jersey with his big, charasmatic lopsided grin w/ his chipped front tooth and kyle was immediately in luv.

stan marsh when he was still stan marsh and 11...was such a literal fucking legend i love him. he really has so much true grit n tenacity.

small final note one hockey and ice sports though, kyle never played hockey with the boys because cartman was extremely cruel to him.

he also did not take to hockey but he is....really good at ice skating. nosm as a concept is so cute to me ( i think pep!kyle also learned to ice skate after the stark's pond incident ) but jersey kyle is secretly a really, really talented beautiful, graceful ice skater and stan was just fuckin bodying people in hockey and two languages. <3

and that's all? i think? my word.

EDIT: WAIT I FORGOT THAT ITS ALSO RAVENS FAVORITE SEASON BECAUSE KYLES BIRTHDAY IS IN SPRING ALSO! GAY!!!

tldr: pep!stan summer, pep!kyle winter, rm!jersey fall, ravestan spring

i hope this provided you with the kind of electric energy that i felt while writing it, i am currently levitating oh my god. if you're wondering why my updates are slow, it's because i waste my time writing ask memes the size of two updates for basic questions.

-uncle nina, ceo of style season

#okay...this is my masterpiece #but please do not read this if you don't want to its really long #and probably spelled very bad #but this feels extremely accurate to me #like idk if im being crazy but theyre all different seasons and people and it all makes so much sense in my crazy brain #also rip talking abt pepstyle...i fucking love my sweet soft boys i am...gonna try and write 12 again i miss them #also i feel like im talking too much abt rm but its taking me so long to write these chapters that like #i swear to god by chapter 7 ill have accidentally spoiled the whole fic to you guys i cant keep secrets #im just not sly like that and impaitent #BUT I HOPE THIS HELPS LMAO AND I HOPE IT FEELS ACCURATE TO YOU IT FEELS SCARY ACCURATE TO ME #LIKE IF I WAS GONNA FRAME AN ASK MEME IT WOULD BE THIS ONE RIGHT HERE #ALSO IM SORRY BUT IM RIGHT ARGUE W UR MOMMA OR THE WALL BUT NOT ME BABY!!!! IM RIGHT ABOUT THIS #now i gotta take a brain and hand break because that was...alot omg...*stan vc* wowza

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