#this continues to be an aziraphale stan account

[wordsinhaled]

i’m so totally normal about the fact that aziraphale’s last (known) deliberate foray into the queer community was when he learned the gavotte at the fictionalized hundred guineas club (!!!) in the 1800s and now in the 2020s he’s like “grindr? what’s that?”

many are talking about his repression which is very valid… and yet the thing to me that stands out about aziraphale is that he’s actually… incredibly stable in his identity and that identity IS incredibly queer. queer by the standards of heaven AND by human standards as well

metatron describes his “de facto partnership” with crowley as “irregular.” and in fact aziraphale in his entirety is irregular. he likes and makes it his business not only to understand but to be a connoisseur of all manner of things angels aren’t supposed to even remotely care about. food. music. books. theatre. sleight of hand. and more.

it’s the sort of behavior that would’ve gotten him othered, treated as a bit odd, in heaven even if he hadn’t chosen to consort all across the earth with a literal demon. and it IS treated that way - the fact is aziraphale even as an angel has got proclivities that set him apart from the rest of the host (even after offering him the highest position in heaven, metatron still acts deeply dismissive of him… like aziraphale’s bookshop is merely a quaint little hobby of his that can be easily transferred to another custodian, and not a literal extension of who aziraphale has become, full of his tartan and unique bibles and special vintages of wine and the books arranged in a very specific way)

so. aziraphale is a queer angel but of course he’s also queer to other humans. but in such a way that… he had his realization a LONG time ago, and put the matter very much to rest after that. aziraphale is perpetually something like several centuries behind schedule. he owns an ancient computer that probably continues to run windows 98 simply because aziraphale’s decided it should. he wears the same waistcoat and coat for generations because he simply likes them precisely the way they are and sees no reason to change them. but the idea that he doesn’t know how he comes across to others - of course he does. he knows he looks like your prim and proper grandfather and he prefers it that way

aziraphale looked around at humans in the 1880s and said: ah yes. this is where i fit. and promptly ensconced himself in that queer subculture. learned the gavotte. read his austen. loved crowley from afar. aziraphale is fiercely and vibrantly queer. just with the sort of assurance of someone who lives with his lover in a commonlaw marriage for decades and then shows up at city hall for the certificate once society decides it’s ‘allowed.’ like… he hasn’t had any need to know what grindr is because aziraphale’s ‘scene’ was a century and a half ago and it defined romance for him too.

but my favorite thing about aziraphale is how much of him is about appearances versus the truth. he can lie straight to angels’ faces and sleep at night. he knows he comes off soft but he once wielded a flaming sword. he dissembles helplessness but he’s far from it and he knows precisely how it makes others treat him. and at the core of aziraphale is rigidity, inflexibility of ideas… his sense of self is stable where crowley’s is malleable, and so on, and so on

and the fact that he’s continuously fixated on trying to misguidedly do the right thing, the fact that he seeks heavenly approval and wants to fit the world into his schema of good vs evil… in no way do i think that means he isn’t one hundred percent aware of how he feels about crowley or what it means about him by angelic or human standards. i’ve seen some folks saying that aziraphale doesn’t want to like kissing crowley and like… as much as i love me some brideshead revisited/atonement flavored angst; i put forth that it’s not internalized homophobia or queer panic but simply: “i’m trying to do the right thing for both of us and you won’t let me.” and “i wanted our first kiss to be different.” he was envisioning an entirely different flavor of romance than what he got but he emma woodhoused too close to the sun

like, y’all. aziraphale in all likelihood has a glorious collection of historical queer erotica. he just has a feathery diva coat hanging in his closet, and for what. “oh, good lord” he says at crowley’s revolutionary outfit in the bastille, while eyeing him up like an entire meal. he’s so good at affected propriety, at carefully constructed stuffiness, but between the two of them aziraphale’s got to be the one who has experience

aziraphale had been physically throwing himself at crowley the entire season. he orchestrated an entire regency ball so they could touch hand to hand. he spends the entire season (well, and season 1) looking at crowley like he’s particularly coveted. he looked at crowley before the fall like he was glorious and beautiful. aziraphale’s queer and he knows it and i think that isn’t his problem, it’s the fact that he wants to build a different sort of future for the two of them but crowley’s gone and thrown a wrench in it by reminding him of everything he can finally have. like. that’s the heartbreak. it’s how dare you make this ugly? i forgive you for our first kiss being all pain and salt. it’s my dearest, i wanted to make heaven as beautiful as you deserve. as sacred and safe for us as our bookshop. and i can do that for us, because once i held a flaming sword and i still remember how the hilt felt in my hands. and now the taste of you is in my mouth.

#coughs this is also why aziraphale’s a dom. but that’s a separate post #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 spoilers #this continues to be an aziraphale stan account #‘aziraphale is traumatized’ and ‘aziraphale celebrates the part of himself that loves crowley’ are two ideas that can coexist #feeling a bit like this take might get me flamed whoops but. i’m deep in my az feelings tonight so i guess i’ve decided to share anyway

[problematicwelshman]

I'm about his age and didn't know why for the longest only some of the Instagrams I followed appeared in my feed. Turns out that the more I liked something, the more my feed was filtered down to focus on the things/people I liked, denying me the ability to see others who might not post as much so by ratio didn't get as many likes. It was this cycle that kept feeding itself until one day I was like, why haven't I seen this or that in a while? Looking into it is how I found out.(continues in p2)

(p2) I don't have a Twitter, but if it works that way there, then maybe he doesn't even realize what he's not seeing because he doesn't realize that's how it works either? If I were one of the artists not being seen, maybe I'd try "at"-ing Neil Gaiman. (Good Lord, you can tell I'm old by that sentence alone. LOL) Another thing that might be happening, since he seems to only like really silly things, is that he goes on Twitter for the silly stuff because its escapism and distracting. (cont. p3)

(p3) That's why I basically got on Instagram originally myself. Distraction. I love books and found out about "bookstagramming." And I suddenly realize how that sounds. No, I'm not Aziraphale or pretending to be Aziraphale. I'm a real person who is a big book nerd and loves Good Omens. LOL Anyway, there's a take on it all if that's helpful. He might not realize what he's not seeing.

This is kind of what I do for a living and that’s certainly part of it but not a complete excuse. Twitter’s new algorithm does fill your timeline with other people’s liked tweets and displays the people’s tweets you do follow out of order by default but it’s usually based on who you follow and who those people follow. Michael doesn’t follow any of the stans so he may be seeing things he’s looking for by way of searching his own name or @ mentions or that the people he follows interacts with (Gaiman, GOmens, Prodigal Son, etc.). Instagram is a completely different beast and I would suggest not using any IP Facebook owns tbh (scary and also yikes) but with twitter it is possible to manipulate results in a way where the more “popular” tweets are more visible. This is currently a HUGE issue being addressed by Twitter to combat how “fake news” spreads by way of bots and fake accounts who take advantage of this. You get a lot of folks tweeting and talking and RT/Liking/Commenting on specific things and those things suddenly start appearing in search results for “michael sheen” or “@/michaelsheen.” If these accounts also are interacting with the people in Michael’s following “circle” he may start to see that content on his TL without searching for it. The point I’m trying to make is they’re essentially manipulating and hijacking results to benefit themselves. Once you start to appear and once Michael interacts with the tweet, it’s then more likely to be displayed to him again on his TL. There’s not a “magic” way to be noticed. You’re either very lucky if Michael is checking his mentions or searches his name OR you’re in this group manipulating results specifically to be seen. 

#Anonymous

[supposed2bfunny]

B,L,A,N,K,E,T for the fanfic ask meme

OMG LISSY THANK YOU SO MUCH?? You indulge me FAR too much

B-What was the first fandom you read fic in?  Which was the first you wrote fic for?

I first read for either Hana-Kimi or Ouran High School Host Club back in the golden days of Fanfiction.net...many moons ago...

I first wrote even before then for Teen Titans. I didn’t know “fanfiction” was a thing, and I just wrote “stories” for my favorite superheroes by hand and illustrated them myself, to be enjoyed by absolutely nobody but me.

L- Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

That’s tough. Probably either “Unacceptable” or “Inarticulate Life,” both of which deal with some heavier subject matter. “OT3″ has also had some darker moments, which can be tough to write sometimes without taking lots of breaks to gather my thoughts and emotions before getting to a final version. It’s not that I can’t write about tougher topics, but rather that I want to make sure the characters speak like themselves while also being respectful of the subject matter (i.e. abusive relationships, sexual misconduct, etc). It can be challenging to strike a balance between handling something in a way that I’m comfortable sharing with readers while also just being in-character.

A-Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

If we’re sticking to what I’ve written more recently on AO3, probably “OT3″ or “Naked,” as they both kind of served as icebreakers for me to meet and befriend a lot of awesome people in the Gorillaz fandom, some of whom have become my closest friends over the course of years. The research and time and effort that has gone into OT3 (and will continue to; it’s on hiatus, but I’m not done with it forever) is probably the most I’ve ever poured into anything fandom-wise.

Looking back even further (if you don’t have my ff.net account, you’re not gonna get it; shit back there is CRINGE), I’m pretty fond of “Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc,” because I wrote a lot of that at a time when I was starting to come into myself as a writer and realize that I wanted to take writing seriously as a profession. Plus I’ll always have a soft spot for Sherlock Holmes sooo

N-Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

I DON’T CARE if no one gives a shit, I’m drafting a JJBA/Vento Aureo Fumis fic that’s gonna be so traumatizing, yo! Mista is dealing with a shit-ton of survivor’s guilt and depression, and Fugo is just an emotional mess on a good day, and they’re gonna be thrown together to topple Passione’s narcotics trade. They’re falling in love, but why the hell aren’t they in therapy? Stay tuned to find out!

Also when that fic has been drafted, I’m seriously hoping to get back into writing “OT3″ again... It’s honestly harder than it sounds to write something when your heart’s not in it, but I’m going to do my best to get back into that mindset once my current hyper-fixation dies down a bit because I know a lot of folks really want to see the story continue (trust me: so do I).

K-Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

Smut. I just read so much smut :( I generally don’t read fics that aren’t M-rated unless they’re exceptionally well-written. The kinkier the better, honestly. I’ve gotta get better about giving other fics a chance...

E- What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

Hmm. Weird answer, but here goes: Mac from Sunny in Philadelphia is one. His toxic relationship with Dennis helped me externalize a bad relationship in my own life, and I really identify with Mac’s need to “protect” and love his friends even when he’s a total coward who hasn’t really sorted his own shit out yet, and even though he knows those friends wouldn’t necessarily do the same for him. I’m not sure that comes across so well in the sole IASIP fic that I’ve written, but I have drafts floating around for a longer fic I doubt I’ll ever get to that really address that aspect of his personality.

My current hyperfixation, JJBA also has me loving Mista, who is similarly, consciously or unconsciously, overly protective of loved ones to the point of self-destruction. That will absolutely shine through in the fics I’m writing for JJBA.

And my Good Omens fic “Upon Your Shoulders” may as well be titled “Beck Projects Intense Self-Loathing onto Aziraphale and Posts it Publicly.” So yeah. That’s really me not even trying to be subtle, to be honest. Aziraphale is just a character that I saw and instantly stanned.

I know I write primarily Gorillaz, but I don’t actually identify with any of them that closely? I just think they’re neat!

T-Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

Anything that uses trauma as the sole means to push two characters together is honestly just :/// like “Character A was sexually assaulted, and their trauma made Character B realize it was time to confess their feelings and now they’re happily together! :)” YUCK. Do not like.

I also generally avoid kidfics (with exceptions--lookin’ at you, Smooty!) because I don’t want kids nor do I want my OTPs to share their time/attention with anyone else, thank you! Unless I personally know and like the author, I skip over anything dealing with kids, adoption, pregnancy, etc.

Anything OC-related is also a no from me, dawg (with exceptions--lookin’ at you, Aaron!) because in case you couldn’t tell, I am there for the OTP I’m hyper-focused on, and don't need any distractions. My unpopular opinion is “why insert an OC when you can just self-project onto a character instead?”

Aside from that, give me all the “there was only one bed :O” or merfolk!AUs or time period!AUs you can--I’ll collect them all gladly.

Thank you so much for the ask, Liss!! This was fun AND you made me open my FF.net page to look at my old stuff. Thanks, I hate it!

#lifeguardinthesharktank #ask meme #seriously thank you for this it was a lot of fun #I have a lot of opinions evidently #ok shut up now beck