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#they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just.
catkin-morgs-kookaburralover
·
6 months
Text
.
#tw suicide
#no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family.
#puddleglum hours
#personal
#its just i was thinking.
#tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night.
#and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed.
#they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just.
#what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here.
#but i don't want to. i need them to save me
#because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in
#hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then.
#at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me!
#but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always.
#i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way.
#hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think.
#because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters
#and sometimes i just want to die.
#im so tired of living guys. why
#editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there
#so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least
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