#they just blast across the floor as a flat little fur tube

[coochiekrab]

what is youre favourite thing about hampsters

It has melted and become slime.

#sorry that’s a reference to a hamster phone app i used to play #but my actual favorite thing about hamsters is when they fucking run across open spaces. they look so fucking funny #they just blast across the floor as a flat little fur tube #and when they use their Nuts as a pilow #and female hamsters smell like chicken bouillon. No one else agrees with me though #they’re normally super quiet but my last hamster was so chatty. he would chirp a few times at night #their little human like hands. the way baby syrians have just little fat faces #i haven’t had a hamster since i was like 16 but i want one so bad #i just have no room for one now….

[j-shute]

Creating a new edible: A Take a Stand/ Iron Man 2 tribute fic.

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AN: Hey there, heard it was a certain handsome Foxxo’s Birthday yesterday, so I thought I’d write him something for it. This is an idea for a Take a Stand/ Iron Man 2 parody I’ve had for a while, so hope you enjoy it, and both your birthday and Christmas. Stay awesome ;)

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Ceartais Bunker.

3.45 years after the Doom incident.

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“I cannae believe this… I cannae believe this!”

All eyes looked on at Olivia, their helpless expressions doing nothing to sate the small mouse’s rage. Nobody knew what to say or how to act, or how on earth they would all get out of this unscathed. And then the two little rodent sized eyes landed on team member Alice Kirabito, the scarred and battle hardened bunny feeling a shiver of dread and fear flash through her. “Tell me,” Olivia said, closing her eyes and her paws scrunching up. “How could ya…”

“Olivia…” she tried to say back.

“I mean how could ya…”

“Please, madame…”

“I mean how could ya cope with these cravings!” she yelled out, before collapsing in on herself in a pile of hormonal angst. A few months ago she’d finally married her old boyfriend Blake, their love rekindled ever since she quit the superhero life. Not soon after came the news that she was pregnant, carrying baby rat-mouse hybrids, or her little rice as she called them. Sadly, while a mouse pregnancy was only twenty days, it seemed that every single high, low, swing, urge and craving felt in a longer term had been concentrated down into that short period.

“I ate taco’s,” Alice said, recounting her own pregnancy.

“And you don’t think I haven’t tried that!?” Olivia screamed out, her paws up and grasping into the air. “My boyfriend is the best chef in Zootopia, and not even he can cook what I want! He says that to get the right tastes, I’d be breaking the laws of food.”

“Listen, I know it is tough,” Alice offered again, “but I know you can stay strong.”

“I don’t think I can…” Olivia confessed, looking forward with a thousand-yard stare and shaking her head. Alice stepped back, looking at the others in the room before shaking her head. Her wife, noted surgeon, socialite and fellow vigilante Luna Wilde, shook hers too. So did team leader Kodi Jones, not even sure his skills at the mystic arts could mollify the insane sounding demands of his predecessor. The other team members: Clara Bloom, Robyn Wilde-Savage, Hannah Wilde-Savage and the AI Bella had no idea how to help. Heck, even their intern, Esso Reese, had no idea. Then again, she mainly worked for them so that they could monitor her mental health, all part of the special insanity plea that they’d helped organise for her after the whole Doom incident.

So, that night, the gang left Olivia with promises to try and think of things to help her out. She left and did her best to keep it together for her husband, putting on a pretty face even as her body demanded the impossible. It was all a bit taxing though so, next morning, she left early, wandering around the base’s labs and store rooms.

It was there that Bella noticed her. “Good Day Olivia,” it chirped, making her groan. “Given your current state, I have scanned through your archive and picked out something that might be of interest for you.”

“Right. Whatever,” she mumbled, hankering after whatever it was again. “Just hand it over.”

To her surprise a screen across the room fizzled to life and, to her shock, a foreign yet familiar face stared out. It was her father. Not Dave or Basil, no… Her old Pa Flaversham, taken so long ago by the villainous Dr Padraic Rattigan. Her turmoil was briefly ceased, cut through by the sad shock as the grandfather her babies would never know twiddle about on screen, talking about how he’d innovated here and there when practicing his hobby of designing toys. And then he looked forward and spoke to her. “Of course, everything’s possible if you put your mind to it,” he said. “And I think that’s true of you too, my dear Olivia.” He cracked a little smile. “I have a feeling that you’re going to be a special little mammal, one who won’t take no for an answer. One who will push through the wee laws that others say exist. One who’ll make the impossible possible. For that, I’ll always be proud of you, my little Olivia.”

Far in the future, Olivia cleared a tear from her eye before breathing in. “Bella,” she shouted, a sudden determination rising from within her.

“Affirmative.”

“Break out the hardware and cue the music, it’s time for a major remodellin’!”

Within minutes heavy rock was blaring out as a whole set of spare spitfire suits assembled. Each one grabbing a heavy sledgehammer, they swung it down on the concrete floor, soon following orders to do it in tune with the base line. Safety goggles on, Olivia marched along a table edge, surveying the work as dust filled the ever vibrating room. She then frowned. “I can do better than that.”

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(1 minute later)

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“CLEAR!” she shouted, before pushing down on a plunger. The whole bunker shook as the rough holes that had been hammered out were blasted open, a central ring of concrete falling through and crashing onto the floor below. The little mouse smiled, rubbing her hands with glee. “That’s how ya do it.”

With that done the mech’s were soon at work again, hauling out equipment and parts from old storage containers, running power lines and supercoolant tubes to where they needed to be and carrying her around so she could see it all. She was with them as they assembled a complex set of magnet arrays, alongside a glass vacuum sphere, an airlock system and several large tanks of compressed deuterium. It was as she held on to a shaking mech suit, busily breaking a new hole through the floor with an electric jackhammer, that Bella notified her of a knock on the door. “Miss Reese is here with the items you requested.”

Ordering her mech to stop and removing her ear defenders, she turned to see the lynx in question just finishing her mocking of Bella’s announcement. “Here’s your stuff,” she grunted, handing over a shopping bag before looking around, her head cocked as she tried to work out just what on earth was going on.

Olivia, having checked that a certain black wrapped item had been provided, laughed. “You have no idea what I’m up to, do you?”

“Yeah, I don’t,” she muttered, pausing as she saw a mech carry a crate to the hole, dropping it down into the arms of one below.

The mouse gave her a wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sharing this with everyone once it’s done.”

…

An hour later, the crazed creation was finally coming together. Out on a table, Olivia and one of the mechs were following a set of recipe books and mixing together some kind of batter. Despite the heavy music and the sound of other mechs working, she still heard someone coming down the steps, turning to see Kodi enter the room.

The wolf looked around, then up at the ceiling. “I heard you broke the floor.”

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “Honestly though, that was three hours ago. Where ya been?”

He looked down at her and shrugged. “You know, doing stuff,” he said, turning to give a nosy at the contents of some of her crates.

“Yeah, me too,” Olivia chirped, gesturing around. “I’m fixin’ that whole cravin’ problem, right here and now. I’m gonna be outta all our furry freak brothers fur for the rest of this pregnancy, as long as ya let me finish here of course.”

She smiled and looked over at the wolf, just as he peered into one of the crates and backed off in shock. In he leant again, pulling out a racoon sized thief’s cane, the ancient wooden shaft tipped with an angular bronze coloured hook, before looking her dead in the eyes. “Olivia. What’s this doing here?”

The mouse looked down at the item in his paws and couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, that’s it! That’s what I need for this. Take it over there.” One of his ears flopping down in confusion, Kodi complied, moving over until another spitfire mech held on to it with him. “Good, now right over there, there…”

He looked up at her sceptically. “You know what this is?”

“It’s exactly what I need to make this work,” she said, as her mech slid it under a large pipe like thing, levering it up between two large drums. “Now drop it.” It all sunk into position, the mech scanning it and giving Olivia a thumbs up. “Get in! Perfectly level! Anyway, as you can see I’m busy, so whatya need?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Goodbye. Hannah, Robyn and I are being reassigned. Director Winters wants us in Sahara square.”

“Fantastic, land of enchantment.”

His ears went down. “If that ‘mummy’ gets its way, yes.”

“Oooh, magic stuff?”

“Potentially,” he said, before giving one last look at her equipment. “Good luck.”

“Yeah, not that I’ll be needing it,” she said cheekily, as she turned up to shake his paw.

“Stay safe,” he said, turning and starting on his way out.

“Tchhh, of course I will!”

Kodi gave a sidelong glance to the cane. “Just be careful around any angry racoon-fox hybrids wanting their heirlooms back.”

Olivia gave the remark a grunt, before getting back to work.

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“Initialising magnetic containment system.”

Olivia, black welding goggles covering her eyes, nodded, waving over one of her mech’s to turn a huge valve. It touched it before a loud clang rang out, several screws flying out onto neighbouring magnets as the machine jittered and stopped responding. The mouse frowned, before ordering over another mech. Keeping its distance, it gently picked up the crippled mech’s legs and lifted them up, using it as a lever to pull open the valve. Up in the vacuum chamber a purple glow began to form as the fusor came to life.

“Approaching maximum power.”

Pressing a large red button, Olivia rubbed her paws in glee as a set of super strong magnets began elevating a batter coated object out of the batter tub and up into the airlock at the base of the fusor. None of it was dripping, instead all held perfectly flat on all sides as the bottom door closed, air quickly pumped out. Then, it rose again into the fusor as the magnetic fields began interfering. Lights began dimming as more power was drawn while the equipment began shaking in place. There was a short spark, then a large one, then a larger one, a blast of lightning suddenly arcing out from one of the superconductors. Downstairs the emergency generator came on, the whole building rumbling, all while nuts and bolts began flying about in the coursing magnetic fields.

Most of the mechs held their positions or backed off, but the one that had first gripped the wheel was torn off, smashing into one of the superconductor banks as the emergency siren began going off. It got louder and louder and louder, the machines smoking and hissing with fire, and then…

It powered down, Olivia shrugging. “Tha’ was easy,” she said, moving her mech to the base of the fusor as what had gone inside dropped out. A rectangle covered in foamy, even, crispy batter, and with a smell that nobody had ever smelt before…

Except of course in the craving addled mind of the mouse looking at it now.

“Congratulations. You have created a new edible.”

Olivia licked her lips. “Cannae change the laws of cooking my ass. One plasma fried mars bar, served right up!”

#Zootopia #take a stand #stars of ceartais #olivia dawson #iron man 2 #parody #funny #birthday gift