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hummus-thumbs · 7 years

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Chapter 1 is done!

Dean heaved himself onto the somewhat disgusting motel bed with a groan. He and Sam had just finished up a particularly grueling hunt involving a pack of werewolves, and he was more than exhausted. “Dude,” he said to Sam, closing his eyes and lacing his fingers together behind his head, “If you went out and got me about five burgers right now, I would owe you big time.” Sam, frowned and furrowed his brow. “You already owe me big time. No way.” “Oh come on, man,” Dean said, sitting back up with a small grunt at the pain in his side and opening his eyes again. “I’ll pay.” When Sam continued to frown incredulously at him, he added, “I’ll pay for next time, too.” Again, no response from Sam, besides a quick breath through his nose, which was presumably his tired version of a laugh. Dean crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at his brother, not even considering the possibility of begging, but also positive that he was going to get Sam to go out and get him a burger one way or another. Finally, after a good ten minutes of bartering and grumbled insults on both sides, Sam begrudgingly agreed to go get them some food, on the condition that Dean will not only pay for the the next three meals they get, but would also let Sam pick out some more healthy options in the future for the both of them. Dean growled something akin to, “fucking rabbit-ass, tree-hugging, hippy piece of crap,” when Sam initially offered the idea, but it was better in his mind than some of the other options before him, such as paying for their next ten meals, so he finally acquiesced. As soon as Sam had left, Dean was back on his back, hands behind his head, lightly humming Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi, and thoroughly enjoying the peaceful silence and semi-comfortable bed. He had been laying like that for about five minutes and was just dozing off, when he was suddenly and forcefully disturbed from his solace. Seemingly out of nowhere burst into Dean’s head the most vivid fantasy of him and Cas going at it in the back of the Impala. His eyes popped open, and he sat up fast enough to give himself a head rush. “What the-” Dean murmured out loud, his head reeling. He had never thought of Cas like that before. Yes, he knew that shit, “Destiel,” or whatever existed; Sam didn’t hesitate to remind him of it any chance he got, but he had honestly let even the possibility cross his mind. He was heterosexual, and Cas was an angel, whom he assumed to be asexual. And with the life they lived, it would just never work out, even if by some weird turn of events they started having feelings for each other. Dean couldn’t fathom where those thoughts had come from, and he switched on the TV quickly, trying to drive all thoughts of it out of his head. And yet his mind was definitely drawn back to it, running the fantasy over and over in his mind. He didn’t find it particularly arousing, especially considering he and Cas had both been using some pretty rookie moves, and the entire scene had been pretty disjointed. Finally, he gave up trying to distract himself with the TV and picked himself up off the bed to make his way over to where Sam’s laptop sat on the other, equally gross bed. If there was one way he knew of to get his mind off something, it had to be bustyasianbeauties.com. The screen was quickly filled with voluptuous Asian lovelies, and soon all thoughts of him and Cas were completely gone.

A couple of days later, Dean and Sam were back home in the bunker, and Dean hadn’t had any other unwanted gay porn forced upon him since the werewolf hunt. Being a normal human being, he hadn’t mentioned anything about the experience to Sam, and he’d honestly forgotten that it had even happened in the first place. Until it happened again, that is. He had been asleep for long enough to have a kind of weird dream about adopting a cat and it trying to eat the Impala, when it was like the channel was suddenly changed, and Dean’s dream went from that normal, vague haziness that most dreams consist of to a sharp and clear scenario consisting mostly of Cas, Dean, a Chinese chair, and some whipped cream. Yet again, Dean was jolted back to the land of the conscious, but as it tends to be with dreams, though in the outside world he may have woken up in a split second, he had to experience a good thirty minutes of the dream. He awoke with a shudder and a grimace, pulled himself out of his bed and to the bathroom, and washed his face, refusing to make eye contact with himself in the mirror. He couldn't quite make himself look into his own eyes, and he was sure if anyone had walked in on him at that moment, especially Cas, he wouldn't have been able to make eye contact with them either. His mind was reeling. He kept repeating to himself I am straight. I'm a straight man. I like hot chicks. I am hetero-fucking-sexual. He closed his eyes, leaned forward with his hands steadying himself to the sink, and let out a tired sigh. "Fuck it," he murmured to himself and with that, forced the thoughts torturing him fizzle out. When his head was finally clear, he padded back to his room, eyes still mostly shut, and plopped back onto his bed.

He awoke the next morning and was greeted by the thoughts he had somehow been able to shut up the night before, back in full force. He plodded into the kitchen to look for something to eat, all the while silently picking through every possible reason he could have had the dreams. He was staring blankly into the refrigerator and pondering whether he there were any witches he might have pissed off lately, when the patter of footsteps alerted him someone was going to be joining him in a hot minute. He decided to pull rank over his thoughts again and felt the troublesome questions and comments section of his brain which had been blaring at him melt into the bland, quiet thoughtlessness he was used to from his brain in the early morning. "Hey man," Sam's voice came from behind him, and Dean turned to see his brother in what looked like a dark blue tracksuit. Dean grimaced, murmured a short, "Really?", and turned back to his inspection of the mostly empty fridge. Dean couldn't see Sam's face, but he felt himself being scowled at and could hear the irritation in Sam's gait as he made his way into the war room. Dean finally gave up on finding something actually good to eat, and opted instead for a beer from the half empty six pack. He made a mental note to make a run for some more later in the day, because if the day kept on at this rate, he was going to need it. He followed Sam into the war room and noticed that Cas was sitting across the table from his brother and seemed to be explaining to him something or other about quantum mechanics. Great, Dean groaned internally, then forced something as near a smile as he could (which ended up just being his normal, resting bitch face), and sat in the chair nearest him. "What're you doin' here, Cas?" he queried, trying to keep up the normal eye contact held by the two of them, but quickly averting his eyes as images of his most recent fantasy filled his mind. Those eyes; he'd never really noticed just how piercingly blue they were. He shuddered and tried to force the thoughts back out of his head and retain his composure, but apparently Cas wasn't a moron, because noticed Dean's uncomfortable expression and asked, "Are you all right, Dean? You look distressed." Dean stifled a sigh, took a draw from his beer, and unconvincingly said, "I'm fine." Cas' eyes narrowed, but he didn't pursue the subject any further, instead choosing to explain his presence at the bunker. A few words stood out to Dean, like 'tulpa' and 'time-traveller', but for the most part, he phased out and let his mind wander aimlessly, hoping Sam could give him the footnotes later. He was finding it hard to listen to Cas without looking at his eyes, but every time he stared into those sapphires his mind was brought forcefully back to how he had seen them that night, piercing him to his very core before fluttering closed as their lips met in a--No! "Oh God," Dean breathed out, lowering his face to his hands. "Dean?" Cas' gravelly voice was full of concern. Dean just stood up and walked quickly out of the room, muttering something about needing to pee.

"That was weird," Sam said, looking from where his brother had just exited the room over to where Cas was sitting. Somewhat to his surprise, he saw Cas stand and begin to follow his brother's trail out of the room. "I'm going to check on him," Cas explained and like that, Sam was by alone. He made a little angry face, then returned to smoothie had been nursing and thought, Whatever.

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#destiel #fanfic #supernatural #i live for destiel smut #please affirm me #i try

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