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#they already do but in a relationship itd be tenfold
floorpancakes · 1 year
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im having thoughts about gay people again
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#xxxholic#douwata#listen i have a lot to think about i always think abt them theres so much to discuss#if they had one confessional conversation it would all be over doumeki would die but not literally this time#i love the rarely discussed thing which is like 'sure watanuki is a blushing tsundere nerd loser BUT he could have the upper hand'#the element of surprise....the element of actually acting on all the boldness hes acrued but never actually committed to in canon#if he had any sort of healthy natural growth that wasnt affected by The Situation itd b over for that poor man#its like an explosion if either of them act on their feelings the other will just be like a human firework tbh#i love the idea of a potential relationship of theirs being just as much about revenge game 4d chess tactics#as much as it is goofy or serious or tender#then again im the type to view positive friendships in my real life that way so i naturally enjoy it in fictional relationships#but like#you have a tsundere who was trained in the art of being a seductress#and you have a more outspoken bolder type with strong conviction in his romantic feelings but also an expectation of it being unfulfilled#they have strengths and weaknesses that counteract each other greatly for the game of taking each other aback#they already do but in a relationship itd be tenfold#they also each have enough smugness in them to propel it to the next levek#imagine them constantly trying to one each other up#he who blushes first loses (but wins the consolation prize of a REALLY cute relationship)#heh ...all the excellent fic fuel if i could write fic without getting distracted panicking abt lore inconsistencies or cringing at myself#not for the act of writing fic i just find it tricky to like my own longform writing#but i wANNAAAAAAAA
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lbukisgf · 9 months
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budo masuta, umeji kizuguchi geiju tsuka: how they love you <3
(alt title: love languages!!)
— gn!reader, implied relationship, tooth-rotting fluff, very mild angst w/comfort. not proofread. (maybe some slight favoritism in length 😭)
budo masuta: acts of service and quality time (with a sprinkle of physical touch)
listen; this man is probably whipped for you.
he’d do just about anything for you
you want bento to take to school? he’s on it! (PLEASE DONT LET HIM COOK)
you need help with carrying something or as simple as schoolwork? it’s already done.
he loves being in your presence just as much as doing things for you.
your presence is the most surreal, comforting and loving thing for him; so much so that it’s distracting at times.
it usually results in some small hugs and kisses (even a make out session)
he’s the kind of lover that’d bend over backwards just to move heaven and hell, the stars and the moon; all if you asked him to.
umeji kizuguchi: physical touch and words of affirmation.
after all the bullying he’s endured, the slightest of touches and the smallest of compliments make him fall apart.
holding his hand while you’re walking home together? he’s blushing.
you call him pretty and the sweetest boy ever? he is absolutely blushing.
he loves when you hug him while thanking him for literally anything (bonus points if you kiss him!!)
he’ll give you a hug, kiss, or the sweetest blanket of words he can think of if you ask, he mostly does it randomly; leaving you speechless at times .
he’s the type of lover to reciprocate the love you give to him, but give it back tenfold.
he just wants to keep you happy, and he loves you enough to all of his sacrifice his time for you.
even if he ‘complains’ about it.
geiju tsuka: quality time & words of affirmation
another one for the “this man is whipped for you pile” just less obvious
he’s so in love with you, it tends to seep into his art.
(headcanon that maybe geiju secretly has a bunch of small sketches of you and has been wanting to give them as a gift but thinks itd be too awkward so he just has a whole box of them)
he loves having you close to him while he paints, thinks it’s the most relaxing and comforting thing ever
he absolutely adores when you tell him how great of an artist he is- it has a heavy affect on him. (the kind only you have)
he’s a man of few words, but it doesn’t stop him from saying the sweetest of things to you.
(it can range from the most adorable things to him being a smug fucker)
sometimes if you’re lucky, he’ll be in his art studio, painting a picture of you; giving you the perfect opportunity to tease him with your sweet words.
— the end.
note: massive shoutout to the yansim discord server for giving me this idea + characters to write for this!!
lbukisgf Ⓒ 2023
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survivor-kalymnos · 4 years
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Ep. 3 - “They gotta realize that we are running shit here!!” - Franaco
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Elle
The plan went off without a hitch. Now that Frank is gone, Sasha is the clearest person to be next on my alliance's radar because they are the least active out of themselves and Maxyne. Plus, I like Maxyne so I want to do everything that I can to keep them in this game. I hope it does not come down to the alliance of 6 versus Maxyne because I do not want to send Maxyne home. I hope that situation will not be something that we have to do deal with. For now, I want everyone to get along and win this next challenge which I have faith in our tribe in.
Elle
Sometimes it sucks not being me because now I cannot dictate my whole tribe on the timing of the challenge. I would like to know when the challenge is being done because I want to actually win it. Also, why did Van disappear off the face of the Earth? I am literally so fucking frustrated with this entire tribe. Could you guys please get your shit together? I am begging you!!!! At the very least we have an easy vote out next tribal in the form of Sasha. I do not think anyone is really aligned with them, so I think they would be an easy vote off. I just do not want to have to vote out Maxyne any time soon and going to tribal increases those odds tenfold. I cannot be the guesser because I am bad at it, but if you are going to volunteer for a position then at least have the decency to tell us your availability. God.
Michele
Finding nemo...more like finding gregg
Rain
So! I just participated in immunity for the round. I will say... knowing that I was kinda at the whim of the people whether I got things right or not? Feels fucking great. I can’t be to blame if we lose. Only everyone else for saying forbidden words. APPARENTLY Lenny is already planting seeds of vote Gregg out which, as I mentioned in my last confession, I wouldn’t be horridly upset about. To ice the cake, Gregg wasn’t super around for the challenge, so... womp womp. I’m super happy with the names alliance - it’s just 4 pals vibing, bullying each other lightly. Out of the four, id probably say Franco is my favorite? We just mesh the most. I wouldn’t hate having a finale pact with them but it’s WAY too early game to talk about that outside of this safe little box. See you after results!
Tristin
So I hope we can win the challenge!! I tried really hard but I threw out some of disallowed words and got our tribe some negative points! I think that Rain was a great guesser and did some good work because I would have flopped lol.
Franco
Taboo is my new fave survivor challenge. That shit was so chaotic. But also so fun. Lenny is now planting seeds about Gregg not participating and sis.... that's just tea. Gregg hasn't been around a lot and doesn't seem like mUCH of a team player. I'm sure if we lose we're going to have another unanimous vote against him. But Lenny was also planting seeds about Rain round 1, so we'll see what comes to fruition! Either way Lenny is planting seeds and I am LIVING for it. 
Lenny
Okay so gregg did not contribute at all to that challege. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Communication is everything when it comes to this game. If you choose to or not to, says a lot about you as a player. I’ve been intentional with how much I’ve interjected or shared. Now I am deciding if I want to make alliances this week.
elle
My tribe has to be a little dumb because we had three instances of illegal words. My eyes are rolling so hard. It ain't that hard to not use a word jeez
cranjes
i swear to god if there’s a swap and i get swapfucked at least i have my idol. i like my 6 person alliance and i hope that we survive whatever is gonna happen
Franco
we lost :( sad :( oh well I actually don't care. I'm almost certain I'm not in any danger, I have strong connections with the tribe and I feel like this vote should be another unanimous one. Everything is falling into place. Gregg should be the vote and literally everyone else has said that. I'm starting to get bored in this game, but I gotta calm down. When I get bored I get messy, and I'm in such a good place in this game I can't afford that right now. I'm just gonna chill with the strategy stuff and try to establish more prominent social connections, that will calm down my need to do something
Dusty
Holy shit we just killed that challenge!! I volunteered to be the guesser,  and it looks like my Catchphrase skills have finally payed off. I think that after this tribal there will be a swap, which should be nervewracking but im ready to take this on! I need some more excitement in this game. Right now i feel the best with Erick, Cranjes, and Fae. Going into a swap or expansion our tribe has higher odds of being in majority on each tribe, so i am not too nervous. I've still got my half of the super idol that Erick gave to me, so we have to scout out now for who might have it. Me and erick spoke and i think we are both willing to work with the other tribe if it means being on the side with the super idol power.
Elle
Sasha is a very hard person to socialize with. It is as if no matter what I say they will always just respond with one or two words. They never start conversations, only finish them with their short and curt responses. That attribute could be useful as a goat later on, but I am just having a hard time justifying working with them when I have a solid alliance and actually fun conversations with other people. They could be an easy vote no matter what tribe I am on, however. This is important because I feel that there is a swap coming soon. This scares me because my game right now is very much on the social aspect which takes time and effort. I would need someone really inactive or really bad at challenges on my tribe to have guaranteed safety in a tribal council on a swapped tribe. I just hope that my tribe has majority in OG Plati members when I swap does come.
Fae
A lot happened. We won the challenge Someone found out that the idol has been found (although that was last round lol) I told none of them it was me because I honestly don’t trust anyone. Haha I love trust issues. Probably a swap next round. Ooo almost put the wrong round. Haha 
cranjes
dusty raised concerns about van and honestly i feel the same. van is very like shallow in conversation and is loyal to the six for now, but definitely has further plans that don’t involve us all in them.
Franco
So Eliza and I were talking, and being the Survivor Social and Strategic Superstars that we are, decided itd be smart to split votes this round. If gregg has an idol we don't want him deciding who goes to redemption. We have a clear unanimous tribe consensus and majority, why not split votes? Right? Makes sense? Very obvious survivor strategy? Yes? Then? Why are? Rain and michele? Not understand?? Ing?? Why?? We wanna split?? Votes?? It just makes sense!! It's obvious!! Rain is scared of overplaying and ruffling feathers but..... We literally have a clear majority. They gotta realize that we are running shit here!! We are not putting ourselves at risk, its just a safety net!! 
Eliza
Dear diary... So we lost, am I surprised? Absolutely not, but shit happens. So obviously we all want gregg, Gregg didn’t help in the challenge as much as everyone else and no one really has any relationships or connections with them. But the weird thing is, this vote feels too easy, not the good kind of too easy where everyone agrees and all that’s left is the person trying to save themselves, no. Gregg disappears from dms when tribal is brought up and is very calm, they haven’t thrown out names or anything, just kinda there and it’s stressing Franco and I out because on top of that Rain AND Worm both said that there’s an empty spot in idol hunt cause someone found something, I’m right with people but wouldn’t be surprised if someone had something and didn’t tell me. But I think it’s very likely that the reason gregg is calm is cause he has an idol, Franco and I then decided that because we have numbers and would like some reassurance us two would throw our votes on Lenny, making it a 5-2-1 vote so that way if gregg plays an idol he doesn’t get the sole vote deciding who leaves, look. I love lenny, she’s very sweet but I’d rather her than someone in the Elizance (rain renamed it). We Franco and I brought up the idea (without making it seem like we had already decided on it) rain for some reason really was against it, Franco and I had no clue why and we still have no clue why, I mean we have numbers so we might as well split vote while we can. The worst think that could happen is if gregg doesn’t have an idol and that’s not even a bad thing???? Like we don’t get why rain is so adamant about it being a 7-1 vote, but there’s something about how stubborn they are about it that I just can’t trust.
Van
We won the challenge! I feel bad that I wasn’t able to participate very much because of my appointment, but I’m still proud of my tribe! However, Jay’s last line about making sure you’re around after tribal is sketchy to me. With Jay as a host, you never know what’s going to happen.
Rain
We lost immunity. Immediately after - and even, per my last confession, before results - Gregg’s name was coming out. And we lost, so people jumped on that boat. My GENIUS allies (Recap: Elizance - Eliza, Franco, Michelle, and moi) are like “Mmm, the inactive going home feels too easy.” And to be fair, they’re right! I am an anxious bitch! So we’re attempting a 5-2-1, in case gregg pulls an idol. But here’s my thing. EVERYONE is pushing Gregg. Lenny especially. I wouldn’t be surprised if: -Someone in my alliance is a liar and they’re sending either myself or Michele home with the help of Lenny, Tristan, Worm and Gregg (Eliza and Franco, ily, but y’all volunteered to vote for Lenny) - Lenny, Gregg, and two mysterious others are working together and by splitting our vote we are fucking one of our own home - Everyone pulls an idol and we all go to rocks!!! Because rocks love me!!!!! What can I say? I am anxious. It won’t be over until it’s over, and until then, imma keep taking my pepacid, thanks. 
RAin
So! I know I just confessed, but I’m here again. I had a REALLY good conversation with Worm tonight! We’d been sort of playing notification tag and FINALLY we chatted and we actually connected. I’m super sus at everyone being like “owo I want us to move forward in this game together owo” but I’m not gonna complain until like, I actually get voted off. I don’t want to be seen as a threat. But I think I can hide behind Franco and Eliza for now- they will be early winners picks, I’m certain, but I bet they’ll be mid merge. People will see they’re threats from their social and challenge ability and it’s bye bye birdie!!! I’m thinking too much for round 2. But yeah. TL;DR - Worm and I are pals; I trust nobody; I will absolutely flip on my main allies. 
Elle
I am not particularly interested in searching the other tribe's idol hunt because I do not want to draw suspicion towards me. But, there is probably nothing left for me in my tribe's idol hunt because someone has already found the idol probably. Who knows? Maybe I will find an extra vote or something.
lenny
if Gregg goes tonight, that is my doing. I think I've been playing a social game (maybe under the radar, maybe not). After the challenge yesterday, I immediately messaged most of the tribe and was like "is Gregg still playing? I didn't really see them contribute."  Hopefully, this read as genuine to my tribemates. But, really, I knew the answer to my own question and was trying to set Gregg up as a target for tonight.  From my understanding, most people are voting out him. Outside of this game, I really hope Gregg is doing okay because he has not been speaking or online much. Sending well wishes to him. Unfortunately, this is survivor and I came here to PLAY.
cranjes
kinda wanna be a snake and blindside van somehow bc no talk talk to alliance members means snuff snuff of the torch 
Worm
So this round is a very interesting one because of the possibility of a looming swap is weighing on everyone's minds. For me, this possibility does streamline my decision making in this point of the game to make choices that will keep as many people on my side. Everyday this game goes on more and more people tell me that the want to work with me in this game. I might not be in any tight alliances yet but all I need is people wanting to work with me and give me information for me to navigate successfully through this game. Gregg being the vote this round does make me kind of sad. I feel like the two of us were growing closer but when someone isn't creating connections with anyone else then it makes it difficult for people to not vote for you in this point of the game. So my plan is just to bunker down and vote with the majority with the hope of a swap happening soon. What has  me concerned is that Franco and Eliza want to split the vote and have the two of vote for Lenny. I know they are both are worried that Gregg has an idol and that has them freaking out. I think the only reason that I'm not worried about it is that I don't he would even throw a vote on me so I feel like I would be safe no matter what. I told Franco that he should do it and not tell Lenny with the idea that it is better to ask for forgive than it is for permission. I hope he does this so it stirs the pot up and creates some tension between them and keeps me out of the spot light. I,m just wish that there is a swap soon.  I want more options in this game and feel as though I have the ability to maneuver through it better.
Tristin
https://youtu.be/9gGxirhL-dk
Rain
So I just had a good, long chat with Gregg. I’m not changing my vote, but I feel more connected to it now, and tbh I feel more certain that whoever he votes for won’t be me. Sorry to my allies - I told him he was getting votes tonight, if he has an idol we have a plan. If he doesn’t then at least someone told him and he doesn’t feel like nobody cared. I genuinely hope he does well on redemption - I think with the good rapport, we could work together if he does. I feel bad. But hopefully everything goes to plan. 
Maxyne
Okay so, I'm a whole idiot and half. I feel like I'm lowkey falling apart and it all my fault. First of all, the idol hunt was a mess. Just as I predicted someone found the fucking idol and I was too late. I knew everyone was fucking lying when everyone was like "oh boo hoo I'm so bad at this" girl shut the fuck up. You're appropriating my culture of someone who is ACTUALLY a fuck-up. Everyone here is mad fake on this shit and I fuckin knew they would be. YES I KNOW IT'S AN ALIAS GAME THAT'S NOT THE POINT! The point is that once again I was stupid enough to have hope when I should've not even bothered after the second round. Someone always finds the idol within the first day and the hosts just watch my dumbass run around thinking I have a chance, i truly hate it here. Not to mention them nosy bitches on the other tribe lookin through our shit which I still don't know how they did so I'm probably never gonna figure it out and when I do it'll be too late. I'm legit upset like why am I such a flop??? Anyways... My tribe won immunity recently so there's no need to scramble this round. Although I feel like I still really need to work on my social game. Recently, I've sort of receded a bit in terms of interactions. I think it might be because of the fact that I'm in self isolation and I have no where to go. Also I'm generally kind of avoiding everything right now. idk why but I am and i hate it. I need to start shining again. Also the announcement about how we all should be online for the tribal... we're all speculating that it's a swap and that's what I'm expecting. But I think we might swap and have a one world scenario. It was in the rules that it might be a possibility and with people searching each other's tribes for idols, I think a one world swap might be expected at this point. Who knows, I might be wrong, I usually am about everything :/
maynor
Jay. Eliza is ellie. :p time for me to die.
cranjes
can someone beat frank k thanks
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rosetthorns · 5 years
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yeah idek how to like start this
but ive been thinking about this for awhile
and i only feel like you care about me when we're physically together
which like is for a few reasons
one isnt really your fault at all but its kindof context and u already know a lot of this but i didnt know how to bring it up again without being needy and its hard for me to talk about this so i hope u appreciate me being open
i have anxiety, like i dont mean that in the whole like "im special" type thing we talked about, i just genuinely probably have ptsd from my mom thing (which i dont talk about in depth a whole lot) and it just in general makes me more overthinky than i should be about certain things, like to the point of panic attacks
and one of those things is relationships wooooo but idk i realize people get like stressed when they care about stuff but the amount of panic attacks i have like tenfolds when i care about someone
its hard for me to like believe that someone genuinely likes me and wont leave me at a given moment. like really hard. probably because of how many times ive gotten shitted on the same way. and that also makes it really hard to be affectionate and open because a. people have always "left" after i was more affectionate or open with my feelies and b. it just sucks when u give a lot to a person and things don't work out. a lot of times i will stress over being too much or too little and like it takes over my brain and i convince myself im being both at the same time and im not loved blablabla. im getting better at recognizing when im doing it but when i get like that it's hard to get outof it other than just letting it pass and im kindof awful to ppl around me when im like that and it just sucks.
but like theres that
and then so to like gauge how affectionate i can be with someone i try to like start at the bottom and work my way up and like if they reciprocate or respond well i move up and if they dont then i move back down but like
you dont reciprocate or recieve well to anything except physical
what i mean is likeeee
when i try to say something cute ur like "thats kinda gay" or when i say "i miss you" you dont say it back or something similar or you seem uncomfortable when i compliment you or you just dismiss it and then you hardly if ever do any of that yourself
and idk if its because you feel the same way about being open and showing someone how you feel or if thats just how you act or what but it like makes me feel like. bad.
like i cant express how i feel about you or you dont like it when i do which sucks bc verbally is part of the main ways i show people i care about them. its kindof like me kissing you and then you not kissing back :/
and ive kindof been bottling this bc i was hoping itd just pass but like us not talking as much (which i get bc we're noth busy) is just making it worse so i thought id address it
and im not asking you to like force affection, i dont want like anything to be fake or forced bc that just sucks, and i know how too much can be smothering i just want you to keep in mind that words are important to me and dismissing that kind of affection hurts mee
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