#there's no shame in longing for owen who is so obviously bi

[tdnoco]

Noco and Me

noco scratches a particular itch in my brain see, when i was in higschool i had a gay crush on my straight best friend. and even though we had been friends for Years, because of my crush, i would never hug her. it felt like i’d be... imposing myself on her. i was always worried i’d make her uncomfortable. that it’d be predatory or smth. i was so worried about being rejected and also so sure that i was stupid for even having these feelings for someone who was Straight, and yet also desperately hoping that i’d be wrong, and she Wasn’t straight after all. and that’s a big reason i like noco. if we look at that sleeping kiss scene, yes it’s a joke, but it was also one of my worst nightmares. that i’d accidentally let myself go, that i’d do something horrid and unconsensual. (i never did, and i also don’t believe that noah had any longing for cody before that scene.) but still, the scene represents that fear. A gay accident that feels like being Outed, that affects somebody “Straight.” i still can’t watch that scene without skipping it, without cringing, without feeling embarassed. but if you look at what happened to noah afterwards - he wasn’t punished. Cody didn’t treat him with fear or anger or anything. In fact, Cody doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t bring it up, he doesn’t demand apologies (though it would be in his right too). It seems like he genuinely doesn’t mind, that he understood it was an accident. He holds no ill will...and i don’t know. To me that feels so... kind. Maybe this betrays my lack of standards, but for this guy to just effortly brush off noah’s gay mistake and not be mean about it... feels so generous.  Noah is not barred from hanging out with Cody, he’s not ostracized. Nothing happens. In fact, Cody minds so little about this incident, that he falls asleep near/with Noah again. Like Cody just cares so little. Like - Noah isn’t uninvited from the sleepover even after the incident. And that just feels so welcoming. I don’t know - noco just really assauges my gay fears. Also because Cody like... looks/feels straight, I can project my own conflicted feelings of pining for someone I can’t have onto Noah. (who is just very easy to project onto in general)

#td noco #very personal #this is the post i come back with huh #i just needed to say it because i've been thinking about it for the past few days #this is also a reason i don't ship nXwen #because owen already likes noah #there's no shame in longing for owen who is so obviously bi #perhaps that says smth about me #that i'd rather recreate my past troubles #and give noco the happy ending i never got #then move on to smth more plausible #ehh #does that mean i'd stop shipping noco if i got some bitches #lmao #probably not #i like noco too much for that #and there's more to noco then just This #so i'd still ship it i think

[lambert-simnel]

just showed the first three episodes of Torchwood to my best mate while he recovers from top surgery because now I have a captive audience for my insanity

long fucking post of my opinions under the cut

First of all the audio stings and sound track and burned into my fucking frontal cortex I watched it for the first time 3 years ago and the moment i heard it again I was like yeah this is all i’m gonna hear for months now

I honestly remembered it as worse than it is, first ep is not super batshit, the dialogue is insane but well written, my friend was like “why did you think i wouldn’t like this??”

also to add to my Owen bullshit i had completely forgotten his fucking gay kiss moment in episode 1?? like why do they never revisit this like I know we joke about how every character is bi but he is the first character confirmed as bi and then he just never gets to make out with dudes again?? (also yeah that scene completely unethical like massive date rape vibes I am aware) my friend really liked Susie which was a shame lol seeing as she doesn’t stick around but anyway

He actually really enjoyed the sex gas ep like all the stuff with the girl purposefully using the alien sex murder to kill her shitty ex boyfriend my friend was like “jennifer’s body could never” like we do joke about this ep a lot but it is interesting. my friend also didn’t think the complete hornyness was bad like he said that it’s about being in your 20’s so it works. I honestly remembered it being a lot more immature around sex and now i’m actually in my 20’s i’m like no i know people like this, it’s like being a horny teenager but with a lot less angst around sex this kinda makes sense.

What I will say is I had forgotten how many unsolicited sexual comments people make especially Jack and Owen it’s definitely a product of it’s time in that regard especially as Owen is treated as a fuck boy but Jack is “charming”. Obviously episode 3 is kinda Owen realising he’s part of the problem so like early character development yay but yh I did get worried showing it to my friend while i’m soft launching him as my new blorbo of the week lol.

anyway, i was pleasantly surprised that i remembered it as worse than it is and that my friend is now hopefully going to be as insane as I am about this and it’s fuelling my anger about what happened to Tosh and Owen.

they are so prevalent in the early episodes, Owens gets basically his own episode in episode 3!! Ianto barely shows up until obviously ep 4 is cyberwoman and it was probably intentional to have him fade into the background early on so he’s more secretive but still??

like I remember so clearly being confused about how little screen time he got and how much Tosh and Owen got when I knew he was in the doctor who crossover so I knew he was a big deal, it just fucking sucks that Tosh and Owen were clearly major characters from day one and they just get dropped for Gwen and Ianto later on !!

#long post #torchwood #bbc torchwood #doctor who #torchwood spoilers