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mothman-clarice-2 · 4 years

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A Rant/Essay about Moira and Sigma and how they’ve changed my life

Hi so I am in a very very very good mood right now and I really want to rant about some things I love.

As my followers may know very well by now, I LOVE Overwatch. Specifically I LOOOVE Moira and Sigma. I less so have a special interest in Overwatch and more so in those specific characters.

Quick thing for those who don’t know, a special interest is a term used by people under the Autism spectrum to describe a subject or thing they have a very strong personal connection to.

I have recently discovered I have Aspergers syndrome, a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects the person’s ability to socialize and causes them to have repetitive and restrictive behaviors and/or interests. Basically it’s very similar to Autism but there are some slight differences that differentiate the two that I won’t go into here because it’ll take too long, but you can research them yourself if you want to of course.

This has been a HUGE discovery for me because I have known I was very different from other people for a long time but I had no idea why. This discovery explains EVERYTHING. I finally understand why I have such a hard time communicating with people and why I have such unusual tendencies (such as becoming hyper-fixated on things I like). This relates to my love of Moira and Sigma.

In Overwatch, Moira O’Deorain is a brilliant Irish geneticist on the cutting edge of her field. She has made numerous revolutionary advancements in genetic technology and manipulation. She has devoted her life to her work and advancing the Human race as a species. However, she has a very dark side to her achievements. She has achieved her discoveries by disregarding all ethics and morality in her experiments. She has experimented on everything from animals to herself to even other humans. She has performed experiments on herself that have left her permanently disfigured (her right arm). She has performed experiments on people that have permanently changed their bodies in agonizing ways (Reaper). She believes that ethics are holding back scientific advancement and that they are a waste of time. Pretty horrible right? I wouldn’t blame you for calling that evil. However, you can’t say she is absolutely evil.

Yes what she has done is horrible and she is completely morally bankrupt, but she also does what she does because she wants to help people. She does what she does because it’s for the betterment of the world. And it has made the world better! In the lore, she has made numerous revolutionary advancements in genetic technology! She is an absolute genius who is helping better the world in massive ways! But at the same time, she is hurting other people to get there. That is the epitome of complete moral ambiguity.

And I LOVE that.

You can’t say she’s completely good because she hurts people and disregards ethics as a waste of time. But you also can’t say she evil because she has made revolutionary scientific discoveries that could save the lives of millions.

I love Moira not just because she is a complex character but I also relate to her on numerous levels.

For one, she is Irish and I have a lot of Irish heritage. I adore my Irish culture and I love how she seems to be passionate about it as well given that she is fluent in Gaelic (our ancient language which is actually dying out) and she has a lot of Irish oriented stuff in the game. She has actually really caused me to get invested in my Irish heritage and learn about my culture. Another thing I relate to is that she has a great appreciation for art and is just generally pretty eccentric. She loves dressing up and cosplaying and art and music and all of these different things that I also love.

One of the biggest reasons I relate to her though is her lack of ability to understand people’s emotions. I am a very empathetic person but at the same time I have a very hard time connecting to people. I have always had trouble interacting with people and making friends because I don’t understand how people normally communicate. From what I have seen, Moira is like that too. She doesn’t seem to really have any friends (she was sorta friends with Gabriel but that was more of a business friendship) and everyone seems to either hate her or thinks she’s creepy or weird. I headcanon that Moira is high functioning autistic because of her lack of empathy and difficulty understanding people’s emotions.

Obviously I am not saying autistic people are unempathetic sociopathic mad scientists, far from it actually. People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) can either be very empathetic or they can lack empathy to varying degrees on both sides. Sometimes they are just as empathetic as everybody else. Everyone under the autism spectrum is completely different. I just think Moira is one of the people who lacks empathy to a very high degree. I think Moira having autism that causes her to lack empathy is a very good explanation for her beliefs and how she behaves, not to mention it’s something I relate to.

As for Sigma, he’s a different character entirely.

Siebren de Kuiper (pronounced “Ki-per” with “Ki” as in “kite”) is a brilliant Dutch astrophysicist. He is known for being a very eccentric introvert with a brilliant mind and a deep, fiery passion for his work. He performed an experiment that would’ve revolutionized technology by being able to harness the power of a black hole but it went terribly wrong. The accident left him completely traumatized and his psyche destroyed. This accident also gave him the ability to control gravity but I’m not really gonna talk about that in this because it’s not really necessary.

Sigma has a lot of anxious tendencies, for example he has numerous voice lines where he becomes anxious or panicked. He says the phrase “hold it together” many times, a phrase he uses to try and comfort himself when he feels panicked. All of these have caused me to headcanon that he has PTSD and/or some other kind of anxiety disorder (although I haven’t decided which one yet).

I personally have struggled with generalized anxiety and social anxiety for a long time so I find myself relating to his anxiety. Something about seeing this 62 year old absolute GIANT of a man (he’s 8′1″) having anxiety and relating to me in so many ways is really comforting.

Whenever I am sad or anxious about something, I think of Sigma and I channel my fears through him. I do that a lot actually, not just with anxiety but with other emotions as well. Whenever I am really really happy about something, I think of Sigma and Moira. Whenever I’m depressed, I think about Sigma and Moira. I channel all of my emotions through these characters by acting out scenes in my head, imagining scenarios with them, or drawing them. Sometimes when I’m sad I’ll imagine Moira and Sigma in happy scenarios to cheer myself up.

These characters, these fictional things from a video game, have had such an important impact on me I can’t even begin to describe it. I connect with these characters so deeply and so personally.

I found myself connecting to them mostly during quarantine. This was the time when I was the loneliest I had ever been in my life. I was the most stressed and depressed I had ever been. I had lost a close family member and two beloved pets in a very short span of time. On top of this, I had no friends. I was completely downtrodden and lost. Then I decided to start playing Overwatch again, and everything started to change.

I fell back in love with Moira more than ever and I found a brand new love for Sigma. I felt more connected to these characters than I ever would've because I had pretty much nobody else to connect to. These characters became my strongest coping mechanism and, in a way, my imaginary friends. I channeled all of my anxieties and sadness and grief and loneliness through them. I used them to help me grieve my loved ones. At the same time, I channeled my joy and pride and passions through them. These characters give me comfort when I need it most. That is something so special I can’t even begin to describe it. I love these characters with every single fiber of my heart and soul. They have been my greatest coping mechanism in these extremely tumultuous times. They helped me find actual friends for the first time in years, friends who I have been able to relate to and who love me despite my odd quirks and behaviors.

These fictional characters, these video game models, these lines of code, they have helped me survive my darkest days and enriched my brightest moments. These characters have fundamentally changed my life.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Thank you Overwatch. Even though your fanbase can be one of the most toxic things I have ever seen, you have given me friends and two characters that kept me going when life was trying its hardest to keep me down. You have really shown me the power of fiction and its ability to change lives. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

And thank you to whoever is still reading this. Seriously, I can’t believe you actually had the patience to listen to me ramble for so long about something so specific to me. It’s frankly incredible and I have endless respect for you. Your attention span is literally god-like if you were able to read through all this and I wanna thank you for blessing me with your priceless time and attention. It really is amazing.

#personal #positive rant #overwatch

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iti-moved · 4 years

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Rational Feelers: Where Many MBTI Typings Fail

To many, particularly those interested in MBTI typings, the term "rational feeler" may seem like a juxtaposition, but I am here to challenge that thought.

Too often, when a person or character doesn't seem to understand the feelings of others around them, they are generally typed in MBTI communities as a Thinking personality. Even though this seems reasonable on the surface, it is a deeply flawed deduction, rooted in a misunderstanding of the cognitive functions and a lack of consideration for outside influences.

While it is true that the Feeling types are inherently more humanitarian in nature and are highly attuned to their own values/the values of society, empathy itself is not limited to one type or the other. Thinking types may be very empathetic, and Feeling types may be very callous; to assume one or the other about a person or character based on whether they are a Feeling or Thinking type is to have a flawed understanding of high Fe/Fi and high Te/Ti.

An example of this fallacy can be seen in the typings of Obi-Wan Kenobi from the Star Wars universe. Over the years, I have seen many typings of this character, most notably ISTJ. People assume that because Obi-Wan thinks very rationally and that his most noticeable flaw is failing to understand Anakin's feelings and personal struggles, he must be a Thinking type--however, being rational is not the same as valuing Te. An ENFP may be just as capable of logical deduction as an INTJ; to assume otherwise it to participate in the stereotypical caricatures of the 16 personalities. The capability for rational thought is not rooted in any particular type, just as any type can be more intelligent than the another. Measuring things such as intelligence (which is already a difficult concept to define and systemize) based on whether a person is a Thinking or Feeling type has no ground in accuracy. Differences in intelligence are rooted in individual people and their complex life experiences, not to mention that there are many different ways intelligence is defined.

Obi-Wan failing to understand Anakin's emotions has everything to do with how he was raised as a Jedi and the subsequent values he was taught to uphold, not him being a Thinking type. Frankly, none of the Jedi understand emotion because they are taught to suppress it. The Jedi were not meant to have emotional attachments, nor were they allowed to feel strong emotions, for it was insinuated that unbridled feeling such as that would lead to the Dark Side; it is because of this that we cannot assume a Jedi is a Thinking type based only on their ability to healthily understand and express emotion.

A similar mistake is people equating Yoda being a very skilled Force-user to being an iNtuitive, when in actuality, using the Force is a skill separate from iNtuition. Anakin/Darth Vader was an excellent Force-user: he could manipulate the physics of objects around him with ease, read peoples' thoughts and emotions, and had multiple premonitions of the future--but he is certainly an ESFP, a Sensing type. Using the Force is not iNtuition; it is a skill that any Force-sensitive being can tap into under the right guidance, and therefore can not be used to distinguish a Sensor from an Intuitive in a typing.

People too often forget to include outside factors such as these into their type analyses; often, typings are done under the assumption that the person or character in question are perfectly healthy, developed versions of their type, raised in an environment fit for them to thrive, when this is only rarely the case. From here, I must move on to assert my typing of Obi-Wan: ISFJ. Yes, he is rational, yes, he was not a mentor suitable for fostering Anakin's troubled emotional state, but this is not indicative of being a Thinking type, as previously explained. Obi-Wan's Fe is clear to me by just how diplomatic he can be--this is not to say that a Thinking type can't also be diplomatic, but that Obi-Wan can talk his way out of situations by appealing to the general social norms of the species he is speaking to, which is something he picks up on naturally, with ease. Understanding and placing significance on social values is indicative of higher Fe, and Obi-Wan's level of rationality does not refute this fact: Rationality is not linked solely to a singular cognitive function or type, but rather varies from individual to individual.

Obi-Wan's high Fe can also be seen in the value he places on the general social roles and ranks within the Jedi. He doesn't understand why Qui-Gon won't simply suck it up and agree with the Jedi Council: "If you would just follow the code, you would be on the Council," he says to Qui-Gon in The Phantom Menace. Furthermore, Obi-Wan has little understanding of himself outside of his role of being a Jedi. High Fe is all about social roles and how the user fits into these social roles, which can also be an element of their immature understanding of emotions if that is what the role calls for. Similarly, ISFJs can have trouble with emotions, especially if it runs in their family or the environment they find themselves in: For example, if a high Fe user is a part of a family or environment that believes excessive emotions and being touchy-feely is a sign of emasculation or weakness, the appropriate role for the ISFJ in that family or environment is to take on that belief, for it is part of their identity in the system. This is just like Obi-Wan in the Jedi and has everything to do with how he was taught to define his role in their system.

When Obi-Wan loses being a Jedi after everything collapses in Revenge of the Sith, I believe that he lost a huge part of himself. His identity was strongly placed in not just being on the Council or just being a member of the Jedi, but also in being exceptional in these roles, which indicates someone who values Fe.

People don't necessarily think of Fe manifesting in this way, but it is certainly influenced by the social expectations of a family, job, or society as a whole. Fe allows Obi-Wan to connect and utilize the general social norms around him. His tertiary Ti allows him to internally and rationally justify his distrust of Palpatine. What separates this from Fi is that even though Obi-wan had his personal suspicions, he was still very bound to the opinions of the council and trusted their judgement above all else, therefore respecting the societal and hierarchical roles established in his society.

In A New Hope, when Obi-Wan (or should I say Old Ben?) convenes with Luke, he slips back into the typical ISFJ role of being a protector, but also, he immediately wants to teach Luke to know about the Jedi teachings of the past. Even after everything has collapsed and shifted, Obi-Wan instinctively reaches for the systems of old, the systems he put great faith in and believed worked perfectly before Palptaine. Placing high value on a trusted system in such manner is indicative of Si-Fe.

Thus, I confidently type Obi-Wan as ISFJ, but that is not the sole purpose of this article. I mean to blatantly reject shallow typings that rely on stereotype alone or on statements such as "he is very rational in almost all situations." I also reject the idea that one type may be more intelligent than the other, or that one Feeling function is more morally correct than the other. Each personality type has its own flaws; the purpose of identifying as a particular type is to become more self-aware of your own weak points and places of struggle, not to assert yourself as 'better' than someone of a different type.

#MBTI #MBTI stuff #obi-wan kenobi #star wars #star wars MBTI #16 personalities #16 personality types

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icameheretowinry · 6 years

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Ed for character ask, if you want! Have a nice day ❤️

If I want? If I want??? If I want?!?!?! OF COURSE I WANT TO. Ed ruined my life in the best possible way and I will ramble about him forever. LET’S. DO. THIS.

How I feel about this character:

Obviously, you guys know that Edward Elric is not only my favorite character in the fma universe, but probably my favorite character in general. He’s excellently written, deeply representative of the nature of humanity, and endures beautifully subtle development over the course of his story. I’ve done several character analyses of Ed, but I tend to ramble. Here, I really want to take my time, and talk about specific aspects of his character I think are the most worthy of note. This might get l o n g, so grab some snacks and settle in. Let’s talk about the Fullmetal Alchemist!

One of most defining and well-written characteristics of Ed is his tragic backstory. The consequences of attempting to revive their mother follow Ed and Al years after it occurs, and forms one the main backbone of their story. While the immediate aftermath tends to define a large part of Ed’s personality in the beginning, what makes him so fascinating is that he eventually learns that using his personal tragedies as an excuse for his shortcomings with get him nowhere. Instead, he learns to use his suffering as a springboard to make sure no one else ever has to feel the way he and his brother did. The awful things that happen to Nina are a major setback, but instead of collapsing further in on himself, Ed, mostly thanks to Al, realizes that not only is it ok to start by trying to save himself, but with that effort, he can become stronger, and by extension, do more to help others. So, instead of using tragedy as an excuse for his weaknesses, Ed faces them to make himself stronger, and throughout his journey, use them as markers of his progress, or as checks to his humility.

Ed is also incredibly well-written to reflect his age. Sure, your average twelve-year-old is not an alchemic prodigy serving in the military, but I’m talking about how Ed reacts to his circumstances as a boy who’s just trying to piece he and his brother’s lives back together. Ed can play up the adult facade as much as he wants, but Arakawa also wrote him to be what he is; a kid. In the early stages of his story, Ed reacts to many inconveniences with fits of frustration, triumphs with unabashed cockiness, and authority or criticism with an upturned nose. Most of these immature reactions lessen or die out as his story progresses, as it does when someone starts to grow up. I can say that after living with a younger brother at ages 12, 13, 14, etc., Arakawa did a spectacular job of not only capturing those years with deadly accuracy, but applying them to an extraordinary individual like Ed in a way that felt effortless. While on a quest that eventually would determine the fate of the world as they knew it, he also gets nervous over a crush, and deals with the ups and downs of teenage friendships. (I mean, 99.9% of people’s best friends in high school don’t give up control of their body to an immortal being but there’s a metaphor I’m getting at here.)

Another super interesting aspect of Ed’s character is his guilt complex. For someone who so acts his age, he still takes on blame for many things that legitimately weren’t his fault. He blames himself for the loss of Al’s body, though there was no way he could’ve know what Truth would’ve taken from him, or that Truth would’ve intervened at all. He chastises himself for not being useful in dire situations when Winry stepped up to deliver Dominic’s grandchild in Rush Valley. It wasn’t his area of expertise, while Winry, he acknowledges, grew up with doctors for parents and reading medical textbooks. He feels helpless, but how could he know he would find himself in such a situation? He even holds himself responsible as a culprit in Hughes’ death for getting him involved in their research of philosophers’ stones. What Hughes discovered about the nationwide transmutation circle was, ultimately, his own doing. In addition, besides blaming himself for the loss of Al’s body, a guilt that Ed carries to the end of his story was his inability to save Nina. Just because he was the first person to put all the pieces together, he thought that if he realized Shou Tucker’s true intentions that much sooner, she would still be alive. Yet, realistically, no one else had figured it out either. He was just in the wrong place at the right(?) time. Yet, all of this being said, the moments during which Ed overcomes some of his guilt are some of the most powerful in the entire story. (Learning that Al didn’t blame him for the loss of his body is a prime example.)

As I’ve mentioned in other recent character analyses, a complex personality is key to a strong and likable character, and my god, does Ed have one. Ed has many traits that make him just fascinating to watch. While his early cynicism of humanity fades away, he remains cocky, stubborn, abrasive, short-tempered, sarcastic, occasionally hostile to figures of authority, and not one above stroking his own ego. Yet, a lot of those aspects of his personality veer towards superficial. He views every human life (in all forms) as sacred, and something he is painfully reluctantly to use to further his own goals. To those who earn his respect, he is endlessly loyal, selfless, and fights for those who can’t fight for themselves. His personality also takes on a different tint (like a real person) when he interacts with different people. He fights to see the Ling within Greed, but ultimately respects Greed as a member of his team. He’s in awe, yet honest with Riza. He’s sarcastic with Roy, but when in danger, is his greatest ally. He’s level-headed, firm, and forgiving with Al. He’s uniquely gentle and compassionate to Winry. In short, he’s beautifully and painfully human.

Finally, Ed is an excellent foil to the character of Father. While the latter tried to make himself a perfect being by ridding himself of humanity’s seven deadly sins (an idea I remember someone, though I can’t remember who, likening his goal to the idea of Nietzsche’s “Übermensch,” which is basically a form of superior man who could rise above traditional Christian values to impose his own. That sounds pretty accurate to me, but I’m no expert in this corner of philosophy.), Ed actively embraced all of his flaws, guilt, and well, sins, to ultimately become a more compassionate individual who is able to ultimately triumph over evil. (As a side note, Greed’s aid in this final battle really adds extra emphasis to his earlier explanation to Ed that “everyone wants something they cannot have.” The fact that Greed sacrifices himself in this moment to assure Father’s defeat proves that point several times over, which just makes those final sequences of the battle that much cooler [and heartbreaking]). The fact that Ed, who is riddled with what Father considers the ultimate faults of humanity, still overcomes him, proves that the rejection of own’s own humanity is a greater evil than the sum of it’s parts. As a huge characterization nerd, that’s pretty freaking cool.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Edwin is easily one of my top five OTPs, and I honestly don’t see shipping Ed with anyone else. Like Roy and Riza, Ed and Winry’s relationship is built on years of trust, respect, friendship, and tragedy. While they sometimes struggle with communicating their feelings, whether its about each other or the circumstances they’re facing, they always manage to get their feelings across when the moment demands it. It seems that their respective obsessions confuse or annoy each other, yet, they each possess huge admiration for the other’s accomplishments and passions. They understand the harsh burden of losing their parents, and Winry never judges Ed for attempting to revive his mother, likely because she had the same kind of longing. In addition, each of them are deeply concerned for the safety of the other, with Ed especially going to great lengths to ensure Winry is unaffected with his involvement in the military. Sadness of one pains the other, and they’re both hellbent on making sure the other is, in the end, happy. Talk about the makings of a great relationship! Also, at the most basic level, they’re SO DAMN ADORABLE.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I have to go with Al here. (Also apparently this got too long to add more gifs so rip to that idea…) These two have been through so much together, balance the weight of their varying personalities, and as a result, are the ultimate allies. Besides the deep care these brothers share, the most interesting aspect about them is how their personalities contrast and support one another. Ed is typically hot-headed and impulsive. Al is calmer and leans more towards logic. Ed has a big ego and is sarcastic. While Al has his moments, he’s unflinchingly kindhearted. However, their mutual passion for alchemy, humanity, and completing their quest are unmatched. The story is about brotherhood, and these two are the ultimate protagonists. Al’s superior battle sense, levelheadedness, and gentle personality are the perfect balance to Ed. He brings him back down to earth, yet encourages him to race to the ends of it. They joke and argue, but you know they would sacrifice everything for the other.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

*sigh* The Ed being really short joke did eventually get old…

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

As is the case with many fma characters in my book, I want to see more! Knowing Ed, there’s no way this kid would peak at 18. I want to see his adventures after the promised day. I want to see him with Winry and his kids, being a great father, but I also want to see him traveling, discovering, and maybe getting himself into a bit of trouble here and there! At the end of years of struggling and hardship, I want to see the next crazy step in his journey. There’s no way he’d sit still for long. The sky’s barely the limit for Ed, and i want to see how far he flies.

Send me a character, if you dare.

#edward elric #fma #fma brotherhood #character analysis #nikki speaks #good lord was this fun!!#lmao i wrote an essay;;;;;;

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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“The Most Meta Finale” Or, on trying to disown old canon since season 11.

To be honest, I was going to spend today re-watching some season 6 episodes to see if I could come up with a much more modest plausible theory about the reason there was so much AU and time travel nonsense especially in the latter half of the season, was because of a theme of shattering canon, quite deliberately. In a way of staking a claim but also washing hands of messing up the stuff that came before. And instead I ended up giving myself a migraine seeing canon since season 5 as something that's been repeatedly disowned and carefully distanced from over and over.

In 5x22 Chuck ends the story with his definitive THE END on the whole mess. Of course it's a bit ridiculous because season 6 was already long foretold and the story was going to have to continue. But Chuck sits there representing the author, in a very unsubtle way, with his finished drink, finished manuscript, and all cleaned up, washing his hands of the Chuck the Prophet persona and going on to chill out and enjoy the ~finished story~

6x15, though, represents in the most meta ridiculous ways the trouble the show felt, or lampooned itself being stuck with, having to continue on into season 6, with the theme in 6x15 and then seriously in 6x20, being what to do when the original story was over, and how to continue on. In The French Mistake "Bob Singer" dismisses the entire idea of season 6 out loud, rolling his eyes at the fact they're continuing to make the story. At the end of the episode he is killed off, and "Kripke" is taken out with much dramatic fanfare (and the same music as 6x18's cowboy confrontation, which amuses me no end and is another weird link between the episodes about travels in time and space, testing the bounds of the universe they're written in, and breaking them.) Of course killing "Kripke" off is the very unsubtle message about the death of the author, a metatextual image that goes with God leaving the story and sending it off into the wild. Kripke (the real one) wrote 6x22 as his final episode, before leaving it all in others' hands since then. On pretty much every level of the story it's handed off to writer after writer.

I think it's interesting that the "original story" is captured within the show as the Winchester Gospels (and my tag for that has plenty of amusing exploration of the ways this makes canon fascinatingly more complex) - but also that it makes SUCH a clear divide between the Original Story aka the subject of the Gospels, and what comes after. Charlie giggles in delight at discovering that the seemingly random hunters she meets later in their story have been the subject of the books and have such a meta backstory, and in 8x20 their lives are turned into a low key conflict between the real and the novelised in the way Charlie interacts with them.

In 10x05 they see their lives from the outside, Marie's canon which echoes their lives up to the point the Original Story ends, and we get another line which is one of my favourites in that episode, dismissing everything that comes after 5x22 as terrible fan fiction. Not that Calliope thinks she did much better...

I've written somewhere else about the meta episodes or characters such as Metatron showing the writers' anxiety about taking on the story, and it often comes with this deep horror of the weight on them to continue the story, the meta story within the story also making this shove on them that shackles them to this narrative of the Original Story. I also should have really included Metatron being waved off into the Empty or wherever in between Chuck's disappearances but I ran out of gif space up there...

Rewatching 11x20 recently I was deeply struck by how alike Metatron and Chuck are even down to their little curly haired vessels, though of course with wonderfully acted different bearings to make their personalities and place in the story clear.

Metatron has his own huge part to play in representing the story and the deep, deep anxiety they had about following on from it. In 9x18 Metatron burns a copy of Tall Tales while trying to stand above the old canon, and Chuck takes him to task for it in 11x20, and Metatron folds and admits he's a terrible copy-cat writer, the anxieties you can see all over his appearances in Carver era while trying to wrangle the story in his favour. And in the end Chuck leaves his desk with a manuscript on it again just like in 5x22, though this time going to what he thinks may be his end:

These moments of trying to end or box off old canon with Death of the Author moments are incredibly numerous. We have Chuck leaving in 5x22, "Kripke" dying in 6x15, the entire plot of 10x05 being about Calliope coming to consume the author, and the meta nonsense there, and then Metatron's death, Chuck slated to die but saved by network panic about what you can and can't show on screen...

This shot of Chuck was a zoom out in comparison to the zoom in on dead "Kripke", but feels very similar, especially with Amara having raged at him about the story, after in 11x20 Chuck refused to allow it to be her story. Of course the resolution allows the suppressed, forgotten, fridged feminine side of the story to be released, and Mary is brought back. And after Chuck and Amara - now joint authors of the story with her action to bring Mary back creating the narrative of season 12 and flipping the influence from the douchey male creator to the women whose stories were never told, we've had ANOTHER absconding of the authors of the story, once again leaving the story in a sort of 5x death of the author situation, and once again like season 6, which season 12 mirrored in many ways, scrambling to understand their ends of the story.

I think the destruction of old canon seems almost like a necessary sort of household chore on the story - a chance to try and reclaim it, to put it into the hands of new author figures within the story, and an attempt for those left behind after showrunners and enormous creative influences like Edlund (who set Metatron up to go, threw him at the story, and left) or Robbie (who set Chuck up, threw him at the story, and left) have gone. Once Carver left somewhere before the end of season 11, we entered the rather strange world of the first time since season 2 not having part of the "Carver Edlund" duo the show's own God was named after on the writing team, and Dabb, who had been with the show almost as long as Carver and written more episodes than any other writer by like, the end of season 10, so will probably hold that title forever now, was left to remove the characters related to all this from the show, to start fresh.

And it seemed like everyone was having a stab at telling the story - the BMoL in particular twice referenced 9x18 and Metatron in a bid to wrangle control of the story with face on talking to the camera asking for stories or typing them - although lampshaded that the story really wasn’t going their way.

I find it really fascinating then to look back to season 6 and these other examples of trying to disown and distance the story from the old canon, to try and strike out and say the story now belongs to someone else, that these old parts of it are no longer our parts of it, though they influence us and we draw from them. If season 6 was using these AUs and time travel stories (The French Mistake, My Heart Will Go On and Frontierland) to explore the shattering of the world (before 6x21 and 6x21 explored smashing open Purgatory and bringing in new monsters and new plotlines to change the game for season 7), then season 12 referencing the most meta of all these examples when bringing in its own AU seems to me to be very deeply relevant.

The premise of the AU is one that in a way wipes the slate clean - removing the Winchesters, their entire influence, trashing every single word in those gospels, so the story can never happen that way, in a way is the freshest start so far. If season 13 focuses on characters like Michael or Bobby's experience of this AU and give us another history, an explanation of where it all went different, which all seems fairly likely at this point that we should learn more and understand the motivations and lives lead in the Winchesters' absence, then I think this really will live up to the threat that this was the most meta finale yet. A throwaway reference to the French Mistake doesn't SEEM to make it all that meta on the surface. But in the immediate context of the episode, the AU's description, of being turned on Mary's deal not being made, was used to absolve her and lift up Sam and Dean in the context of their own world - that they'd made the right choices, that they had authored their own world far better than it would have been without them.

I am very curious to see what Dabb does with his clean slate, after he used season 12 to try and tie up as many loose ends as humanly possible, and churn up references to almost every part of old canon into the story to give it another hearing, another perspective, another chance to be told. I think season 12 was very much the tidying away season and an AU with potentially completely different rules, and definitely an entirely other history and sets of characters, is an interesting way to re-make the show in... something's image. I suppose these thoughts are for revisiting in the aftermath of the end of the season and whatever that ends up bringing...

#winchester gospels #this fucking meta show :P #lizbob gifs #my stuff #Duct Tape Ex Machina #Metatron #6x15 #10x05 #11x20 #11x21 #11x22 #11x23 #12x23 #season 13 spoilers #season 13 speculation #Dabb vs cars

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seasonsofreckoningrp-blog · 7 years

Photo

Congratulations, Bru! You’ve been accepted for the role of Leon Valiente-Gardner. Please make sure to check our checklist, and you have twenty-four hours to send us your character’s blog. We’re really happy to have you in our family!

You had us with the family feels, seeing as both of us will be playing Leon’s siblings. You’ve brought him to life as the selfless and whole-hearted warlock that he is. Family obviously is a big and important factor to him and you’ve touched on his relationship with all three of them, especially with your headcanons about Spencer. It's beautiful how much you understood Leon and found every blank space in his past and filled it up with headcanons.

Introduction

Bru. 27, she/her.

Activity level:

Honestly, I can log on every day for at least one hour or so. My hours are flexible… sometimes my schedule gets crazy, but for the most part, I can log on every day.

Further contact:

[Removed]

How did you find the roleplay?

Magic ~~~. I’m jk. You guys told me about it <3

Roleplay experience:

I’ve been roleplaying for a few years now. I’ve done city roleplays, bio roleplays, oc roleplays, crossovers… I’ve met you both on SoR 1.0 and it’s been a crazy ride ever since. Most of the RPs I’ve been in, have been with Ev so she knows I’m a decent player.

Triggers:

[Removed]

Anything else?

[Removed]

IC INFORMATION

Desired character:

Leon Valiente-Gardner.

Faceclaim:

Why did you choose this character?

From day one, I’ve been in love with the idea of Leon and when I finally read his bio, it only made me want to play him even more. First and foremost let me talk about the family connections, which to me, is a huge part of Leon and one of the main reasons why I’m choosing to apply for him. Family is everything to him. It’s the people who’ve made him who he is, it’s the ones the love him the most, unapologetically and unconditionally. There’s nothing that he wouldn’t do if that meant protecting his family. And then we get to Eirene, which is basically like a second family to him. He’s more than happy to help the little ones understand their power and he’s always so eager to learn from the older members of the coven.

To me, he sort of breaks that trope where every popular guy has to be a jerk or a bully. I can see him as the class’ president, fighting for everyone’s place in the school, always trying to do better and to be better. He’s so filled with life and knowledge that it’s impossible not to feel drawn to him. I feel like people are drawn to both twins, but since Leon is the one who’s more in sync with people while Lena is in sync with herself and the nature around them, they tend to flock to him more often. The fact that he’s an empath also, is something that I’d love to explore because someone who can feel other people’s emotions and be able to ease the hard ones or to increase the good ones, but doesn’t really know how to handle their own emotions is definitely something interesting.

Leon is very diplomatic. He loves being around people and he loves hearing what they have to say, even if sometimes he might end up not agreeing with them. Besides, I think that being around people helps him escape his own mind and how much of a dangerous place it can be. The way he’s always putting others in front of himself is also another way of escaping his own thoughts, because the more he cares and worries about others, the less time he gets to spend alone with his own insecurities and the duality living in him. He always has a smile on his face to match his upbeat attitude, because if people don’t see the cracks beneath the surface, they won’t give up on their cause, which is peace no matter what. If he manages to stay strong for everyone’s sake, then he’ll have done his job.

There are two sides of Leon: one that he lets people see… the popular, friendly guy. The man who’s always there, offering you either a shoulder to cry on or some advice. The boy with the childish grin who’s grown into a leader of his own people without overstepping Cassidy’s boundaries, the one who doesn’t want this war to get any worse. For the most part, he’s this light-hearted young man, who lights up the room with his attitude and his kindness; but every up has its down and then there’s the part no one ever sees… the ambitious, reserved and quiet man who’s struggling to put his pieces back together and who would love more than anything than to see his brother’s killers not getting away with what they’ve done. His soul, he feels has broken ever since Spencer’s death, and while he’s been trying to mend himself up, sometimes tempting thoughts end up creeping their way up to the back of his mind, leaving Leon to fight his demons by himself. I personally love those shades of grey in him. The struggle to keep himself together, because others need him, even though he’s falling apart.

Para sample:

Run.

It was like he couldn’t breathe. His mind was playing tricks again, giving him images of happy times with Spencer, only to have them taken away from him in a blink of an eye. His nightmares were usually bad whenever he felt like his energy had been drained, but this time it had happened after spending some time with Pari and even in his dream, Leon was confused. The darkness was closing in, making his heart race and making it harder for him to breathe. With a jolt, he was awake. His chest was heaving, the air coming in cold into his lungs as he pulled it with some strength. Leon blinked a couple of times, removing the pillow from its position behind him and pressing it to his face, screaming into it, as if it would help him get rid of the dark energy that still clung to his body just like his sweaty t-shirt that he had slept in, did.

As he lowered the pillow, he could’ve sworn he had seen a figure by the window, which prompted him to turn his bedside lamp on, but there was nothing there. Was he going crazy? No… not yet. With a quick jerk of his head, Leon climbed out of bed and hopped into the shower, hoping the jets would relax his muscles and empty out his mind so he could go back to sleep. After changing his sheets, watching as some droplets of water had marked his bed with wet dots, Leon still wasn’t tired enough, so he paid a quick visit to the kitchen, where, surprisingly, he found Cassidy munching on some fruit while reading on a book. As unexplainable as it was, Leon was immediately invaded with this sense of comfort just by the mere sight of his sister.

“Can’t sleep?” He offered them a smile as he pressed a kiss on their rosy cheek. His gaze was still on them, waiting for a reply as he moved through the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of juice, then joining them at the table. “Anything I can do?” His questions had two meanings: one, it meant to help Cassidy as a member of their coven, as a brother; and the other, it meant helping them as an empath. When Cassidy shook their head, thanking for the offer but denying it, claiming they had gotten distracted reading a book, Leon knew better than to push it. People didn’t like being forced to speak when they didn’t feel like doing so, besides, their expressions and manners didn’t read as a lie.

He offered them a smile, warm and comforting, before motioning his head towards the living room. “Since we’re both here and we both can’t sleep, how about we watch some TV? It’s not like I have an early class tomorrow.” And he also didn’t feel like meditating either. Deep down, deeply rooted inside him, resided some kind of fear of poking this darkness that sometimes haunted his dreams. This eagerness for power, the craving for more than it had been gifted him… he feared that by trying to understand it, Leon would open the door to something so crude and ugly, that would make him see himself as a completely different person, and you know—he liked who he was. He actually did.

An offer had been made and an offer had been accepted, which made him move to the living room, getting comfortable as Cassidy joined him on the couch. The house felt so silent this evening. If Spencer was still alive and awake, he would’ve wanted for them to watch some old cartoon, like Johnny Quest or Thundercats. Something colorful and lively. Something that would make everyone’s auras just a shade warmer. Remembering Spencer had always felt bittersweet to him. Out of everyone, Leon had always had this notion that he had felt Spencer’s loss the most, although it wasn’t like him to undermine or to think less of other people’s pain. Everyone in the family felt the blow. Everyone was still trying to make through the days.

Steps coming from behind the couch brought him back to the present as he felt his twin’s presence in the room. Was it possible that everyone had had trouble sleeping that night? “We’re about to watch that Nicole Kidman movie where she’s witch.” His childish grin was plastered on his face as Leon followed Lena with his gaze. “Do you want to join us? It always makes us laugh.”

Maybe this was exactly what he wanted to recharge his energies, some quality time with his family, watching some silly movie about witches, picking apart all the differences between what they were watching and what was actually real. He had hope that the next day would be better… for him, for his soul, for everyone in that island. That was all he could do, right? Hope.

EXTRA

Personality traits:

+ SELFLESS

+ DIPLOMATIC

+ CHARISMATIC

- COMPLEX

- PASSIVE

- SELF-SACRIFICING

Headcanons:

I. SPENCER: He visits Spencer’s grave every week. When his younger sibling was still alive, they were often found together, sharing stories and laughing about most things. Leon enjoyed teaching Spencer little fun facts about historical figures and watch as his brother would always come back, eager to learn more, so ever since his death, every week Leon picks a day out of random, usually when he’s feeling drained out and goes to the cemetery and has a quick chat with his brother’s grave, often sharing something new that he’s learned about this or that person. It’s a way to keep him grounded and sane, to make him feel like he’s still there.

II. LANGUAGES: Ever since he was young, Leon’s been walking around with his head stuffed in books. He’s taught himself Latin as a young teenager, which made it a lot easier for him to understand the ancient spells written in those old grimoires. During high school, fascinated by the myths, he’s learned Greek, just for the sake of learning something new. His eternal seek for knowledge also led him to learn how to speak French and Spanish during his time at Yale, and recently, he’s picked up on learning German, too.

III. NIGHTMARES: As an empath, you’re bound to let people’s emotions influence your aura somehow and it isn’t different with Leon. Sometimes, when he’s overwhelmed, he can feel his body physically tired, but unable to have a peaceful sleep. Emotions are tricky things and in Moon Island, they tend to be fickle and all over the place. The mix of his gift with his inner struggles often result in him suffering with vivid nightmares that wake him up in the middle of the night struggling for air. They don’t happen often and they definitely don’t pose a problem in his life… yet.

IV. RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUALITY: Leon considers himself demisexual. While he has no preference towards genders, he cares little about sex itself. He’d rather connect with people first, to get to know them before they even begins feeling sexually attracted to them. He loves the nightlife in Moon Island as much as the next person and connecting with people is one of the best feelings for him, so whenever he finds someone who connects with him in that level, he wants to commit to them. So Leon’s had a few relationships in the past, some more meaningful than others, but all have taught him something. I’m not sure if people feel intimidated by the fact that he’s a Valiente-Gardner and that could be some kind of obstacle when it comes to being in a relationship with him. Lots of people don’t want the kind of responsibility that entails dating someone like him, so that could be a problem. I know that Leon’s last names weight a lot on his shoulders, he’s got huge shoes to fill, but I also think he tries his best to make people see him as more than just someone with important parents.

V. EXERCISING: Since his powers are abstract, Leon’s type of training consist mostly on keeping his body healthy and ready to defend him in case he needs to. Besides going to the gym, he does boxing classes and swims in his spare time, but also, doesn’t mind joining Helena in a yoga or meditation session whenever he feels like his mind’s getting too heavy.

I had a tag for him but I just realized that the hyphen isn’t letting the other posts show and now I’m sad. But I made a mockblog even though is not as pretty as I’d like it to be. HERE.

#accepted

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