#then I get home after a 40 min drive of josh crying over some unexplained problem with all the “stress” on his face leaving immediately

[shoveitevil]

god. why does no one care about me in this damned house

#two days of hanging out with childhood friends having the best fun I’ve had all holidays just to be ruined by my brother #my god #firstly you have a complete fucking meltdown right before we’re supposed to leave despite you having a full 6 hours to prepare while im #in a rush to get in the car 10 mins after waking up because my mum didn’t wake me up #then you make us call you because you were feeling left out despite you specifically saying you didn’t want to hang out with these people #then the next day you agree to go and immediately start insulting me for laughs and then hitting me with hard plastic when I respond #you continue to do things to the rest of us and then complain when we do the same #eventually going to mum and conveniently ignoring any part where he hit me #then you act moody the rest of the damn day watching youtube and then say all that time watching YouTube was stressing you out #then I get home after a 40 min drive of josh crying over some unexplained problem with all the “stress” on his face leaving immediately #my mum asks me why I wasn’t feeling the best and I explain all the shit that josh did to me #and then she has the nerve to stay “why have you stayed so mad about this” as if josh doesn’t constantly pull this shit #apparently she thought all the times we didn’t fight were just normal?? as if I don’t have to constantly walk on eggshells around josh #and I had to explain how I constantly had to comprise for him and how I just for once wanted to have fun with my friends #and even then we constantly invited him to play with us #and then refused to #the two hour later I decide for once in my life to be vulnerable with my dad and get on the verge of tears explaining how I’m treated by jo #and how despite doing the actual limit to what I can mentally handle to appease josh he still treats me like dogshit #and he decides to make this about him and his brother and how their relationship worked #and then told me basically that my brother will never leave my life and I have to stay with him forever #I love my mother #My father and my brother not so much #but when it’s not about josh getting a pinprick and having to cancel a 2 week holiday #it’s about mum and dad and how they are going through a rough patch and constantly have to let us know #the only time it feels like I’m paid any attention to at all is when I’m with my sisters or I get a grade back #ughhhhhhhhhhhh #vent