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devine-fem · 7 months

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i am BEGGING you to make that jondami ship guide. not because i need anything to make me ship them more than i already do but because they deserve to have their good moments highlighted

Jondami/Damijon shipping guide.

A collective guide to any cute moment between Jon and Damian in DC comics or motion pictures. Any moment that could make a reader like them more as a ship will be put all here in one Tumblr post.

• Superman (2016) Issues #10-#11

This is the first time they meet each other and they immediately knock heads. Jon’s lighter than life personality clashes with Damian’s cold personality and they don’t seem to get along but you can tell there’s something growing behind the eye rolling and tongue clicking… a friendship?

• Super Sons (2017)

This is the first of the Super Sons series, the series is really short but gold nonetheless. No Super Sons comic that I don’t like but this one is my favorite. They still are knocking heads and refuse to call each other partners but they grow and learn to be heroes together.

• Adventures of the Super Sons (2018)

They slowly start to get used to each other and this comic shows that Damian isn’t just straight up mean but is starting to somewhat ‘like’ Jon.

• Challenge of the Super Sons (2020)

The last main Super Sons comics. This one is fine but I love the others so much. These comics are essential to know Jon and Damian period, it’s the main comics of each others story and in a way they are important to each others development.

• Batman and Superman: Battle of the Super Sons (2022)

Now after all that reading treat yourself to a movie because Jon and Damian got their own movie. This is what started Jon and Damian for a lot of people and this is probably where a lot of you are from. This movie is great and fun. They made Damian wayyy nicer than in the comics and their friendship easier.

• DC Rebirth Holiday Special (2016)

Please find and read this. It’s so cute. I love it so much.

• Dark Nights: Metal issue #3 (2017 -2018)

They make a rock band in the beginning, its so cute.

• DCeased (2019)

• DCeased: The Unkillables (2020)

• DCeased: Hope at World’s End (2020)

• DCeased: Dead Planet (2020)

• DCeased: War of the Undead Gods (2022)

This is such a good series, and story in general please read it. DC peaked with this one and its so angsty. I don’t care what comphet was happening, Jon was there for Damian like no one else. I think Damian ends up with Cassie which is weird to me because Damian has never shown interest in anyone before but I excuse it since it’s not really gonna happen again since they were in a relationship just for the story to be more high stakes and sad. Jon and Damian’s relationship was at the forefront and for comic book readers DCeased made people see the potential in Jondami.

• DC’s Terror Through Time (2022)

This is so cute, please read this. It’s a halloween special and they switch uniforms <3!!

• DC Saved by the Belle Reve (2022)

They help a nonbinary person navigate school and it’s so damn cute.

• The age up incident.

(Disclaimer: You can pretend this never happens and I wouldn’t blame you for doing that.) A writer named Brain Micheal Bendis comes into the writers room for DC and ages up Jon in short. The story is that Superman goes missing (He travels to War World and gets stuck there) and Jor-El comes back to meet Jon and he takes him on a trip to explore space, then they get trapped in a wormhole, Jon gets stuck on Earth-3 and has to fight Ultraman. He’s stuck in a volcano for five or six years and becomes seventeen (we think) when he comes back. This was sad to me because it took away all the potential interactions for Jon and our ability to see him grow up, it was rushed and purposely so. Jon takes up the title of Superman somehow and starts to date some guy named “Jay Nakamura.”

• Superman: Son of Kal-El (2021) Issues: #1, #3, #6, #13, and #14.

He does get a boyfriend here and I think it’s amazing the fact he simply gets a boyfriend but no one really likes his bf so… and the are real reasons why Jay as a character is problematic BUT if you just don't want to see him with someone else than every time you see a pink haired twink, quickly skip.

• Super Sons (2017) Special

This is them reuniting after the age up and it shows how Damian reacts to it. I can’t actually find this and if anyone can please let me know where it is. I can only find bits and pieces of it scattered across the internet. All you need to know is that he doesn’t like the age up anymore than us since he says “I miss my friend.” which is really sad to me because the age up ultimately really hurts what people like about their dynamic as well as tarnish Jon’s character almost completely.

UPDATE: found it, it got attached to

• Dark Crisis (2022) till Issue #5

This is fine, after issue four Jon and Damian are not there anymore and if you read half the story just for jon and damian you might as well finish it.

• Green Lantern: Blackstars (2019) issue #2

They hug here. You’re welcome.

• Action Comics (2016) issue #1030

This is the best thing to come from the age up. This is so cute of them.

• Teen Titans (2016) Issue #45

i didnt really like this, im not gonna lie but it has some damian and jon interaction worth noting with jon being protective over damian.

• Flash (2016) Issue #797

jon defending damian. this is such a cute moment for them. jon talks damian up and says how hes the strongest person he knows and how hes misunderstood.

• Superman (2016) Issue #21

iconic damian and jon sleepover, so cute. so flipping cute. damians outfit is adorable.

• Legion of Super Heroes (2019) Issue #3, ?, ?

dont read this. its rlly bad but this is full of jon being the number one damian apologist, quality jondsmi moments over quantity. worth mentioning • Wonder Woman (2023) #3, #4, #5, #6, ? literally them raising a child together but their ages are a bit wonkey, i still dont personally know what age either of them are supposed to be there...

DC MEETS HANNA-BARBERA - Super Sons x Dynomutt

I’d say they aren’t exactly written right, well over all they are but their personalities are more relaxed and they care about each other a lot and will go out of their way to make sure the other is okay and protect them from danger, make them laugh etc, theres nothing wrong with this, its really cute but you can tell its not the typical jon and damian writers is all. I like it.

- Fandom

Artist that draw Jon and Damian:

(I don’t know any of these accounts intimately so if they’re problematic in any way than I am sorry in advance)

Sheiya Vlad

Pechaghtlecha

Corinthianrm0

Hobiiiebrown

spider-jaysart

arunneronthird

Twitter

Hokke

Gozer

@_1209E

YouTube

Justice Lords Animation

Japanese Animation

Super Sons Meme Animation

- Fanfics

Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once

Those Who Wait by InsaneTrollLogic

moving in stereo by TheResurrectionist

Reasons to Not Fall in Love by nanami

Growing Pains

These are fics I read and liked, I don’t have much. I don’t read a lot of Jondami fan fiction so I insist that you recommend your own fanfiction in the comments. (Don’t hate me for the self promo)

- Music (A silly lil playlist I made for them)

END

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remcycl333 · 1 year

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i feel like ‘living in the end’ is such a load of bull, everyone’s saying affirm and persist or go into the states. i feel like half of the community don’t have lives to live or even go outside. Idk, i just feel like not everyone can do that, especially in such a bad environment. like I get it I want to manifest a better life but its not my fault if I don’t persist or believe.

im not an affirm and persist girly anymore, but i was for a good year or two. all the advice i saw online was to affirm more. "if your desire isn't here yet, you haven't affirmed enough." i trusted this blindly, and i ended up affirming 24/7. it took up my whole life. i'd affirm while hanging out with my friends, while watching tv, while playing video games, while listening to music. and i wasn't getting my desires, even though it had been months. this is what led me to states, even though for a good year i didn't know the term "states".

states make manifesting so easy. you don't have to be in the state all day, because you are constantly shifting in and out of states all day long. you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to dedicate your entire day every day to repeating affirmations. the state you consistently going back to--aka your dwelling state--is what manifests. as long as you go back to the state of having your desire more than you go to the state of NOT having your desire, your desire will manifest.

living in the end is not a load of bull, but it's also not a 24/7 job like some people have made it out to be. let's say your manifesting money. i'm sure there are stretches of time throughout the day where you don't think about money at all. maybe while you're watching tv or reading a book or playing a video game. at that time, you're neither in the state of being rich, nor in the state of being poor. that's why you don't have to be in your desired state 24/7.

manifestation is a tool, it's not a job. we should not be neglecting our lives to affirm 24/7. nor should we be counting our affirmations. manifestation is a natural process. we manifested for years without even knowing we were doing it. we didn't create "neural pathways" or repeat sentences 10,000 times until our mind was saturated. we simply knew (assumed) something to be true, and then it manifested naturally into our 3d reality.

if it's not your fault if you don't persist, then who's is it? you have to take responsibility for everything you do. if you're in a bad environment, i don't blame you for having trouble with persisting or believing. but it's still something you're doing (or not doing). manifestation is your power that can help you get out of whatever situation you're in. especially if it's a situation that has no physical solution. if your only hope to get out of your situation is to manifest your way out, then people like me are here to teach you how to manifest. if you don't want to put in the effort, that's on you.

i know this sounds harsh. but as i explained before, states is very easy. you don't have to believe that everything is cupcakes and rainbows in your 3D when you're seeing the opposite of what you want. but it's not permanent, and you have the power to change the story in your 4D to be something more favorable. change your 4D first, and the 3D will follow. it is safe to think/imagine in your favor. take care of your 3D, don't neglect it. but there is nothing dangerous or high stakes about living in the end in your imagination. living in the end ≠ acting as if. if you're manifesting money and you only have ten dollars to your name, don't spend that money on something you don't need because "that's what a rich person would do." nothing you do in your 3D will effect your manifestation. it doesn't matter if you're not acting like a rich person, as long as you consistently go back to the state of being rich. the only thing you need to do is occupy the state of the wish fulfilled more than you occupy the state of lack, and your 3d will change. my fav way to do this is the distraction technique. the whole purpose of this technique is to shift your state to the wish fulfilled, and then go on about your day without having to constantly think about your desire. which is perfect for someone who doesn't have much time to manifest.

living in the end is not bull, it's one of the most important parts of manifesting. but i hope i've shown you that it isn't as hard as the grind culture that is affirming 24/7 has made it out to be. it's not a job, and it shouldn't take up all of your mental capacity or months of your time. you should be allowed to focus on things other than your manifestation!

anywayz i hope this post has helped someone idk!

#asks #states

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deadpresidents · 9 months

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What do you think is the best job to prepare someone for being president?

From everything I've read that former Presidents or people who worked in senior positions in various Administrations have written about the actual job of the Presidency, I don't think there really is anything to prepare someone for being President. If seems that many modern Presidents who took the job seriously and tried to govern in a normal, responsible manner were stunned by how big the job truly was once they got into it.

I think Governors tend to have a bit of an advantage compared to legislators because they were chief executives of their respective states and have a better sense of the structure of the job (on a much smaller scale), with their roles as administrator, commander-in-chief of military forces (Governors are commanders-in-chief of their state National Guard forces), with numerous executive departments reporting to them, etc. But it's still so much more intense than even the most populous states, and every President wants to hit the ground running on Inauguration Day, but they quickly discover that the world doesn't stop spinning just so they can get started. The problems that reach the President's desk usually tend to be those that everyone else has already tried to tackle without success and now the President is often the only person in the country -- and sometimes even the world -- who is left to make a decision about solving them. And those are the things that start popping up as soon as the President takes the oath of office, and they don't stop until the next person takes over.

I imagine that the best preparation for the modern Presidency is having a diverse collection of career -- and real-life -- experiences rather than a certain job. I know he was only a one-term President, but someone like George H.W. Bush probably had a much easier time settling into the job because he was a combat veteran as a fighter pilot in World War II, a businessman, Congressman, a diplomat, a CIA Director, and a two-term Vice President, than his son, George W. Bush or his successor, Bill Clinton, who were both Governors but relatively inexperienced outside of their careers in state politics.

In A Promised Land (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO), Barack Obama writes that one of the challenges about the Presidency is that "It wasn't simply that each decision I made was essentially a high-stakes wager; it was the fact that unlike in poker, where a player expects and can afford to lose a few big hands even on the way to a winning night, a single mishap could cost a life, and overwhelm -- both in the political press and in my own heart -- whatever broader objective I might have achieved."

It takes Presidents a while to understand that -- and some don't ever recognize it in time to get re-elected. They all have their own political ideologies and agendas and hopes and dreams, and when they are elected, they immediately start thinking about all of those things that they plan to do once they are inaugurated. But they also have to practically build and staff an entire branch of the federal government from the ground up-- particularly if they are succeeding an Administration from the opposing party -- in two months that can be ready to run the country from Day One. And then there is everything that is going on or might be going on or will be going on around the world. And they have a Legislative Branch and a Judicial Branch to work with, which will not necessarily be harmonious or even the least bit helpful. And in this century, we're also usually in the midst of at least one war (not to mention the military conflicts of other countries) or a dangerous national/international economic climate -- along with the damaged and rapidly changing actual climate. So, all of the President's plans and hopes and dreams and agendas start taking a backseat to everything else as soon as they raise their right hand and repeat the oath on January 20th. But they still have to accomplish what they set out to do. And if they DO accomplish it, they have to sell it to the country, so that everyone realizes that they actually DID accomplish something. And, again, all this starts the moment they take office and doesn't pause and doesn't end until they move out of the White House.

So, yeah, there's nothing to really get someone ready for that.

#History #Presidency #Presidents #POTUS #Presidential Experience #Presidential History #Being President

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pascaloverx · 6 months

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Hit The Road

Chapter Two

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Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.

Author's note: the characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story.

The man I attacked it is unconscious, tied up with vervain-soaked ropes. You set traps while he's in beauty sleep. By now, you'd think he'd be awake.

"If you think my brother will come here, you might be right. But he'll kill you and then rub it in my face that I'm an easy target." He says as he is waking up, he seems to be in some pain. I almost feel sorry for him.

"That's the point, dear man who I think is named Stefan. He already had the chance to kill me. And your idiotic brother decided to turn me into a vampire. So, tell me, what will be my fate this time? For what reason did that monster turn me into a soulless bloodsucker?" The resentment in my voice makes all the anger boil in my blood. Stefan seems to take pity on me, poor thing.

"Do you want to kill me to make him pay for the life he took from you?" Stefan is so understanding that it makes me want to vomit. I can kill him, and he wants to understand me. It's baffling how he's the brother of that psychopath.

"Killing you wouldn't give him even a third of what he deserves. I lost your life, killed my best friend during the transformation, and now I am being hunted by the clan that used to be my family." Saying this hurts in the soul, but you can't cry. Human emotions now seem so superficial.

"Almost all vampires go through this, dear, but they have the decency to attack the right person." Damon says behind you, and you smile. Finally, the rat is trapped in the mousetrap.

"You finally arrived at the party. I was starting to think your brother would die in your place." You say, while holding a stake in your hand.

"Your issue is with me, deal with me, and let him go. We can talk like adults, Y/N." Damon is so cynical it's laughable. He simply thinks he can get out of this situation with his fake charm. He could have done much better than that.

"You did this to me, tell me the reason, and your brother is free. No jokes or excuses. I want the truth, Salvatore." You continue to grip the wooden stake.

"You and I, we had a history. You asked me to make you forget. I couldn't let you die that way." Damon says, looking serious about it. What the hell is this?

"It can't be real... you're making up all this shit to deceive me." Something in you spirals out of control, as if it doesn't make sense. Him and you? It must be a joke. Damon gets close enough for the wooden stake in your hands to be aimed at his chest. Something stops you from killing him, but you still manage to land a punch on Damon's face. Congratulations, Y/N, you're definitely incompetent when it comes to annihilating a vampire.

He screams, perhaps more from the surprise of you managing to hurt him than from the pain itself. But unfortunately, your plan backfires. Damon catches up to you, and in an instant, your consciousness fades into darkness. At least you will die in peace. Until you feel a light calling you, or a voice with a light. Who knows, maybe it's God...You respond to the voice addressing you by your name, telling it to go to hell.

"Wake up, princess... I think you'll like the surprise." You finally open your eyes and see your personal nightmare smiling at you. Great, you've gone to hell, and the devil has taken on Damon's appearance.

"Not even dead I have peace..." You murmur as you feel your body stretched out. You are trapped by your legs, held down by a tree trunk.

"Darling, you're more alive than you think. Technically, you're dead, but being a vampire means eternal life, isn't it ironic?" Damon is a complete disaster in your life. He can't even serve to kill you.

"The Damon I've heard of would kill me for kidnapping his beloved brother and impaling him with a scythe, where is he?" You decide to provoke him to the point that he loses his temper.

"Your plan won't work, I'm a new man. Or a lighter version of what I used to be. But even the person I used to be wouldn't kill you." Damon responds in an enigmatic way.

"What are you going to do then, tough guy? Keep me here forever?" You add defiantly.

"If I knew, you wouldn't be hanging from a tree." Damon responds, his tone carrying a mix of frustration and resignation.

"Let me guess, your other moral compass can't know that you turned into vampire a good, innocent woman and then hung her from a tree like a piece of meat in a butcher shop?" You can tell you hit the mark by Damon's expression.

"Did you know that when you're quiet you look prettier?" Damon says as you swing from the tree. All you can think about is escaping.

"Go to hell with your compliment. I'm amazing at talking, hunting, and killing monsters like you." You retort aggressively.

"You're still the same woman you were in the past. Just as boring as before." You feel like you should fight back, but you are flooded with momentary memory. A blurry memory surfaces, where you were running in a forest. Your favorite bow in one hand and a wooden-tipped arrow in the other. The memory unfolds, Damon chasing you like a regular human being. In fact, everything in this memory feels oddly normal. You stop running to catch your breath and end up facing Damon. He stares at you for a few moments and then kisses you slowly. You succumb to his intoxicating lips as he lifts you off the ground. The whole recollection feels like a scene from a movie.

When you regain consciousness, you find yourself in someone's bed. You feel blood trickling from your nose. Stefan arrives in the room seconds later with a tissue in his hand.

"You finally woke up, I thought you were going to die. Damon brought you and since he still doesn't know how to explain who you are to him, I had to let you here." Stefan speaks naturally and you wonder what these idiots are planning by making you stay at their house.

"It looks like we're going to have to adapt to each other because I'm not going to leave here without knowing what these memories are and what they mean." You say, adjusting yourself on the bed and noticing that you are handcuffed to the bed.

"Welcome to the Salvatore mansion, here until you are considered a non-threat, you will be stuck with something. Understood?" Stefan says while get some blood for you. He puts some in your mouth, and you feel slightly relieved. But it triggers a trigger in you and once again you have a vision. This time with Stefan, in this vision, he's carrying you on his back. You wake up from the vision feeling so confused and even a little nauseous.

"Who the hell were you to me before?" You say looking at Stefan who looks as confused as you. It looks like your stay with the Salvatores is going to be a complex journey.

#tvd fanfiction #tvd universe #damon x reader #stefan salvatore x reader #damon salvatore fanfiction #damon salvatore x reader #enemies to lovers #strangers to lovers #Spotify

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firstchaplainerebus · 3 months

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The End and the Death Review

What even is there to say about it. It’s over. It has been magnificent.

Looking back on the Horus Heresy back when I started reading it, I can’t believe that this is where we ended up, with such an absolutely beautiful landing.

Whether you like, love or hate these books, they are an achievement without precedent. This kind of narrative, on this scale, with this word count, that amount of different authors, that vision… The fact that it was ever completed is in itself amazing.

The fact that not only it was completed, but in a way that stays true and respectful to existing lore while putting its own spin on it and remaining relevant to its mission statement 18 years ago(!!!!) is nothing short of miraculous.

This final book, written in its dizzying, inspiring present tense opens and closes with effortless grace. Dan Abnett nails the stakes of it all home, he draws the parallels, he twists the knife, again and then again, and again. He explores every urge and emotion, from heroic, to insane, to pathetic, to simply thirsting for life, to bloodthirsty, to nonchalant… Everyone is their best and worst selves simultaneously, every card that must be played is played.

From the desperate end of the siege, to the journey into the Vengeful Spirit, to the duel with Sanguinius and the final confrontation with the Emperor, the book is a constant nail biter and page turner. The stakes are simply too high to put the damn thing down.

There are plenty of Dan Abnettisms throughout, with wild concepts and lore additions (and callbacks to incredibly obscure tidbits of lore) being thrown at the reader consistently and without pause. I have no doubt I will forget most of this book until I have to read it again, and then I will be just as surprised as last time. This is not a bad thing. In an IP where the fandom is so religiously adherent to its version of the lore and characters, a good slap on the face to remind the fan base just who came up with all this crap in the first place is always welcome.

All in all, there is little to say to recommend this book, as its enjoyment hinges on reading upwards of 50 more of them. But what a journey, and what a relief it is, that all these endless hours and days of reading, re-reading, thinking and walking forlornly around town considering the plight of the Emperor and his sons ends as it was promised, with inglorious, raw tragedy, a testament of human folly and defiance both, and for a select few, just a little bit of comedy. The gods laugh, but Terra stands. And there is no way to adequately describe the Horus Heresy’s impact.

You just had to have been there, when Horus slew the Emperor.

#warhammer 40k #horus heresy #the end and the death

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jackoshadows · 2 years

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There’s two reasons for why the Stark ethos of ‘The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword’ is upheld as custom and tradition, passed down through generations of Starks from the times of the old Kings in the North.

One is, of course, the reasoning that Ned Stark gives Bran. If one is going to execute a man, one should look into their eyes and understand the weight of that decision. Killing a man or taking a life should not be an easy decision. We see this in practice with Jon Snow twice – once with Ygritte and once with the old man at Queenscrown, where he refuses to kill someone because it’s not right, even if the stakes are high.

More importantly, it is also political in how it firmly places the enforcement of justice in the hands of the Starks. By ensuring justice is meted out by the Starks and only the Starks, House Stark hammers into place their role as benevolent rulers maintaining law and order, peace and stability on their lands. The saying that ‘There must always be a Stark in Winterfell’ is partly connected to the Starks being the personal arbiters of justice. They don’t use executioners or headsmen – they do it themselves. Ned Stark personally went after Jorah Mormont to execute him for selling poachers into slavery. Alys Karstark went all the way to the Wall for help because a son of Ned Stark was there. As the Liddle says:

"When there was a Stark in Winterfell, a maiden girl could walk the kingsroad in her name-day gown and still go unmolested, and travelers could find fire, bread, and salt at many an inn and holdfast." – Bran, ASoS

Passing the sentence and swinging the sword is therefore not only about taking responsibility for a life, it’s also political in nature and about making the Starks one with the North and synonymous with justice. There is little difference between Stark justice and Northern justice. These themes are important, there’s a story being told here.

The dispensation of justice is also an important aspect of politics and administration in the North. Traditions and customs like Guest Right been set in stone for thousands of years. There’s a reason that the Freys in the North are treated uniformly with disgust and subjected to sneers and jokes.

We see aspects of this in Bran’s ACoK arc with the Harvest Festival where there is a gathering of lords at Winterfell to settle disputes and make alliances. For ex. in Robb’s absence, Ser Rodrik advises Hothor to form an alliance with the Manderlys to get the ships and shipwrights to fend off Wildling attacks. World of Ice and Fire mentions how the Starks arbitrated disputes for the Mountain Clans.

The clans of the Northern mountains are especially famed for their adherence to the laws of hospitality ... These clans ... owe their allegiance to the Starks, but their disputes have oft created difficulties for the Lords of Winterfell and the Kings of Winter before them, forcing them to send men into the mountains to quell the bloodshed (commemorated in such songs as "Black Pines" and "Wolves in the Hills"), or to summon the chiefs to Winterfell to argue their cases. -- The World of Ice and Fire

We read of some of these customs and traditions when Jon Snow advises Stannis Baratheon on how to approach the Mountain Clans and how his own father, Ned Stark dealt with them.

And finally the Stark most associated with justice in the books is Arya Stark. Arya is justice personified. Her kills are not wanton revenge. It’s punishment for their crimes. She is justice in an unjust world. The only kills that are outside the purview of true justice are the stable boy as she was escaping KL and the thin man/insurance agent’s death ordered by the FM and there we see her spend an entire chapter trying to justify the kill.

Whichever Stark will be taking over as the next Lord/Lady of Winterfell, Warden/Wardeness of the North or King/Queen in the North will have to swing the sword, simply because it is not just about understanding the weight of the life taken, but also politically important and necessary to keep and coalesce power in the hands of the Starks by projecting an image of how the Starks and only the Starks can maintain law and order and are therefore necessary for the good of the North.

#House Stark #Arya Stark #Jon Snow #Northern Justice #Stark Justice #Northern Politics

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downwiththeficness · 8 months

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Shadow and Veil-Chapter Seventeen

Summary: Eva Moore’s life was a carefully constructed fiction. Every day, she did exactly what her mother in law, her husband, and his best friend expected of her. No mistakes. And, that was going pretty well for Eva right up until a huge complication literally tried to run her over. Now, she’s faced with trying to keep the pieces of her life from falling apart while attempting (and failing) to keep her feelings for her husband’s new business partner at bay.

A/N: This fic is a sister-fic to A Need So Great and A Need Unleashed. You do not need to have read ANSG or ANU to read this fic, but there are Easter eggs from those fics in Shadow and Veil for readers with keen eyes. This fic is explicit for canon-compliant blood, gore, violence, and sex. As such, it is intended for an adult audience, only. A/B/O dynamics come with their own warning. Anyone under the age of 18 should not interact with this work. I do not consent to reposting this work to other platforms. Reblog only to Tumblr.

Word Count: ~4000

Start from the beginning Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Masterlist Read on AO3

She waited the agreed upon few days before making a trip to the library. Holding her Intro to Spanish book against her chest, Eva strode inside. They hadn’t discussed how the messages would be passed back and forth. No time to work out the details with the threat of being found out so close.

Turning down an aisle, Eva tried to put herself in Horacio’s mindset. It wasn’t exactly easy. Other than the barest details of where he was from and what he was doing in her life, Eva didn’t know that much about him.

She couldn’t help but to have doubts about whether or not she’d put her life into the hands of the right person. History had proven that she wasn’t the best judge of character and the stakes were too high for her to make this kind of error. She kept coming back to the conversation Horacio didn’t know she overheard, to the way he cut off any plan to use her as a tool for the investigation.

Horacio was a man on a mission, a man determined to close this case with an arrest and justice served. There was simply no other option, no other acceptable outcome. Eva was a key resource that he’d refused to tap in pursuit of his goal. He could have pushed her into testifying, threatened or bribed her to bend to his will.

But, he hadn’t.

Horacio gave her all the control, let her decide the terms of their relationship. He negotiated her wildly oscillating emotions and, at the same time, stubbornly held the line when it came to her safety. His dedication, in hindsight, was nothing less than baffling.

Eva didn’t know what to do with that kind of confusion. She supposed she would do exactly what she was doing now—looking for a message in the non-fiction section. Another ten minutes or so passed like this, Eva meandering through the stacks aimlessly while she looked for clues. Eventually, she had to resign herself to the knowledge that she would need a little help.

Swinging around the corner, Eva headed for the circular desk in the center of the library. Behind it sat a middle aged woman who was carefully checking a stack of books back into the system before setting them on a rolling cart to be returned to their proper shelf. Eva didn’t recognize her, but she looked friendly enough.

Eva approached with a smile and held up her book, “Hi, I’d like to check this out again.”

The librarian returned the smile, “Of course. Any others catch your fancy?”

“Um, no,” Eva replied, “But, I thought maybe you might have something for me. My name is Eva Moore.”

It was a reach, a shot in the dark. But, Eva was more anxious about leaving Horacio waiting for her than she was about asking stupid questions in a nearly empty library.

Leaning forward, the librarian said, “I’m Margaret. Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about having something for you.”

Eva’s heart dropped a little in disappointment. It looked like she was going to have to keep trying. Nevertheless, she’d been there for half an hour at least already and she didn’t have much more time between meetings. She would have to come back tomorrow and see if she could figure out where the message was hidden.

“Do you like music, dear?”

Thrown by the odd change in topic, Eva shrugged, “A little.”

Margaret reached over and picked up an eight by three card from a small stack on the desk, “There’s this new group playing our charity event next week. Maybe you’ve heard of them. Stag Nation?”

Brows lifting, Eva almost smiled, “Yes, I’ve heard of them.”

“A bit too rock and roll for my taste, but their singer is just lovely.” She handed Eva the card, “You should stop by, maybe make a donation.”

Eva nodded, “I’ll do that, thank you.”

“Wonderful,” Margaret chirped, “Here’s your book. You’ve got it for another two weeks.”

Thanking Margaret, Eva took the book and tucked it against her chest again. It wasn’t until she got to the parking lot that she realized the card in her hand was probably how Horacio sent the message. Eagerly, she dropped into the seat of her car and read it over.

She read it over again.

If there was a coded message in it, Eva was hopeless as she tried to decipher it. Frustrated, she sighed and tossed the card into the passenger’s seat. She picked up the book in her lap and went to do the same with it, pausing when she caught the edge of a bookmark peeking out from the pages.

Opening the book to the marked page, Eva checked the little piece of cardstock for writing or anything unusual in the type. Nothing. Just a standard bookmark with the library’s information on it. She threw it atop the Stag Nation invite.

And that’s when she noted the post it note. Yellow. Standard size. On it was writing that was neat and orderly. A date. A time. An address. Eva smiled as she read it over. Then, she closed the book and started the engine.

The rest of her meetings for the day were a blur of note taking and pretending that being asked to make coffee didn’t make her want to toss a cup of it into their face. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about the post it, wouldn’t even touch the book again, until she pulled into the driveway of the house.

After throwing it into her purse, Eva slung the bag over her shoulder and walked inside. At the door, she listened for an indication that there was someone else in the house. Josh hadn’t paid her any attention since the night of the party and Alexei seemed to have disappeared, as well.

She didn’t know what was discussed in The Lounge that night, or why Josh felt the need to call an emergency meeting. There was nothing on the books that indicated any shift within the company—no large sum of money transferring to one of the off shore accounts, no unusual expenses. There weren’t even any complaints from one of their employees.

It had to be the new project Josh was working on. Eva cringed as she thought about it and what the consequences of a success would mean for others like her. If Horacio already delivered the product, Josh would be running tests on it. One or more of those tests would be given to omegas under the guise of a federally funded clinical trial.

The only silver lining about the whole thing was that it would take months for Josh to synthesize a viable product. Eva hoped that Horacio would have his investigation wrapped up by that time.

There were no sounds, no footsteps, no voices. The house felt empty. Eva released a soft breath and she pulled off her shoes. The ache in her feet eased as she ascended the staircase. It was echoed by the bruising that was still healing along her side. Every day it got better, but Eva still made herself look at it in the mirror so that she didn’t forget why she was doing what she was doing.

As Eva cleared the landing she heard the drag of something heavy against carpet. She froze, listening intently. Another soft scrape—it was coming from Josh’s office. From this angle, Eva couldn’t see the if the door was open or closed.

Setting her purse and shoes aside, Eva tip toed along the well-mapped path towards Josh’s office. Each step was deliberate. Silent. She turned the corner into the upstairs hallways just in time to see the door open to Myra’s surprised face.

“Eva,” she yelped, “I thought you were at work.”

“I was,” Eva replied, “My last meeting ended early.” Then, “What are you doing in Josh’s office?”

She stumbled over her words before settling on, “I was looking for a print out of the raffle winners so that I could send them a thank you note.”

Eyes narrow, Eva felt her disbelief crawl over her expression, “Peggy has that information. You know that.”

“She said she gave it to Josh.”

“Why would she do that?” When Myra went to lie again, she cut her off, “Why are you really here?”

Myra’s mouth pursed in frustration, “Josh has been keeping secrets. Some new initiative that he won’t talk about.”

Eva shook her head, “He’s allowed to have his hobbies.”

“Not when it affects the company,” Myra bit out.

“He’s the CEO.”

“I’m the chair of the Board.”

“I don’t see how that matters.”

Myra huffed, “Because we are at risk for an audit—IRS, OIG, the whole alphabet soup of governmental agencies. They’re weeks away from a documents request.”

Eva stared at her, trying to discern if she was aware of the other investigation, “How do you know that?”

Tossing her head, Myra answered, “You think Josh is the only one with friends in high places?”

Fair enough.

“Those friends,” Eva hedged, “did they tell you why they were investigating?”

Myra crossed her arms and leaned against the door jamb, “Embezzlement, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“Among some other minor issues.”

Eva took a calming breath, “And, you were in his office…?”

“To find your financial files.”

She didn’t know if Myra would be able to decipher the books well enough to spot where Eva moved their money, or how she protected it from being discovered. The IRS and OIG would have a significantly higher chance of figuring it out.

“What were you going to with them?”

Myra shrugged.

A little voice in Eva’s head whispered angrily. Out loud, she said, “You were going to destroy them.”

A shocked ‘no’ shot out from Myra’s lips, “I was hoping to head off the investigation. Give them something to chew on to that their superiors would back off.”

Eva almost believed her. Almost. It wouldn’t be the financial documents she filed every month that would tip off whichever agency took lead on the case. They were pristine—she’d seen to that. Which left a suspicion that Eva was not prepared to voice, nor make accusations about.

She stepped to the side, “You need to talk to Josh about this. I’ll give you a few days to sit down with him. After that, I’ll tell him, myself.”

“Eva,” Myra pleaded, “this is serious.”

“I know,” she replied easily, “That’s why Josh needs to be pulled in. He’ll never forgive you if he’s blindsided by this.”

Visibly swallowing, Myra nodded, “We’ll go out to dinner this week. I’ll tell him.”

“Good.”

Saying nothing, Eva went and got her purse and shoes from where she’d left them and trudged to her room. Only when she was safely behind the closed door did she let out a hiss of anger through her teeth. Throwing the bag on the bed and the shoes on the floor, Eva’s mind whirred with a thousand angry thoughts.

She stopped.

Standing in the middle of her room with her hands on her hips, Eva just...stopped. Whatever Myra might be planning was immaterial when it came to her plans. She had a goal to meet and had to keep her eyes on that goal until it was achieved. Myra was a distraction she didn’t have time to look into.

Intro to Spanish peeked out at her from the depths of her purse. Eva eyed it as she thought about the other distraction in her life. Really, she shouldn’t be entertaining Horacio, either. Meeting him was a massive risk that she shouldn’t undertake.

Eva was still going to meet him.

She tipped her head back and sighed towards the ceiling. Eva was such an idiot, but she was going to meet him. Not because she wanted his help with getting her out of her marriage—which she did. That wasn’t all of it.

Eva was going to meet him because of the way he looked at her. Her mind drifted back to his face cast in the glow of moonlight. Open and vulnerable, he lost all the sharp edges that kept others at bay. She recalled the reverence of his hands as he touched her side and the wide honesty in his eyes.

Horacio might be playing the part of Diego, but only when he had to. As soon as they were alone, the disguise fell away and Eva was left with a man who confounded everything she knew. An alpha who hadn’t once tried to assert himself as such. A law enforcement officer who was willing to let Eva, a criminal, slip away while he sought out a larger target. A person who had—not once—harmed her, threatened her, talked down to her.

She was going to see him because she needed to know that such a person existed outside of her little bubble of a life. Eva, for the first time in so long, had hope. This small, but growing, hope was more dangerous to Eva than her husband, than even Alexei.

Eva didn’t care.

She was going to meet him.

And, that’s what she did. On the assigned date, at the assigned time, Eva pulled into the small parking lot of a nearby wilderness reserve. She got out of the car and locked it, scanning the area for Horacio.

It was a lovely day. Fall hadn’t yet set in, but the heat of Summer was abating. A cool wind blew through trees whose leaves were just starting to turn. All around her, people were enjoying the weather. There were mothers playing with their children, dogs fetching toys from the grass. Eva smiled as she took it in.

Leaning against the side of her car, she crossed her arms and waited. Horacio would find her eventually. In the meantime, Eva could think about what she might tell him when he did.

Eva wasn’t surprised by the fact that there were concurrent investigations in to Ardent. She was being smart about moving their money around, but Josh’s insistence on this new project of his had forced her to make moves with the accounts that would definitely be noticed. The fact that Myra hadn’t yet told Josh made Eva think that the investigators were further along than Myra let on.

Despite the fact that Eva agreed not to make any moves without Horacio, she was already picking up the small caches of money stashed around the city. There were two or three left, one of which she would have to be extremely careful in retrieving. After that, she would get her passport from Josh’s safe and drive like hell to the airport. And that’s where her plan got a little fuzzy.

She didn’t know where she would go once she actually walked up to the desk to buy her ticket. Alexei had resources, would go just about anywhere to track someone down. Leaving the country wasn’t going to be enough to deter him. And, even if she flew to the ends of the earth, Eva’s passport could be tracked.

Having the cash would help. The bills stacked neatly in the duffle with the dress still carrying Horacio’s scent would be all she had. After it was gone, Eva would have to figure out how to keep herself alive with the skills she’d developed working for Josh.

It was doubtful that anyone would let her be an accountant, or work at the level she was accustomed. But, Eva would definitely excel at secretarial work. She could take the condescension of an incompetent boss if it meant she got to live with a small modicum of freedom.

Footsteps drew her attention. Horacio sauntered up with a fond smile, stopping just short of her. Eva dropped her arms and straightened as she looked him over. He was wearing a button up that was less Horacio and more Diego. The fabric shimmered lightly as it molded around his shoulders and chest. It was tucked into a pair of slacks that were tailored to his frame. The hem perfectly draped over a pair of blue leather shoes that had been on display at a high end department store a few weeks back.

“You’re not dressed for a hike,” Eva said.

Without missing a beat, Horacio replied, “Neither are you.”

She looked down at the sundress she was wearing. Eva debated putting on a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt that morning, but something about the delicately embroidered flowers called to her. And, of course, she had to wear the espadrilles to match.

“You have a point.”

Horacio held out his hand, “Take a walk with me.”

His palm was warm against hers. Eva followed behind him as he led her to a paved path into the trees. As she walked, his scent curled into her nose. Eva took deep breaths of it, enjoying the way her body responded.

The hair on her arms the back of her neck stood on end. Her heart palpitated in her chest, sending heated blood into every extremity. Instincts that Eva didn’t even believe she had not too long ago rose up and demanded that she slow him down so that she could pull him into her body—a body that was reminding her that she hadn’t been able to kiss him for almost a week.

Horacio slowed as they approached a bench and motioned for her to sit, “How are you?”

Eva blinked away the fantasy of scraping her teeth over the nape of his neck, “I’m fine.”

Easing down onto the bench, he fixed her with a disbelieving look.

“The injuries weren’t serious,” Eva explained, “I’m all healed up.”

He sighed as he rested his arm across the back of the bench, “I’m not talking about the bruises, although I am glad they’re healing.”

The way his fingers brushed against the bare skin of her back was distracting, “What are you talking about?”

“I asked you not to make any moves.”

“I haven’t.”

“That means you were supposed to act as normal.”

“I have.”

“You haven’t been shopping.”

“What does that mean?”

Horacio looked out towards the lake in front of them, “It means that you’re deviating from your routine. You need to go pick up some expensive pair of shoes or purse, do what you’ve done all along. Otherwise, your husband and his friends are going to get suspicious.”

Eva’s mouth curled as she bit back the venom that wanted to spill forth.

He glanced sideways at her, “Say it.”

“Say what?”

“The inside thought you’re holding back. Say it.”

Passing her hand over her brow, Eva did as he asked, “I’m balancing a lot of obligations right now—to my husband, to myself...to you. I am facing the possibility of jail, if Josh doesn’t kill me first. You’re going to have to forgive me if I’m not in the mood to shop.”

Horacio smiled, “Its good to see that there is still some fight left in you.”

“Fuck off,” she bit out.

He laughed and her stomach flipped in her belly. Eva was irritated with him, but the sound of his amusement went a long way to soothe that irritation. She fought to hold onto it and failed. And that made her irritated all over again.

“I’m doing the best I can.”

Horacio touched her shoulder, “I know.” Then, “Honestly, you’re handling this a lot better than I thought you would.”

“Gee, what a compliment.”

His touch lingered, “It was a compliment.”

Embarrassed by the sincerity in his eyes, Eva looked towards the lake. There were ducks swimming peacefully in a row—babies following their mother. A few fishermen were casting their lines on the opposite shore. People and animals, alike, unaware of the untenable situation she and Horacio were facing.

“Are you aware of the IRS and OIG investigations?”

He nodded.

“Then, you know they’re getting ready for a document review. Documents that I prepared.”

Another nod.

“Myra knows. She’s going to tell Josh in a few days.”

Horacio rolled a shoulder, “He won’t take that well.”

“No, he won’t. I have no idea what he will do with that information.”

“I do,” he replied.

Eva looked at him, “What?”

Horacio licked his lips and his hand flattened against her shoulder blade, “He’s going to try to pin it on you.”

Her mouth opened in shock. Eva had her suspicions, especially after talking to Myra, but to hear it said out loud set her back on her heels. Horacio hummed a soothing noise as his hand ran up her shoulder to the back of her neck where he squeezed gently. Eva leaned into the pressure as she accepted what he said as fact.

“So, I am going to jail.”

“No,” Horacio contradicted, “Not if I can help it.”

She rolled her eyes, “You won’t get a choice. Not if he’s done the job right. I handled all the books, bribed government officials.”

“And your husband,” he added, “used that money to fund illegal drug trials and run an opiate ring that will soon expand into a second state.”

Eva shook her head, “We’re both culpable.”

“No,” he said again as he slid closer to her, “I saw him hurting you on several occasions. I’m willing to testify that he used physical violence to coerce you.”

Her jaw set as she prepared to be fully honest with him, “That’s not truth. Not really. I’m good at it, Horacio. Very good. I liked the puzzle of moving the money, of hiding everything we were doing behind layers of protection and deals brokered behind closed doors. And, that’s the truth.” She paused to take a breath, “It was the thing that kept me going.”

Until I met you, she didn’t say. That would be too honest.

Horacio gave a very small smile, “I’ve learned a lot working with your people. Their policies and procedures. The way they think about criminals and the way they go about their business.” He leaned close, “I also learned that they don’t care about the truth. They care about finding someone to blame.”

He wasn’t wrong. But, there would be something he needed from her to make it happen.

“Only if I testify, right?”

The resignation in his expression told her all the answers she needed to know. Eva blew out a breath and stood from the bench. They had nothing to talk about and she needed to be getting home.

Horacio followed her onto the path that led to the parking lot, “Eva, wait.”

Over her shoulder, she said, “I’m not testifying.”

He caught up to her, stopped her with a hand on her elbow, “I’m not asking you to.”

Eva swung around to face him, “Then, what are you asking me to do?”

They stood there, heavy breaths between them. Impatient, Eva made a kind of ‘well?’ gesture with one hand. It was a dare for him to tell her the truth of what he wanted. To be as honest with her as she had been with him.

Horacio shifted on his feet, but said nothing.

Disappointed, Eva stepped away, “That’s what I thought.”

Chest aching with rejection, Eva strode away. She got into her car and started the engine. After pulling out of the parking lot, Eva drove the whole way back to the house in silence. Then, she walked inside and headed straight for her room.

In her closet, Eva reached to the very back and opened the duffle. Beneath the piles of money, she found her dress. Refusing to bring the fabric to her nose, Eva took it straight to the washing machine and threw it in. She added more soap than was strictly necessary and then shut the lid firmly.

Standing against the wall of the laundry room, Eva watched the machine move through its cycle. It was wrong to put so much hope into Horacio and it was wrong to expect him to bend to her will. He had rules to follow, laws that kept him walking the line. Laws that Eva had broken time and again.

If she was going to get out of this house, out of her marriage, Eva was going to have to rely on herself. That was all there was to it.

#Shadow and Veil #Narcos #Horacio Carrillo #carrillo #AU #A/B/O dynamics #maurice compte

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notjustyourhealers · 1 year

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Cat's Go-To Cozy Games

Screenshot by the author.

I'm one of those people that might best be referred to as "high-strung." I'm constantly obsessing about my work, my chores, my family, and all the other moving parts of my life, to the point that it gets a bit difficult to relax.

So, of course, I turn to video games. Specifically, I tend to play a lot of cozy games - sims, worldbuilding, low-stakes survival, that kind of thing. It makes me happy to create a little virtual life with low-stakes adventures I can enjoy at my leisure without the pressure of competition or timed events.

If you, like me, are looking for a way to wind down, I've got a couple of recommendations.

Stardew Valley

Screenshot by the author.

Stardew Valley is the classic cozy game. It's got everything: cutesy retro graphics, a little town, a customizable farm, cute animals that you can name and pet, magic and mystery, and sprinklings of romance.

I've played well over 300 hours of this game in the last few years and I'll happily play 300 more. I still haven't found every secret! On top of that, this game has one of the most helpful and welcoming communities on the internet, which is lovely.

Slime Rancher (1 & 2)

If you're a fan of self-guided adventures with adorable characters, Slime Rancher (both the original and the sequel, which is currently in early access) should be your go-to. It's a game all about taking care of precious little blob creatures with different themes. The soundtrack is incredibly relaxing, the story is bittersweet and relies on exploration, and the mechanics of the game are simple to pick up and consistent across games.

My personal favorite character is bOb, and no, I will not elaborate beyond saying that he likes chickens and that's the best thing ever.

Minecraft

Image from Mojang.

Yes, it's a meme. Yes, it's totally worth it. There's something ridiculously relaxing about wandering through a cuboidal world, making a little house, interacting with villagers, digging through caves, getting pet cats, and seeing what else the game has to offer.

For the ultimate relaxing experience, I recommend playing in peaceful mode and simply building a massive farm.

Travellers Rest

Screenshot by the author.

Love the idea of a business sim, but make it fantasy? Then Travellers Rest is the best possible game for you. It's a low-stakes fantasy game where you run the tavern that adventurers go to between adventures. You can cook food, brew drinks, rent out bedrooms, and craft interesting new furniture to make your tavern even better. And there's a cat!

The game is still being updated and created in early access, so if you jump in now, you get to influence how the game is created, which is just awesome.

Armello

Image from League of Geeks.

Armello is a digital board game with a cool fantasy premise: you're playing to take the throne from a king corrupted by evil magic called Rot. You play as a variety of cute (and sometimes a bit spooky) animals from various houses each with different abilities and powers in the game.

It's low-stakes even when playing against your friends, the music is beautiful, the art style reminds me of the Redwall books, and it's perfect for people who love board games in person.

Cozy Games Rule

I know there's a stigma about girls only playing "cute" games, but the truth is they're perfect for anyone and everyone who wants to take a little time to chill. Cozy games are meant to be comforting, so why not let anyone enjoy them if they want to? I think we could all use a little comfort nowadays.

#gaming #cozy games #stardew valley #minecraft #slime rancher #armello #travellers rest #women in gaming #mod cat

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djservo · 11 months

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HI it's that time again end of the month it's warming up it's almost summer how did your may reading go, what's on your list for the summer?

the thread vaguely weaving together may's reads: sex, anger, and neocolonialism

YES the rumors are true YES I slashed my standard (as of the last couple years) reading goal from 50 books to a humble 36 SIGH I have two wolves inside me telling me 1. to commit fully to the bit and 2. to trust my gut/instincts — with enough willpower I could force myself to hunker down and become a lean mean reading machine just to barely scrape by with an even 50 by the end of december for some imaginary accolade/clout/tradition on Amazon-Owned Goodreads Dot Com, or I could #BeReal with myself and accept my reading habits of the past few months as a litmus test of how things have been going + so shall continue to be. I'd rather not turn my goal (and thus reading as a whole) into this looming monster that taunts me ykwim especially when the point is enjoyment so TLDR . we're being Real and Intentional and Downsizing <3 ONTO MAY'S READS, FULL OF HITS BABY!

Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill

I was reading this around the time I watched this vintage gay erotica Equation to an Unknown (1980) where one of the reviews succinctly says it's "Erotic ennui" — this kinda perfectly sums up the vibe of this short story collection. sex-tinged dramas, though not melodramatic, not edge-of-your-seat high stakes, but just enough entangled emotional transactions to feel as if you're on the precipice of something only to be left in the cold. I'd been meaning to read Secretary for a while now and somehow didn't connect that this was the short story collection it came from?? kismet! I have a friend who doesn't like watching black-and-white movies or pretty much anything pre-80s because they "look so old" (bless her heart) — often (moreso lately) I feel the inverse of that with movies post 2000s where sometimes everything looks/feels too new and sleek and sometimes the mere sight of a cell phone is enough to turn me off. all this to say, I did try watching Secretary but turned it off after 15 minutes bc it didn't feel right at the moment and I wanted to sit with the tepid yet strangely alluring bubble of the original story a little longer. the last story was my favorite and made me cry lolol

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

there's nothing I could say that would do this justice GOD I'm obsessed with this! somehow I've read every Bechdel work Except any of dtwof, but I'm glad I waited to read it in this collective form rather than in bits + pieces. I love all the details and references Bechdel puts into every panel — I swear I must've added like 20 books to my TBR list while reading Fun Home — and how effortlessly the state of US politics gets weaved into the background of their lives in a way that really puts you in that time and place. there's clearly so much love and humor and dedication she has for her community, but I love how she doesn't shy away from community in-fighting and hypocrisies — the desire to live a happy and fulfilled life without being a liberal "sellout" queer, and what that even means depending on who you are etc etc. it's also strangely assuring to read these arguments and discussions amongst the friends and how relevant and fresh it all still feels? like we're still having the same arguments and worrying about the same things decades later and it sucks but there's also this string of consistent humanity threading it together idk we're never alone in our experiences n time is a circle n all that jazz. loved that no character felt wasted or sidelined for the sake of a "greater" plot, loved how even the children and men had their own motives/personalities, SIMPLY LOVED IT ALL + I'M HEARTBROKEN IT'S OVER! </3 (though I read they're doing an audible version soon with a buncha celebs so I'm Intrigued by that)

Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn

Magnolia (1999) but for Filipinos!! thrumming with chaos and desperation and anger. Similar to Bad Behavior with its lack of loose ends being tied up nicely at the end. I fear I'm too cynical nowadays to put much weight in "representation" and the corporate intentions that back it, hallmark movie endings with a very glossed-over + white-approved "see? we're just like you!" message. that sentiment is not present here whatsoever, and I adore Jessica Hagedorn for that. unhealthy family dynamics and power structures and the curse that is American colonialism thrusting itself into your very concept of what you want in life. obviously (and unfortunately) Many can connect to that, but this book is so distinctly FIlipino, so specific and dedicated to a Filipino experience, that I can only laugh at negative reviews from (white) people complaining about what an incomprehensible mess it is or how there should've been a glossary to explain certain terms and aspects of Filipino culture, etc etc. I'd like to think it was intentional of Hagedorn to omit a glossary or footnotes or much explanation at all — a big FUCK YOU / THIS ISN'T FOR YOU and I love it. could even argue that that was one of the messages at the core of each of these intertwining stories. I read The Gangster of Love and watched the play in college and was equally floored with its anger at the world, how it kinda spits in your face when you're waiting for conventions or comfort. love love loved this so much, I do not mean it lightly when I say Miss Hagedorn is my hero

+ 2 journal articles

The Bedroom of Things by Caitlin Blanchfield and Farzin Lotfi-Jam — bedroom as theater + the performance of our living spaces as we portray them in images for the spectatorship of others; connecting our interior lives to physical things/commodities as manifestations of the self

The Transnational Ga(y)ze: Constructing the East European Object of Desire in Gay Film and Pornography after the Fall of the Wall by Nicholas F. Radel — pretty much exactly as the title suggests, the effect the fall of the wall/shift away from communism had in gay porn and general (gay) media depictions of East European men. desire constructed through a nationalistic standpoint, the hierarchies of power at play. I watched a few documentaries this month that would pair nicely for a little lecture on sex work + communism in East Europe: The Fall of Communism as Seen in Gay Pornography (1998) dir. William E Jones; Not Angels But Angels (1994) dir. Wiktor Grodecki; Body Without Soul (1996) dir. Wiktor Grodecki

Currently reading Pornotopia by Paul B. Preciado and I'm about to take a trip which will mark my first time traveling with my kindle so I'm excited for that hehe I have a buncha books downloaded but my priority is getting into Dennis Cooper bc I've been meaning to for so long and I feel like several movies I watched this month had been likened to Dennis Cooper vibes in the reviews + I even saw someone on insta reading The Sluts so if that's not all a sign to finally get with it, then IDK what is!

#asks #cheesehair #reads

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sadculturee · 5 months

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AINUN'S FILM REVIEW

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES

Ratings: 9.7/10

It was an emotionally conflicting experience watching President Snow's character development and eventual rise to power when they have freaking Tom Blyth playing the protagonist. I am going to need a few nights to render my thoughts and resolve my moral dilemma 🙂 ✌️. All throughout the film, I cannot help but imagine the Tumblr uproar if this were to be released in 2010-2014. I just know Tumblr girlies (me included) would be completely insufferable, simping over yet another problematic fictional man.

Full disclaimer though, I haven't yet read the book (I will), so my whole review is going to be based on my first time experiencing his story and the film only. Minor Spoiler Alert!

Right off the bat, very surprising (but obviously expected) this film absolutely nailed it. Once again, a Hunger Games movie outmatched previous releases and broke the bad-sequel curse. It would've been a solid 10/10 from me if it didn't push me into a spiral of moral dilemma over Snow's actions and how GORGEOUS he looked when he was younger (/joke) (/but not really) (damn you, Tom Blyth).

Truly, Francis Lawrence did his magic once more, the whole deliverance of the story was a cinematic blessing. The fight scenes and the tension built up before and after the games had me on my feet, gripping the edge of my seat, terrified yet enthralled by what was about to happen. Having read and watched the trilogy, I have a slight notion of how the ending would be. Whatever happens, Snow will survive and rise as the most powerful victor in all of Panem. And to know that, whilst watching the games and his exile story played out, honestly terrifies me.

Having the story laser-focused (and very well written) on the main villain had me occasionally losing myself in his emotions and perspective, I lost grip on the reality of the abuse and oppression The Capitol inflicted on all 12 districts and their people, with The Hunger Games as the peak reminder of their terrors, showing the people who're actually in power. I found myself empathizing with Snow's character during some of his vulnerable moments. For a moment I imagined if only people were nicer, if his circumstances were a little bit more ideal, Snow would have grown up to be a better person (which obviously was a terribly false assumption as this man is honestly devil reincarnated).

ALSO, as a self-proclaimed musical addict, I simply cannot write this review without giving my highest praise to Rachel Zegler, Dave Cobb and James Newton Howard for perfecting the film with their music. Every time Zegler starts singing, I get goosebumps all over. Her verses and emotions took hold of my entire body and moved me to feel whatever emotions the creators wanted me to feel. Midway, I felt like Zegler's decision to pursue acting instead of singing should make hit singers grateful because she would sweep them away so quickly with that voice and talent 🥹.

The film perfectly mirrors how fights against oppression are often harshly labelled as unjust terrors or savage rebellions, deserving of brutal punishments by the ruling governments. Regardless of how these "rebellions" were simply a desperate attempt for the oppressed to survive another day. When the stakes are too high, beyond their control, and the prospect of a better future is bleak, they would have nothing more to lose. Fighting would be the only option they have. It would be either fight or die. A literal, real-life hunger game where the whole world is your arena. And considering current global events, the release of this film feels extremely fitting. Which raises one big question: "If you can stand with the rebels fighting for justice, against immoral and inhumane rulings in movies and books, why won't you stand for them in real life?"

The movie ended with Snow finally getting a spot in The Capitol, a near guarantee of a successful future, with his grandmother and Tigris by his side congratulating him. Not going to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn't watched the film, but I'm just gonna say that in that scene I so wish I could hear both Tigris and Snow's inner thoughts and emotions.

In conclusion, I regret not watching this movie sooner and totally recommend all dystopian fiction fans to watch in the theaters!

#hunger games #the hunger games #tom blyth #lucy gray baird #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #film review #movie review #dystopian fiction #essay #ainun's movie review

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popculturebuffet · 1 year

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Into The Spider-Verse: Spider-Man, Miles Morales (Ultimate Fallout #4, Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #1-5)

Hello all you happy wallcrawlers! It's time to once again swing into the Spider-Verse as we cover the various people who've worn the mask across the merry marvel multiverse, all building to a look at Into The Spider-Verse in time for it's sequel.

So naturally after looking at the humble origins of the first spidey as he battled with loneliness, fame, dead uncles and of course Crackers and Milk, it's only fair we look at the actual protaganist of the film, the ultimate spider-man, the one the only Miles Morales!

To properly get into Miles and his origins in the comics though we have to talk about the world he was created for: The Ultimate Universe. The Ultimate Universe was the idea of then editor Bill Jemas, who felt Marvel's massive continuity could be daunting to the new readers the company badly needed after the comics crash and marvel's subsquent bankruptcy.

So he tapped writer Brian Micheal Bendis. Starting with Spidey.. honestly makes perfect sense to me, as while a major part of the marvel universe, his corner is diverse and unique enough to carry itself and to see if this could work, something EIC Joe Quesada had doubts about, doubts he somehow didn't have later for the character when he decided "Huh you know I don't like his marriage because my ship didn't win, maybe I should just have satan break it up eh?", born of a previous attempt, not helped by Bendis famous love of using decompressed storytelling, i.e. spreading a story out over several issues instead of packing it into one or two barring big sagas.

Despite these doubts from Quesada and from Artist Mark Bagely.. the book was a MASSIVE hit. It likely helped Ultimate's stripped down back to basics peter was a RELIEF after the complex shenanignas of the clone saga nad after. It was just what people loved: a down on his luck kid dealing with usual life struggles while also having to fight crime on top of that. It had a bunch of nice updates too that would become a staple of adaptations from here on out: Harry Osborn being a close friend from the start, MJ being a high school friend of peters, and Aunt May being a cool old lady instead of on the precipice of death, something that would carry over. This success helped revitalize the main spider-man with JMS' fantastic run.. that granted petered out into Sins Past and One MOre Day, but both are stories for another day.

Ultimate Spider-Man was such a hit the universe naturally expanded.. and that became a problem. See Bendis' ultimate spider-man really nailed the idea of the ultimate universe, a clean slate allowing the writers to really play around with things, while not threatning the main universe. Death was permenant, the stakes were high and it allowed new fans a godo start. Sure it buitl up it's own complex story, but with graphic novels plentefiul, it was easy to keep up. I read a good chunk of it in my teens and loved it and it seems to mostly still hold up.

The problem is out of the three spinoffs only one really got what you could do with the concept, Ultimate Fantastic Four, which simply made the team all teens connected to a fancy think tank while keeping the tight knit "family of choice" dynamic and adventure, simply in a more grounded context.

The other two were by mark millar

I'm not a fan of his, and these books are a large reason why. Ultimate X-Men is a mixed bag, having good ideas, such as a teenage storm and nightcrawler ala evolution along with a gay colossus, and the more military costumes ala new x-men, and is a book i'd love to review sometime now i'm more deeply entreinched in x-men, especially since I read that as a teen too, on the wohle it's got a LOT of edgelord in it's dna, with Jean sleeping with a 40 something year old wolverine, Wolverine trying to murder cyclops to get to jean, and Magneto being simply a racist dickhead. It has great parts and Brian K Vaughn's run after Millar's is even better, but it's just a bit too edgy for it's own good.

Ultimates however…

Ultimates is fucking awful. The designs and art are top notch, Thor , Cap , Hawkeye and Nick Fury all got their MCU designs here, but the actual story is a bunch of edgelord bullshit. IT's clear Millar at least had SOME respect for the x-men, but he hated the avengers and it shows: Tony is constantly drunk, Thor is a new agey asshole, Hawkeye and Black Widow are black ops murderers, and grossly the scarlet witch and quicksilver are mostly defiend by being a couple.

He also pissed me off personally as a fan of the ant family by making Jan an airhead, and making Hank's abuse and inferiority complex his entire character instead of the worst moment of life and his greatest flaw respectively, and had him ATTEMPT TO MURDER JAN. As you can probably guess i'll also have to tackle this at some point, and I wouldn't be suprised if one of my patrons inflicted this on me at some point via comission. Oh and of course we have Captain America, whose a racist sexist jingoistc asshole because Millar REALLY hates the character and considered the idealistic depecition of him being a progressive "unrelaistic. " It's bad and we'll get to it.

This edgelord apporach to these books worked at first as early 2000's audeinces ate that shit up, but eventually it reached it's apex, ironically after Millar had left. He was replaced by Jeph LOeb, who I don't care for as much these days but HAS made good stories. His ultimate work.. seems to be truly awful, with the confusing mess that was ultimates 3 and the utter nightmare that was ultimatium.

Ultimatium was a crossover event.. that started the universes march to death. Granted it took a while for it to kick in, but this crossover wrecked it so throughly it never really recovered> It was an edgelord mess where magneto killed most of new york, blob ATE the wasp on panel, and dozens upon dozens of characters died, with the x-men and ff utterly decimated and scattered as a result.

It killed Charles Xavier and Magneto which COULD'VE been intresting.. but in practice it just lead to more mediocre stories, a status quo no one liked, and exttra super duper mutant prejudice that was somehow legally legislated.

So why hash all of this out. It's simple, while the Ultimate Universe was in it's slow years long death spiral that would cumilate in the universe being wiped out in secret wars, though it may be making a comeback with Ultimate Invasion, there was one part of it that caught massive attention, did great sales and was critically loved. Just as he was the one to jumpstart the universe, Spider-Man was likely what kept it alive as long as it did, only the costume, and the person inside it both changed.

Miles came from editor axel alonso floating around the idea of a black spider-man in the ultimate universe shortly after Barack Obama won presdiency, though they decided not to introduce him post ultimatium as planned to give them time to work out the story for this. Bendis was further inspired by Donald Glover showing up in spider-man pajamas during the first episode of season 2 of community, a nod to Glover trying out for Amazing Spider-Man and somehow not getting the part. Glover would continue to be an influence on the character, and got to voice him in Ultimate Spider-Man and play his uncle aaron in Spider-Man Homecoming. Artist Sarah Pichelli designed his now iconic costume, smartly giving him the awesome looking black and red look, with the two color sbecome a staple of any version of miles costume while also serving as a nice nod to spider-man's orignal colors.

So now we have the behind the scenes stuff out of the way how did a 13 year old, yes really, from Brooklyn become the Ultimate Spider-Man? What happened to the previous one? And will anyone actually accept miles in the role? All valid questions, so swing with me under the cut as here comes a spider-man.

So naturally for Miles to take over… Peter Parker had to go. In this universe he was still a teen as like most comics despite a decade and change worth of continuity at this point, time moved slowly. But his life was going pretty well: he finally got back with Mary Jane Watson after a long time hinting towards it, Gwen Stacey, his friend and live in roomate, long story, forgave him, and after ultimatium new york loved the hell out of him.

So naturally this being spider-man, this coudlnt' last and soon his precious little life.. came to a tragic and epic end. This Peter was the character who really made Bendis' career, for better and for worse, so if he was going to die, Bendis was going to have him go down epically.

Like in our universe Peter's worst foe was the Green Goblin, only here he was more of a monster man and less a creepy guy in a suit, but no less psychotic or obessive, having attempted to kill MJ, actually killed his own son and peter's best friend, and in general been the worst. So wanting to kill peter once and for all, on his sixteenth birthday he broke out of jail, took the sinister six with him, and went on a rampage, heading straight for peter's loved ones. Peter went to intercept but had to stop the punisher from shooting captain america as a war between Frank's avengers and Captain America's ultimates, which was a thing that happened but I don't care enough to find out why. I have limits.

So while nursing a bullet wound, peter stared down his foes, with aunt may assiting by fucking shooting electro, putting him in a coma and as a result casuing his powers to go hawywire and narrow the fight down to just peter and Gobby. Sadly while Peter won… an explosion and his wounds from botht he fight and the bullet meant he didn't survivie it, but he got to go down defeating his greatest foe, saving those he loved like he coudln't save ben and in the arms of the girl he loved most.

So as a result the ultimate world was left a world without spider-man, and the ultimates themselves shook, paticuarlly cap who, as is his nature, was a massive dick to peter right before peter took a bullet for him. But it wouldn't be too long…

Miles was first intorduced at the tailend of ultimate fallout, a mini dealing with the fall out of this and setting up the three comics for the ultimate comics relaunch: ultimates by jonathan fucking hickman, which would end up vitally important ot his future works, x-men by nick spender and later sexual harassment brian wood and this very comic.

Miles part of it is very brief but well done: post peters death he shows up in the costume, battles d-list villian in any univers kangaroo, and admits the costume probbaly is in poor taste while taking it off to reveal a fairly young kid. and that spider-man is black. Which naturally isn't the shocker it should be after years of the character being rightfully promoted to hell and back.. nor was it then as it got revealed in the press ahead of time and was a big deal and put a LOT of expectation on the book.T here was also of course stupid racist idiot backlash about WEH THEY MADE SPIDER-MAN BLACK and your standard "people dont' get there's multiple versoins of this caharacter' misreporting, but it's best to plug your ear. My faviorite part of this coverage is that when I was binging it a while back, the comic strip baldo naturally comented on there being a prominent latino spider-man (again but we'll forgive cantu and costelanos for not knowing 2099 existed)

Tia Carmen being judgemental aside, it showed just how big a deal it was and thankfully the book was high quality enough to match thehype. So now we finally come to ultimate comics spider-man itself.

We open issue 1 with Norman Osborn citing the myth of arachne a while ago, back when he was a respectiable industrialist. This is how ULtimate Spider-Man #1 started though it almost feels like Bendis parodying himself as this time the guy listneing to osborn is bored and then thrown off when Norman threatens to kil lhim if he tells anyone this is how spider-man got his powers. Classic norman.

Anyways they do manage to make a new spider using peter's blood, as in this universe the oz serum was used on the spider, and then on norman himself instead of radioactivity and such. One of the spiders gets loose though with no one noticin

We cut to.. some time later as the Prowler, a masked thief in purple, breaks into Ozcorp.

Yeah it took a bit of googling to answer all of this, as I was confused both by Ozcorp still being around even after it's CEO publicly turned into a monster man and killed a bunch of his own employees, and by the spider somehow being ALIVE.

The former..was shockingly easy. It's nightmarishly hard, nay impossible to peg most comic universes into hard and fast years, with character ages being "whatever we need" and holidays being thrown around, not to mention countless time skips for story reasons to start off a run (Both Spider-Man and Fantastic Four just did this for their latest volumes). At this point i've just given up and say "it takes place because shut up" Granted I still peg peter parker as over 30 as anyone should, same with the original x-men and co, but that's not really the takeaway. So while a lot of stories have happened probably not a lot of time has passed.

Adding to that spiders live up to two years average according to a quick google and can live up to 20 in captivity… and of course this is a genetically altereted super spider, so in hindsgith I have to ask myself why that was one of my questoins to begin with.

Finally as for Ozcorp it's SOMEHOW still running. I mean a ceo's bad behavior not tankin ga company isn't unheard of: Papa Johns fired their racist as hell ceo and are doing just fine, and Tesla somehow manages to function despite it's ceo being Elon Musk. Really the questions I have say mroe about me than they do abotu the actual writing of htis comic.

Point is Prowler steals some neat stuff and accidently takes the spider with him. As for who he is.. well under the mask we'll naturally meet. As for overal the Prowler is new to this universe but is an old foe turned friend of spidey's in the main universe. Inventor Hobie Brown created a super villian persona in order to commit a crime, then return the money as himself to get funding. He fought spider-man about once, but the two became friends and Hobie wore the costume on and off. Prowler is also specail to mne as I had a guide to spider-man as a kid and the costume, backstory and intresting status as a former villian when most of spidey's foes really .. dont' stay reformed for long, comic books and all, have made him a faviorite of mine, and I ended up loving this version even more.

We then cut to our hero, Miles Morales, a kid about to enter middle school… and having to rely on pure chance to get into a good one. Miles is going with his parents, Jefferson and Rio to a charter school raffle something I still can't honestly belivie is a thing. A charter school is a fancy, private style school outside of the regular school system, that will have raffle for those in poorer areas and thus a child's future can literally be determined by a plastic ball. America everybody!

I love the choice by bendis to do this: Peter got to go to a pretty nice school simply by luck and where his grandma was, if a public one. For Miles to have a better chance.. he has to simply rely on luck and HOPE he gets it, and even fi he does.. it's at the expense of other kids who didn't quite make it.

You'll also have likely noticed the "Enter middle school part", especially if your more familiar with into the spider-verse, where he's 17 (even older than his 616 self), or most adaptations where he's a year or two older , usually to match peter. Yeah Bendis decided to further crank things up by making Miles way younger, forcing a child into this. I'm entirely used to this as most cartoons use 13 as the default age for their heroes, but it , like the ultimate universe did at it's best, uses htis realistically: this is a child thrown into this. Peter was only slightly older.. and the comic pulled zero punches showing how much this fucked with him. And now we'r ethrowing a younger chlid into an ultimate universe.. that's frankly only gotten worse; at this same time the goverments being torn down, more on that if I ever do any of the followup arcs, mutants are hunted and thrown into camps that are somehow legal, and new york just got flooded b y magneto 6 months ago. And i'ts only going to get somehow WORSE from there. A child is going to have to face all this.. and starts having to just wait for pure luck to get school.

While fate isn't on Miles side in inevetibly throwing him up against super villians, a collapsing us goverment and the end of the fucking world, TWICE, it is in getting into the Brooklyn Visions Academy. What I like is that artist Sarah Pichelli takes time to focus on two kids who DIDN'T get in and miles face after. It's simple but i'ts the clear guilt of a child who simply feels bad his getting a nice school means other kids didn't. HIs parents try to ease his guilt, but he ends up instead going later that day to visit his uncle Aaron. Uncle aaron.. both has solid advice.. and looks like this

Yup for whatever reason they decided to base Aaron on Snoop Dogg, and I for one loved his duet with kirby so i'm entirely for this

So i'm fully on board with this. Naturally Aaron is the prowler, and while he swipes whatever he stole from a curious miles, the spider bites his nephew, causing him to pass out. Naturally Aaron calls his brother.. who then accuses him of drugging his own nephew, yells at him, and is generally a dick, especially since while he told him to "stay away from my family".. MIles came here of his own free will and is ONLY here because Jefferson didn't tell Miles WHY he dosen't like his brother anymore. This naturally causes the small child to flee…., and to find out something new about himself.

Next issue Miles discovers he can also jump good and zap people, doing so when some idiots try to rob him.. but we also get a sense of WHY unlike both Peters, who were naturally excited to have dope new powers, Miles.. is fucking terrified. He thinks he's a mutant, and while we know he isn't, I was NOT joking about the camps thing. Since Magneto destroyed new yorks mutants are turbo hated and feared and if you've watched or read ANYTHING x-men related, you know the regular hated and feared is bad enough.

Miles goes to one of the best parts of this book and his best friend Ganke, a loveable chubby lego loving lad. It's a funny sequence at first as miles tries to do the invsiblity thing but instead looks like he's about to take a dump (Ganke's words) and then displays his other power by destroying.. something Ganke had been hard at work on with Ganke begging him not to try it again on something that took him three weeks.

Ganke thinks the powers are dope.. and is the rational one here, realizing that mutant powers wouldn't manifest overnight, and that he got bit by a spider with the bite suddenly disappering. They don't have time to figure things out as Jefferson tries to prove to his son he's a calm reatoinsal indivdual.. by barking at him to come with him and then asking him this

While Jefferson.. has good reasons… what I like about this is while he is sympathetic, something bad could've happened to miles.. and nearly DID had he not found out he has spider powers.. Jefferson is also an asshole, often far too stern and gruff at this point for his own good. It takes him a minute to get why maybe accusing his brother of hurting him, yelling at his son, then yelling at his son AGAIN and yanking him out of somehwere he feels safe might be rattling, and as we'll learn right after this.. Jefferson is a racist towards mutants, blaming them for things. What makes it work though is that he's complicated… his reason for being so hard on aaron.. is that both of them used to be criminals, which gives nice weight ot what Aaron said earlier: NEITHER of them want Miles to end up like them and to have a better life, not having to steal and do worse just to get by. The diffrence is Aaron stayed in the game while Rio convinced Jefferson to turn his life around. Granted his whole understandable speech about "You shoudl feel you can open up to me" gets ruined by his bigoted statments towards the all new all ultimate x-men a second later I hinted at, but it still shows Jefferson is'nt just an asshole or in the case of pre-character development 616 aunt may, an obstacle just so Miles can't easily reveal his identity. Instead Miles has good reason as his dad hates superheroes and may not have a heart attack but as we've seen can be quick to rash decisions. He'd come around eventually but to a 13 year old kid already scared at what he's becoming, this may not be something he wants to risk dealing with.

At any rate the next night Ganke texts miles with a bunch of message board bits that can basically be summed up as "Your a spider-man, spider-man, genetically altered spider-man" and a bit of celing crawling confirms this to Miles horror. Onto issue 3 as Miles naturally goes to Ganke again and I like the continuing contrast, likely mirroring the two types of reader this would hit: Ganke sees the escapism element and the awesome: MIles has fucking spider-man powers and now can be a spider-man. This is so cool! Miles… is the more realistic reaction, not wanting to throw himself in danger. Ganke also easily figures out that the spider was an experiment: miles mentioned numbers, normal spiders dont' have that, case closed. While Ganke is clearly operating off of a 13 year old nerd's perspective, he's not exactly wrong. He's also got a howard the duck shirt, which adds nothing to anything, I just think it's neat.

Ganke also convinces miles to go visit Aaron. Miles is reluctant given well.. everything that just happened yesterday, but Ganke has a point: he's the only one who'd know what the hell is going on and might be able to help them, sketchy or not. Naturally though after brothegeddon, Aaron has bugged out, pun not intended, as he had other buisness to attend to...

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So Miles is on his own in figuring this out and finding a way to try his powers out

Cue plot convience as a fire has broken out and Miles charges in there to help… and once again we get a nicely realistic reaction: While Ganke is , like us an observer and sees what miles did as cool.. Miles is still a 13 year old that just charged into a burning buildling so while he did good and saved some people… he also is scared out of his mind, seeing the current spider-man as having action as his reward and loving it , not getting that peter was also scared out of his mind, but hey , that's part of why you wear the mask. He cries and decides not to do it and Ganke reluctantly agrees. It shows not EVERYONE would be super hyped to do this and not everyone has to: at the time there is STILL a spider-man. Ther'es no reason for miles to use these. .yet.

Our heroes get moved in, as naturally Ganke is Miles roomate along with Judge. He's mostly around to make hiding Miles identity difficult. He's alright. He likes legos. At any rate we get a nice montage of Miles having nice classes and being encouraged to read… before a not so nice nightmare of electro killing him…. and this turns out ot be prophetic as news of peter being shot has hit.. and his death is in progress.

Taking a moment between issues , i'd like to take a moment ot discuss how much I love the pacing here. While decompressed storytelling can be bad, there have been event comics that coudl've easily been a few issues shorter and didn't need tie in one shots and shit, this comic shows why when Bendis or others using it are at their best, it works well. We're three issues in and HAVNE'T seen miles really be spider-man yet. We saw it in ultimate fallout, but that was a jump foward and maybe a few pages, pages many readres probaly don't see. Yet everything here is important: it defines who miles his, who his family is, lets us meet hima nd get to know him as a shy, inquisitive, smart young man whose DEEPLY terrified of what he's been thrown into. Some comics would try to jam in flash fowards as him as a hero to get more action in.. but Bendis gets that's not really wha'ts important. It's awesome and the superhero stuff matters, it's why the comics called ultimate comics spider-man and not ultimate comics: miles morales, but who this character is, why he's doing this and why he does things matter> He's a kind, empathetic boy unsure of his place in the world. It's the key to a good superhero comic: you have to care about the hero or heroes at the core as a person, or it just dosen't work. And this.. this works.

So next issue, Miles has Ganke cover for him to go see what's going on and arrives just as Peter smashes norman's head in and collapses, being happy he could save those he loved as htey all sob. Miles saw peter's death and it was likely planned by Bendis he'd been there the whole time, but it's a nicely done retcon, if you can even call it that, as MIles is angeld off camera and the only thing we see from him is asking Gwen who he was.

And the next day… Miles blames himself. In a nice twist of fate… Peter is his uncle ben and his reasons for not having acted are way more undrestandable.. but it's understandable why Miles feels this way: he could've done something, he coudl've helped. Ganke does help again though.. this time not with wide eyed fanboying but again showing that while Miles is emotonally and empathetic and thus blames this on himself, Ganke his logical and thus uses the logic to help miles; He could've helped.. or he could've died too. He did get these powers for a reason.. but it wasn't to pitch in not knowing his powers and to die… but that with Peter gone… Miles can take up the mantle. It dosen't come off as wide eyed as before either but just one friend helping another realize both what he can do with his powers.. and that this death isn't his fault. Peter died a hero.. and while Miles could easily share the same fate he can also do what was right.

Miles isn't convinced though and they go to peter's funeral the next day. We do get a nice moment with Gwen Stacey. In this continuity Gwen was a close friend of peters, being his best friend besides MJ. They dated very breifly in the previous volume.. but it was clear Peter was still hunt up on MJ and only lasted to just before his death, and was never really something fans liked. Still she was close to him, a major supporting character.. and will continue to be here eventually. Not during this arc, she and Aunt Man, her legal guardian and surrgoate mom hence why the romance thing also felt kind of eugh, are going off to france for a bit to mourna nd do some work for tony stark (his mentorship of peter, while breifer and less involved, was taken from this universe), Miles does have a question: Why did he do it? and her answer.. is one of my faviorite moments int he book:

It sums up Spider-Man perfectly: He does it because something that wasn't his fault he still felt responsible for, it's the right thing to do and the mask is both because he wants to protect those close to him.. and because it looks fucking cool. As are you gwen, as are you.

That night Ganke brings Miles something from home: his halloween costume from last year.. the bombastic bag man@!

No of course it's spidey and this leads into the scene we saw earlier, miles first outing where he does beat the kangaroo if barely.. but everyone thinks him doing this is in bad taste. Aftewords Miles is understandably freaked given being told your disrepsecting the dead man your TRYING to honor isn't a great start, and the boys discover they can't lock the room as it isn't policy and the dorm guy's a real dick about it. Like.. did you tell them this at orentation? and if so WHY did you put locks on the rooms? I mean I get it if a shooter comes in or something but why not have electronic locks then. Also why would Miles being seen be an issue just say he was doing some cosplay, most people arne't going to connect the dots. What i'm saying is this scene, while necessary to set up the unique challenges miles has, is very dumb.

MIles decides to try again the next night though, and we get a nice bit of internal monologuin as he enjoys this… right before a bad case of boot to the head

It's obviously spider-sense. This isn't Funky Winkerbean.. but whose boot it is… isn't good for Miles

Okay so while the comic itself dosen't explain it, i'll explain who Spider-Woman is. In the Main Timeline it's.. a lot to unpack: She's a private eye whose dad experimented on her. It's a very long story ill get into more another time, possibly next year when we do this all again for Beyond the Spider-Verse with the spider-men and women from Across. I love her and her solo series which is on my very giant to do list.

This Jessica Drew has the same name.. but is actually a clone of peter complete with memories but as a woman, woh works closely with shield and has joined the ultimates. I don't know much about her, just that she saw peter like a brother for understandable reasons.. and that she's naturlaly very pissed at the small child wearing his costume without realizing it's a small child. So we've come to our final issue for today, and the confrontation.. goes how you'd expect. Jessica demands to know who Miles is… Miles not knowing there was a spider-woman or WHY she's taken this personally refuses, and it's a comedy of errors as she webs him up , he tries to go to the cops and she takes him to the Triskeleion, headquarters of the Ultimates and finds himself in a cell.. and in front of the ultimates, or at least Nick Fury, Jessica, Iron Man and Hawkeye. Cap is missing and that's a good thing. We'll deal with him, much like gwen, if we pick this up again another day.

For now Nick questoins what he actually DID, while Tony finds out he's enhanced to everyon'es shocked.. and Clint rightly points out Jessica could've asked him instead of laying in screaming. While it's understandable why she opened the coversation with boot to the head… it also meant MIles tried to you know run and get the police instead of actually talk to her. Nick Fury shoes everyone out. Nick is a bit more of a bastard here, and given 616 Nick Fury (the older one not the one resembling this nick whose that nick's son because comics everybody) tried to buy out Tony Stark's company to force him to make weapons again and once lead a bunch of heroes on an unsanctioned black ops mission he didn't tell them was unsanoctioned, that's a low bar to clear but manipulating other universers and basically telling Peter "When your 18 your ass belongs to me" before easing up into "Okay we'll just train you and stuff), he clears it.

He's more sympathetic here, clearly having grown a bit and thus is gentle with miles. While he's frustrated with miels just kind of nervously spouting off whatever, the humor in this book is really good and makes me question why Bendis is so awful at it not long after this, he's gentle asking if his parents want to let him know, letting him know he knows aaron was the one who gave him the spider.. and it turns out while Jefferson coudl've handled things better… yeah Aaron is an fbi wanted criminal not just a small time one so.. good call on keeping his son away. Or trying to anyway. Nick understands though: With great power comes great repsonsiblity. He also gets i'ts you know a child.

But naturally things can't go easy as Electro is under sedation..a nd the nurse gave him 10cc's instead ofa 100 meaning he's awake and pissed and starts rampaging through the triskelion, easily taking out iron man and hawkeye since… well Tony's suit runs on energy and Tony gets super cocky when facing electro instead of you know.. .readying a countermeasure, while Hawkeye.. didn't think to go get any arrows or equipment. EARTH'S MIGHTEST HEROES PEOPLE.

Jessica does slightly better but still gets jobbed out and Nick Fury, no matter the universe.. is still nick fucking fury and tries shooting him. It dosne't exactly work.. but ti's clear he's more trying to distract the guy and get his people clear than actually win. Unfortunately their in the chill of the night at the scene of a crime.. and while he may not be in a streak of light.. he's certainly arrived just in time

While obviously Miles isn't really on the skill level to beat electro normally, the combination of Electro thinking h'es peter and having a breakdown over it and a Venom Blast, the electricty thing hinted at earlier, powered punch get him weak enough for Nick Fury to play count the bullets with him. Electro is down and the next day Nick Fury says they'll talk.. and MIles finds out what that means that very conversatoin as jessica shows up with a new costume for him.

It's a nice parting and with that Miles now has his iconic costume, his one shot… and as Ganke puts it as his friend swings off having finally achieved his destiny

As you could probably guess I fucking love this arc and this run on the character in general. But this story well sets up who miles is, what the stakes are him for, stealthy sets up the big bad and miles first real threat for the next arc, and is an expertly crafted story about honroing legacy. While Into the Spider-Verse's story is mostly it's own, a LOT of the dna of who miles is was there at the start. As i've hinted at I do not like Brian Micheal Bendis, his writing took a hit and it was while writing several properties I loved with no regard for how to actually do that and he's only recently thankfully stepped away from the big two. But while he was there I can't deny he created two of the best spider-man runs of all time, one total if you count both spidey tenures together, and one of the best additions to spider-man period. Part of spidey's popularity is anyone could be behind the mask.. but this story made it a glorious reality, creating a spider-man just as compelling as one with a long storied history and tons of adaptations in 5 issues.

Will I return to Miles Story? Will you guys someday see what's up with his uncle, the country disolve, venom cost miles greatly, the rise of a new group of ultimates and so much more? Probably. When I can't say, that's up to either you guys to comission or me to fit into my schedule once this arc is done. But after reading this I was reminded how great this run was and how it deserved to be shared with webslingers all across the spider-verse

Next Time, we tackle our tritagaonist of this film series, as we look into the punkstastic origin of Spider-Woman, aka Spider-Gwen! Oddly not spider-punk, totally diffrent person we'll get to in that sequel I mentioned. Thanks for reading true beliviers.

#into the spider verse #miles morales #spider-man #marvel comics #brian michael bendis #ultimate comics

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perereiii · 1 year

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Ok I need to get this out somewhere because the way Wednesday (show) displays pilgrims really irks me. needless to say, spoilers for the show under cut!

Ok. Let's start right off the bat in the psychic vision Wednesday had of Joseph Crackstone in “Friend or Woe” when he was trying to kill all the outcasts.

For reference, Joseph Crackstone is canonically a pilgrim that helped found Jericho in 1625. He’s seen repeatedly being a sadistic asshole that is willing to kill anyone who doesn’t fit in, no matter the cost. Below is a transcript of part of the scene.

[villagers] Burn her! Burn her! Burn her!

[villager 1] Devil Spawn!

[villager 2] Beast!

[villager 3] Witch!

[villagers] Repent! Begone! Witch!

[Joseph Crackstone] Stand aside! Goody Addams! You have been judged before God and found guilty. You are a witch, a sorceress, Lucifer’s mistress herself. For your sins, you will burn this night, and suffer the flames of eternal hellfire.

[Goody Addams] I am innocent. It is you, Joseph Crackstone, that should be tried. We were here before you, living in harmony with nature and the native folk. But you have stolen the land. You have slaughtered the innocent. You have robbed us of our peaceful spirit. You are the true monster. All of you!

[Addams slices a blade at Crackstone’s cheek]

[villager 4] Punish her!

[Joseph Crackstone] The Devil ne’er sent such a demon.

[Addams cries out as Crackstone slaps her face]

[Joseph Crackstone] And I will send you back!

[Goody Addams] No!

[Joseph Crackstone] You are abominations in the Devil’s grip! I will not stop till I have expunged this New World of every outcast. Godless creatures!

[Crackstone and the villagers walk away from the meeting house]

[Joseph Crackstone] Set it ablaze!

...

[Goody Addams] He won’t stop until he’s killed us all! ...He’s here.

[Joseph Crackstone] There will be no escape for you.

After that, Wednesday wakes up.

There’s a couple things wrong with this scene. Burning’s were rare, if ever, in pilgrim and even puritan societies. The idea of ‘burn the witches!’ likely ties to Joan of Arc, a French martyr that was burned at the stake. Even during the Salem Witch Trials, the 19 deaths were all hangings and one crush...ing. (tl;dr, the accused denied being a witch and was sentenced to being crushed between two stones) Goody Addams, creator of the Book of Shadows, would have been the only confirmed witch that Crackstone targeted. I do applaud to the realism of Crackstone killing Addams specifically because she claimed innocence however, as that is exactly what happened to many of the accused witches in Salem, as tragic as it is.

Crackstone’s course of action is also very strange, as the cost to build (or rebuild, in this instance) was high. I can’t attest to the accuracy, but this site claims that it was about £80.00 during the 17th century (not accounting for modern inflation), for the meeting house it cites. This is a costly repair for a relatively weak and trivial public stunt.

While the supernatural outcasts in the show are drastically different from outcasts in real life, outcasts typically weren’t... Burned, or hung, or anything of the sort. Anne Hutchinson, for instance, was considered an outcast for her more individualistic beliefs regarding faith and reaching salvation. John Winthrop opposed her ideas, and when he became Governor, she was eventually banished. This can also apply to the Natives—while a decent number of those who survived disease ended up dying at the hands of European colonists, others were simply pushed west, banished from their homelands.

The fact that Crackstone targeted outcasts instead of witches is odd as well—witchcraft was a much more justifiable reason to kill during the 17th century over simple ‘outcastery’. For instance, there was another witch trial in Wethersfield, Connecticut that predates Salem, with one accusation and death in 1648, two in 1651, and one accusation and banishment in 1669. You could do all of that with charges of witchcraft, however that would be a lot more difficult if you charged ‘being an outcast’. The other people in the meeting house aren’t confirmed or denied to be supernatural outcasts, simply “abominations in the Devil’s grip”, so it’s hard to know if they really were supernatural or not. Plot wise, having Addams as a supernatural outcast might let the viewer infer that the others are also supernatural outcasts, however, false accusations were widespread (again, look at Salem!) and they could have just as easily been the result of fallout of the discovery of a real supernatural outcast.

Another albeit nitpicky detail is the stereotypical black/white clothing choice of pilgrims. While pilgrims—and puritans, for that matter—sometimes wore the well known black/white combo, they also had other articles of clothing in many bright colours (puritans were more reserved and stuck with symbolic, muted colours). The pilgrims typically only targeted detailed clothing (ribbons, seductive styles, etc. were discouraged likely to display modesty).

All right. Now for “A Murder of Woes”, of which holds two prominent scenes of Joseph Crackstone. The first takes place in his crypt after he’s revived:

[Laurel Gates] I am of your blood. I have summoned you to rid the world of outcasts once and for all.

[Joseph Crackstone] My vengeance will be swift and true.

[Wednesday Addams] As will mine.

[Crackstone’s staff pulses]

[Joseph Crackstone] Goody Addams. You haunt me still. You will suffer the same fate you bequeathed me.

[Crackstone stabs Addams in the gut]

[Joseph Crackstone] Now burn in the eternal fires of hell!

[Crackstone twists the knife suddenly]

[Joseph Crackstone] Where you belong.

[Crackstone and Gates leave as Addams stumbles to the floor]

[Laurel Gates] Sweet dreams, Wednesday!

And then, the scene depicted in the prophecy:

[Wednesday Addams] Howdy, pilgrim.

[Joseph Crackstone] How canst thy heart still beat? What demon sorcery is this?

[Xavier Thorpe] Stay away from her!

[Xavier shoots an arrow at Crackstone. He flips the arrow around and shoots Addams]

[Xavier Thorpe] No! Oh my God!

[Wednesday Addams] I’m fine. Go. Get them out of here! Now!

[Xavier Thorpe] Ok! Come on, guys. Let’s go! Go! Go!

[Addams grabs a nearby sword and attacks Crackstone. Addams is pinned to the ground]

[Joseph Crackstone] I will send you back to hell.

[Crackstone is stabbed through the heart, and killed for good]

There’s... Not a whole lot to note about this, actually.

I do find his hypocrisy in condemning witchcraft while using magic-like properties while zombified rather comedic though. He quite literally became the very thing he swore to destroy.

#take one guess as to what one of my special interests is. i dare you #as always if i did fuck up the history please tell me!!! ill do a little research of my own and make sure to change it #with its respective citations #wednesday addams #wednesday #joseph crackstone #i do actually like this show quite a bit #the way different characters confront and react to public images and personal issues #is very interesting. im just a history nerd #raven rambles #new tag #raven has too much fucking time on his hands

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gojogloomy · 1 year

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SERENDIPITY - ch.5

— SYNOPSIS ; Hayakawa Aki just couldn’t sleep. His mind wouldn’t stop plaguing him with things that scared him, and— Oh? who’s that knocking at his door?

CW ; NSFW, slightly mean hayakawa, humiliation, dacryphilia, light masochism + biting, hair pulling, stomach bulge, multiple orgasms, mention of aphrodisiacs, pet names, overstimulation, orgasm control, ambiguous ending.

Aki calls you ‘boy’ twice. Click here if you want him to call you ‘girl’ instead.

WC ; 5.6k

“The End”

the end of the road

Tossing, turning; Hayakawa couldn’t sleep.

His heart wouldn't stop hammering against his ribcage with piercing anxiety.

Usually, he'd light a cigarette and smoke these feelings away but he's learned that he cannot be dependent on a temporary euphoric high to solve all his problems.

Instead, after leaving your room, he turned on the nightlight that rested on the nightstand next to his bed and decided to read a thick book that he found randomly littered in the room.

This book was a good distraction but it didn't entirely resolve him of his worries. He couldn't stop thinking about what would happen when dawn arrived.

At the start, he wanted this stupid failed mission to be over. For Public Safety to find him and Makima to take over; but now, it was almost as though he didn't want this day to end.

Part of him simply couldn't sleep, but another part of him didn't want to sleep for when he did - he was afraid that you wouldn't be here anymore and Makima would be instead, looking at him with a heavily disappointed expression.

That's it, he couldn't let that happen.

He decided at 6am sharp, he'd wake you up early and allow you to turn back and run away. He would've done it earlier if not for the snow blizzard.

After you ran, somewhere - anywhere, he'd return to Makima and tell her that he either lost you or killed you; whichever seems more safe at the time.

He hoped that even though you may never see each other again, that you'd live a safe and sheltered life with Usagi there by your side.

Though, for some pain-staking reason, it brought him so much sadness to have to part ways with you. He didn't want to admit it, but he was attached to you. He sighed to himself at his own soft heart. Such habits couldn't be good for him in the long-run, right?

The small digital clock on his nightstand read '8:00pm'.

Just then, his door bursted open, slamming against the hinges. His eyes widened in shock. For a second - he thought his teammates had finally caught up to him.

But instead, he was relieved to see that it was just you. You seemed a little distraught and unsettled.

"You okay?" he asked. Your clothes were slightly crumpled. Such details wouldn't be visible to the naked eye, especially considering the fabric was silk and didn't crumple very easily. But just like his sense of smell, Aki had a pristine sense of vision too.

“No," you sighed, sitting at the foot of his bed. Your temples were throbbing. "My head hurts so bad. Turns out I jinxed myself earlier and Usagi did end up trampling me in my sleep."

Aki set his book down temporarily so that he could give his full attention to you. "You're not hurt seriously or anything, right?"

“No no. Just..." you trailed off, looking at Aki whose face you could just about make out due to the nightlight he had lit on the nightstand. He looked as majestic as always.

"I'm sorry to bother you, and you're free to say no; but... could I maybe sleep in here instead?" you asked, voice just barely reaching above a whisper.

Aki chuckled a bit, making you relax a little. "It seems like I should've requested for three beds instead of two."

"Honestly, I feel like Usagi would still find a way to trample me in my dreams too."

Aki laughed even more, shaking his head and extending his hand out towards you.

"Pfft, alright. Come here then, Angel."

The nickname warmed your heart as you took his hand. He gripped yours tightly (though they were a little clammy, but Aki didn't seem to mind.) and pulled you towards him, letting you settle next to him beneath the thick covers.

Hayakawa found it a little ironic how he specifically requested for two beds just for the two of you to share one anyways.

He picked up the thick navy book from the nightstand once again, letting it rest on his lap.

"Do you want me to read it you?" he offered, peering at you through his dark eyelashes.

"Sure, yeah." you nodded, taking it as an excuse to get even closer to him.

You just felt safe around him. It was as though you could feel your heart even more intently than ever. But it didn't beat quickly as though you were anxious or scared, instead, it actually slowed down as though Aki's presence calmed you down.

Aki didn't mind starting the book over. He himself wasn't very far into the thick novel and wasn't exactly paying too much attention to what he was reading anyways.

You rested your head on his soft silk-bound shoulder as he read the book to you aloud, making sure to go slowly so that you could keep up with the pace.

Though if anything, he didn't need to do that; since you wasn't even listening. You were just looking at him and admiring him - everything about him.

His black strands kept tickling your neck a little upon being so close to him, but you didn't mind at all. Hayakawa smelt of vanilla and marshmallows with a slight glisten of cigarettes contrasting it all.

You assumed the vanilla and marshmallow smell came from hotel soap, since you were realising you smelt similarly.

It was so comforting to be close to him. When was the last time you had been so intimate with another person? You honestly thought you could die happy like this.

"Aki," you gently whispered his name, your breathing tickling his neck a little.

It caught him off guard considering he had never heard you say his first name before. You were so close to his ear.

“Yeah?" he whispered back, keeping his eyes on the novel.

You also looked down at the book he held so intently, refusing to make eyecontact with him as you spoke again.

"You're so beautiful."

You didn't even need to look at him to see that Hayakawa's expression had changed. His face was illuminated softly by the warm projected apricot hues of the small LED light bulb that served as a light source on the nightstand.

Through your peripheral vision you could tell that his face had went from tranquil and content to surprised and flustered.

Though the air was cool; Aki suddenly felt very hot. He was burning all over, perhaps even his cheeks and ears were displaying the burning sensation too.

He turned his head slightly and tilted it downwards to look at you who rested on his shoulder so cozy.

You could just feel him staring at you, so you tilted your head upwards to look at him too. He seemed lost for words, so with temporary burning confidence you spoke again.

"I mean it, you know"

Throughout the short period of time that you've known Hayakawa Aki, there had been many intense moments between the two of you.

From when he tried to kill you, to when he almost died, to when the two of you almost got caught in the middle of a snow blizzard.

But nothing, nothing feels more intense than this moment right now. His azure eyes on you had never felt so captivating. So fulfilling.

His pupils were dilated and you could see yourself in them. Right now, all he wanted was you.

He sighed a deep, heavy sigh before dropping the book, gripping your hips tightly and kissing you.

The kiss was passionate and desperate, like the two of you had been wanting this all along. A mutual agreement. There wasn't any time to think or even breathe — just kiss after kiss.

This kiss was a build up of everything.

His frustration, for you making him fail his mission.

His apology, for treating you so horribly and ignorantly.

His sincerity, for everything you've done for him regardless.

Aki wondered if the two of you were moving too fast. But if what you were both doing was wrong then, god, why did it feel so right when you gripped his shirt and kissed him harder?

You felt like you were melting, like your brain was on overload. Each kiss left you feeling more and more desperate for another - you just couldn't get enough of it. The feeling of his soft lips on yours, the small gasps and breaths he quickly takes, the way he lets out a slightly muffled moan when you tug on his hair a little.

Hayakawa suddenly pulled away, placing both of his palms on your shoulders whilst panting.

"Are you... Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, confirming your intentions aligned. After all, he was the one who initiated the kiss.

You nodded, gripping his silk shirt and trying to pull him back into another deep kiss but he shook his head, holding your wrists.

"That's not good enough." he chastised in a low, quiet voice. "I know you can do better than that. Use your words. If you want me, say it."

The air felt thick and heavy. Something about this moment felt surreal, as though it wasn't really happening.

Aki's azure eyes were fixated on you, waiting for your answer. And although you felt hot and embarrassed out of your mind, you couldn't deny yourself any longer.

His slender hand remained latched onto your wrists; he wouldn't allow you to go any further before you said anything.

"Please, Aki," you begged, resting your head onto his shoulder and breathing in his scent. Your fingers scrunched tightly into a ball beneath his grip. Although you'd never admit to it; having him restrain you like this made you weak in the knees. "I really want you, I want more. Please let me kiss you more."

He smiled at your obedience, palming your face and squeezing it dotingly as though you were a puppy whilst continuing to hold your wrists with his other hand. "See, that wasn't so hard now was it?"

You wanted to object but Aki was already leaning in and kissing you more. At a leisurely pace, he let go of your wrists and slid his hands down your body; letting it reach down further and further until they stopped in-between your thighs.

He let them rest there for a little before deciding to put use to his hands, sliding your silk pyjama pants right off. All you were left in was your ruby-red pyjama shirt and white underwear.

"Aki..." you called out for him.

"Hm?"

Hayakawa wanted to burn the image of the bashful expression you made upon being half naked into his retinas permanently. How could someone be so cute?

He left sweet, open-mouthed kisses on your neck whilst squeezing your exposed thighs, twitching upon hearing the just barely audible sound of your whines at the feeling of his trimmed nails digging into your skin.

A small 'please' was all you could muster out as a result of his advances. Everything and everywhere was just feeling too good and you could just barely take his teasing on your sensitive body.

You hid your face down and smothered against the fabric of his shoulder to muffle the sounds of your desperation, scrunching your fists into tight balls against his chest and begging him once again.

"Please what?" he taunted, squeezing your thighs even harder as though to punish you; dipping his nails in and leaving small crescent moons into the skin. The contrasting pleasure of his touch yet pain of his actions made you whimper out and squeeze him harder.

Hayakawa sighed a little, rubbing over the sensitive area of your thighs. He kissed your cheek, his hands still resting on the sensitive area of your thighs. Even just the feeling of his warm hands on you was giving you goosebumps. Were you always this sensitive?

"Tell me what you want, sweetheart." he whispered, his dark raven strands tickling your neck as he kissed the lobe of your ear.

"Please touch me more, Aki. Please— I can't take it anymore—" you cried, voice trembling. It was unbearable not having him touch you directly. A persistent throbbing sensation was beginning to build between to your legs. A sensation that only he could fix.

"Shhhh," he soothed, rubbing small circles into the plush of your thighs. "I'll give you what you want. Now, lie back for me."

You complied immediately, lying back onto the bed and looking up at him. Despite this bed only being for one person, it was as big as a double and the mattress was extremely soft.

Placing a hand on each thigh, Aki spread your legs; clearly noticing the dark wet patch that seeped through your underwear. He placed one of your legs over his shoulder, making you burn up further in heart-racing embarrassment.

"Is this how wet you get when someone merely kisses you, Angel?" he questioned rhetorically, drawing a line with his index finger down the thin layer of fabric separating him from your sex.

You flinched at the feeling of his finger brushing against your sensitive clit. Despite it being covered by your underwear, the stimulation still made you squirm nonetheless.

Aki decided he had teased you enough, clearly based on the wet mess you've made of yourself between your legs. He pulled the undergarments off and tossed them aside where your pants laid.

"Do you want me to take off your shirt?" he asked, sliding his fingers over your protruding nipples and squeezing them through the silk.

Although things were getting steamy, it was generally still pretty cold from the weather outside. So you shook your head 'no' to which Aki hummed in acknowledgment.

He, however, did remove his shirt; making you burn up at the sight. His body wasn't exactly ripped - though it was obvious that he eats less than he burns, causing the outline of his abdominal muscles to peak through just a little bit.

You were especially gawking at the sight of his v-line that led to his—

"Are you done staring yet?" Hayakawa chuckled, interrupting your thoughts. He looked almost angelic like this. His long raven hair framing his face, his beautifully sculpted body exposed and best of all - his magnetic eyes latched on you as though you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

"I'm sorry," you spoke, feeling a bit flustered at the eye-contact.

"You know..." he started, pushing his thumb against your sensitive bud and making you gasp. "I've noticed throughout the day, you always zone out staring at me like this."

Slowly, almost painfully slowly, Aki started to rub unbearable circles on your clit with his right hand whilst keeping your leg over his shoulder with his left.

It was so hard not to thrash around at the overbearing sensation. It was all you could think about, all you could focus on. Your whines and moans only served as motivation to him.

"Silly boy, did you think I wouldn't notice? Maybe this is what you've been thinking about all day, right?"

He slid his thumb down to the soaked orifice below that couldn't seem to stop leaking with arousal. Using your juices as lubrication for his fingers, he went back to playing with you - even more roughly now.

It was so humiliating, hearing how wet you were. Seeing your wetness all over his fingers like that; and yet he continued to humiliate you further with his obscene words without a care in the world.

"Aki..." you whined, just barely getting the syllables out. His fingers felt too good, so much it was as though your brain had been reduced to nothing but putty. All you could do was cry out his name.

You were so embarrassed and flustered to let him see such a pathetic side of you but it just felt so good to have him make a mess of you whilst leaning over you like this where he can see your every reaction.

He continued pushing you further and further until you were right at the edge of orgasm before pulling away his fingers.

Hayakawa already predicted you'd whine and protest at the loss of climax, so when your lips parted to complain - he simply cut you off via pushing his index and middle fingers into your mouth.

You almost gagged initially out of shock at the intrusion. You looked up at Aki, eyes slightly glossed over, waiting for him to say something since you couldn't.

"I need you to get my fingers wet, so I can fuck you with them."

Aki was looking at you as though you were a helpless puppy caught in his grasp. His eyes were half-lidded and full of lust.

He loved the way you struggled to make eye-contact with him like this. There was nothing he adored more than the face you made when embarrassed.

Once he deemed he had enough of your saliva on his fingers, he slid his slender fingers out from between your lips and adjusted them downwards to torment your somewhat neglected lower half.

"Tell me if anything hurts, okay?" he asked. You loved the duality within this man. The way he could go from saying the most filthy and debaucherous words to him checking up on you and telling you to let him know of anything.

You nodded, trying to relax and steady your racing heart.

Aki started off with one sloppy finger; testing the waters and seeing which movements caused you to throb and cry out.

Then, when you were practically overflowing with pleasure, he added another finger.

There was no way Hayakawa wasn't experienced in this. The way he so effortlessly curled his fingers directly up against that spongy spot inside of you that made your toes curl made you think as such.

He just somehow knew all the right motions to do, all the right buttons to push. You were panting, moaning, practically crying at the stimulation. It hadn't even been long and you already felt like you were going to cum.

"Hey," he spoke, scissoring his fingers against your walls - the lewd and sloppy sounds of your squelching pussy filling the whole room.

You were unable to respond and Aki knew that. He merely wanted to grab your attention. You looked at him, half-panting with hazy and watery eyes.

"Those chocolates from earlier, they were aphrodisiacs."

Hayakawa didn't exactly know why he decided to tell you such now considering that you were too pleasure drunk on his fingers to process his words. Nonetheless he continued, pushing his fingers past knuckles-deep.

"A... ki—" you moaned his name, voice sounding almost broken. Your toes curled further, making you wonder if they'd cramp up later. You were barely able to understand what he just said. "A-Aphro... disiacs??"

"Foods that increase your sexual desire and arousal. That's why I refused to let you eat anymore of them earlier," he admitted, doing a 'come hither' motion with his fingers, making your back arch.

You couldn't even listen to what he was saying anymore. It felt as though a tight knot was being formed in your lower abdomen and at any second it would unravel and explode everywhere.

Even whilst being in the middle of literal bliss, all you could think was 'more, more, more'.

"Usually though," he continued on, watching as your eyes rolled back and your back arched even more off of the mattress. "Things like that are mere placebo's. They don't actually do anything."

Right now you were convinced nothing in the world could possibly feel better than having Aki's long fingers plummet into you whilst he used the other hand to overstimulate your already swollen clit.

"Please don't stop—" you begged, panting the words out like a dog. "I-I'm so close,"

"But god," he sighed, never once slowing the consistent pace of his fingers. "Considering how fucking wet this pussy is, I guess that they do work don't they? Or are you just always this fucking lewd?"

Aki knew you were right on the edge once again - and what better way to send someone into orgasm than to dirty talk them right into cumming, right?

You were literally sobbing at the feeling of your orgasm washing over you. Hips bucking and legs shaking, Aki soothed you the whole way through it - letting you ride your high out on his fingers.

The feeling felt like it could go on forever; like you were cumming nonstop. Though Aki was patient and kissed you all over until your hips stopped thrashing about and your thighs stopped trembling.

Once you felt somewhat conscious again, you looked to Hayakawa whose face was as pretty as ever.

"You okay?" he asked, watching as your chest rose and fell.

"I'm okay... That felt amazing," you replied, eyes trailing away from his. You couldn't believe the feeling you just experienced. You wanted to do it again and again.

It was just then that your eyes noticed something. How didn't you see it sooner?

He was hard. His dick strained through the red fabric of the silk pants, the very sight making your ears burn.

"Let's keep going," you insisted, sitting up. He had taken you to cloud 9, so now it was only fair if you got him off too, right? You wasn't done with him just yet. You wanted more of Aki.

He chuckled softly at your suggestion, sitting back and making himself comfortable against the headboard.

"Come here," he patted his lap, the silhouette of his dick still protruding through his clothes. You obliged, sitting on his lap and holding his shoulders — his shoulder-length hair brushing against your knuckles.

"You're still shaking," he spoke, rubbing your back slowly. "Are you nervous?"

You nodded, pressing your face into his shoulder. Hayakawa had already gotten used to you doing as such by now.

"We can take this slowly." Aki suggested, warm and comforting hands still rubbing clockwise circles on your back. "How about..."

Aki slid his hands down to your hips instead, gripping them and rolling them forward against his hardness.

You were used to the sounds of your own embarrassing whines by now, but also hearing Hayakawa let out a low moan at the feeling of your bodys rolling against each other made you throb. His sounds were so pretty - you wanted to hear more of them.

Upon your own volition, you continued rolling your hips against him; burying your head into his neck and kissing his collarbone.

"Fuck," he breathed. Aki had been pent up for a while now. Making you feel good and seeing you cum earlier had done a number on him. He was like a shaken up soda can waiting to burst.

"S... Slow down—" he halted your hips, slowing down your pace and making you grind on him slower but more sensually.

Even Aki was beginning to get embarrassed by his own noises, so in attempts to conceal them he leaned in to kiss you; your combined muffled noises and the sounds of the bed creaking with each roll mixing together.

It wasn't long before that feeling in your lower abdomen came again. The one that made your back arch and your eyes roll. Having Aki kiss you was just the cherry on top of all of this too.

Though, you must've forgotten Hayakawa was a very disciplined man. If you're going to cum again, it's going to be on his terms. He could already feel you twitching and throbbing against him.

So you shouldn't have been disappointed when he pulled his lips from you and held you still to stop the rhythm of your hips moving.

"Hey," he spoke softly, voice slightly rasped. It was interesting to see Aki in such a disheveled state. His eyes were dazed and his cheeks were flushed.

"Take it out for me, Angel."

No matter how many times he'd say it, your heart will never stop melting at the name. You nodded.

You reached down, pulling down his pants and his underwear with it. And that's when you saw it.

You felt so dirty for looking at Aki's dick with such impure thoughts. Thinking about how good it would feel inside you, pounding you and hitting all the right spots. Thinking about how much of it could fit in your mouth if he asked you to suck him off, making you choke on it.

"Staring again?" he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours. You couldn't meet his eyes in such a vulnerable state.

"I wanna put it in..." you mumbled, gripping his length. The pink tip was already gushing with precum. You could feel the sharp inhale he took upon the feeling of you grabbing his dick.

"Do it then. Ride me." he said, dark eyes half-lidded and heavy.

No further words needed to be said. He had already given you his approval, so now it was up to you to take the initiative.

Aki was a bit concerned at first, wondering whether if it might hurt you to take it all but considering how unfathomably wet you were and how needy you've been; it was like your very being was begging for this.

Holding onto his shoulders tighter than ever, you gasped at the feeling of his tip spreading you open. You felt overcame already, hips beginning to tremble.

"I can't— it h-hurts," you sobbed, shaking your head against his neck.

"You can stop if you need to," Aki whispered, rubbing soft circles into your back once again. He kissed your forehead as a means to encourage you. "But I think you can take it, can't you Angel?"

You whined at the pet name. The way the word gently from his pretty lips made you throb. You wanted to make him proud. So, using Aki's encouraging hands on you as a guide, you slowly pushed yourself down, taking each inch at a steady pace — biting down on your lip at the slight pain and discomfort.

"That's it, just go slowly." Aki encouraged further, rubbing your hips in circles soothingly.

Once you had taken him all in, the two of you just sat still for a little; trying to adjust and get used to the new sensation.

Taking the initiative, you rolled your hips against him. Unlike last time where the two of you was just merely grinding, this time you could actually feel it and god did it feel so good.

Aki followed suit in your decision to start moving. He thrusted his hips upwards, hitting you deeply and making your toes curl and your back arch.

The discomfort of his cock stretching you was gone, your continuous liquids lubricating everything more and more; and now all you felt was mind-reeling pleasure.

"A-Aki...! It— It feels s'good," Your movements were moving in rhythm now. Whenever you'd roll your hips, he'd thrust his upwards; slamming into you and hitting that place that made your core tighten.

"I know, I know... God you're so fucking wet." he breathed, feeling you tighten up at his words. His thrusts were turning more erratic and you could barely keep up.

He held your hips down, forcing you to take him balls-deep and pounding up into you even deeper as though he wanted the tip of his cock to kiss your cervix.

You cried out, eyes blurring with messy tears. Aki had reduced you to incoherent and nonsensical words now, practically fucking you stupid on his cock. All that could be made out were cries of his name and short, broken sentences.

The sight of you like this; body pressed flush against his, face lachrymose and ruined with pleasure, your cunt stretched to the max taking him so deeply, your whiny, needy moans as you desperately try to keep up with him — rolling your hips as fast as you can.

The sight of it all made him want to ruin you even more, making sure to angle himself so that he was hitting that one particular spot that madd your walls clench and throb around him sporadically.

“Are you gonna cum again, sweet boy?" Hayakawa asks upon hearing your desperate moans raise higher and higher in pitch. "So fucking greedy, aren't you?"

You nodded your head vigorously, a muffled yet enthusiastic 'Mm-hm!' resonating from his shoulder.

At this point, it was impossible to focus on anything other than the filthy squelching sounds coming from your sopping pussy, the slapping of your skin against his, and the creaks of the bed moving against the headboard.

Aki couldn't help but notice the slight pudge in your lower belly whilst he fucked into you. He placed his hand against the outline of his cock, pressing down on your lower abdomen.

You cried out into his neck, walls squeezing him even harder, making you a quiet curse to leave his lips.

You were about to reach bliss soon again. Tugging on Aki's hair, you begged him to cum with you; trying to delay your inevitable orgasm as much as you could.

He groaned, feeling the slight pain and pleasure of your grip on his hair. "Shit, since you asked so nicely—"

Aki held your hips down once again. This time, roughly pulling you forward and backwards on his dick whilst bucking up into you - stimulating your overstimulated clit with each rough drag against his shaft.

It was too much. Too much. You bit down on his shoulder in an attempt to at least somewhat reduce the unbearable pleasure. Aki moans lowly at this, his hips beginning to stutter and his cock starting to twitch.

“F-Fuck! I'm cumming— Angel tell me where you want it," he whined, his desperation leaking through his voice.

You clawed at his back, driving him even more insane. "Inside— P-Please cum inside me, Aki. I want it so bad— !! Please" you begged.

"I'll give you what you want baby— Fuck, take it—" he groaned, losing his composure.

You were both cumming together, still biting down hard on his shoulder with a muffled 'Mmph!' sound whilst salty tears ran down your cheeks at the expense of your climax.

Hayakawa slowed his hips, his pretty lips parting as he couldn't help but moan too as his cock pumped you full of his cum. He reached down, tilting your jaw upwards to face him and trapping you into a passionate kiss as your bodies melted into each other.

"You're such a sloppy kisser when you're cumming." he commented, palming your face in his hand and stroking your tears away with his fingers.

"Feels so good..." you hiccuped, just barely rolling your hips on him, dragging out your high even longer.

The two were a connected mess of lust down below and Aki knew for a fact both of you would need to shower again.

Despite his body being riddled with infinite fatigue and his muscles aching, he lifted you up.

"Wrap your legs around me sweetheart," he spoke softly as ever, the need sleep evident in his voice. You nodded drowsily, resting your head on his beloved shoulder as Aki carried you to the bathroom.

This time, he smelt of roses and sugar.

Aki had showered with you, him doing majority of the work as you struggled to even stand up correctly.

It wasn't very hard to find spare pyjamas once again. Though, the ones in that previous ruby colour were limited so instead you and Aki found yourselves wearing a deep navy blue set instead.

Now the two of you were cuddled up in his bed, your face pressed to his chest with his arms wrapped around you. The small digital alarm clock read '00:00' . It was exactly midnight.

"Before you doze off..." Aki spoke, yawning a little himself. "I've been wondering- If Usagi was trampling you, why not just use that shield of yours?" he chuckled, half-joking and genuinely half-curious.

You began to chuckled yourself — Aki's laugh sure was contagious. "Honestly I can't even control it myself," you answered honestly.

"But what I have learned is that it activates itself when my body feels like it's in danger and turns itself off when I feel safe around someone or something,"

Silence passed for a moment. Aki seemed to be deep in thought, his black strands brushing your forehead.

"But even before we got here I was a danger to you. Why did it allow me to cuff you? I tried to kill you earlier." he reasoned.

"Even so..." you yawned, squeezing his body against you tighter and nuzzling your face into his chest. "I guess I've always trusted you from the start."

The answer was so simplistic and vague; it hardly meant anything — and yet it said so much at the same time.

Aki thought that for once in his life, heart felt at ease. It was then that he made up his mind and took a new take on life.

It was rash, rushed and certainly risky — nothing like his usual self.

He didn't know what had overcome him, but he knew in his racing heart that this was right.

Hayakawa had centred his very being around defeating the gun devil. But he could multitask, right?

He looked down with a grin at the cuddled up figure against his chest, snoring away with no care in the world.

The midnight-blue hues of the dark sky outside illuminated his sleep-deprived face. With a smile still plastered on his face, he whispered

"Let's stick together, Angel."

Before dozing off into a cathartic slumber.

A/N ; the end ☃️ thanks for reading !

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