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marshmellowtea · 2 years

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hi hello welcome to the self indulgent birthday fic :P originally, i started writing this because i had the zoomies and thought “man i wish i had someone to throw me like a toddler” and then projected that onto william and mark, but then i set this in a very self indulgent but incredibly angsty au and so the last half of this fic has an Angsty Conversation(tm). but there’s fluff here too i swear!!

some important notes for this fic before we begin: this is an age regression fic, with little!mark and caregivers!celine and william (weird combination i know but i have justification and that justification is the heart wants what it wants okay :P). he does use titles for them, mama for celine and bubba for william, so if that bothers you i would skip out here. mark’s relationship to celine and william are platonic, but celine and will are together, though that’s not super explicit. also, like i said there’s Angst so warning for references to past suicide attempt and self harm and past childhood abuse/childhood trauma. if there’s anything else you think i should warn for, lemme know :) also also, this is a modern au because i do what i want, though that’s barely relevant and only really explains like. one detail lol

i think that’s all i need to cover for now, i’ll probably post this to my agere ao3 tomorrow cuz y’know. it’s for my birthday and tomorrow’s my birthday <3 i hope you enjoy if you read, thank you if you give it a shot!!

Hearing the sound of Mark screaming in one of the bedrooms makes Celine rush over as fast as her legs can carry her, fearing something awful. What exactly something awful could be is, of course, terrifyingly varied, so she braces herself for anything as she flings herself into the doorway.

“Mark? Are you alr—” she starts, only to pause as she takes in the sight in front of her.

Mark is indeed in the room, but he has a wide grin on his face, and he races toward William with arms stretched up toward him. He throws himself into the taller man’s chest, giggling maniacally as he does so, and in response, William is quick to scoop him up and hurl him onto the bed with a sweeping, uncharacteristically controlled throw. Mark screams as he flies through the air—the same scream Celine heard as she’d passed by the room—and he lands on the bed with a light thud and a small bounce. He giggles, and races back into William’s arms, who’s about to repeat the process before Celine clears her throat, drawing his attention to her.

“Oh!” he says, turning to the doorway, hiking a still-giggling Mark further up in his arms so he can hold him properly. “Hello, dear! How long have you been there?”

Mark, for his part, responds to William’s hold by wrapping his arms and legs around him tightly, his grin growing toothy and sweet as he looks over at Celine, also finally noticing her. “Hi Mama!” he says, before breaking back into giggles and tucking his face into William’s shoulder.

Celine can’t quite stop the tiny smile at the greetings, as well as the relief washing over her. “Well, hello there to the two of you,” she says, stepping into the room and shutting the door lightly behind her. “What on earth were you doing in here?”

Mark just laughs even louder in response, apparently still very tickled. “Bubba wa’—ha!—’e’s th’owin’ me!”

“Throwing you?” Celine asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Just on the bed!” William says quickly, catching the disapproving note in her voice. “The little rascal kept running around and jumping on me, I figured—y’know, I figured it wouldn’t hurt if I threw him around a little.” Then, after Celine’s disapproving gaze grows, he adds, “He loves it! Look at him!”

Mark nods enthusiastically, unwrapping his limbs from William’s torso and wriggling out of his arms, landing easily on the carpet. He turns in Celine’s direction, curls flying everywhere, before racing toward her, another symphony of overexcited giggles coming out of his mouth.

“Mark, wait, no, don’t jump on Mama, okay?” William quickly warns.

Unfortunately, the warning comes too late—Mark has already slammed into her side, doing a little hop as he does so, nearly taking both of them off balance since Celine isn’t nearly strong enough to catch him. It’s a miracle that she manages to stay standing, but she’s somehow able to shift both of them back to their feet before they topple over. She has, however, let out a cry of surprise as he’d collided into her, and once they’re both steady again, she pushes Mark back by the shoulders gently, giving him a stern stare.

“Hey. No running into people like that,” she scolds gently. “You could really hurt someone. Okay?”

Mark, for his part, does look appropriately guilty, his smile turning a little embarrassed. “O’tay. Sorry, Mama.”

“It’s okay, baby. As long as you know not to do it again,” she says, pulling him back against her and letting him sink into her arms. She brushes stray strands of hair out of his face, a small smile returning to her lips, before turning her gaze back on William. “You really shouldn’t be encouraging him to do that, you know.”

William scoffs, putting an offended hand to his chest. “I told him not to jump on you!” he says defensively.

“Yeah, but you’ve also been letting him jump on you this whole time!” Celine counters, to which Mark starts to giggle again.

William shrinks a little at that, rubbing at the back of his neck. “...I’m the exception to the rule,” he says after a moment, his voice going quiet with sheepishness. “He’s allowed to jump on me, I can take it.”

“Bubba’s sturdy,” Mark agrees, thumb lingering at the edge of his lips. “Sturdy like a tree.” Then, he giggles again, looking up at Celine with mirthful eyes. “Big like ‘ne too!”

Celine chuckles lightly at that, continuing to run her fingers lightly through Mark’s hair. “Yeah, I suppose he is,” she says, shooting William an amused glance which he returns with a growing smile. “Not everyone’s sturdy like him, though.”

“Nuh uh. Won’ do that to no one else no more, p’omise.”

“Thank you, baby.” Her eyes return to Mark once more, her heart melting a little as she finds him with his thumb fully in his mouth now. “You know, honey, I was worried when I heard you screaming. I thought something bad happened.”

“Mm,” Mark grunts, looking up at her with apologetic eyes. “S’rry. Know you worry ‘bout me.” He tucks himself further against her chest, letting his eyes flutter shut. “Was havin’ fun, though. No’ tryna hur’ m’self or somethin’.”

“Yeah...” Celine murmurs, chest tightening a little. It never gets easier hearing Mark talk about that sort of thing in his soft, regressed voice, even if they all know that’s part of the reason why they do this in the first place. At least he hadn’t sounded upset when he’d brought it up this time. “I’m glad, sweetie. I’m happy you were having fun.”

“See?” William says, but his voice has softened, also clearly affected by the reminder of the events that had brought them here. “I told you, he loved it.”

Celine snorts, shaking her head. “Oh, I believed you. I just think you two should maybe try something less dangerous next time.”

Mark lets out a wail of protest, looking up at Celine and pouting. “Like being thrown,” he says insistently, tugging on her shirt, like that’ll convince her somehow. “Bubba won’ le’ me get hurt! Trus’ ‘im!”

“I’m not sure if that’s a statement or a command, little one,” Celine replies in amusement, ruffling his hair lightly.

Mark pouts harder, headbutting her lightly in the chest. “Both,” he says decisively.

Celine and William both let out a laugh at that, and Mark can’t help but smile a little as well, his giggly mood from earlier returning a bit. He reaches up and makes grabby hands for Celine, getting on his tiptoes to rub his nose against hers.

“Mama!” he cries, shifting his face once their noses were sufficiently rubbed to bury his face in her shoulder.

“Yeah?” she asks, unsure why he’s calling for her now, given that he already has her.

Mark just shrugs, clutching onto the back of her shirt. “I’unno,” he mumbles.

“Ah.” Celine meets William’s eyes again, light amusement in her gaze. “Just want Mama then?”

Mark nods, and then shrugs, seemingly unsure of his answer. Celine isn’t too worried, though—sometimes, he’ll just call out their titles for no reason; his therapist had told them that it’s probably a self soothing thing, though Mark tends to be dodgy when they ask.

“Wan’ Bubba too,” he mumbles after a moment, pulling out of her arms. He looks at her for a moment, before darting back toward William, grabbing his hand and pulling him over. Then, he grabs Celine’s hand as well, and then...stands there, swinging their hands a little.

“...is there a reason you want us?” William asks after a moment, audibly fighting back a chuckle.

“...I dunno,” Mark says, looking at William’s hand and squeezing his fingers lightly. “Guess ‘m done being thrown?”

“Yes, baby, I’m afraid so,” Celine says quickly, before William could speak up. “No more throwing.”

“For today,” William adds, earning a dirty look from Celine. “What? Would you rather have him running around like a maniac?”

Celine frowns, looking down at Mark. “Well, no, that’s not safe either,” she says, shaking her head. “But that doesn’t mean you can replace it with an activity that’s more dangerous.”

“That’s a little dramatic,” William protests, only to regret it when he receives a withering scowl in response. Still, he continues, “He was landing on the bed! The bed is very soft! He was fine!”

“You guys gonna star’ fightin’?” Mark interrupts sulkily, not amused by their impending argument. He pouts and tugs on their hands, looking back and forth between the two of them. “C’n we...I wanna watch TV. P’ease?”

A pleading, almost anxious tone slips into his voice at the request, and his pout has fallen into an uneasy expression, his genuine concern at the thought of a fight ensuing breaking through. It’s very effective at making guilt well up in both of his caregivers (though that’s unintentional on his part, he rarely tries to guilt them on purpose unless he thinks it’ll get him a treat), and they both bite back their half formed defenses. Celine squeezes Mark’s hand gently and William brings the hand he’s holding up to his lips for an apologetic kiss to his knuckles, both of them trying to soothe him before he becomes inconsolably upset.

“‘Course, little man. I think that sounds nice,” William says gently, swinging his hand slightly.

“You wanna take us to the living room, love?” Celine asks, her voice also softening considerably.

Mark sniffs, shoulders visibly relaxing. “Yes,” he says, unable to disguise the relief in his voice. He tugs them both toward the door, waiting for Celine to open it before pulling them through, and then pausing again, eyes darting between the two of them. “Thank you.”

His voice is quiet, still a bit wary. William wraps his free arm around him briefly, pulling him close enough to kiss the top of his head. “You’re welcome, buddy,” he says, giving him a light pat on the shoulder as he pulls away.

Mark beams brightly at that, before turning to Celine with wide eyes, also clearly expecting something from her as well. Celine smiles softly, leaning forward and pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

“There you go, sweetie,” she says, giving his hand another squeeze.

Mark’s smile widens, apparently deeming this an appropriate…something (it doesn’t really matter what, though, as long as he’s happy), and he starts to drag them off toward the living room, starting to babble about what cartoons he wants to watch. Celine and William allow him to drag them along, occasionally offering their opinion when appropriate, but mostly just letting him babble.

A few episodes into Sofia the First, Mark has fallen asleep against William’s chest, curled up in his lap with his feet resting in Celine’s. Neither of them have the heart to move him, not with the way he clings so tightly to William’s shirt even in his unconscious state, so Celine switches the television to something a bit more adult and settles in, resting her head slightly against William’s shoulder.

“I feel like we should talk about that game you were playing with Mark earlier,” she says softly, rubbing the boy in question’s knee absentmindedly.

William huffs, but doesn’t audibly respond, or even look over at her. He does, however, hold Mark a bit tighter, earning a pleased sound from him even in his sleep.

“I don’t like how rough you play with him sometimes,” she continues, turning her gaze to Mark’s sleeping, contented face, smushed up against William’s chest. “I know that’s how you two were when you were younger, but you guys aren’t kids anymore. You’re a lot bigger than him now. You could seriously hurt him.”

William clicks his tongue, shaking his head slightly. “He likes to play rough sometimes,” he says defensively, rubbing absentminded patterns against Mark’s back with one of his fingers. “And that was hardly what I’d call rough, by the way. I made damn sure he wasn’t going to land anywhere that would hurt him.” He turns toward her, finally, his brow furrowed in frustration. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I do,” Celine concedes, pausing for a moment as Mark makes a tiny noise, shifting a bit in his sleep. Once it’s clear he’s not about to wake up, she continues, lowering her voice slightly. “But accidents can happen, and I…”

She sighs, trying to figure out how to phrase it. William watches, his face carefully neutral, only the twitching of the corner of his lips giving away his nerves.

“We’re still—we’re still so new to this. To all of this,” she says finally. “He’s been—even out of headspace, he’s been reacting badly to things that he’s never—never been triggered by before, and I just worry that if you actually hurt him, even by accident, we’re going to unlock something he’s not ready to address yet, and the last time that happened we almost lost him. I’m not, I’m not willing to face that possibility again, I’m terrified we’re going to do something wrong, and he’s going to do something worse to himself, something permanent, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself i-if he—”

“Hey,” William interrupts softly, reaching down and grabbing her hand. “It’s okay, darling, take a moment.”

Celine swallows thickly, scrubbing away tears she hadn’t realized had been welling up. She interlocks her fingers with William’s, squeezing his hand tightly, taking in a shaky breath to try and calm her racing heart.

“Sorry,” she whispers, sniffling a little. “I just get so worried about him. I didn’t even notice anything wrong the first time…”

“No one did,” William says softly. “He didn’t exactly tell anyone, did he?”

Celine huffs out a humorless laugh at that. “Well, no, I suppose not,” she murmurs, reaching over and running her free hand lightly over Mark’s curls. “I think he’s aged me ten years with that shit.”

“Oh, he’s aged all of us ten years,” William says, amusement coloring his tone. “I’ve started to blame my gray hairs on him. It’s very therapeutic.”

Celine chuckles, and then falls quiet for a moment, drawing her hand away from Mark’s hair. “Still…” she starts, letting out a sigh. “It wasn’t like he was exactly hiding it, either…I just don’t think any of us can handle a scare like that. Especially if it turns out to be more than just a scare. You know what I mean?”

William sighs as well, giving her hand a light squeeze. “I do,” he says, voice softening again. “I understand why you’re afraid. But I don’t think he’s as fragile as you think he is.” He gives her hand a third squeeze, this one a bit tighter than the others, his other hand still rubbing soothing circles against Mark’s back. “I’ll try to be more gentle with him, I promise, but...he’s going to be okay. A little bit of play isn’t going to hurt him.”

Celine swallows thickly, staring down at their enjoined hands. “Thank you,” she says softly. “I’m sure you’re right, it’s just—I worry.”

“I know. I do too,” William murmurs, looking down at Mark and patting his back lightly. “He sure gives us a lot to worry about, doesn’t he?”

Celine huffs out a laugh, nodding slightly. Then, they fall quiet for a long moment, the only sound the soft playing of the television in the background.

“He’s so sweet like this,” Celine says fondly, breaking the quiet. “I never thought I’d get used to the pacifiers and the stuffed animals, but it’s...nice.”

William freezes oddly at that, a concerned furrow appearing. “Oh. Oh, no,” he says, “You just reminded me...”

Celine frowns, confused at his reaction. “What?”

William huffs, rubbing at the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “He left Rosé in the bedroom.”

“Oh?” she says, raising her eyebrows. “I hadn’t realized she was in there.”

“He put her down on an armchair,” he says, shaking his head and sighing. “He said she gets motion sickness, and I guess he forgot she was in there. He’s not going to be happy about that when he wakes up...”

Celine smiles softly. That’s something she can fix easily. “I’ll go get her for him,” she says, carefully moving Mark’s legs off of her as she gets off the couch. “He’ll probably still be upset that she was left in there at all, but at least this’ll minimize some of the tears.”

William’s shoulders relax visibly, and he smiles, letting his head drop back against the back of the couch. “Thank you,” he says, adjusting Mark more comfortably in his lap and brushing his hand through his hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Celine says back, leaning forward to press a light kiss to his mouth. “You know I couldn’t do this without you.”

“I do know,” William says cheekily, watching with a goofily lovestruck expression as she presses a kiss to Mark’s temple. “I couldn’t do it without you either.”

Celine straightens back up languidly, chuckling lightly. “I know, my darling,” she says, taking a step back. “I’m gonna head up now, I’ll be back.”

William nods, mouthing a soft Thank you and turning back to the television. Celine heads back toward the stairs, only stopping at the bottom step for a moment to take a brief moment to look at her boys—William cradling Mark gently in his arms, Mark sleeping so sweetly against his chest—before heading up to rescue the plushy, heart full and warm from the sight.

#who killed markiplier #actor mark #william j barnum #celine the seer #rosé the plush #yes she's here too don't @ me #agere #marshy writes #it's my birthday fic and i'll write what i want to write what i want to :P #maybe i should make a tag for this au. i'll think about it #i do wanna write more for it but it gets real dark in some places so shrugs #it’s my comfort whump/agere au okay…….there’s a lot of pain but also a lot of healing #anyway normally i'd wait to post this until earlier in the day cuz usually posts are more likely to be seen then but screw it #birthday fic gotta be published before my birthday #yeehaw

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