#the purest sweetest most loving angel in existence and who deserves nothing but happiness for the rest of his life

[astraystayyh]

happy birthday to my hyune. hyunjin who wrote a poem about stay’s eyes and how they shine brighter than any stars. hyunjin who paints old couples because he believes love should be eternal. hyunjin who needs to be chased off the stage by staff because he wants to greet stays longer. hyunjin who always reassures stays that they have a long time left together. hyunjin who reads poetry before bed. hyunjin who writes about love so beautifully as if he is the embodiment of it. hyunjin who says he wants to remain strong as to not hurt stays. hyunjin who says you need to practice with your 200% to show 100%. hyunjin who loves reading books. hyunjin who always tells stays to eat well. hyunjin who wears his heart on his sleeve. hyunjin who started a stay counseling center to listen to stay’s problems. hyunjin who wrote if love is everything, then there is nothing left for me. hyunjin who trained really hard because he refused to be just a pretty face. hyunjin who said that he loves easily, gets hurt easily, regrets easily then repeats the process because isn’t that what life is about. hyunjin who said that the wounds caused by humans are also healed by humans. hyunjin who remains hopeful and loving despite it all. hyunjin who eats with his eyes closed. hyunjin who loves going to art museums. hyunjin who said that there isnt a team that loves each other as much as skz does. hyunjin who said that there should always be a Stray kids before his name. hyunjin who loves so freely and who i love. you grew up so well my hyune 💓 please be happy forever.

#SINCE IT’S OFFICIALLY MIDNIGHT IN KOREA 💗💓💞💕💘💞💓💗 #words can’t describe how much love i have for hyunjin :’) #the purest sweetest most loving angel in existence and who deserves nothing but happiness for the rest of his life #i hope love finds him wherever he goes #i hope that even on his darkest nights he finds reasons to smile all over again #i love him I LOVE YOUUUU HYUNJIN #happy birthday to you thank you for existing and for choosing to be so kind depsite the harshness of our world #thank you for having such a beautiful soul #thank you for being so full of love it reminded me of how gentle and fulfilling love should be #aaaaaah my second hyune birthday 🥹 TO MANY MANY MORE #let’s stay together for a long time #im so happy i get to love you in this lifetime

[specialagentrin]

a forever continuous list why WE love dean

aka : my sunflower and one of my main reasons for bothering to exist

[So, Dean, guess who was able to snatch almost everyone in your discord server and tumblr friend list? It just, it hurt’s me whenever you think low of yourself, and then this idea just, popped up in my head. @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @3dg310rdsupreme and @dying-by-fangirling helped - along w/ your discord server. Love you. Anyone can gladly add on, anytime.]

Reasons: 

You're the definition of perfection.

Because you somehow manage to find time for everyone.

You always listen when we need to vent or talk about problems.

You always manage to make us feel loved and cared about.

You always make sure we are okay.

You brought us all together. I wouldn't know any of these people if you hadn't introduced them to me.

You bright up the entire internet with one message.

You always make sure we are looking after ourselves.

You make us all feel beautiful whenever we share selfies or talk to you.

If ever we go missing randomly, you make sure we are okay.

You always pay attention when someone is excited about something.

You make me feel loved and like someone cares about what happens to me.

You are so brave and dedicated and have already managed so much more than I ever could.

You are so talented.

You somehow manage to make every single one of us feel loved, without even seeming to notice how amazing you are.

You are so patient when people don't understand something, and always make sure they are happy.

You have a skill of making anyone who speaks to you want to be your friend.

You are always so supportive. If any of us share anything, you are there telling us how amazing it is.

You've taught me so much.

I haven't even known you a year and I would both die and kill for you, you're just that amazing.

You deserve the world and you don't even realise it.

I didn't know you were going to end up my friend when I first commented on your fic, but I am so glad a million times over that I did, because you have literally changed my life for the better.

You always have a nice thing to say to anyone who needs it.

You love with all your heart, and you love everyone!

You are just the purest boi!!!!!!!!

Honestly I want to hug you so much…….. unfortunately I can't. But just know I WANT TO.

You think so lowly of yourself and yet think so highly of all the rest of us! Even though you are the most amazing!!!

We can all just talk to you about anything - including nonsense - and you just join in instead of saying how crazy it sounds.

You’re strong and resilient, you’ve been through things I can’t even imagine and you still have the biggest heart 

Wonderful singer and beautiful voice

You are funny and adorable and it makes me smile just when you talk.

You’re incredibly creative and an amazing writer! 

You’re smart and knowledgeable about a variety of topics, AND you’re patient and understanding when you explain them to us. 

Talking to you lights up my entire day and I can’t imagine a day without talking to you now

All you have to do is say hi and instantly I perk up and am happy to see you.

You are one of the most loving and caring people that I know.  You literally worry about everyone and always want the best for us. 

You are a beautiful person, I feel loved and cared for with you and you make us all feel the same way! 

You say it’s annoying but you think of us throughout the day and tell us.  What it really does is make us all feel special to know we are that important to you.

You sometimes look like a miniature adorable version of jack kline.

You’ll stand up for what you believe in 

You won’t hesitate to stand up for others 

Your smile is so bright.

Have I mentioned your writing? It’s literally better than half of those crappy adults out there! And it evokes so much emotion in me. 

Whenever your happy, I become so fucking happy in return 

Honestly you could light up a whole city 

Your smile makes the lights of Albuquerque seem dim. Your heart makes the Eiffel Tower seem tiny. 

You were the first to understand my complete crack ships (Percy Jackson/Peter Parker, anyone?) and not laugh. 

You loved me. And that’s all I could ever ask for. Your unconditional love and support. (Am I crying while writing this? Psh, no, I’m just allergic to feelings…)

You wouldn’t hesitate to put others instead of yourself first 

When someone is hurting, you wouldn’t stop until they feel better. 

You are an amazing writer and I still plan on reading all of the books you end up publishing

You care for everyone. I mean everyone. You sap :)

Your voice is stunning 

The fact that whenever your happy, you show off your body proudly - that just makes me so happy

Whenever I’m having a horrible day, you fill my life up with endless light. You make me want to be a better person. And I love you. 

I love it when we bounce ideas off each other, and then we both start running with it

You were so patient when I told you that I was coming back, but didn’t

You were one of the reasons that I did come back and start speaking again

You’re one of the best writers that I’ve ever seen 

Being your friend is one of the best things in my life

Whenever I see you typing, I get this big grin on my face

You are always patient with me

Your voice. Your voice. Need I say more?

You’re a star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You say the most beautiful and heartwarming things that I’ve ever heard

Nothing ever makes me happier than listening to your ideas

You’re so creative and lovable, I want to hug you so bad!!!!!!!!

I love you

You make everything feel better, even when something really hurts

Beautiful, amazing, show-stopping

Nothing ever really feels bad when you’re around

I never laughed harder when we were messaging

When we first started messaging each other, and you just pulled up with this sunny personality and I honestly thought He’s going to be my best friend

You’re literally sunshine

You’ve given me the best memories that I’ve ever seen

You’re a dork, and I love you all the more for it :)

Everything that you’ve been through just made you a kinder, sweeter, and nicer person

Nothing’s better than just sitting down and actually talking with you

You’re beautiful

I’m always smiling when I think about you

You’re the best person

You always try to tell the truth, in the nicest way, which is awesome

You’re awesome

You always tagged me for stories that you’d written, despite the fact that I didn’t do anything except give you an idea

You’re always willing to help every single one of your friends

You have, honestly, been one of the best people I’ve ever talked to

We all love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💓💖💗💘💙💚💛💜💝🤍🤎🧡🎔♥♡❣❤

The world wouldn’t be the same without you

you’ve got the biggest heart

You taught me how to use discord and were my first ever rp and are always so patient and kind about everything.

You leave the most heartwarming comments, and that really lights up my day!

Your writing. Oh Gosh, your writing, Bean!! Somehow you write the exact things we're all feeling -- but then you put it into words and do it amazingly!!

When you're around, I never feel lonely. That's literally the warmest vibe a person could have, and you exude them endlessly!

You make it easier for your friends to love themselves <3

You have a really wonderful blog!! 

You always have the sweetest things to add to your friends' posts, cause you're frigging amazeballs like that. 

I get so happy whenever I see that I’ve gotten a message from you. 

The memories I’m making and the memories that we’ll make in the future, I’ll treasure for the rest of eternity. 

Words haven’t even been invented yet to tell you how much everyone here loves you.

I just, you always manage to make me cry because you're always telling me that you love me??? And it’s like, thank you for telling me to exist???  

What would we do without you here?

YOUR DORKY SMILE W/ BRACES IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE AND YOU CAN’T SAY OTHERWISE

You're beautiful.

You’re the best internet friend I’ve ever had—you’re always there, whether it’s to chat about fandom stuff, or to cheer me on, or to just be there through hard times. Thank you for being the best friend I could ask for. ❤️

I adore your writing—you paint such beautiful pictures with your words. I love the way you sing—your voice is breathtaking. You’re so talented, and you’re going to go so far with those talents! 

You’re such a considerate friend, and you don’t give up on people no matter what.

You are resilient, no matter what, you subsist

Dean, you go above and beyond for your friends, and it’s truly amazing.

You're always so welcoming to new people! I've always been super shy but you made me feel welcome straight away. You're a wonderful person to talk to and you're always willing to help your friends. I look up to you!

Dean, you are one of the most important things in my life and one of the best things to happen to it,i can’t imagine a world without the light you shine into it.

You’re awesome and I’m happy for you with T and all the amazing things to become the guy you want to be!

My heart, for irene’s sake - do you know how happy you manage to make me? How I literally freak out when I see your name typing? How euphoric i get when you call me bug or love? You just - I’m so happy to have you.

You make me actually feel unique and cared about, talking about me to others which is not something I'm used to. Even though I don't rp with you, you're still my precious Dean-o and I love you with all my butt, cause it's bigger than my actual heart. <3

Your awesome also your a fantastic bootylicious piece of ass -winks- nice personality to UwU 

UwU Love ya Dean I appreciate you so fucking much you have no idea. Like do you have any idea how many people can put up with my bullshit and personality? Not many and you're awesome anyway possible. If we ever meet in real life I'm gonna take a picture of us together and say I took a picture with an angel. (btw its Lucas love ya very much Dean)

DO YOU WANNA HAVE A BROMANCE? I've got some broses and some daffodudes with your name on it! UwU Also 0w< Luv ya your awesome ill give ya cuddles if we ever see each other in real life! I'll even throw in one of my very special no bugging a person or trying to piss em off rule for ya. Only two have ever been made and you'll be the third! OwO 

UwU Also thank you for being there for me! I enjoy talking to you even though I'm barely on it's a nice thing! To know I have great friends who dont judge me and you're one of the many who are nice to me! OwO So i want to say thank you and that i appreciate you very much no matter what you do! Also if you ever need to talk my doors always open or well chats always open for you no matter the hours! But if I'm asleep I’ll have to respond later cause I'm a deep sleeper! TwT

#hey we just love the kid okay? #postivitiy

[no-zomi]

|| “Son, your life's an open book don't close it before it's done”

    ⎾       It was meant to happen sooner or later, wasn’t it? Playing with fire and balancing yourself on the thinnest thread is nothing less than risking your life, after all.  The devil’s touch is the softest, the most secure... at the very beginning. But this pleasant, warm grip turns lethal if you remain in his embrace for too long. Every climb was just a wonderful dance between life and death and Jay was nothing but the world’s most skilled dancer. Perfecting this dances’ moves was the challenge he subconsciously accepted the moment he run away from his cage in China. 

    But even Jay had never wanted to greet death so soon.   ⏌

Death isn’t controlled. It just comes. It happens  It seemed like it had been watching over him for a while already, watching the numerous drops of crimson on his hands and pants, fingers stained with his victims’ precious blood. Even his dearest friends would have never expected him to go this far. After all, he’d changed, they kept on saying. The sweetest, most vulnerable behind the mask of viciousness. There’s nothing that’s going to damn his soul for. After all, for the few good things he had done in his life, he should have been saved from eternal fire of Hell, right?

You’re the good person but not an angel, Liu Jay. You sin but you’re  not the spawn of the Devil.

But there was hell everywhere he set his foot near, hidden in the softest of words, behind the sweetest of smiles that were nothing but deceiving every single soul who had stepped by. Wasn’t hell just a reward for being a loyal servant? 

Walking down the familiar street, he could feel the strange, odd brush of cool air against his back, some uneasy feeling in his chest as he clenches his fist. His eyes narrowed as he notices a shadow in the opposite alley, a silent step echoing the empty space. The terror begins when he recognizes the man of his nightmares, luring him to run. 

And God knows he had never run so fast in his life, shaky gasps turning heavier with his heart racing faster in his chest with passing seconds. 

Xiao. The man who had been deemed dead for months. The death’s disguise to Jay. The one who claimed to get his revenge back then but disappeared... forever? Jay swallows hard as he hears his own steps in the alley, nothing but the echo of his shaky breaths heard. For once in his life he’s anxious. He’s scared for his own life, uneasy about his own solitude in the silent district. For once he regrets not bringing his phone with him on those night, long walks. Tangled in his own paranoia, he wishes to turn back, not to be reminded about the pills beforehand. Perhaps if he was in his own world, selfish and reckless, he wouldn’t feel so anxious now. Insanity was his shelter, the sweet escape from his own defeaning thoughts. Maybe then he would face his own demons. Maybe then, he would just come with plain acceptance towards the unexpected meeting. 

And what happened after it--

“This time, you’re a single step behind, Liu Jay.”

The chinese whisper comes out of nowhere, oddly defeaning before the loud shot is fired at him.  It comes faster than he was able to proceed, loud and piercing, a knife to his throat, a blow to the fire of his precious life, the last breath taken from his lungs. Death.

    bang.

He always loved those who smiled in trouble, who could grow brave and unshaken in the moment of death, those whose hearts were cold and firm, not easily broken by weakness, those whose words approved their mindsets. Absolute silence with no word of defeat that could be a cherished sound. He only wished he could have a chance to lift his knife that day. He hoped to at least hear a cry of pain or get a chance to respond with the usual over-confidence,  to at least fight and rest a scar on the man’s neck when he found the familiar brown hues in the shadows. But this man is only staring, smiling, lowering the gun as he withdraws himself from the light of the street lamp and it’s the matter of few minutes and then he’s gone, nothing but shaky gasps echoing the space. Trembling lips let out a shaky breath as hand presses hard against his stomach, crimson staining his clothes with a choked sound forming in throat. He falls onto his knees with a loud hit.

He wished his own death song was the sweetest, not so full of sorrow and regret.

No one’s going to catch the sight of the pool of blood forming on the asphalt. No one’s going to find the gun pointing at his head just a second ago, neither the man whose weapon it was. He had never existed, after all. And this pool will be gone soon. No sign of his existence, disaapearance left. The work of professionalists. Deep inside, he knew that this day would come. Just not so unexpectedly. And not when he’d just grown fond of the sound of his own heart growing warmer, much more caring. Pathetic. What a bittersweet scenario. That’s the misery of his life or maybe a toast for those who decided to listen. He wishes to burn all his lies of the past. 

He’d never let anybody love him strong enough to have them mourning over this sudden slumber. He hadn’t loved strong enough to have someone watching over him. Such a relieving feeling. Breathing is hard when you’re on the edge of life and death. It’s suffocating you. It’s even harder when you realize you’re given only few moments to go... nowhere, nowhere else but down. And there’s no rewind. But my thoughts are tempting, my life so wasteful, he wishes to whisper. I deserve this break, don’t I? Yesterday all my problems were away, now they’re here to stay, to haunt me, to embrace my loving existence. 

  One day, life flashes in front of your eyes. Make sure to make it worth watching.

A semblance of a smile tugs on the  corners of bluish lips as he collapses. They twitch the slightest bit with a silent cry wishing to rip from his throat. He wants to be hear. He wants to speak up for God’s sake but he can’t. The very last breath is exhaled with those mystery-filled eyes looking up in the sky, amost hopefully, fear mixed with relief reflecting in those orbs. The last bit of what could be his savoured limitless freedom comes into the sight instantly before his vision turns blurry. His heartbeat slows down way too fast, the hiss turning softer with dark hues reflecting the light of the stars spread over the sky. Alone. At this very moment he’s alone. Just like all his life and yet he wishes he could have looked into someone’s eyes for the last time. In the eyes of someone that loved him even if for a minute. He wishes he could have been embraced by someone who loved him dearly and feared for his loss. Selfish thought. Human thought. He’s not holding anyone’s hand or hearing anyone’s but his own voice. He’s not seeing himself happy or in love, neither leaving a legacy or some stupid will. He has nothing but himself, slowly turning into a memory of a man who tried to cheat death but found it in the corner, awaiting. He’s nothing but a shadow of the devil, ash and a silent plea of a boy who wanted a chance to be loved for who he was, who wanted forgiveness even if he had never deserved it. A ghost of a child who was once pure and innocent... whose life was sacrificed by their own father for the sake of social rank and position. How much is human life worth again?

No amount of sleep could have really put his mind at ease before , no sleep could have deafened his demons or made him love harder and have a pure passion for life. Nothing could have turned the lie of his life into a sincere feeling or the purest grattitude. Those who do not cherish his life, don’t deserve to be alive, he knows. Eternity is long enough, however. And Jay doesn’t fear the heat. His nightmares won’t stop even when he wakes up.  His only wish was to be given time... time to sleep.  

This time is finally different, his prayers responded.      

              This time... he doesn’t have to wake up.

#&. tw ; death #( ladies and gentlemen this is it- ) #( I am sorry but... well I AM NOT ) #( slowly runs to aim to be yelled at perhaps ) #( but this is real. )