#the other half of [reacting to what literally just happened / has arisen] being like And spilt my drink on my self | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-dragons-journal · 5 years

Text

Otherkin Challenge

Putting this under the cut so I don’t spam the tag.

1. What name do you go by? What is the significance of it to you?

Rani! It is, as near as I can figure, the name I had when I was physically a dragon.

2. How old are you? (If you don’t mind sharing.) What is the gender you identify as?

18, nonbinary woman.

3. What is your Otherkin/Therian species?

Dragon.

4. How long have you known that you are Otherkin? How old were you when you Awakened?

Around a year and a half now; I was 16-17 when I awakened (the period I label as my awakening happened to fall over my birthday, inconveniently enough).

5. How did you find the Otherkin community?

I stumbled across an Otherkin FAQ - I have no memory of how that happened, only that it was entirely accidental - and that led me to tomorrowlands.org and the rest of the community.

6. How does being Otherkin affect your life?

Not hugely, tbh - I’ve long since learned to override most behavioral urges, people learn remarkably fast to translate nonhuman noises and even respond in kind, etc, so there’s usually not a huge tangible effect. (It’s also hard to tell, given that nothing has changed since I awakened, I just have a name for it now - so what’s affected by being otherkin and what’s not? Hard to say.)

7. Are you “out of the metaphysical closet”? If so, to whom?

Yes! Mostly. My family does not and probably never will know. Most of my friends do, and those who don’t don’t know because it doesn’t come up rather than because I make any effort to hide it.

8. How did/would your family react to you being Otherkin?

I suspect it would be hard for my mom to believe, but other than that, I don’t think she would respond hugely negatively - just skepticism and neutrality. Still. Better not to bring it up.

9. What does being Otherkin mean to you?

I don’t know that it does mean anything, beyond the literal “identifying as something other than human” bit. It’s just a state of being. It’s not something I choose, so it’s somewhat counterintuitive to me to try and apply a deeper meaning to it - the same way I don’t apply a deeper meaning to me having blonde hair, or being asexual, or whatever. It just Is.

10. How do you believe you came to be Otherkin? Is it a psychological connection? Were you reincarnated? Explain.

I believe my draconity stems from a past life - that I lived a life as a dragon (on another planet or in another universe), and that for whatever reason my soul resonated particularly strongly with that shape and still remembers it, causing it to “bleed over” into this life.

11. What do you hope the Otherkin community will be like in ten years? Are you for public awareness or against it? Why or why not?

a) A little less... conflicted than it is now. I hope things will have settled down somewhat, and that we can sort out this issue of “Tumblrkin” (for lack of a more accurate but equally concise term) that’s arisen in the last decade or so - people calling themselves otherkin without really putting enough thought into it, or even actually understanding what it is first. On the other hand, I also like the shift away from “grilling” that the community seems to be taking - but that’s so recent that we’ve yet to see if it’ll stick.

b (and c)) ...Yes and no, honestly. Would I love public awareness that’s truly accurate information? Yes. Am I 99.9% sure that any large- or even medium-scale documentary or similar thing done on the subject will be sensationalizing and attention-grabbing at the cost of accuracy, making us out to be “crazies” and “wolfaboos”? Also yes. It’s happened before, and I have great faith in patterns.

12. Do you have phantom/astral limbs? What are they and how often do you feel them?

Yes! Most often, wings and/or tail (several days or weeks at a time, usually). Less often, horns, claws, paws, teeth, muzzle/snout, and digitigrade hind legs.

13. Do you mental-shift? Have you ever harmed yourself or someone else during one?

If I do, it’s so subtle/gradual that I’m not really aware of it. No.

14. Have you ever mental-shifted at a time when it could be considered inappropriate?

Not that I’m aware of, though I probably lean more draconic when I get tired/worn out and that does happen a lot during class, soooooo...

15. Do you Astral Project or practice any occult crafts?

I’m a witch, so yes. Haven’t gotten the astral projection thing specifically down yet, though.

16. Do you feel you are any sort of danger to society?

...No?

17. Does your nonhuman identity complicate every day life for you? If so, how?

Not particularly.

18. Why do you believe you are here as a human?

Because I was reincarnated here. :P

More seriously, I do tend to believe that we learn lessons across all our lives and thus life is about the living and the learning - but I don’t know if I chose to reincarnate here or if it’s determined by chance or some outside force.

19. Are you active among the Otherkin community?

You could say that, yes. (Thanks for 1200 followers, by the way, y’all.)

20. Are you religious? What faith do you follow? Does it contradict your Otherkin identity or do you feel that the two are synonymous somehow?

I am, though I’m not sure spiritual isn’t a better word. I’m Pagan, and please don’t ask for any more specifics than that at this moment - I’m in a bit of a questioning phase right now. Nothing about otherkinity inherently contradicts literally any religion, as far as I know, unless there’s a religion I don’t know about that has a rule about identifying as something other than human. The fact that I already believed in reincarnation sure helped pave the way for my explanation for my otherkinity, though.

21. Have you ever been emotionally, verbally, or physically harassed simply for being Otherkin?

Verbally, yes, though only online. Emotionally, not really, mostly because not a single antikin I’ve ever met is actually good at being cutting and insulting. They’re all boring and mediocre at it, and rehashing the same handful of bad insults a thousand times.

22. Do you feel you are oppressed because you are Otherkin?

No.

23. What is your take on fictionkin/mediakin? What about machinekin and appliancekin?

As far as I’m concerned, it’s really not my place to judge whether someone’s identity is “valid” or “real” or not. As long as they’ve clearly put thought into it and understand what otherkin is before they call themselves that, I try to live and let live. If they don’t seem to have a good understanding or seem to be misinformed, I try to gently correct them.

24. Did the awakening process seem relatively easy, or difficult to you? Why?

Somewhere in the middle, for me. On the one hand, it was less complicated than for many because there was never a doubt as to the possibilities - either I was a dragon, or I was a human (or, as it turned out, both). On the other hand, I loathe change, especially to something so integral as my labeling and identity - so I probably spent longer agonizing over it than I really needed to.

25. What do you think of the information provided online about Otherkin, is it relevant or not?

As with everything on the Internet, some of it is good, and some of it is bad. Read critically.

26. How has your Otherkinity/Therianthropy defined you as a person? Do you feel as if it has given you morals that you didn’t have before?

Not really? It’s something I’ve always had, whether I knew it or not. Trying to figure out how different I might have been if I wasn’t a dragon is both time-consuming and pointless.

27. Have you learned any life-long lessons due to your Otherkinity?

See above. Also, I’ve only known I was otherkin for a year and a half. Check back in in another five or six years.

28. What do you want to do with your life?

Marry my girlfriend, love and take care of my family, not have to constantly stress about money (or anything else, preferably). Chiropractic medicine.

29. Do you have any tips or advice for young and newly-Awakened Otherkin?

Take your time. You can’t rush self-exploration, nor should you. Furthermore, there will be some questions you can’t (or don’t want to) find answers to, and that’s okay. You’re not obligated to explain yourself to anyone but yourself - and your obligations to yourself are only to be truthful, to do your research and make sure you know what you’re talking about, and to be kind to yourself (and others).

30. Anything else you’d like to share with us?

I am very tired and I would like to sleep for a thousand years. Thank you.

#otherkin #dragonkin #rani talks #journaling

21 notes · View notes

him-e · 7 years

Note

I liked your review on Sophie/Sansa, I think that Sophie is a gorgeous Sansa and a talented actress, I hope she will have a good career. Now the small question, what is your opinion on the performance Sophie and Kit in season 6?

Their interactions specifically?

I think Sophie and Kit were excited to have so many important scenes together in season 6, had been waiting for this for a long time, they’re clearly good friends irl, and all of this transpired from their onscreen interactions. At the same time, they were instructed to play two estranged half siblings who finally connect with each other, not without difficulty, after years of pain, terrible losses and intense trauma, and they do because they literally have no other choice but each other (Jon is Sansa’s last hope, and Sansa gives Jon a new purpose after he lost all sense of belonging in the NW). All these different factors resulted in a complex and unpredictable dynamic, the icing on the cake being the natural chemistry Kit and Sophie have.

Let’s start with their reunion scene. A lot has been written about it, about the way both actors played it as a crescendo from anticipation, to recognition, to the final explosive momentum of the physical embrace. I like how both actors’ performances convey an almost dreamlike sense of disbelief in seeing the other, almost if the characters were not sure if this was real or not. For Jon, Sansa’s arrival was an absolute shock that he wasn’t prepared for, and Kit plays it beautifully. Note how he exhales and draws back for a second as soon as he recognizes her face, as if he needs a moment to truly absorb this information and isn’t really sure what to do, and then proceeds to collect himself and climb the stairs, slowly but deliberately, towards her:

I really love the cinematic crescendo of the camera following Kit steps just as Sansa’s gaze does, while Sophie stands still, waiting, holding her breath:

(gifs by cerseilannister)

Sophie plays Sansa as visibly distraught on top of physically and mentally exhausted: her face (and hair) is a mess, she’s holding back a variety of emotions from anticipation to childlike vulnerability to fear (fear that this moment isn’t real, fear that someone will come and destroy everything, maybe fear of Jon’s rejection, because she honestly has no idea if he’s going to take her in or not—note the quick blinking and the nervous hand wringing, that Sophie routinely uses to convey Sansa’s anxiety).

another fantastic acting detail is Kit watching Sophie with his head slightly tilted as he’s studying her face and isn’t really sure if he should trust his own eyes and he’s probably thinking you look like a girl I used to know a lifetime ago, my lady

(gif by cerseilannister)

again, he draws back a bit before Sansa throws herself in his arms. It’s a matter of split seconds, but it’s actually Sansa who makes the first move. He reacts immediately though, instinctively. The whole scene was very, very carefully staged, otherwise you wouldn’t get this level of synchronicity.

Both actors use sharp, deep breathing to underscore the building tension and the swelling emotion. It’s actually a major defining element in their scenes together—like it happens A LOT—and I think it’s very interesting. People picked romantic vibes in their interactions because of stuff like this:

I mean what the fuck:

(gifs by harleygrenade)

why did they play it like this? couldn’t they just have a regular sibling fight?

Now, I don’t think Sophie and Kit were playing romance, no. I think they were instructed to play their scenes as two people who clearly want to see each other as family, and are desperate to connect, but are also complete strangers, fighting a war they’re already losing, fighting for a brother they’ll most likely never see alive again, fighting for their own lives, and not knowing if they can fully trust each other. There’s tension in their scenes because there is tension in their lives at this point—they’re in a dangerous, potentially lethal situation. But this translates, as I said earlier, in a deliciously vibrant, nuanced dynamic, fraught with affection but also building anxiety, lack of familiarity and some simmering, unresolved grudges.

Some viewers complained that their scenes, especially in Book of the Stranger (huh, now I see how fitting that title is), were too affectionate for two half siblings who spent their lives in Winterfell carefully avoiding each other. The reunion scene with the hug was perceived as “too much”, and the following one, with all that playful teasing and remembering Winterfell togetherand sharing beers, made some people actually scream OOC. To be fair, in THAT scene, you can clearly see the real Sophie and Kit slip out of character and into their real selves in a few brief moments:

(gifs by thatonekimgirl)

However, I don’t think this was a mistake. It MIGHT be! (as I said, Sophie and Kit are very comfortable around each other, and this was certainly a funny scene to play, and it’s not impossible that they went slightly off script.) But I think they were given specific directing instructions to play it as “natural” as possible so that the audience could be sucked in this intimate, familiar moment of catching up between two siblings, and believe that they’ve known each other since birth even though we never saw them interacting onscreen before. It was also a much needed moment of genuine levity, of healing, after the horrors of Sansa’s abuse and Jon’s revenant storyline, and before the hardships of the upcoming war for Winterfell.

Interacting with Jon also allowed Sophie to finally play her smug angle:

(gifs by davis-viola and sansastlark)

We’ve never seen this expression on Sophie’s face in the show. This is Sansa, finally able to focus on what she wants and to freely express her opinion, because she knows she’s safe, she’s around Jon who has her back. Brienne, Theon, Tyrion, Sandor, all helped her, but they weren’t family; Jon is.

Interestingly, being able to focus on what she wants for once results in Sansa deciding she’s going to play a game without letting anyone in—not even Jon.

Like I said, it’s a very nuanced dynamic between them. The angle that Sophie is playing is that Sansa hasn’t been able to fully trust anyone for so long that she feels she has to guard herself even from Jon, because that’s how you play the game—you keep your cards to yourself, trust nobody, and care only for yourself. This is Littlefinger’s lesson: people are either pawns or players, and I think Sansa gave a quick look at Jon and decided he’s a pawn for now, as he lacks the acumen and the charisma to be a player (or so she thinks; by the end of season 6, she has to reassess her strategy, because Jon is absolutely a Player—even if he doesn’t know it yet).

(another moment of lowkey Smugface by Sophie, gif courtesy of bericdondarrion)

It’s unusual to see Sansa like this and people were a bit disoriented by how quickly she went from vulnerable little bird in search of her big bro’s protection to boss ass bitch looking almost too… ambitious? Cunning? Treacherous, even? (see also the controversy arisen by the Look she gives to Littlefinger when Jon is proclaimed KitN). I talked in the other post about Sophie’s sympathy for the Dark Side, but I think there are precise directing and writing choices behind her acting.

Whatever it is—and rest assured it’s now an important aspect to the character, something we’re going to see more of in season 7—it coexists*** with the Sansa who desperately tries to convince Jon to hold back until they have more men, the Sansa who spends hours to make a Ned-cloak for him, the Sansa who has tears in her eyes when she declares he’s a Stark to her, and who looks like this:

(by gifsofgot)

when Jon kisses her forehead.

*** incredible how (female) characters can have more than one (1) note, emotion or personality trait, right?

SPEAKING OF THE FOREHEAD KISS, there would be a lot to say about Kit’s acting choices, because they’re a major factor in how ridiculously shippy their interactions came across.

Most of the time, Kit plays Jon as if he’s somewhat lost around Sansa—lost in trying to understand who she is, slightly nervous and upset by her presence, stealing glances at her while she’s not looking or busy doing something else. This is definitely consistent with the idea that Jon isn’t very comfortable with Sansa due to their lack of familiarity, Sansa’s resemblance to Catelyn, and her own history of looking down on him for his bastardy. It’s clear that, despite their promises in 6x04, neither has fully moved past this huge roadblock in their relationship. It’s also in line with Jon not being exactly used to familiarize with women and being a grumpy goofball around them.

The forehead kiss, however, remains inexcusable and inexplicable, lol.

Really, Kit, did you HAVE to plant an INTERMINABLE kiss on Sophie’s forehead, eyes closed as if you’re both savoring the moment and being consumed by some heart wrenching emotion?

It’s not like you had to take a good look at her lips while you reluctantly withdraw from her, either.

(by gifsofgot)

IN CONCLUSION:

Kit and Sophie did their job so well that an alarming number of viewers started to suspect there was something “more” going on between Jon and Sansa. In fact, there is something more: the growing political tension between them, overlapping with their newfound, frail sibling bond (soon to be tested by Jon’s parentage reveal). So when people perceive “tension”, it’s probably THAT kind of tension.

however, for the audience, it’s incredibly easy to forget that Jon and Sansa are supposed to be siblings, as they’re played by two insanely good looking actors, who’ve never interacted on screen before, and who really don’t look like they share any genes… at all. Kit could have chemistry with a broomstick as far as I’m concerned, and watching him bat his long eyelashes at Sansa while holding his breath did not help. As for Sophie, this is the first important series of interactions she gets to have with a male lead who isn’t a) significantly older than her; b) a creep; c) gay, so do the maths.

I don’t know if the showrunners were familiar with the fandom concept of jonsa, but even if they weren’t, they should have probably imagined how certain scenes would look in a series that became famous for its iconic twincest, no less. People tend to pick up incestuous vibes more easily, if the narrative has already proved to be able to go in that direction. And Game of Thrones definitely has.

whatever the authorial intent is, as far as I’m concerned I’m enjoying the fuck out of this. Sophie and Kit are absolutely magnetic when they’re on screen together, regardless the nature of their canon dynamic.

#sorry this is incredibly late but it got buried under a ton of drafts and I kept forgetting to post it #got for ts #anon #asks #got asks for ts #js**#got6 #jon and sansa #jon x sansa for ts

27 notes · View notes

catalaya11 · 5 years

Text

4 Secrets To Remarkable Focus

Said any of these recently?

I get distracted and procrastinate.

I make plans but I don’t follow through on them.

I get things done… but not the right things.

The problem often comes down to just one word: “reactive.”

Maybe that wasn’t the word you were expecting. But reactivity is a problem people have been contemplating for thousands of years. And, yes, it’s a bigger issue now than ever.

What is it? What can we do about it? Neuroscience and ancient wisdom from Buddhism and Stoicism have answers.

Let’s get to it.

Your Reactive Brain

Maybe you’re lazy, maybe you’re not lazy. But one thing is for certain: your brain is.

Research shows that even in our free time we often don’t do what we enjoy most — we do what is easy. Your brain doesn’t want to waste energy. So it’s always a bit lazy.

Problem is, the world is not lazy. These days it’s constantly shouting at you.

Sometimes it’s the siren song of entertaining things like text messages from friends and other times it’s scary things like work emails — but it’s shouting.

Everything is demanding our attention. We’d like to make a plan and follow through or accomplish goals undistracted but the world seems to be working against you.

When I spoke to Duke professor Dan Ariely, he said exactly that: the world is working against you. Here’s Dan:

The world is not acting in our long-term benefit. Imagine you walk down the street and every store is trying to get your money right now; in your pocket you have a phone and every app wants to control your attention right now. Most of the entities in our lives really want us to make mistakes in their favor. So the world is making things very, very difficult.

Your lazy brain is happy to just react to that relentless bombardment of stimuli coming its way. But when you just react, you don’t usually make the best choices. And while you’re definitely doing something, you’re rarely achieving your goals.

That’s because when you’re reacting, you’re not in control of your life. In fact, reacting is the opposite of control. You see something fun and you chase it. You see something scary and you run away. Either way, your environment is determining your behavior.

It’s ironic that we so often say to others, “Don’t tell me what to do!” And yet, all too often, we’re letting the world around us determine our actions. We’re not starting from plans and decisions, we’re reacting.

And these days we’re often sitting there hoping we get a new text, email, update or notification. We’re all but saying, “Please, tell me what to do.”

And while technology has made the problem worse, this issue has been around forever. About 2000 years ago the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said this:

If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet, you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled — have you no shame in that?

(To learn the 7 step morning ritual that will keep you happy all day, click here.)

More often we need to step back rather than dive in. But how do we do that? First, we need to prepare…

Control Your Context

Brian Wansink is a professor at Cornell who studies eating behavior. And one of the main things he’s found about overeating is that it’s rarely due to hunger. It’s usually due to context.

From Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think:

Everyone — every single one of us — eats how much we eat largely because of what’s around us.

You eat less when food is farther away and more when it’s closer. Here’s Brian:

People ate half as much if we simply moved the candy dish off their desk and placed it six feet away.

So when you need to get work done, put your phone on the other side of the room. Make distractions harder to reach.

When you have fewer things to react to or you make it harder to react to them, you’ll be less reactive.

(To learn the 4 rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, click here.)

Preparation is great but that’s just the first line of defense. What do you need to do when you’re face to face with something that’s pulling you into reactive mode?

Stay Calm

Take a pause. Something fun is saying “Come play with me!” Or something scary is in front of you and you want to run away and procrastinate. So just pause for a second. As Marcus Aurelius said a long time ago:

The first thing to do — don’t get worked up… The next thing to do — consider carefully the task at hand for what it is, while remembering your purpose is to be a good human being.

And modern science agrees. All that emotion is not going to help. Albert Bernstein, a clinical psychiatrist, says staying calm is key to making good decisions in the heat of the moment:

…the basic idea is that in many situations, you’re reacting with instincts programmed into your dinosaur brain, rather than thinking through a situation. If you’re in your dinosaur brain, you’re going to play out a 6 million-year-old program, and nothing good is going to happen.

Neuroscientists say stress takes your prefrontal cortex — the rational part of your brain — “offline.” Quite simply, stress makes you stupid. And that’s why just reacting often makes you do stupid things.

(To learn how astronauts, Samurai, and Navy SEALs stay calm and make good decisions, click here.)

Okay, you paused. But you can’t just freeze every time something tempting comes up. So what’s next?

Think About Your Goals

Make sure the most important thing stays the most important thing.

Even the ancient Stoics knew that. Epictetus said:

First tell yourself what kind of person you want to be, then do what you have to do. For in nearly every pursuit we see this to be the case. Those in athletic pursuit first choose the sport they want, and then do that work.

Not big on Stoicism? The ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness is on the same page. Joseph Goldstein, one of the leading experts in the field, told me something very similar:

Where is this action leading? Do I want to go there? …This thought which has arisen, is it helpful? Is it serving me or others in some way or is it not? Is it just playing out perhaps old conditions of fear or judgment or things that are not very helpful for ourselves or others?

And modern neuroscience research agrees with both.

Thinking about your long-term goals when you’re tempted by distraction gives your brain a sense of control and can release dopamine which will make you feel better and more motivated.

Alex Korb, a neuroscientist at UCLA, told me this:

By thinking, “Okay, what is my long-term goal? What am I trying to accomplish?” Calling that to mind can actually make it feel rewarding to be doing homework instead of going to the party because then your brain is like, “Oh yeah. I’m working towards that goal. I’m accomplishing something that’s meaningful to me.” Then that can start to release dopamine in the nucleus accumbens and that can start to make you feel better about what you’re doing.

(To learn more about the six rituals that ancient wisdom says can make you happy, click here.)

You’re calm and you’re thinking about your goals. Now comes the hard part…

Make A Deliberate Decision

Turning down fun distractions is hard. Resisting the urge to procrastinate is really hard.

So take a second and deliberately decide not to give in. I know, that sounds waaaaay too easy to be helpful…

Wrong. Neuroscience shows pausing and taking the time to make a decision actually helps stop you from engaging in bad behavior.

Via The Upward Spiral:

Making decisions also helps overcome striatum activity, which usually pulls you toward negative impulses and routines.

And then, finally, act on that decision. Follow your long-term goals. Here’s neuroscientist Alex Korb:

When the prefrontal cortex is taken offline by stress we end up doing things that are immediately pleasurable. Instead of getting overwhelmed, ask yourself, “What’s one little thing that I could do now that would move me toward this goal I’m trying to accomplish?” Taking one small step toward it can make it start to feel more manageable.

(To learn more about the neuroscience behind mindfulness, click here.)

Okay, we’ve learned a lot. Let’s round it up and see what happens when we put it into action…

Sum Up

Here’s how to resist distraction and be less reactive:

Control your context: You can’t react to what’s not there.

Stay calm: Stress makes you dumb. Stress and reacting leads to dumb behavior.

Think about your goals: Get Stoicism, mindfulness and dopamine on your side.

Make a deliberate decision: When you do, your brain is better able to resist no-no’s.

You don’t have to react and answer that text immediately. You don’t have to react to that delicious smell and eat all the cookies. You can pause, stay calm, think about your goals and decide to do the right thing.

We’re all so afraid of being bored that we run to any distraction that presents itself. But when we truly engage with the world and focus on our goals, we’re never bored.

And as David Foster Wallace said, “If you are immune to boredom, there is literally nothing you cannot accomplish.”

***https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/10/how-to-resist-distraction/*****

0 notes