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pinktwingirl · 3 years

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Rats, Squirrels, and Unlikely Friends

A quick oneshot in which Squirrel Girl travels to the DC universe and meets Ratcatcher II. Enjoy! :) @oh-its-jennyyy

Doreen knew she wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Stark Industries’ prototype wormhole generator was strictly off-limits to anyone but authorized staff, and that certainly did not include Doreen. She was a new hire, fresh out of college. She didn’t belong in top-secret labs, tampering with cutting-edge technology that could alter the fabric of space and time as we knew it. And yet, there she was, hacking into the “supposedly” un-hackable security system to check it out when no one was working on it. (She was slightly more skilled in the firewall breaching and data encryption area than her supervisors were aware.)

Every cell in her body screamed at her to stop. God, what was she thinking?! If anyone caught a glimpse of her doing this, she’d be fired on the spot. But whether it was her unending curiosity or her stubbornness to blame, she kept going. She just couldn’t help it; the whole concept of wormholes and interdimensional travel was so cool! She only wanted to see what the thing could do and how far they’d come... and hey, maybe if there were any areas for improvements that she could offer ideas on-

The device, a tall, silver arch, suddenly illuminated in a bright white haze, with its center forming some sort of black void. She must have somehow turned it on by accident.

“Ohhhh shit...” she grumbled.

Frantically scrambling around to find an off-switch, Doreen quickly realized that there wasn’t one. In fact, there were no buttons or cord connectors on the device at all. Was it motion activated? Voice activated? Maybe thermally activated from body heat?

There was no time to find out. Before she could move or do anything, she felt her body pulled into the void, and everything went dark.

…

It took Doreen a while to fully process her surroundings when she regained consciousness. A bright light, that she assumed was the sun – or, at least, a sun, given that she was in a new universe – was shining in her eyes, and she had to blink a few times for her vision to adjust. She could feel hard gravel pressing on her protesting back, which begged her to sit up. When she did, she came face-to-face with a young woman posed in a defensive stance, ready to strike.

Doreen took a moment to size up her potential assailant. The woman had a small stature, much like her, with short, dark hair, a dirty black coat, and, most bafflingly of all, a rat sitting on her shoulder, which didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

“Who are you?” the woman demanded. She certainly had a bit of an accent, although Doreen couldn’t quite place what it was. Not that it would really matter, though; countries could be entirely different in this world, assuming that this even was another Earth in the first place.

Well, at least people in this universe could still speak English. That would make communication easy.

“Umm...” Doreen got out. “Would you believe me if I said I was from another universe?”

Before the woman could respond, they both jumped when they heard loud squeaking behind them. Doreen was shocked to see her three faithful companions, Monkey Joe, Tippy-Toe, and Mr. Liebermann, bounding to her side.

“Wh-? What are you three doing here?! Did you follow me?” Tippy-Toe nodded and gave an enthusiastic chirp as Doreen stroked her back. “Oh, you silly squirrels... You know you’re not supposed to come to work with me...”

The dark-haired woman, much to Doreen’s surprise, was looking at her not with disgust or judgment, but instead wide-eyed wonder and fascination.

“Are these your... friends?”

“Huh? Oh! I guess it would be rude to skip introductions. These are my pet squirrels, Monkey Joe, Tippy-Toe, and Mr. Liebermann.” Doreen stuck out her hand. “I’m Doreen Green.”

Reaching her hand out as well, the dark-haired woman tentatively shook it, apparently having decided that Doreen wasn’t a threat. “Cleo Cazo. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too! So, um... yeah... I guess you’re... wondering where I came from?”

Cleo nodded.

“Well, so... the company I work for kind of built a wormhole generator that could transport people to alternate universes. And... I guess this place is one of them. Although, I actually wasn’t supposed to be messing with it. This was all a huge accident.” After a moment, she gave Cleo a sheepish grin. “I guess that must all be hard for you to believe, though...”

The rat on Cleo’s shoulder squeaked something into her ear, and she smiled. “No, it’s okay. Sebastian says you are telling the truth. He can sense that you are an honest and kind person!” The rat suddenly scurried to a patch of grass nearby to chew a dandelion off its stem and present it to Doreen. “Aww, look! He is offering you a flower as a token of his goodwill!”

Doreen giggled as she took the flower and put it in her hair. “Thank you, Sebastian! Would you like an almond?” Sebastian squeaked happily as she reached into her pocket and handed him his gift.

As Doreen stood up, Cleo was surprised to see a long, bushy tail extending from her backside. “Forgive me if this is a rude question, but... do all people in your universe have tails?”

“Oh, no. I’m actually the only one. I was born with altered DNA that made me part squirrel. They call me a mutant because of that. Do you have mutants here?”

Cleo shook her head. “I do not think so. I have heard of people born with altered DNA, but I have never heard the word ‘mutant’ used to describe them. Your powers are so cool, though! I wish I were part rat. But I don’t have any rat blood in me. I just communicate with them and tell them what to do.”

“That’s still pretty impressive! How do you do it?”

Cleo showed Doreen her rat-guiding light. “With this. My papa taught me how. He was the original Ratcatcher. When he passed away, I became his successor: Ratcatcher II.”

“That’s amazing!” Doreen smiled at Sebastian. “Do you mind if I pet him?”

“Not at all! Can I pet your squirrels?”

“Sure!”

The girls swapped rodents, with Cleo stroking Monkey Joe, Tippy-Toe, and Mr. Liebermann and Doreen scratching the head of a very happy Sebastian. After a moment of silent contemplation, Doreen spoke up again.

“I’ve never... met anybody like me. I mean... someone who talks to small rodents. It’s a really underrated ability!”

“I know, right? Everyone always thinks I am weird or gross.”

“You know, I never got why people hate rats so much. They’re so cute and fluffy! I mean, sure, they eat garbage, but it’s not their fault! They don’t have anything else to eat! What else are they supposed to do?”

“That’s what I keep saying!”

“So... are countries still the same in this universe? Is this the U.S.?”

“Yes, we have a United States. And a Portugal. That’s where I am from. Does your universe have a Portugal?”

“Yep! It sounds like we have all the same countries! That’s a relief.”

“But this is not American soil. We are in the Hispanic nation of Corto Maltese.”

“Oh... I guess it’s a good thing I ran into you, then, instead of the natives. I don’t speak a lick of Spanish.”

“Neither do I. I don’t live here.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Cleo pointed to what looked like the ruins of a tall building off in the distance. “Cleaning up that. The ruins of Jotunheim.”

“Jotunheim? You mean, like, the place where frost giants live?”

“What are ‘frost giants?’”

“Oh... you... don’t have those here? I have a friend who’s a frost giant, so I thought that’s what you were talking about.”

“Jotunheim was once a research laboratory. They used a giant alien starfish to conduct experiments with the creature’s mind control abilities. Many people died in the process, and the American government was behind all of it.”

“That’s horrible!”

“The government sent me with a team to cover it up. But when the monster got loose, we destroyed it instead. Now, we have to clean up the damage in the city. It is not as glamorous as saving the world, but no job is too menial for the Suicide Squad.”

“The ‘Suicide Squad?’ That’s what you guys call yourselves? That’s a pretty bleak name. See, I’m part of a team called The Avengers. Now, that’s a much better name."

“Well, it’s only a nickname. Our official codename is Task Force X.”

“You know, why does the letter X always make everything sound, like, ten times cooler? Like, ‘Task Force Y’ or ‘Task Force W’ just wouldn’t sound right, would it?”

Cleo giggled. “I guess not.” She handed the squirrels back to Doreen as Sebastian happily bounded back to her side.

“Well, this has been a real treat, but I should probably get back now,” Doreen laughed. “I don’t want to get-” She froze as she looked behind her, realizing that there was no wormhole device. “Oh... I... I don’t know how to get back... Oh no, this is bad...”

Cleo put a hand on her shoulder before she could start to panic. “Don’t worry! I’m sure my friends can help you figure something out! Let’s get you back to my teammates.”

The two walked down several blocks, where a tall man with heavy-duty armor and a walking shark were waiting for them. Cleo grinned at Doreen.

“Is seeing a giant shark with legs strange in your world?”

“Well, I’m friends with a talking tree and racoon, so, not really, to be honest.”

The tall man gave Doreen a weird look. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her tail or her last rather bizarre-sounding remark. Maybe both.

“Who is this?” he asked.

Doreen cheerfully stuck out her hand. “My name’s Doreen Green, also known as Squirrel Girl! I’m from another universe!” She paused. “It’s kind of a long story. I also need help getting back home now.”

The tall man tentatively shook her hand. “Robert DuBois. Or Bloodsport. I guess we can get you down to the science people if you really want to come with us.”

Doreen took a moment to peer at him. “You know, it’s weird... You look just like this guy one of my friends used to know. Would you happen to be related to a guy called Heimdall at all? Guardian of Asgard? Watchman of the Gods? Is that ringing any bells?”

After staring blankly at her for a moment, Bloodsport turned to Cleo. “Is this girl on drugs?”

“Excuse me! I most certainly am not!” Doreen protested. “It’s strictly against company protocol to be under the influence of any substances during work hours! And I’m technically still working!”

The shark suddenly pointed at the squirrels. “Nom nom!”

Cleo sighed. “No, Nanaue, that’s not nom nom. Squirrels are friends. Just like rats.” She patted the shark’s back as he gave a dejected slump. “We’ll get you food when you get back.”

Out of nowhere, Doreen suddenly felt a tingling sensation in her body. Moving of their own will, her legs suddenly starting stumbling backwards. Her squirrels instantly jumped on her shoulder, ready to protect their human from any harm.

“Hey, where are you going?” Bloodsport called.

“I...” Doreen got out. “I think the device is pulling me back!”

“You’re leaving now?!” Cleo shouted.

“I can’t stop it!” Doreen grabbed onto Cleo’s hand in a last-ditch moment of desperation. “Cleo! Take good care of Sebastian! And don’t ever let anyone underestimate you! Trust me, I learned the hard way! People think we’re weak because they don’t understand us... But you’re stronger than you th-”

Before she could finish, she was gone.

…

Doreen collapsed on the ground, her heart racing at the familiar tile patterns. She knew this laboratory! She knew this building! She was back!

Her excitement quickly faded when she realized that return would mean consequences. Yep, she was definitely fired...

Except... there was still no one in the lab. No one had come back. Doreen checked the time. 2:15. She’d only been gone for 5 minutes! She looked around in awe at the silent room. All she would have to do now was sneak out. Had she really gotten away with it?

Slipping out the door and quietly returning to her workstation, she did her best to ignore her coworker’s questions about why she took a fairly lengthy bathroom break and whether she knew what they were supposed to be doing, instead giving them quick, uninvolved answers. Her mind was on Cleo and that strange, strange universe. It was so different, and yet... so similar to hers. The multiverse was certainly big and daunting, but no matter what people found in it in the future, no matter what research lied ahead, she knew it would always give her one source of comfort:

She’d found a friend that was just like her.

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