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lasirenatarot · 8 months

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💞What’s next for you when it comes to love? {until the end of 2023; prediction for singles}💞

« ‘cause I love to love, to love, to love you, I hate to hate, to hate, to hate you… »

Pick a picture:

*if traditional gender roles don’t apply to your situation convert the words to feminine & masculine energy*

1->2

3->4

Pile 1:

Looooooovely pile!!!

You’ve probably waited for such love for a long time. A new person might appear in your life, in your eyes s/he will be like a « knight on a white horse ».

If you DO meet this person during sept.-end of december time frame, you might meet them at work, at a bank, somewhere closely connected to money, or this person may be deep pocketed😂💰. They appear as the king of pentacles.

Something I also get is that you may feel small in comparison to them, they may be bigger in size, older or simply just way more accomplished than you which will make you have a lot of respect for them and kind of look up to them. This person may have a lot of dominant&masculine energy even if they are not a male.

The connection that appears in the cards is « beyond words ».. take this as you wish.

A lot of physical attraction is present here as well, maybe in connection with the person you’ll start a relationship with or in general, other people may be very attracted to you until the end of 2023.

You will pretty much have an open heart for new love related possibilities, you will be full of love and positive energy.

Even if you do not meet this person during this exact time frame, sth may happen that may lead you to this person later on.

The energy of this pile reminds me of pile 5 so check it out.

Messages for this pile:

- happiness;

- new possibilities when it comes to love;

- begginings; (of a new relationship, or proposal of your current partner, whatever it is it’s a beggining of a new era in love for you)

Pile 2:

Someone may try to win you over. They will view you as a “risk worth taking”. May be an ex of yours, or an ex fling, i’m definitely getting someone from the past. (Or may remind you of someone/sth old)

You may currently or during that time frame (until the end of 23’) be playing games with each other😂. Making the other a little jealous by making them know you have options,or making them see you with someone else on purpose.

Whoever this is they would want to prove themselves to you, prove that they are the best option possible- as a partner, in bed etc. They may be very competitive in nature.

They may give you gifts, help you with things (little acts of service), they are ready to do everything you need. They may act really gentle and loving towards you.

You may play hard to get with them for some reason, which may upset them, try not to overdo it, everyone has their limits.

Messages for this pile:

- sadness; (probably related to the old love)

- old love;

- pleasure; (probably $£xual)

Pile 3:

Okay so, the options are two: you either were in a serious relationship which you just ended, or you may end a relationship from september until the end of the year. This relationship may have been toxic for you. For some of you you may have a child with the other person and that may make you feel “tied” to them, which may make you doubt your decision to leave them. Or you may feel this way due to the memories you two share.

They may try to talk you out of this decision to end the relationship, they’ll try to make you stay. I feel like they may have cheated for some of you.👀

On one of the cards there’s that image where the guy pours a glass of wine in the woman’s mouth which I interpret as “feeding her” with lies& empty promises.

I think you will choose loving yourself and use your mind instead of your heart, as you’re portrayed in the cards as the queen of swords=logical, cold, does what she has to do. You will take this hard decision in order for your future to flourish.

Messages for this pile:

- an ending;

- serious relationship;

- affair;

Pile 4:

An ex might make a come back for some of you😂 this person probably wants only $€x from you, I heavily doubt they are coming for more as their coming up as the devil card, some of you may start “friends with benefits” relations with this person/ex.

I am also getting a second energy of a serious male energy, for which I am almost sure it’s a completely different person. You may want to start a serious committed relationship with them. You may feel a lot of emotions (love) when it comes to them. You two are presented here as the king and queen of cups, very emotional people.

You may finally feel “embraced”, confident in your body and truly loved during that time period.

Messages for this pile:

- new love;

- no strings attached typa relationship, nothing serious or simply you don’t intend to be serious with one another for the next few months;

- $\£x;

-ex;

Pile 5:

You may have been in this “hermit mode” for a while and have waited for love to happen to you.

However, it will only happen to you after you heal and learn to be grateful for everything you’ve got, even the little things. ( tip from me: regularly write like a list of random things you’re grateful for in your journal or a notebook).

After this time of “loneliness” you may meet someone new. May be by DMs/texts/ some sort of written communication or at a party/social gathering. This person will feel like a new beginning in your love life, you’ve never had a person like that before, you’ll view them as your emperor. They will be very attracted to you physically. You may discover things about yourself you didn’t know you liked when you’re with them. This person would make you feel safe and protected. They have a very powerful energy.

You two will have a very “intimate” connection in every meaning of the word. The energy of this pile reminds me of pile 1 so check it out.

Messages for this pile:

- new beggining;

- meeting someone new;

thank you for reading! Hope it resonated, comment if it did.💞 Don’t forget to follow for more.

- La Sirena.💋

Decks used: ‘$£xual magic’ oracle deck by Lo Scarabeo; ‘Amor et Psyche’ oracle deck by Georges Barbier and Rachel Paul;

ALL pictures are from pinterest, I don’t own anything :))

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rainyday-deer · 3 years

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I’ve been playing Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town and I have..... Thoughts™

Some light spoilers.

I can’t call it a bad game, I’m having fun, but it’s not.... Good, either.

The character customization is FANTASTIC, imo. I really like a lot of the options, and the ability to change the color of your individual eyes is pretty neat! I’ve really enjoyed the addition of being able to customize the MC in the newer games, and I’m glad it’s something they’ve kept around (even if the default MCs are rly cute too)

The addition of a moped is neat, though I’ll admit it seems... Superfluous. The horse in previous games was primarily used as a way to get around faster. I understand you have to unlock your moped, but the same goes for the horse, and with the way the game mechanics work, I have my moped back before I have the stable rebuilt, which kind of...Renders the horse moot. Why would I bother to build the stable now and waste fodder/stamina on an animal when I have a moped again?

In terms of the villagers, I can’t say I’m very attached to any of them. I’ve got a small handful that I guess I like but I’m just generally not invested in any of them or their lives.The dialogue is all very samey, and I feel like there’s little variation in what they say to me-- Which is generally a problem in most of the games, but it seems more noticeable here, and almost makes me ache for Save the Homeland’s dialogue style instead.

The voice clips are a nice touch, remind me vaguely of Magical Melody, and I’ll admit it’s a nice little touch. To be frank, the lack of visible talksprites and heart meters being hidden in notes VERY much reminds me of StH or MM, and isn’t necessarily something that bothers me (even if the camera angles get a lil wonky.)

As for how the farm works... I absolutely hate that the makers can only make one item at a time. I hate hate hate that I have several of these damn things lined up on my farm, taking up space, just so I can have the materials I need, and even then I only get ONE AT A TIME! And I need SEVERAL of these items to do anything from upgrading my tools, to expanding my house, to making clothes. In previous games, YES, you had to have certain items to do these things as well, but you (usually) didn’t need to turn ores into ingots first. Lumber was straight up logs that you cut down, and stones were actually useful. But here? HERE?

Cut the tree down. Save the logs. Put 3 logs into a maker. Get one (1) piece of lumber. Repeat ad nauseam.

By the way, there’s at least 5 different types of lumber. And grass. And you need them all for different things! And you need a lot of them for the different things!

There’s 3 mines, which are, frankly, kind of disappointing. The 3rd and largest mine is only 50 floors, and while the addition of the moles make for an... Interesting angle (and fighting off enemies isn’t new at all in certain games) it’s just... Boring. Part of the reason I enjoyed the mines so much in previous games was part of the challenge! It zapped your stamina so easily, and the further down you got, the more exciting it was! But it (personally) feels like there’s no challenge to these mines, and their low variety makes them boring. In reality, you’re only down there to get ores to shove into the ingot makers, so you can progress. (Because remember, these take more than one ore, to make just one (1) ingot!)

Your farm also has various trees and grasses growing over its 3 levels, which is all well and good. However, they crop up and grow VERY fast, including in places you don’t want them to. You have to cover spaces with flooring to stop them from popping up somewhere inconvenient, and even then, they’ll appear where you weren’t ALLOWED to place the flooring. You can’t just sickle the saplings, either. You have to mash those down with a hammer.

Your sickle is ONLY used for cutting the grass, which makes it almost useless in terms of upgrading. You cannot use it on crops, weeds, etc. Just the grass.

There’s also these blue stepping stones across your farm in various places. To my knowledge they cannot be moved or broken, and you cannot till them away, or place anything over them, resulting in wasted space, frankly.

As for the animals, it’s very... Strange? In my opinion. I’m unsure if it’s because of the mode I selected, but the livestock does not NEED to be brushed every day. Rather, when you go to take care of them, the animal will have a small speech bubble over them, indicating what they want at the moment. Your cows and goats will often have a milk icon over their head most days, and only OCCASIONALLY (in my experience) will they want to be brushed. Strangely, you don’t need to buy any tools to do so, either. You interact, they’re milked. You interact, they’re brushed. It’s all very quick, as well.

Also strangely, you have to purchase the ability to breed your chickens, rather than just putting an egg into the incubator.

As for the animal variety... I like it! The goats and the rabbits are very fun additions! And simply finding your animals (and the new varieties) randomly on your farm and then ‘taming’ them is kind of fun, but it does feel like you don’t particularly get a say in if you want to have the new animals in the first place, even if you CAN release animals via the Earth Sprites.

Which, by the way, make me miss the Harvest Sprites, very much. They’re sort of cute, I guess, but ultimately a little boring, if not helpful. Even the Spirit is... Interesting, and beautiful as she is, she’s so. Bland. You can’t really befriend her, just sort of talk to her, but it doesn’t really seem to do much.

I miss you, Harvest Goddess.........

There’s an added museum feature, very similar to animal crossing, but save for the small statues being built of animals you take photos of, it’s just another way to pad out the game, and is very unimpressive to look at.

Crop, meanwhile, are very... Eh, to me. Crops that previously used to be able to be harvested from all season, last 1-3 harvests before disappearing, and then need to be replanted--Including things like tea bushes. Thankfully, the seed makers are a maker that give you 2 seeds out of 1 item-- Though the seed bags only cover 1 tilled square, rather than 9, like in a few previous games.

Your rucksack is also limited in space-- Once again, nothing new, but very frustrating for a game that requires you to have a variety of materials on hold to make XYZ thing. The shipping bin ALSO only holds so many items, and to my knowledge cannot be upgraded. Got 25 items to ship? Sorry! You can only ship 24! Guess you have to wait until tomorrow :)

There’s also only 2 festivals per season, one of which is a mini game, while the other... Is not. It’s kind of a bummer, actually, and I don’t find myself looking forward to them at all.

It’s not all bad, though!

I do enjoy the ability to build sprinklers and let THOSE water your crops for you. It’s very time and stamina saving, and I thoroughly enjoy it.

The variety of crops and wild flowers is nice as well! You can get some crops grown wild, pop those into a seed maker, and then BOOM! You just got strawberries, or melons, or pineapples for free! Nice!

I DO like that your farm has 3 different levels, and unlocking them by fixing bridges is pretty cool, and genuinely feels like it’s been earned when you DO save up enough money (or materials) to unlock them.

The character models look pretty nice, if not a little strange at times. I feel like they can move stiffly in cutscenes, and they have very limited expressions, but they’re still nice to look at. I thoroughly enjoy the happy dance villagers do when you give them a gift they particularly like.

But...

I won’t lie to you guys, but EVERY time I pick up to play (which I’ll admit is a lot, despite my complaints), I find myself wanting to play the older games instead. Now I’ll admit a lot of the newer games could be lacking in particular areas, but there was ALWAYS a lot of enjoyment for me while playing them, so to have this absolute ACHE to dig out my ps2 or my gamecube to play Save the Homeland or Magical Melody INSTEAD is.... Kind of astounding to me.

It’s a fun game to turn your brain off and play, but I don’t think it’s deserving of the price tag-- Even with the new downloadable content on the way (that also costs money, even if you can save some with the expansion pass.). It feels oddly hollow and very... Mobile-game like to me, and while it’s not the WORST game I’ve ever played, it feels like it’s missing a lot of the charm that previous titles have had.

#Story of Seasons #pioneers of olive town #;;Harvest Moon #Moga Chatter #sos: poot #Harvest Moon

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arodrwho · 5 years

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incomplete list of low-empathy caleb moments:

i mean yeah there’s people been hurt & being killed by gnolls or whatever but my cat though???? do we have time to talk abt my cat? i need to bring my cat back what about my cat --oh uh right yeah not the time probably maybe right

we want to bring these ppl back alive of course! we’ll get more money if they are alive than we will if they’re dead! what do u mean i should feel sth abt them being in danger of dying. what do u mean that feeling should b the reason i want to bring them back alive. what. like. it’s good for them too if they live i guess? but money though???????? MONEY for US that WE need. obviously that is the priority. them living is just a bonus

i care for you a great deal and that is no small gift (2 for one “i don’t feel emotions for other people so easily” & “my care for you is a gift, it is something i give to you, it is something i intentionally choose”)

so uhhh we seemed to care abt the bird child do we also care abt this one?? like. do we. are we supposed to care, am i supposed to care? oh! oh i am, we are?? okay!! let’s go help!!!!!!!!!!!

oh the group seems a little upset about what happened on the docks in nicodranas. i am concerned that this will tear the group apart. i know what a good solution is! i will pretend that i do not have my own reservations, and instead tell them i think they did nothing wrong. that will obviously make them feel all better and solve the problem of the group potentially fracturing! what do you mean validating their emotions and making plans to avoid a repeat of the fiasco in the future would have been a better solution. what. no?? their feelings were the problem? they needed to stop having them???

yeah so my friend told me some backstory before but i did not really grok it the first time? i do not understand her feelings about her clan? i don’t feel a feeling about her feelings besides confusion so i am going to ask questions which she has already answered because i would like to understand but need clarification? this does not come easy to me even for the person i love the most? ?

yeah i’m just gonna head on back to the xhorhaus after having had a tense conversation w/a scourger & then bolted & wandered for an hour & i’m gonna act like nothing’s wrong & ask for a drink w/the guys & put whiskey in my tea. there is no reason anyone might find this alarming. .....why is this not going the way i want

i talked to the scourger again & i don’t understand her pov at all & can’t fathom her feelings & my primary feeling abt her situation is the horror & dread of That Could Have Been/Was/Is Me rather than a wellspring of sadness for her specifically, but like?? she’s a person still & so she deserves to have someone at her execution who considers her a person, so i will be there (it might have helped me, if someone had shown me that sort of “empathy”)

psssst, @caleb, this is not actually empathy! this is compassion!

like, it’s textbook compassion! it’s about decency & kindness as universally deserved!

and d’you know who holds t’that concept the most strongly, in my personal experience? low-empathy folks!!!

in conclusion. lov me that low-empathy intentionally-kind wizardfriend

#daypost #'oh caleb is so empathetic' excuse me are we watching the same show #yeah he's often real compassionate & near-invariably real kind but listen. listen.#that ain't the same thing #love is a promise bitch.

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emmerrr · 5 years

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heyyyy if you wanna write a pynch vday fic, how about one where they're like... both trying to be sneaky about planning sth for valentines day and so both think the other has forgotten about it and they're both like ://// but it all uhh works out in the end?? x

what a top notch suggestion, absoLUTELY i can write that 💕💕 (uhh heads up this got kinda long, i’ll put it on ao3 too and reblog with a link later)

Adam sat alone in a corner booth of Nino’s, History notes open on the table before him. He’d written VALENTINE’S DAY?? in the margin, underlined three times. He frowned at the words, wondering why he was fixating on them, and turned his head to stare listlessly out of the window instead.

Blue was there working, but she’d been too busy to come and say hello so far, simply offering him a harried wave when she spotted him walk in, pointing him towards the table he was now seated at. The other staff at Nino’s never bothered them anymore, knowing Blue would cover their table. Adam had heard them being referred to as “Blue’s Boys” on more than one occasion.

He was currently the only one there, having beaten Henry and Gansey out of the school gates. He assumed they’d got held up by a traffic light or two, and Ronan had further to drive than the rest of them so would likely arrive last anyway.

Thinking of Ronan immediately returned Adam’s thoughts to the words written in his notes and he scowled at the parking lot. On the surface, Valentine’s Day didn’t seem like it would be Ronan’s thing. Adam wasn’t even particularly sure it was his thing. But the fact remained that Valentine’s Day was a week away, and Adam didn’t know what, if anything, he was expected to do for it.

He tried to think back to previous years and remembered receiving an anonymous card from someone back in the seventh grade; a generic heart-shaped thing that simply said ‘Will you be my Valentine? x’ inside. He was fairly certain the sender was a girl in his English class who had never said a word to him but blushed every time she caught his eye. Adam didn’t see how he was supposed to answer whether or not he’d be her Valentine if she never told him she had sent it. And of course, she never owned up, and he didn’t want to suggest it was her in case he was wrong, and he didn’t actually want to be her Valentine anyway. So it was never mentioned again.

The difference here was that Ronan was his actual boyfriend. Didn’t that mean that they were each other’s Valentines by default, then?

Adam didn’t know. He’d never navigated Valentine’s Day before. Not like this.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear Henry and Gansey approach until they were right there.

“Oh, History notes,” Henry exclaimed. “Can I borrow them?”

Adam turned his head to see Henry already sliding the notebook towards him. “Your notes are always make more sense than mi—” Henry cut himself off, eyes widening at something on the page. Too late Adam remembered the VALENTINE’S DAY?? in the margin and slapped his hand over it, snatching back his notebook.

Henry was grinning at him. “Big plans?”

“No,” Adam muttered. “No plans at all.” He stuffed the notebook into his messenger bag.

Gansey had slid into the booth opposite Adam and watched the exchange with raised eyebrows. “What have I missed?”

“Nothing, apparently,” Henry said easily. Adam was grateful that Henry clearly wasn’t going to push it (at least not with an audience), but reasoned he could perhaps use some advice.

“So,” he started. “Valentine’s Day. Thoughts?”

“I’m glad you asked, Parrish,” Gansey said. “It was originally a Western Christian feast day honouring a couple of early saints called Valentinius—”

“Yes, thank you, Captain Wikipedia,” Henry cut in. “I’m not entirely sure that’s what he meant.”

A jug of Iced Tea was plonked onto the table without ceremony and they all looked up to Blue Sargent as she handed out glasses.

“It’s a dumb holiday invented by Hallmark to sell more cards,” she said, obviously having heard the tail-end of the conversation.

“Well, obviously there’s that too,” Gansey said, beaming at her.

Adam sighed. They were all monumentally unhelpful.

“Why the interest, Adam?” Blue asked, a knowing glint in her eye.

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “I’m just…okay, with Ronan, do I just treat it like any other day? Do I get him a card? Will he think it’s stupid? Do I think it’s stupid?”

There was a short silence as the three of them blinked back at him, and then Blue carefully said, “Do you think it’s stupid?”

Adam wasn’t sure how to answer that. The truth was that he sort of did think it was stupid, but he also thought he wanted to acknowledge it anyway. He thought doing nothing at all kind of made him look like an asshole.

In the end, it all circled back to Ronan, and whether he would care. Did he have anything planned? Was he having an internal crisis over it as well?

In lieu of an answer, Adam shrugged again.

“Speak of the devil,” Henry said, and nodded towards the entrance.

Ronan, dressed all in black (of course), had just stepped inside. He scanned the restaurant without turning his head but when he spotted Adam, his shoulders relaxed, and he smiled just a little.

Adam didn’t think he’d ever get tired of seeing that.

“Oh god, you two are the worst,” Blue scoffed as Ronan started to make his way over.

“What?” Adam said without looking at her.

“You know exactly what, Adam Parrish. You and Ronan with the googly eyes. Jesus Christ, you’re in public. Tone it down.”

“You tone it down,” Ronan said jovially, hip-checking Blue as he drew level. “What are we talking about?”

“The origins of Valentine’s Day,” Gansey said delicately.

Ronan snorted derisively. “Valentine’s Day,” he said with as much scorn as he could muster, “is capitalistic bullshit invented to sell cards and flowers and chocolate.”

“Hey man, that’s exactly what I said,” Blue said, sounding pleased, and she and Ronan fist-bumped. Adam rolled his eyes. They really were two sides of the same coin.

“You’re in my seat, Cheng,” Ronan said.

“Sit by Gansey, I was here first.”

Ronan shrugged. “Fair’s fair.” He stepped up onto the seat and over Henry and squeezed into the spot between him and Adam.

“Ronan Lynch,” Gansey hissed. “You’ll get us kicked out!”

“Calm down, Dick, no one noticed,” Ronan said. He had both arms stretched out across the back of the booth, and Adam and Henry were both leaning into him a little thanks to the lack of space.

“This is cozy,” Henry said cheerfully.

It was Blue’s turn to roll her eyes and she pulled her little notepad out of her apron pocket. “Alright, I have to actually do my job now, what do you want? Gansey, I’m assuming you want your usual half-avocado monstrosity?”

“You’re a millennial, Blue, you’re supposed to like avocados.”

Her disgusted expression was answer enough. The rest of them rattled off their food order and then Blue went off to put it through.

“Doesn’t anyone want to come and sit by me?” Gansey asked. “It’s lonely over here.”

“Oh, don’t pull that face, Gansey, you’re making me sad,” Henry said, swapping sides. He scooched right the way over to Gansey and draped an arm around his shoulder before sighing loftily. “It’s hard being this popular.”

“But someone has to do it,” Adam said drily, earning him a quicksilver smile.

“And I do it so well.”

Ronan was stopping at Adam’s for the night, but they had each come to Nino’s in their own cars so separated in the parking lot to drive over to St Agnes in a convoy.

Ronan was already peeling out of the lot by the time Adam reached his shitbox, and he was held up further by Henry calling his name. He turned and Henry jogged over, Gansey nowhere to be seen and most likely still inside saying goodbye to Blue.

“Oh, sorry,” Adam said. “You wanted my History notes, right?”

“No, that’s not — well, yeah, actually, thank you,” he said, taking them when Adam handed them over. “I actually came over here to give you some unsolicited advice.”

“About the Valentine’s Day thing?”

“That’s the one.”

Adam shrugged. “It’s not entirely unsolicited. But anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. You heard him.”

“Yeah, I heard him. Sounds like posturing to me.”

Adam tilted his head to the side. “You think?” Ronan certainly was prone to posturing.

“Sure. I mean, I have no doubt that he really does think Valentine’s Day is what he said in there, but I wouldn’t let that put you off doing something, if you wanted to.” Henry waited for a response, and when Adam didn’t offer one, he prompted, “You do want to, don’t you?”

Adam smiled wryly. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only if you know what to look for,” Henry said, but before Adam could think on that too much, he continued. “Look, I don’t know Ronan as well as you do, but even from the outside, it’s clear how he feels about you.”

Feeling himself blush, Adam immediately looked down at the ground. He did know how Ronan felt about him. It was often whispered to him in the middle of the night when it felt like they were the only two people in the world. It just took him off guard to hear it so plainly from someone else.

“Think about it, Adam. Regardless of how Ronan personally feels about what Valentine’s Day stands for, do you really think he’s going to let a day when he’s practically green-lit to be as obnoxious as possible about you just pass him by?” Henry shook his head. “Not the Ronan Lynch I know.”

Well, when it was put that way. “Did he say something to you? Do you know something?”

“Not a thing,” Henry said, and Adam believed him. “It’s just an observation and an educated guess.”

“Huh,” Adam said thoughtfully. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and tossed them in the air, catching them again, ideas already forming in his head. If Ronan was going to be obnoxious, Adam could be obnoxious too. “Thanks, Henry. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t lose my notes.”

“I will try my level best.”

Adam gave himself three rules for Ronan’s Valentine’s gift:

1) It had to be heartfelt.

2) It also had to be in good humour and not take itself too seriously.

3) It had to be cheap.

He was too sensible to spend money he didn’t have on some arbitrary gift Ronan wouldn’t appreciate. Not to mention that Ronan was impossible enough to buy for as it was; firstly he was rich enough to buy himself pretty much anything he might want, and secondly he could literally manifest his dreams. It was going to make future birthdays and Christmas’s an absolute nightmare.

(But what a wonderful problem to have.)

What it all basically meant was that Adam had to go homemade, and given that he had school and work (and Ronan) to work around, he didn’t have a whole lot of time to do it.

He borrowed Gansey’s laptop during lunch-break on Monday at Aglionby and made Ronan a mix-CD of the cheesiest love songs he could think of. It featured such classics as You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates, Heaven by Bryan Adams, True by Spandau Ballet, and many, many more. It wasn’t even remotely Ronan’s kind of music which made it funny, but as embarrassing as some of the songs might have been, they did actually somewhat echo Adam’s own feelings. He got to be a sap in the guise of it being a joke, and Ronan would get a kick out of it.

Obviously, he also added the Murder Squash Song for good measure.

Next up was a card. He could have bought one — his budget would have allowed it — but all the store ones were godawful and Adam couldn’t even imagine giving one of them to Ronan ironically.

Luckily he had an ace up his sleeve.

The first time that Ronan had stayed over at Adam’s after they were together in the very early days of their relationship, Adam had woken up to a frozen Ronan with a handful of strangely lovely flowers, the exact shade of blue as Adam’s eyes.

Adam had kept them in a cheap vase on the windowsill until they died, but unbeknownst to Ronan, he’d also taken one and pressed it to make a little print; his own private memento.

He was obviously keeping the original for himself, but he took it into the school library a couple of days before Valentine’s Day and scanned it, printing it out on some high quality photo card he’d ‘acquired’ from one of the Art rooms.

Once the ink was dry, he folded it down the middle as carefully as possible and put it inside his heaviest textbook to keep it folded and flat until he got it home.

He spent longer than probably necessary trying to decide what to write, but in the end, he went with:

Ronan,

I think maybe it was always you. I think it always will be. Happy Valentine’s Day (gross).

Love, Adam x

He didn’t have a nice envelope to put it in, so it had to go in a bigger manila one that Adam still had lying around. He slipped both the card and the CD inside, and wrote Ronan’s name in capitals on the outside.

He looked at his offering. It somehow didn’t seem enough.

Valentine’s Day was on Thursday, so on Wednesday— after school but before a shift at Boyd’s— Adam found himself in the kitchen of 300 Fox Way. He’d bought everything he needed to make chocolate brownies before he’d realised he didn’t have a tin in which to cook them in. He was also severely lacking in several other kitchen utensils, to be honest. One panicked phone-call to Blue later, and he had everything he needed and a helping hand.

Well, ‘helping’ was a strong word.

“Why brownies?” Blue asked from where she sat perched on the kitchen table.

“Because brownies are the best,” Adam said, frowning at the recipe he had printed out.

“Alright, can’t argue with that,” Blue said reasonably.

Adam was aware of her watching him while he slowly got out everything he needed and started weighing out ingredients. He felt unreasonably nervous about it, even though he knew that provided he followed the recipe, everything would be fine. Baking was a science, after all, and Adam was good at science.

But looking at it all now with Blue scrutinising his every move, he felt flustered and unmoored.

“I thought you were going to help,” he said pointedly.

“I am helping. I’m supervising,” Blue said.

Adam smiled at that. “I see. Are you the kind of supervisor who can grease this tin for me?”

“I suppose so,” Blue said loftily as she launched herself off the table.

Blue started chattering away after that which helped Adam calm down and focus on what he was doing, and it didn’t take long to make the mixture after that. Adam tilted the pan while Blue used a wooden spoon to scrape the mixture out and into the brownie tin.

After that, they just had to put it in the oven and wait.

Blue brewed up some of Maura’s least offensive tea as they sat and waited, and Adam finally asked what he’d been dying to all week.

“Do you know if Ronan has anything planned?”

Blue smiled and shook her head. “Honestly, Adam, I have absolutely no idea. He hasn’t said a word. I’ve barely seen him though, and never really without you there.” She shrugged. “If he’s got a plan he’s keeping it close to his chest.”

Adam nodded; he’d assumed as much. “I just want to know if I’m doing too much, or not doing enough? I dunno, it’s stupid. It’s only Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, but it’s your first Valentine’s Day together,” Blue said, not unkindly. “I get it.”

“What are you and Gansey doing?”

“I made him a card and found him a couple of ‘slovenly’ t-shirts at the thrift store. I’m gonna hazard a guess that he’s getting me flowers, and he told me to keep the evening free so he’s probably taking me somewhere. Wherever it is, it better not be expensive.”

Adam grinned. “Maybe it’s Nino’s.”

“God, don’t even joke, I’d murder him. Again.”

He started to laugh, and after a couple of seconds Blue joined in. When it died down, Blue put her hand on his arm.

“Don’t overthink it, Adam. Ronan will love whatever you give him, because you’re the one it’s coming from. It’s not about the gifts you get or the meal you have or how much money you spend. I think it’s more about the gesture. That’s what’ll mean the most to Ronan.”

Adam managed a small smile. “I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” Blue opened a drawer and gasped, then pulled out a heart-shaped cookie cutter. “Oh my God, Adam, you have to.”

She held out the cookie-cutter towards him and he took it, sighing. “Really?”

“Yes! This way, they’ll all be exactly the same size and I get to eat all the cut-offs. Y’know, as my fee for helping.”

And that’s how Adam ended up with nine perfect little heart-shaped brownies.

Adam didn’t see Ronan that night, thanks to finishing late at Boyd’s and then having homework after.

When he woke up in the morning, he was hit by the realisation that he and Ronan hadn’t even arranged to see each other that day at all.

He half expected Ronan to show up at St Agnes unannounced with a bouquet of dream flowers and some donuts or something. But that didn’t happen, and Adam slowly packed his messenger bag for school, remembering to include the Tupperware of Valentine’s brownies and the envelope with its enclosed card and CD.

He wasn’t sure when he’d be able to give them to Ronan, but it was better to be prepared.

Adam walked down to his car, scanning the parking lot and the street to see if there was any sign of a shark-nosed BMW. But there was nothing, and there was nothing on the way to school, and Adam made it all the way through to lunch without seeing or hearing from Ronan.

Obviously, he had no phone, and Ronan hated his own phone. But Gansey had a phone, and Ronan could have got in touch that way if he had felt so inclined.

Adam didn’t know what he’d been expecting; that Ronan would show up at the Aglionby gates with a boombox over his head blasting out Lionel Richie songs? That he’d get back to his car after school and find out his favourite hooligan had broken in and left him a giant teddy bear and a box of chocolates?

It all seemed stupid now, and Valentine’s Day was stupid, and Adam was irritated that he’d let the pressures of the day get to him. It didn’t matter. It was a meaningless day.

So why did he feel so deflated?

At the end of the day, he caved and asked to borrow Gansey’s phone.

First, he sent a text that said: it’s adam, i’m about to call you so answer the phone

He gave it a minute until he’d seen that Ronan had read the message, and then pressed the call button.

“Parrish,” Ronan said in lieu of a hello.

All at once, like always, Adam was happy to hear Ronan’s voice. And yet he still couldn’t quite shake his irritation, even though the one who’d got his hopes up was himself.

“Hey,” he replied. “Listen, were you planning on coming over tonight?”

“Nope.” It was a little difficult to tell, but Adam thought Ronan’s tone was just a little off. “You come here.”

Adam sighed. “Ronan, I have school tomorrow so I wouldn’t even be able to stay that late. Can’t you just come here?”

There was a long pause. “Opal wants to see you.”

“So bring her with you.”

“Are you kidding, Parrish, she’s filthy. She’ll mess up the interior.”

The BMW wasn’t exactly spotless inside so this seemed a flimsy excuse. Adam started to wonder whether Ronan even wanted to see him at all.

“If you don’t want to see me today that’s fine,” he said, tone clipped.

“I didn’t say that,” Ronan said, tone just as clipped.

It felt like they were heading for a fight. Adam didn’t want to fight. He wanted to give Ronan the stupid sentimental CD he’d made. He wanted Ronan to make fun of him for the brownies. He wanted a hug.

Adam was abruptly exhausted, and it didn’t matter that he’d gone to the effort and Ronan hadn’t. He just wanted to see him.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m gonna go home and shower but then I’ll head over to you.”

“Okay, good. See you in a bit,” Ronan said, and hung up.

The sun was down by the time Adam pulled up at the Barns. The heating in Adam’s car was dodgy enough on a good today, and today wasn’t a good day. It had barely come on, so his hands were like ice as he got out of the car.

He walked straight in when he got there and made his way to the kitchen. He hovered in the doorway; Ronan’s back was to him, a tea towel strewn over one shoulder, straining pasta over the sink.

Adam rapped his knuckles against the door-frame and Ronan turned around.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Adam replied. “You cooked?”

Ronan shrugged. “It’s just spaghetti.” He gestured to Adam’s messenger bag. “You brought homework with you?”

All that was in the bag was the Valentine’s gifts for Ronan, and he shook his head. “Nope.”

“Okay,” Ronan said with another shrug. “Sit. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

Adam pulled himself a chair out, and it scraped against the floor noisily in the otherwise quiet. He waited for Ronan to finish serving up and then asked, “Where’s Opal?”

“No idea. Haven’t seen her since this afternoon.”

Adam took a bite of his food. It was good. “I thought you said she wanted to see me.”

“She always wants to see you,” Ronan said smoothly. “I’m sure she’ll turn up when she spots your car.”

They finished eating in near silence, Adam waiting for Ronan to say something— anything— to acknowledge the day. But he didn’t, and the longer the silence dragged, the harder it seemed to break it.

Adam started towards the sink to do the washing up afterwards, but Ronan stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Just leave it, Parrish.”

“But—”

“Leave them. I’ll do them in the morning.”

Adam sighed, uncomfortable in the tension. He didn’t know what to do now. Did Ronan just want him to leave? And if so, why had he told him to come in the first place?

“Look, do you know what day it is?” Adam asked, unable to take it any longer.

“It’s Thursday,” Ronan said, chin jutted out, arms crossed. Adam glared; Ronan clearly knew exactly what day it was.

“Okay, great,” Adam said tiredly. He opened his bag and pulled out the Tupperware and the envelope. “Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess.”

He put them on the table and stepped away, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. He watched Ronan’s face, the expression on which had softened immediately. He looked to Adam, stricken.

“Parrish, I—”

“It’s fine, Ronan, just open them.”

Ronan snapped his mouth shut, and pulled the envelope over to him. Adam immediately felt self-conscious about his meagre homemade gifts.

“It’s not much,” he said quickly.

Ronan’s only response to this was a slight furrow in his brow. Then he took the CD out, quirking a smile at Adam’s inscription: LYNCH’S CHEESY LOVE SONG SINGALONG. It was surrounded by lots of hand drawn love-hearts that Adam now thought seemed excessive.

Ronan looked up and raised an eyebrow at Adam, a half-smirk on his face. “No track-list, Parrish?”

“It’s a surprise,” Adam said, smiling weakly, but relieved. “You’ll have to play it to find out.”

“I’ll do that,” he said with a sage nod. He put the CD down and reached for the Tupperware, pulling the lid off and tossing it aside. He looked inside and snorted. “You’ve really stuck with a theme here, huh, Parrish?”

“Hey, Valentine’s Day is all about the hearts, apparently. And to be fair, the heart-shaped brownies are Blue’s fault. She found a cookie-cutter and insisted.”

“She knew about this?” Ronan said.

“Yeah, she helped me make them.”

“That little sneak...” Ronan trailed off and let out a sharp laugh. “I asked her if she knew whether or not you were doing something, and she swore blind she had no idea.”

Adam thought about asking why Ronan had even wanted to know, but instead he pointed at the envelope. “There’s a card in there, as well.”

“In here?” Ronan turned the envelope upside down and the card slipped out into his hand. Adam watched as he took in the flower on the front, smiled a little, then did a double-take, glancing at Adam. “Hold on. Is this what I think it is?”

Adam rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I, uh, I pressed one, before they all died. I wanted to keep it, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Ronan said, something akin to awe in his voice. “I dream about them all the time.” He opened the card and read what Adam had written there, then dropped his face into his hands.

“Parrish...” he mumbled. “I feel like a fucking asshole.”

Adam went over and gently pulled the card out of Ronan’s hand, sitting down on Ronan’s lap. Ronan’s arms circled his waist automatically and he tucked his face into Adam’s neck.

“You are a fucking asshole, Lynch. I love you anyway.”

Ronan grumbled something incoherently against Adam’s skin, and Adam smiled. “What was that?”

Ronan lifted his head so he could be heard. “I said I love you right back.”

“Good,” Adam said.

“I thought you’d forgotten. And I didn’t...I didn’t want a big deal, and this day is a fucking joke or whatever, but you didn’t mention anything. And I even thought you might borrow Gansey’s phone and like, text me or something this morning? But then you didn’t and when you finally called me you sounded annoyed and I didn’t know why, and I didn’t even think you wanted to come over. So then you finally got here and you seemed mad, and so I was mad and...I’m sorry. I was here thinking you didn’t give a shit and you made stuff for me?” He hung his head, penitent. “I love my gifts. These lame brownies smell great. I’m fucking sorry, Parrish.”

“Hey.” Adam cupped Ronan’s head in his hands. “It’s fine that you didn’t get me anything. Honestly I think I just let this whole day get into my head as having to mean something when it doesn’t. I don’t need a special day to let you know how I feel. And I’m sorry if I seemed mad. I just didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t mean to make it weird.”

He leaned in and kissed Ronan briefly. “And Lynch, you cooked for me. You made me a whole meal. I’m pretty sure we’re even.” He kissed him again, until Ronan pulled back and covered Adam’s hands with his own.

“Um...you should come with me,” Ronan said, and he almost sounded sheepish.

They stood up and Ronan swiped the mix CD off the table and shoved it in the pocket of his hoodie, before taking Adam’s hand and leading him out the back door.

Confused but intrigued, Adam followed closely behind, clutching tight to Ronan’s fingers. It was cold outside and neither of them had their coats on, which Adam was about to point out when they walked around the corner of the nearest barn and he was rendered speechless by the sight before him.

In the middle of the grass was a small gazebo tent, the base of which was covered in luxurious looking blankets. There was a laptop in the middle of the floor, hooked up to a projector which was pointing at the outer-wall of the barn. A precarious tower of DVDs was piled up next to the laptop; Adam couldn’t see the titles from here but imagined Ronan had assembled a variety of choices. There was a big thermos, contents unknown (coffee? Hot chocolate?), and various other treats; big bags of marshmallows and Hershey’s Kisses and Reese’s Mini Peanut-Butter Cups.

And everywhere, there was light. Ronan’s twinkling little dream lights, some in jars under the gazebo, others hanging in the air, changing colour, like little fireflies.

“Ronan,” Adam finally managed hoarsely. “What the fuck?”

Ronan smirked. “You thought I hadn’t done anything.”

“Uh, yeah, because you let me think that!” Adam said. He was struggling to process how cosy and romantic it all looked. Let it never be said that Ronan Lynch wasn’t an absolute sap.

“I didn’t let you think anything, you jumped to that conclusion all on your own.”

Adam scowled. “Now I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t,” Ronan said, pressing a kiss to Adam’s temple. “Anyway, this is nothing.”

“It is so far from nothing,” Adam said. He stepped forward and took a turn around, taking everything in as he walked in a slow circle, stopping when he was facing Ronan again. “I thought Valentine’s Day was capitalistic bullshit?”

“Oh, it is,” Ronan said happily. “But for one, I didn’t spend a penny. And two, a whole day where I can spoil you as much as I want to and you don’t get to complain about it? Sign me the fuck up for that.”

Adam burst out laughing. “You’ve just reminded me of something Henry said.”

“What did he say?”

“I told him that I wasn’t sure whether or not you’d do anything because we hadn’t talked about it, and he said, and I quote: ‘do you really think he’s going to let a day when he’s practically green-lit to be as obnoxious as possible about you just pass him by?’”

Ronan was grinning now. “Cheng’s pretty smart.”

“Yeah,” Adam said. He caught one of the floating lights in his hand and then let it go again. “Just for the record, I think your dreaming abilities give you an unfair advantage when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Excuse you, Parrish, the only thing I dreamt up was the blankets because they’re heated. Oh, and the projector. And the gazebo. But that’s it.”

“‘That’s it’, he says.” Adam rolled his eyes, then accusingly added, “You dreamt up the lights.”

“Well, yeah, but not for this. I already had those. And the food was stuff I already had in the house, and the DVDs are ones I already own. I didn’t want to go overboard.”

Adam stared. “You are ridiculous,” he said, shaking his head. “Come here.”

Ronan went, without question or hesitation, and Adam wrapped his arms around his neck.

“This is the sweetest thing anybody’s ever done for me,” he said softly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Ronan whispered, kissing a line up Adam’s neck and across his face, the tip of his nose, his forehead, “for the brownies, for what you wrote in the card...Jesus, Adam. It’s the same for me. You know that, right? It’s always you.”

Adam squeezed tighter, feeling dangerously overcome. He breathed in the familiar, comforting smell of Ronan, and then released his grip. “And for the CD, obviously,” he said.

“Of course,” Ronan said, and smiled sharply. “Speaking of...” He pulled it out of his pocket and walked over to his laptop. “I’ll let you pick a movie in a bit, but first, I wanna listen to my present.”

He popped the CD into the drive and pressed a couple of buttons on the mouse, and a moment later the opening track started to play: I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston.

Ronan laughed, once, soundlessly, then came back over to Adam and held his hand out.

“Well?” he said when Adam didn’t move. “Are you dancing?”

Adam grinned. “Are you asking?”

“I’m asking.”

“Then I’m dancing.” He took Ronan’s hand and together they swayed, far too slowly for a song this upbeat, but Ronan didn’t seem to mind, and Adam certainly didn’t.

They didn’t speak while they were dancing, both perhaps a little shaken at the near-miss of an argument, both relieved they hadn’t let it get that far. Both content to be in each other’s company, away from prying eyes and expectations.

It was still early days. They were still learning how to do this, navigating firsts and futures and each other, but they were both quick studies, and Adam couldn’t think of anything more worthwhile than building a foundation— and a life— with Ronan.

There were trickier days to come, but for now, they’d survived their first Valentine’s Day as a couple. As they lay curled together in a blanket watching The Princess Bride projected onto the side of a barn, Adam thought he’d have to mark this one down as a win.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Parrish,” Ronan whispered into Adam’s hair.

“Ugh,” Adam said, and kissed him. “Happy Thursday.”

#the raven cycle #pynch #tumblr prompts #lesbianparrish #adamparrishes #trc

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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When I was at Governor’s School after the ‘Oh! Are you a Retardican?’ thing and getting volleyball-smashed in my finger for implying something about male-female differences (I did not say ‘traditional’ since I am pro-renovation / Pope Saint John Paul II) - started practicing the piano again, ‘Claire de Lune’ and two of Chopin’s waltzes. I didn’t know any ‘sweet’ music for girls. As a kid I liked ‘Swans on the Lake.’ One of my other favorites is Liszt’s transcription of the ‘Shepherd’s Song’ or last movement of Beethoven’s fourth symphony. Weavings and ‘declamations(?’). But to some the weavings are flower-garlands or vine-stems or sth and to some they are chains; I wonder how Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli would interpret the weavings given his ‘bulletization’ of Chopin elsewhere how his fioritura are like a figure-skater using gravity-boots and wires from the ceiling.

Watched a bit of the Int. Chop. Comp just now and realized - IMO - they’re just using the wrong pianos and have for a long time. Chopin started out IIRC with sth called a fortepiano and throughout his life preferred uprights to grands; his favorite brand was Pleyel, perhaps ‘rosewood.’ Some of these heavier grands not only obviate the possibility of the miraculous or intuitive or non-personal(?) in the fioritura (chains of gracenotes), but can cause lasting nerve-damage and even dystonia(?)(a kind of paralysis). NYT of course loves to use STEM and call everything ‘small muscle athletes.’ To achieve certain ‘pellucid(?),’ singing effect the triceps sth sth I think. To me perhaps the most totally realized pianist of 20C was Uchida Mitsuko but honesty I don’t have the money to know or the time to listen to hundreds of records. I just felt as though she never threw a note away - she had no ‘personality cult’ as a pianist. The other I admire from an ethical standpoint Wilhelm Kempff. Kempff could’ve been a ‘gr8′ Headmaster.

Milstein, Furtwaengler. Heifetz as obviously gifted but IDK if I ever felt ‘wow’ or ‘oh’ listening to him. Milstein’s ‘Chaconne’ starts to rip the chains and weavings both apart; like Bach is attacking his math or rebelling against God.

I never studied conducting but surely one of the problem has to be giving the violins a ‘true voice’ which Furtwaengler is able to do in ‘Shepherd’s Song’ along with the flutes. Orchestras need many violins and only a few trumpets ad trombones and on, but even with many the violin section can lack a ‘will to live(?),’ ‘identity,’ ‘face?’ There is a ‘bright’ at the end of his ‘Shepherd’s Song’ - literal ecstasy which IDK how he was able to inspire either the violinists or to get the other sections to back off. In America there are all these jokes and during choir break they’re playing Mario-songs on the piano.

If you lose everything that was special about you at the end of your life were you ever truly doing what you enacted or acted out? What was my most specific trait? Was it ultimately snobbery?

Lately I want to punch through doors and stuff. Maybe I ought to go back to the night at the department store with person and person; downtown Milwaukee used to have a ‘certain shade of blue’ to their Christmas-lights in 2008 but today the whole city that I can tell drank warm Burger King milk before singing ‘Deck the Halls’ and it shows. Like everyone I love ‘The Carol’ and sometimes tell myself 3-gen’s ‘Hail Mary(?)’ moment was ‘Wish Tree.’

At the hagwon I was known for leaving the side-office at the right moment ater telling a joke but it’s really easy to be like that and in the land of lemmings and Ewoks that’s all some people want like 55-year-old male nurse when I criticize him for railroading me - not giving me 1 minute to make a life-crucial decision -he comes at me with my own ‘executive style’ like, ‘How you like me now oppa?’ Like DROP FUCKING DEAD. I try to make them crisp and considerate but they don’t get that procedure and style have human consequences - that they belong to an organization that impacts lives. Just banging on their drum... no ‘chain of care,’ no ‘ownership.’ Lt’s just Thatcherize all of Wisconsin! They actually kill people this way and Biden says social media is killing people. I wasn’t asking you for peanuts or a glass of OJ I am asking to be allowed to consider my own body, psyche, soul.

And it’s like all of America or the world, Jiang Zemin. TS 1989 they ask for democracy and not only can CCP not say ‘no’ but they have no process or plan; I don’t even know. It’s like your pussy bitch father finally tried to an up - a bit like ‘Anna Karenina’ where the husband starts quoting the Bible but who knows what is in his heart or whether he has any [nunchi?]; whether say he LIKES Christianity or would feel sad or disappointed if he lost it?

CCP ccream at each other in a closed session for days. I just tell myself again, ‘Oh XJP can’t quite control his own country and Mao was a blunt-force instrument and the remains of his heyday are being mitigated even still’ but in America and Europe they’ve never seen full-blown Maoism even in the times of Hitler and Stalin, that I know of. Maybe in China after TS1989 they still let the pro-youth cadre live for decades under house-arrest, Zhao Ziyang, and maybe ‘e-flowers’ on the occasion of his passing for ‘a vanished world of love’ - ‘I am thinking of my old friend, ‘zi(?).’ I was fond of Tu Fu’s ‘Thinking of Li Bai Beyond the Sky,’ ‘Demons exult in human failure’ - but I mean literal demons not fairy-tale characters from Amy Tan stories that Chinese use to seem loveable. And that too there again feeds in to ‘Op. White Summer’ / nuke Milwaukee / uke America.

David has a sense of evil like when driving to DC with TW-1 we got lost in Fredericksburg at night - never again. Outside Madison 08. Maybe bairen didn’t manage the environment here well, there is no real wilderness, everything is ’revolving in crystal’ or ‘the glass man, without external reference.’

I would look around for n/Nature more but the pervasive disbelief-engine or anti-belief-engine or whatever is happening t me with debates over the past has made it hard to drive and I lose energy quickly except with typing. I miss my gifted student whom I tried to push to write her sci-fi novel about caste societies enabled by biotechnology but she was already pulling a Catherine Chung(?) talking about children and the coming generation instead of accomplishing the proximate mission or purpose or objective. My uncle is /was really devout and resembles Saint Paul in my mind’s eye, kept his muscles in to his 90′s, and yet the transmission of his best values encountered massive interference - kids divorced, Spice Girls(?!), cultural Christianity / Christian nationalism(?), CS Lewis and Martin Luther saying it’s cool to tell sick jokes and fart, the jocular contempt of the Gingrich-era GOP for the poor and perhaps women. And how most of my family’s money seemed to come from the arms-industry like the Sidewinder missile and eve after walking away from the mil-ind complex the mentality of massive retaliation or lethal and punitive solutions to all problems - but that is a a big intuitive leap and maybe self-serving.

One of the ‘split’ moments in my life was being offered a job at Catholic University of Daegu ad I requested 3 days to decide but was woken up in the morning at UncleHammer’s house told to leave immediately and forgot to reply b/c I had like 1hr sleep. Just shouldn’t’ve been there.

This again why I say if I don’t die from coronavirus and ever work a good job again I should just talk out any problem all night or bear any burden; 10 billion people all wanna good job and ever 36-y/o male has stories and observations.

‘Heaven and Earth.’ People tried so hard to make this world a little better, some theory of r/Revolution as bringing Heaven down to Earth and maybe now Man will go out to the stars as well.

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babyawacs · 4 years

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ohbhitte fuer euch ist doch jedes vorhang waschen eine schwerste ge isteskrankheit @bild @bild_de @phoenix_de @bundestag @bundestag weil es nur einmal im jahr vorkommt imsommer wennsie trocknen a ha selten also ploetzlich also ploetzliche umnachtung oder aha! nu r einmal imjahr batshit nuts ihr seid verachtenswert das sind geh eimdienstvergewaltigungen mit geheimdienst drogen und schaeden gifte mengeles die wechseln sich beim kinderficken ab als deutsche endl oesung vergast sogar jetzt der batshit nuts trick ist eine schade fuer jede demokratie das erste was snowden erwartet hatte mit gut em grund ent-geheimdienstet erstmal euere aertze besonders da wo m an totale kontrolle ueber den menschen erhaelt genau darumgeht es na emlich immer kontrolle oder dasgeld geld oder kontrolle /// nach 1 anzeige in der selben kammer haette das wie geloest werdenmu essen. ihr seid uhrheber mit euren diensten. wie angezeigt ihr seid widerliche sexkakerlaken die sich gegenseitig alibis geben um mehr sexkakerlakiges zutun und sich dann ein system drum gebastelt haben und sich dafuer gegenseitig gesetze zum sexkakerlakig sein gegeben haben wenns einer merkt: klapse oder tot ihrseid ve rachtenswert haetteich das wirklich auch 100mal anzeigen koennen /// #s #german #s #germany .@fisa @fisa .@judge .@judges @law .@law @laws @harvard_law @lawyercom @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @haa retzcom itswhattheydidwith acivillian goodkid ohboohoo wasabit iso lated infront of computer dueto alone among assholes badclass t2arm y ratingbody from strong tall to rubbertitts short and drugweakened art ificially within weeks months liekthat overnight for a rubbertitt shitball it did start as intelmistake while these try to make ali bis what a transvestite thatguy is and therefore thecrimes not so ba d they did you a aeh german favour itis asif lawyer flipshits tr y reinterpretations of just. not. the case. twentyyearslater tosa ve em money ontheir crimes and smears thesurvivor abit extra and bec ause can access whattheywant immienntly redmamge remess to havebeenri ght sgerman Sgermany /// #intel #lullaby itis an intellullaby ikept thesong to #howitallstarted #howitallbegan times a rubbertitt s hell : cherrylips from garbage 2001 is an intel lullaby from brits to who? somekindof transvestite? @youtubemusic @deezer @spotify ou tcast wholeworld intellullabytoo /// the implication of hideous i s just. not. the case. the germans implying things iwould hide to g ermancure @law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom . @law @laws .@harvard_law that is just. not. the case itis deedt yped or its not the case because e v e r y f a r t is deedtyped ando ften readoutloud t h a t it gets through on chambersurveillance for replaced phones the opposite of hide it but youknow now h o w they try to fake what like yourenotyou tonaswinn trick they a l l are! themselves evenif playpretend theyre arnoldschwartzenrampbo to reounce pain or tacklefears the all a r e themselves allof em all 10 0cases e v e r //// lawyers thisis germany thismeans that i earne dmyself 92billioneuro orjust 62billion as my share only of 233billion wealth generated and that they avert immunisation formality to steal they shuffle proxies and theyshuffleharms thegerman government +criminal timecontrol accomplice are daytime charged and the fo rtune is daytimecourt demanded from 6ar50/19 in d74821 signbankrup tcy youhobo 1k347/18 financial court stuttgart taxbullshit taxcredit eu humanrights court echr2800/10 fivetimes to 3781/20 fringe quel l kill sexualassaultwith minors this allmeans they damage you to a hobo whenthey think its how it should be by howthey fraudyou intothe ir edge of existence why dothey getaway withit ///// they sepa rate the fortune a n d the performance because they usually and alw ays gotaway with that trick tellme that trick isnew cmonnow they bum leech with magflightrises seewhichtrickworks tokeepitas dayfool +steal @law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom .@law @laws btw lawyers you highlight e v e r y shred of our h umanity we granted them used against us example wouldbe: giving al lkids from stolensperm- stolensperm notevenspermdonnation letalone fr ivolousgains- grantingthem the same material backing as the kids with wi fe and no ranking would be hedged in o n e of them one o f 40 as a lawyer trick worked and then extra dirty tries and the n that money granted pyranha squandered onthem for dirtytricks thi s must not happen wesave the minors but we dontlet scums sell us as crud //// ringlattice algorithm helps tocancelout early fal se approximations itisntjust efficency @wired @wireduk @intel @apple @ amd @samsung @huawei @mathematics #ais #ai is about approximating awa y errors in a trillion trial+error /// hey #LNL6 #LNL7 #ai : whosyo urdaddy? whooooos your daddy? highfive!! @stein32 @bild @bild_de @phoenix_de diegedanken waren nie frei vor jahren jahrzehnt en wurde im geheimdienst koma drogen eine weitere verabreicht mit de r wiederholte man einfach auf koma was man vorher ohne coma dachte he ute liest eine gehirnschere implantat aus was das gehirn dachte denk t und das realtime 99prozent der gehirne die das feuerten dachten r ote socken gedanken ausgelesen ohne geheimdientkoma zeit undohne bab bel droge smashwords.com/books/view/552210 I am Christian KISS Bab yAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHO LE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] PHONE / FA X +493212 611 34 64 Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/Chris tianKiss /// #lawyers iflocalbank tries totax those sums,byhalf,but doesnt give 70bucks to exist. itis criminal @law @ap @reuters @bbc_ whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom #lawyers pleasecmonnnow. that ci villian rescued xyz minors and repaired yzx humans without getting an ything backfromit ever as randomacts of kindness efforting xyzy sum ove r yx years notarstamp facts. he did so mostly with support system by yxz percent as germans avert any options daytime. fact and confirm ed is xyz peoplelive becauseofthat and yxz minors amongthem idontt think its show off ever its forgotten andquelled and twisted with ger man sexcrimes ongerman inteldrugs the nextbest evil that did such athing was /// howmuch effort was to ignore and coverup t e n ye ars intel hell. for early 2000s itwas psychological hercules #hercule @law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom letalone a nother tenyears on of that wheres the effort of ignorance count if itisnt blindness to pathologise /// itis o b v i o u s thereis no mechanism inplance whentheyre morons or wrong or biased they just weasel personal ga in tricks to havebeen right untilthe next bullshit andits always b een that way demess fooltemplating erasers or damamge turnbackcloc k and foolmesses forehead avert a n y bs and trick analysis i s a superpower its always been a reasonable responsible disciplined sophisticated refined person even askid uegiash okosh sensibelchen the child realmtime things three languages babyword on with fourth heavy accent classbest first third only in second righton to third inthisland instead acclimatisation repeat - b b b s all in all the basis until age 10 ifthey measure their migrant kids is with modern s cience not possible that it remotely is their shitty stigmas forgot ten twolanguages learned two new plus piano withits notes plus comput ingbefore it was easyto use namely dos stuff as only infamily and bul lshit like xmas recording the wish not fulfilled teased namely ruleso fengagement2 because rulesofengagement1 was so awesome as the bold counterteasing in simple all critical things like rebellions so phistication discipline like newspaperjob fouryears or three allo fthis stuff is notjust contradictory to most ofthe german shitballs it shows with factuality that they damage it regularly to have been right that noone only doesnt correcttheir shitballs but that they regularly d a m a g e it to have been right that it fits shitball s that are by factuality jsut. not. the case. not possible by any mea ns factually. that they made a system where itis enough that a foo l intel is reminded of sth thenmesses to have been right as ifther es an incentive then or a punishment ifthey werent right ibet they getpaid inthe rain with the shit they do with civillians and now yo u I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophisticati on #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ In [email protected] PHONE / FAX +493212 611 34 64 Helpful? Pay. Suppor t. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

ohbhitte fuer euch ist doch jedes vorhang waschen eine schwerste ge isteskrankheit @bild @bild_de @phoenix_de @bundestag @bundestag weil es nur einmal im jahr vorkommt imsommer wennsie trocknen a ha selten also ploetzlich also ploetzliche umnachtung oder aha! nu r einmal imjahr batshit nuts ihr seid verachtenswert das sind geh eimdienstvergewaltigungen mit geheimdienst drogen und schaeden gifte mengeles die wechseln sich beim kinderficken ab als deutsche endl oesung vergast sogar jetzt der batshit nuts trick ist eine schade fuer jede demokratie das erste was snowden erwartet hatte mit gut em grund ent-geheimdienstet erstmal euere aertze besonders da wo m an totale kontrolle ueber den menschen erhaelt genau darumgeht es na emlich immer kontrolle oder dasgeld geld oder kontrolle /// nach 1 anzeige in der selben kammer haette das wie geloest werdenmu essen. ihr seid uhrheber mit euren diensten. wie angezeigt ihr seid widerliche sexkakerlaken die sich gegenseitig alibis geben um mehr sexkakerlakiges zutun und sich dann ein system drum gebastelt haben und sich dafuer gegenseitig gesetze zum sexkakerlakig sein gegeben haben wenns einer merkt: klapse oder tot ihrseid ve rachtenswert haetteich das wirklich auch 100mal anzeigen koennen /// #s #german #s #germany .@fisa @fisa .@judge .@judges @law .@law @laws @harvard_law @lawyercom @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @haa retzcom itswhattheydidwith acivillian goodkid ohboohoo wasabit iso lated infront of computer dueto alone among assholes badclass t2arm y ratingbody from strong tall to rubbertitts short and drugweakened art ificially within weeks months liekthat overnight for a rubbertitt shitball it did start as intelmistake while these try to make ali bis what a transvestite thatguy is and therefore thecrimes not so ba d they did you a aeh german favour itis asif lawyer flipshits tr y reinterpretations of just. not. the case. twentyyearslater tosa ve em money ontheir crimes and smears thesurvivor abit extra and bec ause can access whattheywant immienntly redmamge remess to havebeenri ght sgerman Sgermany /// #intel #lullaby itis an intellullaby ikept thesong to #howitallstarted #howitallbegan times a rubbertitt s hell : cherrylips from garbage 2001 is an intel lullaby from brits to who? somekindof transvestite? @youtubemusic @deezer @spotify ou tcast wholeworld intellullabytoo /// the implication of hideous i s just. not. the case. the germans implying things iwould hide to g ermancure @law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom . @law @laws .@harvard_law that is just. not. the case itis deedt yped or its not the case because e v e r y f a r t is deedtyped ando ften readoutloud t h a t it gets through on chambersurveillance for replaced phones the opposite of hide it but youknow now h o w they try to fake what like yourenotyou tonaswinn trick they a l l are! themselves evenif playpretend theyre arnoldschwartzenrampbo to reounce pain or tacklefears the all a r e themselves allof em all 10 0cases e v e r //// lawyers thisis germany thismeans that i earne dmyself 92billioneuro orjust 62billion as my share only of 233billion wealth generated and that they avert immunisation formality to steal they shuffle proxies and theyshuffleharms thegerman government +criminal timecontrol accomplice are daytime charged and the fo rtune is daytimecourt demanded from 6ar50/19 in d74821 signbankrup tcy youhobo 1k347/18 financial court stuttgart taxbullshit taxcredit eu humanrights court echr2800/10 fivetimes to 3781/20 fringe quel l kill sexualassaultwith minors this allmeans they damage you to a hobo whenthey think its how it should be by howthey fraudyou intothe ir edge of existence why dothey getaway withit ///// they sepa rate the fortune a n d the performance because they usually and alw ays gotaway with that trick tellme that trick isnew cmonnow they bum leech with magflightrises seewhichtrickworks tokeepitas dayfool +steal @law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom .@law @laws btw lawyers you highlight e v e r y shred of our h umanity we granted them used against us example wouldbe: giving al lkids from stolensperm- stolensperm notevenspermdonnation letalone fr ivolousgains- grantingthem the same material backing as the kids with wi fe and no ranking would be hedged in o n e of them one o f 40 as a lawyer trick worked and then extra dirty tries and the n that money granted pyranha squandered onthem for dirtytricks thi s must not happen wesave the minors but we dontlet scums sell us as crud //// ringlattice algorithm helps tocancelout early fal se approximations itisntjust efficency @wired @wireduk @intel @apple @ amd @samsung @huawei @mathematics #ais #ai is about approximating awa y errors in a trillion trial+error /// hey #LNL6 #LNL7 #ai : whosyo urdaddy? whooooos your daddy? highfive!! @stein32 @bild @bild_de @phoenix_de diegedanken waren nie frei vor jahren jahrzehnt en wurde im geheimdienst koma drogen eine weitere verabreicht mit de r wiederholte man einfach auf koma was man vorher ohne coma dachte he ute liest eine gehirnschere implantat aus was das gehirn dachte denk t und das realtime 99prozent der gehirne die das feuerten dachten r ote socken gedanken ausgelesen ohne geheimdientkoma zeit undohne bab bel droge smashwords.com/books/view/552210 I am Christian KISS Bab yAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHO LE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] PHONE / FA X +493212 611 34 64 Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/Chris tianKiss /// #lawyers iflocalbank tries totax those sums,byhalf,but doesnt give 70bucks to exist. itis criminal @law @ap @reuters @bbc_ whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom #lawyers pleasecmonnnow. that ci villian rescued xyz minors and repaired yzx humans without getting an ything backfromit ever as randomacts of kindness efforting xyzy sum ove r yx years notarstamp facts. he did so mostly with support system by yxz percent as germans avert any options daytime. fact and confirm ed is xyz peoplelive becauseofthat and yxz minors amongthem idontt think its show off ever its forgotten andquelled and twisted with ger man sexcrimes ongerman inteldrugs the nextbest evil that did such athing was /// howmuch effort was to ignore and coverup t e n ye ars intel hell. for early 2000s itwas psychological hercules #hercule @law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom letalone a nother tenyears on of that wheres the effort of ignorance count if itisnt blindness to pathologise /// itis o b v i o u s thereis no mechanism inplance whentheyre morons or wrong or biased they just weasel personal ga in tricks to havebeen right untilthe next bullshit andits always b een that way demess fooltemplating erasers or damamge turnbackcloc k and foolmesses forehead avert a n y bs and trick analysis i s a superpower its always been a reasonable responsible disciplined sophisticated refined person even askid uegiash okosh sensibelchen the child realmtime things three languages babyword on with fourth heavy accent classbest first third only in second righton to third inthisland instead acclimatisation repeat – b b b s all in all the basis until age 10 ifthey measure their migrant kids is with modern s cience not possible that it remotely is their shitty stigmas forgot ten twolanguages learned two new plus piano withits notes plus comput ingbefore it was easyto use namely dos stuff as only infamily and bul lshit like xmas recording the wish not fulfilled teased namely ruleso fengagement2 because rulesofengagement1 was so awesome as the bold counterteasing in simple all critical things like rebellions so phistication discipline like newspaperjob fouryears or three allo fthis stuff is notjust contradictory to most ofthe german shitballs it shows with factuality that they damage it regularly to have been right that noone only doesnt correcttheir shitballs but that they regularly d a m a g e it to have been right that it fits shitball s that are by factuality jsut. not. the case. not possible by any mea ns factually. that they made a system where itis enough that a foo l intel is reminded of sth thenmesses to have been right as ifther es an incentive then or a punishment ifthey werent right ibet they getpaid inthe rain with the shit they do with civillians and now yo u I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophisticati on #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ In [email protected] PHONE / FAX +493212 611 34 64 Helpful? Pay. Suppor t. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

ohbhitte fuer euch ist doch jedes vorhang waschen eine schwerste geisteskrankheit @bild @bild_de @phoenix_de @bundestag @bundestag

weil es nur einmal im jahr vorkommt imsommer wennsie trocknen

aha selten also ploetzlich also ploetzliche umnachtung

oder aha! nur einmal imjahr batshit nuts

ihr seid verachtenswert das sind geheimdienstvergewaltigungen mit geheimdienst drogen und schaeden

gifte mengel…

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