#the commonality. not to overshare. is that i was raped in 2013 by someone who then went to court in 2015-16 following another incident

[thedreadvampy]

hey fun thing. fun thing I'm experiencing lately. is that the case which every terf journo in the fucking UK is freaking themselves about FINALLY being able to put on the front page - trans woman convicted of rape sent to women's prison - is uhhhhhhhh. really close to home? emotionally? for me? and it's on every fucking newsstand????

(obviously transparent as fuck every time that everyone's suddenly so concerned about the wellbeing of women in prison when all the same publications are usually in the CRIMINAL SCUM PRISONS ARE TOO SOFT TRAIN but OKAY. OKAY. since you suddenly care so much about female prisoners shall we uhhhhh idk address the rate of sexual assaults by guards? police? other cisgender prisoners? maybe rethink the whole 'prison' thing as a whole? oh this is just about how you think trans women are scary again? cool. cool cool cool.)

#red said #the commonality. not to overshare. is that i was raped in 2013 by someone who then went to court in 2015-16 following another incident #and that was a wake-up call for her about her increasingly bad drug and alcohol use and blackouts (which was what happened in both cases) #and so she started self examining on that and partway through the case she realised she was trans #and the thing is i know this bc despite what she did we were still friends by the time it went to court #i was a supporting witness because my experience was used as evidence that it was a pattern of out of control behaviour #anyway it dragged on for a while. even longer bc she was a us national in the us military so the civil case was dropped but #there was also a military investigation #which i didn't have to provide evidence for in the end but i was on the hook not knowing if i would need to for like. another 2 years. #anyway the transition aside there's a lot else about this case which resonates with my experience during that time??? #and it sucked a lot going through that case and i would prefer not to have to think about it every time i pop to the fucking supermarket??? #(also this is gonna sound bad but the thing i resent most about that whole affair was that during the case and her early transition #she leant on me for support a LOT? so i was doing all this trauma reliving and giving witness statements but also before and after that #she called me almost every day to talk about the toll it was taking on her. and i was like. i think you're right to talk about this #and i think you need support right now #but i also think. it's fucking wild that you think I'm the person to offer that when i just told you you assaulted me in a drunken blackout #like. my big Sick Trauma Feeling memories from that time are a) court and b) Oh No My Phone Is Ringing Again #anyway. this is a big trauma dump that may be misinterpreted which is why i don't talk about the case that much? #but this is part of why i hate terfs so much. the insistence on treating an individual's shit behaviour as condemnation of All Trans People #makes it Really Fucking Hard for those of us who've experienced individual shitty behaviour from a trans person #but recognise that that's just a statistical probability based on how many people do shitty things in the population at large #to talk about harm we've experienced without being coopted to a genocidal narrative