me thinking about how elayne has a boyfriend who is her half-brother's half-brother and with whom her other brother (who is dating her boyfriend's ex) is in a one-sided homoerotic rivalry, and they all have daddy issues because their dad tried to kill their mom but was killed by their mom's ex-boyfriend who is now dating their aunt whose girlfriend is dating their mom's other ex-boyfriend, and also elayne and her boyfriend are in a polycule with their two other girlfriends (one of whose people have an ancestral feud with elayne's grandfather) and their other boyfriend who is married to the empress in charge of the people who once enslaved elayne's brother's girlfriend
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Remember when Headcanon used to mean 'Stuff I think could happen or could have happened off-screen that stays in the spirit of the narrative' and not 'making shit up so these two characters act out shitty coffeeshop AU scenarios'
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New tf2 AU time besties <3
Major gore warning for the story!! Seriously. It's kinda bad so keep reading with caution ⚠️
Cheavy realizes what he has done, and deems it pointless to keep having Medic around anyways. So to ensure the man dies he confiscates the medigun and leaves Medic to bleed to death. Which he does, very quickly and painfully.
Okay so basically, this is a barely thought out (as it often is) shitty little au where, early on during Medic's recruitment into the TFC team, Cheavy snaps after having to endure misdemeanor after misdemeanor from Medic, and rips his tongue out in a fit of rage for "talking too much".
Idrk what happens between Medic and the Devil, but what I got so far is that the Devil decides eternity in Hell isn't a suitable punishment for Medic. Instead he sends him out back to the mortal plane as a ghost, unable to interact with the people and the world in any way, cursed to watch his team move on without him and spend centuries isolated into a slow decent to further madness.
And then the TF2 comic events happens, and Medic finds out holy shit, he can interact with people, but only with his teammates and through possession. Turns out the time he spent dying and coming back to life in the Respawn machine with the others kinda fucked up the ghost logic and he found a loophole, yayy 🎉🎉🎉
He cannot speak as a ghost (because no tongue, duh) so he uses his teammates as his voice, and sometimes Archimedes, which is very horrifying to hear and see for everyone concerned <3
No blood version:
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you are the main character in a self-fellating avant garde psychological horror film.
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the film is about You. it can feature whatever scenes or tropes or moments you want, even drawing from other genres, but ultimately this is a self-important exploration of You. don’t forget that.
when i say self-fellating i mean that it is simultaneously highly indulgent and self important about that indulgence. this film will be about everything you want it to be and it will act like it’s the best shit ever. whether or not it actually is the best shit ever or a horrible flop is up to you.
no you can’t pick anything other than these options. art through adversity baby do your best
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