#the DILF must be much older than 20

[ivvmell]

ive never understand people who calls the 20.y.o guy a dilf only bc of kid he looks after

#the DILF must be much older than 20 #you have to understand and stop stigmatize the young ones and the old ones #the 20 t.o guy who cares about kid running around is more brother i like to fuck not the dad lmao #WHEN hell turn to 40 y.o ± ITS would be DILF

[noroi1000]

Here a cute request it when Gojo meets y/n father for the first time but thing is that he is a total dilf so Gojo mistake him as y/n date or rival to y/n. As for how they meet is? It when y/n get ready to go for her father day. But while her father is waiting for her to be ready. Gojo see him and y/n dad tell him he is here for y/n and then Gojo try to get him to leave but y/n dad realise that Gojo mistook him as date and instead correct him. He decided to have fun with him for good while. Then when y/n come to meet her dad. She like dad I’m ready for our father and daughter day and then Gojo like wait dad??? I can imagine Suguru and Shoko laughing their ass off at this situation. Oh you can choose which Gojo you want to use teen Gojo or adult gojo. It entirely up to you

Father's Day

Paring: Gojo x reader

Shot type: fluff comedy

Summary: Your best friend mistakes your father for your boyfriend. His mind began to think only that you like Dilf, and did not let him explain what is true.

Today was Father's Day, and Satoru thought you invited them on some outing to have a good time out. No one had to celebrate that day or party with dad all day. Well, you invited them to go out on the town together to have a good time. So he agreed without hesitation. Probably as well as Geto and Ieiri, because they also enjoyed spending time with you.

You were friends, and maybe there was even a chance that the two of you would be together someday? But this is nothing confirmed. You are 18 years old. You still have time. For now as friends, later everything will be revealed. Because he likes you very much.

And also he is able to chase all your potential boyfriends. Because your best friend can't easily find someone suitable for you who isn't himself.

However, your relationship is best friends for now. Just enough.

And with the kind of guys you've surrounded yourself with, it's going to be a little hard for you to find a boyfriend who lives up to their standards.

According to Shoko, your boyfriend can't be too old, especially since you're 18.

According to Suguru, your boyfriend can't be too young because he will act like a brat.

According to Mei Mei, your boyfriend can be older than you as long as he knows how to spoil you and is handsome enough.

According to Utahime, you should follow the voice of your heart and choose someone who suits you.

Nanami said something similar, saying that you need to find someone with whom you will have a good time.

And Satoru said it all at once. At the same time denying it and confirming it. He was literally describing himself at times.

But something else must be said, he was saying it unconsciously. Because he didn't know what to say to his friend, also to the person with whom there is a chance that something will develop between you.

Your parents say so, all your relatives say so. And Satoru, even if he's never met your parents, knows that they must know well who would suit you.

Therefore, when he saw a rather tall man standing at the exit from the side where you lived for some time, he began to wonder who he was.

He stood next to you on the other side, waiting for you to go.

But then the man next to you got the call and when he said your name, including "I love you, see you soon" his jaw clenched and his eyes widened.

Was he your new boyfriend or what?

Who was this guy?

He looks at least 20 years older than you.

Honestly, Gojo never thought your type might be a dilf. Older, you can see that he's had some life behind him. Even the ring on his finger...

If you're dating an older, married man, he needs to talk you out of it quickly.

He looked more closely at the man nearby. His arms were wrapped tightly in a long-sleeved black sweater with gray pants. His jaw was sharp and his eyes small. He was obviously older than them. Light stubble on his face, and a firm solid posture of his whole body.

Do you like such men?

If he said "I love you" to you, there must be more to your relationship.

And you never said anything about you having a boyfriend.

Later he got a call from his friends. Who asked him where he was with you.

As he said your name, the older man looked at him questioningly.

"Are you (y/n)'s friend?" he asked referring directly to him. And he also immediately showed that he had no bad intentions at all.

"I'm her best friend," he murmured. "And who are you? I didn't think (y/n) would have a boyfriend like that... I thought I was her type."

"What? No. I'm not her boyfriend. I'm her–"

The white haired man interrupted him before he could continue.

"Are you her friend? lover? sugar daddy? Some guy who will fight for her attention? I know I'm her type, so don't try so hard. Because even if you're her boyfriend and she likes older men who are literal dilf, I'll be better."

"What the hell are you talking about? I came because (y/n) wanted us to spend the day together." He growled looking at the slightly taller teen.

"She was supposed to spend the day with us today. If she wanted to introduce us to her boyfriend, you don't mean to. Go where you came from and let her be with someone her age. Even though she likes Dilf so much... I'm a bit older than her.” He rolled his eyes.

"I'm here for (y/n), and how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not her boyfriend. She's important to me, but I would never be her boyfriend. She's mine-."

Again he couldn't finish.

"I don't want to hear about her being your sugar baby."

"You're wrong. I'm her -."

"Oh, hello Satoru."

Geto and Shoko came to wait for you as well.

"What's going on here?" asked the dark haired man.

"I'm just telling this guy that it's not possible for (y/n) to like this type of guy like him." He pointed at it with his thumb.

"Satoru, I don't want to scare you or hit your ego, but he's–"

"You're all here! Thank you for coming!" You said cheerfully as you walked over to them all.

You smiled brightly at the older man and walked over to hug him.

"I'm ready for our father and daughter day. Thank you for coming." You said as you pulled away from him.

"Wait... Father and daughter day...?" Satoru asked as his body froze for a moment.

"I tried to tell you that, boy." said the man.

"Satoru? Something's wrong? This is my dad. (f/n) (l/n)."

He didn't know it.

Why didn't he know your dad was coming today?

Why did he mistake him for your boyfriend?!

Why did he think you like dilf?!

Why did everyone know except him?!

His mouth was open as he looked at you. He didn't know if he should apologize or just leave.

Especially when he heard Suguru and Shoko snorting with laughter.

#gojo fluff #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojou satoru x you

[queenshelby]

I'm extremely excited for your new take on the Emmett fic (loved the original version) but I'm not gonna lie, I'd love if you made the reader maybe a little older? Like in her late 20s instead? I'm around that age and I rarely see Cillian's characters paired with someone who is a lot younger yes, but still not so young they're like 20-24. It just feels a little weird to me when they're so young whereas past 25 you're an adult with a fully developed brain and priorities and responsibilites more in line with someone that much older than you. And honestly there's a big difference mentally between being in your latter half of your 20s and your initial. Does that make sense? I just find it more realistic to read. Hope you don't find this rude or anything, I don't mean it to be, I just thought I'd give some feedback. Still a big fan of your stuff!

Hey love, no not rude at all. I think I write the age gaps because I honestly have a little crush on cillian as a DILF. I myself are now past the age of 25 but met my long term partner at the age of 20. She is a fair bit older than me and I must say that maturity depends on your upbringing as well as character in general. But that’s just my opinion. I like the taboo in it all and whilst I had some older characters in some of my fics for cillian, in Emmett’s story the reader will be 23/24 ans this will be seen as a taboo but there is a reason for it too. Emmett will not be impressed to say the least… xxx

[regrettablewritings]

New season is out, so can I request 2, 13 and 17 for Steve Harrington please? Ty 💗

Every season b like

Steve: New year, new job

This has nothing to do with anything, i just wanted to make this crappy joke here ya go --

2) Who they want to please most: It would depend predominately on where he’s at in his life because the Steve we know now is not the same Steve we first met.

For most of his teens, Steve projected the image of a cool, confident guy who ruled Hawkins High with an iron coif: He had nothing to prove to anyone and, if anything, it was everyone else who had to prove to him they were worth the time of day. However, at the end of the day, Steve was the one who felt he had something to prove, and there were only so many smirks and wild parties he could throw to hide this fact. Even from himself.

The people whom he considered “friends” were more like people with whom he associated with; they weren’t the type he could be completely open with, though. Vulnerability just wasn’t welcome in their circle; it bummed people out, and Steve wasn’t supposed to be the droopy, emotional guy. But they were all he really had at the end of the day, and it wasn’t as though his old man thought he was even within a mile of the expectations placed on him. So Steve often found himself wilding out: He partied even when he was tired, he said and did mean things, he carried himself with an unearned level of arrogance.

But now he looks back on those days and grimaces.

“Jeeeeeesus!” he groans when a sudden memory splatters to the forefront of his mind one day. Thank God the kids didn’t really know him back then; that would’ve been embarrassing. Horrifying, really.

Because nowadays, Steve Harrington surrounds himself not with the cynical, “popular” crowd of yesterday, but a group of suspicious and cynical oddballs (mostly kids) whom he often finds himself playing babysitter. And despite how much griping and moaning he might do whenever shit inevitably hits the fan, Steve knows deep down he couldn’t be happier.

Because before, Steve sought to please people out of fear of rejection and disappointing them. But now he’s just driven to see that the needs of his friends are met because God knows after everything they’ve been through, they need it. Himself included, mind you: He thinks he’s earned himself some respect after fighting monsters, asshole older brothers, and the KGB

13) What kind of parent they would be: How he is now sets up a pretty good foundation of what type of dad Steve would be: Dry sense of humor, but surprisingly supportive with a stretchable tolerance for shenanigans despite how much he may complain. He’s very protective but probably even more so than he naturally would have been, given that the kids he’s been watching over live on a powder keg of weirdness and destruction.

Given further growth (and perhaps moving away from Hawkins), these traits would more likely than not stick. But on top of that, as a whole, it must be said: Steve would probably be That One Dad who everyone simultaneously sees as a dork, but also . . . he’s like a dork in a hot kind of way. Not quite a DILF but . . . Okay, yeah, maybe. Just a bit. His kids will never believe him when he insists he used to practically run the place back in high school but their friends’ moms (and a few of their dads) will taker a look at that healthy head of hair and that boyish smirk of his and will humor the idea.

But getting back to the point!

Given the people who’ve shaped his late-teens, early-20s (the Kids, Robin, Nancy), he’s just used to being around people with strange interests. Yeah, he doesn’t get LARPing and has no fucking clue what a Pokey-man is, but he’s still going to drop his kid off to go play dress up at the park, and he’ll nod along as they rant about something called a Myoo-too being “way too powerful”. And mind you, it’s not for lack of trying: Steve just doesn’t always get it. But he’s glad his kid somehow does because God forbid they grow up with his brains, he jokes.

The one thing of his he would definitely want them to have, though, is his perseverance. Which is a vague way of saying he hopes they can hold their own and fight if they can’t use their brains to get out of a situation.

It doesn’t matter if the stuff in Hawkins cleared or even if he moved away: Everything that happened completely affected him on so many levels that it’s hard for him to just embrace the world at face value, especially when his kid is involved. There could be enemies lurking beneath their very feet for all he knew!

His kid will spend years not knowing how much their dad debates on whether or not he should show them the barbed-wire bat he keeps locked up in the garage. The older they get, the more his mind gets dragged back to it. Would they benefit from knowing, even if nothing ever happens? Would they even believe him if he told them? A younger him might’ve leaned more towards keeping the truth secret but now? He isn’t so sure.

He never wants his child to hide things from him – he knows it’s bound to happen, but he just hopes their bond is strong enough that they at least feel comfortable telling him about things they’d discovered. Whether it’s about their sexuality, or that they found a quadrupedal monster escapee from some nuclear test site hanging out in their backyard. Because, hey, it could totally happen at this point.

All in all, an S-Tier Dad.

17) What they'd sing at karaoke:

It would depend on one main factor: Is there a cute girl present? If so, something by Bruce Springsteen. If not, still something by Bruce Springsteen.

Steve may not be a Dad yet (and Springsteen may not be Dad Rock yet), but the writing has been on the wall: Steve and The Boss have been cleaved together, forever more. And he’s gonna use that bond to bind himself to a sweet little lady.

 . . . Now if only he could actually sing it.

“I’m On Fire” is a very soft, quiet song, so you’d think it’d be easy enough to honey up the honey across the room while he’s making bedroom eyes, right? Wrong! Robin watches in two-parts amusement, three-parts horror as her ears and try their damndest to make sense of what the hell is going on up there.

Wasn’t this the same guy who boasted about being a good swimmer? Shouldn’t he have better control of his breath if that’s the case? Why does it sound like his own voice is trying to crawl out of his mouth like it doesn’t want to be associated with him!?

These questions, unfortunately, are never answered. Worse: That cutie Steve had been serenading from across the room somehow didn’t feel pulled in by his siren song.

He tries not to be too bummed out by it, instead choosing to go up again to sing something more upbeat. In all fairness, it’s a lot easier to forgive tone deafness when the person singing seems to be having fun. Or is a little buzzed.

Is he totally butchering “Rosalita”? Absolutely. Are his awkward attempts at hip gyrations and trying to look like a stud giving Robin both secondhand embarrassment and the need to hurl? Oh, completely.

There is no upside to this: Steve cannot sing, and Robin regrets convincing him to try out karaoke with her.

Thank you so very much to the anon who requested! I’m so sorry it took this long!!!!

#steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington headcanon #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things headcanon #character hc meme #regrettablewritings #I am fully aware that Joe Keery has a lovely singing voice #however it is self-care for me when i write characters played by people who CAN sing as being unable to carry a note #*posts this while ignoring the internal fear that Steve is potentially on the chopping block*

[mull3ts]

Redirecting to... hotdilfsinyourarea.net (18+)

(⚠︎ dilfs, stepdads, and age gaps)

!! WELCOME 2 HOT DILFS IN YOUR AREA !!

Why bed an inexperienced college classmate when you could bed a real man who knows how to fuck?! Sign up now to start chatting with real men who know their stuff. You must be eighteen or older to sign up, and please be aware that you might be a mistress. Make sure to check their availability date, they could be on a business trip for all you know (how else would they help pay for your tuition?) !? Happy chatting!

Who knows—you might meet the man of your dreams here !!

# 01 FOCUS

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jaehyun┆Mr. Jung is your resident best friend's dad. Watch as Mr. Jung Jaehyun himself looses his composure at the sight of a girl half his age.

# 02 YOU RiGHT

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Johnny┆Mr. Seo can't stop and look the other way, because he knows what could be between the both of you. Anyone who had eyes could notice—especially his wife.

# 03 FAVORiTE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Mark┆Believe him when he says he's been with a few girls, but make sure to believe him when he tells you you're his favourite.

# 04 SOMETHiNG ABOUT YOU

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Sicheng┆To the oh-so seemingly hot tempered, almost aloof Mr. Dong Sicheng, you looked like you came straight off the cover of a magazine.

# 05 CRY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jeno┆So basically—Jeno can't stand living like this.

# 06 ROCK UR BODY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Yuta┆Mr. Nakamoto Yuta has placed his infatuation on you. Only, he finds out just a tad too late that it's not an infatuation.

# 07 GiMME MORE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Haechan┆You just simply wanted more.

# 08 PERFECT MAN

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Doyoung┆Oh look at him, he's the perfect man!

# 09 DEATH OF A BACHELOR

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Husband Jaemin┆Throughout his life, Jaemin often questioned if he had commitment issues. Long story short, no he didn't—he just hadn't met you yet.

# 10 KiTTY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Husband Jeno┆So what's it like being Lee Jeno's Kitty?

# 11 A FORMAL EXCHANGE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Sugar Daddy Kun┆Having Qian Kun as a sugar daddy might've been the best thing in the world. At this point though, you wanted—needed something other than his money.

# 12 HEAVEN KNOWS i'M MiSERABLE NOW

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jaehyun┆Jaehyun's single. Almost painfully. In an attempt to, well...not be single he dates someone only to find an interest in her daughter instead.

# 13 WHiPLASH

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Taeil┆ The friendly professor who lived down the road from you was nothing short of a nice man. Unless you count what he says in the bedroom.

# 14 COFFEE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Stepdad Johnny┆Johnny does love his coffee, he also has taken a love for you. Just maybe not his wife.

# 15 TOXiC

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jaehyun┆It's not that Mr. Jung is a bad person, it's just that maybe he's cheating on his wife and refuses to admit it to her.

# 16 iT'S MY PARTY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Haechan┆Haechan doesn't know why he has such a knack for making you cry. Every time tears fall down your pretty face he absolutely adores it.

# 17 BUNBUN

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jaemin┆Mr. Na and Mr. Lee always have so much in common. What's it like being Na Jaemin's "Bun Bun"?

# 18 DUMB DUMB

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Johnny┆If Mr. Johnny Suh could consider this a talent, he would totally be okay with it. He had such a gift for getting in your head easily.

# 19 MORNiNG SEX

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Husband Mark┆Who wouldn't want to wake up next to one of the most eligible bachelors out there? Oh yeah, how could it possibly slip your mind?—He's your husband.

# 20 HOUSE OF CARDS

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Doyoung┆Infidelity has suddenly popped up in Kim Doyoung's vocabulary. Luckily for him though, he's smart.

# 21 i'M A SLAVE 4 U

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Yuta┆For Nakamoto Yuta? You'd do anything.

# 22 FAiRY OF SHAMPOO

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Renjun┆Long story short, you're Huang Renjun's dream. Like seriously.

# 23 HENTAi

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Haechan┆Are we really just gonna ignore the porn on his phone or what? Oh wait—that's a picture of you!

# 24 BEST iNTEREST

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Stepdad Doyoung┆Mr. Kim is suddenly smitten with you, all thoughts of your mother (and his wife) have flown out the window.

# 25 TWENTY-FOUR HOURS

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Johnny┆Mr. Suh and Mr. Qian are long time business partners and friends. Secrets don't make friends, but friends do make secrets.

# 01 STARGiRL

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up ???┆Vote for who deserves New Year's head this year!

CLICK HERE 2 SEE THE BTS VERSION !!!

CLICK HERE 2 SIGN UP FOR TAGLIST !!!

CLICK HERE 2 VOTE 4 NEW YEAR'S HEAD !!!

* "Hot Dilfs in Your Area" is the second series of the year written by Earth-To-That-Asian to take on the role of Smutmas. Works will be posted from December 1st to December 25th with an additional post scheduled for January 1st, 2022. "Hot Dilfs in Your Area" includes au's varying from the signature dilf style to the daring topic of step au's and touching upon the never so romantic business field. If the warnings listed for works are not for you, do not read it. This series and all works under it remains for the mature audience. Those under the age of eighteen—do not interact with this and any other work. A BTS version of this series will be posted to @97ft—works will be the exact same story except the names will be switched out accordingly.

© earth-to-that-asian, 2021 ┆ "HOT DILFS IN YOUR AREA"

#nct smut #nct dilf #nct stepdad #jaehyun smut #johnny smut #johnny seo smut #johnny suh smut #jeno smut #jaemin smut #haechan smut #donghyuck smut #mark lee smut #taeil smut

[97ft]

Redirecting to... hotdilfsinyourarea.net/bts (18+)

(⚠︎ WARNING: dilfs, stepdads, infedelity, and age gaps)

!! WELCOME 2 HOT DILFS IN YOUR AREA !!

Why bed an inexperienced college classmate when you could bed a real man who knows how to fuck?! Sign up now to start chatting with real men who know their stuff. You must be eighteen or older to sign up, and please be aware that you might be a mistress. Make sure to check their availability date, they could be on a business trip for all you know (how else would they help pay for your tuition?) !? Happy chatting!

Who knows—you might meet the man of your dreams here !!

# 01 FOCUS

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jungkook┆Mr. Jeon is your resident best friend's dad. Watch as Mr. Jeon Jungkook himself looses his composure at the sight of a girl half his age.

# 02 YOU RiGHT

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Taehyung┆Mr. Kim can't stop and look the other way, because he knows what could be between the both of you. Anyone who had eyes could notice—especially his wife.

# 03 FAVORiTE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Hoseok┆Believe him when he says he's been with a few girls, but make sure to believe him when he tells you you're his favourite.

# 04 SOMETHiNG ABOUT YOU

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Yoongi┆To the oh-so seemingly hot tempered, almost aloof Mr. Min Yoongi, you looked like you came straight off the cover of a magazine.

# 05 CRY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Seokjin┆So basically—Seokjin can't stand living like this.

# 06 ROCK UR BODY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Namjoon┆Mr. Kim Namjoon has placed his infatuation on you. Only, he finds out just a tad too late that it's not an infatuation.

# 07 GiMME MORE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jimin┆You just simply wanted more.

# 08 PERFECT MAN

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jungkook┆Just look at him! He's the perfect!

# 09 DEATH OF A BACHELOR

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Husband Taehyung┆Throughout his life, Taehyung often questioned if he had commitment issues. Long story short, no he didn't—he just hadn't met you yet.

# 10 KiTTY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Husband Jimin┆So what's it like being Park Jimin's Kitty?

# 11 A FORMAL EXCHANGE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Sugar Daddy Yoongi┆Having Min Yoongi as a sugar daddy might've been the best thing in the world. At this point though, you wanted—needed something other than his money.

# 12 HEAVEN KNOWS i'M MiSERABLE NOW

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Seokjin┆Seokjin's single. Almost painfully. In an attempt to, well...not be single he dates someone only to find an interest in her daughter instead.

# 13 WHiPLASH

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Namjoon┆ The friendly professor who lived down the road from you was nothing short of a nice man. Unless you count what he says in the bedroom.

# 14 COFFEE

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Stepdad Seokjin┆Seokjin does love his coffee, he also has taken a love for you. Just maybe not his wife.

# 15 TOXiC

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Hoseok┆It's not that Mr. Jung is a bad person, it's just that maybe he's cheating on his wife and refuses to admit it to her.

# 16 iT'S MY PARTY

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Taehyung┆Taehyung doesn't know why he has such a knack for making you cry. Every time tears fall down your pretty face he absolutely adores it.

# 17 BUN BUN

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jungkook┆Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park always have so much in common. What's it like being Jeon Jungkook's "Bun Bun"?

# 18 DUMB DUMB

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Seokjin┆If Mr. Kim Seokjin could consider this a talent, he would totally be okay with it. He had such a gift for getting in your head easily.

# 19 MORNiNG SEX

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Husband Namjoon┆Who wouldn't want to wake up next to one of the most eligible bachelors out there? Oh yeah, how could it possibly slip your mind?—He's your husband.

# 20 HOUSE OF CARDS

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jimin┆Infidelity has suddenly popped up in Park Jimin's vocabulary. Luckily for him though, he's smart.

# 21 i'M A SLAVE 4 U

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Yoongi┆For Min Yoongi? You'd do anything.

# 22 FAiRY OF SHAMPOO

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Hoseok┆Long story short, you're Huang Hoseok dream. Like seriously.

# 23 HENTAi

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Taehyung┆Are we really just gonna ignore the porn on his phone or what? Oh wait—that's a picture of you!

# 24 BEST iNTEREST

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Stepdad Seokjin┆Mr. Kim is suddenly smitten with you, all thoughts of your mother (and his wife) have flown out the window.

# 25 TWENTY-FOUR HOURS

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up Jungkook┆Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon are long time business partners and friends. Secrets don't make friends, but friends do make secrets.

# 01 STARGiRL

⚠︎ Dilf Aged Up ???┆??? Honestly deserves the best head.

CLiCK HERE 2 SEE NCT VERSiON !!!

CLiCK HERE 2 SiGN UP FOR TAGLIST !!!

CLiCK HERE 2 VOTE FOR NEW YEAR'S HEAD !!!

* "Hot Dilfs in Your Area" is the second series of the year written by Earth-To-That-Asian, and the first written here, to take on the role of Smutmas. Works will be posted from December 1st to December 25th with an additional post scheduled for January 1st, 2022. "Hot Dilfs in Your Area" includes au's varying from the signature dilf style to the daring topic of step au's and touching upon the never so romantic business field. If the warnings listed for the works are not for you, do not read it. This series and all works under it remains for the mature audience. Those under the age of eighteen—do not interact with this and any other work. The NCT (original) version is posted to @earth-to-that-asian—works are exactly the same, except the names are switched out accordingly.

© earth-to-that-asian / 97ft, 2021 ┆ "HOT DILFS IN YOUR AREA"

#bts smut #bts dilf #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #jimin smut #jhope smut #rm smut #yoongi smut #jin smut #seokjin smut

[nanami-luvr]

𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

pairing: dilf!kita shinsuke x f!reader

warnings: age gap (20 years), dubcon (alcohol), breeding, unprotected sex, praise, fingering, orgasm denial (once)

sypnosis: after receiving help from your neighbour, you decide to drop by and give your thanks.

༄ ‧₊˚ KINKTOBER M.LIST

There was no reason for you to feel so nervous. After all, it wasn’t your first time alone with a man, and yet somehow, the man sitting in front of you managed to make you feel as if you were on the edge of your seat. He wasn’t intimidating per se, it was more of the fact that you felt awkward around a man who was almost twice your age.

“How do you like the job so far? Is everything up to your expectations?” Shinsuke’s raspy voice pulls you out of your thoughts, slightly shocking you as he suddenly breaks the silence. You take a sip from the can of beer in front of you, making up for the dry throat you had.

“It’s great! Everyone’s slightly older than I am, but I’m having a lot of fun. Thank you for introducing me to the job. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be able to pay off my school fees and monthly rent.” Shinsuke watches as you give him the brightest smile possible, though he knows that you’re feeling shy around him. He thinks you’re a horrible actor. He sees the way you fidget with the hem of your dress after each sip of beer, avoiding as much eye contact as possible.

“So, how’s college? Being young sure is nice.” You watch as he leans back into the chair, positioning himself in a more comfortable way. He’s just trying to break the ice, you reason to yourself. Taking that as a sign, you begin talking about yourself, pausing every once in a while to ask about his experiences in school.

Unbeknownst to you, Shinsuke was the top student back in high school, and yet despite that, he decided to work immediately after graduating, claiming that he was satisfied with his youth. He continued on, saying that he was a rice farmer for almost two decades before deciding to retire early to enjoy the fruits of his labour.

Maybe the alcohol was getting to you, but you could clearly see how refined his biceps were. It must have been from the countless hours of work, especially from all the lifting he had to do. The tightness of his shirt made it even more obvious, with how the shirt of his sleeve hugged his arm muscles, proving your point even more.

“Your arms are so hot,” you mumble, praying that he couldn’t hear you. You feel your head droop down slightly while your head begins throbbing. The effects of the alcohol begins kicking in as you start spewing random things, like how good Shinsuke looked in that tight shirt of his, and how hard his muscles flexed while he was helping you with your boxes months back.

“Yeah? You think my arms are nice?” It feels like a joke, but when you notice the smirk on his face, you know he’s not playing. There’s a hint of lust behind his eyes as he stares you down, wondering about the things that run through your mind. You watch as he leans back into the chair, almost like he’s inviting you to fill the empty space that’s on his lap.

The next thing you know, you’re up on your feet and strutting towards him, sitting atop his kitchen counter island in front of him. Despite your drunken state, you can’t deny the sexual tension between the two of you. You had always found him attractive even though he was 20 years older, and having him right in front of you made your attraction towards him grow even more.

“What am I going to do with you?” A chuckle slips through Shinsuke’s lips as his hands reach out to your thighs, lightly kneading them while waiting for your response. The air feels tense, but there’s a playful glint in your eyes that goads Shinsuke on even more.

“Do whatever you want to me.” You feel his lips press onto yours immediately after, and that’s when you know that he feels the exact same way you do. It’s wet and sloppy, and you can feel your arousal growing by the second. His kisses feel like they’re swallowing you whole, and each time his fingers travel higher up your skirt, you feel yourself get needier for his touch.

It’s intense. The way he holds you close to him while he kisses you makes you want more, and you can see his patience running thin by the way his lips hover your skin whenever the opportunity arises. The smell of alcohol burns your nose and your mind feels like it’s in a daze, and yet the desire of having Shinsuke buried inside you manages to keep you afloat.

“Shin… I want it. I want you so bad. Just… Please!” It’s embarrassing how easily you give in to your needs, and you can already feel your cheeks heating up over such a shameless request. Just as you turn away from him, you feel his calloused fingers grab onto your chin, tilting your face towards him.

“Such a needy girl.” He’s sincere and genuine, and the way he pecks you on the lips softly gives you all the reassurance you need. He pushes your skirt upwards, reaching towards your panties and pushing them aside. He dips a finger into your cunt, your velvety walls clenching around his finger as you grab onto his pants, trying your best to tug them down. With his free hand, Shinsuke helps you out while continuing his ministrations on your hole. Your fingers dig into his arms as you feel yourself inching closer and closer to your orgasm.

Unfortunately for you, he pulls his fingers out at the last minute, making you whine over the fact that you weren’t able to cum. Instead, he slowly pushes his cock inside you, watching you fall apart over the stretch. It’s big and thick, and you’ve never taken something this big inside you. Your eyes are glossed over from the pain, but it goes away the moment you feel him rubbing your puffy clit to distract you.

“Ssh. It’s okay baby, don’t worry. I’ve got you princess.” Your heart flutters at the phrase, your slick walls slowly loosening up from how gently he’s handling you. You bury your head into his chest as you begin to feel restless, making your legs wrap around his body to bring him closer to you.

Your whimpers of soft please, please, please! reaches Shinsuke. He begins to move slowly, ensuring not to hurt you in the process. It feels good and for the first time in your life, you know that you’re definitely not going to regret this. You tighten your legs around him, discreetly telling him that he can be as rough as he wants.

Without a hint of hesitation, his thrusts become faster and more brutal. The sound of skin on skin slaps fill the kitchen as he continues thrusting into your cunt, causing you to cry out even more over the immense pleasure you were feeling. You wrap your arms around his back, face nuzzled in his neck while his hips move at a ruthless pace.

His cock throbs inside you, signifying his near release. It feels warm and heavy, and your bodies feel sticky from all the sweat. Shinsuke grunts into your ears, muttering comforting phrases of oh, you feel so good and taking my cock so well angel.

“Gonna fill you up so good. You’re gonna take my cum like a good girl, yeah? Gonna have it leak out of you.” You’re nodding your head aggressively, giving him the permission to cum inside. You clench around him, shivers running down your spine as you feel yourself cream all over his cock.

His groans fill the room as he shoots his load inside you, slowly pulling out a few seconds later. He watches as a mixture of your cum and his drip out of your cunt, and he chuckles at the way you’re avoiding his gaze, almost like reality has finally struck you.

You remain silent as Shinsuke reaches for a towel nearby to wipe you down, your mind keeping you busy while you find ways to apologise for the sudden intrusion and the mess you made. Instead, he kisses your temple tenderly and helps you off the kitchen counter island.

“Let’s sober up and we’ll go for a date afterwards. How does that sound?” You nod meekly, trying your best to hide your eagerness.

Maybe there was no reason for you to be so nervous afterall.

reblogs and comments are appreciated!

#tw.dubcon #tw.alcohol #tw.age gap #— 💌.kinktober2021 #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu smut #hq smut #kita shinsuke smut #shinsuke kita smut #kita smut #haikyu!! #kita shinsuke

[wornoutmouse]

I know I have requests I need to do, hop-off my massive bbc.

Don’t know how the “sugar association” works so I’m winging it.

-Clueless DILF Endeavor with his chocolate sugar baby

-romantic fluff

-dribble of Dabi angst

This was never a hobby in life that Endeavor ever thought he’d partake in. In fact, a long time ago he had even ridiculed the old men that found comfort in the presence of a young woman who was only after their money. Yet here he was, 20 years later and a lot older, treating you to coffee.

Well, he had coffee, he doesn’t know what sugary abomination in donut form you were currently devouring. You sat across from him kicking your legs rapidly and taking in his house decor. As you licked your fingers you finally focus your eyes on him and they twinkle with the slightest mischief.

“I can tell this is your first time doing this.” Endeavor nodded with wide eyes looking as if he was ready to bolt at any minute. You stretch your arms above you and dust donut crust off your blouse, “Well I guess I can show you the ropes, but that’ll cost you.”

With a pained expression, Enji reached for his wallet before being cut off by a loud cackle, specifically yours. When you finished your hysterics, of course not without wiping a fake tear, you straightened up in your chair.

“You are so lucky, you got my attention, anyone else would have robbed you blind.” Endeavor raised an eyebrow disbelieving, “Isn’t taking my money the whole point of this arrangement?” Tilting your head in thought, you shrugged, “Yeah I guess you’re right.”

You cross your legs and intertwine your hands with a more serious look on your button features. “So first we must establish the rules that you have and then mine.” Endeavor nodded in understanding before gazing off in thought. Coming to a quick decision, he sits up straighter as well; tall frame towering over you even in a sitting position.

“Well number one, the cookies in the right-hand cabinets are my daughter’s, she stores them here to hid from her brother when he visits her house. So I’d greatly appreciate it if you didn’t take them.” You held your hand up for silence in fear you couldn’t contain your laughter.

“What I mean is, what are you expecting from this relationship? A friend, a caretaker, intimacy?” You stand up and walk over to Endeavors damn near cowering form. You sit down on his massive left leg and cross your legs in a relaxed manner.

Endeavor strained to not look down at your opened shirt as you crossed your tan arms under them. “I guess, I-I’m looking for a companion.” You looked up at Endeavor for a long while.

The ex-number 2 hero seemed rather stressed for someone who had not been on the battlefield. His previous 4-o’clock shadow had long since grown in as dim red that flickered in the light as if it would catch ablaze at any moment. He had deep crows feet surrounding eyes that never smiled and his previously blue eyes had naturally went gray.

“Honestly homie, you look like you need a friend.” You stand up and take your place back in your chair before pulling out another bag of diabetes. “Homie..?” “Anyways, I think I can give you just what you need.” Pulling out your phone, you hand it out to him expectantly and he takes it gingerly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From that moment on, you and Todoroki Enji had become the strangest friends the world had ever seen. Of course, half the world had seen through the bullshit and declared you nothing more than a hired escort there to make Endeavor feel less lonely after his villainous marriage came to light.

No matter how you looked at it, that fact was true, but this had been the best “job” you’ve ever had in a while. On Sundays, you met him for tea and finger sandwiches that you ate over a game of chess that Endeavor happily taught you how to do, in return for you to teach him ‘spades.’ 

Enji, being the recluse that he was his entire life, didn’t bring much to the table in regards to activities to do and at times it felt like you were getting paid to keep him alive emotionally. So with the generousness of your heart, you add some of your own favorite things to do.

Movie nights were a must and you made it a goal to introduce him to some black classics like “The Wiz.” “Good Times” and such. The look on your roommate’s face when they walked in on you in the old man in matching bunny onesies (against his will of course) digging out to the Golden Girls theme songs.

You brought him Jamaican food you made at home to try and he particularly enjoyed fufu….by itself...alone. He would also try to return the food favor by making traditional Japanese dishes….well he sure as hell tried. 

“How do you not know how to make rice, isn’t this you guys’ base dish of life?!” You grunted as you used a fork to scrape at the decommissioned rice cooker, “I followed the instructions it says 250 minutes!” Enji stood next to you like a lost child, holding a large back of rice.

You press against the bag and squint at the nutrition label. Enji wearily looked at the once edible black tar in the pot, yelling in pain as you hit him with your fork. “Negro, that is carbohydrates 250 milligrams!” You ordered take out that day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like all no-strings-attached agreements of the world, someone caught feelings. You don’t know if it was you, seeing Endeavor being defeated by the lack of affection your iguana gave him, or if it was him, watching you joking around with his daughter and son, even tossing him a bag of food when he went on a hopeless visit to see Touya in prison.

“What is this?” You slide your hands down the front of his chest to smoothen the wrinkles left. “Look, I know he hasn’t let you visit him yet, but just in case he does, I learned that healing over food never hurts.” it was equally as heartbreaking when Enji came back with dried tear tracks, stone-faced while cradling singed bread.  

“Maybe next time Enji.” You watched, lips pursed.

I didn’t know how to finish it off but i didn’t want to delete or leave it sitting there.

#endeavor fluff #blackreader #bnha x black reader #bnha fluff #endeavor x reader

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

#lbaf

[baebeyza]

Megatron’s rated by how much they seem like an old man

Youngest to oldest!

9. Beast Wars II Megastorm

Megastorm ain’t an adult, he’s a 17 year old bastard teenager who failed math class. Just really wants to put his adult older brother down, but is too stupid to function most of the time and only lives because Galvatron is too kind-hearted. Eventually grows out of his murder instinct and becomes a good younger bro, but remains idiot teenager. 

8. Beast Wars 

I dunno, he doesn’t really have the “old man” energy, he seems more like some goth in his late 20s-early 30s with some huge ego, mucho intelligence but initially lacking some experience. Just makes shit up as he goes and acts like it was all part of his plan all along. That fucking punk who always stirs chaos and who the Elders don't like and wanna put down. He got that youthful spirit ~

His Beast Machines version is just that, but I guess he had a funny crack in his ankle once and thats why he refuses to have a functional body

7. RiD01

He and Optimus were childhood friends, means they must be close in age and Optimus never seemed like an old dude here, so Megs cannot be too old either. Mid-30s at least. Also he cares about his image as if he were trying to get a role as best super-villain model, but fails. He doesnt have the spirit of the youth, he has the spirit of having joint pain and never leaving the house because of that.

6. Cyberverse

This guy should technically be old, but damn, he doesn’t actually behave like an adult! That is true for most characters in this show, but still. Idiot man in his 40s who acts like a toddler, despicable.

5. Transformers Animated

This is one old dude, but the silverfox and dilf kind of old! The one’s who aged like fine vine, getting sexier every year while still maintaining an air of youth to them. He be wearing his 50s like a 5000$ Gucci suit!

4. G1

Old fucker in his late 50s, but compared to the others still pretty youthful. The type of grandpa who said “fuck rules, I’m gonna go APESHIT!” and does that, but still needs to sit down every now and then. Will say “I still function” and get “sure gramps, whatever” as a response. His second in command swears he has Alzheimer, but his mind is still kicking and age just made him more creative

3. Prime Wars Trilogy

Older than G1, but still as strong, if not even stronger. Retired man who still got the spirit. The evil version of the mentor character, no one wants him to be the mentor, he doesn’t want to be the mentor, but he will take the role anyway. The fucking killer grandpa who deep down is actually the sweetheart grandpa, will he get the chance to fully live as one? Being the mentor figure says “no” x’D

2. Transformers Prime

Old ass shit in his late 60s, the one who has been angry all his life and now anger is all he is. Doesn’t fuck around, has no chill and just wants to kill his ex before he kicks the bucket. Will try the “moments before my death I decided to be good” trick to fool his enemies, just that he actually fucking believes it himself. He's the grandpa everyone (Soundwave mostly) prayed for and now he got too strong and won’t let himself be turned over to a retirment home. 

1. Armada

Man I watched only like 10 episodes of this show and know that this is some old ass crusty dude. Mid 70s, his driving force is spite and the desire for power, but damn, he’s surrounded by idiots who cannot shut up. He has no patience, no kindness, just wants the job to be done and go to sleep. And he hasn’t slept in 100 years. 

#transformers #transformer posting #megatron #galvatron #megastorm #g1 #beast wars #beast wars ii #beast machines #tfa #tfp #cyberverse #prime wars trilogy #armada #rid01

[midcing]

okay so i have some New Kids.... they are all trash but some of them are trying their best which should honestly count for something imho... i’ll probably bring some more muses in at some point during this week bc i legit have 25 apps in my drafts right now and i just didn’t apply for all at once bc didn’t want to overwhelm myself... honestly tho? i want all the plots.... so like... pls like this and i’ll im you or come to me throwing ideas at my face so we plot and have some connections and threads ?? love my new trash sons pls ?? thanks !

JAMES WEST looks an awful lot like CHARLIE WEBER. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re LOGICAL, they have a tendency to get pretty CONTRARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to POLARIZE by TWENTYONEPILOTS.

inspired by ;; frank delfino from htgawm, walter white from breaking bad and jaime lannister from game of thrones. 

a lawyer

has 2 daughters.

would probably start a war for both of them if they asked him to.

thinks his daughters are angels who can do no wrong. if he saw them murdering someone in front of him, he would probably come up with a reason why they were doing it and defend them which isn’t great bc they are both like wild kids who are not actual angels ( wc ?? anyone ?? i’m trash for families ngl )

sketchy morals at best? ? doesn’t think of himself as someone who would do anything wrong but if something wrong is being done for his benefit he is sure as hell not gonna stop it

got into an ivy league school because his father - criminal known for money laundering, corruption, and fraud - donated a huge sum of money to the college. will die pretending he got in on his own merit 

the older brother of my character mark west bc i love families sue me

would probably google ‘how to know if i am a dilf’

says thing like ‘lit’ and ‘on fleek’ to relate to the youth

pretends everything is fine until it blows up in his face

wants to much ! a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect wife, a perfect job ! pretty good ? nah. not good enough for james west. scratch that and start again. everything must be 10/10

wants to be everybody’s dad even tho he isn’t a great dad to his two kids

will make your life choices for you if you let him

will bail you out of jail but only if he is allowed to give you a 3 hour lecture on Responsibility 

will logic his way out of moral conundrums

the kind of person that turns a blind eye to corruption if it benefits him in some way

tries his best, which really honestly can only be said about 5% of my characters, so i would give him some credit

if you ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer he will just straight up ignore the question and change the subject 

feels guilty about the way his helps criminals and does wrong stuff for his benefit and the benefit of the people he loves but also doesn’t try to change

aesthetics — watching the sunset through the office window, loud alarms playing an hour later than it should, unrecognizable reflection in the mirror, child laughter and the heavy feeling of stress in your chest, hushed whispers of assertions amidst a crowd, old wedding rings saved away after the divorce, big houses and empty space, thousand dollar watches, the smell of jail permanently stuck to a three piece suit, painfully happy memories, ignoring the way guilt makes it hard to breath, arguing in a favor of a guilty party.

FRANK HAMILTON looks an awful lot like DAVID HARBOUR. HE is FORTY ONE and while they’re DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty UNPRINCIPLED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEDATED by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; hank from detroit become human and chief hopper from stranger things

                                                              tw: gambbling, alcoholism

a mess trying to pass for a functioning human being

he is a dirty cop that accepts bribes to let people off the hook and gets money from gangs to look the other way when he knows they will be doing something wrong somewhere bc he truly cannot bring himself to care

honestly i have no excuses for his behavior

has a huge problem with gambling. 

born in kola. lived in kola for almost 30 years. moved out after his marriage fell apart, but has recently moved back

the kind of human being who thinks blood and gasoline are sexy

the kind of person that goes All Fucking Out for things and then when things don’t turn out exactly how he expected them to he makes a fuss about it and goes like “why did i even bother?”

will call you out on your bullshit and then act like people just throw shit at other’s face like that. stare you in the eye after exposing you and ask ‘what?’

says stuff like ‘i might be a shitty person but at least i’m upfront about it’ and ‘i prefer not to get involved in people’s lives.’

there is no such thing as a acquaintances. frank either loves you with all his heart and would kill a man for you OR he hates you and the fact that you are able to talk annoys him

you’ve heard of overachivers ?? well frank  is here to present you A True Underachiever. he tries to do the bare minimum amount of work possible 

the personification of /r/notmyjob

would probably go to an underground fighting ring for fun

channels his unhappiness into unhealthy habits. drinks too much, smokes too much. doesn’t do anything to change the fact that he is unhappy

gambled his marriage away by which i mean he gambled everything owned away and kept trying to find excuses for it until she was done and left . he still loves her but he feels like shit and he doesn’t wanna drag her back into his shitty life ( wc ? pls ? )

moved away from kola when his marriage ended and went to las vegas. lived there until he got in dept there too and he couldn’t find anywhere else to play then came back to kola 

at some point was wide-eyed and hopeful and interested in helping people but slowly became unhappy with how he didn’t go anywhere, didn’t become better, greater, didn’t do more and then slowly things just went to shit

aesthetics — casual cruelty in the name of honesty, cigarette buds collecting on an old ashtray, crumbled dollar bills found between couch cushions, falling asleep at three o’clock and waking up the next day, bloody knuckles, handcuffs and police siren, the smell of alcohol in your breath at ten in the morning, unironed shirts and old cologne, knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway, ignored calls from concerned family members, remembering you have to do something just as it is too late to do it, the thrill in heartbeat when you land a punch in someone’s face, drunk steps stumbling out of the bar, begging people for one more chance.

SEBASTIAN “BASH” VANCOOP looks an awful lot like LIAM PAYNE. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they’re CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty SELFISH. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PLAY ME LIKE A VIOLIN by JEREMY.

inspired by ;; hakeem lyon from empire and aaron burr from hamilton

that one sort of famous person that is always shirtless in other famous’ people instagram stories

treats people like things he can use and drop when he gets tired of

fake af. will say he likes you and then shit talk about you behind your back

that one person that goes ‘ooooooooooh you are gonna let them talk like that about you ?? ’ when other people are fighting 

only wears prada chanel and gucci

can actually be really nice if you get to know him but how ? when there are three hundred walls up ??

thinks people are gonna take advantage of him or make fun of him so he just doesn’t trust anyone. can’t get betrayed if you never let anyone in right ??

doesn’t understand internet culture

was born in an insanely rich family. his father was a famous movie producer and his mother was a famous movie star. picture like spielberg as his dad and kate winslet as his mom 

hates when people say like ‘Oh So You Are [    ]’s son?’

the first movie he was ever in was when he was about 5

he was in a bunch of movies from ages 5 to 12 but it was never really anything big. he was just the main character’s kid or that one kid that doesn’t get much screen time in movies like goonies

he never really liked acting but what else woUld he do ?? look at his family !! look at his legacy !! [ cue ‘wait for it’ from the hamilton soundtrack playing in the background ]

when he was 20 his father produced and directed a movie in which he stared. it was like his first Real role in hollywood action blockbuster. before the movie was out there was this whole hype about him and his dad working together and wow it’ll be awesome but it pretty much bombed. picture like After Earth bomb. everyone shit talking about him and the movie and how dumb it is on youtube bomb. the movie doesn’t get money to pay for itself bomb.

despite the fact that his parents said it didn’t matter. it was just a bad movie. everyone making fun of him and people shit talking about how he didn’t have his parents’ talent got to him real bad. he stopped acting all together.

his parents keep telling him to Do Something but he just doesn’t

is living in kola bc LA is a dumb of reminder of everything he thinks he did wrong

aesthetics — the blinding lights of camera flashes, the light feeling of being drunk, loud songs blaring through club speakers, interviews stopped halfway through, rude comments and anger, crowded parties in expensive summer homes, the overwhelming feeling in your chest when someone gets too close to fast, feigned charm and stranger’s company, running out of things to say after you have known someone for a while, wasted champagne dripping off a tilted bottle and loud laughter coming from the other room, the slow but continues pain in your heart that reminds you you are disappointment.

MATTHEW “MATTEO” DECKER looks an awful lot like JON BERNTHAL. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re WILLFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty BLUNT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEVEN NATION ARMY by THE WHITE STRIPES.

inspired by ;; frank castle from daredevil, frank castle from the punshiner, frank castle from the born comics series. ( they are three different people, fight me ) seeley booth from bones in season five

                                       tw: alcoholism, ptsd, mention of army, and war

former us marine

mostly goes by decker. his family used to calls him matteo but when other people do it it’s like .. “no”

you have been heard of resting bitch face ? matteo is here to show you the resting i fucking hate you face

swears too much like Wayy too much

he can be honestly really fucking soft i’m ngl but then you gotta be that one person that breaks down walls and again ? who has the time for that ? in the twenty first century?

wants to take care of everyone but pretends he is not interested in people bc he “Knows” everyone is gonna die or leave so there is no fucking point

actually just pretends he isn’t The Absolute Softest for everyone and tries to keep them all at arm's length but then people say ‘hi’ and are nice to him and he is like ‘Fuck me now i like them’

can actually laugh and make jokes which is Impressive imo

but then goes back to being bitter and angry at life

too straight up about things : could heavenly benefit from learning how to read social cues

you have to Tell him things if you want him to understand it. you can’t go around dropping hints. he won’t get it.

drinks his coffee black and without sugar

enlisted when he was eighteen bc patriotism and american dream and red white and blue stars but then that slowly stopped being the point. then he was just doing it bc He had been doing that for years what else would he do ? and then at some point he just saw too much … and then when he was discharged he just Never came back

after he came back he couldn’t find a job and he didn’t know what else to do and he slowly started getting involved with shady stuff and now he sells drugs to pay the bills

disappointed in who he is right now. 

he is honestly Trying his very best.

aesthetics — punching a wall until your hands stings and your chest doesn’t anymore, the pleasant light feeling of holding back laughter, completed tasks and unachievable peace of mind, low chatter in dive bars in dark parts of town, questioning your belief system, roadside motels and failing neon lights, moonlight coming through the bedroom window, leaving the morning after, combat boots, loud honking cars and shaky hands, fighting the urge to shove someone away when you feel their touch against your skin, quiet places and pleasant loneliness, old dusty books and rock music, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, whiskey mixed with coffee

OCTAVIANUS BRUNO GENTILLE looks an awful lot like FRANCOIS ARNAUD. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they’re ROMANTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOMEONE NEW by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; jay gatsby from the great gatsby, romeo from romeo and juliet, tom hansen from (500) days of summer, a slam poem i saw on youtube once

                                              tw: bullying, mention of learning disabilities and stutter

romanticized every bad thing that happened in his life.

will romanticize every bad thing that ever happened in your life.

the kind of person that says “things happen for a reason…”

goes by his middle name. honestly thinks his first name is the Most Stupid Thing In The World if you call him octavianus he’ll be legit annoyed. kids used to make fun of him at school all that jazz. just call bruno

he is legit in love with italian culture and history. his father was italian and he just highkey Cannot Shut Up About It

art history professor in kola’s college

the kind of professor that just loves what he is doing… you know when the professor like kinda looks excited that he is talking or sharing knowledge or just talking about shit they truly like ? that is bruno

a nerd but pretends he isn’t

could not do a one night stand without catching feelings if his life depended on it

loves people too much too fast with all his heart

there is an argument to be made for him not actually falling in love with people and just with the idea of love that he made up in his mind but let’s get to that when we get to that

will spend the entire lesson arguing with one student about how inaction in our current political climate is just as harmful as supporting people who are doing harm when he was supposed to be talking about impressionism or something like that

thinks people have a soulmate and he is just trying to find his

100% not only Shows up to slam poetry sessions but Helps organize them

real political. the type of person that rallies when things are wrong and gets others to do it

has too many exes

posts pictures with his current girl/boyfriends on instagram and then doesn’t delete them when they break up bc ‘that’s who i was at that moment’

can recite poetry for you in italian but do not let him trick you. he’ll only be around for the honeymoon phase of the relationship then he’ll be like wow this isn’t perfect. time to end it

loves art !! all type of art !! is terrible at all of it : writing, panting, photography. but he loves it and he does it despite being bad and he tells people to do what they love !! and follow their dreams !!

his parents got a divorce when he was 7 and it was pretty bad. his dad was italian and moved back to italy shortly after. his mother was from kola and he stayed with her.

it was as if his world had fallen apart at that. bruno had never even seen his parents fight and then one day his father just moves out to Another Country he was pretty lost and confused

bruno moved back and forth between italy and the u.s. throughout most of his childhood and adolescence. never spending a lot of time in one place.

though his parents tried to remain friends after the divorce for his sake it never really worked out. his father wanted his mom back while his mother moved on and got married again.

growing up, he had a lot of trouble with accents and language. his father used to speak only italian at home. and his mother used to speak only english.

he developed a learning disability and a stutter after his parents got divorced

kids in school used to make fun of him. the way he talked and his name specially.

doesn’t stutter anymore but when he is talking about something that is hard to talk about, he talks really slowly to make sure the words come out properly

aesthetics — ukulele songs playing softly in a room with echo, piano recitals with ten people in the audience, walking around aimlessly, kissing greek statues, being happy that you are sad because it means that you are alive, cheering on others success, lacking ambition and living the present, old songs hummed in the shower, waking up early and staying in bed until 10am, cuddling under warm blankets, failing in love with a stranger, laughing loudly with new friends, white wine, beautiful paintings in an empty museum, admiring something for way too long,

ANTHONY MILLER looks an awful lot like JOSH DALLAS. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re PATIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SELF-RIGHTEOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to JACKIE AND WILSON by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; prince charming from once upon a time, ned stark from game of thrones, bob belcher from bob’s burgers

                                                                      tw: cancer

cannot talk about his feelings . cannot accept his own mistakes . cannot show weakness . at any point. no matter the subject . cannot let anyone take care of him.

Must be the best at all times for everyone and take care of everyone

self-care is a myth anthony does not believe in

works too much

he needs glasses to read stuff but he pretends he doesn’t so he does that squinting and pulling things close to his face thing. at which point you would probably ask ‘anthony if you don’t want to wear glasses wouldn’t it be easier ? to just ? wear contact lenses ?’ and yes it would it definitely would but anthony likes to make things harder for himself

slow to anger but he has that temper that you literally cannot see coming. he looks serious and stoic and then wow thunderfucking storms breaking chairs and stuff

loves beers and american football

the type of person that says this generation is lost

might smoke too much but he doesn’t talk about that

he doesn’t talk about anything actually

although i love him with all my heart. i would not rec

there is a right way to do stuff and anthony as the holder of all the knowledge and morality Must tell you about it

rarely ever smiles bUT when he does ? smiles like a prince. if we had a royal verse he’d be the king of the entire universe honestly.

he was a oldest child in a family of 7. his parents were super wealthy and he was the One favorite child who both parents used to love and cherish and cheer on.

he got his high school sweetheart pregnant. his parents didn’t want him to marry her bc she was Poor and Not up to standards but he chose love over his family and got disowned for that. hasn’t talked to his family since

his dream life was always to have the perfect picket fence house and american dream type of family. it was supposed to be him, his wife, his son and maybe some day he would have a daughter and it would Be great

he and his wife had a son and they named him hendrix bc she loved rock and jimi hendrix and he loved the name even tho he never liked rock. but honestly ? he was so weak for her he would have loved the name lkgjdflajf if she suggested it

a few months after their first son was born tho she was diagnosed with cancer and a few months later she passed away

after that he raised his son by himself. he really threw himself into it. spent most of his life focused on it and work and now his son is going to college and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the only person he ever Truly dated was his wife and then he just focused on his son and raising him so he never really allowed himself to date bc then he would have to introduce someone else to his son’s life and all that … sO anthony is usually all cool and fine and then you show romantic interest in him and there is like a visible shift ya know? like he goes from anthony to a truly profoundly awkward person trying to pretend it’s cool

aesthetics — organized work tables, color coded to-do lists, trying your very best at all times, mental exhaustion showing through physical symptoms, dad jokes and laughing by yourself, the smell of new books, comfort found in old libraries, forgetting your reading glasses at home, losing your temper and breaking something, old family photos lost somewhere in the attic, pushing someone else on a swing, sundays afternoons lost at the park, working extra hours instead of going home, cold breeze and hugging yourself to your jacket, trying to explain to someone why they are wrong when they don’t want to listen

#fckit:intro #okay i know some of those got really big but i have already played all of them somewhere else at some point so like #i had already developed them a bit