#the 11rose god complex rewrite

[smallblueandloud]

spot the difference:

He looks scared, again, and it scares Amy. He’s lost his hyperactivity - they interrupted his rhythm, and now he’s lost the ability to hide it.

vs

Well, thank ya for askin’. I used the Bittenbinder method. When I saw the perp approachin’, I chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer I carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like I had rabies. Now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm. Then I reach into his jacket pocket where I had planted a gram of coke and I went, ‘Whoa! What the fuck is this?’ And he goes, ‘That’s not mine. I never seen that before.’ I go, ‘Boo-hoo, it’s in your jacket. You’re doing two to ten and your kids are going into Social Services.’ Now he’s cryin’! 

#i'm not saving this line but i am POSITIVE that past me made the mulaney reference on purpose #i am hilarious!!! appreciate me!!! #john mulaney #kid gorgeous #street smarts #the 11rose god complex rewrite #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #so writing is going....... well #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

i think this little sequence isn’t going to make the cut, which makes me sad, because i think it’s hilarious. so:

“Awesome!” says the Doctor, clapping his hands together. “I’ll be back! No one wander off!”

“Right,” says Amy, glancing sideways at Rose.

Rose looks around. “Couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“Exactly!” says the Doctor, giving them both finger guns as he backs out the door. Then he closes it, and Amy is left alone with Rose Tyler.

“Right,” Amy repeats.

She turns to Rose.

She’s not sure what she’s expecting, really. Rose hasn’t shown anything that would make Amy think of her as the Doctor’s worst fear, and the Doctor had said that Rose wouldn’t hurt her, but with him that never means much. Rose could be a blood-sucking alien from the planet Xerox and the Doctor could’ve meant that he has complete confidence in Amy’s ability to spot that and defeat her. Somehow.

Amy looks her over, nervously. She certainly doesn’t look like a blood-sucking Xeroxian. Then again, she’s always been terrible at identifying printers by their manufacturers.

“So,” she says, trying and failing to sound casual. “Any ideas?”

#sb and l is writing #sb and l rambles #that makes for another 1k today! #i'm on a ROLL folks #.....although i'm stopping just before the absolute hardest part #so like #it's gonna be tough tomorrow night #ah well! that's a problem for future me! #i'm having fun filling in amy's inner narration lol #the 11rose god complex rewrite #amy pond #eleven x rose #btw 11 is SUCH A NERD #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

actual tumblr post coming tomorrow (i think i've figured out how to save the formatting!!) but for now...

enjoy!

#sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #IT'S FINALLY POSTED #feel free to reblog this #i'm just gonna be putting up a prettier post with the right tags and all tomorrow #the whole thing WILL be on tumblr if it kills me

[smallblueandloud]

quick non-hypothetical question: if i were to, say, post a certain 11rose fic this weekend (this is not a drill, i’m planning on posting it on saturday afternoon), would y’all want:

a full version up on tumblr with a link to ao3?

just a link to ao3? or,

the first 500 words and then a link to ao3?

#sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #formatting on tumblr is a nightmare #and also this fic is 9k #but if y'all wanted it here i could definitely do that #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

this little factoid probably isn’t going to make it into the final draft, but expectations shape the rooms in the hotel. (to a certain extent - you can’t change what’s in it. it’s more subconscious than that. but like, you expect the weeping angels to be super aggressive, so they are. etc.)

the rose that’s in the doctor’s room is very much the rose we see in journey’s end. she’s wearing leather, tough, and totally self-sufficient. amy notes several times how military she looks.

now, remember, this rose is shaped by the doctor’s expectations. the last time he saw her was in journey’s end, so of course the rose in his room is going to be his most recent impressions of her.

this can mean one of two things: the doctor was so struck by rose’s military-ness in journey’s end that that’s how he remembers her now, OR part of his fear is her becoming a soldier and it being his fault.

i’m not sure which one is more painful. or which one i’m going to mention in the fic. but this hit me and i’m emotional now.

#sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #eleven x rose #rose tyler (defender of earth) #i gave myself feelings so now y'all get them too #this is helping me figure stuff out too #this one's gonna be emotion packed like the 13&martha one #but it's harder for me to get a handle on the emotions so it's taking me longer #i think it'll be worth the wait though! #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

oh yeah, amy definitely has a crush on rose in this fic. i know that because i’m the author and i say so.

#the 11rose god complex rewrite #we're at 5.3k folks! #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #amy pond #amy x rose #doctor who #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

i’m listening to various doctor who soundtracks and suddenly having really, really strong emotions

murray gold is a genius, i think.

#LISTENING TO THE DOCTOR'S THEME AND CRYING #i'm suddenly and completely BACK to doctor who #good gracious this show is so dumb and yet. so good. so quality. so emotional. #in a way that no other show is #music #doctor who #sb and l watches dw #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #NOTE TO SELF: listen to dw music to get in the mood for writing dw fic #(OBVIOUSLY! you'd think!!!) #the 11rose god complex rewrite #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

i wrote 1k (plus eight words!) of the god complex rewrite today, so y’all get an excerpt, guest starring my favorite trope, outsider pov:

“What kind of alien is she? What does she do? Is she going to sprout a plunger and start saying Exterminate? How many people has she killed?”

The Doctor turns to stare at her, looking bemused. “Pond, what are you talking about?”

Her apparent obliviousness seems to have snapped him out of it, and for that, at least, she’s grateful.

“She’s your worst fear for a reason, right? I mean, I would’ve guessed the Daleks, or maybe my daughter - your goddaughter - getting into the stash of booze. What kind of monster is worse?”

The Doctor barks out a short burst of laughter. “Amy,” he says, fondly, and then starts laughing again, so hard that the force of it bends him over.

(they’re standing and staring at rose - amy, obviously, has no clue who she is lol)

#doctor who #eleven x rose #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #i have a tentative plan for this fic inspired by how happy i am with the 13 & martha fic #i'm gonna write the first draft and just... let it be as terrible as it wants to be #without worrying too much about my uncontrollable pace or ooc-ness or whatever #and then i'm gonna do what i did with the other fic and rewrite it in an entirely separate doc #which ALWAYS increases quality #for some reason #oh and! sidenote! the doctor and river are (obviously) not together in this story! #he's her crazy uncle and that's that! #she doesn't even show up i just feel like i should make this clear lol #anyways i'm gonna sleep now #i'm still fighting off that cold and all #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

i genuinely thought this story was gonna be in the 4-5k range.

however, it’s already at 4.5k. a scene that was 1.4k in the first draft is 2k in the second. i still have to rewrite 2.8k from the first draft, which means i’m looking at 4k more in the second. now, since the emotions are what are getting beefed up the most, and literally ALL of what i’m missing is emotions, that 4k is probably an underestimation. basically:

the not-yet-edited draft of this thing is gonna be 8.5k by CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATES.

editing just adds MORE WORDS, jsyk.

sorry, y’all. i thought i was actually gonna write a dw fic of a manageable length, but alas, i am a word gremlin and y’all are getting a WHOLE LOT of emotions.

#sb and l is writing #sb and l rambles #the 11rose god complex rewrite #with a side of essbie does some ratios! #very very simple ones but still #i wrote 1k today! i've been writing 1k a day every time i sit down to rewrite #that means i have about four more days' worth to finish #that's..... manageable #i guess #let's see i'm gonna be able to write on thursday and saturday nights #then i'll have to squeeze in 2k more before christmas day to finish this fic before the end of the year #i can do it! #.......i think #then of course i'm gonna have to let it sit for a few weeks and THEN editing begins #ughhhhhh #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

so, i’m 3.5k into the second draft of this story, and if someone would draw this image for me i would be forever in their debt

As Rose straightens her jacket, Amy tries to get the Doctor’s attention without it being too obvious, but he’s too caught up in staring to notice anything she tries. She abandons her frantic hand waving and considers.

amy doesn’t know who rose is and thought she was a dalek or something for lik a hot second. i don’t know, the image of amy as a muppet doing the Kermit Wave (see figure a) is hilarious to me.

(figure a:

very relevant and intellectual information. i am Un Artist.)

#sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #crack #amy pond #LOOK I THINK I AM HILARIOUS AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

fics i intend to finish before the end of this year / have finished but haven’t edited yet:

the joshdonna gaza fic

the series of fsk domestic scenes, including but not limited to:

fitzdaisy is married and having the time of their lives

going to sleep after a long day

the baby naming that florchis prompted like years ago and that’s floating around on my blog somewhere

the ‘don’t go breaking my heart’ thingy that was ages ago

post s6 skimmons crying, in the style of my post s5 skimmons crying

the the west wing sense8 au. the fics that i can conceivably finish are:

toby’s cluster reacts to the treason

josh and donna are in love

the 11rose god complex rewrite

a daemon au of miraculous ladybug for a friend's birthday becuase i don't have enough to write these days (featuring poly marinette)

(things that are crossed out only need editing)

11/24/19 EDIT: finished the skimmons crying and the josh/donna sense8 au fic, meaning that i’ve only got one fic left to finish before the end of the year!

12/23/19 EDIT: finished the 11rose god complex rewrite!!!!!!!! editing that baby’s gonna be a VENTURE

#sb and l is writing #sb and l rambles #I LOVE MAKING LISTS OKAY #this seems... concievable #the joshdonna thing is only missing one scene or two #the skimmons crying is like halfway done i just need a few hours to sit down and finish it #and the god complex rewrite is... outlined #i just have to.... sigh. actually write it. #that one's giving me trouble but i think i can get it done #i am so unbelievably stressed this week y'all don't understand #ml daemon au #tww sense8 au #the 11rose god complex rewrite #fic: in blackwater woods #verse: and it's golden

[smallblueandloud]

FIRST DRAFT COMPLETED!!! i might actually? finish the fic before 2020?

several comments:

out of the six doctor who fics i’ve published, two of them feature my feelings about the year that never was. that fraction is going to get higher.

gratuitous 50th anniversary references for the win!

random bad wolf bay reference because i CAN

i’ve written clara, amy, rory, martha, mickey, yaz, ryan, graham, and rose. i think literally the only ones i’m missing are my favorites, jack and donna?

i think my next doctor who fic (once i finish this one) is gonna have to be about donna

again, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M STILL HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT THE YEAR THAT NEVER WAS

murray gold is, as previously established, a GENIUS

#sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #dw ideas #eleven x rose #doctor who #the year that never was #why?? am i so emotional?? #why do i feel the need to mention rose helping martha out SO FREQUENTLY?? #also i think i'm building my own continuity here lol. rose is a p&p stan confirmed #yeah so!! i'm so psyched!! #my back is also KILLING me so i am going to bed #maybe tomorrow night i'll post some excerpts? #don't get excited about a fic publishing anytime soon tho #i still have to completely rewrite the story from the first draft i HAVE #hopefully it should be easier but like... still #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

Are you posting the 11rose god complex fic anywhere? If so, where can I find it?

hey, anon! when i finish the fic (probably in a month or two - we're not out of the woods yet, lol), it'll be posted on my ao3 and possibly tumblr. (that second one depends on if anyone actually wants me to, because formatting is always such a hassle. otherwise i'd just post a link.) i can't wait to share it with y'all!

#sb and l answers #anonymous #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #the 11rose god complex rewrite #thank you for asking! #i'll be posting/reblogging the ao3 link regardless so if you follow me you shouldn't miss it! #editing's still gonna take some time tho #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

sure enough, second draft/first serious draft clocks in at 8.8k.

i’m gonna cry. i made myself too emotional for this. y’all are gonna be in PAIN once i finish editing.

#now i need to let it sit for a few weeks #so no more updates for a while #i'm going to. i'm going to cry. #it's named after a mary oliver poem instead of a song and her writing reaches into me and pulls _me_ out #i can't handle this #the 11rose god complex rewrite #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #doctor who #eleven x rose #seriously it's just. oh. #this is i'm sure the best fic i've ever written. hands down. no question. #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

i went from 4.5k of the second draft to 6.5k today. turns out when you get in the right mood, writing actually happens? go figure.

in other news, I AM 800 WORDS AWAY FROM MY YEARLY GOAL OF 100K. AND I HAVE ALL OF TOMORROW TO WRITE. I’M GONNA MAKE IT, FOLKS!

#just so y'all are aware: the media that got me in the right mood was #the muppets christmas carol #no i am NOT sorry lol #this fic is turning out to be a lot more reasoning than i thought and it's really cool to see #never thought i would write anything detective related yet here we are lol #'amy figures out the mystery of the hotel with a side of 11rose angst': the fic #the 11rose god complex rewrite #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #sb and l watches movies #REMIND ME TO WRITE FLUFF AFTER I FINISH THIS FIC PLEASE #fic: in blackwater woods

[smallblueandloud]

👀

“Rita, how long did Joe have before he started being all-” He hesitates. “Joe-like?”

“A few hours, at least,” says Rita. She seems to have calmed down a bit. Amy admires her for that, and wishes she could have some of that serenity for herself. “We have a few hours before we go crazy. What do you need us to do?”

“Right,” says the Doctor, pointing at her. “Excellent. Good thinking. Except I don’t need you, Rita, for this part. I don’t need any of you, except-”

He hesitates, turning slightly towards Amy before aborting the movement.

He’s her best friend. 

She takes pity on him, or maybe she decides to make his life harder. She meets Rory’s eye, and he nods at her. Go.

“You’re not going alone,” she says. “I’m going with you.”

The Doctor stares at her.

“You don’t even know what my plan is,” he says.

She stares at him. Don’t make me say it, she thinks.

“You said it yourself,” says Rory, helping him save face. “Make sure someone else can see you at all times. Amy should go with you.”

Amy closes her eyes, briefly, and thanks whoever’s in charge of Earth that Rory exists. Then she reopens her eyes and levels a look at the Doctor.

Time stretches out between them as she cows her favorite alien into submission.

Finally, he looks away, clapping his hands. “Fine.”

#here! take some amy&the doctor because i love them a lot! #it's such an underrated friendship #thanks for sending this <3 #sorry it's so long #a s u n flower #the 11rose god complex rewrite #sb and l is writing #doctor who #amy pond #eleventh doctor #amy x rory #(one day i WILL write that fic about rory/amy and then it will be OVER for y'all) #a-s-u-n-flower #sb and l answers #fic: in blackwater woods #sb and l rambles