#thats yours for putting concepts in the story and projecting ideas onto it that it does not hint at nor care to explore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

communist-cat-girl · 1 year

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i wrote way too much shit so ima paraphrase what made me block someone a minute ago

if someone rewrites a story and makes the characters gay, thats fine if you think doin that shows that you have “gay blinders”, just block me

if youre mad about that, keep readin. if you dont wanna read, block me. its a bad faith take thats on par with “representation is pointless” and “i wish modern media would stop shovin gays down my throat” type 4chan shit

if you dont know what i mean, be thankful! its a pointless bit of discourse that doesnt matter to any real world person except queers online who want to gatekeep every aspect of bein a queer. be gay and free, fuck these hos

“just because its gay doesnt mean its better!” feels a little bad faith? like ya, its obviously not necessarily better, but the thing is ... im gay ... so i have a vested interest in if whether or not they get together; not to mention it recontextualizes stories as one’s of aggression against oppression (if they werent already) that makes me doubly interested as an anarchist.

if we look at, say, Alice Isnt Dead we can see this in full swing both ways. not only is the core audience and creative team behind Welcome to Nightvale openly supportive or queer themselves, so too are those who’ve worked on Alice Isnt Dead. Not only does this mean that the queer audience will feel catered too but the queer staff will be more likely to *want* to work on this, to put their whole ass into this project and make it better than if they were just paid to make some mlw piece of media.

and would the mlw idea rly work when the end of part 1 and all of part 2, spoilers by the way, of alice isnt dead are about the gov’t doin absolutely everythin it can to keep them apart and how *keepin them apart, even as alice is part of this shadowy institution, didnt make them happy and didnt solve the wider problems of the world anyways*

im sorry, but if that story wasnt gay, if its gayness didnt put into focus the issues real gay people face, then that story is ostensibly weaker, its prose less profound, its themes less touchin

now, to talk about the post that made me want to write this ...

im not gonna link it or even directly phrase it, i dont want anyone comin onto me or comin onto anyone else over this (not like my small follower count would)

the tldr is that, the hades and persephone myth is ... well, its kinda shit. its a kidnappin, its a possibly a sexual assault, its a woman forced into a bad circumstance; and so if you made this myth wlw and say its better you “have blinders because its gay” or somethin; which ive never heard anyone suggest EVER but sure, whatever

disclaimer, i am a hellenic pagan, more specifically of roman traditions, so my opinion on the *story itself* is complicated. so im not gonna be sayin much about that.

what i really care about is how somone brings of the Hades Game and i *think* lore olympus retellin where persephone is kidnapped, lowkey on purpose possibly, and eats of the pomegranate to like ... get at her naggin mom, or w/ever. thats not actually the story of the Hades Game nor of the more popular modern helpol retellin but its close enough.

the person who relays this paraphrased story says that if its wlw its better than it would be if it was mlw (and, in gnrl, this retellin is far more palatable to a modern audience; which isnt even rly debateable) and the person complainin say somethin about “gay blinders” says “no it wouldnt be” and a cry emoji.

now, ignorin how ... perhaps accidentally homophobic that comes off as ... like ... it would. mlw forbidden love doesnt really strike the same chord like it used to. in a time of arranged marriage and loveless lives, this concept was REALLY important and was the framein of most myths about a couple in the Mediterranean durin antiquity. problem is, these days, while expectations are hard even for mlw couples, youre still largely goin to get reluctant parents go “*sigh* fine, you may”

and unless youre under a rock you may have forgotten that us fags have a habit of gettin shot for lovin who we love

so ya, the story of forbidden love between a fem hades and a sapphic persephone bein a story of gay love in which they fight against all odds and become happy with each other is substantially more *touchin* (and thus “better” in the common parlance) than the same milk toast mlw forbidden love thats been shoved down queer people’s throats since day one of our birth.

whats rly annoyin is that op doesnt explain WHY “gay blinders” are such a bad thing anyway? is it genuinely so bad to enjoy gay stories more? to see yourself represented in a piece of media, esp one that you already connect so strongly too?

the worst outcome is “because its gay people think the story is good” but ... i dont think anyone is confused about the story of hades and persephone anyways? like, the ancients werent fuckin morons. zeus was a tyrant king and a story of how despots, even one’s who gain it thru noble means, will inevitably abuse their power. athena was dedicated to protectin women but when a woman needed her most she turned her into a fuckin monster. hera, in her hetero jealousy, harms WOMEN more than men when it comes to vengeance because she believes *the harmful actions of men against women are the fault of women.* and WHO suggests that the ancients thought otherwise?

do you think they would be allowed to spread such horrific and grotesque tales without approval from religious or political authorities if this was not an intentional and integral aspect of their faith? is it not curious that most ancient writers dont rly talk about these tales but only speak of the gods in a Vague sense? is it not curious that the details are obfuscated? ignored? its because while the gods love us and care for us they are also fickle and jealous and violent and they must be, in the ancient view, respected OUT OF FEAR

they clearly understood that these were representations of natural causes (a commonly held belief by ancient philosophers) and so their stories show that the natural outcome of things like LIGHTNING STORMS or EARTHQUAKES happen to everyone because the world is just Like That Sometimes; givin names to these causes just makes it easier to explain them. it helps them figure out the Shape of their trauma, far easier than the existential horror that we experience in our hyper objective world of today

so no, i dont think your modern liberal minded fag is gonna go “oh hades and persephone is so romantic” and even helpols on this site pretty famously go for the stories that resonate more with them on a personal level than the ancient stories men told other men to make them feel good about bein men

yes, even if the story is about two gays

if you think a story is bad on a personal level and think gayness wouldnt solve it ... Okay. thats subjective, movin on.

if you think its bad because makin it gay is a superficial bit of representation, im sorry you live a borin life? all representation is superficial then, if you wanted to be that kindve a jerk about it.

if you think makin it gay harms the original script, im sorry to tell you that oral history has changed most scripts so beyond their original form that we will NEVER be able to know that that original story was (and very likely, from an anthropological point of view, the origin of these stories could be as old as 5 to 10 thousand years ago told in different times with different gods and different circumstnaces; we will NEVER know the original story)

changin the story to fit your modern sensibilities and makin it gay is not bad, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. it even might make the story infinitely better! who knows, who cares! write what makes you happy, fuck these hos

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ark-cade · 1 year

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Evaluation

Media and techniques

Evaluative section on the media and techniques that were used and explored in your project. What did you learn? How did you use these techniques in your game?

I learnt quite a bit during this project. I created a point system, created a simple countdown, and once it reaches 0, you will lose the game. I’ve also learnt what a game instance is, which is basically a blueprint that can save the players data and can be stored across different levels. I also messed around with metahumans, and managed to use one as my player in my project. And also learning about attract modes.

Purpose / theme / concept

Evaluative section: the thought processes and the way you solved problems. The creative journey and the decisions you made to meet the context and theme of your project. What did you need to change or explore to make sure you hit the themes of The ARK? Did you need to alter your idea or direction / outcome? What techniques make your game work(Maya / Voxel / Unreal)?

My original idea was to create a game where you have to collect all of the animals and put them onto the ark for Noah before the time runs out, which is pretty much what I’ve stuck with. It does match with the theme of ARK, because obviously you have animals and the ark and it's all related to the story. My game is entirely made in Unreal Engine, with some of the tree and material packs from the Epic store. The grass, coins, and the blocks have been made with Photoshop. I did use one model from Sketchfab which was the actual ark itself.

Outcome

Evaluative section on the final product. Did you meet your expectations? Does your outcome fulfil the project that you set and meet your project proposal? How did the limited controls affect your game design?

I did meet my expectations. I have a finished game which is playable, has a win and lose state. The limited controls don’t really affect my game too much or at all, as I only have one button thats used and thats the jump button, and the joystick for the left and right movement, and as the game is a platformer, there was no use for up and down movement anyway so it’s fine.

Conclusion

Evaluative section on the processes of evaluation, feedback and peer assessment. On reflection how you could have improved your project and what could you have done to support the improvements needed. What have you learnt and what do you need to make sure you do next time to improve your project?

There are some ways I could have improved my project. For one, making my own character to play as, also the animals I wish I created myself too, so the game feels more authentic instead of just using free models. I have learnt about attract modes and how they are used and the different kinds of modes. New blueprints in Unreal, and brushed up on some Photoshop.

This is the final evaluation for my project.

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cursehole · 2 years

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hi hi just found your art like 5min ago and just wanna say I love your style!!! Especially those uncanny smiles ahahah they give me shivers very cool— but mainly was wondering if I could possibly ask for an explanation of the st Anthony comic? Totally fine if not,, afaik a pet rabbit has been resurrected but was it killed? Tortured? Did the owner ask for its return, or did it do so itself to seek revenge? Anyway it’s a fantastically attention grabbing comic and I am just too curious :”)) hope you have a good one ay !

Edit: Added a better explanation to the stuffed animal panel bc what I wrote originally was so lazily worded it sorta lost its meaning lol

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. I will put a short explanation of the concept under the cut

AS a small background on the name, Saint Anthony is a catholic saint that many pray to to find things. It's said that Saint Anthony lost a very important and religious book of his and thought it may have even been stolen. He prayed to God that whoever stole the book would bring it back to him, knowing he could never replace it. The man who took the book came back to him almost immediately and returned it. The book is apparently kept somewhere, but I forget where tbh. Anyway, Saint Anthony became the patron saint of finding things bc of this story. There are lots of prayers and mantras to the saint to ask him to find stuff, including the little snippet included in the post. In the comic, the rabbit talks to a child on the farm where it lives and tells her the location of a dead body, partially buried, wrapped in a garbage bag in the woods; but obviously the girl is disturbed by the information and upset that an adult isnt taking her seriously and decides not to share what the rabbit said. So that's why I nicknamed the rabbit Saint Anthony, however thats not really its name or anything. The rabbit doesn’t have any official name it would call itself by. *Also, the little lost rabbit stuffed animal under the furniture is a nod to ‘Saint Anthony‘s’ name origin + is meant to hint that the person who spoke to ‘Saint Anthony’ is a child.* On the topic of why or how the rabbit knows, thats something I like to keep open ended. I like telling short, vague stories often with loose ends so the viewer can fill in the blanks with their imagination. Viewers always project what is most interesting/creepiest onto things, and I like that when I watch movies or read books etc so I try to do that in my art and comics. So, how the rabbit knows, if it can really talk or the child just imagined it, if it has more information etc is subject to your imagination :-) I have my own ideas on it but I think its more fun if I dont share the ultra specifics.

#saint anthony #ask

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demenior · 3 years

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Dem’s Big Post About The Spn Fics Part 1/2

aka The Wrap Up to celebrate To Exist Again and To Become a Man now being finished!

(This will be a long post. This is your only warning.)

Admittedly this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing, but I wanted to try it out for 3 reasons:

I love talking about my own work and

It functions really well as a self-reflective tool for me to improve on, and

I can answer some big questions people might have because there was a LOT of worldbuilding in these stories.

We’ll start off with reflective stuff, and move into the juicier world-building focused stuff later into the post. There will be major spoilers for both fics to come!

To begin with a funny anecdote, Why Did I Write These Stories?

I was beginning to write and work out the story that I wanted to write for Spn (what will now be To Destroy a Man. As I was writing the scene, I realized I had a LOT of ideas and while I was trying to avoid as much exposition as I could, it became quickly apparent that I was needing to create my own au (this scene eventually became chapter 34 of To Become a Man). A short prequel seemed like a good idea, to quickly hash out the ‘prior’ events that I needed to go through so all the readers could be on the same page. While plotting out prequel points, I realized Sam and Dean were going to have drastically different experiences during the same time period, and I was trying to figure out who’s pov would be better for which scenes, and how to keep momentum when they’re going through such radically different types of changes. Ultimately I decided to split their povs, which I also thought would be a fun project! And I naively assumed each pov would take about 2 chapters each, rounding out to maybe 15k total.

I had my ending points: Dean n Cas soul-merged and (basically) married, Cas on the lam from heaven and a complete anomaly, and Sam juiced up full of powers and a weird mix of archangel and antichrist but still 100% human and ready to fight God.

Now I needed to add weight to these changes, so I wrote 200k of build-up.

Am I proud of these fics?

OF COURSE I AM!!! These are the longest fics I’ve ever written AND finished AND in the fastest freakin turnaround ever (both were finished writing, barring edits, in like 6 months holy shit)

I didn’t write a single scene that I “didn’t” want to write. If I had trouble writing it, as in it was fighting me, I scrapped it. Most obviously was the scene in Dean’s pov where he and Sam were intended to meet some other hunters and Dean declines working with them because he’s nervous about being outed as queer. It was meant to be a good scene! I wanted to introduce some new characters! But it just wasn’t working so I said ‘thank you, next!’.

But it means this story was an absolute joy to write. Because for a while all I was doing was ‘if I wanted to write one scene into supernatural, what would I write?’ and then just DID that!! It’s why there’s a lot of ‘Salmondean do dumb shit or have really dumb heartfelt conversations’ scenes.

Would I change anything?

If I’d been less eager to start sharing, I might have planned out the story beats a little tighter so there were less ‘soft’ chapters and a draw/pull for people to come back and keep reading. I felt Dean’s story specifically lagged at points and could have used some tighter editing (there was a noticeable lull in directed movement between Dean n Cas getting together, until Sam corrupts Amy).

I also probably would have held Sam’s story until I’d finished Dean’s so I could make the two line up better! Probably could have inserted more scenes into Sam’s fic that way, and made sure things were a little more consistent. In an ideal world one concept I had was to release 1 chapter from each pov every week that would correspond to the same time frame so we’d be getting real-time SalmonDean pov narrative. Unfortunately that didn’t work!

The biggest takeaway overall is for me to focus more on what moves the plot, and to make my scenes do more than 1 thing so I can cut down on wordcount and increase my efficiency.

Of course every writer will find things they want to fix in anything they’ve ever written, so these are minor “mistakes” at best. I’m so dang proud of these fics.

Onto more interesting things!

How Did I Put These Fics Together (because it’s different than anything I’ve ever done before)

Normally when I write a story, I plan out the beats I need to hit, see where I need to insert any kind of foreshadowing/buildup, and then write from A to B to C and so on and so forth. Hence, this is why I can normally post things as I complete chapters, because it’s all a linear progression.

For these two stories, rather than linear plot/a normal story structure, I just sat and free-wrote any and every scene that came to mind and then pieced them into a kinda-linear form like putting a quilt together. You’ll note that this is why there’s not a lot of internal callback or a feeling of sense of time flowing within the fic (save for points where I went back and specifically edited it in). How long does the story take place over? Hard to say! Your author has the barest grasp on linear time even on a good day (how many times did I say ‘see you on [wrong day]’ at the end of chapters lmaaoooo)

This also meant EXTENSIVE editing on the back end once I decided in what order I wanted my ‘quilt pieces’ to be. Hard to say if this is a bonus or a negative!

But I did want to try and capture the vibe of the lives they lead, as a bit of a ‘slice of life’-style story, when the slice of life is the profound weirdness of the Winchester roaming life, and how things are status quo- until everyone almost dies oh shit!! And then they have to keep living because no therapy we die/undie like Winchesters. Do I think I captured this effectively? Hmm. Good question.

Dem where the FUCK did the inspiration for a lot of the magic and creature weirdness even come from?

Honestly? Music, primarily. And completely mishearing lyrics!

Nightwish ‘Ever Dream’: the line is ‘my song can but borrow you grace’ and because my brain is scrambled eggs on a good day, I heard ‘grace’ ‘song’ and ‘borrow’ in that order and have had, for YEARS, the mental image of Cas borrowing Dean’s soul to power himself up for battle.

From there I’ve always been enamored with the ‘wavelength of celestial intent’ descriptor that Cas drops in s6 for “what he is”.

I also really like ocean metaphors mostly because I’ve been obsessed with the ocean and things in it since I was like… 5??? So really this was me just rolling with what I know lmao. I love using (somewhat) accurate scientific metaphors for very intangible things!

I was also finishing my degree in biology/ecology while writing these fics and I think it shows

Stars ‘The Night Starts Here’ gives us the series title and the fic titles. Except for ‘To Exist Again’. TEA was almost titled ‘The Upwards Fall’ because I wanted all 3 of the Main Stories to have titles from this song, but I couldn’t make anything else work in tandem with the series name ‘The Love It Takes’ while also working for Sam’s personal story. So Sam, as always, is the rebel <3

Stars ‘Up In Our Bedroom, After The War’ is basically the vibes of the whole story. TFW has been, literally, to hell and back!!! There’s a bit of melancholy and sadness, a lingering dark, but the chance of a bright new tomorrow and a soft start.

Let’s Talk About Themes in The Story! What were you looking to accomplish?

My earliest notes for TFW are, as follows:

Dean’s journey of self-discovery (who am I when I’m not trying to be Dad?)

Dean wants to settle down! He wants a big family! He wants to be domestic!

Basically: Dean doesn’t want to have a short life of hunting. He wants to live!

Dean’s journey of realizing he’s bi, and him accepting that

Dean’s relationship to Sam is both older brother/parent

And continuing Dean balancing these roles while also letting Sam be an adult

Dean’s Big Issues/Fears about never being good enough for people to want to stay with him (these are effectively highlighted in that Cas thinks he’s not useful enough to be wanted)

Sub Plot:

Castiel’s autonomy

Cas’ fall from grace, to trying to restore Heaven, to wrecking it further

He’s majorly depressed by the end of s7 (before purgatory)

Wants to stay in Purgatory but doesn’t tell Dean

Remains depressed after leaving, but resolved to keep living on because he’s clearly meant for something

After the seraphim reveal: does he have free will?! How does he grapple with this? How does he live in a way he can be proud of?

And lastly

Sam gets his powers back CAUSE THATS HOT

where tf did they go????

he got them from Lucifer?????

sleeper agent??????

Sam is The Chosen One

Accepts that he is More Than Human and to celebrate all parts of him

Lucifer and Sam friends?? Work together????

Sam needs autonomy in his choices/his life

If you compare these to the overall arc of TFW within the two stories, I think I got a lot of them! But you’ll also note a lot of these things aren’t concrete goals that are easily measurable (ex: Dean wants to learn to bake pie. In chapter 1 he starts a fire in the kitchen. By the end of the story he finally makes A Good Pie.) part of the lack of concrete milestones was why I felt it was important to tell Dean (and Cas’) story by going back to the point they meet, in s4! Dean’s gradual change towards his feelings for Cas, his relationship to Sam (heavily influenced by the s7 events of this fic) and then his own relationship with himself were such slow burns that I felt it would be a disservice to try and cram a change like that into a timeline like “1 year”.

I felt like these subtle changes and adjustments actually felt a lot truer to life-- people often change in very small, gradual ways over time, even without realizing it and often times not consistently! If only we could all gain skills like the sims, where we can easily level up and remain at that high level of performance!

So the Guy Who Ate Satan, A Celestial Nuke that Developed Sentience, and Dean walk into a bar…

Sam’s story in Spn The Show has always been a ‘chosen one’ kind of narrative. Sam is living with one foot in the realm of the monsters, and I wanted to bring that back full force! It really makes sense for him that he should only continue to grow in power, might, and magic!! As the story progresses.

Cas also got a power up! I do desperately love in the show that he was kind of a grunt/nothing angel, and so even when he defected to TFW he was a huge help for them, but in the scale of things he was an annoying fly to most other angels. It really worked for the underdog story of s4/5. In this I wanted to give him a power up, and originally it was actually going to be close contact with Sam that eventually changed Cas into something unknown (you can still see traces of this in ch34 of TBAM, where Death remarks ‘Castiel could be [Sam’s] first creation’. But for a combo of reasons: how Sam’s magic needed to have intent, the entire concept of free will and consent, and how much I wanted Dean and Cas to have their effect on each other, I decided to go with the route that Cas has actually always been something angel-adjacent rather than becoming something new. TFW/Supernatural has always been about free will and making your own story, so I amplified that with Cas.

Dean has always been A Normal Guy, which is part of the appeal of him and Sam (2 normal dudes!) taking on the Very Not Normal. As explained above, Sam’s story is ‘normal guy finds out he’s the chosen one’ and so, in a story about very large concepts and huge monsters and acts of magic, I felt it was very important to keep Dean as normal as possible. To the point it became a running gag to me, personally, in that ‘no matter what cool shit happens around him, Dean has to stay as Just A Guy’. And it’s a very humanizing role that allows the story to have the scale it does!

What were the most important themes in your story?

Sam’s Autonomy

I wasn’t even going to include the plot about Lucifer’s death in this story— that was going to come up in a later story, actually! And rather than Sam having ate Lucifer, the original idea was that they’d become a SamandLucifer entity (this harkens back to a concept I wanted to write when Swan Song first aired).

That storyline would have involved a lot of mental ‘Sam and Lucifer discuss what it means to live, which one of them is more worthy of life and if they do deserve to destroy the world for the pain they’ve been forced to go through, just to create the dichotomy of good and evil for everyone else’ discussions. There would be a lot of talk about how Sam hates and fears Lucifer for the pain Lucifer put on Sam, how Lucifer hates Sam because he and Sam are the same but Sam’s brother loves him anyways, etc.

Ultimately that was scrapped because Sam’s entire story in the show is always about how the world and everyone around him manipulates him and that he never actually gets to make choices about his own life or body that aren’t influenced or part of someone elses’ design. And that always bothered me that Sam was never allowed to be himself without having to be ashamed of it, and I wanted to make sure that Sam’s triumph of being proud of himself/proudly choosing to exist (again) was evident in his story

In the end I needed Sam to have this visceral win over his tormentor. As the story shows, in this case Lucifer was abused and put into a position where he was incapable of empathy and could only express himself in violence. Sam even understands this! But it doesn’t change the fact that Lucifer tortured Sam in unimaginable ways for thousands of years.

With that in mind I didn’t like the idea of Lucifer and Sam having “co-ownership” of their new identity, so I made the choice that Sam had to be the survivor. This tied in well with Sam’s new crusade to restore free will to the universe, because he’s breaking the narrative of his own story!

While Castiel wasn’t a pov character, his own autonomy and free will was equally as important. You’ll note that many, many paragraphs and conversations revolved around that theme and that in the end Cas followed himself (and love!) which ensured his freedom of self <3

The Brothers are WEIRD PEOPLE!!!! And Codependent to a Worrying Degree, but It’s Also How They Survive

It’s very hard to show “unusual” relationships when you’re writing from the pov of the two people who don’t think there’s anything weird about their relationship. Sure, they say ‘yeah it’s probably weird that we still share a bed’ but that’s kinda more in line with ‘I had a nightmare and I want to be close to the person who makes me feel safe’. Hashtag normalize co-sleeping when you need it!!!

From there I did try to point out how the boys have a weird perception of lifestyle in the little things they did.

From thrifting everything from clothes to appliances to books (thrifting is a valid lifestyle! It’s incredibly handy when you’re on a budget.)

To never actually having condiments or knowing how to use a dishwasher cause they’ve lived in a car, a motel room, or squatted in old houses their whole life.

I tried to have them wear each others’ clothes or casually swap things as much as possible. They live out of each others’ pockets!

Also the brothers are just weird people!! It’s hard to show from their pov, cause they don’t know how far off from normal they are, but like…

Everything about Sam and Amelia was NOT right like holy shit those two were wilding in their grief. They are very lucky things worked out for them and that they got to be hashtag Weird Girls together

Dean explicitly, in the story, gets horny after killing stuff!! Violence has done a number on his psyche and he’s gotten some wires crossed that maybe shouldn’t have been, or maybe could be worked out in a safe space but… uh… how likely do we think Dean is gonna go find a safe space to deal with any of his shit???

LOVE!!! Love is truly what this whole story is all about

If you’ve read the stories, you know how much emphasis I put on love. Love is the strongest force in the Spn Universe! It’s what averted the apocalypse and saved the world (Swan Song), it’s what created free will (Cas’ entire arc!) I love love!!!!

I went out of my way to not put any definitions on platonic love vs romantic love because I think love is love is love and how you express that is the difference. Neither is more powerful than the other because LOVE is powerful!! Sam and Cas are the most important people in Dean’s life and he loves them equally! He shows this by giving Cas kisses and stealing Sam’s socks.

It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when I have to hear explanations like ‘I love you, like a brother’ or ‘I love you, but like, as a friend because I’m a lesbian and you’re a man’ etc etc in media. If you have to continuously define how your characters love each other, then I don’t think you’re doing a good job of portraying their relationship. So you’ll see that I never put those parameters in any conversation. Dean DOES muse that he loves Cas differently than he loves Sam or Bobby, specifically because there is a romantic and sexual tone that his feelings for Cas takes, but not because he loves Cas more or less than he loves Sam or Bobby.

Which means, if you haven’t realized it yet, the Series + Fic Titles are meant to be a complete sentence because the power of love IS the thesis of this series:

The Love It Takes To Exist Again (Sam’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Become a Man (Dean’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Destroy a Man (TBA)

And now for fun stuff. Behind the scenes!!

What’s Something People Probably Don’t Know?

The demonic fungal/hydrothermal vent growth on Sam’s arm was thrown in literally as I was posting the chapter because I had just finished a 48 hour cram session of writing a report on tube worms for an ecology class (I was chanting my tube worm song as I wrote it) and it ended up being a HUGE hit with both readers and myself. But it was so last minute I had trouble fitting it in more throughout the rest of Sam’s story!

Cas’ orders? That may or may not have bound him to Dean and removed his free will? Were written into Sam’s story and I went ‘oh SHIT that’s compelling’ and then left them there as a ‘guess I’ll figure that out when I get to Dean’s story lol’

Originally Dean and Cas were supposed to get together after having their souls bonded, and have been in a UST limbo the entire time before that. Mostly because I think the entire concept of ‘we just got married of the soul I guess we should try dating?’ is very funny. CLEARLY the two of them were way more eager to fall in love than I anticipated (thank you Cas for your honesty) but you can still see shades of this original idea here and there (especially in ch35 of TBAM)

I never intended Dean and Benny to connect so well!! Benny was going to reunite with Andrea, she was going to live, and they were going to go off into the world and leave the story. And, uh, here we are. I’m still debating if I need to adjust the relationship tag or not haha. Polyamory is fun, especially when I was planning for Sam to be the polyamorous brother...

Speaking of, I can’t believe I forgot about Sam and his sexuality! If I rewrote TEA I would have had Sam contemplate more on his lack of sexual appetite due to trauma, up until he meets Benny and he gets to rediscover how he wants to be a sexual person

Many of Sam and Dean’s absolutely stupid sibling conversations were lifted near-verbatim from conversations I’ve had with my siblings

And lastly...

Dem where’s Kevin????????????? Where is our sweet baby boy????????

He’s SAFE!! He’s in the Hunter pipeline somewhere cause Sam handed him off to Bobby’s people. He and his mom are safe and at some point they probably got rib sigils like SalmonDean did against angels, but for demons. I didn’t have room in this story for him!!! But my baby boy is SAFE and I want to get him back to university because it’s WHAT HE DESERVES!!!!

To that point: god there were/are SO many characters that I just didn’t include in the story so far because I didn’t feel comfortable including them without stalling the story for them. To that point: pretty much everyone who is alive/dead in s8 is that way in this story, except Bobby who gets to live.

[Check Out Part 2 for reader questions!]

#the love it takes series #to exist again fic #to become a man fic #dem speaks

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fiovske · 4 years

Note

I wasn't intending to sound rude/antagonistic sorry if it came out that way! It was genuinely more of a comment that some people are taking that scenes words as final when we don't know Jes' feelings 100%, in the end she might not have romantic feelings for anyone, or she might have for Fjord etc and that's fine it's Lauras decision and I do very much agree w/ you on that Jester's journey is one of self-discovery, you don't have to if you don't want to but I am kind of interested in that essay

aah sorry! my bad for taking it that way, tone gets lost in translation and I get a lot of hostile asks that I don't often answer, I'm sorry I misinterpreted your tone!

and I do have Thoughts on why Jester initially had feelings for fjord in the first place hang on, if you're up for reading Too Many Words, buckle up pal:

FJ came more from the point of laura being all "I will romance my husband!!" as a bit of a running joke and thats no secret, but narratively it also plays into how jester, who lover her mother dearly and wants to find her father, in the hopes that it will make her mother happy and her too... she was raised on the stories of her father (babenon) being a sailor. she spent a majority, if not all, of her childhood inside the Lavish Chateau, with no real experience of the world or how relationships work, holding this ideal image of how romantic it must've been when mama fell in love and wanting the same type of fairytale romance for herself too. so, when she met fjord for the first time, fjord being charismatic and all that with that Texan accent and all, she started projecting onto him, she got instantly infatuated w the first sailor man she met, a sailor, like her father. a romance for her, like her mother's had been... like.. its easy transference.

jester's crush on fjord is a cases of expectations put on the other bc of the person you WANT them to be, not the person they really are. and refusing to see how they fall short of those expectations bc those aren't.. real expectations.. its transference. that's how transference works, psychoanalytically speaking. and I think jester, on some level, as she experienced th world and grew because of it, became aware of how her feelings for fjord had started to fade after she realized, "that's not at all how love works, whoa? like... in the porn books we read things are so different and in real life, LOVE is different." and she came to this conclusion that first night in xhorhas.

after she had witnessed veth's reunion with yeza. she got an example of what love is like in front of her own eyes, instead of the idealization that she had held close to her chest from the stories she heard from her mom and the romance books she read. witnessing yeza and veth's reunion helped her understand and become more self-aware of the idea of love....and turn, the crush she has on fjord and how... unfulfilling it felt, from both of their ends. I think that event had a major impact on her falling "out of love" with fjord when she realized... that she had never been in love with him at all in the first place. just the idea of him she had built and it... disappointed her on some level, I think. but also felt liberating from her side. Helped her feel more aware of the world around her and of the concept of love altogether, whatever it's form may be.

and as time went on, she also realized that the fjord she knows now is far removed from the fjord she initially met, and their relationship moved to a more genuineness from there once that mask came off (from Fjord's end as he struggled w toxic masculinity, realised the m9 truly loved him, that he was not going to be left behind when Beau went back for him to save him from The Laughing Hand... and when he undoubtedly, found acceptance in the Wildmother). I think Fjord and Jester's relationship became more genuine from there on, because he stopped trying to pretend to be someone he was not. And Jester stopped pursuing him as a romance novel hero and started to just... let their friendship happen, wherever it might take them.

that's just my take on it tbh. of course, this is all speculation frm my end bc as a creature of overthinking and over-analysing everything, I love to speculate. Once again, idk where actually they will proceed with the fjord jester dynamic. This is just my take on why Jester developed feelings for Fjord at all, and why it abated the way it did. What happens to them in the future... is up to the players as to how they choose to proceed with these characters. Personally, I love Fjord and Jester's friendship as they are. And as Jester grows and discovers more of herself, I wouldn't be surprised if Jester ends the campaign happily single, realising the hero she had been looking for in those romance novels had been herself all along. But I also wouldn't be surprised if her feelings grow and come back, now that fjord and jester know each other better... I wouldn't be surprised if in the end of the campaign, she ends up in a romance with Fjord. that's just my take on it.

#mail tag #jester lavorre #jester meta #dare i tag this:#fjorester #fjorester meta #critical role meta #this isn't ship discourse #character study more like it idk

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself. i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he? like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it. So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit. That’s yet another way to put it. Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today? cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad! Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything. --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects. That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place. The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers. This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth? or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be. :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2. So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations. Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for? Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues. And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit. Karkat’s limited lifespan. As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation. We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we? >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus. I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason. Which it won’t! Right??? >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck. I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry. God damnit. SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!! *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends. That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true. What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this? It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm. Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy? Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff. He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much. <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!! Point taken. Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome. I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up. :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice. Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat. See y’all next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Breath and Blood #Light and Void

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crafiet · 5 years

Note

1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!

BITCH UR RUDE AF

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2. Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3. Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6. Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7. Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8. Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9. Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10. Do you set yourself deadlines?nup

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12. Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13. Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14. How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15. How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19. How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23. Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24. Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25. Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26. Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27. Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28. Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29. Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask

The Dark31. Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32. Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33. Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37. First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40. Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42. How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44. How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45. How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46. Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47. Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50. [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho

#writing #cloudybookash #sorry for the long post

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archived--hell · 6 years

Note

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh, or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore!

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

#general oc tag #Anonymous

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theantisocialcritic · 4 years

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Archive Project - January 7, 2014 - Most Anticipated 2014

Onto Day 3 of the First Annual Hummy Awards! To paraphrase Moviebob, 2014 looks like it's going to be the year filmmaking forgets. 2015 is shaping up to be the biggest year in film… well maybe ever. Major Blockbuster movies like: Avengers: Age of Ultron, Star Wars: Episode VII, Man of Steel 2, Ant-Man, Jurassic World, Fantastic Four and Fast & Furious 7 will be hitting the big screens. This year is the red carpet to next year's big Blockbuster Blowout but from the looks of it, it will be a fun walk into 2015!

Here I have assembled a list of some of this years biggest movies! Lets see what 2014 has to offer!

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Upcoming Films in the Immediate Future! ————————————————————————————————————————— Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit 1/17 Hunt for Red October is one of my favorite books and movies! An awesome cold war espionage tale with a message on Soviet Communism. In the next two weeks we will be given a reboot of Red October's main character, Jack Ryan with Chris Pine dealing with his first mission. Given the circumstances of this movie I don't expect something great but i'm assuming if it is successful it will be the means of jumpstarting a franchise. Lets see where this goes…

I, Frankenstein 1/24

Justice League: War 2/4 Warner Bros Animation has been on a roll lately with it's animated movies: The Dark Knight Returns, Superman Unbound and The Flashpoint Paradox. I have a lot of confidence with them as they do the origin of the Justice League on this straight to video adaption!

The Monuments Men 2/7 Really cool concept and a lot of talent being put into this movie. Definitely worth a look!

The Lego Movie 2/7 This seems dumb, but also very awesome! CGI animation being made to look like LEGOs, from the animation team that made Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and that appears to be genuinely funny. Sign me up!

Robocop 2/12 Robocop is a classic. Rebooting it is probably a bad idea. This could go either way but i'm still excited to see this!

Son of God 2/28 The Bible really is a good source for potential storytelling for film. Unfortunately not a lot of movies about them get made. This one slipped through the cracks and it appears to be pretty interesting!

Mr. Peabody and Sherman 3/7 This movie offends my childhood on a deep personal level. I grew up watching Rock and Bullwinkle cartoons. THAT BEING SAID. It can't be worse than the Rock and Bullwinkle movie and if it's at least funny I MIGHT give it a pass.

Grand Budapest Hotel 3/7

Need for Speed 3/14 A movie adaption of a video game that isn't really story driven that looks surprisingly similar to Fast and Furious. Lets see...

Muppets Most Wanted 3/21 Your thoughts on this movie begin and end with the title...

Noah 3/28 Speaking of Bible movies.. Who's up for a little blasphemy? Russell Crowe apparently..

Captain America: Winter Soldier 4/4 YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

Heaven is for Real 4/16 Based on the, i'm assuming, successful book, this Christian film looks to be a pretty cool drama with a lot of heart!

Transcendence 4/25 Johnny Dep is in this movie and it's not Jack Sparrow. Thats about all you need to know.

Earth to Echo 4/-- We don't know much about this film yet other than the title and general release date but it sounds pretty awesome!

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Blockbuster Season 2014 ————————————————————————————————————————— Amazing Spiderman 2 5/2 I'm a vocal detractor of the first film as a movie that exists only to keep the rights to Spiderman movies from going back to Marvel and that it heavily ripped off a lot from Batman Begins and Twilight (to paraphrase Moviebob, once again..). This movie doesn't look all that great but its a Spiderman movie and i'd at least say its worth seeing once.

Godzilla 5/16 HOLY CRAP THE TRAILER IS AWESOME!!

X-Men: Days of Future Past 5/23 The X-Men movie's current mission statement is the wipe away X-Men Last Stand and X-Men Origins out of the movie's canon and it appears that this movie is one of the last steps to fulfilling the mission they set in X-Men First Class. I'm very excited for this!

A Million Ways to Die in the West 5/30 If your a fan of Family Guy and Ted than this is a movie that should interest you! Seth MacFarlane directs and stars in this comedy-western, along side Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson and Neil Patrick Harris.

Malieficent 5/30 Live action prequel into Disney's classic Sleeping Beauty? Hmm. Interesting.

Edge of Tomorrow 6/6 Tom Cruise stars in an action movie….. YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

How to Train Your Dragon 2 6/13 This is one of the coolest concepts to a sequel i've heard in a long time! The first movie is a great animated film and i'm very excited for this!

Transformers Age of Extinction 6/27 LeBuff is gone! The transformers are redesigned! The Dinobots are showing up! If we are lucky this should at least match the quality of the first Transformers movie!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes 7/11 Rise of the Planet of the Apes was a surprisingly great movie that in hindsight shouldn't have worked as well as it did. It ended up being one of the most notable Science Fiction films of this decade and a well done character drama. And now we get a direct sequel that ties that movie in with the classic Planet of the Apes movies! Thats something to get excited about!

Guardians of the Galaxy 8/1

SPACE AVENGERS! If the end credits scene in Thor: Dark World was any indication, this movie will be one of the most insane things ever put to film. Its the biggest risk Marvel has taken since The Avengers and some of the characters, despite their comic book origins, seem too weird for any film out of context: namely Vin Diesel as Groot the Tree and a Raccoon that runs around with Rocket Launchers!

TMNT 8/8 If I cared about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles i'd probably be offended by this. Whatever, this film is set to be a very notable film in any case.

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Fall 2014 ————————————————————————————————————————— Intersteller 11/7 Christopher Nolan is a great director and this film looks to be his most original film since Inception and as his first venture after the conclusion of the Dark Knight Trilogy, its definitely notable!

Big Hero 6 11/7 Disney's first take at an animated Marvel movie! In the wake of Frozen and Wreck it Ralph, I could not be more excited!!

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 11/21 I really liked Catching Fire and i'm excited to see how the series plans to start finishing it's story.

The Hobbit: There and Back Again 12/17 Finally ending 2014 with a bang is the long awaited third part to Peter Jackson's trilogy based off of The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. If you DON'T know why this is a big deal than I DEMAND you go check out the first two Hobbit movies RIGHT NOW. Watch Lord of the Rings while your at it!!

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And my personal pick for most anticipated movie of 2014 is…

of course..

Captain America: The Winter Soldier!!

Based on the famed Winter Soldier arc from the more recent Captain America Comic books, the choice of bringing the Winter Soldier into the Marvel universe brings forth a lot of interesting possibilities for upcoming stories concerning Captain America and their universe. This movie has me more excited than any other this year!

Runner-Up: Guardians of the Galaxy

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For more on upcoming movies in 2014, Check out Moviebob at the Escaptist http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/10862-Here-Comes-2014#HHbbGGGE1AQoZTP8.99

Thank you very much for reading!

Live long and prosper!

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saints-row-2 · 6 years

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people have been saying that bcs Doomsday Clock is Rorschach II and not original Rorschach that its going to be dealing with people who idolise Rorschach and see him as a hero when like fucking obviously hes a terrible person and you can kinda see that if the “Rorschach’s journal” entries are intentionally badly written poor imitations of what someone think Rorschach might say instead of the writers just not being good at writing Rorschach

and like i like that concept a lot bcs if youre going fucking shit on human decency and force out a fucking Watchmen sequel you might as well respond to one of the biggest phenomena that has come out of Watchmen fandom: people who dont fucking understand Watchmen or understand Rorschach and think hes Good Actually. but like.

we dont know anything about Rorschach II currently or who he is or why he decided to become Rorschach but the one thing they did choose to establish about him is that hes a black man. and like, this is the first fucking issue we have no possible way of knowing how this is gonna play out but like. bear with me ok. if youre going to make a character whos meant to explore the fans who idolise Rorschach it feels like... a mistake to overlook the fact that the majority of those fans are straight white men.

a note here; im also a white man i want to be yknow like.. open about that before i go on for another 5000 words about this.

like when it comes to these guys like a huge part of why they love Rorschach is because he is a violent white man who is being hunted by the law for trying to uncover the truth and take a stand against society. Rorschach himself is undeniably a misogynistic nationalist and while he never (that i can recall) references race in any capacity in the comic he is a loyal reader of the New Frontiersman, which is a conspiracy theory filled rag of a paper we are explicitly shown has a largely racist, xenophobic audience. and those are the people who, if New Frontiersman published it (which Doomsday Clock seems to be implying) would be the ones who read Rorschach’s journal, which he sent to the paper.

and like. putting Rorschach’s own politics aside, the important factor is that projection. Rorschach himself seems to not particularly care about immigration or race, at least not enough to ever think or write about either (make of that what you will), but these people who love him project their own racism onto him. the people who idolise him in real life are a reflection of the New Frontiersman fans; people who believe society is degrading and that the degradation of society is hurting white men. to them, Rorschach is the personification of their white male hero, the oppressed white man who is trying to fight for the Truth thats being hidden by the... insert whatever fucking racial or ethnic class they hate here. the comic shows this as much in the New Frontiersman story they publish about Rorschach.

the more and more i think about it the more hilarious it is how the New Frontiersman so directly fucking parodies the whole class of dipshits who idolise Rorschach.

like my point is, if youre going to do a story about someone who was wrongly inspired by a warped idea of who Rorschach is, it feels like a mistake to overlook the inherent racial element that there is, particularly in a day and age when the violence of white men is still so fucking unquestioned.

on the other hand entirely, if you ARE going to run with “people accept and love the violence of white men” then comparing and contrasting how people react to Rorschach II as a black man as opposed to Rorschach I as a white man could be very fucking poignant; will the exact same people still be willing to idolise and defend Rorschach’s actions if he isnt someone they can imagine to be their white defender? i can imagine almost fucking definitely not. because in their eyes, if hes not white, then he cant possibly be fighting for their warped vision of whats right. like theres an opportunity to make a really salient point here about the overt fucking racism of the people who idolise Rorschach and how society on a wider level is willing to support white violence.

like at this stage we’re one fucking issue into Doomsday Clock so i have no idea if theyre going to bring racial politics into the comic at all. i wouldnt be surprised if they dont i expect absolutely nothing out of this comic but like. it feels like they have an incredibly real opportunity here to talk about the excused and acceptable violence of white men who have “beliefs” and itll be disappointing if they overlook it entirely.

ok uh i dont actually know if anyone i know has even read Doomsday Clock or even remotely cares about Watchmen so i dont really know. why i made this whole fucking post but by the time i hit the 10000th word i had to just go with it. anyway i hope this post makes like. sense. if anyone can like. see the point im trying to make.

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strwbrymoonchild · 6 years

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ASCENDING WITH BRIK.LIAM

Interview by Dorian Waltower

As a visionary and soulful melody carrier of the modern R&B world, Brik.liam, the man holding the mysterious red balloon, is a fascinating spirit of many talents. Somewhere in between opening for Lalah Hathaway and splashing onto the iTunes R&B top 10, Brik finds the time to remain humble and loyal to his craft. Brik has amassed a cult following with his seductive covers from his acclaimed Vocal Disc Jockey project and silky records like #theascensionLP. There is a war on love, music, and authenticity and brik.liam continues to ascend the culture while remaining true in the ultimate battle of self exploration and fulfillment. Creativity is boundless and brik.liam is not to be placed in anyone's box. Too busy getting lost in the art, Brik.liam’s artistic journey is still being written and we are thrilled to have a chapter in it.

UC: Could you tell us the meaning and inspiration behind the moniker brik.liam?

BL: So my real name my government name is Jacoby Williams. I knew at some point in time as I was recording music and trying to take it more seriously that I wanted to take on an alter ego. People were so comfortable calling me Jacoby and my other nicknames and I didn't have a personal relationship with them so it felt awkward. I was like let me switch it up. My favorite color is red. I looked up synonyms for the color red because I didn't want the actual word red in my name. I wanted it to have meaning you know, it makes good for interviews and stories. Brik is a synonym for the color red. I made it look unique and added Liam, which comes from my last name which is Williams. So yeah brik.liam.

UC: I know you are a military brat and have lived several places. Tell us a bit about your upbringing. How has being exposed to various cities and countries shaped your artistry? How has it shaped you culturally?

BL: I was originally born in Virginia. My mom got married in ‘95 to my stepdad and we moved to Texas. In 2000, we moved to Germany where I spent 5th grade through high school. It was very different, especially at that time in my life as a pre-teen. Germany is basically where I grew up but not like people think. People ask if I can speak German but it was basically an American community inside of Germany so I was surrounded by other American kids. I didn't have long term friendships or relationships because we always moved. My mom also sheltered me. I spent a lot of time in the house, where my creativity was cultivated in my room playing video games and listening to music and experimenting. It kinda taught me about myself as an individual since I spent a lot of time alone. It also opened me up to being vulnerable to creativity..

UC: #theascensionLP debuted in the top 10 R&B charts on iTunes. Congrats on that! Do you consider charts and numbers important as an artist?

BL: Yes and no. Yes because it meant a lot that people would support me as an independent artist enough to actually chart on iTunes. But I'm also a big believer, regardless of getting a top 10, if you focus on the numbers it will mess you up. I'm also big on mental health and on social media the numbers game continue to grow and develop and change and it will really mess with your mind. If I'm so focused on a top 10 debut then what happens if the next album doesn't get top 10? Or if the people around me are hitting number 1’s and I’m not? I'm grateful when those winning opportunities do happen but I try not to put too much focus on numbers. People deter you from your journey and so many people are deserving but it’s so many politics and ways of getting things. But for sure as an indie artist it's amazing to see that I could record at a home studio, all my little weird ideas and was able to grow as an artist that people supported enough to debut in the top 10.

UC: To piggyback more on what you said as growing as an artist. I watched you perform at college talent shows to becoming brik.liam, to booking shows around the country. You are doing so many things, with a growing fan base of over 17k followers on IG plus chart topping EPs, tell us how do you measure all that growth personally as an artist?

BL: Honestly, I don't consider it enough. Although measuring growth is a way to keep you grounded and kind of a reflection of where you come from, I always knew this was something I wanted to do but I never actually thought it was possible. Somehow I pursued it without stopping. It makes you really really grateful. Thinking about where you started, I remember when I was getting booed at high school talent shows. I'm grateful for this journey and that I stuck with this. A lot of times you want to give up, so to actually see the fruit flourishing from being faithful to the craft, I’m grateful. It makes me feel like I was right in my decisions. It's really cool because I remember when my mom didn't really support my decisions because it didn't make sense to her, and there were other people who were not really understanding. In lieu of all that I still stuck with it and still believed in me and it worked out to a certain degree.

"My hope is that before I attempt to sing a perfect melody or write a perfect song I hope that people are connected to me on a spiritual level because they will always get it no matter what changes sonically."

UC: With regard to your mom not providing the support you needed as an artist due to not understanding -- that's a very hard, and personal thing to cope with growing up and I’m sure that may have had some effects on your artistry. You seem to be a very inclusive open book type of artist with your fans. With that being said how much do you factor in feedback, requests, and critiques into your projects?

BL: A critique is one thing but it has to come from a place where you respect it. You have to be careful about letting opinions drive what you do. I don't like the word fans but as far as my supporters go there are a lot of people that have been watching my journey for a long time. They see my heart in my music and that's my motive, my hope is that before I attempt to sing a perfect melody or write a perfect song I hope that people are connected to me on a spiritual level because they will always get it no matter what changes sonically. Because one day I may want to do a country song and I want people to still get it, feel it, and be connected to it whether that's 5 people, 5000, 17,000 or a million it doesn't matter. It's more about the spiritual connection and I've seen that. It's not so much about the quantity of responses but the quality. I've seen people tweet me, and say my album helped them get through heartbreak. I've watched people play my songs and watch their whole moods and facial expressions change. I want to heal people, I want people to want to learn and grow and I want people to feel. I just want to make classic albums and keep that same theme throughout my career because I know if I effect people's lives they'll play my music more over time versus a song that's hot now and you'll never play again. So as far as critics and opinions I try not to let it ruin that sincerity or the authenticity that I want to connect to the people.

UC: Prior to releasing #theascensionLP you've released a few covers. Could you tell us more about the conception behind your Vocal Disc Jockey project which featured some really unique covers?

BL: Oh! Whoaa! You've been listening! I see you guys are paying attention! Thats dope! I’m actually working on volume 2 of that project right now. One thing I enjoy doing is mashing up songs. Most people do covers and record the song identical to how the original records are. For me starting out in church, it puts you in that mode of learning how to flow collectively and creatively put songs together, so with my Vocal Disc Jockey project my idea was to do what I actually do live but put it on record. I also wanted to pick songs people wouldn't really hear me sing normally, like Britney Spears is on there, but you wouldn't mash that with Janet Jackson typically. I wanted to do a lot of songs that are quite bizarre mashed up and connect them through lyrics. I also wanted people to hear things they haven't heard before and research the songs and become fans of the music I'm a fan of already.

UC: That is our favorite project of yours! We thought that concept was super dope, and unique, and it has never been done in that way.

BL: I thought that project was very important. I don't like covers all that much because its been done so much, I’m big on authenticity but I do feel like there's a way to approach covers where it feels more original and different, it gives these same songs we’ve come to know and the same lyrics a different approach where it almost feels like my song because that's how much I’m connected to it.

UC: Not only are you a dope vocalist and composer but also a creative visionary, from your music videos, to your album artwork and IG curation. Could you tell us more about your visual projects past and present?

BL: If I'm being honest, all of it has been very experimental, and last minute decisions. If I curate something on IG, and have an idea in my head 1st, I’ll work backwards to create it and it'll all be done in one day versus planning ahead. I’m big on authenticity so I work it out in that exact moment when it sparks and then becomes a fire. I see things in my head all the time. I didn't go to school for graphic design so it's something I wanted to do and I stuck with it and got better over the years, same as music. I never thought I'd be good enough to do the things visually that I've done. It's more about experimentation and allowing myself to grow and learn in the midst of the experiments.

UC: Could you tell us some of your opinions on the state of R&B music, how do you see the genre evolving? Who do you think are some key players pushing the culture forward?

BL: It’s hard to give an opinion on music. I see music as such an artistic form. It's so subjective. I think it should remain that way. I hate the term “real music”, because there is no such thing as fake music. I think people should be allowed to do them. So many people single out trap artists. Of course there is the hip hop genre and culture that should be respected and held to a high standard but then artist come along and do their thing, you know? Once upon a time hip hop was looked down upon and so was R&B. I do believe it is unfortunate and weird that R&B is used throughout and influences other genres but can't be respected enough to be supported when it comes to people of color but can be admired and in some instances appropriated by so many other artists that aren't Black. But it doesn't mean R&B isn't good. I just love music so if it feels good I connect to it, I vibe with it. As far as R&B goes plenty of my peers are talented people, and I feel like we push the culture forward, there are so many indie/underground people that are pushing it forward nowadays. I love the sounds of R&B as a hybrid. I love the old school R&B and I love listening to Tank, people like that are classic. I also love listening to Emily King, Solange, SZA and Daniel Caesar taking what they know as R&B and fusing it with Gospel, and fusing it with Folk, all these different things. Again I’m big on authenticity and originality so I love the fusion of R&B. The future of R&B doesn't have to sound like the old R&B, although the old sound has a place in the industry. But it's time the culture of R&B moves forward so it can continue to live. Like I said earlier, non people of color are able to carry it more than Black people can but that’s some other politics. Sometimes R&B from Black artists just isn't accepted. But again it's all so very subjective. I hate that R&B artists have to be boxed in, people expect the artist to sound like one thing. Me as a Black male, I don't have to sing about the same stuff other Black artists sing about. I don't have to sound like all the other R&B artists. I remember I went to an Avant and Dru Hill concert and just watching all the different kind of people at the show it all made sense. There are gonna be people out there that prefer a Keyshia Cole over other artists, and vise versa and its okay! I feel like Black people, we get labeled as one dimensional and we really aren't. We are complicated individuals and have layers especially as artists. I wish people were more open to accepting that. I love so many things. I love Jazz, I can listen to it any day. Others may love hip hop. There’s so much judging and picking apart happening. It’s music. Just allow people to live and create. I'm big on supporting what you love regardless of how popular it may be. So many people spend time bashing and they don't support what they claim to love and are mad at the lack of representation. If people supported more than hate then maybe things could be in a better place. I’m a firm believer in shining light on what you like, and simply muting what you don’t.

UC: Being an indie artist isn't easy, there's no major label pushing you. You make it happen on your own. We see you put a lot of time and money into your craft in hopes that it connects with the right audience. What advice would you give to other artists trying to start out and how they could possibly connect people with their art?

BL: My advice for anyone trying to really do this. Simply just do it. Remain patient with yourself. You never know where you will go. We live in an age of instant gratification, people assume people blow up over night and that's not true. Yes people go viral and do any and everything to make it but that's not the process if you really want to last. You have to be committed to your growth. I don't want to blow up tomorrow. I’d rather see myself grow from one stage to the next to the next. You can be big today and nothing tomorrow. Stay patient with your craft and willing to grow. This applies to anything you are doing. Growth is going to be the only thing that keeps you sticking with it.

Check out Brik's latest visual here + his curated playlist below:

#interviews #music #musicans #r&B #singer #songwriter #dallas #brik.liam

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nadinejustlives · 7 years

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Sondheim in Black

If you’re looking for something to do this weekend, pop by the Galloway Theatre and catch Sondheim in Black, featuring Namisa Mdlalose and Arlin Bantam. I just did Rent with both of them and decided it would be great to catch up and find out more about their next project.

1. Sondheim in Black, that’s a pretty interesting name, what is the meaning behind it and does it hold any personal significance to your life?

Arlin: It holds personal significance because the title comes directly from us being black. The show comes from the idea of what it is like when Black people sing the show tunes and the Sondheim Catalogs. It’s basically us challenging the typical whitewashing which takes place in musical theatre. We as artists have personally experienced the issues that are brought up in this show, so we just want to bring it to the light.

Namisa: It was basically Arlin’s idea. I thought of doing a musical revue after seeing a revue that a few graduates from UCT did- and it made me think, “here’s something that I can do that is seemingly inexpensive, as well as well as showcasing my work and talent at the same time.” Then Rent happened and I was reunited with Arlin, we knew we’d have a six week break and I said, “hey, let’s do this!” This is also why I chose to study Theatre Making instead of acting at UCT, as a black artist. I Hadn’t seen many pieces of work created by black artists, so I thought, why not create these avenues myself. There is lots of black work out there, but they either go unnoticed or undocumented or it’s a very specific kind of black work - that i can’t always relate to, or write about or say that it’s from my perspective.

2. You are both fairly new to the industry, having graduated from your respective universities, what has the experience been like so far creating your own show and spreading the word about it?

Arlin: The experience has been good. I was surprised at how people were open to doing the show and how we didn’t experience any negative energy while talking about the show. I mean the people we were talking to were white people, they were open to us representing this side of the story. Handling all the admin was a bit tedious, but overall it has been a good experience. Namisa: I think, the best part was the process, which was quick and easy. We just made decisions because we didn’t have much time to put this together. We made the poster and we were just ready to do it. It is informal and it is about our lives and where we are at. We are not trying to be something we are not. There’s no serious pressure from producers to make money, we are just trying to share our work and talent. Spreading the word was quite easy but it’s still a bit scary. It’s like hosting a party and you’re worried that anybody is going to come.

3. What can we expect to see in this revue and which songs do you think the audience will enjoy the most?

Arlin This revue is just a selection of our favourite numbers from Sondheim. I think songs like; “A little Priest” from “Sweeney Todd” and “Ladies who Lunch” from “Company” are gonna be songs that people recognise. And also we have very theatrical numbers, like “Rose’s Turn” from “Gypsy”. There’s a lot to be enjoyed and things that will be recognised and songs that have been undeniable crowd pleasers since they’ve been written. Namisa: You will see Arlin and Namisa on stage. There’s no characters. There’s no dress up. There’s just us being who we are at our core on stage. I think the audience will enjoy or duet, I’m so excited and I know Arlin will be there to support me through it on stage.

4. In your opinion, how did Sondheim revolutionise theatre?

Arlin I think Sondheim revolutionised theatre in quite a significant way as he made theatre more…intellectual. Before Sondheim, everything was very 42nd Street type show tunes and very classical. Sondheim introduced difficult musical concepts and raised the intellectual level of what was happening on stage. He brought the Avant Garde Music feel into the musical theatre scene, he took musical theatre in a new and interesting direction which had never happened before. 5. What is your favourite Sondheim song and musical?

Arlin My favourite musical Hands down is Company. It’s just such a great musical, the subtly of it’s narrative, the perfection of it’s score- it just makes me very very happy. My favourite Sondheim song would have to be “Another Hundred People” from Company. There’s just something about it thats unlike any other show tune I’ve ever heard! It’s such a unique song and thats what makes it completely worth listening to. Namisa: Being Alive from Company. Actually. JUST THE WHOLE OF COMPANY. (Starts Fan Girling about Company) 6. You mentioned in the blurb that Sondheim is usually performed by one particular race, why do you think that is? And in what ways do you think we can diversify Sondheim and the people performing his music?

Arlin: Sondheim traditionally is performed by white people and I think that is because he is an American writer writing in a country that is made up of majority white people. He wrote what he knew and he can’t be faulted for that. The thought behind this show is how we can diversify this in South Africa, how do we in a South African context shy away from that tradition because we have to, because we have a majority black population. How do we localise the text, how do we look at formulating this through this medium instead of imitating a context that doesn’t represent our particular context. 7. If you could say one thing to Sondheim, what would it be?

Arlin: Thank you for saving Musical Theatre and allowing the world to see that Musical theatre could be clever and witty. It could be amazingly stimulating in a real world, literary sense instead of just being jazz hands and tap dancing. 8. Talk to us about how you guys put the show together and how you worked together to create this revue- since you do not have a director as an outside eye?

Arlin It’s been very interesting because we didn’t have a director. We had already had the idea of doing a revue together and Namisa and Jaco completely came in and understood my idea behind it. From day two it became a three party project, we have all been very equal. We didn’t need a director because we knew where we were going with it from day one. The show is different because it’s a free space, casual atmosphere and a low anxiety space. We can be ourselves in the space instead of needing a director to carve out a character for us. It is about the music and our personal politics, As long as we can get up and perform the songs and completely be ourselves then and get our message across, then that’s what needs to be done and I think that’s what we have achieved. 9. Can we expect more Namisa and Arlin collaborations in the future?

Arlin: You can definitely expect more collaborations. We’ve already thought of moving the project onto other composers. Maybe even get a bigger cast where needed. (He lists possible ideas) We are also thinking of touring theatres and taking it to a festival sometime next year to see how it does. 10. What advice do you have for people who are in this industry and want to put on their own shows, but are too afraid? Arlin I think fear should never be at play when you are sure of an idea, because if you know you have an artistic idea which hasn’t been done before and that there is a social stimulus for it, then you just have to do it. The problem isn’t going to go away unless you tackle it. Yeah, don’t let fear get in the way. Be sure that you know where you’re coming from, because then you’ll know where you’re going to and you’ll never say yes when you mean no.

Catch Sondheim in Black from April 6th -8th at the Galloway Theatre at 7:30PM

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