#thats the nature of the situation

[lunarsapphism]

i hope that someday this will all get better

#i know it wont #thats the nature of the situation #but i can hope right? #sometimes it makes me wish i had been raised religious #so i would have something to believe in #something invisible feeling like it was supporting me whether it was really there or not #but i wasnt #its lonely yknow? #what an isolating experience this one is #nobody understands #and i dont mean in that cliche 'nobody could ever understand me' way #but like they truly will not and cannot ever understand my perspective to its full extent #and thats fucking terrifying to me #everyone i love will continue to see examples of my bad days and still they will never get to know what it feels like #of course i wouldnt wish this upon any of them but sometimes i do wish at least just one of them knew what it actually felt like #i guess it would make me feel better somehow #cause right now they just sort of have to take my word for it #i dont know why i want to be understood so badly #but i do #maybe it would help #maybe it wouldnt #i dont know #i always say i hope this will all go away #or that it will get better #but i think i just hope it becomes something i can bear more easily #im so exhausted #aiilov-personal