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trashcanfills · 3 years

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Hero Killer Stain | Akaguro Chizome Relationship Headcanons

Yes I’m here to deliver.

The kind of person to only have very few friends. This guy ain’t the socialising type. I mean look at him he practically oozes lone wolf vibes. Not a people person for sure. He’s definitely socially awkward as fuck though thanks to his poker face that part of him isn’t obvious.

If you do manage to be friends with him though, oh boi where do I even begin?

He is an independent guy so expect like long ass periods of non-contact. He would occasionally check in on you to make sure that you are alive and doing well, sometimes with a text saying hes coming over. If you are lucky he might hang around for a while but apart from that he’s not gon do much (totally not because he’s socially awkward cough cough).

Really thoughtful as hecc. He’s not such an asshole to make any demands for you and your time. With how disillusioned he is with the current state of society, he’s going to cherish all the shit you have done for him, especially when you are one of the only ones who stayed with him despite the bloody path he has chosen.

Mention offhandedly about needing or wanting something? So long as he can afford it, it’s definitely going to appear on your table the next day without a trace of him left in your house. The kind to help around the house when he possibly can. Even if you try to deny his aid he’s not gonna budge at all cus he is one stubborn ass motherfucker. After some time you just give up and let him do what he wants. Though it is kinda funny to see the Hero Killer doing domestic stuff around your house.

However he can be a bit of an insensitive jerk at times. He judges a bit too hastily and makes wrongful assumptions. He also tends to believe that the fault lies within the person themselves whenever theres a problem, and will point it out if you asked for it.

This can result in arguments when you make mistakes or anything cus he will unintentionally make a comment that directly attacks you and your character. I can see that eventually you would reach a breaking point where you cry and/or scream at him about these hurtful comments. Yelling would of course devolve into an argument until you explain your feelings and situation to him such that he understands. Crying would just really hit in the realisation on how shitty his actions were and he would rectify that immediately by comforting you.

Hangouts typically consist of you guys sitting there in silence doing your own thing or watching a movie, or both of you engaging in philosophical discussion about today’s society. Yes because this is Stain we are talking about, expect the topic of False Heroes to come about. Once that happens, you would end up listening through his entire rant on False Heroes and their Unworthiness for the Hero title.

You definitely have engaged in debates with him on dealing with false heroes. He would be respectful of your views so long as they are well supported AND well-rounded arguments. Being one-sided esp towards the heroes would make him dismiss your views since it’s the same opinions adopted by the masses. Acknowledging and accepting that his views and ideals are valid would be a big deal for him, even if you disagree.

Sadly I’m not really sure if it would change much on his hero killing ways. To him, it’s the only solution he feels he could implement to best deal with false heroes, and it’s a necessary evil. Plus, he’s more of the take action guy. He can’t really just sit around, wait and think on what to do when there’s so much at stake. I find that it would be good for him to have a partner to hold him back and properly think through some stuff because of this, if he were to get into a romantic relationship. And speaking of that…

If you are in a romantic relationship with him, it’s just the above friendship qualities multiplied by 10 plus the couple things.

He WILL be a mother hen for his s/o. Regarding his friends, he tends to trust their ability to take care of themselves, only stepping in when needed to. Regarding his partner? He takes responsibility for their wellbeing. If their condition is less than perfect, he’s going to do something about it.

Accidentally cut yourself? He’s already grabbing the first aid kit. Sees you aren’t getting enough sleep? Prepared to be whooshed away and dumped on your bed. Stressed and anxious? He asks you to confide in him about your worries, and if you can’t, at least tell him how he can make you feel better.

God forbid someone lay a hand on you intending harm cus if Stain knows about it, he will straight up gut them. He will interrogate you if he sees an injury on you that’s unlikely to be an accident. He’s not going to budge until you tell him who did it to you, and even if you don’t, he WILL find out on his own. He might end up hurting someone innocent so it’s best if you tell him who did it to save him the trouble. And if they mysteriously disappear from your life, that’s only for the two of you to know :^)

He’s definitely not used to physical affection being the loner he is, so if you initiate and like give him a hug or a kiss he will get flustered and blue screen for a short while. He would also be tense when cuddling for the first few times, then relaxing a little bit afterwards. Uh don’t surprise tackle him out of nowhere unless you want to get slashed or chucked at a wall. As much as he loves to indulge in your affections, he still needs to keep his instincts honed for fighting. You never know when someone might decide to attack the both of you. (You tried to surprise hug him once. It ended up with you getting injured and him attending to your injuries while lecturing you a little about doing that AROUND A SERIAL KILLER WHO KILL HEROES for a LIVING)

But otherwise he doesn’t mind physical affection. He would grow to love it, and would gradually take initiative to touch you at any opportunity if you tell him you are open to it. This does become funny with his brilliant poker face, when you guys are doing your own thing and all of sudden he gets close to you to hug, smooch or cuddle. He gives absolutely no warning whatsoever. It never gets old. Your reactions to him doing this amuses him a lot.

Expect occasional heartfelt speeches on how much he loves you or how much you mean to him. Might not realise this himself but gOd he can be a sMOOTH motherfucker. He is good with words, and gENUINE about what he says about. He will pull off the how I saw the world as a dark ugly place until you came along speech shtick and there will be this Moment of you guys beholding each others presence. THATS how good he is. (I mean you heard him monologing while fighting Izuku, Tenya and Shouto like daamn)

He’s a very practical person and isn’t one to be sentimental. He can’t afford to be sentimental if it can jeopardise him and his loved ones in any way. He’s adamant on not keeping anything of his around in your house cus he doesn’t want you implicated or associated with his murders at all.

Somehow, if you both are really really deep into the relationship, I can see him letting both of you carrying rings from each other. Not worn around the ring finger of course cus that can attract unwanted attention, but rather it being attached to a chain necklace that both of you would have at all times.

It’s kind of a promise and dedication to you, in the sense that, if he could or if he had the chance to, he would have formally proposed to you. He hopes that he can if somehow he fulfils his personal mission, and if both of you can find somewhere peaceful and safe together.

Edit: Realised I forgot to add some stuff in lol, so dont mind that I add more points to this already long ass post. Im on mobile so apologies if formatting is weird.

#hero killer stain #stain x reader #akaguro chizome x reader #akaguro chizome #bnha x reader #mha x reader #hnnnnnngh fuck can u tell how much I love this man

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thequeenb · 5 years

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I love you

Pairings: KamilahxMC

Defeating Gaius was hard enough and cost Amy's life, but Infront of their very eyes Rheya was standing and that made everyone paralyzed. If Gaius was powerful what power could she hide? What was she capable of?

Amy's heart was pounding, the thought of someone killing her friends, killing Kamilah..it was all to much.

Rheya smiled as she began to walk slowly towards them. "My children, my powerful warriors" then her eyes landed on Amy who swallowed hard. "You saved me, my precious Queen" Kamilah stranded defensively next to her ready to protect her "Join me, lets make a world better for us, better for our bloodline"

Amy's blood ran cold with fear, she could feel the power that radiated from Rheya's body, she could feel calling her name.

"You are to useful to die right Amy?" her hand was about to stroke Amy's cheek but Kamilah grabbed her hand and pushed it away. Rheya laughed sarcastically before taking Kamilah's wrist in her hand and snap it. "You..bit--"

"So disrespectful" Rheya's tone changed, it was the scariest sound they ever heard. "And what if we don't?" Adrian was brave enough to ask.

Deep in thought Rheya responded " Then you will die trying to change my mind" they all stared at her, they knew if they tried to stop her they would be flirting with death. Amy stepped forward "What if you have only me" Kamilah grabbed her hand mouthing the words 'no' but she didnt stop herself. Rheya turned around, her eyes red burning with power. "Then i will think twice about spearing your friend's lives" her wide smile sent shivers down Amy's spine. She sacrificed herself once she could do it twice.

"Amy no" Lily said with tears in her eyes "Please dont" Jax begged her with the look on his eyes. Adrian shook his head, they didn't had a choice. They would all die if Amy didn't step forward.

All she could think about was Kamilah, she dared to look into those caramel eyes she fell in love with. They had tears, they were wet and they hid a sadness within them. She would stop, she would step back and resist the call but then Rheya gave her a look that made her fall to her knees

Rheya was lurching towards Lily who tried to fire bolts with her crossbow but it was useless, she was to powerful to feel pain. She grabbed the crossbow from her hands smashing it on her head. Reloading it she planted a bolt into Lily's chest becoming ashes.

Jax in a blink of an eye was behind Rheya trying to make her less powerful somehow. With her quick reflexes she grabbed his wrist breaking it into pieces pushing him to the ground. Taking his sword into her hands she sank it deep into his chest.

Adrian never had a weapon rather than his bare hands. He wished he did but all he could think right now was how to protect the world and his friends. He tried to attack twice failing to make her fall. She was quick to grab his arm and snap it, kicking him on his ankle and throwing him to the ground. Her evil smile was the last thing he saw.

You stand there in the middle of the chaos, all your friends are dead, all you can hear is an evil laugh. No, not everyone. Kamilah stands next to you holding you safe. Rheya was approaching with a stake in her hands smiling widely. Kamilah didn't hesitate to protect you. You couldn't move, you couldn't breathe, all you could do was watch Kamilah play with death. She would move heaven and hell for you. Rheya dodged all the attempts of an attack planting the stake very close to Kamilah's heart. You saw the pained expression on Kamilah's face, you saw the satisfied grin on Rheya's face. You stand up feeling weak, you want to fall down but you run, you run to hold her body. She lays there on the ground gasping for air. Hot tears run down your cheeks there is nothing you can do. Months ago you were in that situation, you know well how it felt, how the fear took over her body. "A-amy.." she tried to speak but her voice failed her. "Shhh.. please stay with me Kamilah, i love you you cant leave me" you hold her close knowing its the last time. Those caramel eyes you fell in love with were losing their light. "I lo- love you too" she says reaching for your face but she become ashes. Closing your eyes you scream, you scream so loud you feel your head will explode.

Amy gasped for air, when she opened her eyes Kamilah was holding her "Amy! Are you alright?" She blinked a couple of times, she felt so relieved that she felt Kamilah's touch. Rheya shot her a look with a smirk. It was a warning, she was showing her what she could do to them. No she couldn't let her touch them, especially Kamilah.

"I will join you.. but let them go" Amy said with a shaky voice. Rheya smiled extending her hand to Amy. "Give me a minute to say goodbye" Rheya rolled her eyes but she let her so.

Kamilah held Amy close to her tears running down her cheeks "Dont cry..you never do" Amy said trying to calm her "We can find a way..we can--" Kamilah tried to say but Amy made her choice. She would sacrifice herself for Kamilah a thousand times if she had to. "Come here" Lily said sobbing in her shoulder. Adrian pat her back trying to change her mind, Jax tried to find a plan but it was to late, Rheya found them first and unprepared. Kamilah looked into Amy's eyes for the last time "I love you Amy..i cant leave you" Amy wiped her tears "I love you too Kamilah..thats why i do this"

Rheya cleared her throat "Its time my child" she said approaching Amy. Amy hesitated looking back at her friends crying. Rheya stroked Amy's cheek looking deep into her eyes, she felt the power run through her veins, she felt the darkness creeping inside her, she felt different. When she opened her eyes they were burning red. Rheya took complete control over her body and way of thinking. She smiled widely "I feel powerful" Kamilah watched the once innocent Amy turn into a monster. She couldn't let that happen. She knew she was stupid, with every step her heart started beating faster and faster. She approached Amy, Rheya stepped back.

"Amy.." Kamilah said lower than a whisper. Amy wasn't in there she was gone. "Amy please.." tears threatened to escape her eyes. No response, she was standing there her eyes burning red "Amy..i love you dont go.."

Amy opened her eyes and she found herself into complete darkness. She tried to move but she failed, but she heard a familiar voice that brought back safety. "Amy i love you please.." she tried to speak but she lost her voice. A familiar scent filled her nose smelling that expensive perfume that always made her dizzy.

"Amy.." Kamilah begged, she begged her to come back but the voice was becoming more and more distant. She closed her eyes hoping its a nightmare but when she opened them again Kamilah was standing Infront of her. "I love you.." Kamilah said, salty tears running from her beautiful eyes. Amy tried to reach for her but she felt paralyzed. Was that hell? It felt like it. "I love you.." Kamilah repeated with a pained expression. Like in movies Amy was starting to be pushed away from Kamilah. Kamilah's voice was now only an echo. "I.." Amy now was more far, Kamilah's figure could hardly be seen. "..love"

Amy extended her hand trying to grab Kamilah but she was far, she felt alone." you.." it was the last words Kamilah said to her. She couldn't see her anymore, she wasn't sure if she ever would again. She was trapped into darkness. She sacrificed herself for Kamilah to live. She didn't regret that decision, she never will. But she was gone and couldn't be saved.

Kamilah pulled back from Amy giving her one last look. She was taking in her form, her beautiful face because it was the last time she would see it. A single tear fell from her eye. Amy was still standing still, her eyes filled with darkness. It was to late she lost her Amy.

Tag list: @lightning-fury @galaxyside-0 @idkbutkamilah @scarlet-letter-a0114 @la-guera-69 @ilovetaylor13m @amorettemcsky

#kamilah sayeed #bb kamilah #kamilah is my queen #choices kamilah #kamilah x mc #bloodbound #choices you play #pb choices #play choices #choices fandom #choices fanfiction

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torannosaurusrexy · 5 years

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No Mercy

Chapter 1: A String Of Losses

➝ Genre: Smut

➝ Pairing: Park Jimin | Reader

{Switch!Jimin} {Switch!Reader} {Boyfriend Jimin} {Teasing} {Masturbation} {Masturbation—Female} {Jimin Being A Lil’ Shit} {Competing Couple} {Short Fic Series}

➝ Word Count: 4728 | Ch. 1/2

{Read on AO3} ➝ {Here}

➝ Summary: Some couples play Monopoly, others play Chess. However, Jimin and you are not those couples. You prefer to play games with much higher stakes, and the stakes this time? Well, they’re higher than ever before. The rules are simple: The first to cave loses and the winner tops. Simple as that.

“Check mate.” Namjoon smiles, moving his bishop deftly into a position of no return, making you drop your jaw and nearly flip the table in frustration when you realize you lost yet another long winded chess match against the master™. Aside from Namjoon’s near genius IQ, you have to admit that he’s rather cunning and charismatic atop that reliable brain of his. He uses his way with words and means of complimenting you platonically as a means of strategic annihilation.

You fall back against the chair, huffing in subsequent diffidence that leaves Namjoon reeling. There’s no doubt that Namjoon’s gotten a kick out of your persistent thirst for victory. He wears a blithesome smile thats stretched so far from ear to ear that you worry his face is—or soon will be—permanently stuck that way. “No fair!” You jump out of your seat, pointing at the chess board like it somehow cheated you and now you were left with nothing but a string of losses and a shattered ego.

Namjoon laughs, throwing his head back before allowing it to rise again as he runs a delicate hand through his silvery locks. “What do you mean no fair? I won.” He points at the marble chess board, eyeing the abundance of pieces he took from you while he still had quite an assortment of soldiers at his beck and call…it seems Chess just isn’t your cup of tea. “The game was practically mine the second you moved your rook out of the main defense line.” He talks lambently with his hands, going on to describe what you could’ve done to avoid such a situation…and another loss. You’ve lost interest though, especially as you spot Hoseok and Jungkook deep in a game of foosball.

Now there’s a game you can go varsity in.

“That’s all great Joon, why don’t you teach Taehyung or Yoongi while I go regroup by kicking Kook’s ass at foosball?” He halts his stale monologue about the finery of chess to stare up at you with a puzzled look on his face. He turns to rest his eyes upon the two boys who have their tongues poking at the flesh of their cheeks while they try to decode the contingency of their foretold game.

Nodding, Namjoon turns back to you, smiling reluctantly. “Fine.” He relinquishes, allowing you the freedom you requested and returning his attention to the chessboard, examining the pieces and placing them back on the appropriate square as you begin to skip away towards the active match inside the large wooden table that shakes every so often due to the animosity in which the two young men play.

Jungkook scores past Hoseok and takes the game, an exponential lead that—despite his best efforts—Hoseok never would have won. “Think I can have a go?” You ask, standing beside Jungkook who’s still mid victory dance. On a piece of paper, Jin jots down the score silently.

“Finally! A rookie.” Hoseok grins, assuming you’ve never played foosball and thinks he finally has the advantage over an opponent.

“Funny, but I’ll have you know I was trained in the most advanced foosball arts.” You lie, trying to get Hoseok to cower into one of the stools beside Jin who’s now staring between the group while he waits to keep track of the next match.

“Foosball Arts? That’s not a thing.” Jungkook spins one of the metal bars within the table around quickly, rattling the little plastic players within that you can’t help but feel bad for.

You look away from the spinning bar and instead place your hands on your hips, taking a step towards Jungkook and cocking an eyebrow. “And how would you know?”

“I made Yoongi look it up once. I wanted to take a class…alas, it did not exist.” He shrugs, making everyone within the vicinity break down in laughter at his sarcastic stupidity.

Upon recovering, you step to one side of the table, holding two of the handles and taking a competitive stance. “Despite that, wanna play?” Jungkook and the others slowly let the laughter die down before positions are taken and Jin stands to drop the ball into the board.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He smirks and shifts his eyes quickly from you to the wooden table decorated pristinely like a field.

The ball is dropped and both opposing sides snap into play.

At the same time as ball meets wood, Yoongi traipses through the threshold to the lounge; Taehyung and Jimin following close behind, but they’re too caught up in conversation to notice the game taking place upon entering. Namjoon smiles when Yoongi joins him at the chess table; frankly you aren’t sure how long that will last—nevertheless, he seems overjoyed to see his close friend.

Across the room, Taehyung flamboyantly throws his hands into each word he utters; a laugh of amusement flowing from Jimin upon hearing the end of Taehyung’s unruly story. A yelp of disfavour leaps without notice from your throat as Jungkook scores, and Jimin jumps at the sound of your voice. “That’s three to three. Seems you guys are tied.” Jin announces, making yet another tally mark on the small notepad he has with a flick of his pen.

The game soon resumes and you still remain oblivious to Jimin’s entry with the others. However, he’s anything but oblivious to your presence. Embracing a taciturn air, Jimin abandons Taehyung who doesn’t seem the least bit bothered; portrayed by his blithesome smile upon approaching Yoongi and Namjoon. You spin one of the rows of players hard enough for the ball to fly past Jungkooks defenses and directly into the goal. “Yes!” You bellow, throwing your hands up in the air. Jimin takes advantage and loops his arms around your waist.

“Nice shot, but I’ve seen better.” He teases, juddering your hips back and forth in his palms gently.

You spin to wrap your arms around his neck, “Its nice to see you too.” His lips steal yours in a suitably soft smooch that leaves you blushing.

“Ughhhh, gross!” Hoseok groans jokingly, pretending to hurl into Jin’s lap. “Get a room will ya?!” The small group chuckles together before you finally slip from Jimin’s airy grasp. He lingers, admiring your derrière from afar.

“One more point and I win maknae.”

Jungkook snorts, “Yeah we’ll see about that; and it's Golden Maknae to you.”

“Don’t flatter yourself Kook.” Namjoon says from across the room, remaining absolute and focused on his game with Yoongi but somehow still finding time to shrink the Maknae’s ego.

More laughter; the most heavenly of sounds thrown from each of these boys as if they’re happy to be rid of it. It provides such rapture that you’re not sure you could ever live without the sound.

Jin drops the ball back onto the chipped playing field, and off the two of you go; spinning the plastic players with all your might. Your hands ache and sting with how tight you squeeze the paddles. You want this win. You need this win. Being competitive runs through your blood faster than that of the oxygen it carries. Currently, you have control of the ball. Getting past Jungkook wont be easy. He’s fast and has the reflexes of a cobra…scoring won’t be any walk in the park. Passing the ball to another row of your players, you slip past your adversary’s last line of defense. But, it’s too late. Jungkook spins his paddle of players and the ball goes flying all the way back, making a home directly in your goal box. “NO! Goddammit!” Hoseok and Jin burst out laughing, Jungkook celebrates with a dance.

Wiping away a jest induced tear, Jin finally announces the score. “Four to four hot stuff. Seems the maknae might win after-all.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.” You growl, keen on winning and rubbing it in Jungkooks smug face.

“I will.” Jimin shrugs, smiling. You and the others divert your stares to your boyfriend who seems for dying today. “I’ll bet that Jungkook wins. If he does…then I get something in return. Fair?”

“Uh oh, they’re doing it again.” Jungkook whispers towards his two elders who have been onlookers this entire time.

The three of them turn pale, bets between the two of you have ended in a variety of ways. Multiple involving some of the ensemble getting injured by flying shoes and handbags. Jungkook—poor boy—is the unlucky chap caught in the crossfires this time around…and the pale hue to his usually bright melanin skin tells anyone who dare to look over that something is about to go horribly wrong; or that Jungkook is about to be revisited by his lunch.

You turn to face Jimin, pulling him by the shirt towards you. “And if I win?”

He grins, his fairy like blue hair making him appear innocent when he’s anything but. “We’ll decide later. Just do me a favor and lose.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged.”

You raise a fist to hit your lover when Jungkook calls out: “Growing old here! I don’t care what the two of you get if you win or I do; but I for one would like to actually find out who owns the bragging rights.” Jin and Hoseok try their damndest to conceal smiles, but fail nonetheless.

You return to the table, trying with all your might not to let the nervousness you feel sift its way onto your face. Jungkook radiates cocky energy the second you look up to meet his steadfast eyes. “Last point; next scorer takes the game!” Jin announces, sounding exactly like a sports announcer should. “On my count.” He looks to both players. “Ready? Set? Go!”

With his last dropped word the ball follows and the game resumes, drawing the attention of all occupants of the room. Taehyung has gravitated towards the table, even Namjoon and Yoongi have turned their bodies and heads to watch the making of a foosball champion. Which hopefully, is you.

Your tongue rests at the corner of your mouth as you watch with sharp eyes: the ball move back and forth between the two teams’ players. “Get out of my way dammit!” You shout, raising a chuckle from your opponent and friends.

“That kinda defeats the purpose gorgeous.” Jungkook utters, smiling.

Jungkook has the ball, moving up the field and closer to your goal box. At last second you're able to maneuver the ball from him, moving it back towards his goal. Your attempts are short-lived however; as your opponent uses his quick thinking and rapid reflexes to steal the ball back and move it down towards your side. Sweat trickles down the back of your neck, you’re not sure if you could take another second of the stress. If you time it right, you could hit the ball past Jungkooks defense and into his goal. So, you spin the paddle.

Your heart rings in your ears and you squeeze your eyes shut. You hear the ball land in a goal box. You smile and open your eyes, ready to celebrate. Jungkook cheers, jumps up and down and moves away to do a front flip. “Victory is sweet!” He screams.

You’re at a loss for words. Your jaw falls slack and a chorus of ‘Ooo’s’ and low grunts erupt through the crowd. “Nice pull through Kook. I was sure you’d lose.”

Taehyung goes and gives Jungkook a high five, providing you with a solemn look of peace. Then, the cool presence of Jimin comes up behind you. He whispers, “Now…for the next competition.”

The evening draws to a close when the others depart to find time for themselves. Namjoon and Yoongi first, most likely heading back to their studio’s or rooms back in the dorms to produce or catch up on some much needed beauty sleep. Jin, Hoseok, and Taehyung leave not too long afterward. They said something about going out to eat. Jungkook’s head turned at that but he was looking to Jimin and you to see if you’d be joining them. “We’ll catch up Kook. Tell the other’s we’ll meet you all there.” Jimin’s smile was warmer than a crackling fireplace, and there’s no way Jungkook could say no. He pivots, and follows the others out the door with a smile.

Jimin waits until he no longer hears footsteps to turn to you and steal your lips for his own. You push him off thanks to his lingering words still swirling through your mind. “So about this competition…” You start, “Care to tell me more?”

Your lover grins from ear to ear. “So you got a hold of that did you?”

You nod. “I did. And i’d like to know what you meant by it.”

He sighs, moving his hands down to your hips and holding you there. “I was thinking...we play a game with higher stakes than that of a foosball game.”

Your curiosity has officially peaked. Park Jimin has these dark eyes that can scoop you up completely with just one glance. Your full attention is on those eyes, and what they’ll do next. “What does the winner get?”

“Topping rights.” He whispers the words with a gentle smirk plastered to his face. It's clear that this has been an idea of his for quite some time. Like a sleeping panther, he waited for his time to strike.

You waver, fluttering your eyelashes and glancing about the room. “For how long?”

Jimin licks his lips, “A week.”

“Hm, Surprising.” You’ve grown cocky, and feel a raging fire of confidence surge through you.

“What is?” Your lover questions, confused by your comment.

“It’s surprising that you’d be willing to give up topping rights for a whole week.”

He starts to laugh, to think you actually believe you’ll beat him. Jimin’s had this game of his planned out for months; and he knows your weaknesses. “I admire your confidence. But I’ll win this one Kitten, you can bet on that.”

You move forward and kiss him, mumbling a “We’ll see about that.” Between your parting lips.

Dinner at the restaurant with Jungkook, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jin was business as usual. The appetite the boys had was big; and the bill was twice that size. Upon arrival of certain meal parts and between meat being cooked, Jimin had conjured a deep and insightful conversation with Taehyung about Korean traditions and origins, a topic Jin soon took over. “Hungry?” Your lover whispers, his hand resting on your thigh.

“Very; my stomach might eat itself if I don’t get something inside me soon.”

A silence ensues between you two, but Jimin’s eyes gleam with the promise of an innuendo don’t leave you. He starts to chuckle and you soon register the words that escaped you. “I can put something inside—”

You dig your nails into his hand that you’ve been holding.

Jimin flinches, wincing in pain before reaching for your wrist with his free hand. He squeezes until you let up and whisper, “Nice try.”

Jimin smiles and looks up to Hoseok, “Hyung, we have a hangry lady over here…mind saving me from a mauling?” He asks, teasing you gently with the use of the word hangry. Doing so all while all while desperately trying to evert his train of thought from attempting to seduce you.

Hoseok proceeds to cut open different chunks of meat, checking each one for imperfections and rawness. “These few are done.” He announces, pointing to a select couple of chunks that make your mouth water.

Both Taehyung and Jin stop their conversing at the announcement of fully cooked meat. “Ladies first.” Hoseok hastily lets the words slip past his lips, gulping back a mouth of saliva.

Your own lips part to answer him as you hold out your plate. It’s then that Jimin’s hand moves towards an area of you that is usually reserved for touching within the confines of your bedroom. “ThANK you Hobi.” Jimin’s hand brushes over your panties, up and down tracing slow needy movements that causes your tone to fluctuate.

Hoseok doesn’t seem to take your tone fluctuation as anything out of the ordinary. If anything, he thinks you’re playing. “You’RE WELcome!” He jokes, copying your tone.

You quickly take back your plate, dropping it onto the table and allowing it to land safely with a clack. Jimin resumes a conversation with Jungkook to cover his own ass. His hand and fingers remain doing the job they set out to do: torture you and win this little competition as fast as possible.

Jin laughs loudly, slapping Hoseok on the back. The mixture of sounds breaks you away from and out of the haze Jimin’s fingers put—more like forces—you into. Underneath the table, your hand pushed Jimins away even though the feeling of ecstasy he feeds you leaves you in a state of ravenous hunger unrelated to the cooling meat on the plate ahead of you. If he thinks he’s going to win topping rights so easily…then he’s wrong. It’s the first night, and you plan to last much longer than that.

Jimin withdrawals, as the rules state. If he were to press on, he’d lose. And if you were to accept his come on…you would have to accept defeat.

Dammit. This competition is proving to be quite the futile feat. Hopefully…you’re strong enough to make it through without allowing a finger to slip into you.

Two. Weeks.

Two damn weeks!

Two weeks of nothing more than casual kisses and hand holds. It has been fourteen days since Jimin and you decided that this competition would be fun. And it has been sixteen days since you two last slept together.

Raw, passionate, heart rattling sex.

You have never missed it so much before. Its one thing to not have a vessel that can bring you both pleasure and love, but it’s a whole other to be tied to one and neither of you can do jack about it all thanks to a petty agreement.

“Is masturbating cheating?” You blurt mid movie viewing on the couch with Jimin who’s munching on popcorn and obviously absorbed into the plot line of the film.

“What?” He chokes, coughing up a kernel that he catches before it can pass his lips.

“Because touching myself sounds so good right now. Like, Chicago deep dish pizza good.”

Jimin chuckles, taking another handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth, chewing and swallowing before commenting. “Seems like someones tapping out.”

You raise your eyebrows and shift uncomfortably away from him, “I never said I was tapping out!” You swallow and clear your throat, “I merely asked if masturbating was cheating!”

Jimin hums, thinking calmly. “Hm…no. No it’s not.”

You cross your arms, “You’re only saying that because you’ve jizzed four times this week already.”

Jimins arm escapes from behind you, the movie that before had his attention absorbed, now completely labeled as nothing more than white noise. “What? No I—”

“Chim, I’m not blind. I know you don’t have a cold and the crumpled up tissues in the bathroom garbage were definitely not there when I left for groceries around noon.”

“Oh please, you’re telling me you haven’t touched yourself once for two weeks?”

“Three.” You correct, growing antsy.

Jimin gulps as he stares at you, looking serious but soon his soft features melt to show a laugh.

“What’s so damn funny?!” You yell, sitting up straighter.

“I can’t believe you didn’t think of the loophole sooner!”

You pick up a pillow and wack him with it, he moves the popcorn out of the way; sacrificing his face in lieu of the buttery bowl. “Asshole.”

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds Kitten. Just say the word.” He wears a smug grin that whispers devilish intent, he wants to cave just as much as you do; but he knows he can’t. Winning is his ultimate goal.

“In your dreams.”

“How’d you know?”

“Ha. Ha. Hilarious.”

Jimin looks away, picking his popcorn back up and continuing to eat. “Fine then, thats your call. Suffer alone.”

“I won’t suffer.” You stand, turning towards your boyfriend before leaving the room, “I don’t need you to cum. Enjoy the movie Jimin.” You call, catching your boyfriend mid mouthful as he turns to watch you go.

“What? Where are you going?! Rachel is about to stand up to Eleanor at the wedding! I’m betting—and hoping—that she slaps that woman! Do you think she actually farts channel N.5?” He mumbles the last part to himself, but eventually pauses the film to chase after you, wherever you ran off to.

Jimin moves swiftly down the hall with a couple last pieces of popcorn in his hand. He couldn’t possibly enjoy the movie without you. Besides, you were keeping him warm and now he’s caught a chill thanks to your absence. “Babe, I’ll get fat if you let me eat all this popcorn alone. Please come watch with me. I’m sorry I laughed.” He giggles to himself again, remembering the question you asked. “I just figured that you of all people would have taken full advantage of that loop hole. I’m surprised, and impressed!” He compliments.

Your shared bedroom door is ajar, and Jimin approaches it with caution; recalling several pranks involving flour, airhorns, and slime that have taken place in this very threshold. His mouth falls agape when he begins to form your name, the letters averse as they never fully reach maturity. From within the bedroom Jimin can hear stuttering pants and moans, ones so mystifying and familiar. They could only be coming from you.

Those sweet purrs you let out acting as music to Jimins ears.

Clearly, his answer to your question imbued in you enough courage to put date night on pause and pleasure yourself in the next room. Your behavior was insufferable, but oh so resolute. The intricacy of your movements had Jimins own hand palming his length through his jeans. The rules to this competition state that touching each other is forbidden and therefore no possibility. But, no where does it state that voyeurism is unwelcome.

Within the room, on the edge of the bed your lips incrementally part; the space between them unceremoniously filled with your tongue that pokes at the opening. Jimins hand squeezes tighter around his length with each pump over his length. The very sight of you so exposed and lust driven is indisputably the most beautiful you’ve ever appeared. Coveted, Jimin moans quietly as your finger is joined by another, your free hand working on other erogenous zones to provide a more fluid pleasure. Jimin dubiously sidles closer to the opening in the door, seeking fortuitous noises from you to further fuel his movements. “Jimin…right there.” You coo, imagining that it was your lover who was moving within you in lieu of your two digits.

Thats all Jimin needed.

As painful as it is to complete, Jimin zips his jeans. He tucks his length against his stomach, held in place by his belt. Assuming position, he allows his foot to push the door open gently. However, the push is strong enough to reveal him standing in the doorway. “Right where baby?”

“Come to torture yourself?” You grin, curling your fingers deep inside you. Their motion is slow but rough. The very feeling has your eyes rolling back in your head.

“Of course not. I find great joy in watching you fall apart under your own hands. The very sight will hold me over for another week. Maybe two, if I use my time wisely. So thanks Kitten.” Jimin winks, and reaches for the door. “Have fun.” He coos before walking out and closing it over.

“Fuck you Park Jimin!” You yell, realizing just now that despite the view, you may have actually helped your boyfriend win.

Attempt One: Failure.

“How in the holy mother of hell are you guys still alive?”

“Hobi, people don’t just drop like flies when they haven’t gotten laid for a little while.” Jimin laughs, sipping from a water bottle between choreography sessions.

“A month Jimin! I’d be worried for my health!” The elder boy fakes a shiver, laughing when he catches wind of the laughable air the situation withholds.

Jungkook gets up from stretching on the floor, he too is drenched in a thin sheen of sweat. “I thought you were kidding! She’s right there all the time man, how have you been keeping it down?!”

Jimin smacks his lips; “Kook, let me show you something.” He takes Jungkook by the shoulder, throwing his arm over it to control where he walks. He saunters him over to a mirror. “You see this?” He says, pointing at Jungkooks reflection.

“Yes? It’s me.”

Jimin nods, “Correct. I too see a virgin who has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about.”

Jungkook throws Jimin’s arm off of him, blushing profusely and shooting the two older and now laughing boys a burning look of hatred. “I’m not a virgin!”

“Surrrrrrre; whatever you say Golden Virgin.” Hoseok jibes, sipping from a water bottle with a drenched towel around his neck.

“The Virgin Mary Maknae!” Jimin turns, pointing at Hoseok when he comes up with the second nickname.

The two hyungs hold hands and begin to chant half-assed nicknames that leave Jungkook stained red.

After practice, the room had been evacuated; only Jimin left surrounded by mirrors. And of course…his cell phone. He knows you’re probably home right now. Shoulder deep in a month old package of questionable Oreos. Whats wrong with sending one picture? One little picture. Jimin knows that if you reciprocate…he wins.

Positioning himself in front of one of the many floor length mirrors, Jimin opens his camera and holds up his shirt with his mouth. His joggers hang low enough to reveal his deep v-line and when he flexes each individual abdominal muscle becomes enhanced. “Chew on this baby.” He slurs to you, smirking into the cloth in his mouth. His finger hovers over the send button after the picture is taken. It’s with that same cocky grin that he clicks send.

You hear the ding from your phone on the coffee table. Jimin was right. You’ve already made a tyrannosaurus like dent in this package of Oreos, and there’s no chance of you stopping in sight. You continue to munch cuddled up on the couch with a fuzzy blanket, picking up your phone with innocence in your doe eyes. His name appears all happy on your screen, so you unlock the device without hesitation.

19:34 Jiminie 🥰💖 | Hi Kitten, just finished practice! Hobi worked Kook and I to the bone today. Look how sweaty he got me!

It’s with slim ambivalent behavior that you click on the photo Jimin has sent. You gulp at the sight. The view is downright blasphemous. The most nefarious part to it being that you just know he meant to send it. Time and time again has Jimin seen the way you look as him after a good workout and just how it affects you. Nothing has changed now. It physically hurts you not to tell him to rush home. Or that you’d love to come and see what he’s practiced today…not that you’d be seeing anything other than his shimmering body moving against yours.

You need to answer him. He probably knows your gawking—more like drooling into your Oreos—at him. Through gritted teeth, you set out to extinguish his inner incubus by typing up something…normal.

19:37 | Thats great baby! So glad you had a great time! You’re probably famished after all that exercise. What do you want for dinner?

Jimin chuckles to himself upon reading your response. He can imagine what you look like based off of previous knowledge. You’re most likely blushing and biting your lip. It’s all too easy.

Jimin swallows, typing a response thats sure to be incendiary.

19:40 Jiminie 🥰💖|You.

He quickly answers. You hold your phone tightly, blushing and biting your lip in the exact fashion that Jimin imagined.

19:40 | I think we’re fresh out :( Will pasta suffice?

Jimin sighs. He’s picked a worthy opponent. One that won’t go down without a fight.

19:44 Jiminie 🥰💖| I guess :/

#Park Jimin #JM #PJM #Jimin #Jimin Park #BTS Jimin #Reader x Jimin #Jimin x Reader #BTS #Kim Namjoon #Kim Seokjin #Min Yoongi #Jung Hoseok #Kim Taehyung #Jeon Jungkook #Switch!Jimin #Switch!Reader #No Mercy #J-hopeyouchokeme

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 6 years

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Okay folks. this is it. part 1 of the final chapter

here we go.

trial day 2?? oh yeah i forgot they split this game up in the worst, uneven way possible

wow that cutscene was

something alright

wow datz actually managed to hold onto the snow globe. kudos?

what the fuck

i think i heard it wrong but Dhurke’s objection sounds like an old man

I'm pretty sure i heard it wrong

missed the bass

who was that no– oh Garananana

i guess she's gonna be the final boss instead huh

im so tired i cant even snark properly

“is that kosher?”

i like it

oh god

what.... what is she wearing

i mean

fuckin

TALK about madonna-whore complex. oh yeah, time to turn super evil?? bear your midriff! show off dem tiddies!

look, SOJ. theres only one bad bitch in ace attorney who can pull off floaty tendril hair, and its NOT ga’ran.

i cant believe i have to look at this train wreck for the rest of the trial

“heh heh heh. its all coming back now. the feel of my blood pumping through my veins”

this is perhaps because youre actually moving now, your eminence.

can we just dispense with the trial and have a good old fashioned anime fight? cmon apollo, spike up that hair and grab your BFS.

“meep”

WHATS WITH THE MEEPING

BONNY DID THAT TOO

SOJ ITS 2016 ...ACTUALLY ITS 2028 YOU HOLES

everyone in the court: :O what??? whats wrong with rayfa??? why is she sad???

oh i dunno maybe because her fucking Father just got brutally murdered?? maybe??

what the fuck is up with SOJ characters being dumb as a bag of bricks when it comes to other peoples’ feelings regarding death of loved ones???

phoenix: shits fucked, thats why?? apollo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“seems like she's worse off today than she was yesterday”

hey game you'd better not be implying any shit

“discipline”

soj

alright, back after another longass break. i can do this.

( That’s oddly compassionate of him, all things considered )

I was about to defend Nahyuta because what kind of person wouldn’t try to spare a child from witnessing that kind of trauma... but then again, this is the Sadmad who purposefully tried to trigger someone into losing a trial so

(shrug emoji)

grana’s gone into full HORHORHOR BITCH MODE

partially I'm totally numb because i dont have any stakes in her newfound ebilness, and partially I'm tired of this weird new trend of child abuse in the new games

“Barbed head.”

oh my god

the first person she goes to after realizing that her caretaker is gone is fucking Phoenix

im gonna cry

“ive been reduced to “royal robe remover”” NO NICK YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED TO DAD BY SOMEONE WHO’S NOT YOU

( ‘It’s like she’s grooming Mr. Wright to be Nayna’s replacement’)

I know this game is all about confusing bullshit for heartwarming moments and vice versa but guys

good lord

my heart

i really needed that

(sigh) they really couldn’t get someone who sounded like a fucking 14 year old to do her voice?? really???

rayfa: (looks like she's going to die and collapses)

apollo: this is not good...

gee apollo you really think so?

wait a fuking second

we went through the whole dance cutscene and we’re not even going to see the pool??? does that mean the priestess has to be conscious and present for the images to be visible? ...and how does that work, anyway?

i just realized, a medium could use a pool to see the dead, but how the hell could they project it for others to see?? does she literally open a portal to hell???

(sigh) i just regret sitting through that cutscene again

“cabal of traitorous lawyers”

i love that

(Seriously Dhurke? This is no laughing matter.)

this basically sums up Dhurke’s entire personality

...yknow, i know what they were trying to do with his character– i really do. i know he’s supposed to come off as a dashing, cavalier rebel who laughs in the face of danger.

but they overshot endearingly irreverent and ploughed straight into fuckwaddome. if you want a character to be charming, they need softer moments too. Dhurke isn’t a bad person, but he’s kind of an asshole when you get right down to it, and nothing so far is proving otherwise.

ok ive heard Dhurke’s Objection again and it doesn't sound like an old man– it just sounds about as overblown and ridiculous as Manfred von Karma’s (not to mention about as deep)

LET DHURKE SAY BITCH

... i guess

another perfect example of Dhurke being kind of a fuckwad: he keeps needling the queen and baiting her in ways that could get himself killed, which would be all fine and dandy if he were the brave resistance leader being tortured for information in the bowels of a dungeon.

...but here’s the thing.

IF YOU DIE, DHURKE, APOLLO AND PHOENIX DIE TOO. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GODDAMN DC ACT? ITS NOT JUST YOUR DEAD ASS ON THE LINE HERE SO SHUT YOUR SASSY TRAP AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR *AMAZING WIT* FOR ONCE.

you’ve got 2 extra lives on the line here.

...3 if my suspicions are correct.

stop calling him son please you abandoned him in an orphanage and didnt contact him for 14 years.

...and if he can’t call you ‘dad’ you have no right to call him ‘son’

coming back to this after ghost trick has convinced me that one of ga’ran’s lackeys miiiiiight be related to Cabanela, baby

“Wright... I can see we are kindred spirits, you and I! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!!”

FUCK YOU DHURKE

“It’s pretty easy to spot the difference between a soulless man and the soulless shell of a man”

ok that did get a laugh out of me, good job dhurke.

apollo: pls dont get us killed dhurke: mmmm ok ill try but I'm not promising anything lol

://///

“But remember, son, if you truly believe in me, you should be able to prove my innocence.”

do i even have to list how many reasons thats wrong and a shitty thing to say

“Such Insolence”

You’ve been beat out, Not So Fast

Ga’ran used Gust!

Apollo flinched and couldn’t move!

“I could behead you at any time”

she's got a point; she’s a fucking despot, there’s no reason to actually hold a trial. i mean i guess she wants to shut up the rebels but just killing them would be a lot easier and its not like she has any qualms about murder

“Aw shoot, ya got me.”

again, not an appropriate reaction for whats going on buddy

lol get fucked kjudge

DGFUFUS OH COOL

WE GOT GUILTY (excited cheers from the audience)

the applause and the shots of everyone with :O faces is making me feel like i just won a gameshow

wheres my cheesy jingle

also i love how Dhurke’s like “oh shit!! my assholishness has directly resulted in my son’s death!!! did NOT see that coming!!!!!!!!!”

again the sound mixing is drowning out the background music (sigh)

“your benevolence? I’d be happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk!”

>this is it, this is why he leaves the series guys. Apollo is too good for these sinful games.

DAMNIT DHURKE, YOUR SHIT MOUTH IS RUBBING OFF ON YOUR SON

hmm

we’ve got an april may here

“Rayfa, I shall buy you a new servant”

so Kooraheen practices slavery..? I mean, she.... she said ‘buy’, not hire.

“she would have left shoeprints”

do you know what evaporation is your malevolence

wait wait wait

that doesn't make any sense

the only prints leading out are from Inga, but the prints inside the building are from Nayna? how did she avoid leaving prints leading inside, then?? did she just long-jump over the dirt path???

the guards are not fanboying, apollo, they’re toadying. there’s a difference.

apollo: maybe the place he was stabbed and the place he died were different

(the game only continues after you carefully explain what dying of blood loss is three years later)

to be completely fair, there are actually stories of people who were unaware of being stabbed

furthermore, when you get stabbed, you’re not going to be the most rational human being on earth.

phoenix, don’t give sadmad that point, especially when he’s currently assaulting your protege

now, as i was saying, Apollo’s suggestion that Inga was stabbed in the back and then ran into the temple is perfectly plausible; running to shelter from an attacker is probably the first thing you’d want to do when injured, and the tomb was a pretty safe place, i’d wager.

tbh i really don’t know why they’re arguing about him feeling the pain as that wouldn’t really impair his movement considering he was stabbed in a place that wouldn’t affect his ability to walk???

but yeah apparently he was doped up to shit so

...i highly doubt back pain medication is strong enough to negate a stab wound. on the other hand, if it is and your back pain is THAT intense, Inga, you need to see a fucking doctor pronto.

...yeah shots straight into the spine is one step away from surgery; not to be an asshole but I'm not sure Inga was doing so well anyway before he went

huh. are they really gonna give us an actual choosable choice to abandon Dhurke and save our own skin? Cause that would be interesting; a lot like the old games where you could “”choose”” to defend a client or not.

to be clear here, though, i wouldn't choose “no” even as much as i dislike dhurke. we know (sigh) that he’s innocent, and even if i dont like him it’s our duty to defend his shitty ass

OH HOLY FUCK

THERES THE CHOICE

wow. y’know SOJ, i dont much like you, but you fuckin Did That. well done.

also thank you for the Justice pun it is much appreciated.

“And while I can’t say I’m used to it, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo”

FWHAT

>game flashes back to the Ahlbi case

DSKJFLS THIS IS LITERALLY THE “at second rodeo: this isn't my first rodeo” POST

YES OK WE’VE SEEN THIS CUTSCENE TWICE NOW ALREADY

WE GET IT, RAYFAS GOT COLD FEET ABOUT BEING QUEEN

MAYAS IN THE GAME

phoenix: allow me to mansplain how rayfa is feeling despite how fucking obvious it is. after all, we know our players have the mental and emotional capacity of goldfish!

oh hey mansplain is a legit word in the dictionary

cool!

why are they building this up?? just fucking tell Rayfa to do her stupid dance again and get on with it; we already did this at the beginning of the trial

“Hmm... Indeed. It would be problematic.”

ohohoooohohohhhihgjhgo

oh her nails are actually tiny pen

thats neat

thank goodness Kooraheeneese is an up-and-down written language– otherwise they’d have to make a whole new animation for the english game teehee

“....................But... Horn Head needs my help”

oh my heart

dan she just straight up begone’d her

see the one thing that falls flat here is that, during a regular trial, the prosecution saying “oh, ok, have it your way; you can try to prove your theory” holds up a little more since they... you know. don’t have absolute power.

where as, with Garananana, its more like she's just a huge posturing pushover. especially since every other minute she's saying “ok, I'm gonna kill you for REAL now.”

rayfa: b but if i fail you'll be killed!!! i dont get it...

apollo: i literally just finished explaining that I'm 100% ready to die for my shitty job that was like 5 minutes ago

it is sweet to see that he’s cheering her on though. good big bro

I'm finding small solace in this beautiful moment of “your foreign dad and bro are here for you babe reach for the stars”

Athena’s probably flashing a double thumbs up from the gallery too

“But... I finally know now. I know in what I can trust”

Bobby, from the afterlife: YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

Garan: What??? my tiny 14 year old daughter is going to do a thing i don’t want her to??? fuck there’s no way i can shut her up. not even with all of my large adult man guards who could easily just escort her out of the courtroom without any resistance because they’re my fucking royal guards and I'm the Queen

oh shit she took off her own cape

im so glad i muted the game so her awful voice actress couldn’t ruin this cool moment

and now as this long ass cutscene plays out again, i simply cannot help but wonder about the poor choir and how long they’ve been on standby

where do they keep the choir during trials

whats it like singing the dance of devotion song every trial

oh finally here we go. alright, lets see what the magic party pool has in store for us this time

...o ...ok then

OH! OH SHIT

Inga’s face blind?!

Y’know I did have a few thoughts about that when we discovered his notebook but I didn’t think they’d actually go that route... though, thinking about it now, it is pretty convenient.

...ok everyone’s freaking out. maybe they’ve never heard of face-blindness? ...or maybe its not face blindness after all

im pretty sure it is though

i dont know why but everyone being like FUCK ITS GOD and phoenix being like “whoops shits trippy now” made me laugh pretty hard

ok i gotta say I'm actually a little invested now, even if its just because i think face-blindness is an interesting thing to incorporate into a murder case. again, a convenient thing, but an interesting thing all the same.

ahh fuck i keep forgetting how the stupid seance works

welp, there goes one of my souls... (sigh)

..apollo you dont need to show her the picture of her dead father to say “he had a cell phone”.

the voice was coming from INSIDE THE PHONE

RAYFA HAS A PET FROG????

WHAT

SHOW US THE FROG SOJ

SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG!

...why would Rayfa interpret the sound of the warbaa’d (something she’s familiar with) with a lion’s roar (something she’s unfamiliar with) ??

oh i see thats why Vore Machine is an idiot

for plot convenience

Datz Are’bal, a man who throws fire crackers at children.

...sounds like an are’bal guy.

bahdum-tshh

“The joker who got a kick out of startling Ahlbi with his Dragon Snot Snaps”

...something tells me that if Datz found out about Youtube, he’d be one of those “””prank””” channels.

also WHY ARE THEY CALLED SNOT SNAPS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

“happy-go-lucky”

i think you mean vaguely sociopathic

(sigh) ive finally been worn down to the point where i need a walkthrough. ive... been beaten...

boy ahlbi’s just a font of knowledge isn't he

DID SHE JUST BREAK HER NAILS OFF

PLEASE SAY THOSE WERE STICK ONS

HOL SHIT

MMMM LAY IT ON ME NICK

face blindness

... i mean theyre not calling it that but thats what it is

yeah yeah channeling blah blah come on! youre in the LAND of channeling !

shduhjahdjk

I'm picturing Inga running into his own dead body and flipping his shit

oh man. thats the end of Trail 2 part 1.

guess i’ll see you guys on the other side... heheh.

#soj spoilers #sulking over SOJ #ooc #its a LONG one]

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pansyp · 7 years

Text

thinking a lot about how absolutely useless the adults of HP are? like especially dumbledore but like just off the top of my head:

philosopher’s stone

dumbledore leaving harry in the care of the dursleys despite hogwarts being ‘the safest place’ that isn’t gringotts

mcgonagall letting it happen

dumbledore letting it continue despite mrs. figg reporting back to him - seriously, there’s absolutely no way he didn’t know about the abuse way before the letters started arriving

the other teachers letting it continue even after harry arrives at hogwarts, again, there’s no way anyone missed the too large clothes or the fact that he was definitely malnourished

ron gets bitten by a dragon and nearly dies? madam pomfrey had to have figured it out and yet no one asks any questions about why an 11 year old is in hospital with dragon bites?

four 11 year olds get taken into the forbidden forest which is filled with creatures that will kill you in order to track a dying unicorn - seriously, no matter how you phrase that it doesn’t sound better

even after Harry nearly died at the hands of a staff member Dumbledore hired in the first freaking book he wasn’t given any kind of counselling, just sent back to his abusive family

chamber of secrets

the school isn’t closed like immediately when students start getting paralysed? there’s a historical precedent that a student is going to die and somehow it isn’t shut down straight away? like w h a t

dumbledore knows harry is being bullied and ostracised for something he knows is false - he knows riddle was slytherin’s heir, and he knows harry’s heritage, and he allows it to happen anyway

hermione brews a polyjuice potion and turns into a cat monster and none of the teachers bat an eyelid? like they had to know she didn’t do it for fun and that there was some reason for brewing it and they didn’t do anything?

when ginny is taken into the chamber they send lockhart, despite literally everyone thinking he’s a fraud - not someone who could actually save her - they would have let her die

lockhart tries to obliviate two literal children?

the only reason ginny is alive and voldemort didn’t return is because harry is suicidally heroic because of abuse

harry, the twelve year old, is commended for walking into the lair of a hideous monster with no defence except his wand, and again given no counselling and sent back to the abusive fam again!

prison of azkaban

dumbledore allowed sirius black to be falsely imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years despite knowing he was innocent, and then let harry and worse lupin believe that sirius was guilty

harry runs away from his abusive home and no one gives a shit except to make sure he wasn’t murdered by the guy they all though was after him but didn’t tell him about (even though sirius would have known about petunia and she wouldn’t have been that hard to find if he’d actually wanted to kill harry, demonstrated by the fact that he does find harry to check on him in his dog form)

i hate to say it but yeah hagrid should not have taught a class on hippogriffs first thing, they’re a class of 13 year olds, there are boys, they’re a combination of slytherins and gryffindors aka your most likely houses to be egotistical and reckless, it is very lucky it was not worse, i have worked in a school and there is nothing more likely to show disrespect than a 13 year old boy who’s been told to be respectful

dumbledore asked hermione and harry to save sirius by going back on an incredibly dangeous time travel mission while lupin was wolfed out in the forest and just after harry nearly got his soul sucked out of him like seriously???

harry gets sent back to the abusive fam again with no counselling by anyone (seriously, someone? anyone? mcgonagall? sprout?)

goblet of fire

the guy everyone thought moody performed Unforgivables in front of a class of 14 year olds and wasnt reprimanded

does Draco get counselling for being turned into an animal and forced down his friends pants? thats some deeply fucked up stuff right there, the body horror alone

everyone just lets Harry, a 14 year old, compete in a tournament they decided just this year to exclude all minors from! they all know that there was a Death Eater demonstration at the World Cup, anyone with even basic reasoning skills would have been suspicious - and should have tried to figure out a way around the ‘binding magical contract’

more minor, but molly weasley believes that hermione - again a 14 year old - is playing with two peoples affections and it isn’t until harry speaks up that she even starts to believe it isn’t true - she’s ice cold to her son’s best friend for almost the entirety of that year

rita skeeter literally breaking all kinds of laws and being generally creepy and manipulative and the adults just letting that happen? harry has no experience with the press at all, and he has the worst time that year and the next few too because no one ever said oh by the way this is how to deal with that

harry watches cedric die, watches voldemort return, gets crucio’ed, has to duel voldemort, sees apparitions of his dead parents, gets taken back to moody’s office, interrogated by moody and still gets no counselling what the fuck

order of the phoenix

dementors attack harry and dudley and all but a select few just believe he cast a patronus to spook his cousin? what?

dumbledore spends the entire book ignoring harry despite the fact that voldemorts returned and harry sees him as a mentor and is visibly struggling with the effects of ptsd

no one tells him anything for months while school’s out. he’s trapped in an abusive household, he has ptsd and horrifying nightmares, he’s taking walks all the time so he doesn’t have to be at home, and then he finds out dumbledore was the one who stopped everyone giving him information

everyone in the order condescends to him about him joining, despite the fact that he’s now faced voldemort in various forms four times now, three times if you only count times he wasn’t an infant

except sirius, who encourages harry despite him being fifteen and already being suicidally reckless with his life

literally none of the adults in the order do anything to make harry feel useful, needed, or in the loop on anything, even though his life is very much at stake because he knows voldemort wants to kill him

umbridge pretty much takes over hogwarts and the only proper resistance is from the students and mcgonagall

hagrid starts keeping his half-giant brother tied up in the forest when that’s? a terrible idea? again, he’s very very lucky grawp liked hermione because otherwise the Trio could have been easily killed

harry feels so ignored by dumbledore that he tries to go save sirius himself, and only his friends persistence gets him to even take them along. harry feels so ignored by the man who is supposed to be his caretaker at the school that he was going to break into the ministry of magic to try and save his godfather from Voldemort by himself

he still has to go back to the dursleys! no counselling! his godfather dies! he has no family left except his abusers! and now he knows he has a mental link with voldemort! why!

seriously there’s no power in that blood magic that excuses keeping him there for his whole childhood when he would have been just as safe if not safer on hogwarts grounds

half-blood prince

dumbledore knows draco has to kill him and instead of confronting him and offering a safehouse or clemency or something he just lets draco try to kill him, knowing what he’s being threatened with, and hopes draco will ‘make the right choice’ when making that choice means that his family dies because voldemort is currently living with them

dumbledore fails draco so, so badly, because there’s no reason apart from guilt for draco to purposefully fail his mission, and his guilt isn’t strong enough for him to let his family die, and dumbledore has to know that

his speech before his death to draco is the perfect example of too little too late, if Draco had been offered those choices before in a safer more controlled setting he probably would have taken them and he wouldn’t have ended up so fucked up and fucked over by the situation

also the whole giving harry all the details about horcruxes but not giving him any other resources, information, knowledge, spells or anything like that is...appalling? also the fact that he expects harry to do it by himself, without hermione and ron, like that’s a reasonable thing to expect of a child - the ring’s curse is actively killing dumbledore and he expects harry to destroy them all by himself and then also kill voldemort

i don’t even have words for this book! it’s so fucked up!

deathly hallows

harry finds out that he was always meant to die because of snape’s memories

dumbledore literally planned for his death, banked on it actually

harry has never had a choice, never had agency, his personality has been steered towards selflesness and matyrdom by years of choices reinforced by praise

also they spend the whole book on the run and break into three of what should be the most guarded places in the UK without much trouble? like seriously, that shouldn’t have been that easy at all

harry fucking dies because dumbledore and snape convinced him that it was the only way, and left it to the last minute to tell him, so even if there was another way to get rid of his horcrux- and you’d better believe hermione would have found one - there wasn’t enough time

there was no guarantee he’d come back

he didn’t think he’d come back

what the fuck JK

#mine #series: harry potter #long post /#SORRY I'M REALLY MAD

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