#that's the part I'm dreading the most

[sergle]

How long will you be bed ridden once you've got rid of the tonhongerekoogers?

Dr. Boobs said that I'll be on my feet and operating normally after about the first week, but w a very limited range of motion. depending on how I react to the anesthesia (some feel very sick), I could be fucked up for the first few days / first week, but I could also be strolling around and chilling two days into the healing. don't really know yet!

#he told me in very perky fashion that this surgery has a short recovery time #that ppl generally start going back to work after a week and can do cardio-like activities after two or three #but that I shouldn't even fucking THINK about trying to raise my arms over my head for MANY weeks #and I shouldn't lift anything even REMOTELY heavy for the first 10. #so my life should be PRETTY normal pretty quickly- not bed ridden but not COMPLETELY fine #I'm going to have t-rex arms and won't be able to wear shirts that don't button or zip in the front basically #and I'll have to sleep like a dumbass (on my back) #that's the part I'm dreading the most #sergle answers

[howcouldtheyletmebeanadult]

So...

holy shit this conversation, i have. so many thoughts.

i'm like, 80% sonic is gonna face some kind of betrayal from either dread or nine

#nine because he is the most important variant obviously so his betrayal would hit harder #also because he wanted to use a shard to create his own perfect world. and sonic needs them to fix his #also also because it's likely fixing sonic's world would make the shatterverse dissappear #and with nine having researched the shards i find it likely he could be the one to find out about the consecuences of fixing the cristal #and i doubt he would be a fan of the whole dissapearing to instead become a part of someone else thing #plus he was the one named during the conversation about the people from the shatterspaces #and in the trailer for s2 we had images of him implying he would meet the other tails #i'm not saying he's gnna be EVIL but he might be against sonic at some point #and in the case of dread #WE the audience know he's selfish and only cares about himself and his treasure #but neither his crew nor sonic found out about that #i find it unlikely they would just let him get away with using people like that #so at some point he's gonna have to do something that outs him as the ruthless person he is #plus he is OBSESSED with his shard. why would he let sonic keep it #we know the council gets hold of his shard at some point #so maybe they loose it on their first appearaence this “season” and then he cooperates to get his shard back #but when the moment comes to let sonic have it (after recovering the shard) he steals it or something #sonic prime #sonic prime season 2 #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime season2 #sonic prime s2

[babacontainsmultitudes]

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha #I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours... #''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months #Like #Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death #But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky! #I worry a lot about wasting my life #I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death #Or a painful one #I suppose I've always been gerascophobic... #But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately... #I haven't been great I guess #I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!! #And I've been going nowhere. #:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think #Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me. #*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol #😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old #🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent #working on some different stuff for a bit. #ANYWAYS #I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️ #oh or day if it's day for you lol

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0 #Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread #Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers #Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha #The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax! #Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!! #It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!! #Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u; #Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to - #Until it comes to his eye #Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/ #It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh #For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear #It's so sad ;; And so well done <3 #And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl #Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :') #Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it #Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone? #''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really #Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔 #That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :) #I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol) #I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers! #Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally #Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose

[vvanessaives]

you know how it is with blonde men, even worse if he’s italian too

template

#jude law as fenix everybody go woooo #everyone has seen mr fenix at this point. say u see the vision. he's basically a young slutty jude law. #cyberpunk 2077 #oc: fenix #*ocstuff #attempted to edit his eye color too to fit the Canon but..don't look at it too much #that timeline part. so much to say. so many layers. fenix will go through the most traumatic shit of his life and say 'it is what it is' #i love the connections part every time i gotta do smth like that for him its like (rolls dice) which mortal enemy i'll put in here #also yes. that's idris elba in ephraim's photo. yes. i'm experiencing dread and loss bc of the dlc. no. i will not change his fc. jskfdsjk #anyways :)) light blue suits so well my friend berto my bestie i truly love him so much (bites him and shakes him around like a squeaky toy)

[thyandrawrites]

Wig styling is Hard and I give up dhsjjshs

Tfw it looks better from the sides than it does from the front

Me 🤝 Dabi

Ruining Hawks' modeling career with our handiwork

Hdhdjsj but anyway! This was my second attempt at styling this wig and I'm much happier now. You can still tell I'm a newbie at it but at least now his hair looks windswept and messy rather than a series of styled cowlicks lmao. You can vaguely glimpse at my first attempt on my instagram if you're curious but I don't have pics anymore

I will say, tho, I now understand why there's cosplayers who pay their bills with wig commissions. This stuff is hard and takes up So Much Time

#By the end my fingertips had a layer of got2b so thick my phone wouldn't unlock with my fingerprint #I'm amazed that this isn't a wig specific product and that people voluntarily put this stuff on their hair #It works but at what cost #This shit is Stronk #Thyandra.txt #Cosplay #Yes btw this is still the same hawks cosplay from 2020 #I haven't worked on it since #But I'm determined to finish it #If I can muster the strength to work on the most dreaded part... The wings #I have the skeleton already but idk if I'm using that or redoing it too #Choices... Choices

[heffrondriving]

oh well, at least seeing my fave boys re-recording paralyzed in the studio instantly cheered me up ahh ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა they just sound so good and never miss with those stunning vocals!!! 💖 istg if this song doesn't happen bc of all this brainrot tomfoolery abt it i'm going to throw hands >:((

#kendall in his Cool Dad™ shades aND HIS LIL BEARD STROKE BEFORE SINGING GOT ME FLOORED TALENT IS STORED IN THE SCHMIDT SCRUFF CONFIRMED!!!! #also the way ken smiles proudly at carlos and claps while he kills it on the mic;; my soul is entirely cleansed +1000 kenlos love hp :'>✨ #ALSO YESSS FINALLY JUSTICE FOR MORE CARLOS SONG PARTS PLEASE AND THANK YOU VV MUCH!!! <3 #i never really talked abt it here but please know that his chorus in honey is one of my most favourite things in the world ever and it's a #HUGE reason why honey is my most fave new btr song so far. smth about it just itches my brain and sends me into excited zoomies like a pup #my hopes for this is that they really amp the new instrumentals. like proper rock levels with distorted guitars and crunchier mixing ykyk #make us really feel that hype!!! it's one of the main reasons paralyzed has never quite been up there for me but that's only bc i'm an emo #pop-punker metalhead loser with too many expectations who's been dying to cover said song in a mad post-hardcore style forever so yeah #i wamnt them to release paralyzed so bad;; if y'all asinine fucks screwed this for everyone up big time i am going to turn into the joker ! #n e way *makes shitty meme on my directly on my google photos to cope with the online stress and dreadful waiting and hits post* #btr #big time rush #kendall schmidt #carlos penavega #paralyzed #song #video #rusher #stop it forever #big time songs #good luck loverboy #do pretty girl don't speak

[kurokoros]

when you agree with someone’s point only to immediately see them trashing people who write character x oc 😞

#as someone who writes and reads both there's no need to pit two queens against each other #x reader has more flexibility by nature of the 'reader' not having a set appearance backstory or personality #at least for the most part #but x reader also comes with formatting annoyances like flipping between 2nd and 3rd person pov and the dreaded [y/n] #on the other hand x oc can often feel more intimate because there's a character with #a backstory and physical features #like with pov or tense. using reader vs oc is dependent on the story you're trying to tell #personally if i'm writing smut or fic with less/a goofier plot i'll use a reader insert #but if i'm writing something long or plot heavy I'll choose to write with an oc because I want the characters to feel grounded #writers stop trashing one format to prop up another maybe???

[wild-at-mind]

I finally bit the bullet and called the GP surgery about getting a gender identity referral this morning. The way it works at mine is you can't make advance appointments, you have to ring up on the day as soon as possible after they open. Essentially you are putting your order in with the receptionist for a callback with your GP later in the day. I've never waited as long as this before, it's now 4:40pm and I got my order in for the callback at 8:30. I told the receptionist what it was about so he knows what he's calling me back about. Either he's waiting till he has time and concentration to spare, or he just plain forgot. If it's the 2nd one I'm guessing I have to do the whole calling thing again tomorrow? :S

#genuinely i'm so stressed because i'm nervous about what i'll say to him #sweating all over the place and writing weird tumblr posts #this has been the part i dreaded the most for a while because i am worried i won't be believed of why i want to transition #i can't honestly say my body brings me terrible dysphoria- though i am probably more detached from it than i realise at the moment #i've settled on explaining how long i've been thinking about this and how i've been living as a man to those closest to me for a long time #the internet told me that counts even if the mainstream narrative is stuck on the wrong body thing #so :/ #just call me already pleeeeeeease

[fiepige]

CHAPTER 4!!!

Summary:

“HOLY SH-” Miles and Gwen simultaneously turned to cover Pav’s mouth so as to not alert the creature in the middle of the carnage below them. The creature either didn’t hear him or it was too preoccupied with whatever it was doing. To his regret Miles soon realized what that was, as another wet snapping noise broke the silence once more. The creature was crouched down on all fours over what Miles assumed was the body of an officer, though it was so mutilated that it was hard to tell for sure. Its head was buried into the chest of the body beneath it, another wet snapping noise emerging as it pulled out a couple of ribs between its bloodied jaws... Or The Spider-Gang goes looking for Hobie. They don’t like what they find.

Chapter 4 of my Venom!Hobie fic is here! 💜💜💜

#first time we get hobie's pov in this fic!!!! #Decided to split this chapter into two parts so this chapter is a bit short #but at least it's out sooner this way #I just felt like it fir the tone better to end this chapter here #honestly writing hobie is what I dreaded the most about this fic (after my grammar that is) #cause I've seen so many people complain about how people write him #but once again I'll only get better if I practice and get input if I did anything wrong so here goes nothing #I really dreaded editing this chapter but it went much smoother than I thought so I'm happy about that #I just wonder if I'm being too vague/not vague enough about how the symbiote is affecting his mind! #cause in my mind it's all perfectly clear but that doen't ensure it's clear in my writing lol #hopefully people will let me know if something doesn't make sense so I can elaborate on it <3 #it's once again way past midnight as I post this so I'm off to bed now lol #I'm so tired but I wanted to post this chapter today so here you are <3 #hobie brown #spider punk #Venom!Hobie #miles morales #spider man #gwen stacy #spider gwen #pavitr prabhakar #spider man india #across the spider verse #atsv #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #my fic #my post

[capillaryspice]

Top surgery finally happening tomorrow folks, wish me luck!

#the drains are my most dreaded part ngl #and I'm a side sleeper so this is gonna suuuck to recover from #but hey I get to sit at home with my partners for two weeks and vibe #so that'll be nice at least

[senadimell]

It’s been several weeks since I started watching Nosferatu, and I finally picked it up last night since I now have a knitting project suitably mindless that I can do without having to look at it and can watch the movie in peace. I’ve finished the third act, and I have to say, this is honestly really faithful to Dracula. Since it’s never been a secret that Nosferatu is heavily inspired by Dracula (read: an unauthorized adaption), I’m going to assign Dracula names to the roles characters play in the story rather than use their actual names most of the time.

The character combinations are interesting, but make a lot of sense given the large cast of characters in the book. I haven’t gotten far enough for most of the secondary characters to be a major presence, but I’ve read that they’re mostly absent, so the focus remains mostly on the Jonathan and Mina figures.

One of the biggest changes so far is that Mr. Hawkins and Renfield are combined into Knock, a now-malicious solicitor secretly in kahoots with the Count.

Narratively speaking, this actually makes a more of sense than it might sound at first. Mr. Hawkins is mostly a plot device in the original story, not really a character, and given the restraints of a silent film, it would be rather challenging to establish why and how the Count wants to visit England. When you strip down the conversations from the captivity portion of the novel, you’re left with the challenge of how to convey the Count’s desire or to establish how exactly he made arrangements with a foreign solicitor, so giving him an agent abroad is a pretty economical way to convey that. Then, when the Count is travelling, using Knock as a Renfield-figure and thrall of the Count serves to heighten the tension, and while the “the life is in the blood” speeches are a little less mysterious, they do pair very well with the back-and-forth between the not-Demeter and not-Van Helsing teaching a botany class about carnivorous plants. 

The major downside of that choice is that it removes much of the nuance present in the books regarding the characters under the Count’s sway. Renfield and Seward’s back and forth about the nature of sanity is so far completely absent, and I expect this will be the case through the movie, going off of the visual language’s cartoonishly malicious depiction of Knock. Renfield’s humanity is really just not shown, and while Knock’s gleeful manner while eating bugs is quite similar to Renfield’s manner in the book, I highly doubt the element of resistance will show up.

Still, overall, this feels like a simplification rather than a warping of the story. Unfortunately, it’s a simplification that results in a caricature of mental illness, and yet I don’t think it’s a fundamental misreading of the story, unlike Drac/Mina pairings.

The second major change so far is that Mina and Lucy’s role have been combined into one, and given their similar narrative roles as vulnerable and beloved targets, this makes a lot of sense. Now, the Mina-figure is the sleepwalker. There is a slight change in that the prophetic dreams start earlier, but it also serves to emphasize her connection with Jonathan without the letter and journal devices. It also establishes her vulnerability early on, pretty much as soon as we realize that Jonathan is in peril, which is an effective way to convey the peril of Lucy-Mina without diary entries and serves to jump-start the middle act of the story (which I admittedly found rather slow during Dracula Daily)

In a related vein, there’s another convenience change that’s either big or small depending on what you view as an important theme. In Dracula, the Count seems primarily interested in England, and his later vendetta is the result of his predatory nature, not the driving motivation. In Nosferatu, that’s flipped, and his primary motivation to leave his castle is to track down not-Mina. He presumably did first send for a solicitor, though, so the motivation isn’t absent, it’s just less developed.

Apart from character changes, the biggest other change is that the Count spreads plague rather than just killing or turning characters. So far, it doesn’t feel fundamentally different from the book, but I don’t know yet if it will have larger plot implications down the line.

I will say, though, that the time period is always waiting a little bit uncomfortably at the back of my mind. It came out in 1922, and there’s just so much going on in the Weimar Republic at this time. It’s a culturally wild time. I don’t know a lot about this film, or its make, or how it was received, so I’m just left with vague implications about the various changes and how they would be received. What does it suggest that he spreads a plague? What does his increased focus on preying on Mina mean? What are the implications of the fact that he has an apparently willing agent abroad, or that Renfield is only a slavish caricature, totally devoted to the count?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but they’re always looming somewhere as I watch.

#dracula daily #nosferatu #i initially was confused by why he was travelling by boat before realizing i'm conflating germany and the weimar republic #and forgetting about different territorial boundaries #then i also wondered whether or not the plague device diminished the effectiveness of the captain's sacrifice—why was he tying himself up? #i think i would not understand why he's doing it if i wasn't already familiar with dracula #still though i really loved those scenes #which i guess makes sense. the demeter passages were one of my favorite parts of Dracula Daily #however i will say that watching the captain and mate throw the corpse of their crewmate overboard was visually effective #in a way that i think the fearful journal entries would not have been able to translate directly to film #and i think one of the most impactful changes made by the chronological format (she says having only read it that way) #because for me the slow terrifying countdown was one of the most ominous parts of the book #because i was both concerned for the crew of the demeter but also worried about the main characters #if they survive and make it that's terrible; if they don't it's a tragedy #and since as a modern reader i already kind of know that dracula is a vampire and bad news #i don't think that the unravelling the mystery of the abandoned ship would have led to any real dread #i may not have known much about Dracula but as a modern reader i do know that the count's a vampire and that means bad news #(okay more accurate to say until her dream) #I have to say: epistolary to silent film might be one of the widest gulfs to jump (with maybe only ballet being further?) #because your ability to use words is very limited and an epistolary is all about the words #the thing they do have in common is the need to distill things down to their essence #because the conceit of the epistolary requires you to at least believe the characters are recounting what happened #so you can't get TOO detailed or verbose without an explanation for how their memory is so good or they don't get fatigued #and when they recount things they're really summarizing what happened. so they have to pick what matters most #and with a silent film you're trying to convey emotions without verbal/speaking people's primary form of communication #so body language is exaggerated and you are very limited in how much you can use words #and have to boil things down to their essentials

[emo-eyemakeup-evildude]

how the hell was it easier to give this asshole interesting character development in my high school AU where he’s just the fucking janitor who shows up sometimes to say cryptic shit than in his own fic where he gets to be the specialest little guy he was meant to be

it just doesn’t add up

I genuinely honestly believe it's because they gave us SO LITTLE canon information about him that it's just impossible to invent something that seems to organically actually Come From Him. it's all an illusion. all Things about him come from surrounding narrative. he's an absolute black hole of a character.

he's just Some Guy nintendo hired to stand around in scenes and go AHA YOU FOOLS and that's it that's the whole thing and they probably underpaid him because he did it so well he just defies all development all plot all fucking modern and traditional storytelling. even in the one scene he actually walks with his own two feet he literally has zero facial expression. in his one big scene his fucking legs go transparent from the effort of maintaining a very basic Badguy Speech™️

thank you for the inspiration tho because I will character development this asshole even if I have to fucking beat him to death to get there

#astor age of calamity #fucking get in the fic you stupid bastard #shoves you shoves you pushes you shoves you #I'm working on three wips rn that I want to post eventually #the one thats going best is the one where he just shows up every couple thousand words to be Mysterious and A Bitch #I dread when he actually becomes an active part of the story #my most successful moments with him across all of my fics are when we know nothing about him or when he's doing nothing #ultimate give us nothing king #allergic to specialest little guy syndrome

[boy-above]

i finally have a fucking answer after almost two months of phone calls and being dicked around left and right. i can keep seeing my psychiatrist without being forced to see a therapist 😭

#thank fucking God #i'm gonna need to see if i can still access other stuff like career counseling But the psychiatrist was def the most important part #thank fucking god i can finally rest no more phone calls no more dread and uncertainty #im going the FUCK to bed goodnight everyone (it's 10am)

[darlin-djarin]

not to bring this back up again but mandalorian season 3 was so fucking horrendous like actually it was the fucking worst. the writing was awful and i dread even THINKING about rewatching it again. truly one of the worst things i've watched and i really hope disney suffers for it more than they already are now.

#most disgusting thing i've ever watched. like actually. #hated it all. even the parts i DID like were low mid at best #a fucking shitshow of a season. truly #i could go on forever about how awful it was #so glad it's over and i truly hope that season 4 gets cancelled #star wars #the mandalorian #oil. #anyway sorry to bring this back up again i am just very sick and i was alone in my thoughts for a little too long #and bc i'm watching all of star wars in order i remembered that i'll have to rewatch the mandalorian soon #which has me DREADING bc i fr don't want to rewatch it #sigh. #i'll stop talking about it now sorry guys

[genderfluidgothwitch]

I have to leave for my shift in 15 minutes and even tho it's only gonna be 4.5 hours long I really don't wanna go

#I've been dreading the shift all day #it's definitely bc the shitty manager is gonna be closing most nights in the next two weeks #and tomorrow I have a feeling she's gonna try to make me cover a lunch when I literally cannot #my file boss is on vacation this week while she moves house (she just sold her old place and is moving to an interim apartment) #so it's just me and the other part timer #so we have to pick up the 'slack' (we're all great and efficient at our jobs but two part timers picking up the work of a full timer) #anyways if she tries to get me to cover the lunch I'm not gonna be able to bc I have not only my own tags but I have to do the signs #plus hbc and gos knows what else #I know Loren will be able to do a lot bc she has more file hours than me but it's still just the two of us #and Thursday is gonna be only her so I don't wanna leave her with a lot #I just don't wanna deal with the queen of the cunts