#that one's just a joke

[jupitermelichios]

my favourite sexuality for comic book characters to be is "we made this other character canonically queer because of their relationship with them but for some reason they are still canonically straight"

like wade wilson? mostly canonically queer because of the period where he was married to cable. he was in a queer relationship, so we have to just make him canonically queer. (Yes I know it's not the only reason, I have read all his extremely camp early 00s comics, but lets be real they'd have kept insisting that was all just a joke if it wasn't for Cable and Deadpool).

cable? definitely straight. 100% straight. obviously cable is straight. his relationship with wade is only gay during the & Deadpool, in the Cable part of the book it's very straight. He stands next to a woman sometimes, that's how you can tell it's not gay.

Kitty has, finally, been allowed to come out, but for like a decade, Illyana was canon queer because she dated Kitty, but Kitty was definitely straight and would never date a woman, and no one at marvel thought there was anything weird about that.

[Image Description: a very straight character, interacting with another straight character, in a very believably straight way]

Marvel has way more of these, mostly by virtue of having more queer characters and also chris clairmont (you can never understate the impact of chris clairmont in these matters) but Tim Drake and Kon Kent spring to mind from DC.

I think you could even make a solid argument that 616 Tony and Steve are that, given Tony is out now and Steve, somehow, still isn't.

anyway you don't really get these in any other medium, because they require multiple writers who all wildly disagree with one another to all write the same characters to happen, but i love them, and as much as I want Cable and Kon to come out, I kind of hope this never stops happening in comics, it's just never not funny.

#am i right in thinking one of boostle got to come out and not the other one recently? #i'm not that up on non bat dc stuff recently #anyway please leave your suggestions for other examples in the comments #and don't get mad about the ID #I did an actual ID as alt text #that one's just a joke #cablepool #kitty pryde #what's kitty and illyana's ship name? #i feel like i should know but i don't #timkon #616 stony #these are my favourite comics specific sexualities #and 'this character is just straight up queer but as long as we never say the words on panel no they aren't' is my second #your mystiques and your wolverines #and then finally #in the trifecta of terrible queer rep that i adore #you have 'this character is canonically straight but the fandom universally rejects that to the point of genuinely forgetting it's canon' #which is where gambit and roy harper live #gambit has never done anything that gay on panel that i know of #at least not by the standards of the x-men #he just has the strongest bi vibes you've ever seen #i genuinely forget he isn't bi 90% of the time

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims #senshi #Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity. #Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all. #Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure. #I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem - #I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time. #So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*. #I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much. #Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[spiribia]

once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away

#talks #its not about previously disliking vegetables. #I specified adult just because of the way my body started decomposing and rotting once i went meals without. #also i was just making a joke abt myself getting randomly more into vegetables one day. its really not the kind of one sentence post #that should justify weirdly accusatory assumptions

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things #full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes #because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner #'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon' #and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is #at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all #please tell me you know that #or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy #being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'

[o0kawaii0o]

ROMANCE DAWN TRIO

#I have been drawing more pre time skip stuff then actual recent stuff of OP #pre time skip really just had this dumb (but fun) energy #ah don't get me wrong tho OP is still very much a joy #in case you were actually wondering - yes sanji gave zoro that keychain as a joke but uwu #working on 1 more silly drawing atm! #one piece #op #roronoa zoro #op nami #luffy #monkey d luffy #o0kawaii0o

[angelsdean]

me whenever i see /pos and /hj: why are you calling me a piece of shit and what do handjobs have to do with any of this :/

#this is joke. light-hearted or /lh if you will #but fr there's GOT to be a better way to indicate these things. esp the /pos one #like i'd rather ppl just write out the whole word it's only a few more letters #vic.txt

[thelooniemoonie]

Hbomberguy right before obliterating James Somerton's career:

#the moon speaks #hbomberguy #james somerton #i hope no one made this joke yet i just got out of the shower visualizing it

[jvlianbashir]

"haha these alpha trad men really just have dom/sub kinks!" i know misogyny isn't real to a lot of you guys but did you know that some people just actually do genuinely think women are inferior creatures

#i dont normally make posts like this but ive seen MULTIPLE??? posts floating around that are meant as jokes saying #'haha *deeply misogynistic attitude/institution* is basically just kink! ;P' #and no one challenging it or if they do theyre seen as buzzkills or anti-sex/anti-kink #well im neither of those and i keep seeing it and its getting to me #not st #doctor's log

[queenburd]

in the span of hours tumblr has banned an out trans woman who was outspoken about her harrassment and the unfairness of the website's system and MULTIPLE out trans women who commented on the absurdity of the situation--has even banned them for posting pictures of hammers and cars.

if staff thought this was going to make the situation go away, all staff's gotten is a class action lawsuit. good job, hellsite "moderators." you showed your whole ass and you're going to go to court. again.

#im BITTER #im keeping my blog mostly free of it but you KNOW ive seen it and its just beyond a joke at this point how staff has acted. #and you know? theyre only banning the out trans women. ive seen that. the ones who arent out as trans women are untouched.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Edit: I see a ton of answers saying "torture porn" and some asking why I didn't add it. Torture porn isn't a subgenre of horror. Every single horror film that yall describe as torture porn falls into an actual subgenre (usually slasher/splatter or body horror, though there are exceptions). Torture porn was a term made to describe the rise in realistic brutality in horror in the early 2000s. If you don't like the brutality or gore in horror, that's fine. But that's not a subgenre. Every single one of these could be incredibly gorey and brutal, as well as can be the opposite of that. Torture porn is not a subgenre in itself

#my least fav is probably possession horror #there are some good ones (the exorcist for example) but for the most part im not a fan #horror #horror movies #polls #also if anyone votes for slashers; i will cry (/joke) #i just genuinely love slasher movies

[apollos-boyfriend]

i keep seeing people talk about dan and phil who are they???

#muse talk #phantoids #JOKE i just remembered this pic exists and feel the need to abuse it #i’ll rb with an actual explanation one sec

[captainjonnitkessler]

Do you guys notice how when Shawn Fain, president of the United Auto Workers union, started planning a general strike, he did it by a) targeting his messaging towards unions with the ability to safely and effectively strike in large numbers, b) laid out a clear, actionable plan for those unions to follow (setting contracts to all expire at the same time, since many unions cannot strike while under contract), c) is using union contracts to set clear, actionable demands that can be met in order to gauge success and provide an end goal, and d) started organizing FOUR YEARS before the proposed strike date to give people the chance to plan accordingly, because it takes a really freaking long time to get tens of millions of people organized?

You notice how he didn't do it by slapping a message on Twitter saying 'hey nobody go to work on Monday, that'll really show 'em'?

#those 'monday is a general strike stay home if you can!!!' posts are SO performative and they really annoy me #like. you MUST know you can't organize a general strike of tens of millions of people by sharing an infographic on twitter. Right? #don't even get me started on the most recent one that was like 'we understand the last strike only gave one day of notice' #'so this time we're giving you two! strike is on tuesday everyone don't forget!' #like GENUINELY was that supposed to be a joke #the linked article also touches on how difficult actual organizing a workplace is which is nice #because they mention previous failed attempts in which organizers basically just handed out leaflets #and assumed the benefits would be obvious. which i think is basically the equivalent of posting an infographic on twitter #which is to say - not effective at all. Organizing is a LOT of work! Running an effective union even more so! #labor rights

[forgrtashes-blog]

Barnaby got the blues

You guys have absolutely no idea how much I enjoy drawing silly things like this.

Anyway, yeah. I used the beta designs because I love them sm.

A little extra lol

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #frank frankly #sally starlet #fanart #puppet #70s #60s #art #sketch #funny #he just told a joke and no one laughed

[the-midnight-sugar1]

I don’t think he hears genuine laughter very often

#I love the idea that pomni laughs at one of his jokes #like a really stupid pun #and he wasn’t expecting her to laugh cause no one does #not even kaufmo could get laughs and HES A CLOWN #And he’s just mesmerized #when was the last time he heard someone laugh? like REALLY laugh? #idk but I think he’d want to hear her laugh again #tadc showtime #showtime ship #caine x pomni #showtime tadc #pomni x caine