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#that and mum struggling to not be with me for my bday bc i Know it's gonna come up tomorrow
izzy-b-hands · 8 months
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i need a new icon on here. The picrews I've used in the past aren't working and like. yes i have a recently taken selfie if i want it to Actually Look Like Me that's an option but also absolutely not (I'll post the selfie randomly like anyone else would thank u v much, ppl only need to see that Once, not on every post i reblog)
But no character pics feel right either. or cute animals. utter disaster over here, it is. twenty injured fourteen dead but somehow only three of us in the house at the time. but it was That Bad
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yyxgin · 3 years
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a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except i’m at work BOO 👎 and my two assistant managers have officially left (i’m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but he’s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so i’m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself 😭
also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isn’t false… but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but i’d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc i’m a libra this month i’ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so 🥺🙏🙏 i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.
did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc they’d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album 🥵🥵 the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc it’s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nct’s are all little books type things as well as txt’s but skz switched it up and there’s a fair bit of loose stuff? but it’s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (i’m gifted in pulling chan).
im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasn’t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said they’ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldn’t be so hopeful but at the same time it’s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway i’ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheart❣️ my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend 💉🩸
im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but i’m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently i’ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but i’m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyone’s gone to uni and i’m just chilling. i like my life.
i want to redecorate my room. i don’t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc it’s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but it’s literally just a door and it’s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. i’ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now i’m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe it’s bc i watched sex education and seeing lily’s room in the most recent season (i won’t say much more in case you are watching/haven’t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space you’ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.
i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always
~ 🌻
LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3
ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.
OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3
YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(
YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3
go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.
i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you
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reversecreek · 3 years
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clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 
* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )
HISTORY:
cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!
(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.
(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends
cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.
he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.
he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 
that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3
PERSONALITY:
SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares
once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken
probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google
nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it
struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken
ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter
probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....
loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone
ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely
WANTED CONNECTIONS
someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer
ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster
neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....
sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.
let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)
those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......
um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......
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srlkiller · 3 years
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i made so much progress today and im proud of myself. i have no support system. it’s just me.. like it’s always been in my life and tbh maybe that’s a good thing. maybe that’s really all i need to be able to do this shit. i think i can do this. i have to do this for myself. i have to accept that the people who are supposed to love, care, support and protect me are just never going to do that.. they are over 60 now.. they aren’t going to change. i need to learn acceptance. i have struggled w that so hard over like 6 years.. ive tried really hard in all different ways to make things work.. bond with my mother.. ask her to teach me simple life tasks.. just watch a movie with her. She wants no parts of anything and she doesn’t want to spend any time with me.. it’s time to accept that and get on with things by myself. i know exactly who i am, i know what i like, i have short term goals and long term goals, i know what i want for myself in the near future.. and then from there i can develop and fucking spread my wings without any restraints. there’s alot i have to do & on purpose, my mom has made it so that i can’t actually do those things.. her reasoning for it constantly changes. i need to really brainstorm a way around it because she always finds a way to block any and everything that is important like im talking doctor’s appointments ect.. i don’t go out, I don’t do anything.. i only ever go to my appointments for health reasons, the chemist or i ask to go to Woolworths to buy food for myself bc she doesn’t buy any food so most days i don’t eat anything bc there’s no food in the house.. i use Uber eats when i can but she takes all my money out of my bank account so that the Uber eats won’t go through…… are you seeing how malicious and spiteful this woman is? Ive never done anything wrong.. i was a good kid, I never snuck out, I never lied to her about where I was going.. Like..? She does all of this to maintain control over me while at the same time yelling at me saying YOU NEED TO MOVE THE FUCK OUT ect. Well shit maybe I could and would if you didn’t take all my money out of my account periodically for years and years, crash my car and take the money from RACQ and put it into a seperate account in your name that i can’t access despite the fact it is my money.. from my car.. that was my 21st bday present.. that u crashed.. but no I can’t have it bc apparently I have a ‘debt’ to her from buying vape pods and a shirt in 2018? the money taken out of my account periodically from then till now would have covered that times like 100. she is fucking ridiculous. she has also taken the money that was left to me by my nan in her will.. no idea how much it is.. no idea where it is. i didn’t even know it had been distributed to the grandkids until i read my mums group texts :))) it must be a substantial amount bc my cousin used it to pay off her hex bill from uni.. that shit is like $20-30k. So yeah bitch i could definitely move the fuck out right now if you would give me what im entitled too. im calling legal aid tomorrow and I’m going to have to exit my house to do it bc I caught her behind the closed door when i was telling the assessment ppl about what she’s done.. she was ease-dropping.. ear to the door. i pushed the door and felt her weight against it and she pretended she was cleaning the door.. she is so unstable, controlling and disgustingly manipulative that it makes me so disappointed that this is who i have as a mother… my dad was like.. this is actually ducking tragic. how did your life turn into this.. how did SHE turn into this.. i was like dad she’s always been this way. if he only knew the shit she used to say about him when i was younger.. wow.
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ncityzen · 3 years
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top 5 childhood snacks maybe ? I was just thinking of these crisps I used to have as a kid 😭 they're always so difficult to find here
Ohhhh I love this concept!!! The first two are an international experience, but I tried making the others things that (i think) you can't find outside the country and that were and still are super popular and well-liked by people that aren't me too shdjs
1. Just your good old nutella sandwich....back at home we have nutella and nocilla (another brand of chocolate hazelnut spread) and it's like a huuuge thing whether you're team nutella or nocilla (nutella's just objectively better). I remember there being these sandwiches at literally every bday party, and just in general as a snack after school
2. Kinder bueno: no pic bc this is not country-exclusive and everyone knows what they look like. I didn't have them often bc my mum's always made us eat very healthy and Mediterranean diet and all that, but when I could have them. I enjoyed them. A lot.
3. Sugus: a classic. They come in different flavours and everyone agrees that the blue one is the best (it's pineapple. no idea why it's blue). They're chewy sweets, and tbh they're very similar in taste to maoams I think????
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4. Filipinos (the white chocolate ones): I've never even been a huge white chocolate lover, but everyone with a brain knows these ones are better than the plain original ones, and I remember them being so popular they were like the original 2.0 tbh
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5. These peanuts with honey!! Honestly just now it's dawned on me that other countries don't have them bc they're just so popular at home. They don't really taste like honey tbh, they get their flavour mostly from the powder that covers them which I guess is honey-like and salt I don't even know. When I was little and struggled while eating grapes for the new year's countdown, I ate 12 of these peanuts instead shdjs my brother and my bff also did that!
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lesbiantahani · 4 years
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i wasnt expecting anything from my mum for my 21st bc she struggles for money and on my actual bday she felt so bad bc she didnt get me anything but she KNOWS im so okay with not getting presents from her bc she makes me breakfast the morning of it and thats all i want bc we get spend time together. and YET she just came back from her trip to my aunties in sydney w gold sleeper earrings (like...9 karrot gold) and i legit cried she saved up all this money over months that she could use on herself or her life yet spends it on me a mothers love is selfless and i am crying. 
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apocalypto12related · 7 years
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Do all of them!
1: is there a boy/girl in your life?
Ye! Sammy! @deziac
2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
Um... My family, probably, and no.
3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
Kitty! I love kitties!
4: what’s something you really want right now?
an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???
5: are you afraid of falling in love?
Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo
6: do you like the beach?
so/so. depends on my mood.
7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.
8: what’s the background on your cell?
my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.
9: name the last four beds you were sat on?
what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)
10: do you like your phone?
i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo
11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?
prolly not, but when do they?
12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
sammy! bc we both got new phhones!
13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/
14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!
15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!
16: are you tired?
im always tired!!!
17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?
um... well it’s sammy
so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)
18: are they a relative?
no!!
19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao
20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!
21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!
22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
of course!! :P
23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(
24: is there a certain quote you live by?
not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.
25: what’s on your mind?
music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.
26: do you have any tattoos?
yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.
27: what is your favorite color?
#00C5FF
28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
prolly tonight. owo
29: who are you texting?
Sammy owo
30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
probably?? lol what.
31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?
32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup
33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?
I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.
34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//
35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.
36: were you single on valentines day?
November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.
37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?
... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.
38: what do your friends call you?
Kiki :D
39: has anyone upset you in the last week?
lil bit.
40: have you ever cried over a text?
Um... probably. I can’t remember.
41: where’s your last bruise located?
omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!
42: what is it from?
Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.
43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.
44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?
Sammy owo
45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
Nah.
46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
No.my hair style is like 99% bun.
47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?
i dont follow trends i set them.
48: do you make supper for your family?
not recently but i would for sammy and i usually
49: does your bedroom have a door?
i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e
50: top 3 web-pages?
tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)
51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?
Sammy. xD at least food shopping.
52: does anything on your body hurt?
Abdomen. (:
53: are goodbyes hard for you?
it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)
54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
prolly water owo
55: how is your hair?
it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!
56: what do you usually do first in the morning?
it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.
57: do you think two people can last forever?
sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.
58: think back to january 2007, were you single?
ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.
59: green or purple grapes?
i don’t eat grapes .w.;;
60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?
sometime in the future! prolly sammy!
61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!
62: when will be the next time you text someone?
possibly today
63: where will you be 5 hours from now?
lying in bed. :D
64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.
struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)
65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?
oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)
66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
sammy!!
67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?
um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;
68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone
69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
yeah,but at least i tried.
70: how many windows are open on your computer?
it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)
71: how many fingers do you have?
i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.
72: what is your ringtone?
default at the moment!
73: how old will you be in 5 months?
oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december
74: where is your mum right now?
She passed away. :/
75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.
76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.
77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.
78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?
79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?
personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.
80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.
81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?
e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity. 
82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
no bc shelter e.e
83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?
:P i talk to them everyday.
84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’
85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?
i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!
86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P
87: who was your last received call from?
.3.; sammy
88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;
89: what is something you wish you had more of?
money. clothes maybe
90: have you ever trusted someone too much?
yeah. lmao.
91: do you sleep with your window open?
i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!
92: do you get along with girls?
ye!
93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
no. owo
94: does sex mean love?
no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship! 
95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
>3>;;; again, no.
96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD
97: did you sleep alone this week?
not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.
98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
yes. >3>
99: do you believe in love at first sight?
no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:
100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?
OwO Sammy I think.
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lifeiszestyy · 6 years
Text
*10/29/2018
*woke up around... 12 or 1pm?? i had a hard time sleeping the night before, like i was sleeping on and off and i remember going to sleep at like 9am rip
*i heard my parents leave and assumed dad was taking mom out on a bday date bc it’s me mum’s birthday. i showered and went to shopko to buy a card. the cashier, a young man, complimented my bag!! and it made me happy, since i’m still worried about being in public by myself
*played sims until my parents got home and we went to a nearby chinese restaurant!! i had Way Too Much Tea and i’ve needed the bathroom constantly every 20 minutes since we came home. even now.... i’m restraining myself bc i’m tired. of going. to the wc
*oof listening to matt mercer talk about mental illness symptoms was rough, but, similar to listening to marisha talk about difficult issues, it’s empowering to know that other people feel the same way, like there are people who Know what it’s like to be fucked up by the depression demon that whispers hot bullshit into your ear about worthlessness and shit like that. and it’s a struggle that people think you’re making yourself sad on purpose or some shit and it’s like lmao you really think i want to do this to myself? you think i enjoyed losing two years worth of memories and character development?? like????
*in this house we love and appreciate matthew mercer. i remember hearing him on thundercats in 2011 and thinking he had The Hottest Voice and when he played both cheom and alvin two years later, i was like... holy shit. i hope this guy gets more and more roles. i met him at sakuracon in 2015 and i gave him a picture that i drew of him with alvin, and he seemed delighted bc iirc alvin is important to him as an acting role that he cares about. and he! asked me! if i wanted a hug!! and i was over the moon!!!
*anyway i’m going to sleep early bc i sure did not sleep last night
*11:59pm
<:3c
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