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#that SPOCK of all people would cheat on a romantic partner??
gremlines · 11 months
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heard that spock is apparently A CHEATER in the most recent episode of snw???????? sch'n t'gai "your place is among the stars and mine is by your side" spock????? spock who BETRAYS KIRK OUT OF LOYALTY TO PIKE????? THAT SPOCK??? UNFAITHFUL IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP????
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victimsofyaoipoll · 11 months
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Round 1
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Propaganda Under Cut
Nyota Uhara
She's Spock's canon partner in AOS, and I get it because they're not a great couple, but she gets villianized in fic so much. They constantly make her an asshole (which totally has nothing to do with her being black /sarcasm) and abusive just for the crime of dating a man headcanoned as gay. And I mean, I think Spock is gay and her being a love interest was unnecessary but still! She's cool!
Oh my god so in the Star Trek reboot she’s Spock’s girlfriend and the fandom has no idea what to do with her??? Like she is ALWAYS either such a bitch or like the mom friend? And there is so much more to her character than that? But they always break down her character AND find a quick and easy way to break up her and Spock. I’m not even mad at that but at least treat their relationship with some weight instead of just being like ‘it never mattered’. People can love multiple people throughout the course of their lives. You know that right? Just because you loved someone before doesn’t make your new love any less special. And even headcanoning Spock as gay… you realize he doesn’t need to be attracted to Uhura for their relationship to have mattered, right? Even if he confused friendship for romantic attraction, him feeling such strong friendship and openly expressing it is so monumental for him!!! 
she's dating Spock, who people ship with Kirk, so fans have decided that it's horrible writing and "really, they're just defending her, the movies turned her into just a love interests," which is not at all true. The movies do so much more for her to the point that the fans who have only seen the movies think that the main characters are Kirk, Spock, and Uhura instead of the Kirk, Spock, McCoy of the original series. Also having a black women being shown as being desired and loved in mainstream media, particularly by one of the most popular characters of all time, is a good thing, not making her "just a love interest"
Keiko O'Brien
Certain People I Could Name insist on shipping her husband with the annoying twink doctor Julian Bashir because of the friendship they develop over the series. I maintain that O'Brien would never cheat on his wife, let alone with another man, and the response is often "they're in a polycule together!!!" which is even more out of character. Everyone please show my girl Keiko some more respect 😤
Wife of chief engineer Miles O'Brien, who is shipped with the chief medical officer, Julian Bashir. Show itself veered into misogyny regarding her and her marriage, manifesting as Miles constantly complaining about her and her encouraging him to go hang out with Julian and leave her and their daughter alone. Fandom responded to this by creating the "O'Brien polycule" including Keiko, Miles, Julian, and first officer Kira Nerys (who has another strange semi-romantic subplot with both O'Briens). Really, though, it just exists to have Julian/Miles without reckoning with Miles having to cheat to get there. I, too, was guilty of this in the past. Keiko had the potential to be a very interesting character (and started to be, early in the show) but it was never realized. She deserved better :(
keiko is a lovely lady and astrobotanist who had a whole romance with and married the more main character miles obrien but now frequently people sideline her to (semi-jokingly?) ship miles with his friend julian. she’s not the best written character and she deserved so much more from the narrative, but it still feels weird that the fan joke about her is always how much she is constantly encouraging her husband to cheat on her (which to be fair does happen a few times but not That much)
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Rewatching DS9 and VOY has just made me want to do episode rewrites but with the TOS crew. So what about Voyager s2 e25 Resolutions but with TOS mckirk or AOS spones. This is a kinda long post and just my random thoughts so heres a keep reading
So Jim and Bones are stuck on a planet while infected with some virus that doesn't effect them while on the surface. And the Enterprise then has to leave because of some reason. So Spock is left in charge like Tuvok was and has to deal with the fact that the Captain and CMO have been left behind and with the growing resentment towards him even though Kirk ordered them to leave.
Also like the idea of Bones being busy researching how to cure them while Jim quickly grows to enjoy the easy living and maybe for once in his life the ship isn't a burden on him. While bones is losing his mind because being stuck on a planet with nothing but researching this one cure is like Bones' worse nightmare. (like i know most people would think Bones would be like Chakotay but its my episode rewrite and i can do what i want). Also the idea of Jim wanting to build them a log cabin extension is very fun. Also since neither of them have any romantic attachments they actually do something about the romantic tension and then have to deal with that when they get back on the ship.
Though I'm not sure if they would have to ask for help from some enemy or Bones would just figure out a cure. Maybe Bones finds a cure and then isn't sure what to do since Jim seems so happy and he doesn't want to ruin that or maybe he thinks if they go back to the ship Jim will just pretend what happened on the planet didn't. And then a day later the ship comes back with a cure and he has to deal with the fact that he didn't instantly tell Jim about it. And of course Jim finds out and hes conflicted because he wants to be angry at Bones for not telling him right away but hes also angry that the cure was found at all so its a whole mess.
Or if it was AOS it would be Bones and Spock who are left behind mainly so it would mirror the fact that Janeway has a partner back home so spones just have awkward weird romantic tension. (not sure if this would have mckirk as well or just spuhura) Though in this version nothing would actually happen on the planet cos no cheating thanks, also not enough time would have past where they actually think theres no going back. Not sure either Spock or Bones would be like Chakotay, they'd both be super focused on finding a cure. They would also have to deal with this fallout on the ship but it would be in a very different way than TOS mckirk. Maybe if theres no mckirk it would end up with mccoy/spock/uhura in some configuration. Though if mckirk was already a couple it would stay the two different couples. lmao or maybe mckirk comes out of it since jim realised how much he actually missed Bones. i dont know this is post is turning into a mess
So its Jim and Nyota who have to deal with leaving the people they care most about behind. As i think there would be less resentment from the crew to deal with. I'm sure the med crew would miss their boss but they would have less power to make a fuss about it.
But theres still the fact that they're not as far away from starfleet as Voyager was and why the ship would leave but like why should that stop me?
I mean it could also just be AOS mckirk on the planet but for some reason i'm more drawn to the TOS version in this instance
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cptdorkery · 6 years
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TOS tag game (part two)
Alright, let’s continue. Yesterday I answered the questions from @thebreakfastgenie in part one of this tag game, and today I am going to dive into those posed by @burning--amber (who by the way writes some amazing pieces about Spirk).
1. If you were to direct a Star Trek TOS episode, using the TOS formula of exploring a current world controversial issue using aliens but not making it grim or dark, what issue would you pick to explore and what would your story line be?
An ethnic subgroup of aliens are oppressed and discriminated against by the majority, superficially because of terrorist actions of some fanatical members of the subgroup. Although the vast majority of this group simply wants to be left alone to live their lives in peace, and to contribute to society in meaningful ways, they are constantly harassed. 
The Enterprise receives a distress call from the planet - no explanation given.  All the highest-ranking crew members beam down, along with two redshirts, and as they search for the seat of government a nearby building blows up. Kirk’s shirt is ripped, and one security guard buys the farm and the other is injured. 
Local bigwigs finally show up and announce they will find the culprits, and they promptly arrest a group of - you guessed it - that despised subgroup. Kirk thanks the officials, not knowing the backstory of the planet, but before they can beam back to the ship they are all kidnapped. This time it really is the ethnic subgroup that does it, but what they really want is a chance to explain their plight to someone who might actually listen.
Blah blah blah, Kirk escapes, blah blah blah, smoldering looks are exchanged between Kirk and his first officer, blah blah blah, Kirk believes his kidnappers and gives a speech about the rights of all peoples. Also something was invented in Russia and Scotty fixes something faster than he said was possible.
No explanation is ever given for the initial distress call. 
The end.
2. Which are your top 5 fav TOS blogs here?
Nope, sorry. Not answering that one. There are many fantastic Tumblr blogs with all kinds of Star Trek content, and I don’t want to risk insulting some truly great blogs by leaving them off my list. And I do mean great - it’s the reason I spend way more time here than I should.
As much as I would like to make five people happy, I don’t want to leave many more feeling unappreciated (assuming that many people read past my first horrible answer to begin with).
3. Vulcans ideals are summarized by a single phrase - IDIC. If you were to represent humankind, in 23rd century, to another alien race, what would be a single phrase you would summarize humanity with? The elevator pitch for our race?:)
Holy crap. You don’t believe in easy questions, do you? Ok, let’s see...
This is a cheat, but I am going to use the words of a Vulcan to explain humanity. Ambassador Soval said humans have the arrogance of Andorians, the stubborn pride of Tellariates, are as driven by emotions as Klingons one moment, and the next suddenly embrace logic  (his words were passed on by Archer and are studied at the Academy). So HHTAOATSPOTAADBEAKOMATNSEL. Good luck with that.
4. Did TOS impact you in your real life in a tangible way? Any stories you want to share?
I was raised on TOS and TNG. Some of my earliest memories are sitting on my dad’s lap on lazy Sunday afternoons watching Kirk and Spock. Other than family bonding time, probably the most tangible result of being a Trekkie was when for a short while in kindergarten I tried to deal with non-happy emotions by ignoring them and setting them aside, because I thought that’s what Spock would do. That didn’t last too long. 
I’m sure Star Trek opened my mind to new ideas and other cultures, and has indirectly influenced me in many other ways, but it’s hard to point a finger at exactly where and how.
5. How would you deal with if your soulmate happened to be someone whose lifespan is twice as much yours? When you are middle-aged, they are teens essentially (not chronological age-wise, but it’s how Spirk is)?
In this situation I don’t think I would be jealous that my partner is growing old at such a slower rate than me, instead I would be broken-hearted by the thought that I would be abandoning them with so much of their life left to live. It would be much harder on the longer-lived partner. On my end I would live and love to the best of my ability and make every day count, leaving behind as many good memories as possible, and making sure my partner knows that they were loved completely.
I actually had this conversation with a mutual the other day. Spock had to be absolutely devastated when Kirk died. Well, vanished into the Nexus, but he might as well have been dead. Whether you ship Spirk as romantic love or not, Spock loved Jim, and I hope, through all the years he had after Jim was gone, that Spock knew how much Jim loved him.
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Those were some awesome questions, @burning--amber. Mine will not be nearly as thought-provoking.
Five TOS-related questions:
1) What is your favorite horrible prop/costume/set design.
2) If you could have dinner with any one member of the Enterprise, with the exceptions of Spock, Jim, or Bones, who would it be?
3) What period of Earth’s history would you have liked to see the crew time travel to?
4) Please give an universe-plausible reason (no breaking the fourth wall) for Jim’s shirts being made with the durability of tissue paper.
5) Which episode would you recommend first for a non-Trekkie who is interested in watching the show? Or which episode would you not let them anywhere near?
I have no idea who would like to answer these, so I’m tagging some of the people who have made it recently onto my “biggest fans” list: @lookthatway, @sadlittlehummingbird-blog , @pfannkuchendammerung , @pointy-eared-hobgoblins , and @datainthetardis. No obligation is implied. And anyone else is of course free to jump in.
I would like to again thank the two blogs that tagged me. I very much enjoyed making these posts. In fact, I’m tagging you back. I don’t know if that’s allowed, but I am ruling that it is. If you would care to, @thebreakfastgenie and @burning--amber, I would love your answers to these questions as well.
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supergirlmelbenoist · 6 years
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SUPERGIRL MELISSA BENOIST IS OUT OF THIS WORLD
She sits alone in a bistro in West Hollywood, discreetly staring at a few other busy tables. Maybe someone says she respectfully does not look like Supergirl now? TV superhero, Supergirl, wears a cheerleader style skirt, a miraculously elastic fabric top, and often lipstick; Benoist, who will make 30 years this year, presents in a differentiated way, light makeup in a modest blouse and jeans - next doctorate in style. Just a few days ago, she finished recording the third season of the much-loved and youthful series that has been home to The CW since it changed in the second season of CBS's premier series series.
An apology is given for being a bit late because of Uber. But Benoist, putting aside her pencil, is gracious: "I came here alone."
It is a phrase that could have come from his character Kara Zor-El, describing his rival on our planet. For the duration of the Superfamily myths back to the invention of Superman comics in 1934 - and finally, his cousin Supergirl in 1959 - the clan exhibits various powers that, with interference from green and red Kryptonite, are used to ensure the truth, justice, and American way.
"If someone throws something at me, we have to cheat and pretend I got it, because I can not get it!"
The pilot episode of the 2015 series features Kara at the age of 13 being cast catastrophically from her home exploding on the planet Krypton and being raised in an obscure peace as Kara Danvers. Adulthood brings her to National City where she adopts her growing identity as superhero Kara Zor-El- the closest move to an old TV school, a loyal superhero who was Lynda Carter in the '70s in Wonder Woman.
Not that Supergirl / Kara is the first character of Benoist to make a significant transformation. Prior to joining Supergirl, Benoist starred in 2012 to 2014 as a new face, a specialist in singing and dancing as Marley Rose on Glee. Both series (Glee ended in 2015) showed the semblance of a young, charming and highly attractive (including villains); Benoist easily occupied each of her roles, filling in similar bows as she arrived as a naive one that gradually surprised the audience by showing that she can handle difficult tasks with resourcefulness and moral certainty stays. With Supergirl maturing as a heroine - and herself as an actress - Benoist transformed an initially naive and uncertain Kara into an incredible destructor-powerful, who not only expanded her superpowers but also became somber, a dark person in the character disillusioned with her career and the romantic difficulties that pulled her through deep waters.
The plot may be of obscure thoughts, but Benoist also has to swim upstream in her acting, given what she describes as an attribute to the Spock way embodied by the natives of Krypton. "What I find most interesting about interpreting Kryptonians," she says, "is that they are so absolutely clean. Whether it's Clark Kent or Kara Danvers, they're so all-American that sometimes you want their morale to tear yourself up a bit, for them to have a dilemma. "
For physical empowerment and athleticism, Supergirl shows while dragging thieves often around the wreck.
During the sets of the series, Benoist quickly argues. "Oh! I still can not get a ball to save my life, "she says, laughing. "On the set, if someone throws something at me, we have to cheat and pretend I got it, because I can not get it!"
By the time, anyway, Los Angeles does not seem to be on fire, and it's time to order lunch. Benoist had not only accepted her restaurant partner's offer to split fries - "I do not know a single person who would not eat fries if they were on the table," she opines, "it increases saturated fat by adding bacon-wrapped dates to share . She also offers a fluffy crossword puzzle: "Monday is the easiest."
Our congratulatory toast is for new ventures, just this morning we came to announce that Benoist will make a two-month call on Broadway (during his TV break) as Carole King in Beautiful. Much of what goes on in the show is geared toward King's life in exceptional piano compositions, so Benoist's starring cut as Terpsicor as seen on Glee will be sporadic. But the time and camera lens that does not seem to be exhausted from having it repeated and sentimentally proves that it takes the audience into a proposal of lyrics or powers amid a pop anthem like "Wrecking Ball."
In another year of hiatus, maybe it was the role of a movie that attracted her. Out of the hands of the films she has made in the last decade, two specials emerge as being remarkably effective with the exception of their brevity. In Damien Chazelle's film in 2014, Whipash, she was cruelly left behind by the battery-obsessed character Miles Teller, and as the pain socializes with the challenge, she spits out exactly what viewers are asking, "Who ... is wrong with you?" When asked about this speech, after a brief pause, Benoist says, "That was triumphant for her. I saw it that way. "His best moment two years ago in Peter Berg's Patriots Day also occurs across a table, in an even fiercer, yet still almost whispering scene, such as Katherine Russell, the wife of the newly murdered in the Boston Marathon by terrorist Tamerlan Tsarnaev. Locked up by an iron fbi interrogator also in hijab, Russell is frankly and devoutly converted Muslim who may be an accomplice in the bombing, America's most hated woman at that moment, and possibly aware of the second pumper's whereabouts. Against the investigation, played by the formidable Khandi Alexander, Benoist's new widow is a figure with a lethal contemplation that reveals zero but total insult, "He will kiss me again when he sees me in the sky." Bonnist auditioned for Patriots Day as a of the victims. But when she was once again called to the cleverest and Russell's key role, she quickly accepted, taking inspiration from Oscar winner Jame Judi Dench for eight minutes on Shakespeare in Love: "She's the prime example." day-to-day access my emotions and brings them to the forefront. "Ben has played in the tabulareiro since he was a small child. Julie's daughter and Jim Benoist grew up in Littleton, Colorado, outside Denver, and moved to New York to attend Marymount Manhattan College. She lived on the cheap and saw a more somber reality. "I really feel - at the risk of being extremely serious - like I found myself in New York," she says. "Just because you're not happy does not mean you're not inspired, fulfilled or stimulated." After playing a role as a schoolgirl in Aaron Woodley's Tennessee film in 2008, she told an interviewer on the red carpet at the premiere of Tribeca Film Festival, "I was screaming a lot and I was very happy." She graduated in 2011 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in theater and arts and some stage roles for her credit, but soon auditioned for Glee - and the rest is a show business ascending step by step. As a three-year-old Benoist says who had a natural curve because of the emotional state he had to fight, which the Glee staff ensured bravado. "Middle-aged kids are typically drama queens because they do not get a definite kind of attention from their parents," says Benoist. "They are not the first children and they are not the golden children, and they are not the babies so they are not spoiled. It's like we're in limbo. "Benenoist has used this energy for many roles, making" chipper "as a clerk confused by the maturing of rock star Al Pacino in 2015, Danny Collins, becoming a well-known hipster in Lowriders, the empathy she can find to express Waco's account of Rachel Koresh, the wife of worship leader David Koresh. These days, Benoist is up with the challenge of being number one on Supergirl's daily call sheet, but is to share the credits. David Harewood - which the character, Hank, has been severely authoritarian with her lately - definitely his creative engine. She mentions her character Othello (he played the unfortunate Moor of Shakespeare years ago) because "I think it encapsulates many things, because - first and foremost, I think David is a brilliant actor. He was the first black man in England to play Othello on stage at the Royal National Theater. "In a dramatically rigorous term, Supergirl has the benefit of a preparation in which Terran people and aliens take turns ahead, kindly complicated, both loving interest and friendship . Accessing Kara's love interest, Mon-El (Chris Wood), she finds Shakespeare relevant again: "They also have this thing that they were a passionate couple of two opposing houses because he was from Daxam- which I presume you could relate to Romeo, Julieta's Montenegrin - and she was a captive in Krypton. I think it's also different, because of the responsibilities they shared by having those abilities and powers. Another thing I admire that we explore is how a woman - a powerful woman - navigates between love and relationships. It is not always beautiful. "" It is a life experience - experiencing tragedies, which we all go through, through loving disillusionment and joy and fear and love, and open to all of this. "Bonist felt entitled to have influence on the statements of your character and responsibilities with the scripts you were given. "Yes, it passed through my hands," the actress says."But the fact that matters is, I have to get up and go do it. I have to feel right about this as a woman experiencing this. There are moments too, in which I thought, "I think that's what we're describing, and I do not think it's right for young girls to see that ..." - being about relationships or feeling empowered or how you treat other people . I have some power, for some reason, a margin to control what the conversation is. "Last season, we saw a reduction in Kara's interaction with her older sister, Alex, played by Chyler Leigh, but what goes on is an intimacy that is of brotherhood, on camera and out of it. "Chyler is very maternal, and she's very welcoming, and she cares enough about what she says on paper because she has daughters," Benoist says. "We all, especially the women in the series, feel very special about being a part of it, and every day we talk about what we're talking about to young girls and what we're teaching them. Sometimes we get it wrong, sometimes we feel really good about it and proud. So Chyler is like a partner in it. "Kara's birthright as a Krypton refugee are scanty factors, she adds, as she can continue her superheroic work to protect her foster family from the Terran planet with all her heart. "What's fascinating to me about it, and I hope we can explore a little more of it next season, it's nature versus education. Would her Kryptonian side push her to have the same values ​​and the same consciousness and the same need to help people and save them, or would she be influenced and different in the way she tackles all this? "In early August, Benoist comes back for other long months of recording in the sounds and occasionally outdoor studios of Vancouver, British Columbia, a city she came to love- and back to immersing herself in the battles and successes of a life of twins like Kara Danvers and the growing the dominant person of Kara Zor-El. "My day-to-day life accesses my emotions and brings them to the forefront," she says. "While everyone in this country, for the most part, pushes them down. Especially when it comes to women's issues, because the conversation is very important now, which makes me very happy. "While giving the crossword open a fold and puts it in the bag - which occupies along with a collection of essays by David Foster Wallace - it adds up to how much work and life are welcome to socialize to go forward. "It is life experience-experiencing tragedies, which we all experience, such as loving disillusionment and joy and fear and love, and being open to all of it. And be ready to face what the world will play for you, because the world throws burnt balls at all of us. I understand things now, almost 30 years old, that I did not understand with 21- what is a Captain Obvious thing to say, but I love telling stories that are finite and that contains messages rooted and that you can find out by itself. Whether it's on stage, on TV, show, or on film, it's where I want to be "
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Bonding
Jim is concerned that he and Spock Prime are bonded, because of the meld they engaged in when they first met. Spock helps to assuage that concern. 
Stranger: Can I ask you something kinda personal about Vulcan culture? JK
You: You may ask. S
Stranger: So I just learned Vulcans kiss with their hands. What does it mean when a Vulcan touches your face? JK
You: It... depends. As I assume you are attempting to follow a "romantic" vein, a Vulcan may touch specific points on the face of their mate or intended mate in order to meld with them, or to create or cement a bond. S
Stranger: Ah. Okay. And that's pretty much the only reason? JK
You: Yes. S Do you have a reason for this line of question, Captain? S
Stranger: Well it's just. JK
Stranger: Am I married to the other you? To Ambassador Salek? JK
You: [delay] I do not know, in certainty, the relationship that my counterpart and yours had together. S That is not to say that I have not made assumptions based on what he has allowed himself to say, or that I have... admittedly, drawn the same conclusion. S It is very likely that our counterparts were bonded. S
Stranger: So I am married to him? Am I married to you too? JK
You: You are not. Your counterpart was, in all likelihood, although I doubt the Ambassador would give either of us a straightforward answer on the subject. S
Stranger: So when we melded that wasn't a wedding? Or an engagement? JK
Stranger: Am I supposed to be his lover? JK
You: You melded with my counterpart? S
Stranger: Uh. Yeah. Does that change the answer? JK
You: It does not. I was merely unaware that it had occurred. S I do not believe my counterpart would take advantage of you in such a way. What were the circumstances when he melded with you? S
Stranger: I was running from a monster and he saved me and he said we were friends and showed me about Nero. There was a lot of 'emotional transferrance' I think he called it. JK
You: I see. S Emotional transferrance merely refers to the passage of emotion from one mind to another during a meld. It does not mean that you are "engaged." S It is more likely that you would have felt strongly about whatever he was feeling at the time. A preliminary bond or a true bond is not formed, under most circumstances, unless both parties are aware and/or amicable to the bond being formed. S
Stranger: Spock? JK
You: Yes? S
Stranger: I was running from a monster and he saved me and he said we were friends and showed me about Nero. There was a lot of 'emotional transferrance' I think he called it. JK
You: I see. S Emotional transferrance merely refers to the passage of emotion from one mind to another during a meld. It does not mean that you are "engaged." S It is more likely that you would have felt strongly about whatever he was feeling at the time. A preliminary bond or a true bond is not formed, under most circumstances, unless both parties are aware and/or amicable to the bond being formed. S
Stranger: Oh. Okay. So I haven't been neglecting my fiancé or something? JK
You: You have not. S
Stranger: Oh thank goodness. I was so worried. JK
Stranger: Thanks, Spock. You're the best. JK
You: You are welcome, Captain. I apologise on behalf of my counterpart, as well. S
Stranger: Oh it's fine, there's no need. I just didn't want to lead him on or anything. JK
You: Regardless, he should have taken the time to explain that you had no need to be concerned. S
Stranger: I didn't think about it until just the other day and it's kinda been a lot to think about over the last few weeks. JK
You: That is understandable. S
Stranger: Thank you for talking to me about all this. I know this was probably pretty personal and it means a lot I can come to you with this. JK
You: I do not mind discussing it with you. S You are my friend. I am... comfortable speaking with you. S
Stranger: I like that a lot. Us being friends and being comfortable with each other. It's nice. JK
You: I appreciate it as well. I will admit that I never expected our relationship to progress as such, given the way our first few meetings happened. S
Stranger: Yeah it would have sucked if we didn't though. JK
You: It would not have been pleasant, especially given the fact that we are posted on the Enterprise together. S
Stranger: I was afraid you weren't going to come. JK
You: We work well together, despite our different ideologies. S My counterpart was also very intent on pointing that out to me. I could not pass the opportunity by. S
Stranger: I'm really glad. You make me better. JK
You: You do not need to be made better. You merely need guidance, when it counts. S We assist one another. S
Stranger: Well I'm always thankful for your advice. And as I'm learning, for your friendship. You're very dear to me, Spock. JK
You: As you are to me, Jim. S
Stranger: (Delayed) Spock, are you seeing anyone currently? JK
You: As I am in my quarters, I am not. S
Stranger: No I mean. JK
Stranger: Are you in a romantic relationship? JK
You: Ah. That makes more sense. S I am not. S
Stranger: Would you be open to one with me? JK
You: [delay] Yes. I believe that I would. S
Stranger: In that case, would you like to join me for dinner? We could eat on the observation deck. JK
You: I am agreeable. I would enjoy that very much. S
Stranger: And maybe a game of chess after if all goes well? JK
You: That sounds very nice. S [delay] Jim... You are not doing this merely because you are attempting to follow in our counterparts' steps, are you? I do not wish to dissuade you if that is not your intent, but if it is... You do not have to. Our timelines are different from one another. I do not want you to feel as though you have any sort of... mere obligation to this. S
Stranger: Nah. It's not an obligation thing. It's more I've liked you since I saw you at the trial and I'm finally going to do something about it. JK
You: I was accusing you of cheating at the trial! S
Stranger: So? JK
Stranger: You were still super hot, and I have a thing for people who are honest in all situations. JK
You: I do not know what a raised body temperature has to do with your level of attraction towards me. S You did not seem as though you had a "thing" then. You and Doctor McCoy were both glaring with very malicious intent towards me. S
Stranger: On the contrary, Bones was saying that he liked you. JK
Stranger: And I meant hot as in attractive. JK
You: Somehow, I highly doubt that. S [delay] I will admit that I was aware of your meaning with that particular phrase. S
Stranger: You sneak! Well it made me smile anyway. JK
Stranger: And you can ask Bones. He can't lie for shit so he'll tell you I'm telling the truth. JK
You: While there are some idioms that I do not understand, feigning ignorance on ones that I do is... amusing. S Even if he liked me then, I have no doubt that he would bluster and insult me about it now. He is not fond of me. S
Stranger: That's a lie. He teases you a lot but he wouldn't do that if he wasn't comfortable with you. JK
Stranger: Also you're really cute you know that? JK
You: I... do not believe that such a descriptor has ever been applied to me before. S Admittedly, he does not actually follow through with any of his empty threats towards me. I suppose I can agree with you, although I won't claim to understand it. S
Stranger: And if he hated you, he wouldn't have saved you. JK
You: That is a good point. S
Stranger: I try. There's this cute guy I want to impress so I gotta make logical arguments. JK
You: [slight delay] You are... flirting with me. S
Stranger: I am. JK
You: You have no need. I am already enamoured with you. S Are you not supposed to flirt /before/ you ask someone to join you for dinner? S
Stranger: I know I'll be asking you to dinner again. JK
You: Terran courtship rituals are very confusing. S
Stranger: Oh? How do you do it? JK
Stranger: We can try that too. JK
You: Vulcan culture does not have a conventional courtship ritual. As children, Vulcans are assigned their prospective mates based on various factors for maximum compatibility, and a preliminary bond is created between them. Most choose to consummate that bond as adults, though there are some who choose other mates or partners for themselves. S I do not mind Terran courtship. I will admit that I find your flirting enjoyable. S
Stranger: I'm glad you enjoy it. I guess I should ask if you've got a mate already? JK
You: [slight delay] I do not. My intended and I broke our bond when I turned down the Vulcan Science Academy's offer of employment. I do not believe she survived the destruction of my planet. S
Stranger: Oh, Spock. I'm so sorry. JK
You: I have come to terms with my grief. We were never close; she resented being my intended, given my human mother. S
Stranger: Well that's super sucky of her. JK
Stranger: I know your mom was awesome. JK
You: Thank you. S I wish that you could have met her. She would have enjoyed your company. S
Stranger: I would have liked that too. JK
Stranger: Spock, that preliminary bond, it serves a purpose doesn't it? JK
You: [slight delay] It does. It would not be done if it were illogical. S
Stranger: That's kinda what I thought. JK
Stranger: Should we initiate one of those? JK
You: You do not know what you're offering. S
Stranger: I know that there's something you need that isn't being filled, that I love you, and that it can't be asking for more than my life but I'd give that (have given it) for you any time. So, logically, the moment you desire it we can proceed. JK
You: [delay] Jim, the purpose that the bond serves is not something that is desperately required. S It is difficult to discuss. It is hardly discussed among Vulcans, much less with others. I could not ask you to blindly offer yourself to me this way. S
Stranger: Okay, I won't bring it up again. But if you change your mind, I'll have the same answer. We can take it at your pace. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. JK
You: You have not made me uncomfortable. I appreciate the offer, Jim. Truly. It means more to me than you will ever know that you would ask. S I have hope that the reason for the initial bond will never come to fruition for me, because of my heritage. And if that becomes the case, I could not think of anyone else whom I trust more than you to be bonded with. S
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what-even-is-thiss · 7 years
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okay maybe i shouldn't put my personal feelings out on the internet but i need to rant somewhere and this is way too long to put in a whisper. please feel free to ignore this.
man i hope it doesn’t seem like i’m looking for pity. i never know if it does and i just genuinely want to talk without getting looks of pity or disgust for once because i am so damn tired of those
oh my god i can’t even rant correctly. oh.
i just feel like i don’t mean anything i say or feel.  i can’t accept compliments. they just bounce off of me and i feel like i’m being unfair to the person that’s giving me the compliment and apparently my writing doesn’t suck because i’ve been getting a lot of compliments since i started posting on here and i feel like i’m just being unfair to everybody that has said such nice things.
i’ve been told off so much for the way i express my emotions. i show too much and yet too little. i’ll just not feel anything and keep a straight face and then start crying in public, but nobody ever sees me cry. everybody always used to make fun of me in school for crying and when i got older and mellowed out they found it weird i didn’t do much with my face. i know i can make a lot of faces. i practice in the mirror and i’ve done acting and played emotional characters. i’m just not emotional
i’m tired of just being myself sometimes. i’m tired of people coming up to me and asking why i’m always so sad when i’m not. i’m tired of thinking about that time my aunt yelled and screamed and cried at me for not showing much emotion and being quiet and calling me ungrateful. i’m tired of not being able to respond to compliments or reassurances in a good way that’s fair to the person that’s saying such kind things to me. i genuinely don’t know how to respond and don’t know if i should respond and i’m afraid of offending them.
i just don’t understand extreme emotion. i don’t understand why people get so excited. i don’t understand why they scream or flail about and jump up and down and hold on to each other. it looks enjoyable and i want to understand. i want to get it, but i don’t. sometimes it even annoys me and i feel so bad for thinking that. like, just let the people feel things roman. it’s none of your concern.
tonight somebody messaged me telling me i’m a good person. somebody else responded to a post i made about this same subject by telling me what i’m feeling is fine or something similar to that. i feel like i responded to those unfairly as well. i know everybody is different and all that cheesy emotional crap, but when you don’t act or feel like everybody else, and you’ve been constantly reminded of that your entire life it becomes hard to accept that wholeheartedly. it’s way too hard to believe it.
i never reblog romantic sanders sides stuff because i don’t understand sefcest ships, but i do read them sometimes because there’s some good writing if i can get over the weirdness for two seconds. anyways, i remember i came across a poly sanders fic where logic was trying to leave the relationship because he felt he was cheating the others because he never actually felt anything. he cried while still thinking he felt nothing. of course in the end he was comforted and made to feel like he belonged, but as i read it i knew that wouldn’t happen. it’s nice to think about, but i think if that were me i would just keep on leaving. or maybe pretend to accept the love for my partner’s sake. i think i do feel things. i think i do, but i’m always so detached from them and if i do feel what i express its just so muted. even as tears fall down my face sometimes i feel completely detached from them.
i don’t see my existence as sad by any means. i don’t want to change the way i am. but i can’t help but wonder... am i being fair to the world? am i going to ever fully connect with people outside of my stoic expressionless anxious family? we’re all like this. we feel too much and yet too little. we don’t show much because that’s how we are. i never saw my mother cry when she was alive. i only saw my dad cry at his mother’s funeral. that’s it. we’re dry and sarcastic and say i love you but never show what we’re feeling. i guess it’s in my blood. i’m meant to be like this. an expressionless person in an emotional world. doomed to be painted by media as just another spock or sheldon, or heartless monster waiting for love to fix them.
but i don’t want to be fixed. i have love. from my friends. my family. apparently from internet people too. and it didn’t change me. it didn’t suddenly make me feel more or start smiling as much as a normal person.
i just... i hope i’m being fair to you all. you can’t see it but every time one of you says something nice to me i have a moral dilemma. what do i say? what do i do? am i being fair? am i being kind? i never know. i never will, and i’m learning ever so slowly how to not hate myself, so it’s hard to believe in those compliments in the first place. i just feel like i’m cheating everyone, and when you try to comfort me i’m just uncomfortable and on some level i don’t want to be that way. i want to cry and be excited with you and accept your kind words and not be a hypocrite when i tell people not to talk badly about themselves. i want to oodle over cute things with my friends and be honest when i smile. i want to understand the level of excitement it takes to bring someone to screaming or crying or spontaneous hugs. i just want to understand and not feel like some kind of heartless monster.
but like i said, i also don’t want to change. i’m comfortable the way i am, and i don’t see my existence as a sad one. i just feel bad sometimes for not understanding. i feel like i owe some genuine feelings or kindness that i can’t give. i’m crying and not holding back the tears, but i don’t feel them. they don’t affect me. their salt just falls into my mouth and i don’t think twice. i’m detached from them, and i can’t help but wonder if that’s wrong. if a normal person would be distressed or try to hold them back, or at least feel something besides mild concern at how much they’re not feeling.
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